NKW ADVERTISEMENTS.
iHKW TO-DAY.
NOTICE I
IS HEREBY GIVEN. THAT I HAVE
opened a " ,
Uvtrry ad Feed Stable I
.. town of LIEASON. wnm 1 wm ot- t-
stantly on hand to aitrnJ to the
Agister.
Jim Wolf aud ttie Torn .Cats.
vaoti of
tttt
4A
the
I lit n
Soda Spring, on Saturday of each wk
All basinsj .ntructed to my care
promptly nttenura i.
wUl be
Lrbuta. Spt- 10,
W. fe DONACA.
1ST0 Iv3m3
A Lesson la Iove.
TOiPUYCIClAMS.
New Vukx, Aogust 15, 1868.
Alio to ea.ll voor attention to my PREP
ARATION OF COMPOUND EXTRACT BU
CHU. Too MBBOMBt parts axe. BUCHU, Loaf
Leaf CCBSB8, JUNIPER BEERIE3.
Mla of Kr. partition: Bachu, a racuo. Ju
niper Berrlea, by distillation, to form a fine gin.
Caaabs extracted by displacement with spirits
obtained from Jnniper Berries ; very little sugar
is ased, and aemall proportion of spirit, it is
moraftamsshta-than any nw in'wae. 4
Bueha as prepared by Draggists. is of a dark
color. It is a plant that emits its fragrance ; the
action. of Ansae, destroys this itsactiv principle)
leaving Mstk Mid Joilnoaa decocUw Mia U
the color of ingredients. The Bucho in my prep
aratiua predominates ; the smallest quantity of
the otaer togratUauta are added to -prevent fer-;
mentatlim ; upon Inspection it will be found not
W ba a TineUtre, M mads in Pbarmsci.po a, net
is it a Syrup and tbarofora can be- used in cases
wha ferer or inflaaunaUoa exists. Ia this, you
hare the knowledge of the ingredienu and the
saode of preparation.
Hoping that yo wl Cavor it with a trial,' and
that apoa inspection it will meat with your appro,
nation, with a feeling of profound confidence,
rf I am Tory respectfully,
Cheaist and Proggist of 19 Yean' Expcrk-nce.
BET
$2,000
ON TOE ELECTION!
MARK TWAIN 8 ACCOUNT OF A TR AC1ICAI.
AFFAIR.
I knew by the sympathetic glow upon
his bald head I knew by the thought
ful look upon his face--1 knew by the
emotional flush upon the strawberry on
the end of the old free Jiver nose, that
Simon Wheeler's memory was busy with
the olden times. XAnd so I prepared to
leave, because all "these were symptoms
of reminiscence Ignii that he was go
ing to be delivered of another of his tire
some personal experiences ; but I was too
slow j he got the Start of me. As nearly
as t can recollect the infliction was
couched in the following language :
We were all boys then and didn't care
I for nothing, and didn't worry about noth-
ing, only to shirk school and keep up a
j revivin state of divilinent all the time,
j This yere Jim Wolf I was talking about
' was the ptentice.rand he was the best
hearted feller, he Was, and the most for-
eivin', and unselfish I everdtd see well,
I there couldn't have been a bullierboy
I than h5 was takerhim how iyou would,
1 .-l- T V . . T sai rt
H. 11. H. Horse Mclicimi. etc. ! and sorry, sorry enou-u i. "
J'o you like medicine for its bitter or nauaeat- j him tor the last time. (;-.-
ing taite We hare that dcscrrptiim. Io yoif Me and Harry was' always pesteriog
want the effect with an aromatic taste? After ! , . , . J v "i u:., fcoft-
t.win. . f r ,. ciifti. i, ... ; mm ami Diasieiius uweuuw - i
. a . ' . . ! , , t - 1.,1
pleasant tbat yonr prejuaiars
., Must purely turn awrv,
nnd tlie nrpDaration
fVCi'J lnia tkS ninaW ubvie
Physicians and customers front tlie country
may rest assured that their orders will be prompt
ly attended to. Prescriptions carefully ami cor
rectly compJtmieJ.? , ... T, ?
' Ilave-you rhe'rinpVfltM pnest called a cern? W
trl '-Corn Slayer," which surely does the wurk,
without paiu. 1 you desire a book of any kintf ,
a Gold Pen. an Album. Stationery, or such? V.
S. Drigcs ' with us. fur the accommodation of i Marv eav
Ajay one wao wanta to win can Io,ao by
U calUnrr m"":iiiJl. f i
JEt . C HILL &, SOn ,
WHO. thnnsTal for pst patronage, still in
vite the attention of Linn county rt ul., to
their unequalled stock of
DRUGS. MEDICINES, CHEMICALS,
FAINT & VARNISH BRUSHES,
i PAINTS. OILS, VARNISHES,
ALCOHOL, KEROSENE,
; WINDOW GLASS,?, j
TRUSS E S,
FANCY AXI TOILET ARTICI.KS, KTC.
Agents for Ur. I. Jayne t fun's preparations.
it - J
all ravoriiiar liim with a call.
