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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (April 8, 1871)
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, APRIL 8, 1871
. , "HIBUSIHD EVERT SATCRBAT IT
jrrics ox corssr or peert asj rmsr-srs.
TERMS IN ADVANCE.
Obo Tear Three Dollar
Six Months Two Dollars
Single Copies Ten Cents
Transient advertisements per Square of ten
tines or less, first insertion, $2 ; each subsequent
Larger advertisements inserted on the most
Having received new type, stock of colored
inks, cards, a Gordon Jobber, etc., we are p re
pa ed to exesute all kinds of printing in a better
manner and fifty per cent, cheaper tnan ever be
fore offered in this city.
Attorney at Law, (
C. P. FERRY,
RUSSELL & FERRY,
Real Estate Brokers & Collecting Agents
Portland, - - -
SPECIAL ATTENTION GIVEN TO THE
Sale of Real Estate, Real Estate Litigation,
and the Collection of Claims.
Office. North-west corner of First and Wash
ington Streets, Portland, Ogn. feb 6-70- 5
, Agsntt for the Register.
The following gentlemen are authorized to re
ceive and receipt for -subscription, advertising,
etc., for the Rkoistkr :
HIRAM SMITH, Esq Harrisburg.
Judjre S. H. CLAUQUTON Lebanon.
PETER HUME. Esq 3rownsville
W. R. KIRK. Esq
E. E. WHEELER, Eq Scio.
T. H. REYNOLDS, Esq Salem.
O. P TOMPKINS, Esq Ilarrisburg.
L. P. FISHER, Esq.. 'Frisco.
J. QUIXX THORXTOX,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW
Orrire No. Ill First street, between Mor
rison and Alder, opposite the Occidental Hotel,
Will practice in the Superior and Inferior
Courts of the Statu, and in the District and Cir
cuit Court of the United States, giving special at
tention to the collection of debts in all parts of
Oregon, and to obtaining discharges in Bank
riptcy, which, since the last amendment to the
law, may bo obtained from all debts oontracted
prior to January 1st, 1S69. without regard to the
per centae which the asseits may finally pay.
November 28, lS70-12v3y
jvdce eelsat. JeSSPlt BASSOX.
KELSAY & HAS SOS,
Attorneys and Counsellors at Law.
(Partners for Linn county.)
OFFICE In Tost Office Building, (up stairs).
Albany, Linn eoucty, Oreon. 9:fV3
ceo. son. Jakes morrisos.
- r I- , '
Comer Front and Morrison streets,
Noah & Morrison, Proprietors.
Free Coach to and from the House.
B A Iff K I IVT G
DEPOSITS RECEIVED SUBJECT TO
check at sight,
interest allowed on time deposits in coin.
Exchange on Portlaud, San Francisco and
New York for sate at lowest rates.
Collections made and promptly remitted.
Refers to II. W. Corbett, Honrv Failing, W. ?.
Banking honrs from 8 A. M. to 6 p. x.
Albany, February 1, 187l.22v3
L. STRUCXMEIER & CO.,
JUST RECEIVED, A LARGE AND WELL
selected stock of French Goods, consisting
of Casaimcres, Beavers and Doeskiua. and all
manner of Faucy Goods of tbe best quality.
.Zr-r?- Suits made to order.
4Cy L. STRUCK MEIER A CO.
J. W. BentJey.
DEALER IN MANUFACTURER OF
FTJH. 1ST I JC XJ I
33 1? tiding-, Etc.,
Corner First and Broad Alb in streets,
C1 ENTLEMEN'S BOOTS MADE TO ORDER
W on short notice, and with neatness and dis
patch. jiS Ali Binds of Repairing- Done.
