PAGE a
HIU9B0R0 ARGUS. NOV tO l-Mit
Kntuml Kt thi Pwl-offlc at Hillnhoro
Orrrin, m oxind-clja mill niltv.
I.. A. I.ONO, FMIlnr
t - :r -.
Cmmtv Official I'apcr
iiilivriptinn: $1.50 fr Annum.
laanrit Kvrry Ttmrada)
-BT-
I.OMU A McKIXMKY
Tho Arcus prizes tho Oivron
ian alxne many other country
newspapers, and considers it one
of tho bri.ehest papers in Oreron.
How it could possibly supiwrt
Mr. Bower-man, however, it can
r.it square with reason, and
knowing that Boworman was a
ccrioration attorney, it still pre
vaiied, and jH'rsisteii. and ex
postulated, and sputtered -all to
ro avail. If the Orenonian is
a pnvaehoti and asked to suptxirt
assembly politics in Oregon the
Aijrus will wairer that its con
tt mj wary will say "Never
airain."
Assemblyism is dead in Orejron
and there will be no more state
conventions in the state. But
let Mr. Dimick; and Mr. Hofer;
and Mr. Abraham, w ho w orked
so hard for the direct primary,
and who when the stress of the
fi.irht was on, deserted, keep out
from under four years from now,
for if they come hack and profess
allegiance to the dear people the
Republican party, what aid
it can jret from a handful of
democrats, will skin all the epi
dermis from either of the trio
who tries to run.
Grandpa's Money
By M. QUAD
Cutiyright, 1910. by American Press
Association.
Jacob rirowu, farmer, had cume to
be sixty-live years old when he gt his
ljouer. A trot her whom he had nut
f.tva for years died ud left him $30,
UX in i aili. For the live years preied
iaz tl:t i Id man bad ben a widower
End lii 4 1 al.iLie. He had four children,
two isis'-T i !id hilt a d.zeu more dis
tant ri-l.aiws living around him, but
no one had offered him a home. It
was seiili.m that any of them came
Eear him. He was referred to as "the
tid m.ui." and the few acres of his
stony oM f:irm were not coveted by
ccy one.
When it became known through a
lawyer that old Jacob had struck It
rich there was bustling. His oldest
mm. Henry, was the first to reach his
Louse. He brought bis wife and three
children ah. tig, and he galloped bin
horses for the last mile. It had been
two years Kinee they had been In the
old man's house. Now they nhouk
h;mds with him. The son patted him
on the l:uk and called him a fc'lorious
o'A father. He must Klve up his farm
nuil go Lome and live with them. For
the r. st of his days he could Bit In a
rkins hair and have custard pie
three times a day.
On the way to Ilenry'u home James
a: il his family were met as they came
1: ivina;. James was the second son.
lb? had often been heard to wonder
why tue old man man didn't turn up
hl tues and ,'t't out of the world, but
he wasn't a bad son that Is, he had
never thouybt of killing his father
with a club. James leawd from bid
Wiigon t i embrace his father and offer
him a home for the next hundred
years. He should have fried chicken
end milk toast every day, and the best
bed in the house should be his at
riH;lit. No one should rout hltn out In
tho moriilns, and fresh tea should
av.alt him when he deigned to arise.
Henry and James were squabbling
when Hannah and Mary, the two
daughters, drove up with their hus
bands. They had come for father.
T hey had heard that he was 111 and
were going to take hltn home and
nurse him more tenderly than a baby
with measles.
There was a row on the highway be
tween those devoted children that was
heard a mile away, but Henry gained
the victory and bore the father away.
That ni'ht his house was surrounded
by the two Histers and other relatives,
and they had to be menaced by a shot
gun. At the beginning of the row there
was only one lawyer In Gleudale, the
nearest village. Within a year there
were three. It required at least three
to keep track of the suits and motions
that came up.
One stipulation that old Jacob made
was that be should be privileged to see
his lawyer as often as he wanted to.
That was respected by all, but from
purely selfish motives. It came to be
believed that every time he saw his
lawyer he changed his will. It turned
out that this belief was well founded.
AVheu death came at last It was found
that he had made forty-two wills in
nil. They had bobbed from Henry to
James, from James to Betsey and from
iJetsey to Hannah and back to James.
