VOL. 1. ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 1869." NO; 52, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 18G9. now Smith asked the Old Man. Smith bad just asked Mr. Thompson's daughter if she would give him a lift out of bachelordom, and she had said "Yes. - ; ; It therefore became absolutely neccs sary to get the old gentleman's permis sion, so, as Smith said, the arrangements might be made to hop the conjugal twig. ' Smith said he'd Tether pop the inter rogatory te all of old Thompson's daugh ters, and his sisters, and his lady cousins, and his aunt Hannah in the country, and the whole of hia female relations,' than ask old Thompson. But it had to be done, and so he sat down and studied out a speech which he was to disgorge at old Thompson the Tory first time he got a hy at him. So Smith dropped in on one Sunday evening, when all the family had meandered around to meeting, aod found him doing a sum in a beer-measure. : "How are you, Smith Ve said, old Thomnsnn. as th former walked in. 'white ,.. , j .. as a piece of chalk and trembling as if he had swallowed a condensed earthquake. Smith was afraid to answer, 'cause he wan't sure about that speech. lie knew lie had to keep his grip on it while he had it there, or it would slip from him quicker thin an oiled eel through an angur-hole. So he blurted out : "Mr. Thompson, Sir : Perhaps it may not he unknown to you, that during an extended period of five years I have been busily engaged in the prosecution of a commercial enterprise" "Is that so, and keepin' it a secret all this time, whila I thought you were tend in store ? "Well, by George, you're one of 'em, ain't you ?" Smith had begun to think it all over again, to get the run of it. , - "Mr. Thompson, Sr.K. Perhaps it may not be unknown to you, that during the extended period of five years I hare been busily engaged in the prosecution" of a 'commercial enterprise, with the determi nation to secure a eufficient maintenance"- . "Sit down, Smith, and help yourself to beer. Don't stand there, holding your hat, like a blind beggar with paralysis. 1 never have seen you behave yourself so queer in all my born days." Smith had been knocked out again, and so he had to wander back again and take a fjresh start. "Mr. Thompson, Sir : It may not be unknown to you, that during an extended period of five years I have been engaged in the prosecution of a commercial enter prise, with the determination to secure a sufficient maintenance" I "A wbatenance ?" asked old Thomp son ; but Smith held on to the last word as if it was his only chanco, and went on : "In the hope that some day I might enter wedlock and bestow my earthly possessions upon one whom I could call my own. I have been a lonely man, sir, and have felt that it is not good for man to be alone j therefore I would" : . "Neither is it, Smith j I'm glad you dropped in. How's the old man ?" . "Mr. Thompson, "Sir," said Smith, in despairing confusion, raising his voice to. a yell, "it may not be unknown to yon, that daring an extened period of a lonely man, I have been engaged to enter wed lock, and bestowed all my enterprise on one whom I could determine to be good for certain possessions no, I mean that is that Sir. Thompson, Sir : - It may . not be unknown" "And then, again, & may. Look here, Smith ; you'd better lay down and take something warm j you ain't well." : Smith, sweating like a four year old colt, went in again : "Mr. Thompson, Sir : It may not be lonely to you to prosecute me whom you a friend, for a commercial maintenance, but but eh dang it Mr. Thompson, Sir: It" . . "Oh, Smith, you talk like a fool. I 'have never seen a more first-class idiot in the course of my whole life. What's tho matter with you, anyhow ?" . "Mr. Thompson, Sir," said Smith, in an agony of bewilderment, it may not be ' known that you prosecuted a lonely man 1 Who is not good for a commercial period of wedlock for some five years, but' See. here, Mr. Smith, you'te -drunk ; and if you can't behave better than that, you'd better leave. If you don't, I'll chuck you out, or I'm a Dutchman." ( "Mr. Thompson, Sir," said Smith, frantic with dispair, "it may not bo un known to you that my earthly possessions are engaged to enter -wedlock five' years with a sufficiently lonely man, who is not good for a commercial maintenance "The deuce he isn't. Now, you 'just git up and git, or I'll knock what little brains out of you you ve got left." With that, old Thompson took Smith and shot him into 'the street as if he'd run him against a locomotive going at the rate of forty miles an hour. Before old Thompson had time to shut the front door, Smith collected his legs and one thing and another that were lying around on the pavement, arranged himself iu a vertical position, and yelled out : 4t'Mr. Thompson, Sir : It may not be known to