Albany, June 11, 1870 40
t?, U. SICE, .71. .,
PH.S1CIAN AND SURGEON,
Albany, ------ Oregon,
FFICE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF MAIN
Albany, April '70-32
I. S. DnBois,
CONSTANTLY on hand and receiving, a
large stock of
Groceries and Provisions,
Wood and Willow Ware, Tobacco, Cijtars, Con
fectionery, Yankee Notions, Ae., Ae., Wholesale
and Retail, opposite R. C. Hill A Son's drug
store, Albany, Oregon. jn40'70
w. 3. HiLTABinei.. - ARPaews.
HUtabidel Bt Co.,
DEALERS IX GROCERIES AND PR0
rUioos, Wood and Willow Ware, Confec
tionery, Tobacco, Cigars, Pipes, Notions, etc.
Main street, adjoining the Express office, Albany,
j. m. irrrcwrn-.
3. sr. SOLPD.
Mitchell, Dolph & Smith,
A TTORNEYS asd COUNSELLORS atLAW,
Solicitors in Chancery and Proctors in Ad
miralty. Office over the old Post Office, Front
street. Portlaud, Oregon. - , I
JAMES A. WARNER,
Civil Engineer Sc Surveyor.
IS PREPARED TO DO SURVEYINW AND
Engineering. Uses improved Solar Compass.
Orders by mail promptly attended to. Resilience
on 4th St., opposite Dr. Tate's residence, Albany
POWELL. t" FLJW3.
Powell s& Flinn,
ATTORNEYS A COUNSELLORS AT LAW
and Solicitors in Chancery, :., .
(X. Flinn, Notary Public,)
Albany, Oregon. Collections and conveyances
promply attended to. I
CEO. VT. GRAY, X. D
WOULD SOLICIT THE PAT
rooage of all persons desir
ing ARTIFICIAL TEETH and
FIRST CLASS DENTAL opera
tions. Nitrous Oxide administered for tbe pain
less extraction of teeth, when desired. Charges
0ffioe in Parrish A Co.'s brick block. Resi
dence, arst house south of Congregational Churcb.
rooting on Court House block. -
Albany, Oregon, July 2, 1870-43
a grri 3 U 8 H EL S OF OATS, for
lJoUU which tbe highest market prico
srill be paid, in CASH, at the store of
N. 6. DU BOISE.
Also, Batter and" Eggs, in unlimited quantity,
for which tbe highest market price will be paid in
cash. Call and see me.
Albany, Aug. 20, 1870-58
$20.00 A DAY Z
JO MALE AND FEMALE AGENTS
To introduce the celebrated
STITCU ALIKE ON BOTH SIDES, and is
the only licensed shuttle sewing machine in
,tho United States, sold for less than $40, to use
b celebrated Wilson feed, and are acknowledged
bj all to be the best family machine for light or
fcoavy sewinsr, in the market, Outfit free. Ad
AntM. MINER A PEARSON. Gen. AgU.,
-9r3tn Al'oany, Oregon.
PARTICCLAH ATTEJITIOX PAID TO
ORDERS OF ALL KINDS
in his line
CEO. F. SETTLEMiER.
iy It 1J Gr Csr I 4 n? .
(Stt3CCSsor to D. W. Wakefield,)
Parrlhh's New Ituildiug-, First Street,
'Drugs anil Medicines,
PAINTS. OILS, GLASS, ETC.
All articles warranted pure and of the best
Physicians Prescriptions carefully compounded.
Albany. Oct. 17, 1868-6tf
A LD Alt' IT BATH UOLSE.
THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT
fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi
cinity that he has takeb charge of this establish
ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict atactic ; to business, expects to suit all
those who ma favor him with their patronage.
Haviog heretofore earricd on nothing but
First-Class Hair Dressing- Saloons,
he expee's to give entire satisfaction to all.
gSt Children and Ladies' hair neatly cnt and
shampooed. JOSEPH WEBBER:
rvRiviCr. - - TUitiinr.
I AAf PBEPARBD TO DO
.T. KI3SDS OF TURS1SG !
I ke p on hand and make to crder
i Spinning: Wheels.
' Shop near the "Maznolia Mills.'
