The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, April 24, 1869, Image 1

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VOL. 1.
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, APRIL 24, 1869.
NO; 33.
SATURDAY, APRIL 24, 1SG9.
Our Salcin Corrcsponddut.
Salem, April 17, 1839.
Xbitok Rzoister :
Tho "item" business has been remark
ably dull for the past two days, owing to
the rainy weather.
SELLS,
where they are played right, are some
times very ridiculous. A few days ago,
it was reported that a stranger had enter
ed 'Bascoms ConfeJerate X Roads" sa
loon in this city, and that he had fell
down, apparently dead. The physicians
that were called succeeded in restoring
him to life again, but that the man was
badly paralyzed and had not spoke, ate
or drank anything for several days. Of
course such a thing would attract consid
erable attention, some' of the nhvsicians
and a good many citizens calling in to
.see the man. Tho callers were intro
duced to a wooden man which "Bascom"
used for a sign. Of course after being
"sold" they would keep mum and let
others have the benefit of it. It went
on in this way for several days, then a
scene ensued that it is better imagined
than described.
THE SPRING TERM
of the literary department of the Wil
lamette University commences next
19th Monday.
RETURNED.
Dr. L. S. Skiff, who has been travel
ing and away from Salem for some time,
'returned day before yesterday. Says he
aaw no place like Salem, in all iespects.
GOODS.
To judge from the largo stocks of
goods that our merchants are bringing
on, it would certainly give the impression
that times are not so very "hard." .
TRAVEL
seems to be starting up now. The seve
ral stage lines to and from, this city are
crowded with passengers.
GOOD TIME COMING
for the I. O. O. F., on the 26th. Prep
arations are now being made for the
grand anniversary ball, to be held at the
"Wigwam" in this city, at the same time.
R.
-J
To Smokers. Children of smoking
fathers often have their brains and ner
vous system entirely impregnated with
the poison of nicotine in the helpless age
of infancy. A couple came to a country
place entirely for the health of their only
boy, a feeble infant. The child was pale
mod sickly, constantly. The parents had
bat one room, in which they lived with
him, and which was every evening blue
with tobacco smoke. Every evening that
helpless creature took into his lungs as
much tobacco as if he had smoked a cig
arette. Still more than this the mother
who was nursing that infant did what
was equivalent to smoking one cigar
every evening, she breathed her hus
band's smoke. Now, if your baby smokes
cigars, you will find, by and by, when he
comes' to need brains, that this brain
power will not be found. He will be
starty, fitful, morbid, ; full of nervous
kinks and cranks, one of those wretched
human, beings who live a life like that
described by. Hawthorne in his story of
"Feathertop!.only capable of existence
and efficiency while he is smoking, but
linking into dimness and stupidity when
.he stops. ' ; ' '"
Mrsl Laura Cuppy, tho popular lectur
er on spiritualism, was divorced from
her husband Fletcher Cuppy, in. the Dis
trict Court of 1 Dorado county, on Tues
day of last week, ana oo inursaay ioi
lowing she was again married, this time
to W. W. Smith, formerly of Sacramento.
rm i.t; 1 .1.
j.nis, we ueiieve u uci nmu umvauu.
Growth or Missouri. Missouri has
grown in population .fVjjer cent, in four
years; in property, tiro hundred millions
-of dollars in eight years. " It has paid in
three years over $23,000,000 of its debt
and overdue interest. That is a' pretty
good State to emigrate to. Such are
ome of the results of the abolitioa of
slavery. .".'..-.'-
Louisville prosecutes '- saloon keepers
for permitting boys to play billiards.
A Beautiful Devil on Scates.
Beautiful devils about everywhere at
the theatre, the park, in the ball-room,
on Broadway, and in nearly every gath
ering where both sexes are represented.
At this season of the year they iufest the
different skating parks, where their dev
iltry and ingenuity have full and excel
lent p!ay.
The last incident that has transpired
was eoacted on Central Park pond, New
York, and made quite a littlo sensation
for a few moments. 5 The particulars arc
briefly these :
A nice young man, residing in tho
city of churches, visited the above popu
lar resort last Monday evening, for the
purpose of enjoying numerous turns on
the slippery element, and showing off the
exquisite proportions of his captivating
person.