you" which made the old man so wretched mad that he went out and set a bull terrier on Smith before he had time to lift a brogan, and there was a scientific dog fight, with odds in favor of the dog, lor he had an awful .hold for such a small animal. Smith afterward married the girl, and lived happily about two nronths. At the end ot that time, he told a confidential friend that he would willingly take more trouble and undergo a million more dog bites to get rid of her. Yakima Indian- Agency. The fol lowing paragraph in relation ; to Father Wilbur and the Yakima . Indian Agency, taken from Wednesday's Unionist, we heartily endorse. We do not believe there is a man living who can better fill the position recently occupied by Father Wilbur at Yakima. The Indians love and respect him, and his peer in honesty and every characteristic that makes the true man, doesn't live therefore there was no plausible excuse for his removal : General Grant rather missed it when he removed Father Wilbur from , the Yakima Indian Agency, and put a mili tary gentleman in his place. There are few as distinterested men or better Christians extant than this reverend and stalwart pioneer Methodist, who has the energy and business tact to have succeeded in making money, if that had been his object, i or of achieving distinction in public life, if he had been ambitious, for he had the personal qualities to com mand it. lint Father Wilbur devoted himself to the general good, and as a minister of the gospel, he worked with his hands as well as with his mental powers. We used to see him hauling timbers with an ox-team, in , 1850, to build the Portland Academy, and he was as ready on the Sabbath with a sermon as he was week days with the ox-goad. When he devoted himself to the work of preaching to the Indians at Yakima, he did so with. his whole soul, and with no speculative intention j and when he was appointed Indian Agent, ne strove to benefit the Indians, not to enrich him self. To replace sdeh a man with some inexperienced - military officer, on the poor plea of. doing the Indians a service and prevent them from being swindled, was unwise, for the military officer who attempts to succeed him will find it diffi cult to convince his charge that his pre decessor was not a better man. ' A Divided House. There seems to be a prospect that Mormon ism will des troy itself. A war has broken out- at Salt Lake between Brigham Young and Alexander and David Smith, sons ot the first Mormon prophet. At a Josephite meeting on the 11th instant, Alexander Smith characterized Brigham . Young's system as the vilest iniquity that ever blur red the earth. ' All we have to Bay, is, let the war go on. If the factions will eat each other up, "Kilkenny like, our coun try will be rid of a semi-religious nui sance which may cause the Government trouble to root out. Our sympathy is therefore .with the Smith Jamily, hoping it may absorb Brigham Young and then destroy itself. ' A house divided against itself must fall. Down with Brigham, and then down with the Smiths ! . The New York World says : A Chi- gUIUV Vlglll wip . w.A. mwm auuy 0 said to have just arrived in this country. We advise that he be engaged as Super intendent of Police in San Francisco, to protect hia fellow countrymen from the An Unfortunate Widow. Sol. Smith related the following odd occurrence during his peregrinations in Georgia: ! .Between Caleba Swamp and Line Creek, in the "Nation," we saw a consid crable crowd gathered near a drinking house, most of them seated and smoking. We stopped to see what was the matter. It was Sunday, and there had been a quarter race for a gallon of whisky. -The first thing I noticed on alighting was the singular position of one 3f the horses of the party. He was kneeling down and standing on Ms - hinder feet, his head wedged in' between the en da of two logs of a grocery, and he was stone dead, having evidently run directly against the building at full speed, causing the house the house to partially fall. About five paces from the horse lay the rider, quite senseless, with a gash in his throat which might have let out a thousand lives. As I said, most of the crowd were seated and smoking. "What is all this ?" I inquired. "What is the matter here ?" "Matter?", after awhile answered one in a drawling voice, giving a good spit, and refilling his mouth with a new quid. "Matter enough ; there's been a quarter race." -. , "But how came this man and horse killed ?" I asked. ."Well," answered the chewing and spitting gentleman, "the man was con siderably in liquor, I reckon, and he ran his hoss chuck agiinst the house, and that's the whole on it." "Has a doctor been sent for?" inquir ed one of our party. "I reckon there ain't mueh use of doc tors here," replied another of the crowd. "Burnt brandy would not save either of them, man or hoss." j .