Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Feb. 4, 1871)
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. NEW TO-DAY, TO PHYSICIANS. New York, August 15, I3G3. Allow me to call vour attention to my PREP ARATION OF OOMPOUXl EXTRACT BU CHI'. Tbe component part are, BCCHCXong Leaf CCBEBS, JUNIPKlt BEERIES. Mote of llrcparution: Buehu, in vacuo. Ju niper Berries, ky distillation, to forma, fine gin. t'ubebs extracted by displacement with spirits obtained from Janvier Berries ; very little sugar is oscd, and a smalt proportion of spirit. It is more palatable than any now in use. Bucha as prepared by Druggists, is of a dark color. It is a plant that emits its fragrance ; the action of flame destroys this (its active principle) leaving a dark and glnUnous decoction. Mine is the color of ingredients. The Buchu in my prep aration predominates ; the smallest quantity of the other ingredients are added to prevent fer mentattoa ; iipoa inspection it will be found not to be a Tincture, as mado in Pharmaoopcea, nor is it a Syrupy- and therefore can be used in cases where fever or inflammation exists. In this, you have the knowledge of the ingredients and the mode of preparation. '"' Hoping that yon will favor it with a trial, and that upon inspection it will meet with your appro bation, with a feeling of profound confidence, I am very respectfullv, H . t. heLmisolk, Chemist and Proggbt of 19 Yean' Experience. IS HEREBY' GIVEN, THAT I HAVE opened a '- sLivery and Fced Stable ! in the town of LtBAXQN. where J. will bo con stantly on hand to attend to the wants of the people. r I will run a hack from Albany to Lebanon and Soda Spring?, on Saturday o each week. All business entracted to my care will be promptly attended to. -J W. fc. DONACA. i Lebanon, Sept. 10, 170 lv3m.'5 . ' John Cutts' Secret. BET ON THE ELECTION ! Is Mr : tit iip s Auy one who wants to -win can do so by calling on , I; C- HILL'&'SOIV. WHO, thankful for past patronage, still in- vite the attention of Linn county et ., to their unequalled stoek of DRUGS, MEDICINES, CHEMICALS, PAINT & VARNISH BRUSHES, PAINTS, OILS, VARNISHES, ALCOHOL KEROSENE, WINDOW GLASS, : i trusses,- :: FANCY? AND T0TX.ET ARTICLES, ETC. Agents for Ir. 1. Jayne Son's preparations, II. 11. H. Horse Medicines, etc. - Do you like medicine fur it bitter or nauseat ing taste Ve have that description. Do you want the effect with an aromatic taste ? After taking a fow doses of our Elixir, 'twill bo so very 1 pleasant that your prejudices. - AT nut ann.lv ,nn , t . . and the preparation - Will lose the name o physic. : -,.-(but not the effect.) - , ' Physicians and customers from the country may rest assured that their orders will be prompt ly attended to. Prescriptions carefully aud eor rcctly compounded. Haveyoo the impolite. guest called acorn? We sell "Corn Slayer," which surelv does the work. I without pain. Do you desire a book of any kinf , a i.oiii i'en, an Album, Stationery, or such ? W . S. Driggs is with us, for the accommodation of all favoring him with a call. r. Cutts in : asked a p-enttamnn whoj having kuocked at a door, was saluted a woman from an upper win dow with, -4Welli-whats a , waritin' naow?" . - "Yes, he's in or about somewhere, I suppose," she replied; "but I'm Mr. Cutts when any business is to be done, lie's Mr. Cutts eatiu' and drinkin, and sleepin' sometimes.", "Well, my good woman," said the gentleman, "I think he will be Mr. Cutts tor my business too. I wish to see him." "What do you want of him ?" asked the shrew, thrusting her head still further out of the window. To do something for me. Rut I must see him myself," was the reply. "Is it raal business, for pay, or only a favor you want I can let your hoss have a peek of oats, or I can direct you to the shortest road to the Four Corners, or I can I can why I can do anything for you that he could, and a good deal more. I take the nioucy and write the receipts, and pay the men, and I take off. the produce. I m as good a judge ot stock as he is, and I can't be beat on horse flesh." "Rut," said the : gentleman, drawing down his face solemuly, "you can't take hi3 place now. Find him for me at once." The shrew was baffled. "Look a here, Mister, may be you don't know the cir cumstances of the case. - This here farm is mine, and it was my father's afore me, and Cutts he haiut no more claim to it than the hen down there has. . And be- j sides I'm seven years older than he is, a j foot higher, and weigh twenty pounds more. Y hat s your,, pusiness ou my as (From the largest Manufacturing Chemists in th - World.) "''V-'''5 " November ,4, 1854. "I am acquainted with Mr. II. T. Helmbol d he occupied the drug store opposite my residence and was successful in conducting the bnsines where others bad not been equally so before him I hare been favorably impressed with bis charac ter and enterprise." ' WILLIAM "WEIGHTM AX, ' Firm of Powers A Weightman, Manufacturing vcmisrs, Ainu ana isrown-sts., 1'niladelpn ia - p ' ' V" . . , Do von want a fina W nt.