Clara Denning was also there for like
purposes, so far as the admiring crowd
knew. Clara is superbly beautiful and
captivating. She was dressed in the
bight of fashion, with a dress so artistic
ally curtailed that it displayed a pair of
ankles so exquisitely rounded and taper
ing that the beholder became utterly
dazed as he contemplated them.
And what was more, all these charms
appeared to be alone upon the ice. There
seemed to be no one to whom she could
cling in the emergency of a loosened
skate, or an accidental bump ; in fact,
she was as gushing as a I'cri, with no
one to gush up to. Mr. Softy (for so we
will call him, since he has already paid
quite dear for his amorous whistle), saw
her as she glided along in the uncertain
manner usual to new beginners, and, like
hundreds of others, he was severely
smitten. The weather was exceedingly
cold, but Softy felt now like throwing off
his overcoat, since this divinity on "rock
ets" had awakened such a flame in his
bosom. Ho "fairly glowed.
' He is constitutionally a bashful man,
but seeing how the beautiful divinity
labored to bring out the poetry of her
motion, he glided bashfully to her side
and volunteered his assistance. She
smiled thankfully on him, and the result
was an instantaneous and fevered thump
ing of the principal blood-vessel under
his vest. But she accepted his proffered
escort, and together they swung dreamily
over the slippery clement, growing rap
idly more communicative and social, and
to all appearances more apparently in
love.
Before half an hour had passed they
seemed to be on the very best of terms,
and had partaken of refreshments, includ
ing wine, of which she drank fashion
ably. And then they very naturally
sought those portions of the ice where
the crowd was the rarest, and where an
envious throng could not note the very
frequent glances of passionate love which
passed between them, or make observa
tions on the location of his fond arm,
which every now and then stolo investi
gatingly around her shapely waist ; or,
if one did chance to note the amorous at
titude, they could but acknowledge that
both parties seemed perfectly satisfied
with the situation.
By-and-by her skate became loosened,
and and would he be so kind as to
tighten it ? Tighten it ! wouldn't he,
though ? Bat Clara was coy and rather
non-committal, savo on the point of love ;
on'that she acknowledged herself rather
spooney.
Again they swung gracefully over the
ice, and again his fond arm stole lovingly
around her, and all the world seemed to
swim before his intoxicated vision. His
timidity seemed to have taken leave of
him, and he, watching his opportunity,
actually stole one or two draughts of nec
tar from her ripe, ruby lips.
It was not long before another acci
dent befel her skate ; he had tightened
it too much ; it was bruising her sweet
littlo foot would he not relieve it ? To
hear" with him was only to obey, and
again he knelt before her and took that
pedestal of Venus in his willing lap, and
again he lingered fondly over the unloos
ing. By this time he had become bolder
in his love, and lingering now became
toying with the very points of excellence
he had so lately dared only to admire.
While in this attitude, a sum with
huge frame and monster deuil in his
savage look, pounced upon them with a
drawn revolver in the grasp of his huge
list.
"Dog!" he hissed, as ho presented
the weapon to the head of the kneeling
victim, who at first glauce was'frightened
into immovability.
"My husband !" exclaimed the beauti
ful devil.
"Husband !' gasped the kneeling gal
lant, attempting to regain his feet. ;
"Yes, an injured, outraged husband!"
again growled the man in a stentorian
undertone. "But I will have the vil
lain's blood !"
"Xo, no !" cried the apparently fright
ened girl, acting her part with perfection,
"spare him ; he is not guilty !"
"Base woman, have I not seen you all
the evening. But on second thought, I
will not risk my liberty by killing him,
but will have him arrested ; I " and he
glided quickly through the crowd.
"Oh, Heaven ! he has gone to get an
officer to have you arrested ! But stay ;
he has probably got parties here to arrest
you. Follow him and settle it the best
you can. I must go home to my pa
rents." Softy sought the injured husband,''
and after considerable talk about wound
ed honor and desecrated hearth on the
part of the husband, Softy appeased him
by the payment of three hundred dollars.
Immediately after Softy's eyc3 opened to
the fact thac he had been' seriously sold
by a beautiful devil on scutes. But it
was too late. The game had been soon
set up, the he and she accomplices had
won, and the curtain dropped on another
play of "Money."
Mrs. Grant's Shoemaker. Mrs.
Grant, by the verdict of all the ladies, is
the dainiest-footed lady in the city per
haps in the nation. I was passing a shoe
store in Georgetown Yerinilye's was
the place and seeing a prreat thronjr of
ladies, I entered to speak to an acquain
tance. "Is it opening day here V
"Oh! no. This is Mrs. Grant's shoe
maker." "And has she an extraordinary shoe ?"
