BOWSER AS AN AR
TIST
WW IX MUM
3
Man of Many Moods Tries His
Hand at Interior Decoration.
ADMITS HE IS A FAILURE.
Pprhanging Looks Easy Samual
Wrestles With Wrinkles, Ladder,
Paste and Furniture and Fleee From
the Ruins.
By M. QUAD.
Copyright, by .Ar-xviattU Literary
M
II. POWSER was ready to
tvsirt for the offii-e at t
usual S .'to o'clock the otluT
morning; lut. swing an no-
qiialntanov down strvct. he waited (r
him. This took up ten minutes, during
which Mrs. lWsr was fluttering
round the front door and warning
him that he would lie late. He was
Just moving off w hen a stranger came
along and halted to ask:
"Is this where Bowser lives?"
Yes, and I am Bowser. What Is
itr
"Your wife telephoned to Hlirgs
tuggs yesterday to send tip a paper
hanger, and here I am."
"Oh. Mrs. Bowser telephoned for
paperhanper. did she? A room to t
papered, and nothing said to me about
K: Well, you can go back. I'll do the
work myself."
"Are you a paperhanger?"
"One of the best on earth."
The workman muttered a "Humph!"
and scuffed away, and after excusing
himself to his acquaintance Mr. Bow
ner went back into the house and said
to Mrs. Bowser:
"Why wasn't I told of this paper
hanging business?"
"1 I forgot," was the confused
answer.
"Oh. I see: Well, I cheerfully rvminj
you of it right here and now. What
room have we that ueeds painting r
"I am going to change the pair on
the spare room. Knowing how busy
"Hl'8 THB TEKRIBI.BST HKS
OB EEABD OF."
I KVXB SAW
yon are, I didn't want to bother you
about it. And was going to pay for
It out of my own 'pocket too."
"Very kind of yon, Mrs. Bowser
exceedingly kind, but I will save yo
that expense. There's nothing rust
ing at the office today, and I'll change
Into my old clothes and put the paper
on the walls. I can probably get
through by noon."
"But I wish you hadn't sent the
man away. I want this done very
nice. If you set about it you'll
. yea"
"That's enough. Mrs. Bowser. When
I can't hang paxr with any one in
this town I'll jump on my hat. I
don't propose to pay some botch 2.1
for what I can do in a day or less.
I'll be ready in ten minutes."
"Can't I hire or coax you to go to the
officer
"By thunder, woman, but you are
acting mighty queer about this mat
ter: Do you forget that I am Bow
aer?' "You are Bowser, of course, but once
when you tried to paper a bedroom
you got the strips ou sjjueegawed and
. all wrinkled up. A man has got to be
an artist to hang"
"Sguei-gawed: Wrinkled !' he shout
ed. "I deny it: Never in this old
world: It was an artistic Job. and to
day I'll show you another. If you can
And one wrinkle when I'm done I'll
eat my shoes. No mure excuses now;
I'm going to work."
Tears as Bowser Prepared.
Mrs. Bowser had bought ths paper
and had it trimmed and sent home
and then eugaiicd a man. lie was to
do the work and p-t out before Mr.
Bowser got home. Not a wor-J would
she say about it for days and days,
but Mr. Bowser's delay at the gate
. brought disaster to her plans. While
he went upstairs to change his clothes
she sat down and shed tears. While
she was weeping the cook time from
the kitchen and said:
"He's the lerri blest man I ever saw
or heard of. Mind you. now, if he falls
from the stepiadder and brings on an
explosion you needn't ask uie to run
for bandages and things. He may
blow all to smash and I won't lift a
linger."
As the old paper was to be soaked
and scraped off the walls, Mrs. Bow
ser had taken up the carpet. The man
had said that she needn't move bu
reau nor bed. Mr. Bowser found a
pall of paste and the stepladder ready,
but before making u dash he called
Mrs. Bowser up and said:
"I may have spoken harshly to you,
but that's the way with us artists. We
are quick to resent criticism. Jour
douhtlug my talents and skill touched
trie on the raw. That's one reason
why I don't take up landscape palnt-
Ing-rin too touchy. As to this job,
It s mere piny,
and I'll call You
done."
Vou run fllUUK row
when I get one wall .
