ALBANY REGISTER.
DUVO& ETC.
Murder in Allmiiy
"t ASNKVKl! VKTBKKS KNOWN, AMI
. 1 no ihmitcntn of it"' present.
Oca tli
U a Hllna which someMme must la-fall
..cryson and itailjtlttOTOt'ttW Hniniin lam
ily;knd,vct. At llic MW'dajr,
vtmrlifc.it disease lay liis vile hands
wain voti, there if mill "ft uItii Intiitoad,
by tt'fiU'li von nmy i"- owtorwltopprwcl
health, and prolong your 'lays to a Miracu
lous XU-llt.
SOW ?
JJjr Calling m
K. V. EEIHX & SOX,
With n werlntlnn, whore you can Imve
i ...,.,.,,,n,,i,.a i,v inn' exno.ricnced in dial
inirllunlr,lintt. Also, constantly on hand
ii "oni assortment of fresh uinljltonl
medicines, chemicals, mints, oils, dyi
.mil's, trusses, etc. Aontn for llio
C-lebriitcit i nfe We Beiuedy,
ir, Oregon Khomnutle t'ure : Dr. 1). .layno
.ft Sons' medicines, etc.
Urn-lice's Positive and Negative Powders
Voju in slock. Also agents lor the
Uoiue Mint tic M'wIiik Maehlue.
one of the most u!ftil!HcMof hooaeliold
i'undiu.v k'xtunt. Call and examine.
I!. CHILI, SON.
Albany, June 10,7MUv:i
GEO. T. SETTLESIIEB,
DRUGGIST,
(Successor to I). W. WakcllnM),
lMrrKIi s Xe HiiildiiiK, Ffn.t Street,
ALBANY, OBKfiOX.
Dealer In
DW.TGS AND MEDICINES,
CHEMICALS,
PAINTS, OILS, GLASS, ETC
All article warranted pure, and of the
)n'-t iinality.
Physicians proserlntlons gin-fully com
ixnimlcd. Allmny, OeV. 1", IstSWItt
FOUNDRY.
ALBANY FOUNDRY
And
Machine Shop,
A. F. CHERRY Proprietor,
ALBANY, OREGON,
4
Manufactures Steam Engines,
Flour and Saw Mill OTacliln-
cry,
WOOD WORKING
And
AGRICULTURAL MACHINERY,
And all kinds of
IltOX AXD BRASS ASTISKiN.
Particular attention paid to repairing all
Muds of machinery.
STOVES, ETC.
M. M. HARVEY & CO.,
(LATE W. H. M'FARLAND t'O.,1
ipposlte the hotels,
Albuny, Oregon,
STOVES, RANGES,
Force and Lift Pumps,
LEAD AND IRON PIPE,
Hollow Wre,
IIOtWE FI'KXIMHira HABDWABE,
Tin. Copper and Sheet Iron
Ware,
eabgent stock is the valley.
Lowest Pricet Every Tine.
BctMirlac Property art
MISCELLANEOUS.
('. WEKTl.AKK.
('. I). (SIMPSON
WESTLAKE
&
SIMPSON,
gexeral commission
AMI
FORWARDING
MERCHANTS !
ALBANY, OREGOX,
Have constantly on hand a large and vari
ed 'assortment of
Agricultural
Machinery,
which they offer on the most rensonnhle
terms.
Also, on hand the celebrated
Mitchel "Wagon,
Light and heavy.
Advance made on Urnln, Wool,
and other approved merchandise consign
ed for sale here, or for shipment to Port
land or Sin Francisco.
GRAIN and WOOL
Taken iu store, or purchased at the high
est market price.
WOOL. ! WOOL ! WOOL !
WANTED !
500,000 pounds of Wool !
For which we will make lllieinl advances,
and pay the highest market price in cash.
WKSTLAKK
SIMPSON.
Albany, March 15-28
HARDWARE.
W. H. KUHN & CO.,
Wholesale and Itetail Dealers In
SI I ELI' AMI HEAVY
HARDWARE,
Farmers' & Mechanics' Tools,
ni'II.DERV IIABDWAIIE,
IRON AND STEEL,
OAK and ELM Hl'BS,
HICKOBY A OAK SPOKES,
HICKOBY AXLES,
Hardwood Lumber,
Bout Blnil, Mmftn, Poles, Ac,
WOOD AND WILLOW WARE,
All of which are now offered to the pnl
licat low rates. As we make the business
a specialty, we ean and will keen a better
assortment, at lower prices, than any
house in this city.
W.H. Kl'HN CO.,
Montidth lire-proof brick. First street.
Allmnv, June 14,lH7i-41v4
Wlllaniettc Transportation
Company x
"PROM- AND AFTER DATE, VNTIL
r further notice, the Company wll lills
patch a 1ml from Albany to torvalllson
Tuesday and Friday of Each Week.
Also, will dispatoh a boat from Albany
for Portland and Intermediate places on
some days, leaving Comstock Co.'s
wharf
Pare at Rednoed Rate.
J. D, BILES,
Deo. 18, 187VM Aen.