They had taken In the two sisters and
uist them out. Tbey had enriched
Jiepliews and nieces and Impoverished
theiu again. Four times In one year
the father was kidnaped by relatives.
Om e he whs chloroformed In his bed
Kt midnight and lowered from a win
dow. Once he was kidnaped nnd bid
den away In un old barn for a week.
That neighborhood became the live
liest iu the btate. There was a Fourth
i.f July going on all the time. Even
u circus could not draw agniust It. No
old man ever lived who was coddled
and cured for m. rv V rumdi.M time
Oat. u. matter ti-t he tins with, be
w as uWcO if ant thing tnnr- ivnld 1 c
done fur him. In summer .i i!uM tt.'
a'uitil to f:in h m. :;;d m wi .! .
they tmtmht M-iis wuh i..'!.;r .
(jlasse set into the loji tint he mi .'.:
see himself as he t.tasioj la-! too. T!
Ooetor said that he ti ouM hute In id
thri-e tear lender If left to care for
himself in his farm
Vueerly enough, ho did not die in ti e
house of a relative, but was Mncken l'
tho otlioo of his la titer just after nu'i
In,: his forty sihkhO will. The saeg
came on the wines of lov as s.m as
the nous nont out Thot .ii:itMtil
as to it here the funeral should W held,
as to it here he should be 1 urvd. :is to
who should py for the ooiliu. as to
who should tveep the most
The will was not read at the house
of any relattte. They wouldn't hue
It sit. They assomMcd in tho ti 'ie
hall, and there wore stores if outsi.t
or. There wore ijiinnvN for front
seats. At last the reading tvean. and
It took two constable to protect the
lawyer from N'lug massacred on the
spot.
"As all my relative fnmi my oldest
sou down to my youngest nhvo have
been iHin.iM? kind to me." read the
paper, "I hereby will and Nspieath to
each and every one the sum of $K"
And the balance f that .i'J,taai iient
to the county of lb'po to i . ; n-i e its
highway. Then" were si or et eti
suits to (tv:ik the tvi'.l. but it oouliln't
bo done. Jacob Broun hrd re ad hu
man nature right and had made the
liost dlspntittkm Jiossilile of his for
tune. It may be said iu conclusion
that every a!ngl relative took I is dol
lar.
THE REGIMENTAL
LAUNDRY
By AMBROSE MLNDt Ml IJ.
Copyrtithl, t?h. ty Aiwih-.ni l-t -
A-st lat'nn
This storv has ma
merit tho in t-
deut really hapjienisl.
Wheu the Army of the t "iimb erhind
was lying at Murfnvsbor.i. Tcun..
waiting for the com to ripen, tii-iu-ral
G., a brigade coniuiander. e--t:iblihil
bl headquarter ou a ktioli. n his
right was the tent of his , i,i, f ,,f st.ut.
and on his left it as a t. ut ia which
dwelt hi aids-do- amp. 1'.. fore thce
three touts pael the smtry of the
headquarters guard. Siatten-d almt
tielotv the emho'ti.e Were the camp
of the different regiments composing
the brigade.
Before one of the tents
these regimental camping
of one of
grounds a
young soldier, HiHy ol.oit. was loan
ing his musket. He was the wag i f
his regiment and never let an i.pT
tunity pass to perpetrate a Joke mi any
of hi comrade. lie was e-pe. ia'ly
hard on the recruits that i a Iu from
time to time, sending them ou all
kinds of errands that a ic'i r.tn would
know to be ridiculous. He was well
liked, except for this pro-iisit y. w!;ii U
he carried too far. His vet.-rasi ao
Clates laughi-d heartily ut ids practical
Joke. Hut every greenhorn who came
to be a trained soldier It. bed for an op-
Hjftilulty"to lillio il il H;mi."ed re"
venge.
One day a !ody of patriots who had
just exchanged their ordinary lia!i:i
luents for uniforms arrived frmn the
north and were turned In mi the sin
soned men of I'illy'a regiment like
shovelfuls of soft earth thrown on
well trampled ground. One of those
unfortunates, seeing Hilly ( leaning his
musket and desiring Information,
walked-np to him and said:
"Say, can ymi tell me where I can
get any washing done around here?'
