Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (April 25, 1873)
I P Fisher VOLUME V. ALBANY, OREGON, APRIL 26, 1873. NO. 34. The Partiou's Trotter. Parson Brackett had been settled over the first parish of' Rustfield for several years, and a staid, solemn and temperate man, verging to ward the frosts of three-score and ten. He was a kind-hearted friend, a faithful counsellor, and a very ac ceptable preacher. Once upon a time the parson's horse died, and he must purchase another. His salary was small, and he could not spare many dollars fo anything luxurious in the way of horseflesh. His neigh bor Richards had a horse in pasture which he thought would answer the parson's purpose. S.id horse had been sent up from Portland by Habcock,iuthespring, with instruc tions to the fanner that if he lived to be worth selling, he might be sold tor what he would bring. The animal had come upon the farm with spavin and heaves, and to all appearances essentially used up, and, more than this, he was quite old, and blind of'an eye. Hut by the coming of autumn the old horse had picked up won derfully and, Richards believed, would answer the parsou's purpose as well as a better. Richards wrote to Babcock, stating the case, and George wrote back that the parson might have the animal for just what he was willing to pay, and so 1 'arson Brackett became the owner of the horse. Now there was a bit of history connected with that horse which had not been communicated to the farmer, ami which was not known in Rust field. The animal had been in his day, a noted trotter, and tor ten years, at least, he had been one of the bright particular stars at Cambridge, h?.vi-v; heen pitted both against "Mac" and "Lady Suffolk;" and it had been a remem brance of this brilliant career which bad led the former owner to secure a good home for the beast in his old age. On a bright, bracing Sabbath morning in ( )ctober, Parson Brackett set forth from his home to preach in Dixford. The distance was twelve miles, and he was thankful, as he rode onward, that he had so good a horse, for the animal crept over the ground at a grand rate, considering his age and the price which had been paid for him. Upon the outskirts of the town of Dixford the road struck a level plain of intervale, reaching thus for fuil two miles to the village, and just as the parson reached this point, two young bloods, with fast horses and sulkies, came up behind him, shouting in the heat of a race, and attempted to drive past him. The old racer studied the battle in a moment, lie gave a prolonged snort then shook his head then reared aloft and when he came down he closed his teeth against the bit and shot oft' like a cannon ball. The parson was a man of nerve and courage, but he knew nothing about race-horses. He did just the thing which he should not have done. He drew up the reins with all his might, and halloed: "Whoa! Whoa!"' as loudly as he could. Away went the old racer, at a t rot square and honest, but fearfully rapid, and behind came the youth ful bloods, whippiii$their horses to a gallop; and the welkin rang with the noise the parson thundering bis "whoa! whoa r while the pur suers whooped and hurrahed, The noise readied the village, and the people were out to behold the cause; and ere long Parson Rrackett came Hying in behind his trotter,ileading the running horses by several rods, and when the par son reined up at the publio bouse the old horse came to a stop as or derly and quietly as if nothing had happened out of the way. At first the good people of Dix ford were so shocked that they were tempted not to allow Parson Brackett to preach to them; but be fore the time for the service arrived he had so explained matters that the weight o' blame was lifted from his shoulders. He preached on that Sabbath, and on the following day he sold his trotter at a big advance on the price he had paid for him. A REMARKABLE DESK. An Omaha paper gives the fol lowing description of a magnificent desk, made by a man in Montana as a gift to President Giant : Yesterday afternoon there arriv ed in this city, by the Union Pacific, a magnificent piece of handiwork in the shape of a desk, which was being taken on to Washington as a gift to Gen. Grant from the build er, hredenck fc. Schultze, of Bore- man, 100 miles from Helena, in Montana Territory. It was shipped in four sections, or boxes, and a de scription of it, obtained from one who knew all about it, is well worth producing for the perusal of our readers. It was moulded after rock at Wind river, and i (bur sto ries in height. In the first story there is a book-stand on each side, and it. the centre there is a place for a seat. The second story is a sec retary, and is composed of three revolving cylinders, which, upon mearely touchiug a spring, can be turned around bringing into view six drawers, a mirror, ink stand, pigeon-holes, &c A libra ry tor fine books composes the third story, while the fourth is an arch which can be revolved so as to show either side. The desk, when placed into position, is 11 feet high. N ine hundred ieet ui'ccdar and 200 feet of pine were used in itsconstruc tion, and it consists of '4,109 dif ferent pieces, aud not a nail or screw can be found in it, none having been used. The weight is 2,300 pounds. The ornamental work is of the most ingenious design, being inlaid, and of' the finest polish. Two years were consumed by Mr. Schultze, assisted by his son Fritz, in building this remarkable piece of furniture. It was all done by hand, there being