Hf Japan. InmUffh iHlent tfluli nialii repre nutivt In the Hotted State-. Mit of in ; m ev hi Oietfeas ury not nHienvl !sa3ftpM'it!'d. any sum iml ("avi'tli.ijj ix thi'i;i-1! tin' lars, which 'ii ly he I i'i ii i,i i . due In the government f . 1 ! v that "f the United State--, , ee w i of mtt for laiitl-orltii rtjtuirsnecu .'.l frho- Sital plirpo i . 1 . a ii .( .i'iv )i I the (Allied "t'Mc; i : N I See. i i'lntllii- St'M.i'f of State, thronvh'he di: itct'iv 111 t t 'np. be, ad :c h h n!.v, anthorfwd hi rent, fii'v.i li. and keep uitaWe Ini11d Ings, -with gronnl appurtenant, i.i Jeildo. nrmeh other place as he may designate for a court-house and jail. Ht an annual nKunt exceeding live tfcottsftit)) dollar : l'r-ff' That the period for which said building shall he rented shall ! for two years, with renewals for two years as the Secre tary of State shall determine. Sec. I'll it a further sum. not to exceed two thousand five hundred dol lars Ii. and the same is herehy. aNo approprl a ted. out of any money til the treasury not otherwise appropri ated for the purchase of a suitable Uw-library for the use of said legation in Japan, the select inn ot said ilhrarv 4o lie made hv the ! the Secretary of State. la ru ll 3, 1173. Appro, et. Ma (Jcneptt Na'nre No. 7fi. AN Av.ll' authorizing the Secre tory of War to Airtttstt duplicate Oertilicate of discharge where t lie same Ills been lo t. Bp U "' dby -V tv.' and 1 nt .f R pr . a v i if It Unit '' S ii Avi r ica in . r m wfc! it, Thai wneiteyw satisfactory proof !.l be fumi-hed to the War ttt-partment iliat any non commissioned nlHeeror orivate o!dler who served In ! he army ol !'' U itted States in tile in te war ajraisK the re bellion has lost, his certificate of dis charge, to !: i..1r .i ly ii. irked, so lint it may he known s s riTrpttcartP : i Tr viile.it. Such certificate shall not lie ac cepted lis a voucher i' r tl c payment ot any c aim againsi die United States for pay. I mi ity or oi hi r allowance, or as evidence in any nth r cas. See. That the army regulations now in force are hereby modified hi accordance with the provisions of this act. Approved, Martli 3. 1S73. General Suture No. 74. 1 AN ACT to restore Absalom Kirhy as second assistant engineer in the navy. ?. it i nadd bi th 8 ml-' and ll tf tteprettVUa 'Hrf h- Un i d H 'atrmtf Amr ica in Owim ri mb' d, Tlmt the Presi dent of tlu United Slates le. a d he is hereby, aiitlioriasl, hv and with the advice and consent of the Senate, to restore Absalom Kirhy to his original position on the active list as a second asalstaut engineer in the navy of the United States Approve i. March 3, 1873. Family Govern m knt, " W il liam, stiip that noise, t say! Won't you stop? stop I udl yon, or 1' I slap your month." Will'am bawls a little louder. "William, I tell yon. ain't, you going to stop? stop, I say! If you don't stop i'll wtiip you. sire." William goes up fifth and beats time wil h his heels. "I never saw such a child! He's got temper enough for a whole town; I'm sure he did not get it from me. Why don't you lie still? Whist, whl-fci. Come, come, lie still won't you? Stop, stop, I say! Don't you see this stick? See here, now!' (''nt tlie air with a stick.) William, more Anions, kicks very manfully at his mother grows redder in the face, lets out the lat note, a d begins to reel and shake and twist in a most spito'h manner. "Come, William, come dear that's a darling naughty William! Come, that's a good boy; don(t cry, p.o-o-r fellow; sant ab-o-oseyou sail eh? Ma's little man want a piece sooga? . Ma's little Iwy got cramp? P-olo-r little sick boy!' &p. William wipes up and minds, and eats his sugar am! stops. Avtbk Scene. The minister present, and a very nice to'k is going on upon the necessity of gov erning children. "Too true," says, mamma, "some people give up to their children, and it ruins them every child should l governed, but then ti won't do to carry it too far; it will break a child's spirit. One ought to mix kindness and firmness together in managing children." "I think so," said the preacher; "firmness first and then kindness." "Yes, sir, that's my practice exact ly." TP. Beechcr. A somewhat illiterate gentleman has named his dog "Michael An gelo," on the supposition that M. A. was one ot the old mastitis. v i.V; TWATt n'ofi. '-'ttyx the cnrresp ntlei.t of t.lte "'incinnatl flU st ; f : lien is a rcmark ahle lii li'liihii jj; to one ot" the Meam lit-.' eiifffiie .mianiw inthis city. I e irii e loiise is on ("api t..l !M1. ai d tlie Company is noted for