Hf Japan. InmUffh iHlent tfluli
nialii repre nutivt In the Hotted
State-. Mit of in ; m ev hi Oietfeas
ury not nHienvl !sa3ftpM'it!'d. any
sum iml ("avi'tli.ijj ix thi'i;i-1! tin'
lars, which 'ii ly he I i'i ii i,i i . due In
the government f . 1 ! v that "f
the United State--, , ee w i of mtt
for laiitl-orltii rtjtuirsnecu .'.l frho-
Sital plirpo i . 1 . a ii .( .i'iv )i
I the (Allied "t'Mc; i : N I
See. i i'lntllii- St'M.i'f of State,
thronvh'he di: itct'iv 111 t t 'np.
be, ad :c h h n!.v, anthorfwd hi
rent, fii'v.i li. and keep uitaWe Ini11d
Ings, -with gronnl appurtenant, i.i
Jeildo. nrmeh other place as he may
designate for a court-house and jail.
Ht an annual nKunt exceeding live
tfcottsftit)) dollar : l'r-ff' That the
period for which said building shall
he rented shall ! for two years, with
renewals for two years as the Secre
tary of State shall determine.
Sec. I'll it a further sum. not to
exceed two thousand five hundred dol
lars Ii. and the same is herehy. aNo
approprl a ted. out of any money til
the treasury not otherwise appropri
ated for the purchase of a suitable
Uw-library for the use of said legation
in Japan, the select inn ot said ilhrarv
4o lie made hv the
! the Secretary of State.
la ru ll 3, 1173.
Appro, et. Ma
(Jcneptt Na'nre No. 7fi.
AN Av.ll' authorizing the Secre
tory of War to Airtttstt duplicate
Oertilicate of discharge where t lie
same Ills been lo t.
Bp U "' dby -V tv.' and 1 nt .f
R pr . a v i if It Unit '' S ii Avi r
ica in . r m wfc! it, Thai wneiteyw
satisfactory proof !.l be fumi-hed
to the War ttt-partment iliat any non
commissioned nlHeeror orivate o!dler
who served In ! he army ol !'' U itted
States in tile in te war ajraisK the re
bellion has lost, his certificate of dis
charge, to !: i..1r .i ly ii. irked, so lint
it may he known s s riTrpttcartP : i Tr
viile.it. Such certificate shall not lie ac
cepted lis a voucher i' r tl c payment
ot any c aim againsi die United States
for pay. I mi ity or oi hi r allowance, or
as evidence in any nth r cas.
See. That the army regulations
now in force are hereby modified hi
accordance with the provisions of this
act.
Approved, Martli 3. 1S73.
General Suture No. 74. 1
AN ACT to restore Absalom Kirhy
as second assistant engineer in the
navy.
?. it i nadd bi th 8 ml-' and ll tf
tteprettVUa 'Hrf h- Un i d H 'atrmtf Amr
ica in Owim ri mb' d, Tlmt the Presi
dent of tlu United Slates le. a d he is
hereby, aiitlioriasl, hv and with the
advice and consent of the Senate, to
restore Absalom Kirhy to his original
position on the active list as a second
asalstaut engineer in the navy of the
United States
Approve i. March 3, 1873.
Family Govern m knt, " W il
liam, stiip that noise, t say! Won't
you stop? stop I udl yon, or 1' I slap
your month."
Will'am bawls a little louder.
"William, I tell yon. ain't, you
going to stop? stop, I say! If you
don't stop i'll wtiip you. sire."
William goes up fifth and beats
time wil h his heels.
"I never saw such a child! He's
got temper enough for a whole
town; I'm sure he did not get it
from me. Why don't you lie still?
Whist, whl-fci. Come, come, lie
still won't you? Stop, stop, I say!
Don't you see this stick? See here,
now!' (''nt tlie air with a stick.)
William, more Anions, kicks
very manfully at his mother
grows redder in the face, lets out
the lat note, a d begins to reel
and shake and twist in a most
spito'h manner.
"Come, William, come dear
that's a darling naughty William!
Come, that's a good boy; don(t cry,
p.o-o-r fellow; sant ab-o-oseyou sail
eh? Ma's little man want a piece
sooga? . Ma's little Iwy got cramp?
P-olo-r little sick boy!' &p.
William wipes up and minds, and
eats his sugar am! stops.
Avtbk Scene. The minister
present, and a very nice to'k is
going on upon the necessity of gov
erning children.
"Too true," says, mamma, "some
people give up to their children,
and it ruins them every child
should l governed, but then ti
won't do to carry it too far; it will
break a child's spirit. One ought to
mix kindness and firmness together
in managing children."