JOHN M. METZLER
Albany, Nov. 8, I8B.S-I
Estabimed In 1840.
V ERNEST A. ERI.ANDSOW,
General Commission Merchant
r : and dealer in
DRUGS. CHEMICALS, ESSENTIAL OILS,
DYE STUFFS, AND
BY THE PACKAGE ONLY.
Cash rders for goods of every description from
(his or any Foreign Market, will receive prompt
and faithful attention. -
Miners, manufacturers and wholesale trade sup
plied for cash, pgr No notice or attention paid
to orders for goods, if there is no provision made
for the payment of the saute.
Consignment of Oregon Produce, Grain,
Wheat, Flour, &o., solicited.
SAN 2 RAN CISCO, CALIFORNIA.
December 31, 1879-Utf
LOOK HERE !
SAI FRANCISCO STORE!
CORNER FIRST AND FERRY STREETS,
ALBAN Y .... OR EGON.
Keeps constantly on hand a full assortment of
STOVES, PUMPS & TINWARE I
I will have for sale the celebrated -c
cook stove, and other leading styles.
Also, manufacture all kinds of
Tin, Copper and Sneet-lrow Ware,
in the best style, at lowest rates.
FOR CASH or COUNTRY PRODUCE.
Always on band a full supply of
The. Purest Wines and Liquors,
for Medieimsl purposes aryv
A well selected stock of
Groceries and Crockery !
will always be found at my establishment.
I will sell all goods in my house, for Cash or
Produce on delivery, cheaper than ever before
offered in this market, j
All kinds of repairing done, on short
notice, and entire satisfaction warranted, at my
Stove and Tin Store. f
JULIUS GR AD WO II L.
Nov. 19-11 i ,.
SASH, BLIX1) AND BOOR
S. H. AI.TU0USE. X. WRIGIIT. J. F. BACKESSTO.
AliTROUSE fc CO.,
LYOSt STREET, (OS TBE RIVER BAXK),
ALBANY, t : OREGON.
KEEP ON HAND A FULL ASSORTMENT,
and are prepared to
Ivix-n.islx to Order,
Crown, Panel, Band, and Section Mold
of all sizes.
WINDOW AND DOOR FRAMES !
and all other kinds of
Building: Material !
Are prepared to do MILL WORK ; furnish Sha
ker Fans. Zigzag Shakers, Suction Fans. Driving
Pulleys, of any kind, at our Factory on Lyon
street, (on the river bank), next below Markham's
ALTHOITSE & CO.
Albany, February 0, 1S63- 4
STOVE DEPOT !
STOVES, COOK, PARLOR & BOX.
of the best patten
Tin, Siiect iron and
Oopper w aro i
and the usual cssortment of Famishing Ooods t
be obtained in a
TIN 4SE?OI.3S3 !
Sot Ilepairt neatly and prnmpltg exe'Uttd,
on rnf onaote rermf . as
"Short reckonings, make long friends.'
Front street Albany.
Next door to Mansfield & Co.
RATES OF TOLL
Willamette Valley and Cascade
Mountain Wagon Roads
To Descuuttes River :
Four Horse or Mule team...... ....$4 50
Two . " " ' . 3 00
One " .... 2 00
Ox teams, tbiee yoke ... 4 50
For every additional yoke.....-. 50
Loose horses, per head 25
" cattle, per head 15
" sheep or hogs... 3
Teams returning empty, half price.''
Pack animals, loaded.. 50
" unloaded 25
Horso and rider....... 1 00
To Fish take :
Four horse or mule team, each way 2
Two " . . i
On " " 1
Pack animals, loaded
Ilorss and rider
Ox team, three yoke. 2 "
To Upper Soda Spriug-1
Four hone or mule team, out and back...... 2 60
Two : " " 2 00
One " ' " " ...... 1 00
Horse and rider, " 50
Loose animals, " 25
Ox teams the same as horse teams.
W. W. Pabeish, Tres..
March 0. 1869- 8
FROHIAIV IS UILDIN-M S.
