A'
i '
VOL. 1.
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, MAY 15, 1869.
u Joining l&egtS to
ss ATUHD AY, MAY 15, 1869.
Conversational Clubs Are the
S latest 1'o.shiuu iu New York. They moot
once a week, and some one member, se
lected at a previous meeting, talks fifteen
minutes on the subject assigned him
when selected. Alter the chief talker of
the evening has concluded, any member
of the club may occupy five minutes,
cither iu questioning the chief, who is
- supposed to be fully posted on the topic
of the evening, or in giving his or her
own views. A dor.en or more persons
tuny in this way give utterance to their
ideas, in the course of the evening, and
a great variety of thoughts will thus be
brought out. We should think this was
a most delightful way of spending an
evening, and suggest that a Conversation
al Club be organized here. It will com
bine the benefits of a lecture and debat
ing Bociety, having the defects of neither.
A half dozen ladies, with an equal num
ber of gentlemen, is sufficient to start
such a society.
Printers. So many eminent men
have been practical printers that it seems
to be thought that type setting has some
very mysterious association with success
We shall never hear the last of Benjamin
Franklin and his early struggles as a
printer ; of Horace Greeley coming to
New York, a thin, haggard, friendless
boy, with a small bundle in his hand and
only tea dollars in his pocket ; of Bayard
Taylor leaving the case and making the
tour of Europe on less than five hundred
dollars ; of Thurlow Weed, toiling up
from a country type-setter to a great po
litical power in the nation. They accom
plished extraordinary things, not because
they were printers, but in spite of it.
Your genuine, born, temperamental
printer, rarely quits his calling ; or, if
be does, returns to it or its "cognate one
of journalism as water returns to its level
This peculiar mortal is our theme. He
defies classification, like the nondescriDt
animal that could not live in water and
died on land. He seldom achieves sue
cess, because he is indifferent to it, and
because he wants to show tho sham and
the folly of all exertion, all purposes, all
ambition.
Greatest Doa Fight on Record
Wifke't Spirit relates the following,
- which occurred at Logansville, Pennsyl
vania, the hero being old Jacob Karstet
ter, a man of wealth, who appears to
have gone into the extraordinary fight
tor iun : He was rather rude to a dog
owned by a sporting man, who told him
he had better take care or the dog would
bite him. The dog was a large bull, and
uncommonly ferocious. The gentleman
remarked, "he would bet five dollars he
could get dowa on all fours, fight and
whip the dog in dog fashion, and not
touch the dog with his hands." The bet
was taken at once. Down went Kar
stetter, who commenced a series of growls,
and made a forward motion toward the
dog. The dog, seconded and hissed on
by its owner, at once opened the fight,
neither intimidated by unearthly growls,
shouts, snarls and exclamations of his
antagonist; but seising him by the left
cheek, drew first blood in good style.
After a moment Karstetter got the upper
hold and changed his base. He actually
got the dog by the ear, and shook him
so severely that the dog cried out with
terror, and after be was sufficiently pun
ished, his tormentor let him go, and be
made off as fast as his legs would carry
him, bowling with pain.
Honest Industry. Here is a beau
tiful paragraph which, we find in one of
our exchanges : "If there is a man who
eaa eat his bread in peace with God and
man, it is that man who baa brought that
bread out of the earth, or won it by his
honest industry. It 1 is cankered by no
fraud ; it is wet by no ters ; it is stained
by no blood' 1
An Italian has published seven dances
as illustrative of the seven cardinal sins.
They are called : Pride Schottische,
Avarice Maxourka, Luxury Waltz, Anger
Gallop, Gluttony Quadrille, Envy Polka,
and Laiy March. ; - : J
The Alabama Claim. '
The following is the closing paragraph
in Sumner's recent great speech in the
United States Senate, in regard to the
conduct of the English Government
I towa d tho United States during the late
j rebellion, and the position of this Gov
! crnment on the Alubumn claims :
The truth must be told, not in anger,
but in sadness. England has done to
the United States an injury most difficult
to meusure. Considering when it was
done, and in what complicity, it is unac
countable: At a great epoch of history,
no less, momentous than that of the
French Revolution, or that of the Refor
mation, when civilization was fighting
her last battle with slavery, England
gave her name, her influence, her mute
rial resources, to the wicked cause, and
flung a sword into the scale of slavery.