"I think so," said the preacher;
"firmness first and then kindness."
"Yes, sir, that's my practice exact
ly." TP. Beechcr.
A somewhat illiterate gentleman
has named his dog "Michael An
gelo," on the supposition that M.
A. was one ot the old mastitis.
v i.V; TWATt n'ofi. '-'ttyx the
cnrresp ntlei.t of t.lte "'incinnatl
flU st ; f : lien is a rcmark
ahle lii li'liihii jj; to one ot" the
Meam lit-.' eiifffiie .mianiw inthis
city. I e irii e loiise is on ("api
t..l !M1. ai d tlie Company is noted
for btn q;"i e.'1'' eii-..mjitit,quiek-cs!
a d in. si ei'iftivp in tl.e coun
try. he inemlx'ts are soivr, peaw
able, and very atteuiive ) tlieir tlti
ties. The enirii.e is as clean and
shiny as new watch, and a clean
er lot mi' iHirses, harness ami gen.
eral equipment were never seen.
The eigiup company is alsii cele
brated tl,r their dug. lie isot'tlie
Newfiuirfllil breed, larate and
heavy built, His coat is full and
shaggy and o'"a very dark bvown.
The face of the d.g is anvable as
W'lius, his jaws are 'urge and pow
erful, and his teeth sharp and long.
Whenever an alarm of tire is sound
ed, the dog listens attentively for a
moment Until the number of liells in
dicate the locality; he rushes,
harking furiously, to the stable of
the hum's, which is the ba-ement
of the engine-house, and by the
time he gets there tho hordes are
out, he takes his position at their
head and runs to the tire. The
lire has been lighted in the mean
time, and in less than three minutes
the engine is rushing through the
ctreejs as it hell l ad broken loose.
What in wonderful about the dog
is that the instant that, the driver
moii ts his seat and takes the reins
m his l ands the dog starts of at a
fearful pais1 in the direction of tlie
fire, harking ondly and keeping
time with the liell of the engine,
giving a bark for every stroke of
the lu ll. How the dog knows
where the tire is has lieeu for
months a mystey to me. The
lmrsea are cIoks behind him, and
(oeni to follow hint. He turns cor
nel's, avoids the tracks of street cars,
and leads the way, indeed, to the
scene of the fire 'an it be possi
ble, that the dog kniiwa the system
of alarms in this city?
Room vv Stairs, A young
man thought of studying law, but
he would first go and ask the ad
vice of Daniel Webster about it,
" They tell me, sir," said the young
man, '"that the profession is full,
and that there are more lawyers
now than are leeded. Do you
think there is any room for me?"
" I here is always room up stairs,"
was Webster's reply. Room
enough up stairs! That is true, for
the number of first class workmen
is small ami the demand is large.
i-'irt-class frrmcs, mechanics, phy
sicians, lawyers and ministers al
ways find plenty of room, plenty
of work, and sjood pay. What
ever your calling may be, if it be
an honest one, lie determined to go
into the ip)er story of it.
A Mki.anchoi.y
Mixture.
Census takers and gatherers of sta
tistics have some queer experiences.
One of them, calling at a house in
the Fourth Ward, asked tor the
master of the house, and was intro
duced to a gentleman, with the map
of Ireland legibly printed on his
countenance, when the following dia
logue ensued:
"Will you be kind enough to tell
me your nationality, sir?"
"Me nationality? f hat's that?"
"Where were you born? What
Countryman are you?"
"Ah, now, ye he's wan av thim
chaps as goes round wid a book for
the names of the byes as votes."
"Not exactly; but I am collecting
information, and would like to know
your nationality."
"Collecting information? begorra,
thin perhaps ye'd bctellin' me what
countryman 1 am yerself, tor I can't
make it out at all. Me father was
a naturalized Irishman. Me mother
was an English woman. I was
born in a Dutch ship, under the
French flag, in Turkish wathers."
The "collector of information"
"passed."
A Germau in Buffalo fell into a
beer vat, the other day, and was
drowned. He drank as hard as he
could to save himself, and would
nave succeeded, had not a floating
cork choked him.
1U HOKOt S.
Bedouin should lose his
If a
teeth, would he talk gum Arabic?
A Western jury rendered a ver
dict of "death by hanging round a
rum shop."
American belles ought to make
good housewives, because they put
up with little or no waist.
Tell ma to forgive me, for 0, I
am so happy, was the telegram an
Indianapolis girl sent to her father,
to apprise him of her elopement
wilh a telegraph operator.
