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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (July 17, 1869)
dATlillUAY, JUIA. 17, lbli'J
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, JULY 17. 159.
" A TALE OF THE PRAIRIE. , s f
if - " " -;- "
The Gaming rays- of the setting sun
threw a glorious goldcu . light; far and
wide over a western prairie. The etherial
Azure of the sky was tinted with crimson
like, the bluatcd face of an alcoholic bum
mer.' Not a zephyr ruGod -th jrrassy
lrfaco of the plain, aud no sound broke
the impressive stillness save the melodi
ous cry of the slumgulion and the pensive
wail of a solitary bullfrog. The glitter
ing aheeu of a broad river lent additional
charms to thia gorgeous scene, and on
the bank of this river, in the calm even
ti JeV" there halted a weary cavalier,
mounted on a bobtailed steed of protru
sive anatomy. i
Thj rider, AJolpbua Blizzard, was a
magnificent specimen of the border hunt
er, and fought at two hundred and eighty
pounds. His handsome face was shaded
by a mass of wavy black hair, and a
sixty cent straw bat ; a superb moustache
graced his upper lip, and he had an ec
centric squi-Jt in his starboard eye. His
athletic form was encased in buckskin of
rather; questionable sanitary condition,
and there were indications that his own
skin was in the same fix. lie was armed
profusely, and a loaded demijohn dangled
at the horn of hi saddle.
For a time the ftalwart borderer gazed
pensively upon the ruaguificeut landscape
spread- before him ; then, with a pro
found ?igh, he raised the demijohn to
his lips, and a heavy snifter of the con
tents went gurgling convulsively down
his gullet. A .pleasant look irradiated
his interesting phiz ; his classic nose as
1 sumed a deeper, darker tint of red ; his
eyes snapped like clam shells at low tide;
his ears flapped joyously, and tho ambi
ent air was loaded with the odor of ben-'
aiuc .whisky. , :
Descending irom the saddle, he hoppled
his horse ia true frontier style, by tying
his left ear to his tail, and proceeded to
build a lire whereon to cook his evening
meal. An inspection of his grub-bag
showed to bis dismay, that , the supply
was reduced to oue corn dodger and two
onions, so seizing bis gun he rushed
madly forth in search of game. Fortune
was in a propitious mood. At , a short
distance a herd of buffaloes were playful
ly tossing each othef aloft upon their
spreading horns. Crack ! went the rifle
of the hunter and a four year old bull
fell headlong in the grass, with his, skull
smashed to atoms, and nine inches of his
tail carried, away, by the unerring bullet.
Steaks from the rump of the animal
were soon sputtering over the fire,sending
forth an aroma that was grateful to the
nostrils of our hungry hero. Bliz. was
an tatist of extraordinary capacity, so, he
slung the chunks of meat under - his
moustache with a vigor that, soon filled
out the kinks in his dilapidated stomach.
During this sumptuous repast the demi
john was repeatedly balanced upon his
upper lip, and he thei lay .ackAoo, tho
grass. , He was as happy asTi plantation,
nigger with a bran new red shirt...,
That air ia a bully supper, .now;' dog
goneot ef it ain't " . said fbe" Jhunter, ap
parently addressing a cloud of smoke that
curled upward from his pipe; "and this
wbiskj though I can hear it siss when
it reaches' my stcmick-niakes a" feller
fed good all over. Darned ef, I don't
her a song all. to . myself, though 'tain't
onoommon jolly out here all alone, by
grab. "Ahem ! ' 'W'''
. Tbe turtoy buztard'i a fragrant bird,.
An' o tbo perary dotg ; '
r Tbo killilo, be singa to iwaet, V s
An' so das a ole ball frog., ' ; i . . i . , .
Frog, ob ( frogea, fro "
t . , , , .,- Aa' s dux ole ball 1'rojt " -
. 1 Bul-Iy' Jones l Tery niee' gsl, t ,a i
, ; . . AU so's her brutber Sam t ! . ,.
