The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, August 07, 1869, Image 1

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    VOL. 1.
NO. 48
A Familj- Jar, and What Came of It.
I remember it as though it had hap
pened vesterday. It was the lu&gcst row
we ever had in ous family. -
It was oue cold, rainy evening in the
nrlv tart of December. We all "sat
down to the supper table aa usual, but
not, apparently, in our usual good humor.
By "all," I mean our family, which
Consisted of father, mother, my ftwo sis
tors Clara and Lizzie Bob and myself.
t rx - . n
130 D uarver waa one vl uui muiiijr, aa
i he said, "by "brevet." His mother and
my mother had been friends in girlhood
and had never outgrown their intimacy
Ever since Bob had lived in the city be
had boarded at our house, and he seemed
like one of us.
- He was a jolly good fellow, and appear
ed to think a good deal of us all, especial
ly Clara, who, by the way, did not seem
to care particularly for him, though, o
course, sue used hini "well enough, as
we all did.
mi 1 - .1 . 1
i ne relations between tnese two naa
caused me some painful consideration.
liked Bob very much, and would have
been glad to have him in the family more
fully than by '-brevet." Besides this my
regard for him made me feel a warm
sympathy for his unreciprocated affection
for Clara. I was in love myself, and
thouzht if Maggie Cranston showed as
much indifference to me as Clara did
sometimes toward Bob, that I shoul
have been .inexpressibly miserable.
Besides this, Clara seemed to take a
good deal of pleasure in the company of
that stnpid Jim Bayne, whose chief de
lijrht seemed to consist in talking about
religion, politics and other subjects,
which bored me intolerably. I was nine
teen, and poetical.
It always seemed to me that Lizzie
would have suited Bob better than Clara,
. anyhow. They were both fond of music,
and often played and sang together"; but
they never got along smoothly together.
They did not appear to agree about any
thing but music, and they quarreled about
- that. Yet they would still practice to
gether. Their voices harmonized well,
and I suppose they tolerated each other
for the sake of the music.
I could never understand Lizzie's con
duct toward Bob. It was absurd: Some
of his ideas that she argued against with
all her might, when he stated them, she
as warmly defended in conversation with
the rest of us. 1 believe she delighted
in being contrary.
Mother sometimes rebuked her for her
petulance to Bob, but father said it made
no difference it was customary for mu
sical people to quarrel. lie was quick
tempered himself, and Lib was more like
him than any of the rest of us were.
But to return to that December even-"
ing. - As I have said, tl e weather was
bad. For that reason, I. suppose, th
, boy had failed to leave the evening paper
When father came in, he asked for the
paper, and said, "Confound the boy."
. When Bob came in; he asked for the
paper, and went up stairs to chango his
boots, grumbling out something about
hanging the boy to the nearest lamp
The girls were in bad humor, because
they had been unable to get out shopping
that afternoon on a holiday shopping ex
pedition : while mother was worried be
cause the bread had not turned out well,
and the buckwheat cakes showed a ten
dency to become sour.
Mother said something about the bread
said she had been over the bakihs? all
day, and it seemed as though it never
would rise. . She said, "I think either
the flour or the yeast is bad."
; Father, just to be disagreeable, I sup
pose, said, "A bad workman always com
plains of his tools."
Mother flushed up instantly. She was
a good bread-maker, and she knew it.
She said, "That don't apply to me. We
generally have as good bread as any one.
Don't you think so, Robert ?" '
Bob, who looked as though he was
working out some problem in mental
arithmetic, answered, "I don't presume
to criticise the fare at my boarding
This was improving (?) things rapidly
Bob calling our house his boarding
house. "
After supper Bob went up to hi.s room
and smoked a cigar, and afterward came
down in a more social humor. In ac
cordance with a previous arrangement,
ho and Lizzie sat down to practice an in
strumental duet.
I sat in the parlor reading, and w long
as tho music ran smoothly on, I paid no
.attention to it j but suddenly there wasa
discord, and then it ceased.
"You made a mistake there,'' said Bob,
pointing to the music.
"No, it was you," said Lizzie, and
there is where it was," pointing at one
of the hieroglyphics with which compos
ers disfigure paper.
"I beg pardon," said Bob ; "but I
could not have made feuch a mistake, as
I am quite familiar with the piece. I
played it with Miss Peterson the other
evening, and she made the same mistake
you did only she saw it when I pointed
it out." " -
"Oh, yes she would see that black
was white, if you pointed it out. What
has Miss Peterson to do with me ?"
