VOL. 2.
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, AUGUST 27, 1870.
NO.. 51..
Wlu jptog Agister.
PUBLISHED EVERY SATCRDAV BY
COLL. VAA" CLEVE.
office ox cor.neu op ferut and first-sts.
TERMS IS ADVANCE.
'ne Year..... .' Three Dullars
Six Moi. s Two Dollars
Single Copies Ten Cents
ADVERTISING RATES.
Transient advcrtieinents per Square of ton
lines or less, first insertion, $2 ; each subsequent
insertion. $1 .
.Larger advertisements inserted on the most
ibsral terms. "
JOB WORK.
Having received new type, stock of colored
inks, cards, a Gordon Jobber, etc., we are j-rc-pared
to execute a":l kinds of printing in a belter
mn-uner and fifty per cent, cheaper than ever be
fore -"ered in ibis citv.
PORTLAND CARDS.
E. F. RUSSELL,
Attorney at Law,
C. P. FKRRY,
Notary Public.
ADVERTISEMENTS.
BUILDERS, ATTENTION I
SASH, BLIXD AXD DOOR
FACTOR Y !
S. H. ALTMOl-SK. X. WRIGHT. J. F. BACKESSTO.
ALTIIOISE & CO.,
ITOX STREET, (OK THE ItlVER BANK),
ALBANY, : : : OHEGOS.
KEEP ON HAND A FULL ASSORTMENT,
and arc prepared to
FnrnisH to Order,
Acr i'ox the Register.
The following gentlemen are authorized to re
ceive aud roeeipt for subscription, advertising,
etc.. for the Register :
HIRAM SMITH, Esq Harrlsburg.
Julire S. H. CLAUGHTOX Lebanon.
PETER HUME, Esq Brownsville
W. R. KIRK. Esq
E. E. WHEELER, E-q Scio.
T. 1. REYNOLDS, Esq Salem.
Gti). W. CANNON, Esq Portland.
L. f . FISHER, Esq 'Frisco.
BUSINESS CARDS.
J. C. M EN DEN II ALL,
Notary I u b 1 i c ,
&LRANY, ::::::: OHEJON.
RUSSELL &. FERRY.
Real Estate Brokers & Collecting Agents,
Portland, ... - Oregon.
SPECIAL ATTENTION GIVEN TO THE
Sale of Real Estate, Real Estate Litigation,
and the Collection of Claims.
Office, North-west corner of First and Wash
ington Streets, Portlaud, Ogn. feb 6-70- 5
GEO. NOAH. JAMES MORRISON.
INTERNATIONAL HOTEL,
l-'ormcrly ew Columbian,
Corner Front and Morrison streets.
PORTLAND, OREGON,
Xoah & Morrison, Proprietors,
Free Coach to and from the House.
S. D. SMtTII. OEO. B. COOK.
THE OCCIDENTAL,
FORMERLY
"Western Ilotol,
Corner First and Morrison strect3,
Portland, Oregon.
A ressrs. SMITH A COOK have taken this
XtJL well kniiwn house, refitted and refurnished j
it throughout, built a large addition, making '
thirty nivre pleasant rooms, enlarged the. Dining !
and Sitting rooms, making it by far the I
Rest Hotel in Portland. j
A call from the traveling public will satisfy i also
them that the above statements are true. ' -..fit h-tt- r"r -vet.
CMITH & COOK Props I Are prepared to do MILL WORK: furnish Sha
N. B. Hot and cold Baths attached to the Zigzag. Shakers, Suction Fans, Driving
house for the benefit of guests. 50 ; P'"eys. of any kind, at our laetory on Lyon
Portland -ui-ust 15th IS69. j street, (on the river bauk I, next below Markham s
' ' ' . ; warehouse.
NEW TO-DAY.
UIPORTAXT
TO THE
IaSlTRIXG PUBLIC !
Doors,
and
Blinds,
JSash,
j THOXiDIlVGrS,
I such as-
Crown, Panel, Band, and Section Mold
of all sizes.
WINDOW AND DOOR FRAMES 1
Flooring,
nnd all other kinds of,
Build in? .llatcrial !
ALARMING MORTALITY!
Hoisons and their Antidotes.
BY OUR FAMILY PHYSICIAN.