-li . t r,f T.. w.l t-v cheap or dear? J. D.Titus sells the same, under j place, if I may make SO bold ?" the same roof. -. - i 'To see and talk with your husband," Come and see us. Buy a Buck. BuyaYiateh. ; ,. j . ,i Buy a Pill. Buy something or nothing, but come replied the gentleman, getting out of Ins and see us, anyway. A well sprinkled floor and ' chair and hitching his horse to a post, as a cool drink of water io the summer, an J a warm ! jf he meant to stay Until he did See stove surrounuou ny comfortable cnairs in winter constantly kept for the accommodation of all. Albany. May 14, '70-36 r. h. Mcdonald & co., WHOLESALE DRUGGISTS SAN rSAHKSCO, CAXu, I I JE ILs IX J3 OLD'S FLUID EXTRACT ' 15 U C H U , For weakness arrising from indiscretion. The ex hausted powers oi K at are which are accompanied by so many alarming symptoms, among which will be foond. Indisposition to- Exertion, Loss of Memory . Wakefulness, Horror of Disease,' or Forebodings of Evil . in Tact, Universal Lassitude Prostration, and inability to enter into the enjoy ments of society. The Constitution one effected with Organic Weakness, requires the aid of Medicine to strengthen and invigorate the system, which HELMBOLD'S EXTRACT BC CUU ia variably doea, .If no -treatment is sub mitted, to, Cvnsuation or Insanity ensues. Celcjbwld's Fluid Extract Bacha to aHectfaws peculiar to Females, is unequalled by any other preparation, as in Chlorosis, or Reten tion, Painfolness, or Suppression of Customary evacuations, 1' lee rated or Scirnu state of tbe Uterus, ad all complaints inetlental to the sex, x the decline or change of life. ; msisirrooisD's E"! aid Ex tract or Buchu, ' ".- ':."'; . " ASB "y " .' Improved Itose r Wash, will radically exterminaia from the system dis ease arising from habits of dissipation , at little expense, little or no change is diet, no ineonvea. sees or exposure; completely superseding those wpwwn mm vawgervua resaeaica, Uopaara and joisfCBrj , ia sy iw e uueasvs. HeIm1oIIs ' Fluid extract ISucIiu m aO aTseane aT these ergaas, whether existing hi male or fesaale, from whatever cause oririnat- WJT; an as aaatter of how long standing. It is fOraaaac ha taateaad odor, "immediate" in action, aoel cnsMW strenrtheainar than snv of the wtnn. skms of Bark or Iron. - . Xhoea suffering from brckeu down or delicate ewBattn&ons, procure the remedy at once. ' " Xoo aeader most b aware that, however alight "J ! auaca oi wo aoovo Meases, It Is eer twin t effect toe bodily health and mental nowers All too above disease require tbe aid of a Di- wrene uetmoold Extract oi Bacbu ia th great Cstiraiig. . , . . - Sotd B TJrvggiats everywhere. Price $1.2J mte-beatlsv r botU for $6.60. Delivered to ny asCrsresc. : SeMtibo symptom is all eomma Bwayn. . Call tbe attention of Dealers to their Urge assort, meat of Newly Arrived " Goods, composed In part of the following- articles, together with every thing kept in a well supplied WHUL.E BAL.E DBl'U STORE. Fxcsb Dares. I Tiidxs's Pbspabat'kb Patxxt Msicixxs, I DBceetsTs SrKDBixs, Tbcssxss: ScppoaTxxs I Shakxb Hxkbs, Essbxtiai. Oils. I PxarcnxBixs, Kiioiui Oil, Faisthxb Oils, Which we offer at the lowest Cash Prices, and are determined not to be undersold. b. h. Mcdonald a co., sax fbaxcisco, cal rOR SALE, Our Drug Business located in Pan Fran cisco, Cal. Alter our best wishes, ami express ing our thanks for the liberal patronage we hare received for niore than twentv-ono years, during which period we have been steadily engaged in the Drug business in California, we beg to say in consequence of the rapid growth of Dr. Walker's California Vinegar Hitters, now spread over the United States and countries far beyond, we are necessitated to devote our entire time to said business. "- We are the Oldest Drug firm on the Pacific Coast and the only one. continuous under the same proprietors since 1840, and have determined to sell our large, prosperous, and well established business on favorable terms. Ihis is a rare opportunity for men with means, of entering into a profitable business with advan tages never before offered. . s For particulars enquire of . R. II. McDOXALD A CO.. ' K. H. McDojiLD, ) Wholesale Druggists. J. C. Spekcer, - Pan Francisco, Cal. N. B. Until a sale is raadc wo shall continue our importations and keep a large stock of fresh goods constantly on hand, and sell at prices to defy competition. - . Toe Great Medical Discovery! " Dr. WALKER'S