A gentleman was complimenting
a pretty young lady in the presence
of his wife. "It is lucky 1 did not
meet Miss Hopkins before I married
you, my dear. "Well, yes tl is
extremely lucky for her," was the
dry rejoinder
A parson, reading the funeral ser
vice at the grave, forgot the sex of
the deceased, and asked'flhie of the
mourners, an Emerald Islander, "Is
this a brother or a sister?" "eith
cr," replied 1 at, "only a cousin."
"Enjoy it! I guess I did immense
ly, till I looked at the lady in the
front seat, and all at once I was
unhappy; for, would you believe it,
my ivick hair wasn't up high
enough."
It will be a surprise to many to
know that Washington Irving was
a confessed orchard thief. Once,
when picking up an apple under a
tree in his own orchard, he was
accosted by an urchin of the neigh
borhood, who, not recognizing him
as the proprietor, ottered to show
him a tree where he could "get
some better apples than th se.
But," said the boy, "we must take
care the old man doesn't see us."
"I went with him," said Irving,
"and we stole a dozen of my own
apples."
Not over fifty miles east of Au
burn, on the line ot the Central
I acific Railroad, there lives a man
whose sense of hearing is not very
acute, as will appear from the fol
lowing: He was hunting for game
about a mile distant trom his resi
deuce, when a grouse flew up and
lit on a tree on the hillside; and
the same moment a traveler ap
prorched and inquired the distance
to the next statiou.
Deaf Man (pointing). "He flew
right up there."
I raveler. "How far is it to the
next station?"
Deaf man. "He lit right up
there "
Traveler "You must be a d d
fool."
Deaf man. "Yes, there is a
great many around this time of the
year."
Jinks had been indulging too fre
quel it ly in ardent spirits. At a
street corner his hat dropped into
the gutter. Savs Jinks: "1 know
if I pick you up" I'll tall It I tall
you won't p hie me hie up
(iood night!" Ana he walked on
with a smile of satisfaction, describ
ing innumerable zig-zags as he went,
leaving his hat in the gutter.
Modesty aud merit are a hand
some coupe.
Many children, many cares; no
childreu, no felicity.
Search others for their virtues,
and thyself for thy vices.
Without good-nature, man is
only a better sort of vermin.
Wise men have but few confi
dants; and cunning men, none.
Talmage says that when Chris
tians lie they lie like the devil.
He rigid to yourself and gentle
to others. So said Confucius.
To love is to place our happi
ness in the happiness of another.
A failure in a good cause is bet
ter than a triumph in a bad one.
The whole earth is the monu
incut ot illustrious men. Pericles.
Men deride the self-conceit of
power, but cringe to its injustice.
It thou hast fear of those who
command thee, spare those who
obey.
To see what is right and not to
do it is want of courage. Confu
cius. The literature of nations begins
with fables and ends with romances.
How it was Put up on a
Monk. The delight of the Papal
party is to lead iihe Italian fiov.
eminent into tronbte, and to repre
sent its actions to the people as a
model of tyranny, 'improvidence,
and absurdity, ftmnst beacknowl
edged that the latter lays itseT
open but too readily to such insinua
tions and blunders, even than
seems natural, from its over-anxious
desire to avoid new complica
tions. I bus, a few days ago a ven
erable monk of the famous Church
of Ara Cell was discovered to be in
possession ot igeniously contrived
plates, by means of which an im
meiise number of twenty-five fraue
notes had been forged, and, for years
been successfully circulated in all
iarts of Italy. The police did not
wish to arrest the friar, but the au
thorities were goaded on by an
unlucky man of virtue who had
made the discovery, and was de
termined to reap the reward of on
masking such villainy. When the
monk was at last brought up to
headquarters, he boldly claimed
to have received the plates, which
were found on his person, trom the
sexton of his church, Again oppor
tunity was offered hint to escape
but he seemed to lie as much tool
as knave, aud remained in prison
while his cell was .searched.
There, among other things most un
likely to be met with in convents,
a number of photographs of obscene
character, ami of letters from well
known persons of ill-repute, were
found; the former, upon being inter
rogated, he declared to have taken
from young persons under his, care
for the sake of public morality, but
for the letters he could not account.
The church prrty are, of course,
tierce in their indignation at this
plot ot the Government to brinst
an excellent man of well proved
piety and stainless reputation into
sore trouble, while the police, hav
ing obtained possession of the dan
gerous plates ,wou!d be delighted
to get rid of the hardly !ess danger
ous monk Nor is the matter
likely to end there. New troubles
will arise from it in Parliament,
where the Ministers are sure to lie
questioned on the subject, and the
want of vigila'ce in a lowing so
great an amount of counterfeit
money to lie manufactured, aud to
lie put in circulation during hi
many years, will be made the sul
ject of a violent attack, in which
the Papists willjoiu with zest and
great eagerness.