Do you want a fine Watch, a st of Jewelry; ;
cheap or dear? J. t. Titu sella the same, umler ;
the same roof,. ' " l
Come and see u5. IJovaBook. Buy a Watch. i
Buv a Pill. Buy aometbiuj; or nothing, but come j
A wtUjpnukiect noor anu
andmittine bumble befffl in liis betland
to on, and sometiuics we'd crowd imaod
bunk "With him.r Notwithstanding his
1 growling, and wcmI let on to- get mad and
I tight across him, so as to keep him stirred
1 up like. He was niueteen ; he was long,
and lank, and bashful ; and we was four
teen and ten, tolerably worthless and
So that night, you know mat my ois.c.
iry gave a candy pullin', they started
us off to bed early, so as tbe company
could have full swing, and we ran luto
Jim's room to have some fun.
Our window looked out onto the roof
of the ell. and about ten o clock a couple
ana seens. anyway. w tic upuiu "w. t -- - - . , , . ; t
a cool drink of water in tbe summer, and a warm ' of old torn Cats got to rarm anU Cliargin
tnv surrounded bv comfortable chairj in winter.
( conotantlv kept for the acioimrodnino of all.
j Albany. May 14, 'TO-SU
Ir. h. Mcdonald & co.f
(From ttalarratt atanofa'cturinf Cbetui'.u in th
World.)
Xorembcr 4, 13i4. (
"I am acquainted with Mr. 11. T. Helmbold j
ha occupied the drug store opposite my residence !
and was occefful in conducting the busiues j
wkera others had not bee equally so before him I
I hab a wrahly unpraseed with his charac ,
tar aad ntBrprfw. -"""
AYII.T.TAM WEIGHTMAN",
Tlrsa af Fowon . M"ghtmaat. M anufaeturing
' . asjrists,"Kiutli and Browa-ste.. Philadelphia
DRUGGISTS
limit tt. and carrvin' ou like sin. There
j was lour inches of snow on the roof,, and
it was frozen so that there was a right
'smart crust of ice on it, and the moon was
! shining bright, and we: could see them
. cats like daylight. First they'd stand off
and e-you pow wow, just the same as if
they were cussiu one another, you know,
1 and bow up their backs and push up
their tails, and swell round and spit, and
; then all of a sudden the gray cat he'd
j snatch a handful of fur out of the yaller
; cat's hams, and spin round like the but-
ton on the barn door, but the yaller cat
: was game, and he'd come and clinch,
i and the way they'd gouge, and bite, and
! howl, and the way they'd make the fur
' fly was powerful. j
! Weil, Jim got disgusted with this row, j
i and 'lowed he'd climb out there and I
j shake 'cm ofl'n the roof. He had'nt rcely j
i no notion of doin' it, but we everlastin'Iy j
dogged hiui, nud bullyragged him, and
i 'lowed he'd always bragged how he would
n t 4...t-k 1 1 .. ti i ? e 1 1 r, till r,imolv 1 . r
spread over the Vnited States aud countries far , iuiii
bcTond. we are necessitated to devote our entire hlsted up the Winder, and lo and behold
time to said business. ' ! vou, he went went exactly as he was;
We are the Oldest Bras firm on the Pacrflc nothin' on but a shirt, and it was short.
One of the most beautiful actresses of
the boulevards received daily for about a
month a little penny bouquet of Violets.
She found the bouquet in the box or with
the door-keepei in the evening, as the play
was aboul to begin, and this simple offer
ing of the unknown love affected her in
spite of herself. While aeticfg she looked
carefully around at the boxes, the par
quet, and even behind thoseeues but to
no purpose ; she saw nothing by which to
recognize tbe man of bouquets, and there
upon she gave her imagination free rein,
and the imagination of an actress is very
similar to thit of other folks. Was he a
foreign prince who wished to captivate
her heart before placing at her feet his
crown and treasure ? Or was he an ar
tist too bashful to declare his passion?
She interrogated the box-keeper, the tire
women, in short, everybody employed in
the theatre, but nobody knew anything
about it; still the bouquet came.
,jThe other evening, as she entered the
theatre, she received a fresh bouquet (
violets, and this time the flowers wereac
campanied by letter. "At last I" mur
mured' she, and ppening'it bj the light of
a reflector, read as follows :
Mademoiselle i I have loved you for
a long time, for is not. beholding you and
loving the same thing? Every day I
come to admire you, to delight myself
with the brightness of your eyes and the
charm ot your voice ... .,.
"He must bo in the house," thought
the actress, and she peered through a
hole in the curtain. The audience had
just commenced to assemble. She resumed
her reading :
"Of your voice. You are indeed beau
ful and chatming, and happy are they
who may approach you. What would
give U be near you always 2 Would the
treasure of all the world be worth one of
your smiles ? No!"
. ?'Ah, that is nice !'? she sighed,- ?aud
turning the page she continued : '
"No ! And yet I dare address you
to tell you that I love you still more. I
venture to beg you not to reject my horn
"He begins to explain liimself," said she
to herself, "and. I shall know and she
continued "my homage. If this ex
pression of my love does not offend you
place the bouquet of violets in your bosom
Oh ! then I shall be the happiest of
Desperadoes in Texas. We copy I
the following from the Austin (Texas)
Journal: "Our readers will remember
that sometime since it w&3 announced
that Sam Jenkins, a freedman, living
near Huntsville, was taken from his
cabin at night and severely whipped by
a party of desperadoes, who were well
known. At the subsequent session of
the Grand Jury, Jenkins gave explicit
testimony as to the perpetrators of this
outrage, who were accordingly indicted.
