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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (April 9, 1870)
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, APRIL 9, 1S70.
PUBLISHED EVERT SATURDAY IT
ernes o.f cobxer or ferry axd fibst-sts.
TERMS IN ADVANCE.
One Tear Three Dollar
Six Months Two Dollar-'
Single Copies .'. Ten Cents
Transient advertisements per Stjnare of ten
lines or less, first insertion, $o ; eaeh subsequent
Larger advertisements inserted on the most
Having received new type, stock of colored
inks, cards, a Gordon Jool-cr, etc.. we are pre
pared to execute all kind of priutiug in a better
manner anil fifty per ecnU cheaper tnaa ever be
fore offered in this city.
Ajrents Tor the Register.
The following gentlemen are authorized to re
ceive and receipt for subscription, advertising,
etc., for the Register :
III RAM SMITH, Esq TTarrisburg.
Judsre S. II. CLAl'GHTOX... Lebanon.
FETER HUME. Esq Brownsvile
W. R. KIRK. :...
t.. K. W It EKI.Kll,
T. U. REYNOLDS, Esq
Geo. W. CANNON", Esq
Ia. P. FISHER, Esq
E. F. RVSSELL,
- Attornev at Law,
C. P. FERRY,
TV otav.v Public.
RUSSELL & FERRY,
Real Estate Broiers & Collecting Agents,
Portland, - - - - Oregron.
SrFCIAL ATTENTION GIVEN TO THE
alc of Real E-t:ite, Real Estate Litigation,
and the OHcetiom of Claims.
Office, North-we -t corner of First and Wash
ington Streets, Portland, Ogn. feb26-70-2i
S. P. SMITH. 0K0. B. COOK.
Corner First and ilor.nson streets, I
Portland, Oregon. j
fessrs. FMITH A COOK have taken this
I well known house, refitted and refurnished
it throughout, built a large addition, making
thirty tnore pleasant rooms, enlarged tho Dining
and Sifiitig rotms, making it by far the
IScst Hotel lu Portland.
A call froxn the traveling publio will satisfy
them that the above statements are true.
SMITH A COOK, Props.
X. R. Hot and cold Baths attached to tho
house for the benefit of guests. 50
Portland, August loth, IS 09.
CCRSEE OF -
Front and Washington Streets,
PORTLAND, OREO OX.
Xi. P. W. Quimi-y, - - - - Proprietor.
(Late of the Western II
LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS.
Ciccit Court Adjourned on Satur
day last. Following is the disposition of
causes not reported last week.
Susanrah Banford vs. James Banford; dis
missed. Win. Riley vs. Win. Lewis, G. F. Shaw, E. F.
Russell ; eonttuued.
Senders. Sternberg fc Co. vs. E. B. Hughes ;
judgment for plaintiffs.
State of Oregon vs. Archibald Rader ; forgery
sentenced to two years in the penitentiary.
State of Oregon vs. Henry Meyers; selling
liquor to minor fined $100.
State of Oregon vs. Ai Pcribner ; assault with
dangerous weapon not guilty.
State of Oregon vs. Henry Meyers ; selling
liquor on Sunday fined $10.
State of Oregon vs. Win. Tally ; selling liquor
on Sunday fined $10. '
State of Oregon vs. J. Z. Crouso ; selling liq
upon on Sunday fined $1).
State of Oregon vs. M. Pierson ; selling liquor
to minor fined $100.
State of Oregon vs. Gordon Cooper ; assault
with intent to kill continued.
State of Oregon vs. Leobold Locher; larceny
State of Oregon vs. Edward E. Turk ; murder;
jury trial acquitted.
W. 1$. Blaiu vs. D. Michael : injunction issued
by County Court, etc. Injunction dissolved and
Mary Jane Kecs vs. Jacob Keos, executor, etc.
Case argued, and Court has the case under con
sideration. Hiram Smith et al, exrs., vs. Permand A Lncy.
This was a suit to restrain defendants from run
ning their ferry boat over lot No. 4 in the city of
llarrisburg. Injunction granted.
