The Hillsboro argus. (Hillsboro, Or.) 1895-current, August 05, 1909, Page PAGE 4, Image 4

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    PAGE 4
TOO MUCH GOOD LUCK TALES BY A TRAMP.
By FLORA MILLIGAN.
Copyright, 1S0S. by American Pre Aim
elation 'I maintain." said Brown, "that Ufa
la a came of cards. It consists of two
parts -skill anil luck."
"How alxmt tb condition of life
tuto which one U born?" Mid Jonea.
"That's a part of the luck. A man Is
born Into certain circumstances In lieu
of cards and certalu ability In lieu of
skill."
"And la opportunity a part of the
cards?"
"Yes; that Is to be counted with
luck."
"Suppose one has plenty of still, lut
no opportunity."
"lie Is In the same tlx as a skllUul
player whose cards are bad."
"Geutlemen," said a seedy Individual
at a neighboring table they were In
a cafe "pardon the Interruption, but I
couldn't help hearing your conversa
tion, and I am Interested In Its pur
port Permit me to add one state
ment to those you have made. It Is
this a man's game may be spoiled
ky too much luck."
"That Is his own fault," said Brown.
"He shouldn't lose his bead."
"One may be mined by good luck
and not be at the slightest fault"
"That statement on Its face Is In
correct, a contradiction," replied Brown.
"I can give you a case."
"Do so," said Jones. "If you satisfy
us In the matter yon may order the
best dinner the house affords and I
will pay for it."
"With a bottle of champagne as my
contribution," supplemented Brown.
"Done." said the stranger. "Had It
not been for too much good luck I
should now be diniug and wining oth
ers Instead of accepting your bounty,
giving you nothing but an Illustration
In return. When I was a young man
my father, dying, told me that his
brother, my uucle, who was a mil
lionaire bachelor, intended to make me
his heir and I must be very circum
spect In my treatment of him. I had
tense enough to see the situation
and"-
"Overdld it" Brown put in. "Ton
disgusted him, and your"
"Xot at all," the stranger went on.
"I grew very fond of him and did
Bot need to pretend to be Interested
In him. He was smart enough to per
ceive this, and we grew nearef together
every day. The old gentleman wis
very foud of playing poker hands for
I small stake. Every night before he
went to bed he Insisted on my sitting
down with him for an hour at this di
version." "I see," said Brown. "Ton were silly
enough to let him win, and it angered
him."
"Or to win his money," added Jonea.
"I must do either one or the other,
gentlemen, and so I did in the end, bat
I shall come to that in a moment. For
a time the game wavered between us.
Sometimes my uncle and sometimes I
would be ahead. But one night, the
fatal night" the stranger moaned, "I
held a full hand of aces against my
uncle's full band of kings. .Naturally
we both bet high that is, for a game
Intended only to help pass an hour
before going to bed and of course I
won.
"The next deal fell to my uncle, and
neither of us got more than a single
pair. I then dealt and gave my uncle
four tens and myself a royal flush. I
did not bet high, but wben I showed
down my uncle looked surprised. His
next deal was unimportant, but at my
next I gave him three aces and my
self four queens."
"Oh, well," protested Brown, "if a
man has a mind to do that sort of
thing be can't blame his luck."
"I was neither. I knew nothing
about putting cards where I wanted
them. Had I known I should have given
the winners to my uncle. I had sim
ply 'struck a remarkable run of luck.
I was horrified at It and would have
been delighted to change it, for I saw
that my uncle" was beginning to think
that I was cheating him. I took ad
vantage of one low hand he dealt me
to bet high, but only made matters
worse, for he held lower cards than I.
"And so it went on. Every time I
dealt I saw my uncle watching my
Angers with a terrible suspicion on hia
face."
"Why," interrupted Brown, "didn't
you bet low?"
"So I did on one occasion. I held
three tens and bet a mere trifle. My
uncle held four nines, and when he
saw, that I had stayed out he holding
bis only big hand, be assumed that I
did so with a knowledge of where the
cards lay.
"And so the game went on, I always
topping him, seeing a fortune pass
away from me and having no power to
top the luck that was ruining me,
How I wlHhed that I had learned
dealing cards professionally so that I
could have given my uncle better cards
than mine! At last he rose from the
table and, pointing to the door, said:
" 'Go, and never let me see your face
again!'
"The next day be changed his will,
and a week later he was dead."
The stranger ceased to speak. Brown
looked at Jones, and Jones looked at
Brown. Then they called the proprie
tor and paid the bet. But they did not
remain to see the stranger eat. Aa
they passed out he followed them with
a corner of his left eye, but said noth
ing. "What lesson," said Jones, "do you
draw from this episode?"