btn q;"i e.'1'' eii-..mjitit,quiek-cs! a d in. si ei'iftivp in tl.e coun try. he inemlx'ts are soivr, peaw able, and very atteuiive ) tlieir tlti ties. The enirii.e is as clean and shiny as new watch, and a clean er lot mi' iHirses, harness ami gen. eral equipment were never seen. The eigiup company is alsii cele brated tl,r their dug. lie isot'tlie Newfiuirfllil breed, larate and heavy built, His coat is full and shaggy and o'"a very dark bvown. The face of the d.g is anvable as W'lius, his jaws are 'urge and pow erful, and his teeth sharp and long. Whenever an alarm of tire is sound ed, the dog listens attentively for a moment Until the number of liells in dicate the locality; he rushes, harking furiously, to the stable of the hum's, which is the ba-ement of the engine-house, and by the time he gets there tho hordes are out, he takes his position at their head and runs to the tire. The lire has been lighted in the mean time, and in less than three minutes the engine is rushing through the ctreejs as it hell l ad broken loose. What in wonderful about the dog is that the instant that, the driver moii ts his seat and takes the reins m his l ands the dog starts of at a fearful pais1 in the direction of tlie fire, harking ondly and keeping time with the liell of the engine, giving a bark for every stroke of the lu ll. How the dog knows where the tire is has lieeu for months a mystey to me. The lmrsea are cIoks behind him, and (oeni to follow hint. He turns cor nel's, avoids the tracks of street cars, and leads the way, indeed, to the scene of the fire 'an it be possi ble, that the dog kniiwa the system of alarms in this city? Room vv Stairs, A young man thought of studying law, but he would first go and ask the ad vice of Daniel Webster about it, " They tell me, sir," said the young man, '"that the profession is full, and that there are more lawyers now than are leeded. Do you think there is any room for me?" " I here is always room up stairs," was Webster's reply. Room enough up stairs! That is true, for the number of first class workmen is small ami the demand is large. i-'irt-class frrmcs, mechanics, phy sicians, lawyers and ministers al ways find plenty of room, plenty of work, and sjood pay. What ever your calling may be, if it be an honest one, lie determined to go into the ip)er story of it. A Mki.anchoi.y Mixture. Census takers and gatherers of sta tistics have some queer experiences. One of them, calling at a house in the Fourth Ward, asked tor the master of the house, and was intro duced to a gentleman, with the map of Ireland legibly printed on his countenance, when the following dia logue ensued: "Will you be kind enough to tell me your nationality, sir?" "Me nationality? f hat's that?" "Where were you born? What Countryman are you?" "Ah, now, ye he's wan av thim chaps as goes round wid a book for the names of the byes as votes." "Not exactly; but I am collecting information, and would like to know your nationality." "Collecting information? begorra, thin perhaps ye'd bctellin' me what countryman 1 am yerself, tor I can't make it out at all. Me father was a naturalized Irishman. Me mother was an English woman. I was born in a Dutch ship, under the French flag, in Turkish wathers." The "collector of information" "passed." A Germau in Buffalo fell into a beer vat, the other day, and was drowned. He drank as hard as he could to save himself, and would nave succeeded, had not a floating cork choked him. 1U HOKOt S. Bedouin should lose his If a teeth, would he talk gum Arabic? A Western jury rendered a ver dict of "death by hanging round a rum shop." American belles ought to make good housewives, because they put up with little or no waist. Tell ma to forgive me, for 0, I am so happy, was the telegram an Indianapolis girl sent to her father, to apprise him of her elopement wilh a telegraph operator. A gentleman was complimenting a pretty young lady in the presence of his wife. "It is lucky 1 did not meet Miss Hopkins before I married you, my dear. "Well, yes tl is extremely lucky for her," was the dry rejoinder A parson, reading the funeral ser vice at the grave, forgot the sex of the deceased, and asked'flhie of the mourners, an Emerald Islander, "Is this a brother or a sister?" "eith cr," replied 1 at, "only a cousin." "Enjoy it! I guess I did immense ly, till I looked at the lady in the front seat, and all at once I was unhappy; for, would you believe it, my ivick hair wasn't up high enough." It will be a surprise to many to know that Washington Irving