"'"If 8ml 11 onlj marry me; f '. I
I wwMn't ear f r j .- v.j , ..s
"Wah, njyTwhite'brother fcifjgs ' like a
Oovcrnnjept male V'- said a deepi gutteral
voice, interrupting the 4itty.-i l),ni;i,
AdoTpTida Blizzard ' bounded into the
air - and - descended jon t hia; ,. f ee t ith. a
pistol in each hand, and -his. kqife ; be
tween bifftcethi There waBvengeaBfce
in his flashing eye, and death in bis com-
pressed lips ; but there was also a big
Indian on his backh and one grasping
each arm, so that before he could pull a
trigger he was hurled to the ground and
tied hand and foot.
lie swore fluently, he did. v,
The white mau will shut the hole in
his face !" howled a painted savage, as
he seized a stick of firewood, and gave
Bliz a belt on the jaw that knocked out
First blood for tho Indian.
The captive shut the hole. - . ;-
Wah! what does the pale face carry
in the big bottle ?" inquired the chief of
the party, raising the ' demijohn to his
nose. '-Firewater ! Ugh ! Good ! Indi
an like him"; and the red cuss threw
back his head, and swallowed at ' least a
quart The fiery- fluid nearly ! choked
him, but he slacked his lips, aud passed
it over to cuo of his companions, with a
grunt of intense satisfaction. The other
Indians, in turn, took a big drink. In
ten minutes a happier lot of heathens
didu't breathe. They laughed, danced,
gang, kicked Bliz in the ribs, eat all his
grub, drank the last of his whisky, broke
the demijohn over his head, and,' premis
ing to roast him in tho morning, went to
An hour after the last savage had suc
cumbed to the effects of the liquid light
ning, our hero raised his head slowly,
cautiously, and a ghastly, battered head
it was. One eye was closed, and his nose
looked like a boiled beet struck with a
club. To say that he was mad would
hardly couvey an idea of the vindictive
passion that raged in his soul.. A fearful
oath of vengeance escaped from his bleed
ing lips, and the convulsive heaving of
his breast split his shirt from stem to
stern. By a mighty effort of his hercu
lean strength he burst the thongs that
bound him, then, crawling like a huge
black snake through the grass, he reached
the fire, seized a burning brand, and held
it over the mouth of the nearest Indian.
The effect was terrific. A volume of
smoke burst from the potato trap of tho
intoxicated savage, with a hissing sound
like the burning fuse of a bombshell.
The brand was successively applied to
each of the prostrate red men, with the
same appalling effect; and then followed
a series of horrible explosions that filled
the air with human fragments, red hot
intestines, and flying scalping-knives.
In the midst of this dreadful eruption
Adolphus Blizzard danced and howled
with fiendish triumph, but a flying head
striking bim in the bread-basket doubled
him up like a half-shut jack-knife, so he
mounted his terrified steed and galloped
madly into the darkness.
!; There is a legend current on the piairie
that the spirit of Blizzard, on a phantom
steed, may be seen on dark nights gallop
ing across the plain, chased by Indians
belching forth blue flame; but a. strict
regard for truth compels the acknowledg.
raent that he is still a denizen of this
mundane sphere, and runs a gin mill in
the Pines." - ' - ' " ' "; ' " j:
A Splendid Newspaper Build-'
INO.- A. V. Richardson, wbo is -"writing
a description of the Pacific Railroad1 for
the New York' Tribune gives the follow
ing account of a newspaper office in ; the
-. The new office of the Chicago -Tribune
is the finest newspaper building in the
United States.' It is of white marble, fin
ished interiorly in chestnut and black
walnut,' four stories nigh, and with broad
roomy halls' and staircases. V It cost 8200,1
000; and - the-1 portions'--. rented..! beside
those required for the uso of the' news
paper, return ten per cent, per annum on
the entire investment. It is said that
the profits of the establishment for fifteen
months paid for the building.
t , r.. '- "V- ' ,- ' ;! ; f---
A new proposition is started for pay
ing the national debt. It is to be paid
immediately -fey direct assessment on the
property "of ; the ', country. " This is a
charming prospect for ' wealthy Demo
crats.- We commend" this plan to our
brethren of the Democratic press in Ore
gon. Oregonian. " ' " ,
: Proper ty purchased in Washington
three yearso, fo.$$0,66O, cannot ow
be bad lor' f 100K)0.. i So much for en
The West, aud Human Development. 5
Tho great West is .the land for a
broader, healthier and more ennobling
development of our race. IMen meet
here' as they have uever mc ' before.
