L P Fisher
VOLUME V.
ALBANY, OREGON, APRIL 4, 1873.
NO. 81.
I
At the foot oruentrle' Trail.
When I was at Havard, my room
mate and bosom friend was Charley
Despard. Be was of very good
family, but not very well off, and
when our college career was con
eluded, and I took my seat in
Bates & Blog's office to court the
Goddess Themis, he went off to
push his fortune in the Golden
State.
Charley was a queer sort of a
fellow capable of great exertion,
but deplorably lazy, always making
good resolutions, and never carry
ing them into execution ; without
n atom of vice in his constitution,
nd yet always getting into scrapes.
Alter he went to California, we
corresponded pretty regularly, and
from his letters I learned that he
was experimenting in a new busi
ness every other week. Now he
was in a soft goods store in San
Francisco; then he ran a paper in
Denver; then he drove a stage be
tween Auburn and Forrest Hill;
then he was billiard maker in San
Francisco; and finally he told me
he was in for a big thing in gold
mines at Green Mat, and inclosed
his photograph to show how he
looked in his working clothes. I
could scarcely recognize my natty
friend ot former days in the lanky
figure pictured on the card board.
A slouch cap perched on the back
of his head, a wisp of handkerchief
tied around Ins neck, while hirsute
appendages of Samsonic dimensions
covered and encircled tbe place
where his face ought to have been.
But his big eyes were there, look
ing out just as true and honest as
ever, and so 1 knew it wasUhar ey,
even though he did wear big boots,
and carried a six shooter slung at
his side.
He stuck to the mines all Spring
and Summer, and his letters were
full of hope and radiant with suc
cess, until at once they stopped
suddenly, and nothing more was
heard of him. I was wondering
what had become ot him whether
he had come to grief and was
ashamed to write me bad news, or
whether a worse fate had overtaken
him in the wilds ot the far West,
and made inquiries of some of his
friends, but none of them could tell
me anything about him, so I was
fain to sit still hoping against hope
that he would turn up.
One evening I was all alone in
ray room, watching the flickering
light of tlie tire play over each
familiar article of furniture, too buy
to get up from a chair to light the
gas, when I heard a violent ring
at the door, and presently a figure
stood iu the doorway. At first 1
did not recognize my old chum, but
when I heard the accents of his
voice my fears and doubts all faded
away, and I welcomed him as one
come back from the dead.
"Why, Charley, is that you?
Where have you been ? When did
you get to the town ? How's things
in general ?"
"Yes, it is me. Got in from
California this morning. Things is
first-rate."
"Why, what a swell you are.
Why didn t you come right here ?
When have you been? I know
there's something up."
"Guess you're about right Hit
tt thar, pard. You liet."
And then he relapsed into silence, j
and demolished a lavender kid !
glove in trying to take it off.
"What's up, old man? Let's
have it. Go ahead."
"Well, I ain't right sure what's
up, I've struck a lead, and it
looked no end of good, and now j
when I take the dust to the store
it won't sell."
"Please to interpret ; and bear iu
mind that I am not so learned in
mining lingo as yon are."
"Well, then, here goes." But it
didn't go.
"Hard up? You don't look
like it."
"No. Got half a million to my
credit with ( lews?"
"Woman?'
"Yes, and she's the best little
woman iu the world at least I
thought she was." And here the
other kid glove burst up iu a most
decided manner.
"Now, see here ; you have come
to a professional man, and if you
want solace and advice make a
clean breast of it, and tell me all
your story.
"Well, then, you know my last
letter to you was from Green Flat,
the one with the photo.
"Yes, I got it. There you are,
over the mantle-piece, in the cos
tume of the period."
"That mine turnel out a real
good thing. We washed out about
twenty thousand in two months,
and then we got rid of the concern
to a Friscan company at a million
and a half, so I am pretty happy
that way."
"Glad to hear it. But about her
ladyship."
"Well, when the thing was done,
and the money at the b irst Nation
al, we all went off to the bay, and
Irish Ned gut sbot one night. He
lived just long enough to make his
will, and split his share betweeu me
and old Tom Norris."
"I regret the untimely departure
of Irish Ned, but I congratulate
you that be was able to dispose ot
his property satisfactorily. But the
lady?"
" I'm a coram to her. There was
a lot of legal fooliu' after Ned's
death about the inquest and the
probate of his will, and I got tired
of loafing at 'Frisco, so I made
tracks up country and had a look
around the Flat. That was rather
worse iu the way of poison, so one
morning I went and took Bucker
out ot the corral, hitched him up,
got on top, and set off tor a slash
ing gallop. All of a sudden I took
a notion I'd never seen the Yosem
ite valley, and, as it wasn't much
of a ride from the Flat, I went
light on. Backer and I got along
first-rate, and we were down to the
foot of the Gentries trail just after
sundown two days afterward."
"Hare the romance commences.
Go on, I begin to see light "
"There wasn't much to be seen
there, I can tell you. Those high
cliffs and those big trees cut it
rough on sunshine. Why, I nearly
rude over her before I saw what I
was doing."