OAIXFOKKXA. I VINEGAR BITTERS, "" si Hundreds of Thousands Sf Bear testimony to their Wonder- s asr tnl Curative Kffecta. t Co i WHAT ARE TH EV 9 5p5 " 9 5 i ;gla 3s lis 65 F IX. T. BELBIBOLD, Xtstg-aa4 Cbemieal 'Wareheaae, 6H Broadway, Hew fork. -' iSLSWon saw gsnwia a ales don wo is steel er craved wnBpr,with fa-si sails of my Chemical cemfcowM, a4 tge Sv3y TTT17 V A T m VVl A XTTT 7 AN CY DR1N K.lsf Made of Peer Sam, Whisker Proof ' ewtrlta aad Kef a an L.lqaera doctored, spiced and sweetened to please the taste, called Ton l,"" Appetisers." Restorers ae that lead ", the tippler on to drunkenness and ruin, but are a true Medicine, made from the Native Boots and Herbs of California, free from all Alcoholic. ' Stimulants. They are the URBAT BLOOD 1 PURIFIES and LIFE GI VINO PRIN- CIPIiK perfect Benovator andlnvlgorator of the System, carrying off all poisonous matter and restoring the blood to a healthy condition. No person can tak these Bitters according to direc tion and remala long unwell. ; v For Iilusiutsrr wad Chronic Ekss. aaatlsaa wad doat, Dyaaepsia or Indi . etat Billsaa, Kemittent and Inter , wsltieat Vevera, Dtaoaaea of the Blood, . Liver, Kldneya, and Bladder these Bit tor have been most successful. Such Dis . caused by Vitiated Blood,, which la geaerally produced by deranseSent of the JDlestive Orcans. JV8PCP8IA OH INDIGESTION. Headache. Pala in the Shoulders. Coughs, Tight ness ot the Chest, Dlrxiness, Sour ErucUttons of the Stomach, Bad taste tp the Mouth Billons At tacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Inflammation of the Lungs, Pala la the regions of the Kidneys, and a hundred other painful symptoms, are the off springs of Dyspepsia. They Invigorate the Stomach and stimulate tbe torpid liver and bowels, which render them of nn- equalled efflcacy In cleansing the blood of all Impurities, and Imparting new life and vigor to tbe whole system. - FOB SKIN DISEASES, Bruptlons,Teter, Salt Bbeum, Blotches. Spots, Pimples, Pustules, Boils, Carbuncles, Ring-Worms, Scald-Head. Sors Xyes, Erysipelas, Itch, Scurfs, Discoloration of the Skin, Humors and Diseases ofth Skin, of whatever name or nature, are literally dug up and carried out of the system la a short tiroo by the was of these Bitters. One bottle In such esses will convince the most incredulous of their curative effects. Cleanse the Vitiated Blood whenever you find ' its impurities bursting through the skin la Pim ples, Ernptloa or sores; cleanse it whea yoa and It ohstraesed and alaggtib In th veins; cleanse it whea it is foul, and your feeling will sell yea whea. Keep the blood pure and the .. health of the system will follow. - PIN, TAPE and other WORMS, lurking In th systemof so many thousands, are effectually destroyed and removed. For full directions, read carefully ma circular around each bottle. , j X WAJLEKBr Proprietor. B. H. McDONALD & CO., Druggist na Oca. Agents. 8aa Francisco, Cal,, and S3 and M Commerce Street. New Tork. SOLD BY ALL DKCGCIST& AND DEALERS. stay him. "15e you a doctor f 'Cause there ain't a living thing the' matter with Cutts. lie's the tveliest man in the town, and so be I," said this "woman for the times." "Xo, my good woman, I'm not a doc tor. Do you think your husband will be in soon f Send that boy to find him," said the stranger. The boy looked up in his mother's face, but he knew his own interest too well to start without orders. "Then you're a minister, I suppose, by your black coat. I may as well tell you and save you time, that we don't go, to meeting, and don't want to. It ain't no use for you to leave no tracts nor nothing, for 1'vo got a big dairy and hain't no time to idle away readin', and ! I keep him about so -early and late that 1 when he's done work he's glad 10 go to i bed and rest V "I'm no minister, madam ; 1 wish I was though, for your sake," said the gen tleman. "Send for your husband ; I cannot wait much longer. I must see him at once." The boy started to his feet again and looked in his mother's eye, but it gave no marching orders. "Look here, mister" now appearing at the door and looking defiantly at him you're a schoolmaster huntiti' np a district school, and you think he's a com mitteeman, but he ain't this year." "Ma'am Cutts," as the neighbors called her, dropped her hands at her side and hessred a groan. She had found a man she couldn't manage. "See here, now, Mister," said she, "I can read a boy right through, and I knew what you was the blessed minute I clap ped my eyes on you. I can tell yon by your everlastin' arguiu' that you are a" lawyer.' We hain't got no quarrels, don't want no deeds drawed or wills made so if you're huntin' a job of my husband, you may as well hitch your horse and drive on. AVe know enough to