Another Man Needed. Old
farmer Petti ugill went into his
house one day and caught John,
the hired man, hiurging Mrs. P.
The farmer said nothing, and
went out into the field.
After dinner he wanted John for
something, but John was not to be
found.
He went, at last, into John's
room, where the latter was on his
knees packing his trunk.
"What's the matter, John?"
said P.
"O, nothing," replied John.
"What are you packing your
trunk for?"
"I'm going away."
"Going away! What are you
going away for?"
"O you know," answered John.
"No I don't know," rejoined P.
"Come, give me the reason of your
sudden desire to go away?',
"Well," meekly answered John,
"you know what you caught me
doing this forenoon!"
"0 pshaw!' laughed Pettingtll;
"do not be so foolish. If you and
mo can't hug the old wonnvi
euough, I'll hire another man."
A Kiss in tiif Dark. Young
ladies should be careful about who
they kiss particularly in the dark.
A Vallejo young lady, about to
go off in the cars, stepped into the
darK sitting room to kiss her friend
Sarah good-by. Owing to the
darkness she didn't see Sarah but
caromed on a Chinaman, and didn't
find out the mistake until John be
gan yelling:
" Whatee for you so chokee me!
Hi vah! No squeeze bo mucheel"
One yell, a flopping of feminine
garments, a slammed door, and the
girl was gone.
ScKNit i A Cot'to HtoN wit
ness in a case of assault on Mr.
Judcfe wMi 4nAigNltf--'f oung
man, do you know this Brown?"
Hoy, looking roguishly at his
Honor and shaking his head
"No yer don't, Judge."
Judge, indignantly "What do
you mean by that, sir? Answer
my question; do you know this
lirown?"
Hoy, with a peculiar wink "No
yer don't, Judge"
Judge, in a rage "Answer me,
you young villain, or I will com
mit you tor contempt of court. Do
you know this Hrown?"
Hoy, applying his thumb to the
end of his nose, aud wriggling mys
teriously his elongated tinners
j "Ver can't come it. Judge. I know
' what yer want; you want me to ask
yer what Hrown, aud then yer goiu'
to say Krowu Stout- No yer don't,
jiulue."
How They Trade in the Ken
tucky Mountains At Point
Creek, Jackson county, a trader
had bought sheep of a resident.
Resident had one more to sell,
when the following conversation en
sued: Trader "I'll give yon two dol
lars for that sheep."
Resident "It's worth five dol
lars." T. "It aint worth two dollars."
P. "it's worth five dollars."
T. "It aint."
'(drawing a large navy)-" What's
that there sheep worth?"
T. "Under the circumstances, I
think it's worth nigh unto s x dol
lars." They traded forthwith. cFar
non(Ky) Standard,
A New Orleans paper tel's us of
a printer who, when his fellow
workmen went out to drink lieer,
during work hours, put in4he bank
the exact amount which he would
have spent if he had gone out to
drink. He thus kept his resolution
for five years. He then examined
his bank account, aud found that
he had on deposit $521 86. In
the five years he had not lost a
day from ill health.
Three out of five of his fellow
workmen had, in the meantime, be
come drunkards, and were dis
charged. The water drinker then
bought out the printing office,
went on enlarging the business and
in twenty years from the time he be
gan to put by his money, was worth
S100,000. The story, whether new
or old, teaches a lesson which every
boy and young man should lay to
heart.
Thirty years ago a young man en
tered the city of New York in an
almost penniless condition ami with
out a single acquaintance in the
great wi Ideri ess of houses. To-day
his name is kown wherever human
ity breathes. It is spoken in every
city, and is as familiar to the work
ers in the mines as to his brother in
the mills, and wherever language is
known and ideas expressed the
name of this penniless, unknown
and uncouth lad ofthirty years ago,
is uttered. It was John Smith.
A Haverhill clergyman married
a couple the other day. The groom
was a tall strippling whose weight
with all his wedding fixtures on
was ninety-seven pounds, while
that of the buxom bride was two
hundred and ten. They both de
clared that they had loved through
thick and thin. When the minis
ter looked at the scrip he received
for the job he thought it was pretty
thin.
Sir Fletcher Norton was noted
for his waut of courtesy. Pleading
one day before Lord Mansfield on
some question of manorial right, he
chanced to say: "My lord, I can
illustrate the point in my own per
son: I myself have too little man
ors." The Judge immediately
interposed, with his usual bland
smile, "We all know it, SirTletch
er!" The test of a man's honesty is in
the sacrifice he will make to pre
serve it.