"That it Is singular how some men
who have been given high cards In the
game of life will play them for such
tmall stakes."
"Just so," replied Jones.
,1 V. (
The Dilapidated Gentleman and
His Many Experiences.
HISTORY REPEATED ITSELF.
How a Justica of tha Psaca Got What
Wu Coming to Him For Making a
Fait Arrott A Michigan Murder
Mystery.
By M. QUAD.
Copyright. I1, by Associated Literary
I resa
THE dilapidated p'tittcmnn was
sitting on a park bench in the
sunshine and enjoying bis
pipe Willi grcai ;umi nnu u
the interviewer approached be was
greeted with:
"I'm not much on old s:iYlii;.r, but
I wish to remark that history repeats
Itself."
"Just how In this case?"
"Seven or eight years ago, as I was
biking a saunter over tbo groat state
of Ohio and was approaching Youngs
town, I was iialib"tl by a constable,
rushed before a J. 1. and scut to jail
for three months as a vng. I had
$25 In my pocket had boon at work
for a farmer for weeks and was a vag
tn no sense of the term. I asked tr
PliiiPl
iiilllil
Your Gait.
Don't go such a fearful rate.
Take a slow an' stiddy gait.
Don't you think you'd better heed
Common sense an' check your speed?
Rome warn't fashioned in a day.
Hurry Jobs don't never stay.
Take a gait that's safe an' sane,
Then keep pushin' en the rein.
Better make It slow an' sure
Ef you want It to endure.
Lota o' things kin hap, Indeed,
When you try to overapeed.
Tou might git there quicker, an'
Then ag'ln you mightn't land.
There's a gait thet's aale an' Bane.
Take It, then push on the rein.
. , . Joa Cone In Boa ton Herald.
"ros as Born I Mi.ua her taste tub
BJ.TTKR.SEh8 or DEATH.''
a lawyer to defend me, but was re
fused. While I dug my way out of
the old Jail within a week, I've always
wanted to get eveu with that J. I'.
After gettiug out I wrote him a letter
that I would get even."
"Well?"
"Well. I've got even at last. Half
an hour ago the worst looUn;j old
bum I've seen lu three years came
along here and struck nie fur n nick.
We fell to talking, and bans me If lie
didn't turn out to be that saiao. old
J. P.! Lost his wife, lost bis home
and all else and has come dovn to
tramping. Say, I got up, turned him
around and gave him the bout six
times, and now I feel that the matter
la off my mind. Dr. Tarkburst would
say that I ought to have taken bin) to
my bosom and forgiven and sent him
back to Ohio with a necklace of
pearls, but I'm not doing business on
that corner.
"I was telling you one time," con
tinued the dilapidated, "about the ab
sorbing interest farmers take In mur
ders and robberies. It Is because they
seldom meet up with anything of the
kind personally. I have stayed at
farmhouses where such a thing ns a
robbery had not been known iu fifty
years. I told you at the same time
that the general idea of a tramp Is
that he must have been a pretty
wicked fellow at some time In his life.
If be don't own up that he was and
state that be has reformed he's con
sidered as only half a trump.
"Five years ago this bu miner I was
touring Michigan. There's a town tip
In the northern part of the state
named Bad Ax. I'crhaps there's a
Good Ax around tbere somewhere to
match it, but I can't Bay. rive miles
from the town I struck a farmer who
offered me a certain sum and board to
grub out some stumps. I went at It.
After supper that night I was asked
euougb questions to prove that the
family was curious about me, nnd I
promised that on the next night I
would relate an experience to make
their hair stand up. That farmer was
a thrifty man. He went ruining his
neighbors and repeated my words, and
the result was that when night came
sixteen outsiders had gathered at his
house, at a charge of 10 rents each, to
hear me talk. Did be divvy with tin;
undersigned? Oh, no! He knew a
good thing when he saw It.
Hit Marriage to Lovely Girl.
"When ready to talk I began with
my marriage to a lovely girl and tin?
happiness that followed for a year.
Then a fiend Incarnate told hi that
I loved fourteen other women, and
she eloped with him. I found her
tracks in the mud and vowed heaven
that I would never rest until I had
had revenge. For eight long years I
followed the guilty couple, ami I was
about to give up In despair when one
evening I found myself sealed direct
ly behind thorn nt a circus perform
ance. As they ate peanuts nnd drank
lemonade I tried to borrow a stiletto
to stab them in the back. No stiletto
was to be found.
"When the show was out I followed
the couple. They got Into a wagon
and drove three miles Into the country,
and I followed close behind. I couid
have pulled a rail off the feme and
killed them as they drove, but I had
another plan. At this point I nked
each one of my audience to kike a
solemn oath not betray my nor ret
nor take any Rteps whatever to brl.ij
me to Justice. Not one refused to take
the oath. They licked their chops nnd
were glad to take it. It presaged some
thing more bloody than they had
hoped for.
