"
AGt S
MILLS BORO AHGU3 NOVEMBER II, 1909
if f
jtl yVXihlngii t cat . . . Tho chJ- )A
st XyAviX way to bull K,Hd thin.? 11 1 1
al rl xArXn tk wnrccwfuily- U by uniiik I I
. I Afirrrair bTY AYT11 III
It in an aid to ratlur V" ' C !
.t. ... f vour ability." ( n. 1
- ; uuiuwi tlUAiM'fi
? II Infinite care U tmj.loyrd ; to the k mCi)
Bl SPECIAL ACT.
Ci issy's Appeal and tho Explana
tion That Came Afterward.
nil I
HI
MUM
at vniTTl GROCER'S
THE SECOND ANNUAL
National Apple Show
Will be Held
Spok no,Wasliington, Nov. 15-20
This Apple how is a world wide event of the
greatest imjwtance to the Pacific Northwest and
iu on'cr to vocourage everyone to attend, the
Southern Pacific Company will make a serial
round trip rate of
ONE AND ONE THIRD FARE
From all Point on Its Lines In Orejjon
Tickets will be ou sale at all stations, main line
ind branches, Nov. 14 and 15. Final return limit
November 22,-
$25,000 IN PRIZES
Will be Given Away
Qrand Display, Instruct ivo lectures,
Interesting Program Every Day During
The Show.
For further information call on any Southern
Pacific acut or on
Wm. McMurrav,
General Passenger Agent,
Portland, Oregon.
"1
By BELLE JaNIATE8.
tf'i'i"'lil, n, ,i Ab.. iirl Literary
I'm.
Well, rrl)'. lit can I ! for
)"U? naked Hi.- ludirn of but fitlf
nug diiuglit.r u alie atoo.1 In tlio
il.r ny i.f hla oiili-r ullli c.
"nu know," mi 1 t'rUay gravely, "I
tli'd mi Bi'iIU iillim with ymi wvi-rul
" t K" f'-r un tin ri-uMi tu my dla
liitriii iii. iit fund 1 nllnl ( are what
y.it limo done Willi mjr claim."
Tim Judifi' cjea twiiiklnl. He. look-
itl at lila watch.
' I ui wi 'rry, but 1 have a pre
If K i iiK'ifc'Mmiil. I'll turn your e
nter In t'liail.a," kIuiii ing lit all ad
Joining rt, k.
ll,u lirowu, tnntily f.n ? flunlii il boy
Mil) nn In' mi t I hi' tin m tug () !).
"1 refua 1 1, I turned oter." mill
( rty flippantly "J applied tu you.
Binl 1 ulinil BnU your pleasure at
our ilk until you riurii.H
Vi-iy well." r.iill.tl the Judge. "1
en Joil lu poamMl'ili.
Wlii-u In' limj left tin) room tli I wo
ri'iimluliu luinnti' cr (.miiiwIdu f
Hit' nlH-ui i. Tin- ulrl rniil urrfittU'Xi
I'lu Kluii'i'd tunl thu young tlor-
iicy. Imt ! Wi-i't rt.iu'SMlly t wrk.
IV llrl Any tlmt I'tinrli'ii DuniBiit
li.nl iitin-J tlw luw (km s Jutilur
liiirtiirr In- liml wuiidi-iful vUlon
a tiTy lurrly ht HU "' !
t'U llll IllUB -U'lVITlllg IK'Br UIB
Jmlf Uink. Il w rmiw liiun, with
riuli t blot Ik IiIn fun-, thut bU
,iiirl wan iw li'tiKiT bin own. Crumy
il iik tmj tnUt'b vt a ro.ili'tli tint t IM
(He -(t t klir ruJiicitl, ami then-lifter
! (irgi-cMlnt to umke lift? nilw-rubte
f.-r lilm.
oup J.')' he wn Krtirluu uJ i-linrm-liijj
to bliu; tbp tifiit ! wunely
Jrljcuwl bltti iflniKe. lis to"t the
iri-utmrtit bffott-lljf fr lill; ttn-n
he r.-tlll, yub'tly Hd manfully ha
tulit Im of hut love aud d.'iiinndi-d brr
liniul and hrarl.