"Her?"
"Yes; she was lying in a bundle
in the middle of the road, and only
Bucker shied or we'd have given
her hoofs and no mistake."
"Her? Who? Was it an in
toxicated Injun squaw?"
Hera Charley burst into cursory
remarks which I shall not repeat,
and then went on :
"No, the darlingest, dearest
little atom of feminine humanity
that ever claimed the assistance of
mortal man."
"Bravo I Encore! So you did
not pass by on the other side, like
the man who foil among thieves ?''
"No, I got off and lied Bucker
to a tree, and then picked her up."
' What did she say ? This is be
coming dramatic."
"She didn't say nothing. She
was in a faint, and all over mud."
"I pardon your grammer. But
what did you do?"
" Well, I took a chaw, and thcu
I went down to the river and tilled
my hat with water, and splashed it
right in her face."
"What did she say to that?"
"She said 'Oh !"
"Don't wonder much. What
next?"
'Well, i thought she might have
got to much water, so I poured
some whisky down her throat."
"Spiritual consolation for tem
poral misfortune. How did she
take it?"
"She coughed like fits, and then
sal up straight and looked up."
"What next?" .
"She said 'Oh, dear,' and tried
to get up, but she couldn't do it,
and then she screamed and fell
back."
"Pleasant. How did you proceed?"
"I talked civil to her. I'd a
most forgotten how, but my Sun
day go-to-meeting manners came
back wonderfully, and I tried to
persuade her I was not a Hood'
lura."
"in which I presume you suc
ceeded."
"Yes. After a while she put up
her back hair, and. then told me
that she had tumbled off her
horse and sprained her ankle, but
didn't know how to get to Hutch-
mgs' Hotel."
"Charming situation. You en
acted the rok ot ministering angel?"
'"You bet. Whipped out my
nowie, and had her boot and stock
ings in tatters in two minutes.
Took the sleeves of my shirt, and
bound a cold water bandage on
Then kicked Bucker in the ribs,
and when he was getting his breath
hoisted her up, and so we pro
ceeded along the trail until we got
to Hutching, where we round the
house in a muss, and papa awful
skeered.
"So there is a papa in the busi-
ness?"
"Yes; good old fellow, too; was
tremendously obliged to me, and
ottered me some com."
"The reward of merit."
"I got riled at that, showed him
my six-shooter, and asked him if he
wanted to insult me, whereupon he
apologized like a gentleman and we
all had a drink."
"Including her ladyship."
"No, confound you, the women
folks had taken her off."
"Proceed with papa."
"We had another drink, and got
talking, ami I found out that he
was lom Kemble s father."
"What! Tom that was in our
year! lbat delicate little fellow
you used to make such a pet of?",
"Tliatu ol.nnt it Pvr rl.m
had petered out, and the old gen
tleman and his daughter had taken
a trip West."
'The family acquaintance facili
tated friendship?"
"I suppose it helped. At any
rate I stuck to them, and we went
around together, and Nellie and I
(thats her name, iSellie Kemble)
got nuts, and I spoke out to the
old man and showed him my hand,
and told him hearts were trumps,
but that 1 could spot diamonds if
I'd a mind."
"He told me to come up to New
York and he'd see about it."
"Provident paternal. So you
came up, accordingly ?"
"Got in this morning. Went
and got fined up square, and started
right off to Gramercy Park."
"lore received with outstretched
hands, and open arma?"
"Missed the post that time
Sent up my card, but they'd gone
to a matinee at the opera."
"Where you followed without
delay?"
"Straight off. That fellow at
the office owes me some change, for
I gave him a fifty and didn't wait
for my stamps."
"Trices are high, but not so bad
as fifty."
"1 ran around the bousa until
they wanted to put me out. Said
l was mad.'
"A conclusion uncharitable iu the
extreme, but pardonable under the
circumstances."
"We were having a talk about
that when the people came out, and
they let me go, and I waited to see
the crowd pass, and Jack, when
she and her father came along, I
felt all ot a heap, and just stood
still and looked right at them, and
6he looked right straight iu my face
and never stopped, and she's forgot
me. and I'm lioing back to Cali
fornia." Here poor Charley cov-
ered his tace with his hands and
broke down.
"Hold on, did you get shaved
to-day r
"Pretty much all over."
'The tonsonal operation may
have altered your identity.''
He lifted his face nn. and ao-loam
ot hope flashed over his features.
i took down the photograph and
led him to the glass.
"See there. Look on this picture
and on tnat."
"I don't think I shall go
back to the Flat to-morrow. What
shall I do?"
Interval for reflection.
"Was your address on the card?"
"Yes, St. Nicholas."
"Just vou stav here to-nicrht.
and we'll have a chat, and see if
they don t call to-morrow or write.
Perhaps there is a letter there now."
"By Jove, your'e right. Let's
go and see, right off."
"Do take it quietly. I don't ex
pect any such thing."
"But I do. Will you come, for
if you wou't I'll go alone."