"I surely thought that you and I had
lived long enough in the same house and
were sufficiently intimate if not friendly
to allow me to differ with you some
times, and even to quote authority in
support of my .own opinion when it was
at vaiiance with yours."
"Whatever friendly relations there
were need not continue. You have
chosen to define your position in the
honse as that of a mere boarder, and, as
such, had no right to flout another young
lady in my face, and claim that because
she made a mistake, I must have done
so, too. lou talfc queerly about this
music, anyhow. If you are as familiar
with the piece as you pretend, why did
you practice it ? 1 know you are "not
right about that mistake, and I don't be- j
lieve you think you are, yourself."
If a man had given Bob Carver the
lie so directly, I suppose he would have
knocked him down. As it was, he jump
ed up, without a word, and went to his
Ajizzie piayea several very lively airs
with great animation, and was as merry
as a bird until she went to bed.
Her apparent triumph over the matter
angered me, and I bluntly told her she
had been ill-natured and unlady-liko ;
whereupon she informed me that "child
ren should be seen and not heard."
At breakfast, next morning, all of us
had apparently recovered our good humor,
but there was something forced about
Bob's gayety I noticed that he and Liz
zie said nothing to each other. When
he left, he said he would not be back to
supper, (lie always dined down town.)
As this was not altogether unusual, no
one but myself appeared to notice it, ex
cept Clara, who-looked at Lizzie with a
sort of "I told you so" glance.
Bob came home late that evening, and
we did not see him until next morning.
At breakfast Lizzie seemed about to say
something to him, once, but did not do so.
Father, mother, and Clara went to
church. Bob and I concluded not to go,
and it was Lizzie's turn to stay at home
and superintend the preparations for dinner.
We are accustomed to eating - good
dinners op Sunday, as it was the only
time we could all eat that meal together
and take our time at it. We all enjoyed
those Sunday dinners keenly.
Just before the folks started to church,
Clara and Lizzie were talking earnestly
together, and Clara said, "Yes, you ought
to do it, and do it at once." . I gave no
heed to the words then, but afterward
knew what they referred to. -
Father had a sort of half library, half
office, up stairs, and there Bob and I
went; he to smoke and I to read. '
After we had been there a short time,
Lizzie tapped at the door and walked in!
asked her if she would have a cigar, to
which she made no reply, but walked
directly toward Bob, who involuntarily
got up to meet her. i
I saw that they were about to make up
their quarrel ; but as I had been present ,
at half a dozen make-ups pf theirs, I only
thought it uecessary to gaze, with sudden
interest, out of the window.
Lizzie commenced : "Mr. Carver, I
was rude; I was provoked at what you
said at the tablej aud so i'orgot myself;
I'm sorry."
I wished I had ,gono out; .but they
were between me and the door, so I did
not know what to do.
Bob maintained an awkward silence
for a -few seconds. I began to feel inter,
ested. I knew that was pretty much of
.-an, apology for Lib to make to any- one.
and I mentally said if he did not accept
it as frankly as it was offered, he wasa
well, not what I thought him. '
Lizzie must ha-vc grown, tired of his
silence, for she had turned aroand from
the window, when Bob said, "Stop.'
She turned toward hiui-andie continued-
"Lizzie, dou't think I am such a brute
as not to accept your apology. I was
only at a loss to find words to express my
regret at having provoked you into say
ing what you did. It was all my fault
"No, it wasn't," curtly returned Lizzie,
and I mentally concluded that they would
quarrel over this.
But Bob continued seriously, and in a
most lugubrious toue : "Well, may be it
isn't. I guess it is fate. It is the' result
I suppose, of oversensitiveness to your
indifference or dislike."
"Bob !" exclaimed Lizzie.
"It's true," he said, "I can't help
feeling that you don't like me, and my
. '
uneasiness ieaus me 10 increase your
aversion." i
I wished I had gone. They seemed
to be settling not only their last quarref,
but all they had ever had.
"You had no right to eay that, Bob.
You know I don't dislike you," said
Lizzie, actually breaking down and sob
bing. ' .
I guess he must have concluded that
he knew it, for he took her in his cap a
c-ious arms just as I passed them on t
rapid retreat, terribly ashamed of not
having gone in the first place.