Iiut C'ruwy't young lort wa not
yet ti(i for love, ami alie nld blm nny
UH-rrlly, Tto-n In' miirl li'r of Ix luK
a flirt. Hliw reofiitwl thn
aillri'uH' Mr. r.iirtH-jr:
-l i ll in', nil nlxoit )tir ,
will writ- at inn '
Tbu fid Hum ih'llirhlMlly pluiiKol lo
an lnfatinUKllbli mioniit f liiiltlf.
inri'li-. b"ill.ii. t!r!"ii ''
forth. Mfiiiiwlillu t'riAny'a i-n
wmt'-hliiK wllilly ovi-r t In nM'r.
If thin will U-r' if Bkw1.
My Iwnr iliiiii' Vnu omf Kil't that
tlmr imlliiiiK In thx worl'l Ihnt you
oull rvfuM 10 do for inn, 1 nt wi
thliia wry rriu'h now. uri'i 1 know that
you will ilo II for nm Iwnuw I k yoo
to. T)ir la an int aoMIrr In our t-My
for whom fathrr'a firm ha t'n trying
to t tx-rialun. aii't ftr nil Itn-lr rfi
Infm tU-y nava f.illwl through oni Iwh-nli-a.UI
y. J 1 Im nm la lrarlu. K. ISurni-y,
ami Im arvi-(l In oiniiiiny A. Tweiuy-
liflh llllnoia. a (irlvatM. coiiioral anl ar-
..hi,i II.) rvi a full irrn r-
anllalMl wai iiuiino1 at f air n nl
wmm aftxrvaril ta-ri nrlaonar. Will you-
Eot hla noruilon through by lal -tt
....... ... ... j
BDU liirroWNl B lMir ! y.il" mil"-"'
from l;roih r will.
Vi-a; tho front nii'l tlio inrii!:ig
,ri':w liM'l 'oi'f ttn lr work. l.uilu-1
of !n-tiinH n-i'H t'il tin- nii n hi
niorwrn fnlllns. ami tin' liaik.-t Mi
fiolly IiimI IiroiiRlit lo'I'l only cl.out
cinuiUott.
n
I temmnbnr that you (1I1 thla for a aol-
,W ln ailmliilatratlon. I'o you rm-m-
. i-r tolllrui rn about It one wlntnr'a nlrttit?
. at It aa quickly aa you can and I will
, ..ii. i- vnrvililiuf toil aaxl to mf. Aa
ver, your devoted CK1BHK.
"Ttrnt wjll fell l It." aald Ihu old matt
lelri'fully.
"Now I will addrcaa It. 'Hon. Gm.rcw
1. Oufu-lichlmau. M. C, WaHhlnsloti,
I). CV Now w will b loK' thi-r and
wall It."
Later, when the Jude ratni! Im k.
Inimont ak d Wm If he could I I'Ut
tin. criilifv iiiKo and miiku the
wmtern trln.
"Itnliri'd. you may, Uuiuont." replh-d
the lude. "We will all I too t;!itd to
ahlft the raiM) off our limn! to yon
CrlHy looked creat fallen and dlsnp-
ixdiited when her falhif told ln-r th
ueltt tlay that Iuuioiit had c""-' weat
and would Ik- gone for inoiitu.
"He tnluht at leaat have aald (footl
bv." aUc Ibotiuht.
Her buoyaiH V tnlalied day by day
and Hlie trew la-nalve and iinthellc.
"I'll never trllle agiiln," he thminht
Ktdly.
In a month's time riumout returned
and nnx,',,'l I'1 "uweaa In tlie tirUUi'y
caar.
"How la Mum Marahr' he antied
Ktlilly after they hd diUHHe.l the
cnae.