No one has eveffyet built or ever
'IU build a bouse where the corners
f the rooms were plumb up and
down. They look to be, but they are
not The puperltfliiger measures until
be finds the true lines. Mrs. Bowser
bad planned for the old paper to come
off. Mr. Bowser figured that leaving
Yes We
SELL
THE FENCE OF FENCES
We are also Agents for the celebrated Plymouth Stan
dard Binder twine, tbe Adriance Buckeye binder, the
Thomas Crown mowers and rakes, the Racine Satterlv
wagons, tbe John Deere buggies, plows, etc., the Peter
Schutler wagons, the Oliver Chilled plows, the IVLeval
septrator, the Sherwin Williams paints and varnishes,
the Gotian shoes for men. women and child rtMi tit,'
oiuison Keuogg stioes, the Conqueror hat for men,
la addition to the above we carry a first clsst stock of dry
bixkIs, groceries, etc. We are making a big cut io Economy jars.
Get our prios befow buin elsowhr.
MAYS & CONOVER. Scholls. O
Ole Hansen
Expert Horse Shoeing' and
General Blachsmithing'
i
Li
OLD STAND.
It on would make the room warmer
If It should so happen that there were
any germs or microbes alxut they
would be pasted in between and ren
dered harmless. He had no board to 1
paste on, but there was the bare door. :
It's all In starting the first strip. Mr. ,
Bowser started his half an Inch out j
of plumb at the top. It slanted ofT to '
the rtsht at the bottom. He didn't no-
tire It until be bung the second strip. ,
Then he had to ieel both off. This
time they slanted to the left. Off they j
came again, and the third time be hit j
It that is, be got them falriy straight, j
but didn't notice the dozen wrinkles j
In each strip; also that he had not '
made a match of the figures. From j
this he went on gayty until he reached ;
to the other corner of the wait He '
had to cut a strip to fill a space. He '
measured the width with his eye and
got it two inches too wide. He meas
ured with an old hairbrush and got
It two Inches too narrow. In stepping
back to rub the top of his bald head
and wonder what was the matter be
fell over the bare bedstead backward
and came down with an awful Jar.
What is itr asked Mrs. Bowser as
she ojiened the door a minute later.
"Nothing nothing 'tall. You keep
out till I get this wall done ."
But yon are papering over the old
paper"
"Certainly! This is a cold room In
the winter, you know. The more pa
per you can get on the walls the warm
er it will be. If we bad five thick
nesses on there would be need of only
one quilt on tbe bed In January."
"But you've got it squeegawed, Mr.
Bowser"
"Squeeeawed be hanged: Where's
your K'jueegaw?
Here and here and here! And
look at the wrinkles!"
Not a wrinkle In the whole Job but
what will come all right when the
paper dries out. You've got to have
a few wrinkles or poll the wall down."
"But it doesn't match," moaned Mrs.
Bowser.
Woman, get out of here! I didn't
try to match it closely. You've got to
give the strits a chance to work up
lid down until they finally adjust
themselves."
Mrs. Bowser departed with tears In
her eyes, and he turned and gave the
bedstead three kicks aud a cuss and
went back to his corner strip. It took
blm three-quarters of an hour to mak
match of it. and then his pasty
bands had made the colors run in
spots and there were wrinkles galore.
Then as he hunted over the floor for
his shears be trod upon a freshly past
ed slip and went down on his shoulder.
Merely Sat Down to Ret.
As he went down the bureau jumped
at him and hit him in tbe small of the
back. He lay there when Mrs. Bow
ser opened the door and looked around
and asked:
"lx you know what you've done?"
"I I simply sat down to rest for a
minute."
"In cutting for that narrow str.'p
you've cut up two of the big strips,
and now we shall be short of paper.
This is all they had of this pattern,
and now now"
And when she bad gone Mr. Bowser
rose up and booted that bureau as If
he were a policeman and It a tramp.
Then he booted the bedstead again.
Then he tore two of the last strips off
the wall and went to his room and
changed his clothes. He was sneak
ing downstairs when Mrs. Bowser
faced him and asked:
"Where are you going?"
"Out of the house," he replied. "I
am not wanted here. I am looked
upon witb distrust. I am considered
a slouch. As an artist my talents are
not appreciated. Here's $10. Get
more paper and get your hanger, and
be hanged to him!"
And that's the nearest Mr. Bowser
has ever come to acknowledging that
be was a failure In anything.
M. QUAD.
A Merciful Man.
"Do you always toll your wife every
thing you hoar?"