Joseph Brenner admitted a citizen of the Vnited
Democratic Convention. The De
mocracy of -Linn county assembled in
convention on last Saturday ia this city,
and selected the following named gen
tlemen as their standard-bearers in the
The San Domingo Commissioner for
exchange, of ratification of treaty annex
ing that country to the United States,
arrived at Washington on the 1st instant,
and reports that the vote in favor of an
nexation, taken in less than a fortnight,
without any interference on the part of
the Government and without the presence
of a single soldier, was decided by a
majority of 10,000, with an opposition
of onry fcsro per cent. Everything was
quiet, and the merchants were anxiously
awaiting the decision of the United
States. Not only San Domingo but the
surrounding West India islands consider
annexation necessary to their salvation
and means of futuro tvelfare.
Earthquake. The sharpest al-
j though the shortest- lasting but four
seconds earthquake ever felt in San
Francisco occurred on the morning of the
2d inst. Everything jumped as though
on shipboard, and even two vessels col
lided. Walls were cracked, teams ran
away, and a general stampede was made
from brick buildings. The motion was
undulating. The shock was too short to
produco much beyond a big scare. If
people don't want to be scared out of
their wits by earthquakes, let them come
To Guess Who.
My henrt goes out to thee, darling, to-night ;
My soul cries out to theo with passionate might 1
Heart, cease thy throbbings 1 Soul, be thou still!
Subdue thee I must with a resolute will.
Life is a dream to me, I'm dreaming of thee 1
Would I might break the bonds, would I were free!
Would I might wake, and, waking, despise
The passion that masters me, melts mo in size I
Vainly I wish it ; thou boldest in chains
A heart that would die for thee unmindful of pains!
Love at its wildest ne'er before wan wild
As tho love that I give thee, pure, Mudtfilcd.
Life seems so sad to me ! All these past years
What have they brought to me ? aaduess and tears!
How looks the future ? sad it must bo,
Since fate denied thy love to me.
But no matter 'though to me as cold as the snow,
You cannot prevent nor I wherever I ro,
The low whimper, deep down in my soul :
'Ilove thee ! Hove thee ! beyond human control!
Joss of the Oneida. .
Some weeks ago the telegraph an
nounced the destruction, with loss of all
on board, of the U. S. steamer Oneida.
Full particulars by mail give the the
following account of the sad catastrophe:
lite Onciilu, hi. 1. Williams, Com-
Public Debt Statement. -
mandcr, sailed from Yokohama on the
21th of January, and when twenty miles
out as run iotoand sunk by the Penin
sular and Oriental Company's steamer
Ijombay, Capt. Arthur Y lllesly .byre,
- . involving the drowning of tweaty-one
; vuiuei.t una uinciy-uve sailors uuu
LEGAL INSTRUMENTS OF ALL KINDS
made an I attested. Conveyances and col
lections attended to. 6'J
VTTORXEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW,
Oefii-e In the ParrisH Uriels. 23
Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
A LISAS V, OltfcKHJX.
FFICE -On Main street, opposito Foster's
lowing is the public debt statement : j rirlM. It arpears nke tne Bombay ran
t : . . 17 . r t..i
ripnis HOUSE :s the most commodious m tho i f"" t o . j a , dotal debt and interest, v ,-t0,Ui i ,V"I'J ; j iiito the Oneida, striking her on the star-
e&JSft TeV'or' trk. S ! i J- hitne Sth007r,0n,;ram0Ur,tintre3SUry'Coin' S105-4137' I currying away her rop
comfortable. Nearest Hotel to tuo steamboat l- J" 't,c8 i Coroner, J . vi- &'eWi,rt i cur,cnCy, 87,472,729 ; sinking luud ! dcck' crushing the gig, and leaving a
landing. Treasurer. Capt. Shields; Assessor, E. ! , , , , . . . ' n- boom gaff, part of a sail of the Oueida
xr- The Concord O-a.-h will always be f.mi " ' ' ; bond and accrued interest, $-30,01 , ;,- " runuiuo- one of her timbers en-
at the landing, on the arrival of steamships ar G. Sperry ; Surveyor, Thomas lllggs; fanJ vonJ and accruing , ' , , t n , v T.i n .
i i,1t, Mm-iii. i.!itnerj and their In-- t i t iv! i ui- special una uonus ana accruing tirch-through the bows of tho Bombay
i " lr rra.lV.r27h f A " - Commissioners, M. Fayne, Jasou heel- , - . . . . J .,,rl;n J
ZlUtabidcl & Co.,
DEALERS IX GROCERIES AND TRO
visions. Wood and Willow Ware, Confec
tionery, Tobaeeo, Cigars, Pipes, Notions, etc.