LEGAL INSTRUMENTS OF LL KINDS ! A. TIE KICA. EXCIIAAfiE,
made and attested. Conveytnccs and col- ;
lectons attended to. S6-'70 corner of
Front and Washington Streets,
PORTLAND, OREGON.
L. STRUCKMEIER & CO.,
3EKCIIAT TAILORS,
ALBANY, OREGON. i t. p. w. Quimby, - - - - Proprietor
REEFS ALL KINDS OF FINE CLOTH, j (Late of tho Wcitera Ilotcl.)
Juits made to order, in the most fashion- j v
H:m approvea njies. . rr,tns HOUSE is the ranst commodious in the I
5 j ctaie, uewiy lurnisiieu, ana 11 win pe ins
L. STRUCKMEIER & CO.
ALTHOUSE A CO.
Albany, February 0, 1SG9- -t
BLACKSMITH INC !
Within the past three vears, six of the local
Insurance. Companies of San Francisco, repre- i
denting a capital of over $2,000,000, suspended '
the first four during the low rate war of 1867 and j
1868 the last two during the past few weeks. j
Six out of Twelve j
in legs than three years is an alarming record of j
mortality, and should suggest to the insuring pub-
lie the propriety of avoiding experimental, inex- ;
perienced, nnd low rite Companies, and patroniz- j
ing the old establishid, conservative, wealthy, and i
prudently managed corporations of the solid and j
permanent order. j
the
PLOWS! PLOWS! PLOWS
fTjIIE undersigned iv
J public, that ho is no
MIIE undersigned Ki-cs notice to the general
uow manufacturing the
JT. W. Bentley.
endeavor of the Proprietor to make his gucstc ,
comfortable. Nearest Hotel to the steamboat ! nnd anv other stvle of plow that mav be ordered.
; laudiusr.
GENTLEMEN'S BOOTS MADE TO ORDER ' The Concord Coarh will always be four
J on short notice, and with neatness and dis- ; at the landing, on the arrival of stenmships ar
caich.
All Kinds of Repairing' Done.
Albany, June 11, 1S70 40
river boats, carrying passengers and their bar-
gaze to and from the boatsVee f charge.
j Hov? M'vplieti icith Pufenf Fire Extinguisher.
. B. IHCE, M. !., ; COsOIOI'OI.ITArY HOTEL,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
o
(FORMERLY ARRIGOXt's,)
: s Portland, Oregon.
Albany, ------ Oregon,
FVICE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF MAIN Front street
Stret. !
Ali.anv. Aoril '70.-:;2
H chased this well known Hotel, are now pre
pared to off-r the traveling public bet'er accom
modations than cax l-e found elsewhere in the
city. y
Hoard andLodglug S2 OO per day.
HilE UNDEKSTdXED, HAVING PUR-
A. V.'IIKELER,
ota r y IV h b 1 i c
B R Q V N S V I L L E . Oil EGO N .
Also, particular attention paid to
I
Wagon Making- and Horse-shoeing.
j Wagons for sale at my shop at $140 and $1(30
i Horse shoeing as follows : Cash, $2 ; credit, $3 j
! !
All work entrusted to me will receive prompt :
! attention, and be executed in the best possible '
I manner with good material. A share of public
patronage is solicited. ;
Shop on corner Ellsworth and Socond streets, ;
opposite Pierce' Fmy. F. VO"D. !
Albany, November I, IC6-II i
THE OLl
STOYE DEPOT!
1" EG AL INSTRUMENTS OF ALL KINDS
i made an 1 attested. Conveva
lections attends i to.
s atoj i-.-l-I26J
JOH.V BRICKS,
J. HA.WO.,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
ALBANY, OltECOX.
OFFICE On Main street, opposito Foster's ,
Brkk. I-Ctf !
A'. S. DuBoi,
i 1 0NSTANTLY' on hand and receiving, a i
V large stock of I
Groceries and Provisions, I
Wool and Willow Ware, Tobacco, Cigars, Con-
DEALER IN
foctionery, 1 ankee otions. 4c, Wholesale
and Ueiail, opposite R. C. Hill A Son's drug
st' ra. Albany, Oregon. jn40'70
The Hotel Coach will be in attendance to con- !
vey Passengers and baggage to and from the
Hotel t'rtv uf vhar'je.