make a little money, and I know enough to hold on to it." . "3Iy good woman, you entirely mis understand my errand. I can tell no per son but himself what it is, and must tell him in confidence alone. If he choses, he my break it to you the best way he can." " "Oh, my goodness sakes alive! Broth er's life btowed up in the Mississippi boat, I bet 1 Oh, la me, the poor fel low ! lie left a little something, didn't he?" "I never heard of him, and nobody's blowed up, that I know of," replied the gentleman. . "Oh, now I know 1 You're the man what wants to go to Congress, ha ! and have come here huntin' after votes. II o shall not vote for you ! I hate politicians, .especially them that goes again woman, and thinks they were made to drudge, and nothin' else I I go in for white folks -"men and women for scripture says : 'There isn't neither men nor women, but all's one id politics.' I believe the day is com in' when such as you. and me will have to bow the knee to woman, afore you can get the big places and high places that's a eating us up. with taxes. You can't see my husband. We are goin' to the poll on the way to the mill, and I'll promise you that he votes right," "I'm no candidate, and I don't know who you are talking about. Ah ! there comes the man I want." And the stran eer went toward Mr. Cutts, who had just leaped a pair of bars which led from the potato patch into the lane. Mrs. Cutts flew into the house for her sun bonnet, to follow them ; but by the time she got to the bars, her mysterious visitor at.d Cutts were driving rapidly down the road. - v The strong-minded woman shouted after her husband : "You'd better come back, I tell jou I" but the wind was the wrong way, and carried her words into the potato patch. ' "Sir," said the gentleman to honest Cutts, "I have a -very simple question to ask you, but I shall havo to ask you : in confidence, and I will give you five dol lars if you will promise not to repeat my words until to-morrow." ' 4; "Well, sir," 8aid Cutts, "I shouldn't like to answer any questions that would make trouble among my neighbors. : I have my hands full. I can tell vou. to keep out of scrapes now, but I've done j it, and hain't an enemy in the world x snow. ,lUut, sir, you needn't reply to my question unless you are perfectly will ing," said the stranger. "Ask your question," said Cutts, "and I will not repeat it." "Well, Mr. Cutts, I am laying fence on the Brislcy place, that I have just bought and I was directed to inquire of you where I could buy cedar posts. A fejlow in the store said : 'Cutts can tell you, if his wife will let him, but she won't. She'll insist on telling you herself, and perhaps offer to drive you where ever you go to crder them.'" ;"I told them I would see you and ask you only, aud the fellows bet on it. They are to give you ten dollars, and to two or three widows in town a cord - of wood each if I 'succeed in asking- you this question alone, and making sure your wife does not know my business until af ter breakfast to-morrow morning." Cutts knew his wife's "standing" too well to'feel very sensitive, and taking the bill from the stranger, he smiling said : "I'll go with you to look out cedar posts and keep dark, for the joke's sake ; but I don't know as she'll let mc stay in the house to-night ; I don't own it," re plied the good-natured Cutts. "Suppose you go to the place and see to petting the posts. I will send a boy to tell her you had to go off suddenly, on a little business, and be back in the morning," said the stranger. "I'll do that," replied Cutts, "for I never quarrel with her, but let her have her own way. I don't want to worry myself about trifles." "Good man," said the stranger, "there are no trifles in this life. The smallest act is important, and the easy good na ture of yours will ruin your family. Baffle that spirit to-day, and next Sun day take your boys and go to the house of God, whatever she says, and be a real man at the head of your own house and family." "It's rather late to begin," said Cutts shaking his head in a way that would have warned others from the trap in which Jiis feet were fast. "You see tho purse is hers," he added, "and that has been a crueler fetter than her will to me. But I will try to begin anew, for her good and the children's. : The boy was sent with the message, but he wasn't sharp enough. Madam Cutts discovered the whereabouts of her lord, tackled np and went after him. All the way home and far into the night, she used her eloquence, both in pleadings and threatenings, to find out the mysterious errand of that hateful town nabob who had come into the coun try to separate happy families. But Cutts yielded himself up to a "dumb spirit" for the night, and,, no measure? could induce him to talk on any subject, lest she should pry the mighty secret out of him. ' About midnight she wore herself out jand went to sleep; but at daybreak she began again. 