Here was a porteutious mistake. Strange
that the lai.d of Wilberforce, after ex
pending millions for Emancipation ; after
proclaiming everywhere the truths of
Liberty, and ascending to glorious pri
macy in the sublime movements for the
universal abolition of Slavery, could do
this thing ! Like every departure from
the rule of justice and good neighbor
hood, her conduct was pernicious in pro
portion to the scale of operations, affect
ing individuals, corporations, communi
ties, and the nation itself. And yet,
down to this day, there is no acknowl
edgment of this wroDg not a single
word. Such a generous expression
would be the beginning of a just settle
ment, and the best assurance of that
harmony between two great and kindred
nations which "all must desire.
A New Remedy. Dr. Desmartris,
of Bordeaux, France, has introduced into
his practice an extraordinary medical
remedy for the cure of certain diseases,
which is attracting much attention. It
is no other than the employment of cer
tain stinging insects. His practice does
not claim to be entirely new, as it has
long been a tradition in medicine that
leprosy can be cured by the poison of
certain serpents ; and it is well known
that poisonous drugs are freely adminis
tered as powerful alteratives in certain
diseases. Dr. Humboldt, nephew of the
great naturalist, in his practice at Havana,
found that the poison of the scorpion was
a remedy for yellow fever. He inoculat
ed over 2,000 men of the military and
naval garrison ; more than 600 were af
terwards attacked with the fever, of
whom not more than sixteen died. Dr.
D. had been long afflicted with rheuma
tism, which was attended with great suf
fering. One day, while picking up a
handful of weeds in his garden, he was
stung by a wasp in the wrist. The arm
swelled, but the rheumatism disappeared.
Next day he applied a wasp to his leg
that was suffering, with like results;
and at length he has introduced this
remedy extensively into his practice. It
now seems probable that the time may
come when the most acceptable gift of an
afflicted friend will be a buzzing bee for
a diseased eye, or a well developed wasp
for rheumatism. Hymenoptera will rise
in market value, and even despised wasps
will fill a niche in the world's history.
A New Invention. An ingenious
English mechanic has perfected an in
vention for the detection of hidden de
fects in iron casting, wrought iron shafts,
and other heavy iron casting. The in
vention is one of the most powerful, and
at the same time useful of modern times.
A small magnetic steel bar is so supported
that, beside being able to turn in a hori
zontal plane, it can also turn in sectional
planes. It points northward and down
ward with an inclination of seventy de
grees, l ms needle traverses tne snait
or bar, denoting the flaws or bad places
by an irregularity in the top of the
needle. The invention has been tested
in every conceivable manner. In one
instance a heavy shaft of iron was drilled,
the hole was filled up with inferior iron,
then plugged op, and turned , off so
smoothly that the plug could not be de
tected. . Tho compass needle indicated
the spot at which the strength of the
shaft was not reliable. ,
PoFTOATioii.-rIt is calculated that
the population of tho United States is
1870 will be more than 42,000,000.
A Kiss on tUe Wind.
When the bright stars shine
And the rippling sea
Throws back their silv'ry light.
Thin the spurkling waves
Soltly tell to ujo
Tliuir lujssngo of tho night.
None but lovers know
What the whisp'rings ara,
Borno on the niurm'rini; deep ;
Nor the twiukliug light
Of the far on siut,
Th.U'a road while others slc-p !
Ah, thuy bear to me
Fund AtTct'tiou's siirh,
Ilt-art-broatbod by one afar.
And the sparkling liftht .
Of a laughing eye
Beams from the distant star I
O, bear swiftly, wind,
To my own sweetheart.
This kiss, far o'er the sea :
She will know 'tis mine
By the magic art
That love has taught of thee.
A CIncIuuatian's Experiences
cagu.
In Chi-
A correspondent of the Cincinnati
Timet relate his troubles during a late
visit to Chicago :
At Home. Februarv G. 18GD.
For the first time, straoge to say, we
tne subscriber visited the evangeli
cal city of Chicago last week, and "hung
UD Our hat" with our estemncil frinrl
John B. Drake, Esq., of the Tremont
11 ouse. n e were courteously received,
assigned a comfortable room, and, being
somewhat fatigued, retired at an early
hour Suuday evening to dream of sui
cides, divorces, and such little incidents
lor wnicii the city ot virtue is notorious.
a n. - i . , -
Alter considerable enort owma: to the
disturbed state ot our mind, we succeed
ed in finding "tired natures sweet
restorer, baluiv sleeo."
Arising at an early hour Monday
morning "tne early bird catches the
worm." and we were after it. wo rallied
forth for a morning walk, wending our
way toward the lake shore having heard
of the efficacy of the lake breeze and
had proceeded but a few steps when we
were accosted bv a well-dressed Individ.
ual who sported an elegant nose glass of
pure goia so we thought and carried
in hand a huge bundle of apparently
legal documents.
