HtLLSBOKO BOY P1 WHY JONES PAID. H Prfrd to Buy th Suppr Rath Than Do Wid'i Brddmg. THRKE fri.iuls h bad Nvn lpii.liiiB tho nouirg tbrlr club apiwtl tliat Ibe wb did not d itie first tiling bis wife told bin) oliea be k'"t boiue sboultl pay far id oystor fcupjuT. Smith !n tiyii.g to End th matcbea trod on ibe rat. "That right." aaKl tbe wife. waWiup tip. "KM tb poor cat and hare doue with If "Well" thought Smith. 'Til bar to do It or pay." So be killed tb family Iiet. Brown, in the dark, stumbled afalast the piano. -Why don't you break U) piano?" demanded bis wife. Brown at once broke tbe piano. When Jones pot bom fce stumbled on the top step cf tbe staircase. "Go on," said his wife-"tnmble downMairs and break your neck." "Not cne." answered Jones, "lU paj for tbe sapper firsC-ltlustrated Bit Tfc Ltgislativs Epidtmio. "Dis yer lepislatur business hi what yon rni jht call epkiemlc said Brother Dickey "goes le rounds an lom. times sweeps thoo a whole family To K fits thoo wU 'um. for feoera tlona an' generations white folka has been k-jrislatin' here, dar an' erery wbar. H runs in de blood, an' dey kin do mo' be'p It than 1 kin he'p beln' righteous or a 'possum kin be'p feelln' 'slmmons we n dey ripe an' ready for him." "Any of them ever make a mtrkr be was asked. "Oh. yes. suh. One er 'on got mad an' tbowed a Ink Ntt!e at somebody, trot oatside er dat I never did bear 'tell dat any er utn did much cuttln' op."-At:anta Constitution. A DiTil Thought. "Well, airship? may be all right, bat I don't tieileve I'll ever care as much for tbem as I do for automobiles." "Why have you become possessed of that ldear "Just think of it When you're out In an airship there never will be any tbnk-vou-roa'ams to make the girl ' squeal and grab bold of you for pro tection. Chicago Record- HenuL Natural History. A certain father who U fond of pot- ' ting his boys through natural history examinations Is often surprised by tbelr mental agility. He recently asked tbem to tell him "what animal Is satisfied with tbe least nourish ment" The mothr one of them scooted confidently. "It eats nothing but boles." New York Journal The Advance Guard. v., He Approve. Friend Why do yon encourage these woman suffrage meetings? Surely, you doot approve of tbem) Husband-Approve? With all my heart! I can come borne as late as I like cow without finding my wife t home to ask questions. Fllegends Blatter. True Loyalty. . Tou should stand up for the rail road that Is doing so much to develot . jour suburb." "Well," answered Mr. Croaslot. "come to think of It 1 never get a eat I stand up for It at least three hours a day." Washington Star. Modified Baseball. . "Do you think baseball will ever get foothold In EnglandT "They play it some." "As strenuously as we do?" "Well. no. They serve tea between Innings, I understand." Kansas City Journal. Hoard at the South Station. "Hold on a minute. I want to get Anybody's for May." "What do you want a back number j totV "Back number nothing! May's my Wife." Boston Transcript ! rrr: ss. Statiou Master -Porter-Clerk (to pro spective passenger who is waiting on branch line station for a train that Is much overdue) She'll be gettln' near now, sir. 'Ere's the engine driver's little dog a-couiin' down the line. ' Sketch. Wants Her Hand Too. "And that young man kissed you on the lips? Why didn't you offer him your hand?" said the father. "Oh, I didn't have to, papa," said the girl. "He's going to ask you for that" New York Telegram. What Did Ho Mean? V The Major I saved that rose you cave me lust week. Miss Antluuo. for. though It Is withered, it still reminds ine of you. Miss Ant!que-Sir!-Christlan Work ind Evangelist. A Widespread Hope. I've never crossed the wide blue i No touring car Is mine, I have to figure carefully When I sit down to dine. But some day my large house shall be The finest on the block; I'll be among the leading men And live In Independence when I sell my mining stock. I have to labor, wet or dry, And skimp and save with care; I always am compelled to buy The cheapest things to wear, But some day I will cease to sigh. And I will travel far; ' In easy luxury I'll dwell ' And quit my Job when I can sell My mining stock at par. E. KUer In Chicago Record-Herald. Yes We MJI TKe SELL Njy7 Pittsburgh Ferfect Fence THE FENCE OF FENCES We are also Agents for thejcelebratcd Plymouth Stan dard Binder twine, the Adriance Buckeye binder, the Thomas Crown