"frtaay hnan't lM--n very well lately,
but ahii i-Hiltlvely happy tinlay. near
I aa liamir aa old Harney. He's got
lila jx iiKkm, $12 it inonlh. and a gmHl
lilt of back H'ualot. It canw tbroucb
rH lal act. It aeema Crlwy wrote to
a friend of uera who la a congress
man." "Vw; I know the did." he replhtl,
with a hitler recollection of the day It
waa written.
ticorgo QonckpnbuaU tnnrrlel I'rla-
.. . l l..f....u1
ay i moat iiiiiiuutc irieuu, .oiviu..-
the Judj,-e.
shawl. uiy one bad atruck Mtoa txA
ly n a f.lie rained h'r faee. and that was
in tho renter of the chin, it had not
liictrnt.d deeply. Aa a matter of
f t. t, nhe dug It out with her finger
mill' on the way home. Tba doctor
arrived l.i bU gig with hla horae on
t na tr 1 fin A I II mi lit? Wa i.s -
U, onKry. but when the atory waa iota
and when a little plan wraa nnfolded
he laiii-ln-ri and offered hla aervk-ee.
Two boura later, wheu VUI uauey.
, ,.f tjiwrer Bailey of the city.
vm, Vott iiavk
I yi.C ttVK TlllEB 0
Klt.li
two Uarta. Khe waa a kH who doted
ou eheKlit and hadn't had any for
three yeiira. o it waa -ay to tell what
.i... uonlil do on finding the ground
coveted with them. She aat down and
IH-L'nti to ahtnk and eat. 8he turned
i.-.i ...,l1 thrt
her laiek to ine wuiu. nuiuiiiiiv
, ,;ray xhawl cloaer and Ufun to
eat and eat nud ent. She bunted for
the verv biggi-at and fatleat and didn't
niii.d the .uirrel t biitlerlug and acold
Ing on the llmba alve.
Hlie knew he waa there to get bin
nlmre. and she had a hall lorimu
tint when ahe got through eatlnj? ahe
.. .. ....i iiivn him a
IVi.UKI lliniw inn- no n -
aenro Had !e familiar with
Kouirrel lore he would have under
stood him during the Brat five min
utes to be faying:
Well, ntmit my soul this la cheeky
of Toul Haven't you liecn to break
fast? Have you got to lay In a atoro
or Ktnrve through the winter? Go to,
girl, nnd give u squirrel a show!"
rrettv Ron she notked that nw
.. . ... UA ... roroHit thaA
ealleij at uw wnnuw r- - -
he waa a aorry and to aay mai ue
waa visiting the 8cott ana aoiug
little ahootlng be found a young lady
on the aofa with her head, cbln and
ueik done up and a atrong atneu t
.t in ttw rixiin. lie was ioiu vj
Mia Iolly that tne ooctor uu
th:,t al... would probably ull through
if ..iv..t, the Ixttt of rare, and lie went
....- . h vonnir man. He aent
to the city for flower and fmita and
i.l. It., nreaented Brother 8an
with tlie ahotgnu, and be told the fa
ther that he would be cnJy too happy
t.. nit nil ex tieDaefl.
if .MniP the natlent began to get
tetter. At about tbe third call of tba
.......t.i K.. tnnrilerer sue nau unit""--
with moat of the bandages. At about
thu fifth there was only a piece or
Kit..r entering the wound.
three weeks he called one afternoon
to find tbe j.laater gone, and after
. ..1. . Mi'
-Why. Miss IoiIy, yon-T r u..
prettleat dimpled chlo la all America!
tleally. now. but"-
o- it waa a tnonin n -.roixiwd.
And he took ber down to
the oW chehtuut tree where tbe wjulr
rel chattered: " ;
"I thonght no: 1 thought so! First
you shoot a girl and then you tell ber
bow much you love ber and ask ber to
be your wife! Go ou, both of your
Hard For Mothae.