"Here it is. Look at it!"
A tiny little shoe, the size one-and-a
half was placed in my hand.
"Good gracious !"
"Her little daughter's i3 quite as large.
She patronizes this place, and here, there
fore, the entire patronage of Washington
comes !"
"Driving a mile and a half to see if by
getting shoe's of Mrs. Grant's shoemaker
they cannot buy as presentable feet!
Oh! naughty world !" Washington cor
respondence Chicago Tribune.
Tho curious people called the Lapps,
in the north of Europe, drink a little cof
fee, and consider it a great luxury ; oc
casionally they get flat brod or barley
cakes. They drink a great deal of flitkel
a horrible spirit which is very strong,
and almost takes away the breath of
those who taste it for the first time. It
is distilled from corn or potatoes, and is
flavored with caraway seeds. They ap
pear, however, to thrivo well on their
peculiar diet, and are singularly free
from disease. They live to a good old
age, and the patriarchs of tne race are
noted for their extreme ugliness. In
choosing the parts of the reindeer, they
give the preference to tho saddle, which
has plenty of fat ; they sell the ether
portions of the animal to their Norwegian
neighbors. " ;
Strategy mt Boy. The President
nominated General Dent, brother-in-law
of General Grant, as Minister to . Chili
believing the Senate would confirm the
appointment, and his spite against Gen
eral Kilpatrick would be gratified. The
Senate, however, will refuse to confirm
and Gen, Kilpatrick will remain Minister
to Chile. 1
The Virginia Enterprise says another
Silverado has been discovered in Nevada.
The editor tells bow much bullion it has
produced the last year $12,000,000
and then adds : " Having described
the district, we cannot now do less than
give its name and location. Its name is
Virginia and Gold Hill, and its principal
deposit is the Comstock."
Xsonyeon is an inveterate smoker.
Prom the Pat Contributor.
orant gives some opinions on ce
lebrities NEVER BEFORE PUBLISH
ED. Washington Jan. 16.
I have just had an interview with Gen.
Grant, and obuiued some of his ideas of
public men, not given in the opinion pub
lisbcdV the N; Y'. World, which I here
with send you :i
; Ben Franklin is unquestionably a rapid
typesticker, and liis enterprise in collect
ing the latest news, renders him invalu
able to an almanac, but he is visionary.
His theory about lightning rods protect
ing houses aud barns during a thunder
storm, is one of the most absurd things I
ever heard of. j
Old Parr is a young man of Drilliant
talents and ambitions, but he ought to
take better care of himself. I fear he is
hastening to an early life.
Washington is an efficient General of
militia, and ono of our most civil en si
neers. Many have censured him for that
little affair with his father's cherry tree,
but it is time for us to bury the hatchet.
1 have never seen Webster yet, though I
have read his dictionary. It is not sur
prising to me that a man of so many
words couldn't bo President.
Georgo Francis Train is one of our
most noble women. His appeals in be
half of her sex arc both powerful and
convincing. No one can read her speeches
withoit being convinced he ought to
vote. I
Bnck Fomeroy is tho modern Alex
ander the Great, weeping because there
aro no more Worlds to conquer. What
profitcth it a man though he gain the
whole World and lose both his daily and
weekly circulation ?
- I have no idea of removing "Nasby"
from the Postoffice. He must be a sub
stantial addition to the revenue of the
Department, for his "letters"; pass thro'
every postoffice in tho United States.
Brigham Young is a multitudinous
husband and a numerous fatqor, who has
certainly done a gTeat deal for Utah.
How far he is going to be allowed to "do"
the U. S. remains to be seen. ,
"J. N." is not as crazy as he might be.
I am not sure that he would make a good
Secretary of the Treasury. He is in
favor of deeding all the land back to the
Indians, and let the Indians assume the
national debt. This would certainly be
an easy and rapid solution of our financial
difficulties. !
Pcabody is : a well meaning man, of
much principles upon which he has real
ized a great deal of interest. His princely
gift to tho London poor, I fear, is work
ing harm. Men who were in comfortable
circumstances before that donation was
made, reduced themselves to abject beg
gary for the purpose of getting a portion
of the legacy, thereby setting a very bad
example indeed. I
Fisk is a well meaning man --towards
Fisk. He has great versatility of talent,
and can run a big railroad, an opera
house and the Springfield Republican all
at once. He is not a temperance man
exactly, but he don't take his Bowls so
Vnuch as ho did. ., !