Up he got, and nolens volena, I
was obliged to accompany him, for
I feared that he miirht do some
thing rash in his frenzy. We ar
rived at the St. Nicholas, and sure
enough a letter awaited him, with
N. K. monogramized on the fold.
tie opened it, and read as follows:
"Wednesdav evening. Gramercv
Square : My Dear Mr Despard :
W ( 1 t
i am so glad you have come.
Could it have been vou I saw at the
Academy? It was not a bit like
you, and yet I think it was. Please
call soon. Ever yours,
"Nei.uk Kbmbj.k."
Charlev veiled. "She sierns her.
"
self 'Ever vours.'" and wanted to
shout for the crowd ; but a happier
thought struck nun, and before I
knew what he was ud to he leaned
i i
on to the box of a carriage and
went up Broadway in the same
style he used to steer his team
among the stumps and boulders of
the California wilds. I followed
him in another with the coachman.
and in due time found Charley's
trap in charge ot an astonished
darkey at the abode of his ladv
love.
I came awav then. Below vou
4
have the latest news from the scene
of action :
Despard Kemule At the
residence of the bride's father, Jan
uary 16, by Rev. George Newton.
D. D., Charles Despard, late of
Green Flat, California, to Miss
Nellie Kemble. onlv daughter of
f j - -
Thomas Kemble, of Gramercy Park,
ft ew York.
Masquerade weddings are the
last feature of connubial fun in In
diana. The minister is masked,
the bride is masked, ditto the groom,
attendants and guests. The groom
trusts to luck, and sometimes finds
he has married the wrong woman,
but trivial occurrences do not make
sadness in that State.
A Tennessee belle lately punished
a suitor who sought to gain her
hand through false aspersiou of his
rival by going with him to the
altar, and then responding "No!"
at the most critical moment, and
completing the ceremony with the
calumniated one.
..
An Indiana paper has already
hoisted its ticket for 1870. It is
Oliver P. Morton tor President,
and Benjamin F. Butler for Vice;
President.
ii (mohoi .
A man over-bored An editor.
An unsatisfactory meal A do
mestic broil
A "young shaver" A barber'
baby.
An Idaho miner lately fell several
hundred feet out of a "bucket"
without kicking it
Boys are like vinegar : the more
"mother" there is in them, the
sharper they become,
A pious young man paid $118
for a penwiper at a church fair in
Brooklyn, New York, recently ; and
though he smiled sweetly on the
girl as she took the money, his room
mate pays he cussed like Captain
Kidd that night after ke retired to
his couch.
A San Francisco widow keeps
the skull ot her deceased husband
in a glass case. She once remarked
to a friend who was viewing the re
mains: Alas! how often have 1
banged those bones with a broom
stick. I am sorry for it now.
An attorney, in Dean Swift's
company, once asked him. "Sup
posing, doctor, that tbe parsons and
the devil should litigate a cause,
which nartv An vAn tliintr urnulil
gain it?' "The devil, no doubt,"
repnea the dean, "as be would have
all the lawyers on his side."
A school girl in one of the rural
districts of Pittetield. Mass.. was
overheard trying to convince a
schoolfellow that she liked him bet.
ter than she did some other urchin
of whom he seemed jealous. "Of
course I like you better than I do
mil," she said, tor don't 1 miss
words in my spelling lesson on pur
pose, so as to be down to the foot
of the class where you are!''
Punch savs: Heir Profwr
"Iss it not a sohdrainoh ting laties,
dat de Latin race ga not asuire
the Enklish pronouncy-ation ? I
had choot dis momend bardet from
an Idalian ohentleman who baa
lifed in London almoste as long as
hav dvendv-vife eeerrs and
voot you pelief it? He shacks
Enklish vite a sdhrong voreigu in-
donation. How do you agound
vor a zo eggshd ra-ortinarv zeenrom-
slulanzasdat?"
A writer on monkeys tells us a
storv of one ot these female unde
veloped species ot humanity, who,
having lost her infant, adopted a
kitten. One day, the kitten
scratched this affectionate baboon,
who, much astonished at being
scratched, immediately examined
the kitten's feet and, without more
ado, bit off the claws. And yet
some people do not believe in Dar
win's theories.
He had been keeping St Pat
ricks day and was homeward bound.
While going up Union street bill,
working long longitudes rejoicing
under the influence of about 1,000
drops of oil of joy, he ran against a
hydrant which be in his befuddled
condition mistook for a little nig.
"Skuse me, sonnie" said be patting
the hydrant paternally; "I didn't
run yerdown because yer was black.
Grow up (hie) and be a useful man.
Imitate (hie) my example. Here's
quarter for yer (hie) spick it up."
And be went on with a lighter
heart and the satisfaction that he
had made one poor soul happy.
"Pa," said Billy to, bis father,
"what is meant by 'chip of the old
block "Why my son, do you
ask the question?" "Because 1
was in End field this morning, and
told them gentlemen that while
hunting I saw fifty squirrels up one
tree. They kept trying to make
me say forty-nine, and because 1
wouldn't say so, tbey said I was a
'chip of the old block.' " "Well, my
son, they only meant that you was
smart and honest like your pa. You
can go to play now'