I do not know what took place after I
left, but so far as dinner was concerned,
Lib might as well have gone to church.
Bridget got it- it all right, however,
and I think it was about the happiest one
we ever did eat.
Happiness is contagious, and there
was enough of it in Lizzie's eves alone
to have inoculated a whole regiment with
joy. ' j' '. ?
I believe Clara saw the state of affairs
at once, and shared Lizzie's joy to the
greatest possible degree.
Father and mother seemed to acjept
the "era of good feeling" without expla
nation, while Bob was insane.
He asked father about the sermon,and
on being assured it was an excellent one,
said he would take a little of it.
Father asked him "What?" and he
said "potatoes." ,
lie helped himself to a spoonful, and
then deliberately took a spoonful of but
ter. -.' " ; -
Mother significantly asked him if he
thought smoking agreed with him, and
he told her yes, he considered it a de
lightful exercise ; and as he gave her
this novel assurance, he reached for the
molasses and poured it over his potatoes
and butter. i
This was too much for Clara and me,
and we burst into an encontrollable fit of
laughter, which recalled Bob to his sen
ses ; and, blushing crimson, he confessed
that he was absent minded, as he had
just been able to see his way j clear in a
matter which had troubled " him for
months. - I .
He then heartily joined in the general
laugh at his mistakes ; Lizzie also joining
in, and blushing a pink accompaniment
to his, deep crimson flush.
Bob and father took a smoke in the
office thafafternoon, and mother and, the
girls held a conference in the parlor;.!
took a walk.
When I came back Clara said, "You're
a gump." . -
Without any idea of what that might
be, I meekly assented, and- said, "I had
no idea of what was coming; I thought
Bob wanted you instead of Lib."
"You're all the worse gump for that,"
said she ; ."and for. fear, you can't see
nvtuciuiujj bibo iq ume, aii ten you now
that I'm engaged to Mr. Bayne." '
I thought the marrying days of the
year had come, and went off to my room
to indulge in a delightful dream of my.
own hiarriage, in the far off f utufe, with
Maggie Cranston.
Five years have passed since then.
Clara and Lizzie got married, of course,
and I stood up at their Weddings. Clara
keeps house! - Bob and Lizzie still live at
our house, and father insists that - they
I do not think Jim Bayne so stupid as
I once did. ; Three years in the fish and
oil business, as junior member of the firm
of Martin & Son, have damaged my po
etid enthusiasm, while Bayno's seems,
somehow or other, on, the increase.
I have not married Maggie Cranston.
In fact, 1 do not know her. We did not
keep up our acquaintance long after she
left the boarding school where she was
when I so fully expected to marry her,
and thonght I could not get along with
out her. .
I am still a youthful bachelor, awaiting
on opportunity to quarrel with some
young lady, a3 Bob Carver did with cur
Lizzie; but I don't want any nineteen-year-old
brothers on hand at the recon
ciliation, r '
The Canvass in Tennessee. The
following in relation" to the canvass in
Ten nessce would seem to indicate con
siderable "closeness of argument." The
statement is taken from the 'Knoxville
le.ts of July 1st :
Tl - -I J n .
iunug jovernor center s closing re
marks at Clinton, yesterday, he was a
"circumstance" more severe and scathing
in his denunciation of Stokes than in any
previous 'speech; The "General's" mili
tary record was used pretty much in the
way that boys use a bladder, which is
puffed out and swelled by the winds it
confines within itself. Gov. Senter used
ii as a iuub-uaii, mrew it around among
the bystanders, and finally took it be
tween his hands, and, bringing them
sharply .together, burst it.
When the Bald Eagle" rose to reply.
ne iairiy trembled with anger and sramc.
liaising nis long linger and pointing it at
Governor Stokes, he said :
FEixow .CiTiZEns : I have a wife
and children whom I should greatly dis
like to part from. -,, Yet I tell Governor
Senter I will hold him personally respon
siblej after the election, for what he has
said to-day. If he considers himself
,1 Tilt
gentleman, i cnauenge mm to meet me
after the election, as a gentleman, and we
will then see who is the-coward and who
the man. I denounce Senter as a liar.
and I am ready to meet him any time
after the election.
