VOLl'MK V.
ALBANY. OREGON. DECEMBER 27,
NO. 17.
. Poem I'l'osn tlie (senium
When I was young and tender, too
I had to mind and Imd to do
Whatever inotiicr bade inc.
She used to have a walnut stick
lilt;, and evervhodtr look at Mm with
indignation and disgust.
What did he ttminp for?" raid old
Brown.
"Jle struck the table bee;! use he had
struck .1 keno," said Bob. '-But come,
old gentleman, let's sit down and buv
wij. i .. . , i ' gelltle
1,1 ""' " "",iMpitcK- .i....... .,.,. ,,.
And that is where she had me. I ed table awl Bob explained that each
cam cost twenty-tivc cents, and that
yon might buy as many as you pleased.
A man whom Unh culleil "Pi trtrv
-
eame up, and Bob told old Brown to
buy two cauls, which eost him fifty
cents. Bob Iwiglit two himself.
Now there were on eaeb card four
horizontal rows, each having on it live
figures. The only figures used in
kena range from 1 to 90 but of course
tlieytftiiii?)t,'illbeoiio:iee.ml. rtliaiv-
peued that on one of the cards old
brown hail bought there were these
numbers on the upper row 5, 14 30,
Oft, fit) ; with the rest ot his numbers
we are not concerned. Bob explained
,!...( Ir i i.i .... . v :
,j uiuni ut; iDiuu cmer live milliners ill
And when, to make the iiiatterstmlgltt, i any row with buttons he would get
When older grown, and sjnite a bean
V 11111)111 fll. ltt.l! I I,. I ...M1.
.....v.. i. 11 t., I l-71l 11' l.llllll
A Miss priseelht Cadmy :
And with the hull) of .smile- and nods
J fell in love at torty rod-
And that is where she had me.
VVheti I wiis older, say sixteen.
I thought it time to have a Queen,
And a 4ed her if sheM wed trie.
She said she did not much object.
Or words to something that effect
And that i; where she had nie.
I went dow n to negotiate
Atlairs with Colonel Cadmy.
I le said he did not care to sell,
lie told me that I might go to well
That was where he had me.
1 drowned my sorrow in the cop,
ITiltU I got my dander up
I eonkl not have been madder.
When she proposed that we lie one.
In spite of Pa the tiling was done
And that is where I bad her.
Two lovely children on my knee,
I'm proud to Uy lxdongs to me
Tliat is. to me and madam ;
For when we left our native sod
We spent a year or two abroad
Awl tliat Is where we had 'em.
thl Man ill-own EI.i Keno.
A procession of antique baboons
marching down a street would not have
ittracteifii!-e Interest than old man
lirowualwui did. so patriarchal and
innocent wi in nuen. on one oe-
the not.
"But I don't wan't a pot," said old
Brown : -fifty cents won't buv a good
pot."
'rve known it to buy a fifty dollar
pot." said bob. "A pot is a pool."
"What is a pool ?" asked.old Brown.
At this moment "I'iggv" aunui.ieed
that the pool was J7 7$, and that the
OAME WOIM1 lll-ciN.
'PIJ. .I....I.... 1 .. . ...
j in-uc.uer oc",iii to uini ine nottie
round, and tlie balls began to drop out.
: "Fifty-six." "Sixty-nine" and here
! old Brown with his spectacles, on. put
a button 'on Number W. "Forty-due,"
"Eighty." "Thirty-two." and all
around the room the men were eagcr
Iv watchiny their cards, imttinw ilmvn
buttons and listening to the nuinbers
as they were called. "Thirty." and
down went anotlmr ot Brown's Init
tons. ain4 soon itflcrhe had covered 5.
itO. (ill (is. and Bob, wiio was getting
excited, whispered, "All you want is
14 ; if he calis 14. yon must call -Keno
on the top row.' " Old Brown never
ook his eye off the card, and gat like
a statue, holding his button up in the,
air. "Fourteen' said Ihe dealer and
KKxb.'M.niirintNjw.''
by constantly" draining Che ten nnr
cent from the' pool."
"Why do you play, then ?" said old
Brown.