"Well, as the story went, I bung
around the farm for a collide of days,
and then the wife began making soft
soap. The lye In the big kettle had
been boiling for five hours and mid
night had come when I raised a win
dow and crept Into the house. I found
the guilty parties asleep. I tupped
them on the head With a club and
m l 1 en i sat down bv lhi
! . . ,, .1 il i.;...n.. er ilicir fears.
.';!, Put I t!. ai. il! They wept and
l:! ed ami chivem! and shvok. but I
sat tliotv wiib. the lock of a demon
on try f.i.v. 1 prolonged thdr misery
for liciiis. and I h.ul my audience o
uiviu-.ht up t luit no one breathed.
"I could hao battered In the skulls
rf my Minis ii:li the club or cut
off their heads with the a, but such
a death would have boon tint merciful.
After tautalUlng them to my heart's
content I carried the man out to the
soap kettle and held him In It, head
downward, until he censed to kick.
Then came the turn of her who had
been my wife. Heavens, how she
shrieked and prayed, how she run
around tlnv. room, how she cried out
to me that the man had hypnotised
her! I was grim grim as the death
that must soon be hers. She looked for
Just one flicker of mercy In my eyes,
but she looked in vuln. For an hour 1
made her taste the bitterness of death,
and then I reached out to seize her
and make soft sojtp of her, but heart
disease had cart led her off. She was
dead.
"'And I'm glad of It! shouted every
soul In the room as ho or she rose up.
Robbed House and Fled.
"Well, there wasn't much more to
toll them. 1 robbed the house and
tied far away and bad never even
I veil Mispeotod of the murders., I
asked Hiern to 1 o so kind as to remem
ber tliclr oaths, as 1 had n strange
prejudice against being bung, and then
let the fanner lock me Into the bam
for the nii.tit. Next day I was arrest
ed, of course. Kvery otto of them had
gene and given me away. Two con
stables came and loaded tne with
clialns? a.-d I was taken to the county
Jail. Warrants for murder were sworn
out and the legal authorities nt I'llot
Knob, Mo.. coimmitiicatiHl with. That's
where I had laid the scene of the
clime.
"Say, my friend. 1 was In e.uod six
weeks and during that time -b peo
ple ,-re admitted to gun,' Uoti the
I !.vd stained demon. HVportorj from
throe pipers interviewed me, and 1
(eld them sit different yarns. I re
ceived and entertained and confessed
to the di'Terent minister. No two
confessions were alike. Seven differ
ent d turs studied and examined me.
I wasn't g. lie; through with nil this
and living like a tramp, you know.
Yen bet 1 wasn't. 1 had the bridal
eh:"iber of the Jail, and 1 bad da In l lea
and belt im is to beat the band. It
was my harvest, and I made the most
of it.
"Of eniiise tiie Missouri officials
were bound to write back after duo
investigation that I was a liar, and
of course the time came when I was
turned out i f jail. There was general
lin!ig'.!:.!io;i that 1 was not a fiendish
murderer insiea.l of an Innocent man,
and s-it-.-e folks hinted at lynching.
The sheiiff fairly kicked me out of
the jail, and the only friend I had was
the farmer for whom i had started
grubbing stumps. He was waiting
f"r me nt his gate, and wheu I came
along be saluted me with:
" 't'oine right In and go to work
a.-nln, ami I'll make your board free
this time."
" T.tit I thought you'd be down on
me,' I m; Id.
"'Lands, no! A man that can lie
like you can ought to have $;0 a
month a:nl board to do nothing else!
Come In. Come in.' '
An Important Correction.
"What a beautiful figure young Mrs.
I'e Style has! And she has such a
flue carriage too!"
"Xo, ln; doesn't use a carriage now.
She's bought an nutomoblle." Balti
more Amerl' an.
Poor Old Dadl
"1 understand the bride's father was
overcome by his emotions."
"Yes. Ho could only titter a few fee
ble cln-cks." Washington Herald.
The Rigor of the Game.
Knb ker - Iioes he ent pie for break
fast? Horker-Xo. He eats breakfast for
pie. Xew York Sun.
Relaxation.
I always like the freakish verse,
The kind that runs (lown stairs,
Tiie kite! that eii-'h-H roiirid the puKO
Or does its turn in miuaren.
It's fun to "(! the poet's fitlirits
Helped by the typo men.
Jut two again,
the way runii up
tills ru'i nnd then
.lown hilt
I do not think that people ousht
To l-; the dame old ealt.
They oii'nt In hreak loose now and then
i ml keep n ri evening late.