Billy looked up at him with a st:re
Now, it must be remembered that to
a soldier at the front In wartime n
washtub is as far away, as much of a
luxury, as a table d'hote menu. Sol
dlers' clothes In war are si lilom wash
ed, and when they are they are taken
to a creek, rubbed iwtween the knuc
kles In lieu of a washboard and the
dirt spots blurnd over the whole gar
ment. But even this laundering Is
practiced only till the soldier learns to
get ou with a flannel shirt that shows
little dirt and cuu be worn for months
without looking very disreputable,
Billy, as I was saying, looked up at
the greenhorn with a stare. The re
cruit surmised that the veteran was
thinking where he could send him to
get his linen laundered, and so he
was. Finally, having concentrated his
mind on Just where the regimental
laundry was located, Hilly said:
"Do you fee those three tents tip
there on that knoll V"
The recruit admitted that he did.
"Well, you go up there and wait till
that sentinel walks to one end of his
beat, and while his back Is turned you,
Just before he turns, go into the center
tent, and there's where the washlni: 1)
done. Mind, don't try to go In when
the sentry sees you, or he'll slop you.
There's a lot of rod tape up there."
The recruit thanked Hilly for his
courteous Information and started up
the hill, Billy watching him. Follow
ing directions implicitly, the greenhorn
waited till the sentry reached the end
Of his beat, then stepped quickly Into
the center tent. A man with a star
on his shoulder was sitting at a pi tie
table writing. At tho recruit's entry
he looked up, surprised that the In
truder had passed the sentry und en
tered unannounced.
"Is this the place where the washing
Is done?" asked the visitor.
The general stared at him In some
such fashion as Hilly had done.
"Did some one tell you to come here
to get your washing done?"
"Yes."
"Could you take me to the mun who
told you that?"
"I think I can."
The general picked up his hat nnd
strolled down the incline accompanied
by the recruit. Hilly was still cleaning
his gun und chuckling at his joke
When, looking up, he saw the recruit he
bad directed to headquarters coming
with the general. As they approached
Billy stood up straight as u ramrod and
saluted.
"That's the man," said the recruit to
the general.
"t'a'l the ooqvral of tho guard." said
t:a gem rsl to P.HIf.
Vorporai of the guard:" yelhsl Hilly.
The lorisual came. :lntol. and the
ge:i ral s d to Mm. "Corporal, take
a eoupie of the guard and eseort that
man,"' pointing to lUUy. 'down to the
i risk nnd hue him wash this man's
clothes. S.-o that tho laundering Is
well done!"
The general returned to hi tent,
tho corporal brought the two men. tho
rivruU produced ids soiled clot hex, and
a proi esvdni ef Jeering men e'orts.i
Jti'ily down to the ins-k, whore, under
the suiMTintemlenif of the corporal, he
did the nvrult' laundering
This eiubsl Hilly Olcott guying re
omits Ho smarted under tho ridicule
he had Incurred ami burned lo do
something to remote It, for he was
constantly J.shI by his comrades
aU'iil his laundry and akd to wash
their soi!s clothes. IWIhly this had
something to do with his future ca
r.vr At any rate, he distinguished
h-m-oif at t'hii katnatita and was made
a lieutenant Having started up hill,
he oontinuisl to climb till the ead,
when he came out a colonel.
Explained.
"She wouldn't listen to my suit
What do you supisiso is ihe reason?"
"Your tie is so loud she prulsibly
couldn't hear tour suit." Houston
Vest.
Soon Go.
Two neck sre iv.s moush. t know.
lloiM-ii-i tin tfiy
V mav te. th coin to Mow
W mv In ftfty
- tvtnot Fre ta
Sleeping Sickntit.
S'eoplng sicklies. has Uvn Inown Iu
West Africa for a hundred jours.
Th Crow.
Although the common -row Is one
of the Nlottest of it) lug bird. It w ith
ease can maintain a ci-d of thirty
uu.es an hour for many hours at a
time.
Ic and Wtr,
A ton of h e will cool about CSt.OoO
pounds of water one degree.
The Matiorio Zon.
The .Vilgut metiurs are ln-Heved to
irigiuate from n large cluster or tone
of meteoric IhmIIi-n, which revolves
around the sun In an elliptical orbit,
extending far lievond the orldt of the
remote planet Neptune, and through
tt hieh the earth plunge annually. The
earth is iiIhiuI ten days in passing
through the entire cluster, which,
from onr velocity Iu a puce. Indicates
that the thicktii'ss of the cluster la
aUmt t!,lo,iiMi in Ilea.