They come from all quarters of the globe
as they uever immigrated befoie. ; Freed
from the cramping and restraining influ
ences of old, and to many worn out social,
political and ecclesiastical oustoius, we
may expect, rationally, to see the zeal,
energy aud ambition of the people, take j
new directions,- and secure uiovtj. results.
3Ien will think, talk aud act from, new
impulses, and towards new conquests in
the cause of human progress. There
may ba much that is. crude, and even
harsh, in the struggles that must attend
the peopling of these wide plains and
lolly mountains ; but courage or i!pluck,"
generosity and hospitable interchange,
and generous rivalry, will bring refine
ment and the freer culture of all the use
ful arts. The cast may affect contempt,
but the less n is old, and none need mis
take its indexing. The Assyrians con
temned the Persians, but tho Persians
undermined and overthrew their capital
and empire. Xerxes, at the head of
millions, "was overthrown in Greece, aud
Jjoce becoming - haughty, bowed down
beneath a Turkish power as a slave.
Rome, whoso name was strength, and
vyho was strong, contemned northern
barbarians, but the barbarians overrun
and divided the empire. Caisar carried
his victorious legions through Gaul, but
this day the army of the French is the
protection of the latest ruler of Rome, in
the very city of the Csesars. Wo need
not speak of eastern England contemning
the power of western colonies. The
power of America to day among the
nations of he earth, is the answering re
sult. So eastern New England, eastern,
southern and middle States,' may know,
and do know, that the west is destined
to be the seat of power, empire and pro
gress. Here is room for a hundred
States and. a population of hundreds' of
millions, and the triumph inevitable is
not one of war and desolation it is one
of peaceful but certain progress; the re
sult of a law of Nature in .her bestowals
and decay of resources and no power of
human assumption can stay its hand.
Here are the virgin fields, and there aro
the starving millions; and the scanty
fare which older and exhausted lands arc
compelled to offer in contrast to the
wealth, influence and hopeful future in
the new, will but repeat the old, old story
that, "Westward the Star of Empire
leads the way I"
Shaking Hands. As a mode of
salutation shaking hands as is common
in this country has its advantages over
many others practiced in various coun
tries. There are nations, .indeed, or at
least tribes, the people of which bid each
other the time of day by rubbing noses.
Now the inconvenience of this is manifest
because unpleasant results might follow
the contact of an acquiliae with a snub,
don't you see! 1 Worse than this, "be
cause more difficult, is tho gymnastic
salutation in usage amoDg the natives of
some mountain regions of Asia, the exact
latitude and, longitude of which wc do
not now remember. When two of them
meet,' they abandon themselves to their
feelidgs by stretching out each the right
leg, and planting the sole of one another's
feet together. Some of the sArabr wel
come a stranger by rushing at him full
tilt on horseback, pulling up with a jerk
as the noble steed'a nose touches his,
and then firing several pistols at him in
quick succession.? There is something
picturesque in this, but it has its draw
backs. It would bo considered rather
too boisterous for our civilizaUonl 'L Shak
ing hands is of great antiquity, and it
does seem tho most natural way of ex
pressing one's greetings to a friend.
Nevertheless, shaking hands may be car
ried to the'estent 'of . a nuisance, and it
often i is."- There , ai? i persons whoj not
content with shaking your hand on first
meeting you of a morning, will repeat
the process every - time they meet you
daring tbe day. 4. I . ; . ,
I Many, a good kiss has been nipped -in
the had by a.eix-yeax.old nuisance bring
ing a light into the room. " ' ' i;
Mr'Xtackle' Law of Averng-e.