WHEAT AND FLAX SEED REPOT.
CLEANING and HOISTING rapacity
- 10,000 Bushels per Day i
A share of patronage solicited. :
45-70 E. CARTWRIQHT.
pSf The highest cash price paid for Wheat.
CITY DRUG STORE.
A. CAROTHERS & CO.,
DRUGGISTS & APOTHECARIES,
(Foster's Clock, First street),
ALBANY, : : : OREGON,
Drugs, Chemicals, Medicines.
paints, oils, dye-stuffs,
TOILET i 660398,
FVench and 'American Oalognes,
, HANDKERCHIEF EXTRACTS,
Pure VViucs &. liiquor,
for medicinal purposes.
Fine Tobacco and Cig-ars.
3S Physician's Prescriptions and Family
Recipes compounded with care.
December 31, 1870-17
CITY PROPERTY FOR SALE
S T I T ZE L & U PTON ,
Real Estate Sealers, Albany, Ogn.
CITY OF ALHANY :
Lot 3, block 6 Good bouse.
Lots 3 and 4. " 2 unimproved.
Lots 1, 2, 7. 8, " 19 Good bouse and stable.
Lots 5 and 6, 2 Good house.
Lots 5 and fi, 130 "
Lots 1, 2 and 3, 6 house and two stables.
9 Lots " 60 " "
Plenty of excellent fruit a desirable homestead
Lots 6 and 7, z4 Wood noase.
Lots 2 and 3,
Lots 3 and 4,
Lots 3 and 4,
103 - " "
tt 3 "
" lfi " "
" 60 unimprored cheap.
" 5 ' desirable lots.
US box boose.
74 acres (rood timbered land, oue mile from
Albany, in Benton county.
Ten Homestead Lot. 6 acres each, J mile north
of Albany Ferry, at $120 each.
For particulars apply to
9. C. MEXDEMIALL,
Heal Estate Agent,
Office in Parrish Brick, Albany, Oregon. 40
1ST Ail W ZF-IDELOVa:.
W. II. lit II IV Ac CO.,
Having just received a Lare and well selected
. seen-, as
FARMER'S & M EC II AN ICS TOOLS
ANVILS, VICES, BELLOWS,
Saws, Saws, Saws.
Planes, Planes, Planes,
Corss-Cut and Mill Saws,
Together with a large assortment of
IHON AND STEEL
Nails, Nails, NaPs?,'
Springs, Sprinsrs, Springs,
Axles, Thimble-Skeins, Bolts, &c, &e.
. Also, a well Selected Stock of
Wagon. Tlnato er,
SPOKES. HUBS, BENT RIMS,
SHAFTS, POLES, HICKORY AXLES, ETC.,
All of which we are now offerin to the public
at low rates. As we make the business a spec
ialty, we can and will keep a bettor assortment at
lower prices than any house in this city.
Receiving and opening a large and splendid
WOOD AND WILLOW WARS,
Which wo offer at reduced ratos.
W. 11. KTJHN A CO.
In the Monteith Fire-proof Brick, First-at.
ALBMY BOOK STORE.
. ESTABLISHED IN 1856.
E. Jk.: FREELAND,
T B A L B R IN EVERY VARIETY OF
13 Miscellaneous Books, School Books, Blank
Books, Stationery, Ac. Books imported to erder
at short notice.
Albany, Oregon, December 3, 1870.
Six miles South of Albany, Unit Co.,
Near the Railroad.
IS O L I C IT THE ATTENTION OF ALL
persona desiring to purchase Fruit Trees to
call and examine my stock, which is composed of
the largest and best selection in the State, con
sisting of Apples, Pears, Cherries, Plums, Prunes,
Grapes, Black Berries, Currants and Roses.
AlSO, ' ' ' s
Black and White Walnut, English Wal
nut, Hickory, Pecan, Redbud,
', Hooey Locust, II ackberry, .
and a number of other varieties of trees and plants
too numerous to mention, all of which are offered
at low rates. HENRY W. 6ETTLEMIRE.