Main itrcet, adjoining the Express office, Albany,
E. A. Frccland,
.EALER IX EVERY DESCRIPTIOX OF
School. Miscellaneous and Blank Books,
Stationery, Gold and Ste-1 lYn-, Ink. etc.. Post
office Building, Albany, Oregon. Books ordered
from New York and San Francisco. I
S- II. Claugbtsn,
-VTOTARY PUBLIC AND REAL ESTATE
AG EXT. OOicc ia the Post Oiuce building,
Will attend to making Deeds and other convey
ances, also to the prompt collet-lion of debts en
trusted to raw care. I
IhtttMC h,itplie i tcith Patent Fire Ejctii-rfuitherK.
er ; Ulerk, A. U. Joucs : anerm, it. a. ; 0, ., , , . ,
' ' ' . ! (b2. Debt less amount iu treasury, 82,-
I irvine , licpreseniativs, x na. .'iuum-is, ! r.,
Three times the Onaida bailed the
1 ; 1 l : . l. tM ' i i 1 v
T (iv.i co rlorl,,., J'umuaJ ll" ' 'i oy, tuiuu oy,
COSSOrOUTA' BOTEL. : J. Ostrander, W. S. Elkins, W. F. Al-i ' a' ' m.1, itW yuH cut ua down,'' blew her whistle,
.... l? TTl. . ?,,tr o-Ji''J'J utK,CJSCBluv-ca,t"'lou' ilired three guns, all of which the officers
R. II. Crawford, Enoch Holt. The j " ' ' '"
Front street : : : Portland, Oregon.
THE I'XDER STONED, HAVING PTR
chased this well knoiwa Hotel, are now pre
pared to oiler the traveling public better accom
modations than can to found elsewhere in the
Hoard and Lodging 2 tH per day.
J. H. MITCHKIX.
j. s. rQi.pn.
Mitchell, Dolph & Sraitb,
VTTORXEYS asd COUNSELLORS at LAW,
Solicitors in Chancery and Proctors ia Ad
miralty. Office over the old Post Office, Front
street, Portland, Oregon. , I
JAMES A. WAF.KES,
Civil Knsiiieer &. Snrvcyor.
IS PREPARED TO DO SURVEYING AND
Engineering. Uses improved Solar Compass.
Orders by mail promptly n'tended to. Resi ience
on 4th St., opposite Dr. Tate's residence, Albany
Forell & Fiimi,
VT?0RXEYS 4 COUNSELLORS AT LAW
and Solicitors in Chancery,
(7L. Plinn, Notary Public,)
Albany, Oregon. Collections and conveyances
promply attended to. . I
r. . BEPFIELK. P. W. SPIXK.
I'. M P.EUFIELU & CO.,
C1 OXSTANTLY on hand and receiving, a
J large stock of
Groceries and Provisions,
Wood and Willow Ware, Tobacco, Cigars, Con
fectionery, Yankee Xotions, Ac Ac, Wholesale
and Retail, opposite K. C. HU1 A Son's drug
tore, Albany, Oregon. 5oct9
ST. CHARLES HOTEL,
Corner First and Washington Sts.,
ALBANY, - - - - OR EG OX.
XI. BRENNER, Proprietor.
WITH A XEW BCILDIXG, NEWLY
Furnished throughout, the proprietor
ho)ies to give entire satisfaction to the traveling
public. The beds are supplied with spring-bottoms.
The table wiil receive the closest atten
tion, and everything the market affords palatable,
to guests will be supplied. jan29-2I
SEain street, - Albany, Oreg-on.
Meats of All Kinds,
OF .THE VERY BEST QUALITY,
Constantly on hand.
. 30-6m G. E. HAIGHT.
ALBANY SHAVING SALOON.
THE TJXDERSIGKED, HAVING OPENED
a Now Shaving Saloon, on First street, Al
bany, Oregon, invites all those wishing a Clean
Shave, Hair Dressing, or Shampooing, to give
him a call.
J. H. BACKENSTO.
Albany, Apr'J 2, 1870.-30
ALnAr BATH MOUSE.
T!:e Hotel Ccarh wiil be in attendance to con
vey I'ass ngcrs nnd tngirage to and- from the
Hotel rev of rlftfje.
J. B. SPREXGER.
OfHco Oregon A California Stage Company, B.