To prevent his testimony Irom going be
fore a jury, and to punish him tor daring
to complain, the unfortunate man was
murdered by the same persons who had
committed the previous assault. The
principals in this bloody work were John
McParish, Fred. Parks, Nat Outlaw and
Joe Wright. . Three of the prisoners,
McParish, Wright and I'arks, were ar
rested a few days ago by the energetic
police officer Captain McNally, and we
now leatn by a telegram trom Huntsville
that on the eleventh instant, while the
prisoners were yet in the Court-room,
Judge Burnett having just ordered the
ofacer to take them to jail to await the
action of the District Court, the murder
ers suddenly drew the pistols with which
their friends and confederates had secret
ly armed them, and began to shoot,
woundinjr the gallant McNally and one
of the men. The police returned the
Ere, wounding all three of the despera
does, and recapturing Parks. McParish
and Wright escaped for - the time, but
the Dolice are in hot pursuit, and confi
dent of capture. This high-handed ' and
most surpassing villainy, committed in
the ve're seat and presence of official
justice and law, shows too clearly how
ready the tell spirit ot murder and savage
outrage is to flame out upon the least
ericouragement or occasion. Desperado--
ism in aexas is hydra-headed, and uoth
EA1T riilTKSM, Oil.,
,k .t...'n, AfTtoAipra to their laree assort.
meat of Newly Arrived" lioods, composed In
part or the following article., tpgetfier vith
fverv t&lne tept in a well supplied W UOL.E
HAtE Dltltt STORE.
Fbssh Darns, I Timm'i PEnnR-iT'sa
Fatsitt MaDictsrs, pRtreoirre' Scsomiae,
TBCS8BS& SUfPOBTEai I SnAKCB Hi BBS,
EftsaNTiAi. Oil. FaarmiBtas.
Kcbossxs OlU 1 Paists akd OIL".
Which we offer at the lowest Cmh Price, and
are determined not to be undersold. -
it. h. Mcdonald & co., Bas fbascisco, ct-
i FOR SALE,
; Our Drug Uusluesa located iu . .San f -U'- .
i cico, t'al. Alter our bei-t wishes, and express- j
j iu cur thanks i'-r the liberal patronage I
i we have received fur more than twenty-one j
i years, duriuc whith period we have been steadily ;
' eniru'-ed in the Irus business iu California, we '
be to say iu eorsciueuce of the rapid growth of
Ir. Walker's California Vineear Bitters, now !
men
sisroature-
-no
"Well " said she, "no
name zwen ; but let us sec here is a
postscript."
"P. S If you arc curious to know
who writes to you, look up to the fourth
tier my legs will hang over
The note dropped from ' the hand of
the actress, and her arms nearly dropped
from her shoulders.
ing short of the vigilance, courage and
omnipresence of the State police can copo
with the monster.
;s FLtJII EXTRACT 'Si
BUCHTI,
For waaksMas arriaing from indiscretion. The ex
BtsmsSjsd powers ot Xatare which are accompanied
by saaay alarming symptoms, among which
will be found. Indisposition to Exertion, Loss of
Manory. Wakefulness, Horror of Disease, or
VtMdXags of BrQ ; in fact. Universal Lassitude
VMatntioa, and Inability to enter into the enjoy-
fMurMetatv.' '-;;;,';p:,x"j."-:.
umtm eflfeeiea with Organic Weakness, requires the
aid of MswUetaato strearthen and Invieoratc the
aystasa, which HELM B OLD'S EXTRACT Bt -Cai"
invariable does. If no treatment is suhi
I to,' Cesuramtrcm or Insanity ensues. . ;
Cz.3V Floid Extract Boehu
ia affections peculiar to Females, is unequalled by
ay atbwr preparation, as ia Chlorosis, or Keten-
, rsusfalaesa, or buppression of f-astomary
, TJloerated or Scirrus state of the
Vtwwa, aad all com plaints incidental to the sax,
av tb aaclme or change or lite,.
on " the Pacific
l.oast unit tne outv one, conLiiiuuua uuier it , t . . -
sae proprietor, since 149. and have determined But you Ought to a SCCI1 him crcepin Over
to sell our large, prosperous, and well established 1 the ice, and dlggin Ills tOC-naiiS m to
business on favorable terms. : keep from slippiu' : and, above" all. vou
la means, V -- .i
th advan- ouht to a-sccn that shirt nappin in the
wind, aud them long, rediculous shnnks
This is a rare opportunity for men
of entering inta a profitable busiuesa
taRes never before onerea.
Jfor particulars enquire 01
. B. II. McPONAT.T A CO..
R. II. MtDosALD. Wholesale Druggists.
J. V. Spelean, Pan Francisco, Cal.
i j. B.:. ' Until a salo is cado we snail continue
our importations and keep a large stock of fresh
poods constantly on hand, and sell at prices to
defy competition. , ;
Tbe Great Medical Discovery I
- .' XM. WAUSZS'S OAlVEFOJEUriA
VINEGAR BITTERS,
Hundreds of Thousands Vs,
ft?