ECONOMY
IS WEALTH."
"TIME
IS nVTOJSTE "ST."
SAVE YOUR
TIME,
And Accumulate
jT EALT H,
BY BTVIXii TOCB
DRY GOODS,
e
HARD AY A RE,
GROCERIES,
ITOTIOHS,
CROCKERY,
HATS,
BOUTS
PILLS,
LINIMENT,
PAINTS,
OILS,
IN" PACT
ALMOST AXYTIflNIi YOU MAY HAVE
OCCASION TO VSE,
UNDER ONE ROOF.
READY
-AXD--
PROIflPT PAYING
SHORT-TIME CUSTOMERS,
WILL FIND, AS HEKKTOFOKE,
STOBK OF THE SliBSt'BlBEB,
At All Tlxn.es,
A (Jood Assortment of the
BEST GOODS
-at the
LOWEST PRICES !
ALL kinds
OF
Merchantable Produc !
A. WHEELER.
Bhedd, Oregwi, April 5, 1D71MI
Clothing !
Stil)serlliers tlndtm; an X after their
namesare Informed that thelrsnliscrlption
expires with that number, and they arc In
vited to renew It. Terms - M per annum,
In advance: sis months. fc: three months,
It.
The Collin Cure.
Last .Saturday a well known ex-Judge
entered the Park Hospital iu a .state
of partial intoxication. He -poke In
coherently, and Inuglied when warned
of the danger of linhihiiig too freely
luring the hot weather. On leaving
the Hospital. Warden Brown advised
him to seek some sliady retreat else
he would lie certain to return on a
stretcher. The judge strolled over to
Delnionlco's ami there invested in the
S. 0. P. brandy. He was soon after
ward lound by one of the Broadway
squad, at Broadway and Keade Wreet,
unconscious.
To summon the ambulance from
Park Hospital was the work of a few
moments. "Another case of sun
stroke." said the anxious patrolman.
The surprise of Dr. Vantlewater and
Warden Brown may be imagined when
( hey found their patient to be the ex
Judge. The usual restoratives were
applied, and the case pronounced sim
ple alcoholism.
The exIudge slept. His breathing
indicated drunken stupor. At length,
as the hour of midnight, approached,
Warden Brown conceived $Je idea ot
curing the Judge of his oirtv jntlrmlty.
lie sent tor a onion. pacWM with tee.
The lights were turned down and only
the pale gleams of Hie moon entered
the room. A white cloth was thrown
over the cottln, and one solitary atten
dant watched tlie corpse. Tlie ice be
gan to melt, and tlie judge began to
revive. As the influence of tlie ice
lteeome more powerful the contortions
increased, and were soon followed by
a violent torrent of oaths. At last he
opened his eyes looked and felt about
him, and took in the situation. "Great
God I" he exclaimed, "they think I
am dead, and are going to bury me."'
To cry out for help w as his first im
pulse. He yelled like a Comanche In
dian. Warden Brown, the doctors,
the orderlies and all the pattento who
could rushed to the coffin. The corpse
insisted that he was not dead, but it re
quired very careful examination and a
serious consultation before Dr. Vande
water would express an opiou. He di
rected the Judge to leave the coffin
and get into a bed. "No sir." ex
claimed the thoroughly frightened
man ; "If I go to sleep you'll bury me,
dead or alive. I'm going home."
And lie did go home, vowing never
to drink any more. So far he lias
kept his word.
GHKK1.EY and the Typos. In the
summer of 18(54 the printers of New
ork naq toe suoiiine audacity to ask
for an advance of wages. They pre
sented their list of prices to the vari
ous employers, the minority ot whom
demurred to the advance.
Horace Greeley had been first Pres
ident of the Printers' Union, had ad
vocated iu his paper the formation of
I nions, ami in a speech made to the
compositors employed on the Tribute
about the year l.WJ, lie said that
when he found himself unable to pay
the prices demanded by the Printers'
Union, he would retire from tlie busi
ness, convinced that lie was mistaken
iu his vocation. Wlien the demand
was made for an increase of pay in
1864, Mr. Greeley at once attacked the
Printers' Union, which he had done so
much to organize, with Use utmost vir
ulence. The members were denounced
as drunkards, gamesters and whore
mongers, and because a drunken fel
low knocked the hat off the head of a
Union man. the printers were descrln
ed as a band ol midnight assassins, in
a week from tlie time ot the adoption
of the scale of prices by tlie Printers'
Union, tlie compositors employed iu
the Tribune office were on a strike, and
printers were brought from Canada
and tlie West in fact, the entire coun
try north ot Mason and Dixon's line
was niked for men to take tlie places
of the audacious villains who had dar
ed to ask for an advance of wages.
A Shrewd Mekchant.-A wholesale
grocer in New York city, who became
rich in his business, says his rule al
ways was wlieu he sold a bill of goods
on credit, to immediately snbserilie for
the local paper of his debtor. So long
as his customer advertised liberally and
vigorously, he rested, but as soon as
he began to contract his advertising
space he took tlie fact as an evidence
that then! was trouble ahead, and he
invai iably went for his debt. Said he,
" the man who feels too poor to make
his business known, is too poor to do
business." Tlie withdrawing of an
advertisement is an evidence of weak
ness that business men are not slow to
observe and act upon. New York
Times.