-.,.,,. "Has this man a wife and children ?" inquired I. : "Ne children that I knows "on," an swered a femalo who was sitting on the ground a short distance from the dead man, smoking composedly. ; "He has a wife, then," I remarked. "What will be her feelings when she learns the fatal termination of this moat unfortunate race?" j . " "Yes," sighed the female, "It was an unfortunate race. Poor man, he lost the whisky!" ; "Do you happen to know his wife ? Has she been informed of the untimely death of her husband 1" ; were my next inquiries.' '" " " ' "Do I knew her? has she been inform ed of his death ?" said the woman. "WellI reckon you ain't acquainted in these parts. 1 am the unfortunate wid der." . Perilous Sleep. The Union of the 11th inst., says that about eleven o'clock A. M., on Sunday last, as the westward bound freight train of the Central Pa cific Railroad was traveling along a short distance this side of Secrettown bridge, a man was discovered sitting on one of the rails, not far ahead of the engine, fast asleep, with his head between his knees. An attempt was made to stop the train, but before it could bo done the pilot of the locomotive Growler struck and knocked the man from the track, causing him to roll down the embank ment.' The - train was backed up, and the unfortunate individual looked after. Being '' covered with dirt, ' somewhat bloody, t nd apparently unconscious, he apparafinortally wounded. As ' en gineer took occasion to say that he must have been a ' , fool to make1 his bed on ' a 1 railrcad "track; anyway. ' He had scarce , finished the remark, however, betore the supposed to be as good as-a dead man jumped up and declared his ability J to . whip v any ; man wTio would insult him. Having thus found his voice, the man soon convinced those present that he was not much hurt, though quite drunk. - ; . A party of Chinese going to Truckee uwrnu MlVUgtt BUM among other trans had a household god a wooden Joss. '' ;:The Union congratu lates the godless Truckeeans ; suggesting that a wooden god will be a great im provement oq the lormer condition of the town. adult ftnnad in tfi KT...r?. T1 " flm eterv. came to thair death -)tv - violent or unnatural means. a Brigham Young says he will confine himself to one woman, if every member of Congress will do the same. . " . A Real Herd A Scene at Sea, Two weeks ago on board an English steamer a little ragged boy,' aged nine years, was discovered on the fourth day of the outward voyage from Liverpool to New lork, and carried before the first mate, whose duty it was to deal with such -cases. When questioned as to the object of his being .stowed away, and who brought him on board, the boy, who had a beautiful sunny face and eyes that look ed Tike the very mirrors of truth, replied that his stepfather did it, because he. could not afford' to keep him, nor pay his passage out to Halifax, where he had an aunt who was well off, and to whose house he was going. The mate did not believe the story, in spite of the winning faco and truthful accents of. the boy. He had seen too much of stow aways to be easily deceived by them, he said ; and it was his firm conviction that the boy had been brought on board and provided with food by the sailors. , The little fel low was very roughly handled in conse quence. Day by day he was questioned and requestioned, hut always with the same result, v He did not know a sailor on board, and his father alone had secre ted him and given him the food which he ate. f "-:". V ' At last the mate,; Wearied by the boy's persistance in the same , story, and per haps a little anxious to inculpate the sailors, siczed him one day by the collar and dragging him i to the fore, told him that unless he confessed the truth in ten minutes from that time ; he would hang him on the yard arm. ne then made him sit down uqder it on tho deck. All around him were the passengers and sai lors of the midday watch, and in front of him stood the inexorable mate, with his chronometer in his hand, and the other officers of the ship by his side. It was the finest sight, said our informant, that we had ever beheld to seo the pale, proud, scornful face of that, noble boy, his head erect, his beautiful eyes bright through the tears that suffused them. When eight minutes had fled, the mate told him he had but two minutes to" live, and advised him to speak the truth and save bis life but he replied, with the utmost simplicity and sincerity, by ask ing the mate if he might pray. The mate said nothing, but nodded his head, and turned as pale as a ghost, and shook with trembling like a reed with the wind. And there, all eyes turned on him, this brave and noble little . fellow, this poor waif from society owned not, and whose own stepfather, could not care for him there he knelt with, clasped hands and eyes upraised to