' " J. B. SPREXGER.
Ofli-e Oregon A California Stage Company. B. j ST0A ES, COOK, PARLOR & BOX. ,
G. WiiiTEUorsE, Agent. tf ; j
of the best pattern' '
A 7.tt J
Tin, Slicet iron and .
and the usual assortment of Famishing Goods ti.
be obtainod in a
jpZOQ Jlepairtt naltf and prmiiptlff c.refittrtt ,
JpST n i-co notable ferm. "5i
"Short reckonings, make long friends."
JUSTLY TAKES RANK AS THE
1. LADING A M KRICAX
lil0 IliiSlll'iilTLOO Co.
Their contracts are endorsed by cash assets
exceeding
$1,700,000.
Their hu-iness is managed hx underwriters who .
have no superiors and but few equals in the Union
Their risks are tnull. carefully selected, and scat- j
tered throughout the entire Uuit"d Suites, thus i
avuidinjr heavy lo;s in the most serious conflara-
lion. Their rates are not of the jruess or gamb- ,
lin order, but are baed on actual experience. !
and are as low as good inurnuce can be furnished ;
at. Their losses are honorably and promptly ad- .
lusted, and paid in fro!d coin without delay or i
! discount. Tluir agents, located at all points of j
i importance, h;tve authority to ij-auc policies direct, i
i thus avoiding the dauber and delay incident to i
: the sub-aireney system ; and. in each and every
: particular, both as reardd solvency, perinanenry, ;
: prudent management, honorable conduct, ctjuitable ;
! rates, aul ctxiacrvntlve practices. I
Tiic rhcpiiix, of llarffbrd, j
i furnishes facilities to the i&?uring public unequal!-
J ed by any other Company doit g business on this j
coast. I
lCven with the greatest carefulness, ac
cidental poisoning will often occur. Chil
dren are much iuclined to try bottles and
parcels, before they are able to read the
labels. Nearly every poison has its anti
dote, which will prove effective if used at
once ; loss of life often results from a delay
of but a minute or two. Dr. 11. M. Ved
der, of Flushing, X. Y., has prepared the
followiug for the American Agricultural
ist :
Arsenjc, Fly Powder ("Cobalt"),
Kings' Yellow, ycheel's Green, Rats
bane Stir two tablespoonfuls of ground
Alitstard in a quart of lufcewarm v:ater,
and drink until copious vomiting is pro
duced, tickling the throat with the finger
or a feather. After vomiting, give
largo quantities oP Calcined Magnesia.
LEAD POISONS.
Sugar of Lead, "White lead, Litharage
First, Mustard to vomit, as above, and
doses of Ejisoni Halts, say a tcaspoonful
to a tablespoonful, according to the age
of the patient, every half hour for two
hours.
MERCURIAL POISONS
Corrosive Sublimate or (Bed Busr
Poison), White Precipitate, Red Precip
itate, Vermilion UViiVe of Eons or
milk or Wheat Flour beaten up. Ad- i
minister all that can be got down in ten
minutes, and then give mustard emetic
as above.
COPPER POISONS.
Blue Vitriol, Verdigris, Food or Pick
les Cooked in Copper or Brass Vessels
White of E-jjs, or Milk taken very freely
for ten minutes, to be followed with an
emetic of Mustard as above.
- IKON POISONS.
Copperas, or Green Vitriol Cooking
Soda, a teaspoonful to a tablespoonful, or
more according to the age of patient,
etc. followed by plenty of Gum-Arabic
water, or Flaxseed tea or Slippery Elm
tea.
ANTIMONY".
Tartar Kmetic 1'oicdcred JTutqalls,
Mushrooms Emetic of mustard and
warm water, until vomiting is produced ;
then frequent small doses of Epsom
Salts.
Poisonous Fish Emetic of Mutard
and warm water, tickling the throat.
BITES, ETC.
Serpents, Insects, Mad Dog, Poisoned
wounds from dead animals Tic a string
tightly above the wound; some one
having no sores, broken skin, or exposed
nerves in the mouth, suck out the blood
and wash with hot water, so as to make
it bleed as much as possible ; then wash
with hartshorn, and burn out with a
large red hot wire or pointed Lunar Caus
tic ; after which remove the string, and
poultice with flaxseed.