3-2
02
Be&r testimony to their Wonder-
CalCi
IIS WHAT
Kffects. g ;
ARE THEY?S
HZ
EUSIlIISOII'S
AND
;!.T2aproTcd .Rotie Wash,
wiB raitlssPy exterminate from the' system dis
aaaas arkrins; from habiu of dissipation, at little
scyssss, Bttl as sbsse h ibavae ianorts
iissiii ar expoanre; completely superseding; tboae
sswalaaaaat aad dangerous remedies, opaira and
Kmmry, tm all thaw dleaass.
, ,. ).. . , rt. . , ,
.flsnW,Extractr
Iluchu
.f--ii '.'fii g sX .! tii : '
lit .. T !- .!:5,ji.:s ;,alt ' .
UsSTctseaaat of toasa' orfaas, whether existing
S r female, from whatever causa- original
W., saattsr of bow long ataodios;. It ia
rfai la tastaaad odor, "immediate" ia action,
aatsii imm atrasrthentor than any of tbe prepara.'
f Bark or Irtw.' . T -
-awtaariBs; froot brekeu' dowa or' ocHcaia
a at oaa, procure the remedy at oace.
reader mtut be aware that, however alicbt
way t".c attaclt of the above diatasea, it U cer
Seus to a&act tha bodily health and mental sowars,
eaabaa isaassa require the aid of s Di
ssratfe. B4a hold's s tract of Bach is the rreat
twtsnfiSi?
..... i-'- fiT...J ki .
rH if it- C ST , 1 i H ' , i J
if tt I . V
ffaU'Vy XHmfat erarywhera. Price $f. 25
(at bot&a, at boula for $6.&0. Delivered to
mmy addrasa. - Datcriha lynstomi ia all oomma-
mmm'.f -:i;t..,v.'-.V--"-.ajj.
T. HELMBOLD, " " ?
Sqpaad Cbarafatar Waraboaaa, 694- Broadway,
asroia uleH-dona aa fa
ar.witb faveimi!a of m v Cham uA
'i sill silSOTi aa4igma :. 8v3y
s r fig
111 A if
me ja-' sw v-
Whlakev, Proof
"6 d
OJ . THET AEE NOT A VILE
esFA NCY DRI N K
' Made of Poor Ttoui,
Bairtts and Re fuse L.i qaora doctored, splcad
and sweetened to please the taste, called Ton
les,-" appetizers, " Kestorers," ac-, that lead
ttaa tippler oa to drunkenness and ruin, but are
a true Medtclne, made from the Native Boots and
Rerbeer California, free fr em K Alcobellc
i BetKalamta. Taerare the GREAT BLOOD
PURIFIER sad LIFE GIVING I'RIN
CIPLK a perfect Bcaovator and Invlgorator of
tbe System, carrying off all poisonous matter and
restoring tbe blood to a healthy condition. - No
aeraoa can take these Bitters according to direc
tion and remain long unwell.
. . Far InSammutorr and Chronic Rheu
saatlam and bout. Dyspepsia nr IndU
ceatlao, Bllloaa, ItemlttetiS and later
snlttent Fevers, Diseases ef the Blood,
LdTor, Kidneys, and madder, these nit
: tera have been most successful. Bach Din
eases are caused by Vitiated Blood, wbich
la generally produced, hx derangement of tho
. DiceatlToOrraaa. i .
DYSPEPSIA OR INDIGESTION.
Headache. Pain In the Shoulders, Coughs. Tight
ness of tbe Chest, Dizziness. Soar Eructations of
the Btomaeo, Bad taste In too Mouth Bilious At
tacks, Palpitation of tbe Heart, Inflammation of
tha Lungs. Pain la tbe regions of tbe Kidneys.and
a hundred other painful symptoms, ars the off
. springs of DyspcpatairtspisR
. They Invtsorato tbaStonsfh'aad stimulate tbo
torpid Ihrer and bowal s. wbich render tbcm of un
equalled efflcaer eleanatur tsblod of all
latarliter. and Imparting new Utc jut&ylgoT to
tbawBOlasystsm;'... - 'V-"
v POKS11IK DIf'EAMCS.Enrptlaas Tetter.
Salt Baetna, Blotebes, frpots, Pimpleaiitaatules.
BoOa,Carbunetes, raog-Wrma,SoaW.aeaii,6oro
sa,i!iTrpelas,ltob. Seur&, SJaeaiscailohs of
the f . ta. Huaora asd luaeases of fa hlsJa, of
vtmersr as an arnatarasara lltorsily dog up
an3 SAxrid out of tbe system la a abort tine by
Urn saw of these Bitter. One battle in each
eases will eowftncosbe most liftedalous of tbelr
cataUeossTeeta.- .
Ctoaasa Ota. vnistsd-Blood'w&rtfever you And
Its Impurities bBntinag thrtathe skla la Pim
ples, Eruptions or- Seres f cleanse it wben yon
Sad s oestruoted aad alsgelah la tba vetast
nasaaaaa U wasa It U (snl. aad jtmr feelings wUl ,
ifama fast wtissu . Keep tbe blood aura and tbs-
st JmbsUi of tbe system will follow..