"Because I love the excitement."
.said Bob. "and besides, I am nrettv
1 I . rm . .... . . .
mchv. i lie o i rule r.r vn n t ,
adoilarand came out fifteen dollars
ahead."
"It seems to me." said old Brown,
"that your practice, young man, is
very different from
yon; tiikomiss."
'J'he game was all this- while going
on and kenos being called, and the
players were absorbed in the cards.
Old Brown saw the scientific players,
who always buy six cards, and study
out combinations of numbers. Bob
laughed at these players, and said it
was ali liii-L- 'I'l... n.AtMil nflu..f r,e
- "IWI'H .UJVl 111 UIC
game engaged the old gentleman's at-
mmon. "uw i you tnniK,." said he,
it is a pity to see so many young men
wasting i Imir time and money? "There
i- in.ii vouug i nan witn tne reu neck
tie, and thii red eyes, and a red look
altogether don't you think keno Is
an injury to him?''
"No." replied Bob. "nothing can
hurt him now. lie's past beinjr
hurt." , 6
"Tb.-il inn lm " ani,l M v-...
, ..... . vfiu III Mil J.
"but the inllueuce of these kenos must
be bad as a rule. 1 can understand
how young fellows can become faeina
t d itli it, and by winning a pot once
or twice a week be led on to wastin"
thousands of dollars a vear. Wliwj I
won tliat p it myself was quite inter
ested" said the old gentleman, blush
ing like a girl, "and tlwught 1 was
going to make my fortune at once.
I see now the mistake
MgHshmen to play a game of cricket,
Just outside or Calais. Such active
exercise, and siwh hot weather, natur
ally made everybody th'.rstv, and it
was not long ere all the party's drink
ables had vanished in the way that
drinkables Msnornllv dism
Miirsty tuen on a hot Summer day.
I'lie game was a long one, and well
contested, and bv-aud-by everybody
got thirstier than hefoM. Thni'i- Mi.
gust at finding nothing at band to
quench thirst, and no place near by
where quencliables could be obtained,
wa i loudly expressed. Even-laxly de
clared tliat it was impossible 'to go on
with the game without something to
drink, yet to give up the game was
not to I fliono-bt nf i.v v rt;.,..
bold. ' ''
ni;,,.i i.. ...
luii.K-uy, no. Willi IIH poodle
named ZoilZOIl.) hail lieen n.l!.l InnL-
er-onofthe mime, now stenneil fin-.
ward, and as some of the cricketers
had doubtetl his stories of the (xiodle's
intellectual 0peitv, offered to bet
them, one and all, that he could send.
Zoikoii back to the cltv, and get.some
thing to drink for them, and that the
dog would not only get the refresh
ment, but would bring it Ixick all by
himself," and simply on his mere ver-
ll:l I IIKf Pllcl l.ll..:
"Done?" cried every cricketer at
once, with English faith in lietting.
IMhlfrJu- j..jfl,l 7.,,., iil... i
SJ1M6VII, I hi; -jyir
UUIIIU.
"Sit up, sir. when a gentleman
speaks to you ."'
Zouzon sat up. hxiking as grave and
dignified as could 1h.
"Now, gentlemen." said llling,by,
"1 will whi-jier his instructions in
lingsby. with a look of Intense mii
prise. a he,pulled out a package wrap
ped in paper. "My silver enp and
corkscrew. I left them on the table
but forgot t0 tell Zouzoii to put them
in the boot, and he has done It of his
own iiccom.
The cricketers cheered wildly ; Zou
Kui jumping about delighted Illings
by opened the bottle and drank to the
ixwdle's health. So did the cricketers.
'Zouzon is dead long ago. niuigsby
is somewhere in Omaha or Nebraska,
or thereabout. Let Darwin ponder on
this true narrative.
HI MOROI'IS.
j1j.VjI.ih tn hio .a..,i. cllllllilered nnr. o il ilrown
... . "i.7ivi v.. Ill- IIIIMIUI. , '
soineij(UV MjqX'il lyin on Clie CKS0 "-""i i ni.me micii a iii-ss aooui 11.