We have given those antidotes which
are most likely to be at hand in every
family, and can be readily administered
by any one, but in all cases of poisouing
send for the family physician at once. It
may be necessary to use the stomach
pump. The after treatment, to prevent
or subdue inflammation, should be followed
out with great care.
In poisoning by arsenic, the hydrated
peroxide of iron is an invaluable antidote,
but as a physician would be required to
administer this antidote, we have omitted
it.
Story of a Game of Cards.
One hot afternoon in the month of
August, '67, three men sat around a ta
ble in a private parlor at the Hotel Darm
stadt, Ems, Germany, taking such com
fort as they could derive from the juice
of Rhenish grape and a pack of cards.
The most conspicuous figure of the group
was a large man with a bald head, gray
ish blue eyes, a heavy light colored
moustache and air about him that would
have done honor to the imperial purple.
This personage had even then achieved
some fame and was tolerably well known
to reading people by the name of Bis
marck. .Next to him sat another bald
headed individual inferior to Bismarck
in stature, with a border of black hair ! mouth
about the base of his ekull that looked ' nation.
like the rim of an old felt hat (ruthlessly
a teaspoonrul or more in water : or tea of j robbed of its crown), condemned to re
R. II. lIAir,li, lanaser,
42-1 California St., Sin Francisco.
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
FROMAA BIIL,BIA;S.
WHEAT AND FLAjTSEED DEPOT.
LEANING and HOISTING rapacity
i j IO.OOO uuslieis per uay :
! A share of patronage solicited.
I 45'rO E. CART WRIGHT.
35sf The highest cash price paid for Wheat.
LADIES' EMPORIUM.
MRS. A. J. OUNIWAY,
KEAI.ER IS
Hiltabidcl & Co.,
OEALERS IN GROCERIES AND PRO-i-ious.
W..od and Willow War.-, Confec
tionery. Tobacco. Cigars, Pipes, Notions, etc.
yi j.in street, adjoining the Express office, Albany,
iircgon. j
pkEALER IX EVERY DESCRIPTION OF i Fashionable Millinery aM Fancy GooQs.
JJ School, Miscellaneous and lilank Books, 1
Stationery, Gold and Steel Pen, Ink, etc.. Post- I Follows Dress and Cloak making' in all
office Building. Albany, Oregon. Books ordered ' their varied branches,
from Now Y'ork and San Francisco. I ; ' o
i BLEACHES AND PRESSES STRAW GOODS
J. H. Mitchell. j. jr. dolph. a. SMITH, i In Latest Style and best manner.
Mitchell, Dolph & Smith,
4 TTORNETS asd COUNSELLORS at LAW,
- ' i? ,-nan,cer-v lectors in Ad- r Corner First and Broada'bin streets, Albany,
imralty. Sice over the old-Post Office, Front Oreson janlnl"-70
street, Portland, Oregon, It
Policies Issued and Rcuewed Direct by
1a. 1LL., Agent,
ALBANY, OREGON.
jy2'70-43ni3
SPRIXG AM) SIMMER STI LES.
STAMP FOR SUA ID ASD EMBROIDERY.
o-
JAMES A. WARNER,
Civil Engineer fc Surveyor.
TS PREPARED TO DO SURVEYING AND
Engineering. Uses improved Solar Compass.
Orders by mail promptly attended to. Residence
on 4thvSt., opposito Dr, Tate's residence, Albany
OregonS nI9-6m
POWELL. l. FLIXn.
Powell & Flinii,
T70RNEYS 4 COUNSELLORS AT LAW
and Solicitors in Chancery,
(X.. Flinn, Notary Public,)
.Klbany, Oregon. Collections and conveyances
Ipromply attended to. I
GEO. W. GRAY, X.
"VfrOULD SOLICIT THE PAT-
D. S.,
ronajre of all persons desir
ing ARTIFICIAL TEETH and
FIRST CLASS DENTAL opcra-
" tions. Nitrons Oxide administered for the nam.
less extraction of teeth, when desired. Charges
moderate.
Office in Parriah & Co. 'a brick block. Resi
dence, first bonso south of Congregational Church,
fronting on Court House Mock.