Governor Senter, who was setting im
meaiateiy Denina -.tones, coolly arose
and informed Stokes tha't he was ready
to meet him now, or any time agreeable
to him(Stokes) previous to election, but
would prefer to settle the difficulty with
out delay, lie therefore invited btokes
to step out on the field in the rear of the
stand and obtain satisfaction. Stokes
replied that he. would settle the affair
after election.
Both speakers then intimated that the
discussion' was closed for the day. Senter
slapped Stokes on the shoulder and re
marked quietly j that he preferred to give
him satisfaction without delay. Stoke3
then replied that he did not mean any
thing serious, but desired Senter to un
derstand his desire for a fight expressed
in a Pickwickian sense.
Penalty of too much brain-work.
No man can do head-work faithfully
for more than four; or. five, or six hours.
If that time is exceeded, all the phospho
rus is -carried off, and the man becomes
irritable, broke down, and has softening
of the brain. I have seen this overwork
in lawyers, doctors, clergymen and mer
chants, who have worked the brain for
ten hours. They have dropped under
the burden. You cannot violate the law
of .God with impunity. Sir Walter Scott
did a large amount of brain work in his
day, but he did not overwork himself.
In his latter, days, however, he became
pecuniarily embarrassed, and resorted to
his literary pursuits to save himself ; but
he worked too hard and completely broke
himself down. . Ono of the best scholais
I ever knew broke himself down in his
younger days, bnt he lived on to seventy,
though he could only work some four
hours a day. After these hours he en-
erased in vigorous exercises to keep him
out of the house as much as possible,and
he continued one or the best professors
in the country. Ex.,
v Two Husbands The Chicago (111.)
Journal has the following in relation to a
woman of that city, who at present .is
living peacably and lovingly with two
husbands :
There is a very remarkable case of
matrimonial felicity (? in this city which
is not generally known to the public.
In I the West Division lives a woman
with two husbands, to each - of whom
she has been married in legal form. jAt
tho time the warjbroke out this woman
waa living-with her first husband, by
whom fiha had three children. Soon af
ter the breaking out of the rebellion her
husband enlisted, and went off ip the role
of "a brave soldier boy." A year or two
after, his wife heard .that he was killed in
battle. ; She heard nothing from him per
sonally; the war closed, and he failed to
write to or to report at his former "head
quarters in Chicago. His wife consid"
ered herself a wjdow, beyond all . doubt,
and in course of time she married again
But, a few months ago, to her amazement,
husband No. 1, whom she had mourned
as dead, returned to his long deserted
domicil, but, like Enoch Arden, only to
find his wife the spouse of an other man.
But, unlike Enoch Arden, ho failed to
die of a broken heart. A council of war
waa held by the three heads of the fam
ily, and the difficulty amicably adjusted.
What to some men and women similarly
situated would have resulted in pistols.
blood and litigation, was settled readily
and satisfactory by this amicable - trio.
It was mutually agreed that both hus-
bands should continue to be "liege lords"
of the woman, on equal terms, and she
should bo the wife of both husbands
boon alter the soldier husband s return
home, the wite presented to him and to
the world another child, the offspring of
husband No, 2. But this little circum
stance am not seem to disturb tne equi
librium of No. 1, nor the peace of the
household. - And there dwells that "hap
py family" one wife, two husbands, and
four children in a small cottage, as qui
etly and contentedly, to all appearances
as if nothing had ever happened.- Ver
ily, this is an age of wonders, and Chica
go is the place where they are now to be
Original Model. The Sonora Dem
ocrat, of the 7th instant, gives the follow
ing description of a pig, gotten up in that
vicinity is an original model :
Mr. J. n. Duckwall, of the Southern
Banch, in this county, has a pig four
weeks old, which is a curiosity. From
the middle of the body forward it is like
other pigs ; from the middle back the
body tapers similar to that of a duck,
with hind In
-WW -v-'j'J WMV W ? f lUlUVu AJL1 j
which are drawn up, crossing each other,
and stickout behind similar to the
oi a aucic wnen swimming, xt moves
about on its fore legs with the other pigs,
hplding the posterior part ? of its body
clear from the ground. It runs on its
fore legs alone as fast as ; a man. Mr.
Duckwall has his pigship in ; the pen,
which any one can see by calling .at tho
Southern Banch.
How the Dutch Wash. They do
not use a machine. They would scorn
the idea. They use simply refined borax.