Heaven, while he, repeated audily the Lord's Prayer, and prayed the dear Lord Jesus to take him to heaven. Our informant adds that then and there occurred tf scene as of Pentecost. Sobs broke' from strong, haid V harts, as the mate" sprang forward to the ' boy and clasped him to his bosom, and kissed him and blessed him, and told him how sin cerely he no believed his story, and how glad he was that he had been brave enough to face death and be willing to sacrifice his life for the truth of his own word. 7 ... ; , Perished or Famine and Thirst. F. G. McDonald, under date of July 26th. writes to the Sherman town (White Fine) Telegram, irom his camp at the McDonald salt ranch, in Nye ' county (Nev.), that on the day f previous a man was found by a gentleman named Bas fbrd, in sv- dying condition, near 5 Mc Donald's station. When found he was still able to speak and to swallow a little, bat was past all helpj and died at sun down.. When found he stated that he was lost, and bad been! unable to get up for three days. His name, from a letter found upon him, was supposed to be William H. Woodbridge. He was a man about forty years of age. r He was probably en the way firom White Pine to Reveille District, and died for want of food and" water. He passed within three hundred yards of plenty of water, in full sight of the road, but was probably so crazed he did not know anything about it. "He was properly buried by the men at the salt marshy ,-irv' .... j i . ' . '. . Ex-Attorney General -Evarts is the hap py father of thirteen children, among whom are two pair of twins', i ' ; The Catholic priest at Klein Zell, a celebrated holy place Con the Continent, has turned Protestant and married. Amwingi Railhoae Incident: Scene A railroad depot train? ; about to depart engine bell ringing for" Iher last time conductor cries "Alf aboardf V A, yell heard down the road-, leading to the village horse attached to a lumber wagon coming at a heavy gallop boy driv ing and laying on the lash man' standing up and swinging his hat aud yelling, " Hold on with them keers I" hair trunk with' brass nails in back end of wagon bobbing up and down, standing on its head and throwing flip-flaps. Conductor holds or a minute uiaa with white hat jumps out before the trunk reaches the platform jams his hat on bis head, side to front grabs hair trunk and rushes for- the "keers" trunk pitched into baggage car and white hat tumbled aboard by several accommodating individuals on ' the plat form as the train moves away. White hat, disheveled, out of breath and perjpiring, drops into a seat by the side of a crusty-looking passenger who is reading a paper. , White hat "Whew! right smart chase they gave me. Reukon this train is ahead of time ; ain't it sir ?" ' Crusty "Humph ! 'Do know." White hat -"Hurried so I hadn't time to check my hair trunk. Think it's safe 'thout one of the thingum-bobs onto it, hey ?" ' - . Crusty (shrinking deep into his coat collar and drawing impatiently away) -"Can't say!" . . White hat (determined to make him self agreeable "Live fur round here ?" Crusty (very gruff)--"No !" ; White hat "Been . traveling long ?" Crusty (burying himself still deeper in his paper) "No, I ain't." " White hat(peeriog carefully at Crusty's paper) "I see you are reading the New York Jlerald. Up in our parts we think MrGreelcy's paper about right. Ever read the Tribune ?" . Crusty (very snappish) 'No; wipe my feet on the Tribune." - White hat (taking a big chew of tobac co) "Well, stranger, you just keep on reading the Herald and wiping yoarvfeet on the Tribnne, and your feet'll know more than your head does !" Crusty gathered himself up with a growl and made lor another seat, amid the laughter of the passengers. A Through Car to the Pacific Ocean. The next best thing to travel ing to San Francisco in a Pullman palace ear, is a trip to the Hudson River Depot to inspect the one which ran through from the Golden Gate last week. It is on exhibition there previous to its depart ure for another through trip on Saturday next, and if one wishes to obtain a clear idea of the luxury of modern travel, he should by all means take a look at the "Wasatch." : By paying a small sum, $24,. extra, one can start in a Pullman palace at the Atlantic, dine en route on all the . luxuries which . the temperate zone produces, sleep on down, or what is far better this wearjier, on a superior spring mattress, and land a week later on the Pacific, refreshed and invigorated, and with a very profound contempt for those who ride in common chaises, or the old style sleeping, coaches of a year or two ago. New York Timet, . July How to Can Corn. The , following receipt for putting up corn for winter use will .be found valuable : 'Boil ,lt fif teen minutes on the ear ; then, dry .the grain an hour in pans io tho warm . sun shine ; next salt it