was a confessed orchard thief. Once, when picking up an apple under a tree in his own orchard, he was accosted by an urchin of the neigh borhood, who, not recognizing him as the proprietor, ottered to show him a tree where he could "get some better apples than th se. But," said the boy, "we must take care the old man doesn't see us." "I went with him," said Irving, "and we stole a dozen of my own apples." Not over fifty miles east of Au burn, on the line ot the Central I acific Railroad, there lives a man whose sense of hearing is not very acute, as will appear from the fol lowing: He was hunting for game about a mile distant trom his resi deuce, when a grouse flew up and lit on a tree on the hillside; and the same moment a traveler ap prorched and inquired the distance to the next statiou. Deaf Man (pointing). "He flew right up there." I raveler. "How far is it to the next station?" Deaf man. "He lit right up there " Traveler "You must be a d d fool." Deaf man. "Yes, there is a great many around this time of the year." Jinks had been indulging too fre quel it ly in ardent spirits. At a street corner his hat dropped into the gutter. Savs Jinks: "1 know if I pick you up" I'll tall It I tall you won't p hie me hie up (iood night!" Ana he walked on with a smile of satisfaction, describ ing innumerable zig-zags as he went, leaving his hat in the gutter. Modesty aud merit are a hand some coupe. Many children, many cares; no childreu, no felicity. Search others for their virtues, and thyself for thy vices. Without good-nature, man is only a better sort of vermin. Wise men have but few confi dants; and cunning men, none. Talmage says that when Chris tians lie they lie like the devil. He rigid to yourself and gentle to others. So said Confucius. To love is to place our happi ness in the happiness of another. A failure in a good cause is bet ter than a triumph in a bad one. The whole earth is the monu incut ot illustrious men. Pericles. Men deride the self-conceit of power, but cringe to its injustice. It thou hast fear of those who command thee, spare those who obey. To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage. Confu cius. The literature of nations begins with fables and ends with romances. How it was Put up on a Monk. The delight of the Papal party is to lead iihe Italian fiov. eminent into tronbte, and to repre sent its actions to the people as a model of tyranny, 'improvidence, and absurdity, ftmnst beacknowl edged that the latter lays itseT open but too readily to such insinua tions and blunders, even than seems natural, from its over-anxious desire to avoid new complica tions. I bus, a few days ago a ven erable monk of the famous Church of Ara Cell was discovered to be in possession ot igeniously contrived plates, by means of which an im meiise number of twenty-five fraue notes had been forged, and, for years been successfully circulated in all iarts of Italy. The police did not wish to arrest the friar, but the au thorities were goaded on by an unlucky man of virtue who had made the discovery, and was de termined to reap the reward of on masking such villainy. When the monk was at last brought up to headquarters, he boldly claimed to have received the plates, which were found on his person, trom the sexton of his church, Again oppor tunity was offered hint to escape but he seemed to lie as much tool as knave, aud remained in prison while his cell was .searched. There, among other things most un likely to be met with in convents, a number of photographs of obscene character, ami of letters from well known persons of ill-repute, were found; the former, upon being inter rogated, he declared to have taken from young persons under his, care for the sake of public morality, but for the letters he could not account. The church prrty are, of course, tierce in their indignation at this plot ot the Government to brinst an excellent man of well proved piety and stainless reputation into sore trouble, while the police, hav ing obtained possession of the dan gerous plates ,wou!d be delighted to get rid of the hardly !ess danger ous monk Nor is the matter likely to end there. New troubles will arise from it in Parliament, where the Ministers are sure to lie questioned on the subject, and the want of vigila'ce in a lowing so great an amount of counterfeit money to lie manufactured, aud to lie put in circulation during hi many years, will be made the sul ject of a violent attack, in which the Papists willjoiu with zest and great eagerness. Another Man Needed. Old