Jiard thin he drove ihe fork half way wly fellow at the next table. '
down bis rlim.if mid vni.. ft.Jt i "But I've trot a keno." said old
down hi-s throat, and a voice cried
" lij. dadd.V, when did you come
to town ?" , . . ' I
Old Brown turned round and Ixdicld
i very nice young man. with a dia
mond pin and a waxed moustache,
who grasped him by tlie hand and
seemed as though he never would jget
done shaking it.
"Don't you know me Smithy ?" said
the lively youth.
"My ua'uie is not Smithy, friend."
said old Brown; "my iiamV is Brown.
I cannot at present recall you."
"Brownv. I ine.in." said the young
man; "why. don't you know your
own nephew?"
"Whatji ait; you Sarah's sou?"
iQmmm, that's what's the mat
ter." "Is it nossihle that Ibis h Hnh
'hy. Iib. Iiowareyoii!? how is your
mother:-"
The old man was delighted to find
his nephew, and insisted on some more
oysters. They walked Hp the street
together, and old Brown was v.erv
eager to know when his sister hm'l
onie to town. The young man in
formed him that. Sarah bad been at
home all summer, and was keeping a
keno shop, and doing very well. Old
Bl'OWII Sttid be Witnlil ini iin.l lm,-
some kenos i lit- next dav.'biit Bob said
be was going to invest (hat night, and
that Brown had better come a'ong.
AM) SO IIK Wi.
They stopped at, the door of a lnie
nnn.ii eineo X-riectl.V unrK. auu J4O0 j
rapped, when tlH-door was opened at
once, and tbev passed up a flight of!
st iirs. Here Mil Brown's iPbonUicd
eves felt ininn Inrtrti i-.-om Ii.hmI. ;
somel (arX'ted and fnruished; with a
reat uunilx'r of round tables. On
raised platform at O'U side sat a man
.ii a casing- s . uesis with nioudv m
Brown -a keno on the top row."
"Well, you needn't rub it in. dad
dy. I've bee" waiting here with two
cases."
"Mliaf did lie want wiili twocises?"
said the old gentleman.
"Why. to take the nnr Willi. Star '
vou ought to be in bed. An old man
like you has no business running
around aud stealing pots this time of
night."
Old Brown shook with indignation
At this accusation, tnt Bob called his
ftteutiou-Um puV of' ivory "chips"
which "-Piggy" put before him, and
told him that when he wanted to go.
tne casnier would redeem them at a
dollar each. lie bought some more
card; and continued playing, but every
time he had four figures covered In a
row, or a "case. '.' somebody ulse would
thump the table and the pot was .'one.
Ibu oifl gentleman (twisted on buvaiir
a dozen cards at a time, and its lie
couldn't keep runofso many nuinbers,
(he kwi all he had won and "more, and
become disgusted. ft stopped play,
big and so did Boh, who was coin,
pletely "broke." as he said.
Old Brown now surveyed the scene
with interest and move inltirliiunl
eyes. .
"It SeeilH to llle." lie tuiil tli.it !.)
bu-iness of selling keno is very initcb
like gambling." , , , j
WWU." said Bob; "ixttv gain
bling n-duced to peqxitim' iiiotiou."
"fo ymi tell me tluit Sarah keeps a
gambling bou-e:'"
"Bother Sar di ."' said the youth;
"i made a mistake.
"Then you are not my, liepjHtus."
said old Brown: -vive me vour liin.1
-1 am very glad of It."
Tlie young man who was. good na
ture enough, then began to explain to
the old gentleman the ixauties ot the
game. Jle told him that ie v;is fait
KKXO DON'T PAY.
But bless me! four o'c!x,'k .' My s0n
John will think I've been murdered."
They left the room, aud Bob walked
down tlie street with 1dm. At the
door they met a couple of policemen.
"Whatare tiny here for V' whisper
ed old Brown.
"To protect the nlavers." said Knb.
"What ! isn't the game of keno con
trary to law ?"
"Ves," said tlie youngnran, but the
law is contrary to the practice, and
though every faro bank keno shop,
lottery office and gambling house in
Ihe city is well known to the authori
ties, there is not one. from the Mayor
down, who interferes with them.