"NO. I 10VP hf.r tnn 11...H 4n t
all the old stories I am compelled to
listen to at the banquets which I at-
tena. unicago Kecord Herald.
- The Prospect.
"I am Borry that there Is a craze for
these aeroplane flights."
"Why o?"
"Because the lovers who want to
take tbem will be more to the clouds
than ever." Joeh Wink.
! XJ P'tburRh
" p 1erfect
-Jll Fence.
re.
ine
REEDV1LLE. Oregon.
McNUTT
REAL
ESTATE
CO.
I have city and coun
try property in all sizes,
from i acre to 1,000. Ele
gant city property in both
Forest Grove and Corne
lius. Farm lauds from
$io per acre to as good as
you want.
R. W. McNutt. Mgr.
PRICE
Market
FISH, MEATS AND
CHOICE STEAKS.
POULTRY.
We pay the highest
market price for Poultry.
Next Door
H AR TRAMP S
Feed Store.
HILLSBORO, ORE.
Rooms to Let. Board and
Lodging. When Hungry
call on the
EComo Stylo
RESTAURANT
for a good square meal.
Main St.
Hillsboro - - - Oregon
OREGON ELHCTRIC TIMK
LEAV'KS FOR
PORTLAND
ARRIVES FROM
PORTLAND
?0'3i 7:40 a. m
" 33. . 9:25 "
' 35...u:os "
" 37-.. 1:10 p m.
" 39--3:to "
" 4r.4:3o "
" 43 6:30 "
" 45 9:o "
" 47 ..l:I0 a. ni.
: No- 3 6:55 a. m
! " 34-..-8:40
: " 36 -10:30 "
1 " 3-..l:35p.m.
40...j;oo "
I " 41.. .3:40 '
44 ....4:30 "
' 46,...7:i5 '
' 48... 105 "
F. A. Retz'I, of near Farming
ton, was an Argui caller, Taefday
fternoon.
W. E. McCoort tod wife depart
ed for a week's trip to Seattle, Tuea
day tvening.
Mipg Pugenia Hembree, of Eu
Bene, wag Saturday and 8unday a
guest at the borne of J. E. Butler
and wife.
Judge Campbell caire oat Tuea
day and held an adjourned day or
court. He will not come again un
til about September 1.
L. C. Kinper, who owns a neat
little farm near the Tualatin Plain
church, was in Monday: His lit
tle girl, who broke an arm two
weeks ago, ia getting along nicely.
Mrs. H. W. Spooner and dangh
ter, M'm Elizabeth, of Portland,
ere guests at the home of E L.
James and family, West Baseline,
Sunday. Mrs. Spooner is a eieter
of Mr. James.
Oliver Huston to I iter
.Mulliwiinh I In I1
AT THE BIG MllLt HHl UHI
Will tUke
Ttj Ut rim!r
111 in
Oliver Huston, u( lrt!n 1, f -r-;
nier rtrident of this city, ll
I known as the eldest .n of Hon S.
j B. Huston, will t in the A A V.
! event at Seattle tomorrow and
aturday, an a metiilr of the
Multnomah Club lie ie one of
the best in the century dath, and
hie trainer thinks he will be able
to beat all competitors. He led
Smitruoa. the f inter Oregon cham
pion in his tryouts. atut critics civ
hie only chat ce of decent is in the
tact that te it rather plow in Mart
ing. 1 his defect, howevt-r, i being
gridually worked out of him, and
by tomorrow, if hcin kep tip hi
raiuing enstsf, he will have no
trcuHe in capturing the Sett!e
event.
Oliver Huston is known to every
person in llilbiboro, having fin'eh !
ed tbe blBh hCbool here nhi.ro h.
was raised, and then going to I'aci
fie Univer?ity He is now attend
ing the State University at Kugene
and is very proficient in hisclsbsee
He Bull Cnla time, however, to
take an active interest in athletics
and tai surprised some of the best
(printers on I he coast for tbe
century distance.
CRAWFISH PARTY
A p!eacat.t cra6ih partyinpyfd
the day at Sara Mix n'e dtliiihtful
home near Centerville, Sunday
laet. The hont and hcett as enter
tained the j arty in an apprec iabl
manner and the ertire day wa
fpent on tin banks of the htrearn
Mr. Mon sang a number of o'd
Knglieb ballads and others j .inert
in the festivities ( f the day. Tbom
present were.