just as much as will seseou.it for the tabid, fill in tin cans; leaving half an inch of space; put a gill or so of water in each can, and leave an aperture about the size Of a pin ia the cover, f x the escape of the gas then place the tins in a kettle, havinar just enough, water to reach 'within half an inch of the top of the cans; then boil moderately three-quarters of ad hour, and then solder up tho . vent. , The corn will keep perfectly sweet and good as long as required. A man named P. Lamber, living near Canton, Mo., attempted to swim across the creek with his little boy upon his back a few days ago. Beth were drown ed. A man named Rogers attempted to save them, and he was also drowned. Excursion tickets around the world. via Pacific Railroad, are to i be sold in New York in a short time, at about 51-, ir rr . ww . . , ' ow. v oat wouia our lathers I have thought of excursion tickets around the world I J ., Russia sends a Commissioner ta Rnmi. to see how great an advantage commer cially the canal is to be. VARIOUS ITEMS1. . Reader, did yon ever enjoy the ecstatic5 bliss of eoortiog 7 ., If yott dTdVt, then? get a little gat-aw-try, Tber areftge length of a potter's fife" ia twenty-nine1 years. After that" he be eomes cfey-, Here's te- internal inrprovemenfs, as' Dobbs said when- be BwaHewed a deee ef saltan . :'.' Motto for tne gheriff Kander tmto seizor this things which are seizor's. . " i Is there any ihivg in Ike world that can- beat a good Wife ? ' Yes badh-us-) MVhut fsnd of nXt the TssfdW &o ttc Kfce1 best ? Loplaad. . -. '. 'f Medfcal query -Whert a person-; de clares that bis bra Ware on fire, Is- k eti quotte to blow them out f 1 : . So you say that walking sticks came into use very long ago I ' Not at doubt of it ; don't we read that Adam had a Cain f . . It is stated that lightning strikes nor women then men every year. Its' be cause they're more attractive, to be sure An Englishman', paying an Irish shoe black with rudeness', the "dirty urchin"" said : i "My honey,- all tho- polish? ' you hare is upon your boots, and I gave you that.". . ; , .V-.V .; "X-' An Irishman being" asked why Tie re fused to pay a doctor's bill, said "Sure an' he didn't give me anything but some? emetics, and diril a one would lay in my stummick." , ;'M'j- i-A' . Tom asked an old "ten-per-eent" what he wanted to accumulate so much money for. Says he, "you can't take it with? you when you die, and if you could, it would melt." , . .. ', . "Mammy !" said a precocious littkr boy who, against his will, was made to rock the cradle of his littler brother, "If the Lord has any more babies' to give away, don't y6u take 'em." ! In a religious excitement in Boston, a certain person met a Christian neighbor who took' him by the hand and said i J "I have become a Christian." ."I am glad of it," ho replied. "Sup pose we now have a settlement of that little account between us. "Pay me what tboa owest." "No," said that newborn child.turning: on his heel, "religion is religion, and bus iness is business' '-VSl:''.r Boys' compositions are . eam&iuan to the point. Here is one : Water is good to drink, to swim in and skate on, when frozen. When I was a little baby the nurse used to bathe me every morning: in water. I bare been ttld that the In juns don't wash themselves but once in ten years. . I wish 1 was an Injun t -v A Kentucky paper says the way they exterminate crows in Rowan county is this s Several grains of corn are strung upon a horse hair, which, when swallow ed, causes a tickling sensation in the crow's throat. In his efforts togetitupr the crow invariably scratches bis bead off. MHowfast they build .booses, now,"" said H.; "they began that building last week, and now they are putting in the lights." f!Yes' aniwered the friend, "and the next week they will put in the The amusement of reading is among the greatest consolations of life ; it is the nursf of virtue; the upholder of adver sity j the prop of independence j the sup porter of just pride ; the itre c-thener 6f elevated opinion ; it is the slield against toe tyranny of aU petty ; passions ; it is the rcpeller of the- fool's sco2T and the knave's reason. ' A Memphis dispatoh announces that a ball is to be held ia that city for the pur pose of raising funds . to secure the re prieve of two prisoners new under sen tence of death for murder. . A. TIAW Veilim AYiei aae " ttaiai kM mmmru m " wmww eyvej ueaav wou Vieir wed at Chicago, called "Brethren of One Faiths ? The Tribune ys tat will be a very appropriate name so long as the Miurou uaa ouiy one mentoer. The Louisville. New Albaov and Chi cago Railroad is said to be so ctctlra that you' can sbiie hands witb tia en fjineer about half the time. tv'. 1.- t -- r? t' is to sertrxts tls tra wutaa tZ a,' - - tiT to lie ILao - Territory, tad form a new EUto wi.h the capital at I on rjmun.