Now and then an example is made, of
3UIIH- mior ll(V 01 !L 1'Rm inr hut:
- .. -v., ...,v
Zouzoii 's ears, and after he is cone. I
will tell Voil What I ili mtcil him tn
do." "
"Agreed ."'
llliugsby stoopedidownand whisper
ed to the poodle, and tlien patting
him on the head said, sliarply :
"Oo!"
Off started the dlw. at a mntrl mi
straight for Calais.
"Gentlemen," said llliugsby, "I
ordered Zouzoii to go to mv rooms in
the hotel ask (be hmril.'inl inr ti...
key ; go in my IxHlroom.; he would
find .1 liottb. of 1
tretafcfe ; l. Sftri jmtlt in one oTffiy
www, niui-ii no win nun intneconier.
and bring tliem, boot aud bottle, to
me here. '
An uproarious hurst of derisive
laujjlifier greetetl this aiinoiuicement.
" Will vou double tlie her. ? " snlil n.
,linsby. "Yes. yes .'"' said they, one
IVhen (.'liarles Lamb visited tlie Ca
thedral at Litchfield his guide told him
that three men once dined upon tlie
bp of the steeple. They must have
been very sharp set." said' Lamb.
A Dutchman getting excited over
an eloiieiuent of a married woman,
gave his opinion thus ; " If my wile
runs avay mit anodder man's vife, 1
shake him out of his nroeches, if she
pe mine fadder, mine fiot ."'
A widower who had never quarreled
with his wife said that the last day of
his marriage was as happy as the first.
Anotlmr widower said tlie last day of
his marriage was tlie happiest.
The Bridgeport man attempted- to
nunc ui cuuuren airaici oi ore oy
scorching the ends of their fingers,
but his wife tx)k him and sothorougii
1) toasted a much larger surface thai
helms taken no comfort since, lie
"imts to know what is to become of
the social fabric i. family discipline i
to be nnderm"uiediu this way.
The other day a little boy who had
cut his finger ran to his mother and
cried : " Tie it tin. tie It oniric. fnr Mm
juice is all running out!'' The same
urchin, on one of the late excessively
hot days, appealed to his mother for
help, saying: "Ma, do fix me, for
I'm leaking all over!"
gambling in Philadelphia is alugeth- pud all.
er as saie as tliat of selling stock." t The distance to Calais was Mousider-
ben n il I'.i-i.u-n ... 1.. ).... i I ..i.i... . . ... . .
ijie, uin. ..oiiini nepi steauuy aim
bis son John bad been at all the sta
tion houses in the city looking for him,,
aud thelainily greatly worried. They
asked him where he had been, aud he
Slid he had been buying pots. He
would give no other satisfaction, and
they still think that the old gentleman
was ou a tearful jamboree. When he
went to bcil lie dreamed all night of
nine long rows ol figures ail covered,
with buttons, exreptlng C. which
never would get filled, anil that Bob
kept saying to him "Old man, it's m
bard ease."
PrcHj UocmI Story About n Do,
.- " " """". .game, jie uuii nun tliat It v;is
iroutoflmn. and ahothel' was mvfrling enough, aud that It was a n.attei
- f "" "i ""uunii nuuic. mil. ui
lyhlch, from time to time. droiiixsJ lit-
tie white marbles with numbers on
rliem. which b , called out. Neartvall
the tables were nooupieil bv gentlemen,
who had bufore them carils with fig
ures njxm theiu. and piles of ImttoiH
such as old Br wn wore on hlslireei li
e -. 'iliey raised their hemls to look at
at okl Brown, and then
KlVCTi:i TUMif KYKS
q:i the cards. All was silent except
the rattle of tlie balls in the bottle, and
the calm voice of the man, saving.
" 'i'vveuty-seveur'
HEurhtv-thivi. " "Vniuiu... tin
MiulX. J.. .1. i i " luurownuiiii UKii you uiay lose. Tlie
sudden somclipiJy thumpttl t(ie tn-, (MuidMorhs the capital of .Uw.players
mere lllek wlin uiiii II.. .....s.i .1...