no machinery in Bore man, which is a place of only about three hundred inhabitants. Prof. Hayden, who, when he was West saw the desk, says that it is one of the finest pieces of work manship in the world, aid he is lending some assistance to Mr. Schultze in bringing it to Wash ington. An influential man named Beck has already gone to Wash ington to make preparations for the reception of the desk upou its arri val there. This is a strange country. The obstinacy with which it refuses to become bankrupt is a striking illus tration of the unreasonableness of the Angelo-Saxon race. Here we have been going down hill at brake neck sjteed with all the breaks off for twelve yean during which time the most ti arfttTand destructive war of modem times has raged within, our nation is richer now than it was hi 1800. In 1850 our aggregate wealth was7,00gBO0,00O,in 1800 it was MOOOmOOO, in 1870 it was SM.000.000.000. Our Demo cratic brethren tell us things would have gone differently if their party nau remained m power 6f. Lotus Democrat. Tlie Mormon conference was in full blast on the 7th. The attendance was large, lirighain Young delivered long discourse, the main point being against tlie Gentile sectarian schools being Introduced from Babylon. Urged motliers to educate their own children and not allow outsiders to interfere with the kingdom. He denounced their growing disinclination to pay tithing, as imperilling the salvation of the people. . . 1 A Pirof KperUwIea. The late General B going post haste to Ireland on some extraordi nary business which would not permit the incumbrance of a retinue, stopped to dine at the inn on the Chester road, and ordered a pair of ducks which he saw ready at the kitchen fire, up to his table. lhe tienerars desire had just been complied with when some country chaps came in, hungry as hawks, after the morning sport. They eagerly inquired what could be had to eat. Like a true Bon niface,the landlord enumerated what he had not, to apologize for what he had, and, among others things, mentioned the ducks which had been only a moment before served up tor the Irish gentleman's dim er "Irish jolitleman?" glibbingjy exclaimed one of tlie group. "I'll lay titty to five that he doirt know B from a bull s foot. Here, waiter, take my watch up to the jontleman, presenting my compliments, and request him to tell me what o'clock, it is." The General heard the message, took the watch, and with great temper returned his respeciS, with the assurance that as soon as he had dined he would endeavor to satisfy their inquiry. The jesters chuckled at the em barrassment which they imagined the iguoraut Irishman Was led into: sat down to regale themselves on whatever they could get ; but their jolity was presently distnrbed by the entrance of a military figure, who, with the politeness which is the peculiar characteristic of the army, advanced toward tlie tab'e where they were seated and present ed the watch. - "Gentleman," said he, "I wish to know its owner, as, from a message sent to me a little while ago, I pre sume he is short-sighted, and I have brought him a pair of spectacles," pointing to a pair of pistols under his arm, "to remedy the defect." Tlie joke was gone the jesters were silent. The General delibe rately put the watch in his fob, with a declaration that secured it to him forever : "Gentleman, I am sorry for in truding, as I find the owner is not among you; whenever he claims it he shall have it, tint never without a trial of tue sjie fades." At Rathdowney, in Ireland, the other day, one Kdward Dowling proclaimed that, being too good for this world, he would be translated at a certain hour from the public square of the town. Two thousand people got together to see Mr. 1 fowling go up. I le then told them that the fiery chariot would soon arrive to carry him off, but unfbrtu nately the vehicle didn't come. He waited and waited, and at last was compelled to announce that the ascension was indefinitely postponed. In all other respects the miracle was a perfect success. A man who snores was de scribed by his friend, the other day, as follows: "Snores ? Oh no, I guess not no name for it! When you wake up in the morning, ami find that the house you lodge iu has been removed half a mile during the night by the respiratory vehemence of a fellow-lodger, you may get some idea of that fellow's performance. His landlady gets her house moved back by turning his bed around." Always avoid the company in which you are willing to tell a coarse jest, because for you it is a doraoialieiug company. Grossness is never humorous, profanity is never admirable; and if your manner and speech once begin to ravel out on that edge, all its manliness and charm are in danger. The Best Htimalnat. There are times when the pulse lies low in the bosom, and beats low in the veins; when the spirit sleeps the sleep which, apparently, knows no waking, in its house of clay, and the window-shutters are closed, and the door is hung with the invisible crape of melancholy ; when we wish the golden sunshine pitchy darkness, and are very willing to fancy clouds were no clouds be. What shall make the heart beat music again, and the pulses dance to it through all the myriad-thronged halls in our house of life? What shall make the sun kiss the eastern hills again for us, with all his old awakening gladness, and the uight overflow with " moonlight, music, love, and flowers ?' Love itself is the stimulant, the most intoxicating of all, and per- torms all ttiese miracles ; but t is a