11c then ventured to say . "As soon aa breakfast is over, I'll break the news to you." "You'll never eat a morsel in my house, I can tell you," cried Xantippc, "till you tell me what the man wanted of you." v "Then yon'll wait a good while to hear if," said Cutts, "for I have vowed I'd never tell it unjtil I had first eaten my breakfast," aud with these words he went out. Madam Cutts endured tho torture as long as possible, and then gut breakfast. She called at the door, to no one in par ticular, "Come." But Cutts didn't come. . After awhile she went out to the barn, and found him seated on an upturned half-bushel meas ure, calmly peeling and catiug a raw turnip. "It does seem as if this ere man had possessed you. Your breakfast is coolin' ; do come in." Hero was a point gained. . Cutts went in as directed, and ate his breakfast. When that was over, ma'am seated herself back in her chair, with her face full of expectation, acd said : "Now begin. What did that ere man want?" "He wanted some cedar posts plied Cutts, calm'y, without look! n; "and that was all." If an arrow had struck Madam 'Cutts she could not have manifested more sur prise and shame. "I am the laughing-stock of this town," added Cutts, "and from this hour I turn over a new leaf. I'm henceforth head of my family, and unless this house is made mine, I shall finish off a room in the barn which is mine and you will be welcome to share it with me. If not, I will live there with my boys, and you will find me a civil neighbor." Ma'am Cutts power was broken. Since then the farm has been called "John Cutts' place," and he's the head of the house. roup; A Infective' Ntory. "Madam, it is my duty to arrest you ?" -"You dare not !" The lips were white with-passion rather than fear, and the lady stood before me a lioness at bay. Even then I could not help but note the splendid beauty of this grand lady. Tall and slender, eyes black and flashing almost lurid now th j spectacle she presented, standing there in the middle of the apartment, - was more the appearance of a queen than a hunted criminal. "I.must," I Teplicd. "I do not doubt your innocence. Looking into your face it is strange that any ono could couple it with guilt; but lam constrained to do my duty, madam," however inimical it may bi to my feelings." - - .--, , "Will you allow me ; to change my dress ?" she said in a tone almost pleas ant. The hard lines around the mouth had relaxed, and the passionate glow on the face gave way to a more pleasant smile. " 'Certainly; I will wait here;" I "I wish also to send a messenger in -friend ; will you permit him to pass ?" This was my first interview with Euge nia Cornille, I had seen her for months the leader of our gayest and most fash ionable society. In her splendid mansion Bhe dispensed the most profuse and ele gant hospitality. A Spanish lady a widow sho had represented herself and had been a resident here almost a year. No one ever suspected her being aught than what she seemed, until one day I was ordered to arrest her as a murderess. It was now alleged that this young beauty was no other than a woman who had poisoned her husband in Havana, and fled with all his wealth. An im mense reward was offered for her appre hension, and the circumstances that had come to our knowledge pointed her out beyond all doubt as the person we were in search of. Yet the person who recoo--ntzed her the evening before at the thea tre advised us to be careful lest she should escape-us. I laughed at the idea. Mr. I. and myself were surely sufficient to ar rest a lady. We were old enough in the ways of cunning to defeat such an attempt. When the lady left me I stepped to the window and said to Mr. I., who was wait ing at the door : ; ' "The lady desires to send a messenger for a friend ; suffer him to pass." Almost at the same instant -the door of the apartment opened, and a youth apparently a mulatto boy came out. and passed hurriedly thro' the room into the hall, and was, no doubt, the messenger, I thought, and and I picked up a book and commenced reading. Nearly an hour passed, and still the lady did not make her appearance, nor did the: boy return. The friend she had sent for must live at some distance, I thought, or the lady is unusually careful, about her toilet; and so another hour went by. At last I grew impatient, and knocked at the door. . "Madam, I can wait no longer." - i There was no reply. I .knocked re peatedly, and at last determined to force an entrance. Strange fears harrassed me. I began to suspect, I know not what. -It