"I imppoae you often find It
trying to hare sis marriageable
tera on your bands."
"Oh. 1 doo t mind It ao much myaeK.
but my wif. baa a pretty bard tlaj
It, aeeing that ahe can i poio'
.. than one keihole at a Uoo'
Chicago Ilecord-Herald.
Unbecoming Condnet.
"I want Bllgglna dlsmiaaed from tn
Optimists' club," saw tna uku- .
J,ou,h- ....
"whafa tne trouuie i
Tie InsUta on referring to the moaey
Arrowed from blm Instead f talk
ing about something pleasant -Wash
ington Star.
Musical Not.
rjuu" . . . .hi'ter had chanced, nut am-
He . married!" exclaimed Iun.ont r a u
!... ,ll
"Yea," replied the judge; "he wouldn't
have been If It hadn't Urn for Crissy.
have
tweett him and the girl he married,
ml in i hi tov of reconc llatlou lie ot- . . . .i..i.. i,,. tall
-",- , . m.in anu uiaue oui nunwi ..
fered to do anything ahe ever asked ' darki hlin0!Wn,e or
blm. Hy tbe way. hadn't you kit ergo or . t- ghe
and aee Crlaay?"
Hut Hie young man
started toward the door.
had already
PROTECT YOUR HORSE
PROTLCT YOURSELF
This is the season wkea you need blankets for
your animal. Come and see our
HORSE BLANKETS
Now $1.75 and up.
When you are driving you endanger your health
' unless Vou keep warm. Take a look at out hayd
some fLUsfe EOBES, STORM ROBES
Prices to Suit
.Give me a call beu you want new harness.
We have what you want and our prices arc below
competition." ' . u
Substantial Repairing a Specialty .
A. M. CAILILE, Second Direc.
"in.a tot' aisn 'Wr ,,,D TUlt ou)
MAN KSUOMTIUtT.
They had not been on apeaklug term
for two day, and CrUay fouud the
alienee aluuat embarraaaiug.
1'reaeutiy the door tietied and an
old man far beytwd the threescore aud
teu limit eiitervd. Ills cheeks were
round and roay, aud hla eyes twinkled
good humorcdly.
Som.thing Struck Him.
A motor waa tearing along a country
road the other day when a lli email
suddenly loomed Into view uear some
cruaswaya and held up bin hand. .The
driver, feeling himself guilty of ex
ceeding the limit, "lowed tip. with a
grout of vexntton. while visions or i
llce court irtH-eedlngs aim "h auuuuga
and costs" flashed upon him.
"Wunt Is it?" ruild he irritably na the
waehluo throbbed slowly past tne po
lice man.
"Well, sir. I uiuat"-
"Look here, countable," Interrupted
the motorlat. 'Tick this up J
vour mouth shut." And a half sover
eign clinked upou the road.,
Thn noliceninn uulfkly Htooped hla
blue official ltack. aud In a twinkling
the motor had bounded on. the driver
honielv. Not getting
continued to devour fat chestnuts.
"tie's got a gun, lie's got a gnn.
He's got a gun on bis, ahonlderr ex
i tnimed the qnlrrel aa he hid behind
a limb and neced out with one eye.
Mothe-.
Voting people. look In those eyes,
Urteu to tbe dear Tolcf and notice tbe
toucb that la be-
.o,.a iokiii vou br that gentle band.
n.t miirh of it while you have tbe
moat precious of all gift, a lorlng
...,..i... Head the unfathomable love
in those eyes, tbe kind anxiety of that
tone and look, howerer slight your
...,i in after life jou may bav
friends-fond, dear, kind frlenda-but
never will you have again the lnex
i.t love and centlcnesa lavished
upon you which none but a mother be
....... often do 1 aigb In my atrug-1
"" . -
eles with the bard, uncaring worm iv
the deep, sweet security I felt when on
reatine on her bosom, I
listened to some quiet tale, suitable to
. .-n read in ber tender, untiring
voice. Never can 1 forget her sweet
..i,.. rni nnon me when I appeared
-i, .,n, r her kiss of oeace at nigbL
Years have passed away since 1 laW
ber by my father In the old cburcn-1
whtfinn from
vrn vot huh uik 'vi.v
her grave, and h.;r eyes watch over m
as 1 visit airota long since na
her memory .-Lord Macauiay.