Albany, Oregon, July 2, 1370-43
ST. CHARLES HOTEL,
Corner First and Washington Sts.,
ALBANY, - - . - OREGON.
XX. BRENNER, Proprietor.
o
WITH A NEW BUILDING, NEWLY
Furnished throughout, the proprietor
hopes to give entire satisfaction to the traveling
public. The lfcds are supplied with spring-bottoms.
The table will receive the closest atten
tion, and everything the market affords palatable
to guests will be supplied. jan 9- I
FRANKLIN MARKET,
Main street, - Albany, Oregon.
Sleata of All Kind,
OP THE VERY BEST QUALITY,
Constantly on hand.
30 6m O. B. XXAIGIXT.
C. ME A LEY
DEALER IN MANUFACTURER OF
FXnUNTITXTHE!
and
CABINET WARE !
Bedding-, Etc.,
Corner First and Broad Alb in streets,
ALBANY, OREGOX.
JQ PARTICULAR ATTE5TI0H PAID TO -SS
ORDERS OF AX.X. KINDS
in his line.
October I80S-8
rURA'IA'O. - - TUKMIWG.
Front street Albany.
Next door to Mansfield 4 Co.
decs' 68-1
JF1IX3 ! U"ixo! TJii-o !
"A Stitch in Time Saves Nine!'
XTKTION"
Fire anil Marine" Insurance Company!
Nos. 413 and 413, California street,
San Francisco, ... California.
STOCKHOLDERS INDIVIDUALLY LIABLE
Ca-sli Capital, in Gold Coin, $750,000.
Deposit In Oregon,, $50,000.
Losses Promptly and Equitably Adjusted
And J'aid in Gold (join.
THIS COMPANY having complied with the
laws of Oregon, by making a deposit of fifty
thousand dollars, is now prepared to effect insur
ance against Loss or Damage by Fire, and also
against Marine and Inland Navigation risks, on
liberal terms.
GUSTAVE TOUCIIARD, Pres.
CHAS. D. HAVEN, Sec'y. .
CUSTOM MADE CLOTHING.
CIIEVOIT SUITS,
WHITE DUCK SUITS,
CASTOR HEAVER SUITS,
Heavy Canvas Hunting Coats,
White Marseilles Vests,
Figured Marseilles Vests,
Furnishing Goods of all Kinds
aud a great variety of other
NEW AND SEASONABLE GOODS.
a
a
o
H
2
S3
w
PJ
r-1
en
I AM PBEPAItEK TO DO
Afcl, KINDS OF TURNING 1
I keep on band and make to order
RAWHIDE-BOTTOMED CHAIRS,
AMD
Spinning- Wheels.
ar Shop noar the "Magnolia Mills."
JOHN M. METZLER
Albany, Not. 8, I868-I
J. C. MENDENHAIX,
Agent for Albany.
Albany, January 8, 1870-18
THE EYES ! THE EARS !
Dr. T. JL. GOLDEJV,
OCULIST AND ATJRI T,
ALBANY, : : : OREGON.
R. GOLDEN IS A SON OF THE
noted old Opthalmic Doctor, 6. C.
Golden.
Dr. GOLDEN hag had experience in treating
the various diseases to which the eye and ear are
subject, and feels confident of giving entire satis
faction to those who may place themselves nnder
his care.
Albany, April 10, 1889-31y
J?-T If you want the very best Cabiket Pbo
Tor.RAPHg, you must call on BRADLEY 4
RULOFSON, 429 Montgomery etreet, San Fran
cisco. 6 6m
We are prepared to offer to the public the lar
gest and BEST SELECTED stock of Clothing
of our own manufacture, ever brought to Portland,
and at prices that DEFY COMPETITION.
WM. CURRIER 4 CO.,
jy2-43-.ini 103 Front-st., Portland.
SAA FIftAIVCISCO STOIIE!
. COHSER riUST AND feuky streets,
ALBANY ...OREGON.
Keeps constantly on hand a full assortment of
DRY GOODS, GROCERIES, CLOTHING.
Boots, Shoes, Hardware fc Crockery,
and a full supply of Ladies'
FuTnisMng Emoroiuery, Fancy Goods, &c.
also, a stock of
TH E BET LIQUOR !
for Medicinal purposes only.