TIV, TAJP and other WOR9X8, lrUa I i
r; taa ajsissi nf sosnany ttaassoda. areel'soraanf
i . astroyad and removed. For toll direction, read
i aarefuUy tha elrcmlar around aaohbottia.. ;i .
TVA1JCXR, Proprietor. R. R. MdDOWAXD
' CO DnggUf and Oen. Agaat, eaa rraadsos.
' Cal aad aa aad S4 Commeree Btnet . Haw Tork.
1 " BOU Br ALL DBUGOISTS ASD DEALERS
of his trlistcuintr in the moonlight.
i Them company folks were down there
j unr'er the eave, the whole squad of 'em,
: under that onery shed of old Washington
j Uower vines all settin round about two
j dozen sasscrs of hot candy, which they'd
j set in the snow-to cool. And they were
j laughin' and Calkiu lively ; but bless jou,
j they didn't know nothin'about tho pan
i omnia that was goin' ou over their heads,
j Well, Jim he weDt sneakin up unbe
known to them tony cats they was - a
switchin' their tails, and threatenin' to
clinch, you know and not payin' any at
tention he went a sneakin' right to the
comb of the roof, till he was within - a
foot and a half of em and then all of a
sadden he made a grab for the yaller cat.
liut, by gosh, he missed B re and slipped,
his heels flew up, and he flopped on his
back, and. he went otFn that roof like a
dart. went a slashin'.and a smashin'
down through them old " vines, and land
ed in the centre of them comp'ny people !
sat down like a ycarthquake in two
dozen sasscrs ot red hot candy, "and let
of a howl which was hark from the
tomb! Them gals well, they looked,
you. know. They see he wasn't dressed
forocomp'ny, and so they left. " All done
in a second. It was juct one little . war
whoop and a whisk of their dresses, ' and
blame the gal of 'cm was in sight . any
where. '
Jim was a sight, lie was gormed with
that bilin' hot molasses candy clean down
to his heels, and had more busted sasscrs
hanging to him than ifhe was an Injun
princess, and he came' a prancin! : up
stairs, just a floppin' and cussin', snd
every jump he made he shed some china,
and. every squirm he fetched he dropped
some candy I J; . . '
And blistered ! Why , bless- you soul,
thaCrf creature ciuldn't really " set
down for as much as four weeks.
? What Js an editor ?- Some one an
fcwors tuis question tnus : : " v ny, pe is
the man who reads the newspapers, writes
articles on any subject, talks to all who
Calais blamed for a hundred things
which are nobody's businesi but his own,
helps people get into office (whd forget
all about it afterwards), and frequently
eets cheated out of half of bis earnings.
its ototsb sou uoes more to ouiia up a
town tban any other body; and tha miser
and the fogy ars benefited thereby ; yet
tney win say mat tne editor s paper is
one oi uu accuuni, wwi not aavertise or
take the paper, but 'will borrow it. Who
wouldn't be an ditar.- .'i.'
At Berlin, a certain Madamo Kost, a
tight-rop! performer, undertook to ride a
velocipede backward and forward upon a
single rope stretched at a height of forty
five foet and fell when just over the par
quet of the circus - building, striking
against somo chairs, and breaking her
back in several places.
Sl.vnu of the Dav. It is well
enough to talk about the last eighteen
centuries, but the nineteenth century is
the century after all. Although im
measurably superior in everything, it is
particularly, so in the elegauce of its lan
guage. To illustrate what is here meant,
we saw two young men meet on Kearny
street, and overheard them converse. For
convenience sake, we call them Thomas
(j rceu aud James Uluc. 1 he conversa
tion was as follows :
J. Blue. Hello, Tommie ! How's
your uog f
T. Ureen (extending hu lianrtj isuiiy :
Jimmy, put it there !
J. B. Well, Tommie, how's things ?..
T. tJ. rretry tart. Seen my new
cigar holder ? How's that for high ?
J.'B. 1'reUy loud. Van Schaack's
or SutlifFs ? It isn't meerschaum, though,
for stamps.
T. G. (excitedly) I'm your oyster I
My ducats talk four dollars' worth. Come
and see me ! I straddle that blind, my
son. (Sticks nngcr ana tnumD into vest
pocket.)
J. B. Got it with you ?
T. G. Ke rect !
J. B. -You're another ! What ails
your eye ?
T- G- JIan. stuck all his fingers in it.
But then I bust his snoot, caromed on
his head, and wrung his ears till he came
to tea, now you bet. Is it very black ?
J. B. Black! You look like a coal
heavist.
X. Q.Go there yours ;cl Keep off
my toe or there'll be a nigger funeral,
that's tbe kind of a man I am, ain't it?
J. B.- Waal, who's doing this crowd
ing ? -I don't want any of your lip,
either. If you tvasn't fuller'n a little
wagon I'd make it red hot for you.
T. G. Augh, what you giving us
chin music, fuHer'n a lick yourself.
" J. B. Your'e a law yer.
T. G. Your'e a liar, am I ? What do
you take me for ?
J. B. Your'e a shoutiu'.
T. G. Give us a rest, Jimmie.
J. B. Domino domino. '
T. G. Shoo fly, I'nr off. (Exit both
in different directions.)