December 17; 1870-15
I I T T S
HAINES' HEADERS !
Mowers J Reapers
. ' And all kinds of .
Agricultural Implem'ts & Machines
On band and for sale by :
BLAIN. YOUNG CO.,
May 58, '70-58 ' Albany, Ogn.
LIVERY, FEKD & SALE
M0XTG0MERY& - BARTGES.
-srsTT'E ARE PREPARED TO FCRNISn
' the public with neat turnouts in the wav
Stylish Baggies & Carriages
H7 ct m -t S -t o O Is. Z
On the most reasonable terms. Our livery is all
new and of the latest styles, and wo shall take
pride in giving our patrons as neat and reliable an
outfit as can be obtained in the State.
Horses boarded at reasonable rates, by the week
Hacks and Carriages furnished for parties, Ac.
A share of pnblio patronage is solicited.
. MONTGOMERY A BARTGES.,'
Albany, December 17, 1870-15
FIRST STREET, ALBANY, OREGON,
3. L. HARRIS.
G. D. BAIGIIT.
J. Jj. HARRIS & CO.,
PROPBIETORS. AVo shall endeavor to
always keep on hand a full supply of all
Kinds of Meats!
all of which will be of the very best quality.
Tbe highest market price paid for Beeves, Hogs
Third door west of Ferrv, on south side of First
streets. J. L. HARRIS A CO.
Albany, Dee. -15, 1870-15
A Great Bargain.
THE FARM KNOWN AS "FARMOUNT
Lake" is offered for sale at $10,000 iu coin
$4,000 in hand, and the remainder in six equal
annual payments, with interest from date. The
tract is in good shape, being nearly a square, con
taining about 6fi0 acres of rich soil ; aud is diver
sified with forests vast, fair lawns, lordly oaks,
and willows sitting by the lake, tbe woodland and
prairie so alternating as to make it one of the
most attractive places in the State. It is situated
on the west side of the Willamette river, within
half a mile of Albany, trbich is known as being
in the heart of tho best agricultural portion of
Oregon. The location is healthful. It has a good
stone quarry, about 10U acres under fence, a two
story frame barn with shedding 90 feet square ; a
large aud handsome new bouse two-stories high,
thoroughly painted insido and out, the large cup
boards and book-cases being fixtures, and the
house having under its whole length a good dry
cellar. In addition to tbec there is a neat wull
hotts, a wood-house and all other necessary out
houses. There is a meadow, lanje pasture, or
chards, garden, Ac, tic. It is susceptible of be
ing divided into fonr farms, all of them having
good soil, fuel and rail timber, and three of tbe in
For particulars address J. (J. Mendetibail, i.sq.,
Albany, or the undersign at Portland.
J. QUINN THORNTON.
Feb. 14th, 1S71 24v3. Attorney at Law.
JE C I I O
KIKE AND MARINE
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA. ,
Total Assets (Gold) S1.7TT 2G6.G3
J. HUNT, President.
-VTm. ALVORD. Vice President.
A. J. RALSTON, Secretary.
A. BAIRD, Marine Secretary.
The leading Fire and Marine Insurance
Company on this coast.
WT-$i)0,O0O deposited in Oregon.
S" Losses Promptly and Equitably adjusted
and paid in Gold. Coin.
LADD & TILTON, Gen. Agents
Fur Oregon anil Waslu'iijlon Territory.