G. Whitehoi'sk, Agert. 2tf
IVeT l'o!5itit;i:::j Hotel,
X'.s. IIS, 120 and 122 Front street,
PORTLArJD, : : : OREGON
ED. CARNEY, PROPRIETOR.
ticket is not a satisfactory one, and the j Changes. By order of the Fresi
curses of the bed-rock Democrats thereat j Jet the Fifth Military District has
are both loud and deep. We expec. this j CC;;!iCd to exist. Texas is created a sep
frothy excitement among Democrats j arute department, Gen. lleynolds corn
caused by the nomination of certain-wen munJing. The Department of Louisi-
on the ticket, will eventually blow oil,- ana isbroken up and Louisiana added to I board. Discipline was complete to the
and generally speaking the whole ticket i tie Department of Te.-.as. Arkansas is ) last- ,lie sil'k keiug all put into the boats,
will be swallowed ; but there is a class of i .dJcd to the Department of Missouri. 1 and1t!'1e oE3 remaining at their posts
, , , . . . - , .. 1 i until the slim went down,
men who have hitherto trained with the ; The ncw l)cpartH1cnt of Texas is to form j In a kte Vl,hoo(1 the Oneida lost all
Democratic party that now declare their ! a cf Military IJivision of the ! but three of "her small boats. One of
these was cut in two by the collision,
leaving but two cutters to save one hun-
A Good Story Well Told
of the Bombay say they did not hear,
though the guns were distinctly heard at
Yokohama, twenty miles away. The
Oneida went dowu stem first, in about
twelve minutes, iu twenty fathoms of j
water. But two cutters were available, i
and the officers, almost to a man, refused
to take to them while a man remained on
The Largest, Best aisd mot Cor venient
Hotel in Portland!
Located in the center of business and near all
the steamboat landings.
Board ani Lodging J
From one to two dollars per day according to the
Rooms newly furnished and well ventil
ated. Superior accomuiod:.tions fur families.
y-ff- The New Columbian Hotel Coach will be
in attendance at all the landings to convey pas
sengers and baggage to and from this Hotel
17 Free ot Charge ! 69
NEW ADVERT ISEM ENTS.
LADIES' 13 31 FORI UH.
THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD BESPECT
fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi
cinity that be has taken charge of this establish
ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attmtic 3 to business, expect to suit all
those who may favor him with their patronage.
Having heretofore carried on nothing bat
First-Class Bfair Dressing- Saloons,
he expec's to give entire satisfaction to all.
13r Children sod Ladies' hair neatly cut and
shampooed. JOSEPH WEBBER.
F ALL KINDS, printed at the very lowest
Eir.S. A. J. DDKIWAT,
FasMonaWs EiUMyani Fancy Goods.
Follows Cress and Cloak Making" in all
tfaeir varici branches.
intention to leave tne rotten concern j g0uth.
uwo'if' 1i:if. t !r-ir TrJM nnf. v r. f n T.ir tlir l
ticket. And they hold the balance of ! U lIoi;E"OL1 Magazine. j drcd nnd serenty-six men the last wt.rda
tiov linri tci il iw "ll till l:-i J n I . 1 - - - - v-- ...
publicans nomiuate a good ticket we wi'l
support it with our influence and our
! and worth. Fc
matter it is really the cheapest magazine
We reiterate it, Eepuldicans of ; . , -f
Linn couuty, you have but to put for- ' .
, , , , , i lork.
waru as your stauaara-nearers noncst ana
true men whom the people of the couuty j
large amount of i mandcr .'dulduur reported the vesselsink-
mg) being, "1 know it; but wnat can 1
do l I asked for more boats, but they
were not allowed me !'' "Who did not
allow them?" the country will ask. Thus,
through the negligence of somebody, and
tlu inhunmnitv fit the Tiombuv oflicers. a
I.m.ian Troubles in Wyoming. A ,.,t,i(..r..,rrf.. nnd hUtnrin shin, with 115
. 1 I
Only SI per aunum.