Imagine some ancient philosopher wit
nessing such an exhibition of the Eng
lish tongue. i He would probably think
it was "pretty tart." lijaio.
A Chew of Tobacco. Concerning
the eccentric revivalist. Burchar'd, whose
peculiar and aggressive style of preaching
the kingdom coming created such an ex
citement in various parts of the country
years ago, many anecdotes have beeu told,
aid scores of others might be related.
We are informed at an inquiry rreeting
one evening, a man seemed powerfully
affected by the prevailing spirit, aud rose
to speak, but stood irresolute for a md
metit. I
"Go on, brother !" shouted Burchard.
Smne one exnlnincd that he wished to
srcitk ; but though he understood Eng
lish, he could only eorumuuicate his ideas
iu German. i
"Well, go on '." Burchard shouted
again. '"I'll warrant you the Lord can
understand your Dutch lingo, if we
can't." . " i
Burchard was a man of great readi
ness, and would not take a rebuff, if he
could help it. To keep himself even with
a class of "fellows ot'the baser sort," who
came to his meeting to scoff, he often
used their own weapons. One niLt he
observed a notorious reprobate sitting
buck' near the wall, chewing tobacco,
lie was one of the hard enses of the vil
lage, and drank more drams and swore
more oaths than any other two in it.
Burchard had no hope that ho came for
any gooa purpose; out, as was nis wont,
he made dircuily lor bun.
"Glad to see you here, brother V ,
he exclaimed, heartily. "Coining out on
the Lord's side to-night ?" ;
"No." i
"O, don't say that," Burchard urged.
The Lord has need for you. Won't you
V"
d sight I"
The surroundiug scalawags chuckled
at this bild shot; but Burchard, uot a
bit dashed, asked again :
"What won't join with
love your soul ?''
ee here, old fellow, don t you both
er me any more, was tne ruuc retort.
"I ve told vou 'no plain enough,
hain't IT i
."Well, then, Brother D ," said Bur-
cliard, smiling, and lowering his voice to
a confidential tdne, just give me a chaw
of tobacco, will you V
"A. penny for your thoughts,
said a gentleman to a pert beauty,
ars not worth a farthing, sir" she replied;
"I was thinkine of vou."
miss,"
They
Rather Cutting. -A passenger on
the Pacifio liailroad tells tho following
story : r " -':": "'
One-might while-the train stopped to
wood and water, I observed two green
looking countrymen, in "Humspun,'' curi
ously inspecting the locomotive and occa
sionally giving vent to expressions of as
tonishment. Finally one of them looked
up at the engineer and said, "Stranger,
are this a locomotive r -
. . -
certainly. Via t vou ever see one
before?" J.
"No, haven't ever saw one afore. Me'n
Bill come down to the station to-tiight
purpose to see one. Them's tho biler,
aint it r" . .
."Yes, certainly.".
"V hat yer call that your'e in ?"
"We call this the cab."
"And this big wheel ?"
-. "That's tha driving wheel."
"That big thing on top is the chimbly
I supposo V ...
"Precisely.""
"Be you the engineer wat runs the ma
chine?"
S !'I am the eneineer." '
"Bill," said the fellow to his mate, after
eyeing him closely for a few minutes,
-it aont tako much of a man to engineer,
doit?'
".Get out of, the way then I All
aboard 1"
come
"Not by a d-
thosc who
A hot fight for a quarter of a million
of dollars is being waged in Westchester
county, between a brother and two sisters.
We suppose they have forgotten the old
saw :
"Whatever brawls disturb the street.
There shaul l be peace at home ;
tVhero sifters dwell and brothers moet, j
Qujirols should never couie."
But then $250,000 furnish an excuse for
an exception tj the rule. John Bussing
tho father, of these children, wasa well
known farmer, residiug in Williambridge
in the town of Yonkcrs, possessing a
fortune of $250,000. During twenty
two years previous to his death he wjs
bed ridden, in consequeuce of melancho
lia. . It is allowed that his son, J. Bussing,
Jr., meanwhile, by threats, induced his
father to make a will, in which the
greater part of his immense fortune was
given to Bussing, Jr., and tho two
daughters were cut off with a, mere pit
tance. Bussing, Jr., expected that his
sisters would raise a row over this injus
tice, and he used strategy to get the
property into his own hands before his
father died. He was successful, having
secured the deed to a large amount of
real estate to himself, executed by the
elder Bussing. Since the death of tho
senior Bussing, the daughters haro instit
uted proceedings to contestthe will. Bus
sing, Jf., admits that he used violent lan
guage to his father in relation to the will
and the deed, and had struck the wall so
violently as to knock a holo iu the plaster
ing., The case has not yet terminated ;
but the testimony already elicited looks
badly for Busssing, Jr., who undoubted
ly got the deed by intimidating his fath-
er - JX.
A woman at Obcrlin, Ohio, ' collected
money for the , soldiers orphans, V and
used it to buy a bonnet. She' said' or
phans, after they got usod to it, could
get along without bread, but women must
have bounets.