Three Metal.
A culile foot of aluminium weighs
less than leu pound, u cubic font of
east Iron -Ciii Mtmd.s und a cubic foot
of cupper .ViO po'.nd.
The Turkish Language.
Turi,i-h is the softest toned of mod
ern laligoages.
Darkening of Hair.
Hair darkens some JV per cent dur
ing the first tlve yearn of life and a
fuither Pst per cent up to the age of
forty-live. This darkening la more
marked In males than In females.
Iridescent Fishhook,
raiives of a iiuuiUt of south I'aelfic
Islands make fishhooks of motherjf
pearl, so bright that no bait or other
lure is necessary.
Government Land.
The laud owned by the t'nlted States
government exceed In urea the region
ea-t of the Alleghatile. enough to
mi;.e two slate like Texas, twelve
like New York and ti f ty like Massachu
setts. "I read in the paper la-1 night," said
(lie lata riling house lady, "that blue
li h on the New Kuglaiid const Insta
I-'O dais."
"Why don't you try one for break
fast some day?" asked (he thin lioard
i r Thai lo.,;s ns If It would be
i !ii-;t er than primes."- Youkers Suites
loan. IMs ISf.; 1.d client within th town.
With nil lis i,. il.vn iuhI hustle,
Win-in troll, v cars run up and down
Ami all Is hump and hiwtlf!.
I mi un to din farm he went for rent,
i'.ut i-oui.i n.it oe a lid.
All night he lay nnd cursei tho pent,
A lonHy katydid!
Puck.
"Mislnh Walkah, wot' the dlff'unce
't'.veen you un' me?"
"I hope there Is n great deal of dif
ference, Ceorge, but I'll let you tell It
What is the difference between me and
you?"
"lie iHrrunce, Mislnh Walknh. Is dat
I'm poiite 'miff to say 'you mi' me,' an
.Voll ;:in't."
"I.inlies nnd gentlemen, the silvery
vol ., tenor. Professor Jechnugh, will
now slug the popular ballad entitled,
'Please He Careful, Dearest, Where
You Slh k Your Wnd of (;um."'-Chl-cago
Tribune.
The old Kong Bang tho woakm-M
( a very shammy chap.
They thought ho was a yaohtsman
'Causa he wore a yachting cap.
And there's the girl whose dimple
You can nntloc from afar
In an autnnwhlle honriet,
Though (the hasn't any car.
And soon some Idle fellow
Will n lot of notice (rain
In nn neioplanlng ulster,
Though ho never law a plane.
-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"I)Id you get rid of the flies?"
"I don't know," said Mrs. Corntossel.
"After we had burned carbolic acid on
n hot shovel mid made a smudge of
some kind of powder and scattered oil
of sassafras around I don't believe
any flies could stay In the pbiee. I
know um folks couldn't." Washington
ritnr.
And don't you remember hi umpi, Hen
Holt,
Whose voice was no cruel and grim,
And his awful look when ho reached for
the hook
And called that third strike on Tim?
Grass grows on the umpire' grave, Ben
Holt.
Where the Mudville crowds surgo by,
And of all the hoy who saw Casey fanned
There are only you and I.
Denver Republican.
IK YOU WANT
DRY FINISH LUMBER
RUSTIC, or SHlTLAr, ch.ur n
iu stink at all tiuu-s iu our l.tu t
.vllCll. Also ntlk l lull's I'l I'Ullil
inn ui.itcii.il.
FRENTZEL & McFARLANF. NUOS.
M.iin St. ami 1. K. N. Tt.uks. IUh lln.m s.
Bargains
SO VISIT OFTEN T1IK
5c-10c-15c STORi:
Main StrtH-t, IlilUhotn.
New Goods, - Novelties
and Bargains
EVERY WEEK
Just rccfivt'il from BOSTON a
large shipmrnt of l) t oi'ntt tl
Imported China suitable for
Gifts.
No article in the store over 15c
Do a Little ThinKing
This oeason I
Call Around und Study the new T..yl,r
line of Men's mude-to-mensure Clothes
Compare Prices- feel the qunlity of th-ull-wool
fabrics and jftvi- some thought
to the new and nobby styles. Do it now.