-Tbe singer held hla audience."
Mm ' '
Hard Proof.
TVhat wUl convince me that tWa
world U not a mere bubbler asked
tbe pesalmistic person who wu always
cfcoo
Pttta-
crowllng. , . ,
"Try failing out of an airship,
kJed the optimist cbeerfally,
burg Tost
A Good Rule
How do you alwaya manage to P
out tbe hotel with tbe beat euaataay
when you are traveling?"
"When 1 get to a certain place I
lect tbe botel at wblcb the trampa b
for food.'
In Soason.
Tld yoor boea call yon dowar
"Naw. He said I waa a p kb.
"And then?"
-He canned me."-CleTeUnd
Stem Reality.
I drenmcd last night that, begla
nlmr with hundred dollars. I pyra-
, . ,.., ... i . : . ug atnrv marltec
They onght to have oeen puuu io . midea my ueis
so that in a una) mic .
000000." an id one of the artist cxlony
In West Sixty-seventh atreet tbe other
plrl as Own. "ut v""
nilstuM a bite. It couldn't be charged
that she was thinking of a man. young
and so In nn aiaewmmueu
or old.
state.
"And he's going to pepHr me-me-me!"
ahotited the siu!ml as he disap-m-nred
into a hollow limb.
This time Miss Dolly faintly compre
hended and looked up. Flasu-bang-cnam!
She scrambled up and down
ngaln with a moan and was too over
come to henr the squirrel shrieking
out: . , ,,
"He's shut a girl! lie's shot a girl!
lie's missed me and shot n girl!"
"What is It? What have 1 done?
What's happened?" cried the voice of a
man bending over her, and Miss uouy
Caught.
chuckling with glottal uuvuig shntnk away ami iookwi up w
the law. young man. with a guu lu his hand, at
Some twenty minutes later tunt antim ll(,r sillp ner i,aml was ctasiwu i net
hi Dumoreuij. ,, Bomsiwi'inj uiu.ii. tier siue. nc. i - - ...... . - - .
So tho Jedgo ain't In." he said re- motorlst vaA heard to murmur on re- an(1 MooA wa9 oozing from under wetk. Then I woke up. - New xor
day. "A crowd or peoP'e tu ,v
and besought me to cease speculating.
They pointed out that I bad mow
money than 1 could ever apend and
that if I kept on I would own all there
was in the world, t replied that I
wanted a billion dollars more for my
ami that I uronosed with tbe
two billion I already had to estaousn i Well, weir. I am aurpnaea to n
a great Institution where all the artist J of Mis8 brinks being engaged to Ut.
Sport ly. ues so awiuuj
know."
"Oh, I don't know! Apparently he
wasn't fast enough to get away from
her." - .-
Another Ciaarette Vlcfclm..
"1 understand that your boy Josh ta
bor rowed from him last j jurei Dls health amokln' cigarette"
and writers and sculptors migui
fne from lecunlary annoyance and
raise the standard of beauty In all the
arts throughout the world. The last
man who t ame to beg me to stop mak
ing money was my attorney. I turned
a deaf ear to hla entreaties, and finally
sternlv demanded of me the $2.50
that I had
Mr'naruey." began '0 J01"'8 man'
your rase" ,
Crlaay saw a way now to make him
apeak to her. .
.i ., aitinir the ludge's place thla
morning. Mr. Harney " she d sweet
ly, "la there anything I can do ror
J The young nmu reddened angrily,
but tho old man nine forward, lull
ing.
ixoou'lotiaueaa. "I wontter u
VVOVl,H .......
that poliieman simply wnuteu to waru
mo that a tree had taiieu acrusa
I roauV'-Londou Scraps.