Wood, Xewburg, New
can rely uren, and tzo to work with the ' report reached Jiryan on the 2d instant, I as brave men as ever stood between a flag
determination to win, and success will from South Pass, that a band of Iudiaus j and her enemies, have been lost to their
crown your efforts.- The fates are propi- made a raid on the Wind Ii.cr Valley,
tious. The Democratic party in this!011 t!iJ -"1st lt running off horned
county is full of dissensions and bitter- stock, aud killing a man named Irwin
ness. Faction is battling against faction, within a mileof Atlantic City,
and thinking men are beginning to as- j Legal Tender' Aboomext.-The
sert their independence of party tics.aud ; Snprcmo Court has decided to reopen
win uu more vote n iickci tuey cannot
endorse merely because it is labeled Dem
ocratic. Our cause is just and riiiht.
and we will be victorious if we but put j -San Domingo. An envoy from
argument iu the legal tender case next
BLEACHES AND PRESSES STRAW GOODS
In Latest Style and best manner.
STA3TP FOU BRA ID AND EMBROIDER Y.
Corner First and roada!bin streets, Albany,
DEALER IN A MAXUFACTLUER OF
CABINET WARE !
Corner First and Broad Albin streets,
JFS- PARTICULAR ATTEBTIOS PAID TO "STJ
ORDERS OF ALL KINDS
in bis line.
rilRXIJYtt. - - Tl'IMilKG.
I AH rREPABED TO 0 v
AltXi KIXDS OF TURKISCl:
I ke'p on band and make to order
. ; . : AS w - -
Shop near tho "Magnolia Mills."
JOHN M. METZLER
Albany, Nor. 28, 1868-12
our shoulders to the wneel and work
while work is to be done.
The Eighth Section op the Plat
form. The eighth section of the Dem
ocratic platform as originally offered, read
as follows :
8th. That the continual payment of
the semi-annual interest on the bonded
debt of the United States, without abate
ment, together with other enormous-'expenses
for which the people are taxed,
makes an burden too intolerable to be borne
without an effort to find some speedy
means of relief. That the amount of the
bonded debt is increased more than two
fold by the venal, illegal and unjustifiable
-terms of its contraction. That there is
neither justice or wisdom in the repeated
payment of the principal by tho contin
ued payment of the interest. That it is
no part of good policy or good govern
ment to embarass the energies of labor
and all business enterprise, by excessive
and oppressive taxation for the benefit of
a combination of untaxed capital. That
the aggregate, semi-annual interest has
more than compensated the bondholders,
and that to relieve the country and re
store prosperity, the public bonded debt
of the United States ought to be ward
ed as cancelled.
On motion of Huaason, of Wasco, the
last clause was stricken out, and the fol
lowing inserted in its stead :
That to relieve the country and to re
store prosperity, we favor an equitable
adjustment of the bonded debt of the
The dishonorable and treacherous sen
timent remains the same, says tho Ga
zette, "although it now stands forth in
the select and comely garb of select and
ingenious phrase. And thus the issue is
made up. The party which has sacrificed
so much for the life of the nation in the
past, will rescue its name from dishonor
now. Again the hideous crest of treason
is lifted in our midst, but the poople are
true at heart, and will trample it ia the
liaez, named Cohen, has arrived at
Washington, bringing important inform
ation as to affairs in San Domingo.
Commenced. llegistratiou of ne
groes under the Fifteenth Amendment
commenced in Baltimore on the 1st. -
MiRDER Cases. Seventeen murder
cases arc already on the San Francisco
Destroying Fish. The" Owyhee
Avalanche has the following, which it j
calls "fishing with a vengeance." The
man who would destroy fish in this way
ought by some means to be taught bet
" Colusa Bill, stage driver on the Boise
line, informs us that fishing by means of
giant powder is being extensively in
dulged iu at the Snake river ferry. The
mode of operation is to take a pieco ot
the cartridge, attach percussion cap and
f use as for blasting purposes, and fasten
all to a piece of wood. They then row
out into the stream and throw the infer
nal machine overboard. Hastening back
to the shore, a deafening report is soon
heard. The ground shakes, tho waters
surge to and fro, -und fish in great num
bers are seen floating belly upwards on
the surface of the river. Nothing is
then requited but to take the boat and
gather up tho spoils. This is an expe
ditious mode of fishing, and effectually
supersedes nets, hook and line. Like
nitro glycerine it is a principlo of giant
powder to use its greatest power on the
greatest point of resistance, which of
course is downward in this instance. It
is the powerful and instantaneous con
cussion that stuns and kills the fish.
GastronomiCAL A new and origi
nal weekly is announced iu London, to
be. called iheluufe and Fork.
Removal. Efforts are being made to
remove Casey, Collector of the port of
New Orleans. - -
It is said that there is no 1 olier spot
of around than a pctrolium oil district.
friends and their country.