Always on band a large stock of
Box, Cooking and Parlor Stores !
and manufactures nil kinds of
Tin, Copper and Sheet-Iron Ware,
all of which are offered at the lowest rates for
i CASH R COUNTRY PRODUCE!
All kinds of repairing done, on short
notice, and entire satisfaction warranted, at my
Stove and Tin Store.
Nov. 0-11
JULIUy GRADWOHL.
B
LANK Deed?, Mortgages, etc., on band
latest styles, and for salo low, at this ofnoe
Oak bark or l'eruviau bark. Give
promptly.
SILVER.
Lunar Caustic Table Salt, two tca
spooul'uls or more in a j int of water.
ZINC.
White Vitriol Warm Water to relieve
vomiting : aud one to two teappoonfuls of
Raking Soda, followed by milk or white
of eggs.
PHOSPHORUS.
Matches, Rat Exterminator Mustard
and Warm Water to cause voinitiug ;
then large draughts of water containing
Calcined Magnesia, two tablespoonfuls to
a piut, followed with Flaxseed tea or
Slippery Elm tea.
ACIDS.
Acetic Acid, Citric Acid, Muriatic
Acid, Tartaric Acid Baking Soda, or
Saleratus, Lime, or Magnesia, a teaspoon
ful to a tablespoonful, dissolved in water
and used freely. Powdered lime mortar
from the ceiling will do. I
Oxalic Acid, Nitric Acid Magnesia,
or White Chalk or Lime stirred in water,
drauk freely aud quickly. '
Sulphuric Acid (Oil of Vitriol)
Drink much water quickly, and follow
immediately with large doses of Magnesia,
or powdered White Chalk or Lime; or if
these ate not at hand, use Soda or dis
solve Soap. Follow with plenty of Flax
seed or Sippery Elm tea.
J'rnssic Acid, Oil of Bitter Almonds,
Laurel Water Tcaspoouful of Hartshorn
(aqua amuiotiia). in a pint of water.
Drink the whole at once. !
ALKALIES.
IVarlash, Salts of Tartar, Soap of Lye
Dnuk freely of Vinegar in water, fol
lowed with Gum Arabic; dissolved in
water, or Slippery Elm tea or Flaxseed
tea.
Auimoniit, Hartshorn, Potash, Much
Soda Drink freely of Vinegar in water,
or Lemon Juice, or Citric, or Tartaric
Acid mixed with water. Sweet Oil, Lin
seed Oil, or Cream is also good, and
should follow the other remedies above
named a tablespoonful first, and then
a teaspoonful an hour for three hours.
ALCOHOL.
Any Spirituous Liquor Two table
spoonfuls of Mustard in a quart of warm
water. Drink till patient vomits freely,
using a finger or feather. ;
VOLATILE OILS.
Creosote, Carbolic Acid, Oil of Tar,
Oil of Turpentine, Oil of Tobacco, Fusel
Oil White of eggs or milk in quantity,
followed quickly by a mustard emetic.
MISCELLANEOUS.
Charcoal Fumes, Street Gas Fresh
air and artificial respiration.
Iodine Starch or wheat flour beat up
in water. Vomit with mustard and warm
water.
Saltpetre, Nitrate of Soda Mustard
emetic, followed with oil as for Ammonia.
Strychnine, Nux-vomica, Opium, Laud
anum, Paregoric, Morphine, Stramonium
or (Thorn Apple or Sunk Weed), Bel
ladona or (Deadly Night Shade), Croton
Oil, Foxglove, Squirting Cucumber,
Aconite (Monkshood), Hemlock, Ilyos
cyamus or Henbane Emetic of mustard
and warm water, as above, drink till pa
tient vomits freely. Ticklo the throat
with finger or a feather : or eive a tea-
spoonful of powdered alum ; or -five
grains of Tartar Emetio : or twenty
grains (half a thimbleful) of White
Vitiiol, dissolved in half a tumbler of
warm water, every ten minutes, till
vomiting is produced. If the patient is
drowsy, Rive the strongest cold coffee, or
slap smartly on the back., or use electricity
to keep mm awake.
Arnica Vinegar and water
Dumas on Woman's Laughter.