Japanaio Muthroom Growing-
The Japanese have an Interesting
method of growing a kind of mush
room known as the wood mushroom,
ahltnke. This species, which
Is much prised us a food In Japan, U
h..r flnier-
have wounded you!" gasped the
young man aa he turned pale.
"Yes. you have! You naTe inea to
kill me!"
nti no. no. no! I shot at a squirrel
lu the tree. I give yon my word 1 shot
nl n amilrrel." ' -
"Hut 1 was sitting on me grouim
here." ' f
"Yes but one of the shots must: nave
Fress.
daughter?
twnt vou tin- Jtw
You look Juat like blm."
tank yon. nr. army. bc notcd
iitichter. If y' will atato your i
. ... i... i, iw.f,.r mv father.
case i wm ...j
"Well, you see, yonr p "
" ' ' i ... for nulto a
Ilia to R't me a jMiu-o....
spell ami aome way it don't
"l ' i .il nir on. If It
t itirouKu. m - .
I i. k .mi hnon deflected. I
related to tho SO called tioney tuusua, siruc a ..w u -
a si Sts ry destructive to the roots am sorry, so sorry. I can't teU yoa
atld wotHly plants. This latter how sorry I- nm. May I tto
Is one of tne wound? remaps me uv t
o, . ,,.,,,,,1,. ., ,.r
causes of pnoapimnm-eu ...
ut Tho IntinneSO metuoti m i" ""i-
A N N OUNCEMK1ST
The Royal Bakery & Confectioncry Iacorporatioii,
sole manufacturers of Royal Table Queen Bread
have made arrangements with the enterprise,
firm of -
WYATT CD. CO.
whereby, the said arm of Wy att &. Co., will be ex
clusive agents for
ROYAL TABLE QUEENjL,
Thc best bread On the market. Delivered fresh
every day. Appetisingly delicious, wholesomely
gWKl.
8'"1 lu,l"" ." . ... . io here
don't come preuy WH"'
to enjoy it. . ., ,.
Of course you want """"' ,
: oh h riffht through."
U,:X r k.,ui hartraaid the
old man delightedly.
"Mr. Harucy." " -
forwardde.erndnCd.y,:wr u
Wa-hlngton this '"" ',;' u
cnae and 1 am awry to tell you tnai
cn ., ni., l a inlaHlna
Tne OKI uinu ' - f-la
Jtned suddenly to shr Ivel. Crlsay
..........I hniweon ltiy or it
waa U'v.o V"" - - for
SS.g Jribrlght option
cuccKiunu a .mr,lik snrinc of
n. . 'i-1 - ,
Inc their mushroom seems to consist
. . a la- a A.n,
In preparing the Kronnu ior u. .-v w,
Dice of retl oak. beeeb or chestnut of
L, t-..m wears' growth Is cut down
just after the fall of the leaf. The
wood la then left lying for a hundred
days. U Is then cut Into lengths of
three or lour feet, and the logs are
lacerated wit ft large pruning- knives.
Spores settle on the wounded parts,
aud the mycelium of the fungus
spread through the tissues of the
wood Next year n crop of mushrooms
,i,,..a nr.. The production of mush
rooms may no on for six years, but the
main crop gathered the second year.
GATHER
t- a
catno to nr.. . -T ,a
ry ahoweu ui ---
.nA itlHCOnCeil lv V...V..
.. ,. .,,1,1 aweetlv.
Mr. Harney.
help one anu - - ,f
Itern7' ' "mJ" to gJt tny
I were you i ;. t -
jnslon
"How
'...L....1. I.vera.'