mowers and rakes, the Racine Satterly wagons, tne jonn ueere Duggies, piows, etc., me i cicr Schutler wagons, the Oliver Chilled plows, the DeLeval septrator, the Sherwin Williams paints and varnishes, the Gotzian shoes for men, women and children, the Stillson Kellogg shoes, the Conqueror hat for men,. Ia addition to U above we carry a first-class ttock of dry (roods, groceries, etc. We are making a big cat ia Economy jars. Get oar price before buvinc lwhre. MAYS & CON OVER. Scholia. Ore. A WONDERFUL INVENTION Invented by A. W. Arnold An Automatic Damper which controls the fire in a stove or furnace. Economizes from 25 to 50 per cent of fuel and is a wonderful .convenience. So very simple and so very effective. Will never get out of order and will never fail to work. The Safety and Economy Damper Company is now fully organized under the laws of Oregon with a capital stock of $100,000.00, divided into 100,000 shares at $1.00 each. This company owns alls of the United States rights under these valuable patents and the stock of the company will be worth many times its par value in a short time for it will pay enormous dividends in this low capitalization. We are cooperating with J. M. Kerr, of Port land, Oregon, in demonstrating this damper and taking subscriptions for the stock as we consider it the greatest thing we have ever seen. We have invested money in the stock and are glad to ask our friends to invest in it. We are also taking orders for the dampers for future delivery as we want to receive one of the first shipments of the dampers and we hope to see Hillsboro raise a good portion of the money to fiinance the enterprise. Come and see a demonstration, do not fail for it is a little wonder. Do not fail to buy some of this StocK while you have a chance to get in on the ground floor. CONNELL & COUP ANY Hillsboro, Ore. Gonnell & Co. We wish to announce to our CUSTOMERS that we have secured the exclusive selling agency on VAN DUZER S EXTRACTS. These extracts have been analyized by every State Chemist in the United States and are found to be absolutely pure, of superior strength and delicacy of flavor, in order to close out our old line of extracts we will give one 20c bottle of Van Duzer's Famous Vanilla free with every bottle of extract purchased from our old line. Do not let this opportunity go by to get the best bot tle of Vanilla Extract in the United States, Abso lutely Free. Two Dottles of Extracts for the price of ONE. Rooms to Let. Board and Lodging. When Hungry call on the Somo SBtylo RESTAURANT for a good square meal. Main St. Hillsboro - - - Oregon r m McNUTT REAL ESTATE CO. : I have city and coun try property in all sizes, from 1 acre to 1,000. Ele gant city property in both Forest Grove and Corne lius. Farm lands from $10 per acre to as good as you want. R. W. McNutt, Mgr. VL?l)T0 P PRICE Market FISH, MEATS AND CHOICE STEAKS. ' POULTRY. We pay the highest market price for Poultry. Next Door H ARTRAMPS Feed Store. HILLSBORO, ORE. On Faculty of Illinois I.:iw School, in I'uivcrMty SOS OF GKEEN HUE. fiOXtlK ! Will Ltave Ur lb last About Spum t-rr William 0. Hale, ern of Mr. Mrs. Ore n Hale, well known iri denUotWwl HilloWo, fjr inny years, and who reside in lrl land, although th y ar uow camp eJ for th warm wwon at their Springs, a mil fact of town, ha!1 two appointed a member of tie Faculty ol the University of Iai noia Lw School, and will leave to take charge of hie dutiee, about September 1. Mr. Halei a bright young attorney, and fir some year baa ben practicing 1 in Tort land. He was torn ou the farm a mile weet of thii city, and gradu ated from Pacific I'niveri'tty, ciaf of 1903. and then went Kaet to Harvard, where he graduated with honors. The honor came to Mr. Hale un sought, and was the remit of tht TniTereity's inepecti in of the Har Tard graduation of Mr. H ale's year While at Pacific Mr. lhle won the state oratorical context, and at Harvard he was the leader of hie classes. Ids parents are very rxucb pleased over tie advance, and bit boyhood friends in U.iecitj tender congratulations. Advertiactl Lcttrra Margaret Anderson, Wax R AUn, At fred AlJiu, JI L Arnoth, W C ttotrn. Mm Lizzie Howe, Mm Kulh lUrnrs. Mm J K llrown, Mr Minnie Brtgi. Ger trude Brron. Chas I Botkcr, Mi lUrl Barnes. 