VARIOUS ITEMS. j
A party of scientific gentlemen are
spending the Winter in the "Tip Top
House," on the summit ot mount asn-
mgtoD, iu the V hite Mountains of INew
Hampshire. A hey are supplied witn
every cemfort that experience suggests,
and spend their time in making observa
tions upon the state of the weather.! They
converse with their friends and receive
the news transpiring by means of the
tolegraph. On last Sunday morning, at 3
o'clock, they report that the thermometer
stood at 59 degrees below zero, with tbe
wind outside blowing at the rate of one
hundred miles an hour. In the interest
of science this is commendable, but such
intense cold must be disagreeably un
pleasant.
About twenty couples in New Orleans
have been greatly shocked upon learning
that a clerk in Judire Shellv's office
forged the name of the Judge to their
licenses, and appropriated to
his own use the money they paid; theie
for. They do not quite know hether
they are legally married or not, but some
of the ministers who performed the cer-
monics have been made aware iot the
trouble, and express their willingness ' to
bunch the business if called upon.
At a church dedication in Newport,
New Hampshire, recently, Rev. Ira Pear
son, who offered the dedicatory prayer
fifty years ago, performed the same , ser
vice in the new sanctuary, and j it was
ascertained that fifty three persons were
present who attended the dedication fifty
years before, in the former house
A blind farmer residing in Chenango
county, New York, near Norwich, has
twenty-four daughters. He bas been
married but once, and his wife' is still
living. They are wealthy, and as a fam
ily are a model of order and j domestic
happiness. ,
The admirers of the editor of the New
Orleans Picayune have presented him
wiih a house . It is three and a half
feet aiond lengthways, and j two and
three-quarters feet iu circumfejrance. and
was formerly tenanted by wasps.
A Church deacon in Texas, has got to
be hauled over the coals for threatening
to knock the nose off the sexton. The
sexton had too many cards in 1 is sleeve
in a game of draw poker. j
Some sinner has stolen the thermometer
fritn the Fond Du Lac Reporter office.
The paper iuforms the thief that it will
be of no use to him where he is going, as
it does not work higher that 813.
Cheap jewelry A dime and pin.
A good citizen of Middletown, Conn.,
who was auuoyed at seeing men at work
with their teams near church on Sunday,
went to a justice to enter complaint, aud
found him mending his boots.
Apropos of the effects of a diet of
horseflesh, exeuso is being found fur the
l'aiis National Guards, who ran away at
CrCtiel, on the pica that they had lately
been fed exclusively on race-horses.
A Buffalo man aggravates his wife by
wearing five bands ot' crape upon his hat,
which constantly reminds her that she is
the sixth sharer of his affections. '
A boy who once offered a dug for sale
was asked the breed of the pup. "lie
icon a pointer," replied the youth, "but
father cut off his cars and tail aud made
a bull dog of him."
A girl of twenty, at Altona.lll., is dig
ging a well fur her father at seventy-five
cents a foot. She has received three
offers of marriage since she be;;an. To
which wc say, "Ail's well that ends
we!l."
'Mamma," said an intelligent "little
girl, "what is the meaning of a book
being printed in 12mo?" "Why my
dear," replied the mother, "it means that
the book will be published in twelve
months."
A paper has an article headed with
the conundrum, "Why do wives fade ?"
We suppose it is because they won't
wash. Isn't it ? . -
A farmer, writing to the secretary of
an agricultural society, says : "You will
have the goodness to enter me on youY
list of cattle for a bull:'
A young lady, upon one occasion, re
quested her lover, to define love. "Well,
Sail," said be, "it is to mc an inward
impossibility and an outward allover-ncss."
An cuuor, speaking tit a rouh, says ;
The rascal has broken every bank and
jail and Sabbath we have had in this
country for the lajt five years. ,
Chicago is in the sulks because a young
inn y nas presumed to lecture it on mar
riage and divorce when she has tried
neither. She is told that there are any
number of people in Chicago who have
tried both.
At a lecture given in Frankfort, Indi
ana, not long since, the tickets read :
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they
shall see' God. Admit one." .. "
A sign in Bed Bank. N. J , reads thus :
"New maids and old maids clothing
always on hand."
What medicine are we reminded of by
man's beating his wife ? Elixir (he
NEW TO-DAY.
Patronize Home Manufactures t
B R 00 M S
At Portland Prices !
HAVING GONE LARGELY INTO
the manufacture of
ALL GRADES OF BR00US!
I am-prepared to furnish the Oregon public with
as good a broom as can be obtained on tha coast,
at Portland prices. Orders solicited.
Address all orders to BLAIN, YOUNG &
CO., Gereral Agents, Albany, Oregon. ;
. W. D. BEtDIXG.