P01 lX'Z .ot It?" he asked
' The hop market htl been vry
nil tbe pant few dava.and no mIm
reported. It iB claimed by the
IP'MBthat buyers have arrived at
u agreemeut to beat down tbe
Market, which, bo lr this leaeon,
oetn very good. Many were
offered 25 oentt, but relueed the
P'ynd they are now In the at
Sphere of nnnrt.lnt. Manv
8oer8 olalin that they are bound
- -trance, and look for even better
fm than prevailed early in the
Mrg. Kllia p. R0hardi, ol Al
blDy. i in the oity thle week, a
"tofMre.U.H.Cronlae.
P-rU""t A?"!?. a7 and S any ""'Td get It .brougb by apecia, act of
;;.r iharehnot muck . profit in congress fI
the bualneB.. , A a m Iter of M
from
nn
S. mnnttoWah enough h.n you thl( autrlct, and he wotm
LP.??.t!il bCt when you bump M m Ilk. n Jw.
rh; iro.Vr up .gelnrt the whole
" .fc-pe la a diff-rence-and b
zrx: u vt r. Taw
5 Wput,.nd.with the low
nrevaiiing price, it la man'a
diioourase growere. ap-- ; t t"ne
JU. ChrUtenecn. of near La. 1
rel. wae U the cny vu- -- -
"Mavlie not," la ""t
'Mayue u roiiLTeasnmn
U. . aake.1 him to do. I'll
An anvtuiux i. .. .. ... ....
, ...ii Him ail uuuut
wrlto him now BUU . , ;
ble scar thete all m life!" she re
plied, with n stamp of her foot. "You
ure a nice man to be given charge of
a gun. How many other folks have
you killed or wounded this morning?"
"Go for him, Dolly; go for blm!"
chattered the aqulrrel. "Ho tried to
kill us, and don't you let hltn tulle
nbout any deflected shot."
"So sorry, you know; so sorry!" the
young " nintt Wept stammering. "1
wouldn't have iuoi you ior o. u
est 1 wouldn't.' Is it a bud wound? la
It painful? Do yyu;thmk It is mor
tal?" .. '
"I fear It Is," replied Miss uouy as
a spirit of mischief bubbled up. "Yes;
It may be fatal, and 1 don't know what
excuse you can urge before a coroner's
Jury. You will be ueciareu my umi-
derer." , '
"lie will! He will! Whoopt He
1 will!" chattered the squirrel.
"So sorry, so sorry i sum tuo con
fused and upset young man. "1 can't
a Crnnirrol That Brotldht call an ambulance here, you know,
A Snot at a bquirrei i nai di uuyiu a , d ,t eve nny doctors' signs
around. .Can I help you home, and
then-then"-
"1 think 1 have the strength to walk
home, but you may run to the village
nnd tell. Dr. Smith that you have shot
me nnd ask him to come. Ten htm it s
probably a mortal wound. Tell him
that It's Miss Dolly Meserve you tried
to kill. Better throw away mat gun or
you'll be shooting the doctor."
"Yes, yes; surety v win. tv
Dr. Smith. So sorry, you know. Do
you think you enn reach home without
help? Yes, certnluly.' And he was
gone.
It was true that some of the bird shot
with which the gun nau uceu touueu
Causa and Effect
Percy-I've got nu aw beastly head
ache this mawning. doncher know. -.
. Algy-What caused it. deah boy?
Tercy-A howid thought stwuck me
last nlght.-Chlcago News. '
Giving Him a Tin.
"Well," demanded the stern faced
woman as she leaned over the red
handled broom, "what do you want?"
"Ladv." said the wayfarer with the
long beard and matted chin, "I'm an
actor by profession and In hard luck."
"Well, what hare 1 to do with that?"
"Why-er-I was thinking If you
could spare me a quarter to get a
Bhave and a hair cut 1 could get a job
In the role ot Vlrginlus."
She eyed him disdainfully. -"Oh,
that's n poor excuse!" she said,
with a curl of her thin Up. "Go up to
the town without a shave and a hair
cut and get a job In the role of Rip
Van Winkle." .