... iy..,,v vi V .T.IIII UIU
hoiiiH bad no interest t the winner,
as its profits were made by taking ten
jar cent out ol even pot. But Ik'
showed how tlie chances were against
AM HMU.K I'l.AVWt.
"I have seen," he said, "one man
win iwols of twenty, thirty-five
and forty dollars In an hour, and tlie
same man buy sixty dollars worth of
cards in a night and win nothing.
Nobody can make anything by play-
ilur keno. tlmim-li iillflnlml.. ilu.i.....i,',..
by tlie idea that the may. The hmr.'
Cl nun mini; Millill ymi P"iy. lIHf
more verwiu mn you inay lose, rue
An Knglish friend of tlie wriU'r,
Wllrt resided hUlllP vaa In Tnn
traveled, when a vnunu' man i 11 l-'l-l 11, ...
lie became the purchaser of a poixllc
dog. belonging to a non-commissioned
officer nf an infintry regiment- station
ed iu. Paris. The dog was the pet of
the vrlwic coiimiaiid. tl-oni its great
intelligence, and the uianvaumslugas
well us remarkahletricksitx;rforineil,
i lll lt'nir!LI .1 ... ...Il.l
..... .-,.' ii. ikiii. 111111 li- ilfV, Ni4U,
jolly voling man ot foitut. saw the
n.. i.i - .. . ' .
iioihob miow our a iigiitediMiKHeevery
timeltwas held to his nose. John
Bull like, lie l terinhied to- own, tlutt
dog if he had to box the whole regi
ment. It was with greatditHcnttv that
ir wiini iiHiiuv me sergeain io iigre'
to iart with the dog, so afraid was he
ot the auger of the regiment, and it
was only by offering a very large price,
half in advance, ami Iml
ery, that the Kuglislmwn carriedi his
nn'iiif .....1 I. ..1 ..!. ..... ... . .
i'--iii, mm ii in hi nail -mine nine inr
the reiriineiit hi Wru p.i.Ij ii.
fioodle eonid he transferred.
To describe all the strange and won
derful tricks thiii till
could perforni all taught their pa&bv
over one tliou-and siiidiers In fiielr
llOUrS of leisnin lllirliin. tirn ni. Ann
years that lie served with them would
ne usniess. tor they woukl not be- be-
lieyisl, Jfauy a time during tlx; war,
the evening camp fire lias beau imnle
ITIV lllld livek- hv flio atavliiA ni. V.ia.
r: i . . "i , ' . . . .
rapidly on, and prosuutiy was seen no
A . . .
more, iier resting awiniit, sue crick
eters resumed their game determined i
to finish it as soon iu miuililiMiinl n,..n
go back to tlie city for an early dinner !
Illul nil III i- .i'S... .jl il.l... i. .,..l...l.l.. .
...... p.,.., j v. .v - ,i i un --i , -i jiu-i.(,!,.i lie-, i
They put not the slightest faith in II
lingsby's dog ; Ins-burgundy was a j
invili.
Presently, in the bight of the game,
llliugsby exclaimed. "There lie
comes.'" Every player stopixxl and
looked down the broad, straight, level
avenue leading to. the city, there
was a dark snot dlinlr visible In tbe
distance. " Two to one it's not tbe
piKxlle.'" exci'liinied one cricketer.
" Done said llliugsby beginning, to
get excited.
It was soon certain tbsh Hm lihii.b
spot was a black dog. and tliat tlx
black dog was Zouzoii and. being a
Wg. strong fellow, it was seen, that lie
Charles Lamb, one afternoon, in
returning from a dinner party, took
his seat in a crowded omnibus, when
a stout gentleman subsequently looked
in and politely asked, "All "full in
side?" f "1 don't know how It may be. sir',
with tlx) other passengers." answered'
lamb, " but that last piece of pie did
the bn-iness for me ."'
A mulatto lrirl. In atteinnt.hnr In
cross tlie track of the Louisville and
Nashville Kailroad.. recently, was
struck by the cow-catcher and thrown
back upon the pilot.. She was found
to be Unhurt, and remained there qui
etly enjoying the ride until the next
station Was reached, when she jumped
oil' and exclaimed, "Dls Is' jes de
place I wanted to come to !"