took but a moment to drive in the door, and once in the apartment the mys tery was revealed. The robes of the lady lay upon the floor, and scattered over the room were suits of boys' wearing apparel, similar to that worn by the mulatto boy. On the table was a cosmetic that would stain the skin to a light delicate brown. I was foiled for a surety ; tho lady had escaped in the disguise of a messenger ; I should have detected the ruse ; I felt humiliated, and determined to redress the error. I knew she would not remain in the city an instant longer than she could get away. I hurried to her bank ers, but found that sho had already drawn the amount due her an hour before. "Who presented the check ?" I asked4 of the clerk. "A mulatto boy. It was made paya ble to bearer." There was 3-et a chance. The French steamer left within an hour; it was pos sible she would seek that means of escape. I jumped into a cab and arrived there ten minutes before she left the wharf just in time to assist an aged, decrepid gentleman into the cabin. There were few passengers, and none of them answer ed the description of the person I sought. I stood on the wharf watching the reced ing vessel until it disappeared. I was in the act of turning away when a hack- j man approached me with the remark : . "Mr. F., did you see that old man on board ? lie had a long, white beard,. and hair that fell on his shoulders." Yes." "Well there's something curious about him." "Why?" "Why, sir, when he got into my car riage he was a mulatto boy, and when he got out he was an old mau." I will not repeat the expression I used then it was neither refined or polite, for I knew the vessel would be far out to sea bo fore she could be overtaken. I was foiltd by a woman. Nor could I help rejoicing now that the chase was over, that she had escaped. Innocent or guilty, there was a charm about her none could resist. The spell of her wondrous beauty affected all who approached her. It lingers in my memory- yet ; and I could not have the stain of her blood upon my conscience." Jo UN ClIlNAMAN MARRIED MELLICAN Fashion. Yesterday forenoon a gallus looking Celestial, with a well-oiled tail hanging down to his heels, followed by a robust specimen of the Flowery Kingdom, with her hairdresscda la fan-tail-pigeon, came to J ustice Jbllis court-room to be married. "Mcllican style." "You have got license, John 1" asked the Judge. 1 - - "Yes, me hab got," answered John; "me go one cote house, one law man, me heap catchec license." "Well, you likee me marry you Mellican fashion ?" "Yes, likee all same one Mellican man." "You got any wife now, John V : John, astonished- "No, ' me no hab got one wifee. -Me likee catchee wifce; me likee catchee Kim," pointing to the almon-eyed female at his side. . "Are you married?" asked the Judge of the Celestial ; "you got one man ?" man.. Me one one country he come die What's your name Confucius and the Girls. Confucious, who is highly esteemed by over four hundred millions of Chinese as Jesus among Christians, was bom 546 years before Christ, and died 473 B. C, at the age of 73. Tho empire was di vided into provinces called kingdoms. Confucius found that interest, avarice, ambition, dissipation, false policy, pleas ure and luxury prevailed in all these lit tle courts. lie undertook to banish all these, and accordingly, began to preach and to .practice the virtues of modesty, disinterestedness, equity, temperance, and contempt of riches and pleasures. He rose to distinction, and though offices were urged upon him, he refused to ac cept them, in order that he might not be diverted from his great work. Atleogth, having made so good an impression upon the court of the kingdom of Loo, in which he resided, he accepted an office in the administration. lie was so thorough in reforming the king and his court, as well as the people at largo, that the jealously and alarm of the neighboring kings was greatly excited.- "Among these," says the Chinese historian "The king of Tsi was alarmed. He held seveial councils with his principal ministers, and after frequent deliberations it was concluded that, under pretence of an embassy,, they should make a present to the King of Loo and to the grandees of his court of a great number of young girls of extraor dinary beauty, who had been instructed from their infancy in singing and dancing, and were possessed of all the charms that were likely to please and . captivate the heart." '. j ' :, The stratagem succeeeded. The king, his court and the grandees crave them selves up to the entertainments1 of the girls, and devoted themselves, more to the invention of new diversions for them than to the administration of the State. Confucius remonstrated, and tried to bring