farmer Petti ugill went into his house one day and caught John, the hired man, hiurging Mrs. P. The farmer said nothing, and went out into the field. After dinner he wanted John for something, but John was not to be found. He went, at last, into John's room, where the latter was on his knees packing his trunk. "What's the matter, John?" said P. "O, nothing," replied John. "What are you packing your trunk for?" "I'm going away." "Going away! What are you going away for?" "O you know," answered John. "No I don't know," rejoined P. "Come, give me the reason of your sudden desire to go away?', "Well," meekly answered John, "you know what you caught me doing this forenoon!" "0 pshaw!' laughed Pettingtll; "do not be so foolish. If you and mo can't hug the old wonnvi euough, I'll hire another man." A Kiss in tiif Dark. Young ladies should be careful about who they kiss particularly in the dark. A Vallejo young lady, about to go off in the cars, stepped into the darK sitting room to kiss her friend Sarah good-by. Owing to the darkness she didn't see Sarah but caromed on a Chinaman, and didn't find out the mistake until John be gan yelling: " Whatee for you so chokee me! Hi vah! No squeeze bo mucheel" One yell, a flopping of feminine garments, a slammed door, and the girl was gone. ScKNit i A Cot'to HtoN wit ness in a case of assault on Mr. Judcfe wMi 4nAigNltf--'f oung man, do you know this Brown?" Hoy, looking roguishly at his Honor and shaking his head "No yer don't, Judge." Judge, indignantly "What do you mean by that, sir? Answer my question; do you know this lirown?" Hoy, with a peculiar wink "No yer don't, Judge" Judge, in a rage "Answer me, you young villain, or I will com mit you tor contempt of court. Do you know this Hrown?" Hoy, applying his thumb to the end of his nose, aud wriggling mys teriously his elongated tinners j "Ver can't come it. Judge. I know ' what yer want; you want me to ask yer what Hrown, aud then yer goiu' to say Krowu Stout- No yer don't, jiulue." How They Trade in the Ken tucky Mountains At Point Creek, Jackson county, a trader had bought sheep of a resident. Resident had one more to sell, when the following conversation en sued: Trader "I'll give yon two dol lars for that sheep." Resident "It's worth five dol lars." T. "It aint worth two dollars." P. "it's worth five dollars." T. "It aint." '(drawing a large navy)-" What's that there sheep worth?" T. "Under the circumstances, I think it's worth nigh unto s x dol lars." They traded forthwith. cFar non(Ky) Standard, A New Orleans paper tel's us of a printer who, when his fellow workmen went out to drink lieer, during work hours, put in4he bank the exact amount which he would have spent if he had gone out to drink. He thus kept his resolution for five years. He then examined his bank account, aud found that he had on deposit $521 86. In the five years he had not lost a day from ill health. Three out of five of his fellow workmen had, in the meantime, be come drunkards, and were dis charged. The water drinker then bought out the printing office, went on enlarging the business and in twenty years from the time he be gan to put by his money, was worth S100,000. The story, whether new or old, teaches a lesson which every boy and young man should lay to heart. Thirty years ago a young man en tered the city of New York in an almost penniless condition ami with out a single acquaintance in the great wi Ideri ess of houses. To-day his name is kown wherever human ity breathes. It is spoken in every city, and is as familiar to the work ers in the mines as to his brother in the mills, and wherever language is known and ideas expressed the name of this penniless, unknown and uncouth lad ofthirty years ago, is uttered. It was John Smith. A Haverhill clergyman married a couple the other day. The groom was a tall strippling whose weight with all his wedding fixtures on was ninety-seven pounds, while that of the buxom bride was two hundred and ten. They both de clared that they had loved through thick and thin. When the minis ter looked at the scrip he received for the job he thought it was pretty thin. Sir Fletcher Norton was noted for his waut of courtesy. Pleading one day before Lord Mansfield on some question of manorial right, he chanced to say: "My lord, I can illustrate the point in my own per son: I myself have too little man ors." The Judge immediately interposed, with his usual bland smile, "We all know it, SirTletch er!" The test of a man's honesty is in the sacrifice he will make to pre serve it.