Host and hoa-s. Mr. and Mrs
K. E. Nichrlstn, Forest (i:ovf;
Mrs. L M. Harris, Mr and Mrs
. V Ennes, Mrs Lulu William
son, Mrs. C. Wren. Mrs. Anna
amnions, Mies E iz l,eth Moon
Miss Adeline Cawiee, M'uh Hertie
Cawrse. Mi-s L ttie Ennip, Miss
Kate Wren, Lloyd Harm, Henry
Eonis, II Kveritt. L. T Kt-sgle, A
Camioorlis, K. IMerzilka, li Hpn
er, Jos. Cawrz-e. Wi bur Job, J,,s
Harrington, J( l,n Cawree, Anton
O-pelt; Mis. Ludemia AnderBin.
Mies Beenie Anderson, J. 1). Ai.dtr
son, iiiileb ro; Mihh L zzie Moore.
Mii-s Mary Nicholsen, Fore drove;
H. A. Wilson, Seattle; Mrs. C.
Sprsner, Roy Craw, Roy Dillr,
Portland; Ham Moon Jr.
J. H. Lilly, deputy game warden,
of CJilen Cr-ek, was in tbe city
Tuesday, hiving just returned f om
a trip down in the McKenzie river
region, where he was rounding up
hunters who were overstepping the
law.
Nels Hanson, who ha bten
farming twenty years two miles
this side of Cedar Mill, was up
Monday morning, taki-ig out tin
ner supplies for his handsome new
residence.
Dr. Lowe takes a person! inter-
est in each pair of glasses he sells,
and under no circumntnf..a .;n
he recommend them if nnt nrl0,i
Hotel Tualatin, August 13
Contractor Moore started layini
brick on the Pythian Block this
week and the masons nu'ef tn
have the structure ready to put on
the roof in abiut twenty d&fsv
Attorney Gao. R. Rsolmr v,.
taken up his residence in hi) own
property, recently purchased from
the loomed.
? - ' ) iv
i f A ,
t ;
W r -:
i ' v !
; I -".V vi
l I p
r: :
1 i i -. i ' V
It b
i Hill IJ U II El II U II II U II II II II I I Mil I
O n H n!lll!
A startling reduction in prices on all Dress
Goods and Slimmer Shoes.
The Chances of the Season.
Special Prices in Ladies9 White Waists,
The Nelson Hardware Co.
For Ranges Unit Excel, and Right Prices
.. taT!,
p' " - v'v . '. "."I,"T
'""" '"" " '" " " w' I
fe-p a fj
11 f
(ftl ' ,-rJ? J
T, Q u t,lu 1 c hcatcn. Come in and sec one.
?Pm2:' ;ibS,,h,Kly UlC fi ranKc in the world
a ngiug front 80 to $2 25 c. P 8tVe9 fr yUr vacation ftml
g V U Cast ,ron Moves, good bakers, selling at only 8 50
nki.hoWiiaui)vauj:co u m
vVe are in thn mArWot .
farms of about 100 acreB ftolr
cleared tud good noil, and f0,
which we will pay cash for all, hut
price must be right A. J, iuy,
34 Sherlock Building, Portland'
Oregon. 20 2
ow
mm mm
20r, 25c nil lOc Uwn for 11 l-2c
UN l-2c ntl 17 l-2t 9 l-'Jc
lOc ami V2 -'2c " " (h
'25c to l5t fancy White WuiMintfs 17c
I l-2c funt y Ginham c)c
Children's White Cunvti Oxfurds 59c
Women's " " " $1,15
Pumps $1.23
Gray ' Oxford $1.00
Misr UlucK and Tun Oxfords '2 to 5. $1.75
$ for $ our motto
between the
Drug' Stores.
Alexander K.hrli, r,f near ()V
Cafper,
nUH a ranch
w "I to the
TV
city
ih7A7ur'?.,ng' Rr,d cm -
J. W. York. f hlnw ilflfi(vil,B
town Tu,Bday afJCOon ' '
3
The Laretl
line o f A No. I
Rones in the
county
Harvest is here
ami why mt buy
that range "i
ntul m.ikc your
kitchcu a delight?
Conic in and
us. 'c will ex
plain the suicrior
qualities of o"'
ratines. Listen:
$1 DOWNnJ
$1 per WEtK
2
HOO&i
MOORE A
Fresh mud Ourri
ALWAYS IN BT00
..ktfti'
J
smoomiMtommt, nm- .