Dutch women are well known as models
of cleanliness, at least in their own coun
try. They get up linnen whiter and
nicer than any others, and they do it by
using borax as a washing powder instead
of soda, in the proportion of a large hand
ful to about ten gallons of boiling water.
They thus Bave one-half in soap. Cam
brics and laces require an extra quantity
of powder,"while for stiffening crinoline
and underskirts a strong solution is nec
essary. Try it. . ..
"She Always Made Home Happy."
Such was the brief but impressive . senti
ment which a friend wished us to add to
an obituary notice of "one who had gone
before .. What better tribute could be
offered to the memory of the lost if Elo
quence, with her loftiest eulogy, poetry,
with its most thrilling dirge, could afford
nothing so sweet, so touching, so sugges
tive of the virtues of the dead, as those
simple words : "She always made . home
New Dress. The Portland c Herald
appears in a new areas, - it looks gay.
Nebraska Life. A citizen of Ne
braska thus posts as Eastern corrrspond
ent, who- ppeared a variety of questions
as to i ho Tcrritory.aod life there:
"What kind of a country do you live
in ?" - -
"Mixed and extensive.! It is made np
principally of land and water."
" What kind of weather t"
"Long spells of weather are frequent.
Our sunshine comes off principally dur
ing the day tune." .
"Have you plenty of water and how
got ::;flyv;:--iC-v--:- .' :
"A good deal of water scattered - about,
and generally got in pails and whisky."
"Is it hard?" .
"Rather so, when you have to go half
a mile and then wade in mud knee deep
to get it." .
"What kind-of buildings?"
"Allegoric, Ionic, anti-balorio, log and
slabs. ; The buildings are chiefly out of
doors, and so lo between joints that the
chimneys all stick out through the roof."'
"What kind of society ?"
"Good, bad, hateful, ' indifferent and
mixed." '- " . .".
"Any aristocracy ?"
"Nary one." ! ' ; 4
. "What do-your people do for 'a living
mostly ?"
- "Some work, some laze around, one's a
shrewd business manager, and several
drink whisky." w w : ' "
"Is it cheap living there V 1
v "Only live cents a glass, and the water
thrown in." ' . , "',- . ",
" : " Any taste for music V
"Strong. Buzz and buck saws' in the
day time, and wolf-howling and cat-fighting
"Any pianos there ?"
"No, but we have several -cow-bells,
and a tin pan in every family." : ii
"What could a genteel family in mod
erate circumstances do for a living?"
"Work, shave notes, fish, hunt, steal-
or if pinched, buy and sell town proper-
ty-" . - .
SnADE Trees on Public Roads.
The last session of the Illinois -Legislature
enacted, "That it shall be lawful ibr
owners or occupants of land bordering
upon any public road in this State, to
plant shade trees and ornamental trees
along and in such road, at a distance .not
exceeding one-tenth of tho legal width
of the road from its margin."
- A shoemaker received a note from a
lady to whom he was particularly attach
ed, requesting him to make 'her a new
pair of shoes, and not knowing exactly
the style she required, he dispatched a
written missive to heraaking whether
she would like them Jto be "Wround or
Squire Toad ?" The lady, indignant at
this rash statement, replied, "Kneether-i '
Two London clergymen appropriated
their sermons from the same source a few
Sundays since, and had the satisfaction
of seeing them printed simultaneously in
a Monday morning-paper. ..- . . ...
In a trial for assault and battery, said
the counsel: "I will now introduce an
eye-witness of the affair, Samuel -Smith.
What is your occupation, sir ?" ' "Blind
beggar-!" . --."
Richard Realph, old John Brown's
Secretary of State, has been appointed
assessor of internal revenue in the district
of Edgefield, South Carolina. '
Recently, a young married lady in HI
inois was found dead in her bed, and
Coroner's jury rendered a verdict of
"Died of - convulsions, aided ' by tight
lacing." " ' - . . "
A. highly intelligent reporter, the othar
day, in writing up a funeral, said r The
people passed in review before the corps.
Mazzini lives on soup and hash.' and
smokes thirty cigars a day." So say the
correspondents. ' ' ; ' '
A doctor of divinity did i fine thin
recently, in ringing in the- changes on
He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.?
"He that is aocessable to auricular," said
the doctor, 'let him not close the gates
of his tympani." : ' . - . -, ,
Saxe, the poet, is threatening to come
to California, with a lecture on "French
Folks at Home." -