them back to sobriety, simplicity and virtue, but in vain. Ho threw up the office in disgust and left his native country for other people, more fit to rel ish and practice his maxims. ' The influence of the girls is considera ble to this day, even in our own! country. The greatest of philosophers waji bo com pletely beaten by them that he was com pelled to consider all as lost for the King dom of Loo. i . A Bill of expense to William of Prussia. his country "No, me no got one man China time." "Well, all right. John ?" : - - . - "Me namee Su-u-ung Fung." "What, Some Fun?" "No, one names Su-u-o-ung Fu-o-ng." "Oh, Sing Fun ! Well, what's her name the woman's ?" - "Who, him? Ilim namee Ilo-yo Go Ye." - V ,.,,s, . "Hoy Goy 1 All right, you stand up here. Take her by the hand, John. No, stand this way. Not that hand, this hand. Now, John, what's your name ?" "Mo namee Su-u-ung Fun." r "Now, John Sung Fung you takee him woman; what you callee him name, John ?" "Callee him Ilo-ye Go yc." : "You takee him, Hoy Goy, to be your wife, and promise to keep her heap good ; heap plenty rice give her eatee, no kick her, be good man all the time, hey?" ' John "You bet me belly good man Judge. Me ho kick him plentee." - Judge "Now, you hore, Hog Eye, or whatever your other name is, you takee him all time; no run off; cook him rice all time bet your life?"- Hoy Goy "Me one good woman; cookee uru ricce, no run away all the time, stav housee all time bully -wifee me." . J udge "All rightce. Me plenty pow er ; me big mandarin two swordee man mc tellec you all one piccee one piecee man, one piecee wifce Plentee fix all dooe. John, cash. John, mony sale?" John paid up, but was determined (so pleased to find himself married "Mellican fashion') to have a bit of a blow out. He sent out for wine and glasses, and treated all hands. After this was over the pair struck out for Chinatown; remarking: 'Hi yang chin powe, sung te pin chin tow-ee Una!' as they went, which shows that they were highly delighted with the "Mellican" marriage ceremony. T7r giuia City Kn'.erprise. VARIOUS ITEMS. "Oft in the stilly night . Ere slumber's chain hath bound me," My mother brings the light. . And- tucks the clothes around me. A New York correspondent writes that "mention is made of an alliance near at hand between a four story stone house with carriage and servants, and a fortune on top of it 250,000 on tho one hand, encumbered by 200 pounds of flesh and blood,, with the bloated countenance of a widower; and on tho other a chignon and trousseau, a smattering of French, and a love of the world, the . flesh and devil, all done up in the painted form of a fashionable young lady. Sixty Swedish girls, some pretty all willing to work, and all yo'ung, passed through Pittsburg last week on the way to Missouri. Thev had all been secured situations in advance as houshold ser vants. A dentist, trying in vain to extract a decayed tooth from a lady's mouth, gave up the task with this apology : "The fact is, madam, it is impossible for any thing bad to-come from your mouth. "What's the difference between the North Pole and Soutty Pole?" "Why, all the difference in the world," replied a lady unwittingly; and that's the answer. A school-girl was recently asked at an examination, by tho gentleman, to tell him what Adam lost by his fall ; and when pressed, she replied : "I suppose it was his hat." Big sister : "Ob, papa, I must go to hear Nilsson. You know I am so fond of music." Juvenile brother triumph antly : "Then why don't you let me play on my drum ?" A Boston lady being asked if she was an admirer of Trollope's novels, replied, "Yes, I havo always been a Trollopolo gcr." Gail Hamilton charges that as a rule women do whatever work they have to do badly and don t keep their engagements. Mrs. Ingham, of Iowa, will live ia history as the woman who delivered a Thanksgiving sermon while her husband proudly sat back of the-pulpit holding the baby. ff Young Swell "I eav, boy. what do youdo with your clothes when you've worn them out?" Bov "Wears" 'em 'ome agin l"1 A lady writing about Mormonism wants to know if half a husband, such as can be obtained in these days, is not better than a whole one. Baltimore's last obituary concerns a colored lady aged 122, who was.ofoourse on intimate terms with General Wash ington. . Baron Gerolt's youngest daughter will be married soon in Washington to a no bleman, while the eldest will take the veil. ' ' Mrs. Stanton says that her physiciaVs advice don't help her case a bit, a she always did talk. "as little as possible." A clergyman offers up prayers" for the Legislature of his State, which he says, is disposed to repeal even the Ten Commandments. - Men are like potatoes they do know how soon they may be in hot ter, " " A Chicago saloon is called "Lamb's Rest. Folks look sheepish when tbey como out. When a chicken has the toothaohe, what does it expect ? That a chicken will by-and-by come-to pullet. NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. Patronize Home Manufacture i OR O O MS A.t laPortlaiidL JPriees I HAVING GONE LARGELY INTO tho manufacture of , '?