The late ; Mr.' Buckle, in his . "Intro
duction to the History of Civilization in
Englaud," somewhat startled the world
by announcing a theory of averages,
which bo applied to all human actions,
and from which he argued we might fore-
east the future. It wa3 philosophy leach
ing by statistics." In such a space of
time there would be so many forgeries,
arsons, murders. Not only this bnt the
murders would repeat themselves in he
laanlleioTv their perpetration ; just' the
some number be" by poison', by the pistol,
by. the bludgeon, etc. If in any! three
months of 1$20, six sons had killed their
fathers, the like number of cases of "par
ricide, with a: certain increase for the
increase of population would occur in
the same three months of 1850. We
are under the operation of a law seeming
ly beyond our control or recognition.
This extraordinary theory has seem
ingly just received a striking cotifirma-'
tion in the Registrar-General's reports of
accidents in jthe streets of" London. For
many years past it has been observed
that for the first nineteen weeks of the
year just savuoty-four persons have been
killed by being run over iu the public
thoroughfares. It was 'therefore expec
ted, from the unfailing law of average,
that the sihio uumbcr would bo killed for
the first nineteen weeks in 18G0. On 'the
8th day 'of May,'' after the lapse of eigh
teen weeks, the number of fatal accidents
of this kind should have been seventy
but it fell four short of that number.
Obviously", then, the law cf arerage must
fail, or the accidents for the week ending
the 15th of May must be doubled. Cu
riously enough for the first seven days
from the 8th to the fifteenth, eight per
sons were actually killed instead of four,
and thus the seventy-four victims deman
ded by the merciless arithmetic were
fully made up.
This was certainly odd. The. deduc
tion from it would seem to be that when
accidents or crimes are in arrcar, the pub
lic should be notified, in order that, by in
creased caution or vigilance, the expected
disasters may be avoided. We iake
precautionary measures against unusual
peril, which we can confidently antici
pate; we give additional props to build
ings which "- are to undergo on
unaccustomed strain, and double a police
force when immense crowds of people are
to be- brought together. Should there
not also be redoubled care and watchful
ness against periods which the law of av
erage teaches us will be more than
ordinarily fatal ? ; .: ' -
Immoral. Practices. It has been
discovered that a special Postal Agent
on the Central Pacific : has lately, very
cunnigly, opened a very lucrative vege
table and fruit traffic, between this city
aud Promontory. How long the concern
has been running is not known, exactly,
but might be ascertained with little
trouble by parties interested on the out.
side. The business (which is akin to
smuggling) has been conducted by for
warding the produce in mail bags, mixed
judiciously with Regular J mail.; The
trado baviug increased so rapidly, it was
found necessary on Thursday morning to
forward twelve bags. This rapid accu
mulation of the mail excited suspicion,
ana upon investigation, js was ; discover
ed that: said bags were filled with cab
bages, potatoes' onions, : cherries etc.,
weighing in ; the aggregate, 1,500
pounds. The bags were unceremonious
ly segregated, from the mail proper, and
placed in the Express ear. s The charges
on the shipment on arrival at 'the point
of destination; as marked on the bags,
amounted to 690. This beats the opera
tion of the celebrated Jones Vegetable&
Dead Horse Company, all hollow. v Hero
was a very enterprising firm broken up
by the impertinent interference "of Cen
tral PacifiCv Railroad officials. : .. , ,
Covr Choked. Mr. John L., Clark
lost a valuable cow. a few days since," by
getting choked with a potato. JPx-, r ,
We suppose jClark was trying to swat
low his potato (w)holei causing the de
mise of the kine I ' t x
' Why isireight in! a rvesgeL like the
horses of a railroad company ? - Because
they make the cargo. ,'
The Bible aud . Suakspeaxe.,
Bible The Apostle says' : But tho 1
be rude in speech. 2 Corin.-11; G. ' ' "
Othello Rude I:aui in speech. : :
' Bible Show, his eyes and gtjevo his
heart. 1 Sain. 11, 23, , 1
Macbeth Show his eyes and grieve
his heart. ' ' ' V J '
Bible Thou hast brought me into the
dust of death. Psalms. l4; m t , -
Macbeth Lighted fools the way to
dusty death, " ' '
, Bible Look not upon me because -I
am black, because the sun has looked
upon me. Song SoL t 0. " : ;
- Merchant of Veniee Mislike me not
for my complexion, the shadowy livery
of the burning cud.' ,
Bible I smote him,' I caught bim by
his beard and slew him. 1 Sam. XVII,
37. . . '
; Othello I took him by tbo throat,
the circumcised dog. aud smote him.-,
Bible Opened Job his mouth and
cursed his day, let if not be joined unto
the days of the year let it not come in
the number of months. , - . .