There is a great deal of useless talk
about Morrisscy having 'been in the
"ring." A member of Congress who is
not in some Sort'of a "ring" nowadays is
very rare, indeed; and there are few of
those "rings'? as respectable as tho . prize
ring. Big men have helped Morrissey
to fortune. His Club house is said to bo
the house that Yanderluilt. ',
Singular Results.
Garibaldi recently, said to a visitor: 'I
do not suffer much, but I feel I am grow
ing old;. I am a weather-beaten hull,
which has made many voyages; a plank
h at one time wanting, at another a nail
always something; but earnest will
supplies all deficiencies, and when my
country may need the last timber cf the
old. bark I shall willing'- make the saq
rifice." ." ,f
Tho - Boston State House contains a
statue of Washington, which a bold critic,
without the fear of Boston before his eyes,
says it ."Conveys to one' who looks upon
ii i or tne nrst time ine- aniKamewu iui
pression that it ceptesents a man getting
np in bit night shirt and attempting to
light the gas." "
The Dubuque (Iowa) Times has the
following iu relation to a simple accident
and its singular results which was related
to the editor by a reliable party :
A woman of this city wo purposely
withhbld her name who earned her liv
ing by coins: out to do tho washing of
'umiiios, sometime last summer in doing
the washing of a certain citizen she
chanced to break off a portion of a needle
which was in the garment in the wash,
In the palm of her hand, near the wrist.
She endeavored to extricate it at the time,
but failing, completed her day's work.
No very serious inconvenience being felt
on the following day from the piece of
needle and the wound, the patient turned
her attention to the abatement of the in
flammation. In a short time this was
abated, and the accident was for a time
forgotten. A month or more after, a
pricking sensation was felt in the region
of the upper forearm, and believing it
was created by this fraction of a needle,
a consultation was had with a physician.
confirmed it. An effort was mado by
him to reach and extract it, but without
avail. From time to time, since then,
the pricking sensation has been felt in
different portions of the arm, until it run
the entire length, even to the shoulder,
and now it has turned down and is mak
ing its way through her breast It is
pronounced beyond the reach ot an ordi
nary operation, and the woman, with or
without cause, is apprehensive of the
final result. This circumstance is one of
the most singular occurrences of the kind
we have ever heard of, and no doubt will
strike our readers a3 something peculiar
We have heard of needles working their
way through certain portietraof the tis
sues of the body, but we never read or
heard of a needle making such a race
course of human flesh as this one. ,
Madame Olympo Audouard, who spent
a few weeks in this country at the close
of the last year is lecturing in Paris on
the Mormons, the Bocky Mountains, the
Pacific Railroad, the Indians, and other
objects of interest which may be seen in
New York, where she passed her time.
A Missouri farmer who did not like
tho postmaster of the town where he
lived, visited Hannibal the other day to
petition the express agent there for the
removal of the obnoxious officer. He
could not be persuaded that the express
agent had not full jurisdiction in the
case.
It is proposed in Philadelphia to bring
tho remains of William Penn from Eng
land to Pennsylvania, and to erect a
splendid monument over them. They
were buried in a leaden coffin and their
transportation to America will net be
difficult. j
An American ex-Brigadier General is
giving drawing lessons in Heidelmirg;
and a poor French Count, tho descendant
of one of the oldest French Legitimist
families, is tho most fashionable dancing
master in the Bame city. -
The Columbus (Ga.) Swi genially
says: "We tako it that Edwards, the
idiotic and inebriated vagrant who repre
sents this 'district has enjoyed a lucid
interval. We are in receipt of a report
on finance, bearing bis frank."
The people of Buffalo arc disenssing
the question whether to build a bridge
over Buffalo River or dig a tunnel under
it following Chicago's example. A tun
nel would cost about 9360,000.
Among the solid men ot Pennsylvania
are Asa Packer, a prominent Democratic
politician, worth $20,000,000, and A.
Pardee of Hazeltown, whose property is
estimated at $25,000,000,
A young fellow with bat one leg, and
fully developed arm, hopped a mile in 10
minutes at Plymouth, Ind., the' other
day for a small parse. He makes his
living in that way.