The following is a correct list of the
officers lost and saved :
Lost Commander E. P. Williams ;
Lieutenant Commande3 W. F. Stewart,
A. W. Muldaur; Paymaster T. S. Tul
liick, Jr.; Masters Walter Sergeant, J.
K. Pheian ; Ensigns J. II . Cowie, Chas.
E. Crown Midshipmen W. - 13. Uhler,
G. K. Bower, C. A, Copp, J. C. Hull,
G. C. Adams ; Assistant Surgeon Froth
ingham ; Engineers N. B. Lillig, II.
Uarstow, C."W. C. Senter, John Tor
rence ; Carpenter J. D. Pinner ; Pay
master's Clerk W. C. Thomas, and ninety
Saved Master J. J. Yates ; Surgeon
Suddard ; Captain's Glerk W. W. Crown
inshield ; Boatsaraiu N. Anderson, and
As yet none of the bodies have been
recovered. All, or nearly all, could have
been saved, had the Bombay sent her
boat to the assistance of the Oneida.
Tho feeling against Captain Eyre, of the
Bombay, at Yokohama, is iutense and
The position of the Oneida was ascer
tained by a spar, which at low tide rises
four or five feet out of water a poor
monument to mark the last resting place
of one hundred and fifteen gallant sea
men who went down with the ship.
Commenting upon the above details,
the S. F. Commercial Herald says :
There is abundance of proof to show
that Capt. Eyre was warned of his dan
gerous proximity, and of the fatal results
that must attend a continuance of his
then course. There is also abundant
evidence that signal guns of distress, to
the number of seven, were fired immedi
ately after tho collision, by the stricken
vessel, and tnat tnose signals were wnotiy
disregarded by Capt. Eyre, although suf
ficiently distinct at. Yokohama, twenty
miles distant.- There is no end et evi
dence to prove that Capt. Eyre ignored
the siuking ship and her drowning crew,
but serenely pursued his voyage, with as
much equanimity as if he rejoiced iu his
deed. It is also in evidence that he
failed to make any report of the a&air on
his arrival at Yokohama; nor even any
allusion to tho matter, until the arrival
of Surgeon Suddard and fifteen eur
vivors from the destroyed vessel. He
seems, throughout, to have exhibted a
most apathetic nonchalance, if not an
absolute indifference, at having sunk an
American war steamer, and 'buried her
gallant crew beneath the waves. w
It is certain that our government will
insist upon a most rigid investigation of
this sad affair, which has caused the loss
of a noble ship and the lives of llo
still nobler men, such as tbe nation can
not afforcl to" lose,
HOW REV. J. HYATT SMITH CHASED A
The following story is told by Rev. J.
Hyatt Smith : .
We stopped at Syracuse (New York)
for dinner. You remember the railroad
depot, centrally situated, with its eastern
and western entrances exactly alike as
much so as the two ends of a car. After
we had diucd, the depot master informed
me that we had seventeen minutes to
spare before the departure of the Eastern
train. This, thought I, will give nie an
opportunity to see the city and a glorious
chance for "a 6moke," provided a clergy
man could be tempted into such a piece
of wasteful nd worldly amusement. I
sauntered forth, and, after an absence of
exactly thirteen minutes, having enjoyed
a delightful and soothing fit roll,. I was
leisurely returning, watch in hand, when,
to my sudden astonishment, I beheld the
train slowly gliding out at the other end
of the depot, and increasing its speed at
every puff of its gigantic locomotive.
Here indeed was a "call" that admitted
of neither correspondence nor delay
there was no time for "taking into con
sideration." So, without conferring with
flesh or blood, I set off like a sky-rocket
with a double fuse. For a moment I
thought I had it all my own way ; I
thought I was gaining ground, although
1 knew I was losing wind. I was en
couraged in the race by sundry helpful
fellows, who kept crying out as I passed,
"Go it gaiters if" "plucky boy !" "he
ain't ieft, O no!" and ether well meaning
and benignant exhortations. Though
they intended, perhaps, helping me over
the course, 1 fi-und that the more they
shouted, the less inclined I was to run,
and the more decidedly did the locomo
tive make terrible headway against me.