Macbeth May this accursed day
stand, aye accursed in the calender.
Bible What is man that thou art
mindf ul of him ? Thou hast made him a
little lower than tho angels.. Thou
crownest him with glory and honor, didst
set him over the work of thy , hand.
Hamlet What a piece of work is
man! How noble in reason, how. infinite
in faculties; iu form and moving how
express and admirable ; in action how
like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god. The beauty of the world tho par
agon of animals.
Bible Nicanor lay dead in his harness.
Macbeth Wo will
on our back.
dio with harness
When professor Aytoun was - making
proposals for marriage to his first wife
a daughter of the celebrated Professor
Wilson the lady reminded him thai it
would be necessary to ask the approval of
her sire. - ! ' 1 ' " '
"Certainly," said Aytoun ; "but as I am
a little diffidcDt in speaking to , him on
this subject, you must just go and. tell
him my proposals yourself. " - : '
, The lady then proceeded to tho libary,
and taking her father affectionately by
the hand, mentioned that professor - Ay
toun had asked her to became his wife.
She added : 'IShall I accept -his offer,
papa? He stys he is to diffident to
name the subject to you himself."
"Then," said old Christopher. "I had
better write my reply and pin it to your
back. J - .-.... '
He .did so, and the lady returned fa
the drawing-room. There the anxious
suitor read the answer to his message,,
which was in these words, "With tbe au
thor's compliments." " : ' .'-j- ''
A Girl of ;tiie Age. A New York
paper thus describes a specimen of this
genius in that city: ' She went to the
theatre and two parties in one evening,'
carried on three flirtations at each, and
the' next day refused three offers of mar
riage, accepted two and broke off three
previous engagements, read four ; new
novels, wrote two lovo 1 letters and a
hundred ' notes ' of invitation, practiced
upon her music lesson, made herself a
new waterfall, ato breakfast, lunoh, and
dinner enough for two milkmen, took a
walk on Fifth avenue, bought two pounds
of French candy and ate itrode to the
skating rink with one of her nances and
walked home with the other. : 7 i
' Stephen Allen's Pocket Puce. .
- Keep good eemp&xiy or none. , Never ,
be idle. If your hands can't be usefully' "
employed, attend toT the' ' cultivation- of .
your mind. ' Always speak the' truth. ' '
Make few promises. Liv up to your f '
engagements. Keep your own secrets if '
you have any. '-""r, - '. '
When you speak to. a person look Lin -in
the fjee. ,- T t
Good company aad good conversation '.
are the sinews of virtue, , r
j,,.Gocd Js"ab(!. all ihings.elee-, '. You .
Ltracter-eannot beajsisentially. isjsrad .
except of your own acts.' - ' ' ' i,u.
If any one speaks ill of your, let your
life be so that none-will helive hia. ' r
1 Drink no kind of intoxicating liqoort.' .
Ever live (misforluae excepted) within ,
your income. ' :. t;
When you retire to bed think over what i ? .
yoa have been doing during the day., "...