"Mornin', sir," exclaimed our legal
friend, extending his hand.
"Good morning, sir; happy to meet
you."
."Out early, sir, best time for business"
opening a memorandum book "sup
pose you have your points all arranged."
"Perhaps you are mistaken, sir. I am
not in need of legal assistance at present."
"No necessity for being reticent, my
friend. . I'm ready to serve you, and can
furnish your papers in a short time."
"What papers do you mean, sir? I
know nothing of papers."
"Come, no foolishness; you are cer
tainly the gentleman" (opening the mem
orandum) "gentleman from Ohio, stop
ping at the Tremont House, wants di
vorce "
"Divorce! the devil; I never thought
of such a thing. What do you mean,
sir?"
"Beg pardon, sir; no use getting ex
cited over so lisrht an affair. T
you its very singular gentleman from
vmtiuuau , uve ices seven, ngnc com
plected, dark hair, sandy whiskers,
and" '
Expecting to hear our name called
next, we endeavored to nass On. bur worn
detained by the stranger, who seized our
arm and exclaimed :
"Dang it, if you are not the man, you
look like you wanted, or at least ought,
to be divorced."
We are disposed to be peaceable, bav
ins been raised in a Ouakpr np.crtihnr-
hood, but must admit that this last re-
marie got our dander up, and before wo
could sain composure aimed a hnv
our tormentor's nose, which he wiselv
j-j j j i - .
uoageu ana permutea us to measure our
length upon the sidewalk. Piolri
self tip, as best we could, we hurried on.
man ki ui lor our escape.
We had proceeded but a few steps from
the scene of our adventure when we were
again accosted, this time by a gentleman
whom we took for a member nf tha tnn.
sorial profession. -
"Pass risht in thia war !r vnn'.l
find everything all right."
A glance at our wardrobe suggested
that a little attention was necessary in
uruer w regain our iormer respectable
appearance, and following. laA ;,
a gorgeously furnished parlor, where eat
half a dozen beautiful ladies, ranging in
summers from sweet sixtenn h;-..
five. We were immediately surrounded.
wnen one, a oewitccing, smiling, devilish
little creature, who seemed tn h
m V wvvu
chosen as interrogatress, addressed us
aneotionateiy :
"You have them nroncrlv marl nnt T
presume 7
" W hat uo yon mean, my dear Miss f
I do not understand yoa."
"Uidn t you get your papers V
"What papers ?" I have ordered no
papers.
"Just like all the Ohio people don't
want to acknowledge."
"1 must confoss, Miss, that this whole
affair is a mystery to me; and, really, I
would like an explanation."
"Well, well, that is funny, isn't it,
girls ?"
Really laughable," exclaimed all pres
ent, pressing no close around us that we
were perfectly hampered
"Yes, it is laughable, but the laugh is
all on your side," I exclaimed.
"Ain't you, or have you not been, a
married man ?"
"Most undoubtedly I am a married
map, and, beside, am tho father of numer
ous childrcu."
"Well, haven't you applied for and ob
tained a divorce ?"
Here I began to feel my temper rising
again1, but, being in the presence of ladies,
suppressed my indignation and replied :
"No ! and if I had, what has this ar
ray of good looking girls to do with the
matter?"
"Why, sir, as is usually the case, wo
supposed that you would be an immedi
ate candidate for matrimony, and have
presented ourselves that you might, if
agreeaOle. make a selection 'for better or
for worse' "
"This vas a stunner, and it was with
considerable difficulty that we were
enabled to convince our mysteriously
(they do things mysteriously in Chicago")
made acquaintances that our domestic
relations were all that could be desired,
and that our mission to their sensational
city was of an entirely different charac
ter, j ,
We were politely bowed out, leaving
an assurance that should we at any time
obtain a divorce we should call again,
and hurrying to our hotel partook of a
hasty breakfast, rushed out, transacted
our business, took the first train for home,
and bade Chicago idieu, impressed with
the idea that Chicago is the place to ob
tain a speedy divorce and a " bran
new" (?) wife. MIAMI.
Murderous Devotion to Science.
A young lady of Munich, named Erminia
Schlug, was recently detected in a sing
ular crime. For some weeks the families
inhabiting the hotel in which MissSchluz
lived had been subject to alarming, but
exceedingly varied, attacks of illness.