To give up the chase, to submit to the
chagrin of being left ; to lose my party
and my btrggage ; to meet with disap
pointment and not to meet with friends? ,
all this was bad enough ; but the thought
of encouuteriog, all the way btek to the
depot, that line of interesting individuals
who -with their cheering exclamations
had so feelingly encouraged me on my
outward journey; this was the bitterest
pill in this unexpected dose.
But it must be done ; so tapering off
gradually 1 gave up the contest, and
turned back to meet my fate, and if I
could find him the depot master whose
blundering statements were the cause of
all my trouble. Without search that in
dividual advanced to greet mo with the
bland recognition of a fact that no one
could well deny, "Well, you got left, did
you ?'.' I plied only with the resent
ment of a "silencing eye." If I looked
as I tried to look, my photograph taken
at that instant would hardly be chosen
to grace an album gallery of "eminent
divines." Several bystanders seeking
information, asked, with a show of confi
dential interest in my case, on what wise
tho thing had happened? and others
wishing "to point a moral, advised me to
be on hand a little earlier next time."
With returning breath relief and words
came together, and I squarely eharged
the railroad official with all the blAine.
I spoke of his incompetency in no meas
ured terms, recalling how that after I
had placed my patty iu the car, he had
assured me that there were full seventeen
minutes to spare before the train went
out ; "while hero," said I, with a tri
umphant exhibition of my watch, "the
seventen minutes are even now barely up,
aud yet the train is gone out of sight."
After no little hot shot cast back and
forth, with the usual variations and final
perorations of "you did aud you didn't,"
"you're another," etc., I asked him
whether I would beriskingano'her chance
of being left if I depended upon him to
give me the exact hour of tho departure
of the next Eastern train. "Eastern 1"
exclaimed he. "Yes, Eastern," I replied,
with a decidedly upward and sarcastic
inflection. "Why," quoth he, "the train
you've just been chasing with such good
luck wasn't an Eastern train, but the
Western express '." With much and in
teresting confusion and excitement. I
stammered out, "Then where in Joppa
is the Eastern train V "Why. there it
is," replied he, "just getting under head
way at the other end of the depot ; log
it. or vou'll lose that." If ever 1 did
hiake Dexter time I made it, then. I
passed right through that depot like the
wind. Ifelt as ii I was all legs. One
glance, however, at the rear door of the
last car as I was nearing it, came near
being too much for me. I discovered
the group of my long lost friends, whose
forms and faces seemed bursting with
poorly suppressed and ill-timed mirth.
As I reached safely the platfoim, the
fire that opened upon me could only bo
equaled for its merciless effect by the fire
in the rear, Irom wl ien l uau proviuen-
tially fled. I heard jibes, and jokes and
, . ., , , i . i-
leers. A neara ine noarse laugmcr ui
full chested men, tne Hysterical enoris oi
mirth exhausted women. They had 11
witnessed ray chase after the wrong train;
now fearful lest indeed I should overtake
it, and then rejoiced at my evident lack
of what jockeys call "bottom ;" as my
speed began to slacken ard my chances
with the locomotive began to grow "small
by degrees and beautifully less." They
had witnessed the "blowing up"adminisv
teicd the depot iiiaster, the strange pro
crastination in starting for the right
train, until at length it had actually
started and I had entered upon a second
"stern chase." Then they feared I was
left again, as they looked with breathless
interest on the unequal contest of legs
versus a locomotive. They had witnessed
my final triumph, but how gracefully I'
was welcomed, and with what feeling J
received their peculiar congratulations I
leave to my readers to imagine,
. Mark Twain married about $80,000
with his wife..
One Week irom My JDlaree.
BT JOSH BILLINGS.
Monday Had suckers for breakfasts
Suckers and sassidges are the 2 luxurys
or life; the other luxury is ezy boots.
Tuesday Awoke with a splendid hed
ake, caused by drinking two much water
the evening previously and going to bed
at nine precisely. Breakfasted on the
butt end of a sassidge and felt like a
dorg. - " . .