miracle itself, and is not at the drug-store, whatever they say. The counterfeit is iu the market, but the winged god is not a money changer, we assure you. Lrjtoth ok Days. The days of summer grow longer as we go northward, and the days of winter shorter. At Hamburgh the longest day has seventeen hours and shortest seven. At Stockholm , the longest has eighteen and a half hours and the shortest five and a half. At St. Petersburg the longest has nineteen and a half hours and the shortest five hours. At Fin'aud the longest hastwenty one hours and a half aud the short est two aud a half. At Wandorbus, in Norway, the day lasts from tlie 21st of May to the 2d of July the sun not get ting below the horizon tor the whole time, but skimming aloug very close to it in' the north. At Spitsbergen the longest day lasts three months. Crr This Oitt. A tea made of chestnut leaves, and drank iu the place of water, is said to cure the most obstinate case of dropsy. Atea made of ripe or dried whortle berries, and drank in the placeof wa ter is a sure and speedy cure tor a scrofulous difficulty however bad. A tea made of peach-leaves is a sure cure for a kidney difficulty. Ham Tost.-When a ham is ready tor the table, take off as much of it as you require, and mince it up very linley. To one pint of mince, put two tables)oonfuls of cream, or fresh, rich milk. Roil it five minutes; pre pare well-buttered slices of toastaud spread tlie mince on them. Strew over this well-grated breadcrums, a little parsley, and some small pieces of bolter. Brown iu a quick oven, and serve hot To MakbCoooaxi-t Candy. Hasp very fine a sound, fresh cocoa nut, spread it on a dish and let it dry naturally tor three days. Four ounces will be sufficient tor a pound of sugar for most tastes, but more can lie used at pleasure. Boil tlie sugar, and when it begins to be very thick aiid white strew iu the nut; stir and mix it well, and do not quit it for an instant until it is fin ished. Keep the pan a little above the fire to prevent the nut from burning. It will not do hereafter to say of the dullest boy in the faitiilv that he can be the farmer, because he is unfit for any-thing else He must have all the elements of an earnest man in him, with good reasoning and analytical powers, and no slow blood or ill-directed brain; or else though he may make a poor lawyer, doctor, or politician, it is not at all probable he will succeed as a farmer. H1WOROVB. Good news for husbands Ladies were their dresses longer than they used to do. People who are always wishing for something new should try neuralgia. How do you know a house is often hungry? Because we see the chimney swallow flies. A Bloomiugton, 111., uncle lately held a young husband while the runaway bride was seized and spanked by the irate father. "Let the toast be, dear woman," as the man said to his wife when he wanted to eat it all himself. Some one, feeling that actions are better than words, has said : "We read of the Acts of the Apostles, but never of their resolutions." "There, now,'' cried little Bessie, the other day, mmaging a drawer in the bureau, "Grandpa has' gone to Heaven without his spectacles." A Western man at a "waver meeting" said, somewhat enviously: "Brother Lawson can sing better than I can, bnt by the grace of Heaven I can fiddle his shirt off. If you dou't look careflilly after the bits of your horse, you may one day be looking after the bits of your wagon. A certain clergyman who left a notice in his pulpit to be read by the preacher who exchanged with him, neglected to denote carefully a private postscript, and the congrega tion was astonished to hear the stranger wind up by saying : ,lYou will please come to dine with me at the parsonage." Carpenters frequedtly become not only bores, but also annoy peo ple with their old saws. A fop, in company, wanting his servant, calied out: " Wi.&eMhat blockhead of mine?" "On yonr shoulders, sir." The maddest man in Camden is Smith. 1 le wound up his clock reg ularly every, night for fifteen years, and then discoverd that it was an eight-day clock. "When Shakespeare wrote about 'patience on a monument,' did he refer to doctors' patients ?" "No." "How do you know he didn't?" "Because you always find them under a monument." 'I he Scarabajus, or that which we call the "tumble-bug," symbolized, in ancient days, the resurrection. The explanation is made because Western editors are using the com poti'id term as one of reproach in their little name-calling tourna ments. An Ohio girl, who was jilted by her lover, spoiled his beauty by taking her little pistol and shooting his nose off. Mrs. Minnie Myrtle Miller was well patronized in Ohio and ludiaua. It is estimated that between 900,. 000,000 and $1,000,000,000 of American railway bonds have been negotiated iu Germany. "I say, cap'n," said a little-eyed man as he landed from the steam, boat Natchez" I say, cap'n, this ere' ain't all." "That's all the baggage you brought on board, sir,'' replied the captain. "Well, see now, it's according to list four boxes, three chests, two Imiii' boxes, porlmanty, two hams, (one part cut) three ropes ofiuyoua, and a teakettle; but I'm dubersnm. I feel there's something short, though I've connted'em nine times,, and never took my eyes off ov'era while on board; there's something not right somehow ." "Well, stranger, the time's up. There's all I know of; so bring up yonr wife and five children out of the cabin, and we're off. "Them's um! darn it them's urn!" he exclaimed. "I knowed Pd forgot something."