We do the right thing to all Call in.
AUG. TEWS, Tailor, Hillsl )oro. Ore
Upstairs, Schulii;i. iiih lliiik
k,
Notice to Creditors
Nolle W hereby )fn thnt wi-, ihn inuh r
Hignml, lime Iwrn, hjr thn rouiil v uurl of
In- Htate i.f UrnKon, fur VV hiiiiii ,,,
foiinty, it,Hiiiiliii i-xfi'iitn mid tuin iitnr
riH:tii.y. of tht IrmI will n.-l.w!a
iiimil of I, .ins A. Kood, di il ,in,
Imm '(iiai uii-il nn mii-h. All .rsuiin h;n
ililfclulln HilJlUHt mild dntiltf, ni n l, ri.hy
IIOlllilMl til lll-M t Um hiiiiii. tn tm, will,
nroiwr voiiidmrt. lit llm I.hw ii!ii-.- .1 W.
N. Ihirrntl. in llilinlmro, Urnir iii. thin
nil month from Itu? ilnii nf Huh ii .lien.
IiUmI tlim SovniuiM.r 10, I'dn
Kviiliiif Hood 11111I Kri.dKii.il.
Ki iit-iit Mil Kf iHMiinr, r'n;i-v:(iv,r . , nf
tii" hint will mill u.liiini!iit of UuiA
UihhI, lleiiihed.
W N. lUrrrtt, tt.iriii. fur u t 'Hiito.
POKTLAND MARKKT
Valley wheat, jx-r fin pc
OhIh, No. 1 white jh
Timothy hay " " .'.j,i.
Onion, new, jn-r uncle j. , . , , ,
I'otatot-s, railc $t.i;f 1 v
Country butter, jx-r Ih H'ii
Ontflide Crenineiy, jr lb. y,
"Ktf't I' dozi.u ,. . , , 0,',a
Hen, r Ih , 1-
ArM anil Journal, $2.2r.
Murlfl-Atid llii-n he klum-d yon, I
bii)ioh(!, JuHt at tlic imyclioloi;h'nl 1110
niotil? (iliidyn1 don't know wlii-tlnT you'd
emtrtly trm It the imyrholoKlml 1110-tni-iit.
A ik wifinnn wlio ciiIIimI Iiit
fii'lf IiIh wife cnti-nil tin room Jnnt
tlii'ii. V'oiiiik'b MuKtiicliie.
fie hlark crow wig il nrw rnw,
An' what you think ho do? I
Hit tr.ll him: "!; 1 wins a man
I'd he mo' man than you I
"Hut hfirft' whut I will tell you
In 1 on mm an' In law: I
Yon ain't do only mini 1 know 1
What' iiiuilu o' r.Urm 1111' utrnw." '
Atlanta Coiimilutliin.
Bobby Honi-Ht, U tliero twlim nt
your Iiohmii?
Tointny-Honimt! An' they're! Just
alike.
Hobby-Ilnllt Jint the niiiihi tvny or j
nrp they rlKht nml li-flH? 'Joledo 1
lllade. 1
Am tifV nrirl.ll. 1,1 1, . .r, rw i .. . I.
Brie Bald fulnily: "Why. Aluernon, hmk!
In that oak, I iliHihtrn
I eo mlHtletou there!"
a a
And the crew flahed them out with n hook.
C'huiiorul.
"I wonder who orlKltinted tho cx
proKHlon 'rof'koncd without his IiohI.' "
"I'robiihly It wnit nonic deluded Hum
mer hotel Kiji.Ht who tried fo IlL'uro out
for hlniHelf whnt IiIn hill wiih fjolin; j
to bo."-(;iithollc Ktnndurd nml 1'lmeH.
I've never eri 11 flylnf flah,
Ariel y,,t they no Uouht fly, t
Hut I can ahow you, If you wlHh, 5
The way to inaka a trout fly.
New York American. '
Don i Keei
&?? I'P limit
ij.N.- V V" IXr'.l riiuii , .
V X l' X l"r
. . ".'v' '- ml I
S4SllArii)DOOnS
You "t the Lent value nml I li;h
t iullty at iirh-ea 111..- thru., I,
orflerlinr from our mtul.,jru..