Alexandre Dumas fds is- at- variance, in
his rr.uch-talked-of preface to 'E'Auu'det
Ecmmes, with the poets of ancient and
modern times. The Greeks who had'
such a keen sense of the bcatiful, quali
fied Venus as the "laughter-loving:"
Shakespeare 'was very fond of sprightly
heroines, whose sallies provoked laughter..
Moore immortalizes the feminine laugh
in his exquisite sketch of an Irish girl,
to whom he was pleased to , give tho
Asiatic name of Nourmahal. Balzac
(who can hardly be called a poet) was
very fond of "a silvery laugh," and used
to say that none but thorougbred gentle
women had a right to weep, because they
aloue weep without disliguring them
selves. Now, hear what M. Dumas has
to say on tlft other side:
If comedy has been so long in disfavor
it is because womeu do not like it. And
why do they dislike it. Becauso in s
comedy men are only conquered by the
ruses, the tricks, the malices, and the
graces of the fair. This does not satisfy
women's ambition. It smacks of the
feints in a fencing school. The conquer
or neither sees the blood nor hears the
groans of the conquered. Woman
delights in the real hand to-hand light
with the other sex which is the soul of
tragedy. She wants publicly to prove
that she has the power to subjugate her
adversary, to make "him bite the dust,
to kill him. She wanU to see him.
down, and to tear his heart out unless he
sue humbly for mercy, and confess her
as the soverign of the uuiverse, or
acknowledges himself a wretched fool
for having misunderstood aud insulted
her so long. But there is another rea
son why women do not like comedy.
No woman wishes to laugh in public.
A laugh depoctizes her aud contorts her
visage. There is a frankness in a hearty
laugh, which jars with her diplomatic
genius. A woman throws away her
best arm when she laughs. The tear
is what she triumphs in. A humid eye
is always interesting, whereas an open-
never is. It is simply an aboun
Smile if you will, lovely woman,
but never laugh. For twenty actresses
who can draw tears, there is hardly oue
who can excite to laughter. The laughter
of an actress is seldom communicative
because it is a surface thing, ilt is at
war with the female organization. A
! rrmiir.il woman does not rcallv belon" to
j . a
her sex, and other women dislike her.
Nevertheless, glory to the laughter-loving
female who is not so much a bearded
man incognito as an excellent, compan
ionable garcon.
main there as a permanent fixture. Du
ring the Crimean war the father of this
man figured at the Cabinet Councils
in ftt. Petersburg as uount -esseiroue,
but the son was onlv known as a clever
gamester' and an habitue of the fashion- ;
able European watering places. The third j
member of the party was a little fellow
(so little that his f eet scarcely touched j
the floor) wi'h dark piereing eyes,
swarthy skiu, and vivacity enough for '
half a dozen ordinary men. At the time
of which we speak he was the French
Consul at Stuttgart. All of them had
been partaking freely of wine, aud each
in turn shuffled the cards with a vim that
the generous grape imparts even to the
most phlegmatic temperament. The
Frenchman, in the interludes of the play, j treasure, nor that tho return
kept ud a runuinir fire of conversation, exploded theory of States rights
. . . . i . x4t ci.:....
skipping lroui topic to topic wuicu ouiy
Frenchmen enjoy, until, warming as he
went on. he ventured the declaration that
France would one day mark the bound
ary by the Rhine from Basel to the sea.
"A hundred Fredericks to fifty," ex
claimed Nesselrode, "that she won't."
"Done," exclaimed the Frenchman,
"and let the game be the fortune-teller."
They shuffled the cards, and the French
man lost.
"Another wager !" said Nesselrode,
with a glance at Bismarck, who eyed his
two companions calmly, though never
uttering a single word. "Another Wager !
Two hundred and fifty that within five
years France and Prussia measure swords, j
and that i ranee yields Alsace ana tne
whole disputed border."
"(Test imjwssible ."' excitedly rcspou
drd tlin Consul.
Again tho cards were shuffled. At j is in what is called "the dough." It
.1.. .i i i" I. IV. i will vi.'ld much LfttiT. nnd makes a crir.il'
man had each taken two tricks, it was
Tl. .C. .iou V-illnv 7 "'. tl.il, V Vlflf
the only way out of the Chinese immi
gration difficulty, is to restore States
rights Mas understood before the war."