- -.. i ALL GRADES OF CP.OOr.,3 ! v i -.. 3.1. ! ArMirn nnhlla with as good a broom a can b obtained on th coast, , at Portland nrices. . UrtlorS souciieu. ::. - - . . -v voirsn Address all orders to aa.m.a, a " CO., Gereral Agents, Albany, Oregon. v, tier nrvn Albany, December 8, 1870-13T THE "SINGER" NEW Family Sen ins: Machine,' With Attachments for all kinds of Work, Is fast winning favor in the household, as ehown by the sales of last year, amounting' to eighty-six thousand, -seven hundred and eighty one machines, which far exceed those of any other Company. . j TLis new FAMILY MACHINE Is capable of range and variety of work such as was thought, impossible a short time ago, to perform by ma chinery. Wo claim, and can show those whom it may concern, that it is tbe cheapest, most beauti ful, delicately arranged, nicely adjusted, easily operated, and smoothly running of all the family Sewing Machines. It is remarkable, not only for tbe range and variety of its sewing, but also for the variety and different KINDS OF TEXTURE which it will sew with equal facility and perfec tion, using Silk Twist, Linen or Cotton Tbread,. fine or coarse, making the IN 1ERLOCK ED ELASTIC STITCH, alike on both sides of the fabric sewn. Thus beaver cloth, or leather, may be sewn with great strength and uniformity of titcb, and in a moment this willing and never wearying machine may be adjusted for fine work on gauze or gossamer tissue, or the tucking of tareletan, or ruffling, or almost any other work which delicate fingers have been known to per form. Purchasers can soon be convinced that our new Family machine embodies NEW and essential principles simplicity, of construction ease of operation uniformity of PRECISE action at any speed capacity for range and variety of work, fine nr ,flBrA. Ir-nvin rr mil rivAljl tifhiml it. The Folding Case. The New Family Machine may be bad in a va riety of folding covers and cases. Some show in polished surface only tbe grain and tint of the wood, while others are finished in all the elabora tion of art ' The Attachment For Hemming, Felling. Unfiling, Braining, Bind ing, Cording, Gathering, Tucking, Kmbruidering, Ac., are not only numerous, but now brought to great perfection. Most of them can bo attached or detached by a simple move of the hand. The quality of the work can only be fully appreciated on observation and examination. Machine Twist. Linen Thread, Sjxwl Catlnu, OU, f-e. We have and shall keup in stock at our Central Office, and Agencies, (on spools of various sizes), Twist of all sizes and colors Linen Thread. Spool Cotton, Oil, and all other articles necessary in tbe use of our machines. We wish it understood that we manufacture the Twist sold by us ; that we shall aim to have it excel in quality and exceed in quantity, for a given price, -that of other manufacturers, and that the Twist made by as in our new and extensive mills, supplied as they are with the most improved machinery and skilled labor can be relied on for the desirable qualities of uniformity of sire, e-ian noss, length of thread as marked on each spool" strength, excellence of color, and beauty of finish, THE SINGER MANUFACTURING CO., oct29-8-3m No. 458 Broadway, New York. BAN FRANCISCO OFFICE, . - No. 139 Montgomery street. Hit. S. A. JOHNS, - - Agent tor Albany. THE NEW FOOD. not wa- For a few cents you can buv of your Grocer or Eriissist a package of SEA MOSS FAKINE made from pure Irish Moss or Carrageen, wMch will make sixteen quarts cf Elanc Mange, and alike quantity cf Pudding3 Custards, Creams, Charlotte Itusse, &c. It is the cheapest, healthiest and most delicious food in the world. It makes a splendid Dessert; and has no equal as a light and delicate food for Invalids and Children. A Glorious Change! I :' THE CRKAT WOIU.CS TOXIC. Plantation Bitters. ; . This wonderful vcgrtable i-c-storative i (lie slieet-anclior nf tbe feeble aud debilitate)!. -As a tonic and cordial for t lie aged and languid, It Isas no -ninl among stomachics. As it rriucdy for ; tlie ncrrout tvi'afcnwa -t wltich women are csiccrj: y&ub Jcci, it is upercdiiigvery otJier ! imulant. In nil cliniKte, f rej;i ca:, temperate, frigid, It ct a it iocinc in every ;x-ciei cf isorttfj- wliiclt :ts:etsi:iCt tlo to tl" .' r tr-. i:-jf : :niM;rc-r;4: 6r. n t:. ;::;:! fp'.rlti. I "or try U ' - i.ti, v.-... : 1 i-. i :