Albany, December 3, 1870-13y
THE "SINGER" NEW
Family Sewing Machine,
With Attachments for aU kinds ef Work,
Is fast winninc favor in tne household,
as shown by the sales of last year, .
amounting to eighty-six thousand,
seven hundred and eighty one .
machines, which far exceed ,
those of any other Company. t, (
This new FAMILY MACHISE is capable of a
range and variety of work such aa was , thought
impossible a short time ago, to perform by ma
chinery. Wo claim, and can show those whom it
may concern, that it is tbe cheapest, moet beauti
ful, (ielicaUily arranged, nicely adjusted, easily
operated, and smoothly running of all the family
Sewing Machines. It is remarKaoic, noioniy iur
tho ran"e and variety of its sewing, but also for
tbe vsr'iety and different KIXDS OF TEXTURE
. . . ... , ...... i r
w tucn u will sew wun equal inciiiiy auu ,ov-
tion, using Silk Twist, Linen or Cotton inrean.
fine or coarso. making the lit lEIiLOCKIHJ
ELASTIC-STITCH, alike on both sides of tho
labrio sewn. Thus bcaer cloth, or leather, may
be sewn with great strength and uniformity of
stitch, and in a moment this willing and never
wearying machine may be adjusted lor fine work
on gauze or gossamer tissue, or the tucking of
tarelctnu, or ruffling, or almost any other work
whicli delicate fingers have been known to per
form. Purchasers csn soon be convinced that our new
Family machine embodies NEW and essential
principles simplicity of construction easo of
operation uniformity of PRECISE actio at any
speed capacity for range and variety of work,
fine or coarse, leaving all rivals behind it.
The Folding Cases.
Tbe New Family Machine may be had in a va
riety of folding covers and cases. Borne show in
polished surface only the grain and tint of the
wood, while others are finished in all the elabora
tion of art
The Attachments
For Itrmming. Felling, Ruffling, Braining, Bind
ing, Cording, uatucring, i netting, r.iuoroiucriug.
4c, are not only numerous, out now orougnt to
crcat pcrf etion. Most of them can be attached
or detached by a simple move of t!.e band.' The
quality of the work can oftly ha fully appreciated
on observation and exam;u:ition.
Machine" Twist.
Xiiien Thread, SpoU Cotton, OH. f-c.
We have and shall kc .1 in stfck ot our Ccntrat
Office, and Agencies, (on spools of various sixes).
Twist of all sizes and colors Linoii Thread,
pool Cotton, Oil, anil nil other link les necessary
iu the use of our machines.
We wi.-h it understood that wo manufacture the
Twist 4 old by. us; that we shall aim to bare it
excel in quality and exceed in quantity, for a
givn price, that of other manufacturers, and that
the Twist made by ua iu our new aud extensive
mills, supplied as tney are with the most improvea
machinery and skilled labor can bo relied on for
the desirable qualities of unii'ormity of size, even
ness, length of thread as marked on -each spool.
strength, excellence of color, and beauty of finish.
THE SINGER MANUFACTURING CO.,
oct29-8-3m No. 45S Broadway, New York.
John Andrews, who was digging a well
near Poplar Grove, Mo., was buried alive
by the earth caving in. As he wan forty
feet undor ground, the neighbors thought
it useless to dig him out j but John was
not of their opinion, and scratched his
way out unaided in seven, hours-
a man s beating his wife r Elixir (he
licks her. - '
If a hole made in a wall by a ' cannon
ball is called a breach, would , two .such
holes make a pair of .
One of tho most successful planters in
Wisconsin is a widow who has just buried
her sixth husband. i '
Making waist places glad Putting
your arm around a pretty girl. Briug on
all your waist places. , ' . 1
The New Jersey Legislature has rati
ffwl ia i? : r. . u .4 j .
l uitcuui vmenamenr. uetter
la to than never.
1 lie man who triod to arrange "his
uu wiiu aa ice picK, got into a nice
pickle..
, ... W hen a maiden gtts married sho ends
a miss-spent lite. ;
North Carolina has a widower of 144
who is looking around.
Tho Dearest an old bachelor gets to the
matiimonial harness A sir single
1 Queen Viotoria appropriately, seleots
widows for "ladies in waiting."
The handsomest Spanish nobleman A
Dou is. ' .'
A vocal amateur inquires if his voice
can be raised with ten or 'leven lessons.
- Tbe worst kind of education -To be
brought up by a policeman,
SAN
No.
FRANCISCO OFFICE,
139 Montgomery street.
S. A. JOIIIVS,
Agent for Albany. 1
THE NEW FOOD.
Mtpiiiilil
For a few csz.4.3 jci cn buy
of your Grocer- Ir-Ssist a
package of GEA ITCSS PASINE
made from pure Irish Moss or
Carrageen, which will maka
sixteen. quart3 cf Tlanc Mange,
and a like quanti' y c f Puddinga
Custards," Creann, Charlotte
Husoo, &c. It is tic cheapest,
healthiest and most delicioua
food in the world. It makes a.
splendid Dessert, and ha3 na
equal as a light and delicate
food for Invalids and Children
- A Glorious Char.ga!!. ; r
TIK3 great voi;:y ,'v.dxid
Plantation Bitters. ;
Tliis woistlerftil vcgrtiibie re
storative is tlie sltcet-anrlior of
tlic feeble nnd Jotilitatcl. A n
tonic and cordial for tU6 ngcfl
and lanenid, it I:aa no elitist
nnio:i; stoinacUics. Aa a. rcjaedy
for tJie ncnow vrealmrt. ;
w !i i cU women are especi a 11 y u !-.
feet, it i superseding every o2ir
siiuiuiant. In nil ctim:sfcs,trojrJ
csl, temperate, r f j-isii!, i t g-'cti
a i t:ecnc in every ppccles of
i:: c:C:r xvZ.icTi tinCerttiir.M li
: tr:x:s?j snrt fcrcast 4 vxi
:r.: T:y.