And before he could say another
word she started to unchain the dog.
Chicago News. .
Y.n answered Farmer Corntoeaal;
"he was keerlesa about UghthV one of
em when he had on a celluloid cotiai.'
-Washington Star. h
. . x ; , . . ......
Their Natural Habit j
' "I didn't like thto hat tree at nratj
dear," said the young husband, "but
now It looks quite homelike."
"Yes," murmured the young wife;
"those trees do grow on one." BeaU
more American.
f Tree. i
"Love la blind," quoted tbe aenda
mental maid.
. "Yes," rejoined the practical TMtm
"and there la no love to tocurebOki
blind as self love." Minneapolis lo
naL
loo
Cautious.
Caller I would like to i
thing in the way of a check.
Tailor Er yes excuse me are yo
a customer or a bill collector? Bostosj
Transcript.
er.
CHESTNUTS
What's the Uaef j
"Why wouldn't your auto startl" ;
"Lost my plug."
Trials of a Host. " I nh have to denend on horse Vt
"I suppose you will give some elabo- .. ou jj, yet ehf Cleveland LssaU
. .... .... . l.ln InlnKt" 1 T
rate euieriuiumi:iia iuio . .
Vm jinswtrtHl Mr. Cumrox. T
think we'll improve on those of last
season."
"Weren't they nil successful?"
"Nope. It was my fault, l trtea to
make everybody have a good time, and
tho first thing I knew mother and the
girls were complaining because they,
wereu't sufficiently high class and
foruml.VWashington Star. i
: 1
4
No Loot,
First Author-Do ycu ever lose i
of the manuscript you send out?
Second Author No; they all eeJ
back.-Judge. 1
the
Down a Girl.
week.
Crlssy stared at Uin.ully;
then she
By LAWRENCE CLAY.
tCopyrlght, 13. by Associated Literary
Press. .
The first frost of the season had
come, and Miss Dolly Meserve wus on
down to thu buck lot with a
basket ou her arm. : A big chestnut
tree had stood .there for no one could
fomember how long, turn tins kui
simply hung loaded with burs. Tho
frost probably had opened hundreds of
, The buck lot was half a mllo back
of Farmer Mescrve'a house, jtud the
girl with tho basket was bis daughter,
who had Just completed a term at a
seminary.. and was homo for good, it
n l.it-inir morning, and she' had
donned her mother's hood and shatfl
Frosh Tommy.
"Yes," said the old gentleman at
breakfast, "Edna says the young man
that cnlU ou her takes the palm."
"That's what he does, pa." spoke up
the little brother promptly. "1 saw
hltn take her palm last night and hold
It an hour." ,
Aud the look Tommy received from
the big sister would have frozen radi
um. Chicago News,
No Chang.
"You know woman was once
head of tbe family," she said.
"No need to speak of that In tbe pass
tense," replied her husband meekly
New Orleans Times-Democrat I
i ' i Th Last Turn.
'My turn will come!" the actor ortol
"Soma day I'll turn th dollars!"
Alas, ha failed tn all ha tried.
And now ha turns hla collar.
Chicago N.w.
Th Smart Boy Again.
After explaining the meaning ot the
fateful words "Sic semper tyrannls!"
uttered by John Wilkes Booth, a teach
er in an Arizona town asked It any
had struck something and been deflect- pupil could repeat them. -,i
Two of thein were buried lu the "1 can," attested a youthful desert
quilted hotid, and two or three others product, with positive assurance. "I
wore fouud iu the folds of the heavy eentlpeds and a tarautulttt" -Judge.
Six
Exactly. .
"After all, what difference would af
plorers find between the north pole aaw
the soutn pole?" '
"Oh, all the difference in the worior.
Cleveland Leader.
8pd 8port - if
The chauffeur dodglnr from th ;,
Leu danger ph hl 1
Ho know h alwaya run n
Whene'er no to " '";
. . .. -liwiv"
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