Gingekbkkai). Oue pint of molas-
ses, one teacup of butter, half a tea
cupful hot water, one teaspoontul soda,
half a teaspoonful pulverized allum
dissolved in hot water, two table
spoonfuls ginger; the whole mixed
thoroughly with enough of floor to
rollout!
HinioBotrs.
A dandy on tlie shore Is disgusting,
but a swell on the sea is sickening.
"The ricli." said a Jew. "eat veni
son because it ish deer; I eat mutton
because It ish slieep."
Patience on a moument' has no
reference to doctor's patients. Yon
will And them under n monument.
A Boston sculptor hasjnst complet
ed a statue of Jot-Imbed, the motlier of
Moses. The old lady, we regret to
say, is dead.
An old maid suggests that when men
break their hearts it is all the same as
when a Inbfter breaks one of his claWs
another Sprouts immediately, and
grows iu its place.
Some persons were discussing the
probable nationality of a very tall and
very slim foreign liidy, who put on un
usual airs. "1 think she Is a Swede. "
said one. "A Russian I think," ven
tured another. "I think," said a wag.
"she looks more like a Pole."
"I've had the cholera morbus twice."
remarks an old line Democrat, "and
I had it bad, but I'll be kI If I
ever had such cramps in my life as
when I swallered old Greeley.
'You imve lieen here a long time. 1
suppose," said a pompoits English
traveler to an old hunter In Oregon,
who had been acting as guide. 'You
bet I have,' said the hunter; and then
pointing to Mount Hood he continued ;
You see that mountain there ? Well,
sir, when 1 first came to this country
that mountain was a hole iu the
ground !'
A schoolmaster tells tlie following :
"I was once teaching in a small conn
try village. The second morning of
the session I had time to survey my
surroundings, and among the scanty
furniture 1 espied a three legged stool.
Is this the dunce block V l osker a
little girl of five years. The dark eyes
sparkled, tlie curls nodded assent, and
the Hps rippled out, "I guess so The
teacher always sits on it."
A Chicago reporter announces that
"the receipt of another ship load of
blackberries from St. Joe, yesterday,
created a perceptible ripple In the
toothpick trade."
"They fired two shots at him."
wrote an Irish reporter! "tlie first
shot killed him, but the second was
not fatal."
An attendant at Mount Vernon not
long ago observered a lady weeping
bitterly, her handkerchief to her eyes.
Going up to her, he said i "Are yon
in ireunie, madam?" "ho, sir," sne
sobbed. "I saw you weeping." "Ah,"
sue said "now can any one OelD ween
ing at the grave of the Father of the
Country?' "Oh, indeed, madam.'"
he said, "that's it. Well, the tomb's
over yonder. This Is the ice-house."
A witness in describing certain
events, said : "Tlie person I saw at
the head of the stairs was a man with
one eye named Jacob Wilkins.'
"What was the nameof his other eve ?"
spitefully asked the opposing council.
l'lie witness was disgusted at tlie levi
ty of the audience.
The man with his lung tester who
aceomiianies Barniun and makes a
penny by testing the wind of tlie mul
titude, came to grief at Terre Haute
the otlier day. A healthy farmer's
boy with a chest on him like an em
igrant's valise, drew-in a mouthful of
tlie atmosphere, wrapped a quarter
section of his lips over th 'nozzle and
breathed. An explosion followed,
first of the machine and then of the
by-standers, ami the "Professor" Wa
heard, to say, as he gathered up the
fragments. "He had lieen eating onions
that's what made his breath so strong. "
Hands have they, yet steal not
Clocks. Legs have they, yet walk not
Tables. Teeth have tlicy, yet chew
not Combs Lips liave tney; yet
Kiss not I iti-hers, Eyes, nave they,
yet see not Xeedles. " Hearts havi
they, yet pity not Cabbages. Ears
have they, yet hear not Old book
leaves. Arms have they, yet toil not
Chairs.
The City Fathers of Hartford have
decreed tliat pigs in the public thor
oughfares are bores. ?
Tlie Bishop ot Gloucester, who has
the disposal of seventy livings, thinks
the English church system s a hum
hug. Quite Right A correspondent who
owns a valuable horse objects to turn
ing him into a pasture for fear he
should graze his knees.
Since Mr. Beecher advocated bill
iards at home, all tlie Xew Yorkers
arc having a billiard hall put into their
houses.
Napoleon left the sea-side because
people "stared at iiim so rudely."
Mrs. Gnbhins says Iter husband Is
exactly like a tallow candle, because
he always will smoke when s m going
out.
The other day a Boston youth ap
plied at the Registrar's office for a
"recipe" to get married.
A Japanese scholar In one of the
schools of New Haven, having been
insulted by a school-mate, sent a note
to one of tlwrlnstroetore requesting per
mission to kttlthe ofepder.
White women get 9 ft day in tlie
South for picking cot torn
t