Itaalu mtylt buxnlun iliiura, l.flu.
I ronl il.i.ira, I", mi.
I ullacr frt.nl nlndnna, ri mu4 up.
K. II. leal, If d.ii.r frnii ra, tar.
K. I. plnln wlniluiv frn,r., no.
2-Hubl nlndiina, ehrek rail, 7-
Wb havn our own factory nml uv,
vou Ihn 111 I.l t t imiii'ft .ri,nia. r,i, k
carefully nnd hli any when,. i-:.-r,.
u ynur llm ut maleiial.
AK OH t VI II. 01. 1 15
o. n. will. Arm co.
Illl.l lir.l Ae. tinlllf. f
For the Anib?l!;.ns
21 dniberi'tp )
VLrUUUlllUll
by mll fnr tliiiaa who cannnt atlemt In
pnraiill. All Irintril' Hi, 11, llu ltiilti, Ihial
aialiiliiatliiiia, la JfilKK. Kiir tun,-ttnr
Itijilnnt prniiuring (ur i iilli jrti r nrilvi-ri
ty, wiimnii a rluha. urnni-a, i-iiK'ni-nrH 111, ,1
luiliia llmk.TH Nn (in lliiilnm v r-inniliiiv
tlou la r.,ilil, Tlii, mail crniiw uinain
I
tiiiirtiiiilty fiic ymi.
rxiui iur tlavirlpUr linlli.tln iu tli
Crrrnoiiipni- Hliiil. Ireimrlinmil
til j
llnlTeralty of Ore aim
r-agram . . . rr(ea
Compare Our Prices
with i ... i.
111 rim limn l,ntn In Ihn ),al,t of .ii.lnn.
ftnd you w
tnanii all ,,rk art, I ,.m aiin.il .,t l,i-lli,r i" iilrwi
r. ii.. iiiiMii-r 111,1. hiiii ii Jim
,v 7 ""I' ll ,li,ln,l
1W .-. ; i"' 1 '" l.iillniia In
i J,'.'"" " 'liflrml.
r ' f ; hi'hi. iiirn.iinn
I"'1 Conaultalinn Irrn.
jjHiilirCrmnn $5.00
J"kBflil,.T..il,4.00
I JCIdfillln,, 1.00
Itninwl f,lliBi 1.00
''iftiivaf riiiinm ,50
fr jdood Rubber
Plalm R nn
D.w. Will, PnininueMuiiH Pulnlmi fxIr'Unn 60
II limilMIl n MI1IIH BKT MMTMOD
All ,,rk full, K.,rn,il,..., tr nri. t,,, ,1)Ur,,
Wiser Dcfiital Co.,mc.
PalnSess Dentists
F in. Biiildlnx, Third and W.iihlnston PORTt-NI), 0RC.
Olll.ulliiur. HkU.Ul)l, duiiila,., to t
1 lyT .
:,'jv; '.!''.
I .t II,. I'm hi hi i I in : f,i ut lir.
, ., , ( 1 I ! I- I , I
I'- ' ' '! I
v. ", I'L I
j . , I . , ,-, ,, . I I. t ll.l
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ELECTRIC LIGHT
Hull
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Hollo
Pipe
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Wire
Gasolino -Systems
At: ! Si ;f !hs for
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King Light Co,
.Mill !..( . I'ii'SiCil! thcils
II'... 1';.. ::c sr.
An I'tifitilitiK SN-ri!ic For
I'ATAAMI, HAY.f'lVtl,
ASTHMA, f. AMY CO '
MIMHION. DtATNtM
COl.DS nd all ,lil
HI.AI). IMVO.Vr. LL'NCS
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Nuliirc ( lire SHpptie
Now Management
IIOMli STYLE
KKSTAURANT
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hy tin' wi'fk.
M.,i SI. c,,s of M I
ICHU CIIAIK
Barber Parlors
Courteous Treatment
Capable w rtcmcn
Haths in cnm-ction,
1'ine iSH.iwcr HaM .
Newly 1'uniislicd bliop.
trial vill please yot .
JAMES ANDERSON'
.,, m.ltr. IIiHsban
a ilium r '
llll I.SK0R0 MUSIC
IVrry Hurt"" Aru"
Neilie V. Wilcox
Thorough ami Hystomat'C trai"
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