After a long police investigation it was
discovered that the young lady had a
lover, a student named Von Beck, who
was so enthusiastically devoted to physi
1SJ toxicology, and similar branches
of study, that he spared no one as a sub
ject for his experiments. Much of his
time was spent in devising or investigat
ing the most subtle poisons, and the most
difficult of detection, and his mistress
aided him in these studies by administer
ing his drugs to her fellow tenants. The
trial revealed the fact that Von Beck and
Erminia had spared themselves as little
as other people, their bodies being mark
ed with the scars of experiments which
had involved a terrible amount of lonsr
continued pains, while the young lady
boasted with triumph of the poisons and
antidotes which she had swallowed. The
pair escaped with a nominal punishment,
and received a decided eulogy in the col
umns of the Tagblatt for their heroic,
though mistaken, devotion to the cause
of science.
To Girls. My pretty dears, you are
no more fit for matrimony than a pullet
is to look after a family of fourteen
chickens. The truth is, my dear girls,
you want, generally speaking, more lib
erty and less fashionable restraint, more
kitchen and less parlor; more leg exer
cise and less sofa ; more puddings and
less piano ; more frankness and less mock
modesty ; more breakfast and less bustle.
I like the buxom, rosy-cheeked, full-
breasted, bouncing lass, who can darn
stockings, make her own frocks, mend
trousers, command a regiment of pots
and kettles, milk the cows, feed the pigs,
chop the wood, and shoot a wild duck as
well as the Duchess of Marlborough; and
with all her other accomplishments be a
lady in the drawing room.
During a concert iu the Boston Music
Hall, recently, when the organist was ex
hibiting the full powers of the instrument,
a lady was enthusiastically conversing
with her neighbor about her household
arrangements. She suited the tones of her
voice to those of the organ. The organ-j
ist made a sudden transition from "ff" to
"pianissimo;" consequently the audience
was somewhat amused at being informed
by her, in a shout, "We fried ours in
butter l"
The Cabaa Patriot.
A correspondent of the New York Sun
gives the following sketch of Cespedes,
the leader of the Cohan insurgents-:
Carlos Manuel Cespedes was bor about
forty-live years ago, to the town of Bya
ma, Cuba. The first twelve years of his
life were spent with his parents, wlnr re
sided on a plantation in tho vicinity.
With them he only luarncd the first rudi-
; ments of reading, writing and arithmetic,
j while at the samo time he indulged in
t those hardy employments and hwrlth-
giving games which are consequent to a
life in a country naturally mountainous
and full of forests. His family having
moved when he was twelve years of age
to the town of Bayamo, Carlos Manuel
was sent there to school for the first time.
A few days after the commencement of
his studies there, he gave proofs of an
extraordinary mental. activity and intel
lectual talents, leaving behind him the
most advanced of the scholars in the
school, and beiog recognized by them as
the head of the institution. When
eighteen years of age he went to Havana,
with the object of prosecuting his studies
there for the law profession. His great
intellectuality was further developed
there, at the same time that numerous
personal affairs gave him an opportunity
to show his active, courageous, and tena
cious disposition, giving an indication
then that he would be as "great in war
as in peace." Graduating as attorney-
at-law in Europe, where he went after
wards, and receiving the greatest univer
sity honors, be returned to Cuba and
fixed his residence at Manzanillo. His
powers of eloquence, energy, and his
knowledge soon made him the most pop
ular man in the vicinity, and entitled
him to rank as the first lawyer in that
part of the country. But of all traits in
his character, generosity marks an im
portant one, and will give a lustre to all
his future actions. The fortune which
he inherited from his father, the wealth
which he amassed by his industrious ex
ertions, and his future prospects of in
creasing it, would have secured him a
life full of comfort and ease ; but his pa
triotic heart could not support longer the
sight of his country in chains, and the
victims to the outrages of the tyrannical
Spanish Government. Inspired by a
heroic resolution, he gives freedom to all
his slaves, abandons his sugar estates to
the merciless fury of bis Spanish foes,
who burn them all in revenge, and sacri
ficing all on the altar of liberty and inde
pendence, with the noblest motives he
inaugurates the revolution in Cuba at
the head of one hundred patriots a
movement which now counts in its ranks
the whole native population of the island.
To the present he has shown in all his
acts the fullest energy and untiring con
stancy, and the greatest moderation in
the exercise of the discretionary power
conferred upon him by the unanimous
accord of all Cubans. When we see
men of this stamp, supported by all the
natives of Cuba, and that they, without
arms and ammunition of any considera
tion, and by their unaided efforts, not
only have been able to withstand the ad
vance of the Spanish foe, but have re
peatedly defeated them and at last ob
tained possession of almost all the land,
then it becomes impossible for us to doubt
the final triumph of liberty, and the pre
vailing of American institutions at the
gem of the Antiles.