Wednesday Reckollccted of asking
a man in Messeury cf beans was a sure
krop in his parts. lie said they waz.es
"sartin az a revolver.' Ecflecktcd on
the danger of carrying concealed weep
ous. Reckolr;terl ao-in nf hp.ine in Nil
Hampshire during a severe eno storm,
and innocently enuff remarked that I
never see enythin lite it, and wa told
by pne of iie Mrooui' boarders that it
warnt nothing, he had seen it fall over a
thousand feet. " What," sez I, " thous
and fet, level ?" " No, eed he, " but a
thousand ieetfrom on high." I refleck
tcd how ezy it wuz for some people to lia
and tell the truth at the same time. '
Thursday Reckolleckted once more
ov being on Red river, in Aikinsaw, and
seein a large piece ov frame by the side
ov the road; inquired ov a private citi
zen, who was leadin a mule by 1 ov his
ears, -what tho frame work mought be.
lie said it waz a " big fiddle, aud took 3
yok ov oxen to draw the bow, and they
had to'hawaod gee to change the tune.'
llcflcckted ou that passage- in the poet
wich sez " man is fearfully and wonder
fully maid," and thort the remark might
apply to the fiddles iu Arkansaw without
spiling the remark.
Friday Visited my washerwoman,
and blowed her up for sewing ruffles and
tuckes in the bottem ov my drawers.
She was thunderstruck at first, but ex
plained the mystery by saying she had
sent me by mistake a pair that belonged
to . I blushed like boiled loh-
stcrs, and told her she must be more
keerful in future about such things; I
might be ruined for life.
Saturday Writ this diaree for the
week from memry, and I am satisfied
that I've got a good memry. Reflecktcd
upon the vanity ov human wishes ; re-
fleckted how often I'd wished to be rich,
and how seldom my wishes had bin
f .1 .... ...
auuuu. imuocu iu 1 11 iuiuic uui iv
wish for ennything until I had it thrcQ
weeks, and see how I liked it.
Men Who Win Women. Nature
has so made the sexes that women, like
children, cling to men ; lean upon them
as though they were superior in mind
and body. They make them the suns ot
systems, and - their children revolve
around them. Men are gods, if they but
knew it, and women are burning incense
at these shrines. Women, therefore, who
have good minds and pure hearts, want
men to lean upon. Think of their rev
erouting a drunkard, a liar, a fool, a lib
ertine ! If a man would have a woman
to do him homage, he must be manly ia
every sense ; a true gentleman, not after
the Chesterfield school, but polite, because
his bcait is full ot kindness to all ; one
who treats her with respect, even defer
ence, because she is a woman ; who never
condescends to say silly things te her ;
who brings hor up to his level, if hia
mind is above hers ; who is ever anxious
to do right; who has no time to be friv
olous with her. Always dignified in
speech and act ; who, never spends too
much upon her, never, yields to tempta
tion, even if she puts it in his way ;
ambitious to make his maxk in the world,
whether she encourages him or not, who
is never familiar with her to the extent
of being an adopted brother or cousin,
who is not over careful about , dress, al
ways kind and considerate, but always
keeping his place of the man, the head,'
aud never losing it. Such deportment,
with noble principles, good mind, energy
and industry, will win any woman in the
world who is worth winning. ;
A Horrible TnEORy. The ap
proaching execution in Paris has revived ,
the old question whether death instanta
neously -follows upon the severance of
the head from the body. In a letter to
Galouis Dr. Pinel asserts hat decapita
tion does not immediately affect the
brain. The blood which flows after de
capitation comes from the large vessels
ot the neck, and there is hardly any call
upon the circulation of the, cranium.
The brain remains, in fact, nourishing
itself with the blood retained by the
pressure of the air. When the blood
romiiniTiff in ihn llfVirl ftt thft moment of
separation ia exhausted, there commences -
nnt nf ilonfh Lilt nf inprtifl.
which lasts up to the moment when the
organ, no longer fed, ceases to exist.
Dr. Pinel estimates that the brain found
nourishment in tho residuary blood for
about an hour after decapitation. The
period of inertia would last for about two
hours, and absolute death would not en-
.... . 1..V
sue till alter tne space oi aooui mree
hours altogether. If, he adds, a bodiless
head indicates by no. movement the hor
ror of its situation, it is because it ia
physically impossible that it should do
so, all the nerves for the transmission of
orders from the brain to tho trunk being
severed. But there remain the nerves
of hearing, of smell and o& eight.
" FianT. Tho last deposit of $1,000.
each, by Jem Mace and Tom Allen,
prize fighters, was made in Now York on
the 21st. The fight is expected to come
off near New Orleans about the 10th of
A special train of 12 cars, loaded with
tea, from San Franoiaoo, was throw
from the track near Cedar Rapids, Iowa,
March S8th. The ground was soft, and
but little damage was done to the cars,
and none to the tea.