'Blair Cleveland, Urn Clarke, (tick ClautltieM, Mt Cor I'avMioti, Mim Katie Oocring, T M Davit, Mrs Geo Uavia, Lyle r lelt (). Mr C 0 rro, Gervai Francois (3), Mr Groen, Otto Gettis, li N Galea, W K Gritln, Wm A Gleaaon, Mr J Herztm-kr, Henry Kroui ror, Mrs SI Miller (J), Mia K Miller, Mil .el ma Kor, Tom Mnrvun, John McCalUater, J D McJunl, Chut Owen, Misa Cora Belle ltice, Minnie M I anlee, Glenn Rowcll, Miaa Lima KoherUon, Mim Lena Kobertion J M Stielton Willamette Conut Co, K C iCirby 11. P. Cornehm, I M. BENSON BAILEY. Andrew Benson, a well known rest dent of Cornelius, and Mrs. Anca Bailer, of the same city, were unit ed in marriage al the home of the bride, September 4, liKW, Rev. John F. Diescber, Lutheran tnin inter, officiating. SPACE Get your hop gloves at Baird'a only 75 cents per dozen. Wm. M. Hughes, who his been here two years, and who owns 10 acres near tbe Hunteuiano irri gated ranch, eouthweet of town, was in Tuesday. He is senouely hinting of putting in an Irrigation plant in tbe not distant future, is he has an ideal place to install eymetem. Hi eta'es that the Hantemann plant is doing tbe work, and that its extra producing merits mil more than pay for u self in a year or so. J. T. Murieofi, who is irrigating on his ranch below Harris Bridge, was in Tuesday, and for the bene St of thoje who contemplate irriga tion out of the waters of Dairy 0 the Toalatin, says that (he proper procedure is to write to J. H. Lewis State Engineer, Salem, Ore., for blank forma, and get started right Young folks don't furzit the dances at ha Jolly bopytrd every V ednesday and oaturday evening until after bop picking cloees Good mut.ic and a one time. Be one cf OB. Committee. Marion Odeo, who lived here 12 years ago, was out Saturday night. Marion looks as though the world had not used him at all sorely since he left Hillsboro. lie was very much surprised 10 note the growth of tbe city since he de parted. He is now located in Portland, at No. 23 West Humboldt Street. , Melville Lleuuellen, who sold cut south of Laurel a few years ago, and went to another .section, has returned and b:ught part of the Milton Cady place and is preparing to build a new houEe. After all, he thinks Washington County iB good enough. If you want a house moved, or carpenter repairing, call on M. C. Hewitt. First class work. Coun try work solicited. M. C. Hewitt, Uillsboro. J. D. Smith, Warden at the Washington State Penitentiary, Walla Walla, Washington, is down for a visit with his parents at For est Grove, and came down to spend tne day witb bis brother, W. 1) Smith, tbe last of the week. Taken up: Muley 2 year old Inifer; black, white above eyfK, and two white spots on flank. Owner ple&te call, prove property, and take same away. John Dennis, nuiBDoro. 2G 8 Hon. Wallace McCammant, law yer, orator, savant, and incidental ly corporation counsel for some of the big interests, was out from Portland Tuesday morning. Eight bars of Rainier Mineral Soap lor 25 cents, at Greer's. 20 9 mm Sill In order to make room for still moro now fall goods, tho people ol Hillsboro and vicinity will bo airordod an opportunity of gotting somo UNDERWKAK UAUQAIN8 Sales Continue From Sept. lO to 25 Here They Are MEN'S Mens Summer Ribbed. Rctf 5()f M l7c Porous Unit " 50c " l7v lnre Length Drawers 5Q' " 37c " Summer Union Suit $125 " )tSc J I.ADIKS" Uilits LMt Fiimh Wits, Rrji Z5c t Ilk I5c " 07c " SilK 75c " 49c " " 60c M l7c " Union Suit 50c " 'A7c $ for $ our motto between the Urup Stores. The Nelson Hardware Co. For Ranges that Excel, and Right Prices r ml 1 I ) ' ; 1 1 HI, - "'c The Lorrtl line of A No-1 Ran(e In tht county Harvest i ami why not 1 that range and make your liitcbcu dcliglit? Come in and & tis. Wc will et plain the super qualities of our ran ccs. Listen: J $1 DOWNJ $1 per WEEK w. f. ' The Standard Range, $3Q to $40-for a medium priced range this1 classy piece of kitchen furniture. It can't be beaten. Come in and sec one. The Superior, $40 to $70, absolutely the finest range in the world fJ the money. All kinds of durnblo angmg from 80 to $2 25. Cst iron 5tovc-,. rood bakers, sdline at only 0 N1SLSON IIAUinVAUK CO., Him hiwho, Oif Perry Ellis end wife, ol Hills dale, arid who have been at Crystal Springs, above Gales City, for sev eral weeks, returned to their horns plaoe, passing through the city Monday. Jacob Itaflety, f Mountatndals, was In town Tuesday H. M. Basford, who owns a ranch below Rood's Bridge, was up to the city Tuesday. . rt lau!rtnSrl auu Dtniariu B last of tbe week, ooowi. .,.Uin wm' bjjduv buuiv vr need repairing. r