i Make no haste to- be rich, if you would .";' '
prosper, email ana steady gams give
competency with a tranquil mind- ; ' - T
. Never play at any game of chanea. L;
Avoid temptation.: through fear you xaaj
not withstand, it. , : ,
' ' Earn xnency bgfore ; yon spend .it-t
Never run into debt without you. sec :-
way to get out again." " Never borrow if
you can possibly avoid it. ' " ' "K' ,
Do not put off until tomorrow that ''
which should be done to-day. 1 ' ' v
Do not marry until you are able to sup-1 1
port a -wife. . ' ' " ' '
Never speak ill of any one. r ' . ' ' '
Keep yourself innocent if you would be;
happy. . . r '';.' : -
, Save when you are .young, ton spend
when you are old. . -, f .-, -. , t - ,;J ,
' Read the above maxims at least once a
' In the pocket-book of Hon. Stephen
Allen, who was drowned from on board
tl.e Henry Clay, was found a printed slip,' -' -of
which the above is a copy. It is wor-' ' -thy
" a place in every newsraper, f and '
should be engraven on the heart oi every " 'A
young man.- ' , . -, ..-j
She tripped along with ribbons flying, : "
from a bran new hat tha'd just been buy. - '
ing. She hell her head up yery high,'-'1
and thought "Well aio't I just old pie ?"
An orange peel lay in the track, she trip- a
ped, and flat Upon her back lay Miss Ma
ria Simpkins. s . . J : ... . -r. ,
The authorities of Dresden and Vienna '
set free a larg number of singing birds,'
which had been brought to those places '
for sale. In Saxony, and Austria,- the 1
usefulness of birds as destroyers of insect '
is ofiSeially recognized. '-'
An English paper contains this advert
tisements - 'If Samuel Bibo-will eall 'or
write to Samuel Stern, " Paradise street; - '
Liverpool, he will hear of' something to-')
his advantage. Hi8 itffe ia no more. '-'';.
Two men have been fined in London
for cropping dogs' ears, on the ground
that it was cruel.--It was stated -on the
trial that the Queen - would never fcavej
the ears of one of her dogs cropped. - i
J Mr. Mullius, the Tennessee orator,
speaking of a man in Arkansas who met
a violent death, says i "He sank to death
in the soliloquy : of his own blood V w
shall view him no moro till1 the ' chaotic
torch of Gabriel wakes to living conscious
ness the universal dome, and we shall see
ourselves as others seo us in that bourno
whence no traveler returns.'' - ,1.
General Grant is credited with the epi
grammatic femaik that l:Of2ce seeking is
fast becoming one of the industries of
this countrv." -: -' -' - ; r c
t English coach builders are beginning
to announce that they are' prepared to
build light carriages on wheels imported
from America. They have discovered at
last that the Americans are half a century
ahead of them in the matter " of carriage,
,,' A curious robbery is reported in Hun
gary. Burglars broke into a glass manu
factory, of- .Dnboka, ; near Pazcga," . and
carried' off a chest containing ikr
The only object of the thieVes appears: to
nave neen 10 get puwenon ax. foe poion
ff Keene, N. II., has ' twenty-five voters 5 '
tho same State, out of two hundred and
fifteen voters, has twenty-five named Wig-
--"- ' 1 ' '.' -.v.-.: &s-m
Two hundred and sixty-three churchea.--.
in Spaia havt. performed expiatory cere- -
monies for the many blasphemies Tented
in the Cortes by the Deputies- ...
: r y.'' '' 1, ..." ' ";ij .
"' The Queen ot Madagascar has Wen te-.
ceived into, the Church " of England "bf " , 4
baptism, and ordered her ; ministry to do.'V '
likewise under penalties. - I ',,
A' Boston paper says that ,.a man re r?tl
cently applied ;to Gilmore for employ I
meat. ' Ho wauted to shovel rosin on tho iil
fiddle's during' tho jubilee. I ; . 0
''.'fii ;" '..'.m'j" . ; '.' 'i-'t'.:-'.: ;'.'- . .'...;. j
,' A Kansas city paper contains the fol- ; ,"r
lowing businesa .card : Notary Publio " "
lMiss Fannie Lyons, Majn Btreet." t
a "New York Hotel ia ' &
1'iWjh.en is aewsptper pieaharpeat :,
When it,wgled.;;JJsv-- -, j ;v tt. j; ;t..-
J TTfie EbgEsW journal' C:3e Z?ce fa to i3t'
'be sold afauction:'"5-' ;' - '::
jzt jr.' mi frWi lini'iiiHi'.'.'1 r-r'os
, 0 At' Vienna
erecting at a eostTTa.OOO.OOO!