A few . days since ' a clergyman who
resides in Decatur, III., exchanged satch
els with a fellow traveler by mistake
Upon opening . it,h. discovered $80,000
in green hacks in the bag. -1 : -.i : -
A sewing machine, driven by eleotrie-
lty, i on exhibition in Paris.
, . MEWS PARAGRAPHS
An eminent physician says that . the
Wall street stock jobbers produce mote
lunatics than any other class of people
in tho country. "
Milwaukeans annually drink $4,068,-
000 worth of intoxicating "drinks. ,It is
an awful distinction to be known as "the
thirstiest man in Milwaukee." ' ,
The literary editor of a southwestern
paper judges from the criticism bestowed
upon a forthcoming novel that it -will
be "very hifalutinand flopsided. '
A boy in Brentwood, England, re ¬
cently snapped a pistol at; the head: of a
woman, it was not loaded, b.S;ne
woman fell dead killed by imagination.
Madame Demorcst, . the celebrated
New. York modiste, learned the millinery
business at Lansingburgh, where she wa
only plain and pretty Miss Curtis.
A young fellow, fond of talkiogv re
marked, "I am no prophet." "True"
replied a lady present, "no profit to your
self nor to any one else."
A tombstone in Maine, erected to the
memory of a wife bears the inscription t
"Tears cannot restore her; therefore do I
weep." r
Some one called Richard Steele the
"vilest of mankind." Ho retorted with
proud humility. "It would be a glorious
world if I were." : ' ;
A Michigan has perfected a machine
to put on lath, which, in tho same time,
will do the work of three men. , j
Wigfall, of Texas, has been practicing;
predatory lawfare outside of the English)
Courts since the close of the war. ,. .,?
Mr. Emerson says that, in buying a.
small farm he secured an unlocked for
bargain in blue-birds and bob-o'-link.'
At Saratoga hotels no charge is made
if a waiter frowns on you. If he smile
you are expected to give him 25c. ;
The wife of Sir Roderick" Marchiaen
died in London at-the age. of .81. -She .
was a naturalist of some merit. . K
They have a "bootist" in Buffalo, who
is at work on a two-hundred dollar pair
of boots for General Grant. ,.:
"What Blessings children are I" as the
parish clerk said when he received the
fees for christening them. ' n 'pi
On thp 10th of April it will be 5&
years since the present Pope was ordained
a priest.-
There is an attempt in New -Yorki- to
revive the old proposition that j ladies
shall dress in black when attending
church. ".uhrvs
Kate" Fisher's flying steed, , which)
snorted so fiercely in Mazeppa, is now;
hack-horse in Pittsburgh. .... h- ; js-
Ammonia injected into the vein, j
pronounced- a certain antidote for, the
bite of poisonous snakes, : , ; t
One of the men employed on the Sandy
Hook light ship has not been on shore
for 10 years. -
A bill is before the Legislature of
Kentucky prohibiting the' marriage of
first cousins. . " ' f : !
"The Mysterious ' Widow' of Lonir
Branch," is the title of a new comedy 1 in,
New York. - ;J V-"'1'---'
Sir John Pox writes his opinion Wit
the Mercy can bo tunneled for cbout
100,000. Jvj i l:-. i'T J.v
The "School of , Design, the ' chief
one in which women study; Or snen
either.-- . ; : - : It ;.h;-.;m
Question: "What i !atthr! ;A.
swer : "Drinking over 'a New ? York
bar.' - :,',,-.: '. 1 s, jkw"
Five New Yorkers hare wagered
$160,150 they witt Telocipede to . Chi-
..- . . . : .... .,..(,:'-T! '
It is said that the tea. most in . fsior
cago.
among unmarried ladies, is Icau he.
A lawful feneo ; in North Carolina
must ho "horse high, bull strong and pig
An effort is again being made to-open
the B oston Public Library on Sunday.
Montreal has over two millions of dol
lars in United States sUveroia:f ' ,:'!f,
Gladstone's daughter is soon ' to : Ke
Mrs. Parker. ' U -!
The mud of Paris U soldjbr $120,000
a year,.-;. '.:.: -rJ vt'j.ni .-lT; '
Austria ' is fortifying lU, bel
frontier of Hungary. Tf .
A single artesian well inppMevall t
water used at Fond-du-Lac, , Wj- ).
" The election for members cf the.r
Corps Legislatif commences May 20th.