A boy got fooling around bis father's
horses u.itil finally one of them put
his font in his face. He was carried'
in and the-doctor sewwl up his lips and
bandaged his eyes, ami ponltieed his
Cheeks lint ho puffed up and laid abed
a number of days; and when he began
to get ..i iitile better he called for ft"
looking-glass, and cas.lug his eyes
upon it his countenance fr. "1'athef.
(lb you think I will ever be as pretty
again ?"' No. my sou," the old man
replied: "you'll never lie so pretty
again, but you-'ll know a darned sight
was holding his head uiiusutlly. high
..w. ..va,..,i iim ut.m niinftit in i
ill the air. ami' tbaf In. uin-lmi
oiyeet m UN mouth.
lie na tlie ixiot :' exclaimed
one
II-
iiiigsnusiiiipirtuginsnngeruitituuipli.
"1 wo to one there's nothing, in the
lxot ."' slwuted' an excited cricketer.
"Done. shouted Illlngsby, who
would liave lx;t any anrount on his tii
voritc. Zouzoii came slowly but proudly up
to his master. Zouwin held the Ixxit
in Ids mouth, on.m tell llml I,.. I....1
accomplished at remarkable feat. He
evidently foresaw Darwin, and ex
claimed to liimsulf : How is that for
The cricketer were dumb, llliugsby
took the lxx$ from Zouzoii aud held it
up. Aumigry frown gathered on his
brow. Snlpkl dog : he lias forgotten
the ImrgriHly."' The cricketers laugh
ed iu tilmuplu Zonzon still crmii'heil
at his master's feet, looked up aud
whined repnxiehfiillv. Illingdiy put
his iiaud iu rtie boot.' OhoT" lie ex
cialmed. a smile lighted un his comi
feniuice, " hure is the hirttle afterall."
AtuiKie inlletl out a bottle ot wine.
un! miTKeiers stnrtea. t lx) umv.
.1. ,1 r J . W W of lib" poodle dog.. gundy, as Pin a living man !" said II
l lie InckUjuts yere wxnic aixl woialer- liugsby, delighted 1 know it by this
fli . ml tiieir eflkt hlgutened. bv bis marhvl put on tlw label this momW"
In mltaUu maimer of telling tlieiui. riliwfWtetersexainiiieil the bottle wie
un one occasion, ot a hot Smium-ir btme, in astraiislied s(ienoe. Zou-.
day, our Knglish friend (whom wo- nm whined aixl wagged hU tall.
wui.ii MJisbyj went with,othW Hv'ilo!,wliat'.s tWiT" exchUuwd IhJ
more
A lady made a complaint to Fred
erick the Great, King of Prussia :
"Vour Majesty." said she, " my lius
band treats me badly." That's none
of my badness." 'replied the King.
" But he speaks ill of vou." said the
lady. "That."'replieil'iHe, "is none
of yam business."
An old man who believed that
"what was to lie would." but who
was very particular to have his son
with him when he went among the
Indians, was once disappointed in one
of ids usual trips lieeause his sfnu" was
not within reach. Tantalized by the
suggestion that 1m "would not die t'll
his time came." and that the -want of
his pin made no matter: "But,"
said lie. "suppose I slxmld meet an
Indian whoe Mine came. I woukl not
like to Jfe wititotit my gun."
I am . lover reject U Pray
wliat shall I do? Slml I "-shuffle
this mortal;" like some lovyers irue';
-I. Olr no; for such actions make
waste of good blood, .lint keep up
your courage your chance is still
gixxL. Remuster your fo'rres. yrur
colors uulurl. and an forrii tntlu eon-
niuest of some other girl !
A'dlntlh man rei'ently went to law
wifh' a deaf man. The latter, of
course, was the - ;f'-eii(klut. .
'Witty are still growling -about tlw
weallx at the centers of. observation. .
'rhey invarklily speak of, tlw mean,
temperature.
A Memphis mixt defines advertjs--ibg
to be a "blister wliiirfi down otn-WBNI"
A