Wc hardly think that the country is quite
ready to ubandou the principle that was
settled at the cost of so much mony and
to thtf
is' nec
essary to settle tne uiunese question.
If the Democracy will work as earnestly
! to prevent Chinese immigration as its
representatives in the United Staes did
to defeat the anti-Chinese bills int rod uc
' ed in that body, wc shall have a united
: people laboring to one cud and purpose.
The Democrats are too much exercised
with fear that the Republican party will
destroy their pet hobby, and make capital
"for statutory stump speeches."
i A scavenger named Luke Fit-hcr
1 drank seven ordinary beer glasses full of
! common whisky within a siTace of forty
: minutes, recently, at a saloon iu Detroit..
Later in the day his fticnds were discuss
ing whnt would be the most convenient
time to hold bis funeral.
It is demonstrated beyond a doubt
that wheat should be cut when the graiu
the Russiau'sJcad. He threw the quceu
of clubs upon the table.
"Kins?!" shouted the Frenchman in
triumph, as he covered NesselrodVs card,
and extendea nis nana to seize tne
prize.
"Not so fast," coolly remarked the
Prussian premier, "I believe the game is
mine," and casting the ace, he Icaucd
back in his chair and laughed heartily.
" Man I) ten !" shouted the discomfited
player," "but cards arc alwaye liars ;" and
unable to conceal the chagrin and excite
ment that overmastered him he rose from
the table and quitted the room.
Three years have scarcely elapsed
since the incident here narrated (an inci
lnr wliir:Vi NrRSfilrride told with hpnrtv
satisfaction in Ems cafes that Summer), J the effects of intemperance sceonr inside"
aud now the big cloud of war that has The very latest thing in the advertis-
hovered over Europe has burst, the
suit may prove that the cards were
such liars after all.
deal nicer Hour.
Great importance is attached to the
French gunboat, which will bo used oa
the llhine and Moselle. Each gunboat
carries one heavy gun, uiauncd by twelve
men, and commanded by a lieutenant.
The Prussians have no guuboats.
The moon is said to be nearer th
earth than it has been in tweuty years
past, and nearer than it will be again for
a hundred years to come. "Fair Luna's
smiles are gracious now."
A diahouest bankrupt and an honest
one have this resemblance they both
tail to make money."
A temperance editor, in drawing
attention to an article against ardent
spirits in one of his papers, says : "For
rc-not
Down with the Fifteenth Amendment.!
The Democracy are not alone in their
undyiug hatred of the negro. We learn
that the Comanche Indians are ex
pressing their hatred of the negro aud
are going to give the United States an
everlastiug battle because they don't
like the negro troops employed on the
Texan fiontier. It's too much trouble
to scalp them. In fact to get what
approaches a scalp on a white person's
head they have to skin them.
A Cincinnati woman made up her
mind to commit suicide, provided her
self with a quantity of opium, a revolver,
a doubled-barreled gun, a pistol and a
razor, and commenced operations. To
her disgust, she bad procoedod no furth
er than to take a dose of opium and shoot
herself once when she was arrested.
Joseph Worley, of Peas township,
Belmont county, Ohio, is over one hun
dred years old, and still possesses the
faculties of eight, hearing and locomotion.
ing line is a lady who seeks for employ
ment as an "ornamental guest."
There is one fact which one may op
pose to all the wit and argument of in
fidelity namely; that no man ever
repented being a Christian on his death-
a. 1
Mrs. C. B. Deuio aud Mrs. McKenny,
leading females of Vallejo.are about start
ing a grocery store, and thus practically
demonstrating women's rights.
The quota of school lauds belonging to
Walla Walla county, W. T., is 3,000 acres.
A Kentucky Sheriff has notified the
tax payer in his district that he is
"tyred of duning for taks-paiers ot to
know tha ot to do without biung duneU.
One of neckers warehouses in Brook
lyn was crushed on Wednesday by the
weight of flour stored in it. -Nobody
hurt. ,
,t.t -t,j CfnoHn. naseliall Club of
Cinciooati were beaten by the Athle
of Philadelphia by a score of 11 to 7
the 27th.
Five hundred Germans have already
Bailed from New York to join the Prus
sian army. pa'6
Athletes
on