JOIIIY (OWEIt, Agent,
March 4, 7f-26y
How a JioY Wakes Up. There he
lies in his crib, a nutbrowo cub of four
years. He sleeps the sleep of healthy
childhood. In the same position he lay
when he dropped into unconsciousness,
oue arm under his head, one leg kicked
out from under the coverlet, lie is per
fectly motionless. Ilia round cheek
pillows itself on the extended arm, pnd
his leg seems to have been arrested in
the middle of the last restless kick, as
the curtain fell over his blue eyes, and he
was fast asleep. You can scarcely per
ceive his regular respiration. A train
of cars thunder by without noise he
might be carried across the street without
awakening. It is morning ; ; daylight
streams into the windows ; the sun shines'
on the hill-tops. The sounds of stirring
life are beginning to be heard about the
house. Watch the boy. " Still and mo
tionless as a figure of marble. As v you
look, the gates of sleep are suddenly un
locked. ' lie is awake in a twinkling
awake all over. Ilia blue eyes are wide
open and bright- his lips part with a
shout his legs fly out in different direc
tions his arms are in rapid motion he
flops over with a spring in ten seconds
be has turned a couple of somersaults,
and presents before you a living illustra
tion of perpetual motion. There is ho
deliberate yawning, no slow stretching of
indolent limbs, no lazy rubbing of sleepy
eyes, no gradual becoming awake about
it With a snap like a pistol shot he is
thoroughly awake and .kicking wide
awake to the top end of each particular
hair. The wonderfull thing about it is its
suddenness and completeness.
The Scientific American gives an ac
count of a family of gigautic Turks. The
father and mother live near ; Damascus,
90 and 67 years old, and weigh respec
tively 520 and 560 pounds. They have
ten sons and five daughters, all living.
The oldest weighs 630 and the youngest,
who liveB in Illinois, 650 and, none of
them weigh less than 500 pounds, nor
under seven feet high the Sucker, the
youngest, being 7 feet 8 iuches. They
arc all well proportioned. ' , :
Murder Run Riot.. i '
It is no use for any political party,
either in or out of power, to attempt to
conceal the fact that a condition of things
approaching to absolute anarchy prevails
at the present moment in many of the
Southern States. A generous desire to
s.often the hardships of defeat, a patriotic
desire to see the Union once again re-,
stored to its pristine splendor, have
hitherto induced loyal Northern men to
overlook certain manifestations of a tur
bulent spirit and to pardon a certain
amount of opposition to the supremacy
of Government. It was hoped that a lit
tle time would soothe , the exasperated
feelings of the vanquished; rebels, and
show them the advantages of returning
to habits of law and order. But these
natural expectations have all been disap
pointed, the leniency of the Government
has been foully abused, and the quondam
Confederates have actually rioted in mur
der and outrage.' In many Southern dis
tricts the Federal authority is ignored
altogether, legally-appointed officers arc
compelled to fly for their lives, justice is
impeded in its action, and the Courts arc
practically closed; criminals of the deep
est dye, whose lives are forfeit to the land
over and over again, defy apprehension
and scoff at judge and jury. Worse than
all this Frecdmen are daily murdered in
cold blood for no other reason than be
cause they are Republican in politics !
It is asserted, on authority that scarcely
admits of a doubt, that five thousand oe
groes have been assassinated in the South
ern States since the election of General i
Grant, and that for these five thousand'
murders not a single criminal has been
brouaht4o justice. This is a horribly ;
startling statement, and necessitates the j
conclusiou that an organized effort is be
ing made to exterminate the blacks. Nor
do the Kuklux miscreants confine their :
operations to the colored race white men i
have repeatedly been killed because they I
were, loyal to the Government, and there j
fore obnoxious to the "chivalrous" South- j
erners. Now these facts suggest some i
very pertinent queries : Are the Fede
ral authorities prepared to forego all pow- I
er or jurisdiction in the feouth r Arc the
murderous conspirators of the Ku-KIux
I to be supreme masters there, and to lay
II .11 f 1, a. .
aown tne law ior an comers i Are loyal
aud law abiding citizens to carry their j
lives in their hands from day to day, and
receive no protection ? The answer to
these questions which will be thunder
ed forth throughout the Union, from sea
to sea, wherever a faithful citizen is to be
found is an emphatic and decisive 'No !'
Then tbre is only one course to be taken.