Charles Hunt, in his way, is a success.
A few months since he eloped with some
one's wife from Boscobel, Wis. He
finally arrived at Dubuque, Iowa, where
he has been at work since, until the other
day he left town with two women, one of
whom was the eloping Badger, and the
other a Dubuquer. Should he continue
journeying westward, he will soon accom
modate a sufficiently large family to admit
of becoming a respectable deacon among,
the saints of Utah.
A girl who was making a dress put the
sleeves in wrong. She was unable to
change them, as she could not determine
whether she had got the right sleeve In
the wrong place, or the wrong sleeve in
the right place.
Four ladies are candidates for schtol
directors in Maiden, Mass.
NO. 36.
CotUt Breakfast f Cleovatra
After having partakon of Cleopatra's
necklace, Mark Antony determined to
devise the costliest breakfast ever given
After several days of g astronomical met
itation, wot having found what he was
looking for, he summoned his took tebis
presence, and told him that it he could
ge up a dainty breakfast for a lady,
which should be composed of a few and
an small dishes as possible, and at the
same time be most costly, he woukl re.
ward him aceordiffgfy. Server 1 weeks
afterwards the eooi entered Mark Anrto- ;
ys study, and told Urn that hv war
ready to serve the dainty breakfast asked
of him, and that it was composed ef oweT
olive only. At the appointed botny the
cook entered the dining-roow, followed
by one hundred men carrying the olive
(in its artificial envelope) on their should
ers. They deposited it oo a table made
for the occasion, and fifty earver were
set to work on it. After several hours
of hard work, the triumphant cook placed "
the olive before the Egyptian Queen,who
looked at him with amazement, still with
perfect delight. Tho olive had been pre
pared in the following ways After hav
ing been stoned, it was stuffed with a
rijh custard, then put inside of a boned
canary, which was used to stuff an orto
lan. The latter was placed iaside of a
boned oriole, which was used to stuff a
thrush, which thrush stuffed a boned
lark. A boned snipe was stuffed with a
lark and placed inside ef a robin, which
was osed to stuff a plover, and which
latter bird filled woodcock, the wood
cock a patridge, the latter a grouse, the
grouse a pheasant, the pheasant a chick
en, the chicken a guinea-fowl, which was
placed inside of a goose ; the goose filled
a turkey, the turkey a wao, the latter an
ostrich, which was used to stuff a sheep,
the sheep a calf, the calf an antelope, the
latter a pig, the pig a deer, tho deer a
bear, the bear a heifer, the latter an elk,
the elk an o, the oz a bippotaaras, the
latter an elephant. The olive was then
roasted in its envelope, which envelope
was thrown away, and the olive only was
served. Kara dish, wasn't it f
In London, recently, the Kev. C. J.
LeGyr, a Ritualistic rector, issued the
following singular announcement : - "The
incumbent begs to express the hone that
strangers who have breakfasted and done
the Standard or Timet, will abstain from
communing at the celebration of the festival."
VARIOUS ITEMS. -; -Unmarried
ladies with indeneadeaS re
sources should husband them.
The pleasantest husbandry is the den
stroying of weeds- widow's weeds. .
What fruit does a newlv-married
couple most resemble ? A green pear;
A " smile" tbat foretells sorrow TK
one that you take in the bar-room.
A gentleman of Carlsrnhe offers to tras
his American horse, the "Milwaukee-'
against any horse in Europe for 10,000
florins a side. --' '
A philosopher once thanked - a U9
who had been singing to a' party for an
nour, oy saying, "Madam, yon have
wasted our time charmingly," 5J s s ,,
Colorado has produced four cabbage
weighing 180 pounds; - twelve turnipe
that fill a barrel; fifty potatoes that also
make a barrel; and a squash five and a
half feet in circumference. , . ?
Cicero made the following wise re
mark : As I approve of the youth thai
has something of the old man in hin, 'a
I am no less pleased with an old man wfc
has something of the .youth,?; is ; ,iV;
"You have lost some of year fiends, t
see," said a traveler to a negro whoa he
had met on the road. . " i r
--Yes,ma";:
"Was it a hear or distant relatival"
"Well purry distant 'bout twtmty.four
miles," was the- reply.; v Kf
: A lawyer in a Tombs ease, while eves,
examining a burglar, asked him if he
followed an honest profession. ; v -r J - :
"I guess not,' said the burglar ;
pept the profession of you lawyers, I tiai
ours is about the meat dishonest a go-
u Tbs keeper of a eMsrr; fax Hartford.
sailed bin bar-tender because he
to loudly.
i
x5