The Government must restore order and
swoop ,wy terrorism , With a Strong
hand. To do this, every soldier in the
Union, horse, foot and artillery, must be
employed, if necessary. There must be
no faltei jng in the task ; no half meas
ures must be tolerated Ku-Kluxism must
be stamped out, burnt out, shot out, bay
oneted out, no matter at what cost. The
American Government would not be
worthy of existence if it permitted its
authority to be thus set at defiance, its
officials maltreated, and its citizens mur
dered by infamous rebels, whom a mis
taken clemency has saved from tho gal
lows. The necessity of Government in
terference in the disturbed districts is so
patent that we cannot understand how
any man living under the shadow of
the American flag can raise l is voice
against it. We should eertainly lie dis
posed to regard any individual opposing
the measures which alone can re-establish
tranquility as accomplices in the murders
and outrages that disgrace the South.
The thing is altogether beyond the sphere
of party politics, ; and is a question of
loyalty .or rebellion. S. F. Chronicle, o
Died of a Frting Pan. "Died of a
frying pan," is the v epithet which the
Columbus, Ga., Enqtiirer says appropri
ately belongs to the grave yards of thous
ands of Southern people, oa account of
the manner of preparing food in that
part of the country. The editor says of
the Southern man ; .
His standard food is a piece of bacon
fried ; the fat taken, and with flour or
meal mixed int ) a heavy mass and con
signed to the inevitable frying pan, and
outcomes a lump of leathery-looking
sometlung which the stomach : f an
ostrich could not digest. Give him a
chicken, and what does he do with itf
Cuts it up, and into the ' frying pan it
goes. After being slowly simmered un
til hard, it is put into a deep : dish l and
grease poured over it, and what is not
soaked up in the chicken is made way
with by soaking his leathery bread in it.
Give him a rich, jucy fctsak, and ' into
tbe frying pan it goes, and it is slowly
simmered and simmered until no koife
will cut it, and thea eaten with heavy
bread, soaked in the remaining fat ; and
thus good wholesome food in quantity
sufficient to afford a wholesome meal for
a French artisan's lamily, is by the fry
ing pan process rendered not only barely
enough for one man, but converted into
a slow poison anda frightful source of
disease. 1 Scarcely a day passes but some
poor sufferer applies to me for reliet irons
tie "frying pan dieeasc," which relief I
am unable to give without an entire
change in his or her habits, and, unless
such change is effected, whose appropriate
epitaph will be, "Hied ot a trying i u.
. ThSnts ont Antpra the bar-room of a
first-class hotel early in the day : , "Laad
lord, I gue33 I've got sense enough to
take a drink this morning." vosequ
bar-tender furnishe the required bever
age, and the thirsty gen smiles, cks
his lips, nd remarks: "Well, old
that's prime, but I'm cuWd if I y
sense enough to pay for it." Exit with,
A wife in St. Joseph shot her husband
through the arm the other day because
he promised to buy her a night-gown
with a three-feet trail, and didn't. ;
A countryman, in a short discourse or?
love, says : "It does 'pear like girls , go .
half way, but it 'pears like a ' team of
oxen couldn't draw 'em t'other half.", .
. A girl in Hunterdon county, New Jer
sey, was choked dead the other day - by
ner lover s arm, tne lusty young mat
thinking she was "only in fun" when she
The-. Woman's Journal, in speaking of
Vinnie lleam and her statue of j Lincoln,
says that flattery and petting, and the "
granting to curls what is only duo to
brains, can do woman no real good.
Mrs. Gardiner, iu a letter to an Indi
ana paper, makes the declaration that wo
men carry a coneealed weapon that can,
if properly used, "sway the destinies of .
all mankind." r .u w ;
Quilp and his wife had a bit of conten
tion the other day. "I own that you
have more brilliancy than I," said the
woman, "but I have the better judg
ment." "res," said Quilp, "your choice
in marriage shows that." Quilp was in
formed that he was a brute. f
It is the queerest thing In the world
what Charlotte Smith, of ' Rock port,
Massachusetts, can want of her runaway
husband, whom she describes in an ad
vertisement as "a little man, badly crip
pled in one leg, one leg shorter than the
other, false teeth and bald head."
Mr. Beckler of Missouri, returning to;
his desolate hearth, found a tender note
from his wife, saying, "I leave you mine
and Tom's picture; you had better break
up the house and live at home. I love
torn better than I do you and that is why
I have gone." : ' '
. Josh Billings says : "It strains a man'
philosophy the wuss kind to laff when he'
gets beat." It is observable, . also, that'
when a man sprawls in the slush at ,the
crossing.lVVom joins very heartily in
tbe mirth vnicb his mishap exeites
among the spectators. " " . ' '
It was no joke when a member of the
Pennsylvania L-cgislature, a year ago,
remembering that Thomas Scott was
President of the Pennsylvania Central;
rose in his seat and said, ' Mr. Speaker,,
if Thomas Scott has no more business
for this Legislature, I move we adjourn."
A fair maid of Evansville", Indianar
brought a suit for breach of promise:
against a wealthy bacbeler, and claimed
that her sensitive and confiding' nature
had suffered 850,000 worth of damage.
The jury could not see it in that light,
and only gave the innocent victim six
cents. She declares her supreme ' indif
ference to the woman's rights movement,
because she has proof enough that the
country has already gone to irreparable
smash. ' ' '
According to the Interior, there is a
lady in Chicago who estimates her annual
church going expenses at $1,587 65
This trifling amount, it should be said,,
includes new dresses for four daughters,,
and does not include the extra expense
of horses, coachman, etc. For the en
lightenment of the curious public, it should
also be added that a hundred dollars
goes upon this ladies precious person
where fire cents goes into the plate.
The Chicago Tribune ' professes to
know that "woman, not only of a - high
social position and large fortune, but of
sincere piety and, thorough benevolence
may steal;" and further says : ' "We
have known, repeatedly known- women of
perfect respectability to steel petty arti
cles while visiting at each other's residen
ces, and to remain on terms of the most
cordial intimacy and apparent good will .
after each other knew that the other had
been filching from her, and that her own
returned theft was fully known."
At the recent meeting of the Women's
Board of Missions, in Boston, Mrs. Wright
read a letter detailing the earnest endeav
ors of a poor crippled girl in New Hamp
shire to do something for tbe cause. She
cut off ber beautiful hair and sold it for
7, which she gavo to the Tract Society.
A cone basket, tho result of long and
painful labor on her part, she offered to
the cause of missions. - At tbe desire of
many ladies, i this : basket was passed
around in the church that they might
fill it with offering, and nearly 8100 was
- "Cheaper than dirt," is the pertinent
inscription on a case of soap in an apothe
Why are the candidates who fail to get
elected like the world t Because they are
depressed at the polls.
There is a hilly county in East Teunes
see whore the children look up the chim
ney to see if the cows aro coming home.
"Here's your Mule," is the title of a
Kanawha river steamer. ?u.
Crime in Kansas. In Greenwood
county, Kansas, a few days ago, j' "
lanoe Committee seised eight nebww
to have been thieves, .shot three, jujd
hanged.five by the heels unt.l
dead Three of them turned "tote
evince, but were hanged otwithsUnd
ing Ge-orgeT. Wheitner snexnd
hardened criminal, A ,lg County
Jail, to await M; , The chargcs
Governor of f based is that
reavWeh.m SfoTm in his room in
he gave i m g om8 time
Sag,n Id robUi him of $1,500 : in
s.oce, and roooe bWc. 65 in
drev .VdV gold" waVch and chain worth
ro,"ey JL exrert forger, as seve
ral of the cheeks testify. In his flight
. j- wf n her neonle s horses.
ne maae " , .
which have all been reoovered. He was
formerly from Brooklyn and New. York,
lie treats the matter as he would a joke.