A long ptralght line without a break
In had for verse or men,
iii hilt
this runs and tlinn
tho way runs clown
Juht nee again.
Boston Ibrali.
Mr. Hank IJoblln, who looked upon
himself us n gejieral remover of ob
noxious persons find who listed us un
der that bend, arrived In town three
days ago to remove us. He had come
'JO miles to do It, nnd luck should
have smiled on him. She didn't, how
ever. Wo Inippoiiod to be facing tho
door of our num-tum when Hank enter
ed, and we put n bullet through his
right arm ns be drew. When he bad
been bamJuged up by the doctor we
luil a talk Willi him und found him
quite entertjiinlng. llo cheerfully ad
mitii d Unit be had made u mistake re
garding us ami graciously accorded us
permission to live on.
The Crass Valley Tribune suspended
publication with last week's Issue. Iu
his valedictory the editor nays that ho
can't stand the kIi'ciiuoum life of the
west, but longs for Hie peace and har
mony of a chicken farm In Indiana.
Wo spent half a day with him when
he first arrived trying to make him
see the difference between the butt and
the muzzle of a gun, but It was no
use. Such men must fall by tho way
Bide lu western Journalism.
Llected to Represent Ou'pn
ut National Convention
'. H. BOYD EUC1ED AS HfLEUAU
Karal Letter Carticr u i
Ut. S. Y.
i
Oregon' rural letter otrri rJ ni.t
iu ftate convention at t.ivIif,,
July .T-31, and Washington coun
ty received an honored dudiociuui
iu the e'eolion of U . H w'dl '
Reavertou. as a taW delegate to
the National Aiwuibly to t h. Id
at Rochester, Stm York. Mr
Bovd haa bQ president of the
Oregon bnly the past yer, nd if
What She Hoped.
Miss Cayenne Why, I thought you
were to sail fur Europe yesterday.
Calloivlt That waH me aw Inten
tion, douchor know, but I nw changed
me mind nt the lawst moment.
Mi;;a Cayenne-Glad to bear it, and I
hope you got a better one in the ex
change. l'lttsburg I'OHt.
BEAVERTON JUS
IIIGIOI!
T t rm0TT ''J'''-""',r' n'C''i
fed I
a bright young man IU ha taken
a great iatereot in his work, iml if
considered one of ths bet auihor-
ities on roads and mail uiethodi in
the North? et. The ineelitijj at
Corvalli wan called to order bv
Hon. Virgil Waller, mayor, and
who, by the way, in an old line
llillfboro rpnb n. being a brother
ia law of W. V. Wiley.
As aahinaton county dm a any
rural route, it might lie of iuteiect
to know tint the Corvallis convon-
tion pasaed the following rendu
lions:
Resolved; Thai our delegate to Naliviu-
al Cotiveutiou urge drlrgatrt there to
adopt a resolution mmeiting Congtew
to place the Ruial service ou the Mine
basis as the City service, thereby ranting
our standard one point, and thsl the
rural -carriers be rrouued to lake tne
same examination as citv curriers;
That our Nations! AvkxuIioii p.vi
resolution urging Conviess to pais Um
giving Government inl in nuiulsiniiig
ronils UDon w hich turn! routes are estali-
lbhed.
Vacation
and
Camping Trips
Cnll for unit !" of wearing itpparrl need
ed for yourself tuul t l.iKlrcn. You haven't
time to innKt' thru.
FANDOM AND DUMDUM.
LADIKS
Wash Skins
I'luIcrrAius
Musliti Ulitletwrar
Rifc-foid s--.t'-'s
Sweaters
Waists
House tlrcsst s
Dusters '
Kimouas
CtllLDKKNb
Ko'.tljK ts
S'.'.tl U'tHi t.
Slltt it kt N
SatbU's
I'lh'.C! U tlsti
I'.lavk !',.. tm-jH
Mvsltll putt'
s juut.
Pl CSSCS.
MEN'S
Cotiluruy JUBU
CotiUttny shirti
Causa ".Imct
Sweater
PuMcrs
Straw Imu
iVrus Tudcuttr
Khaki I'.iiuu
IKKK
Full line d glovtl
BLAN1AKTS. COMFORTS. TICKING md TENT CANVASS
Don't forget the plat
$ for $ our motto
!,5IB3
Uetwrrn the UrujtJ Stores.
Old Home Run Moore got one clear lo
the feucr, Sunday, but it mat only koihI
for a twobK)(er.
Manager Moore can catch a little him
selfby the way, he surprised the natives
the way he back stopped the hall.
Robinson, the PurmiiiKton pitcher, wat
all to the good. The visitors bad a hard
tune to God hiui for hits to hurt.
Forest G'ove Colts and flanks play at
Banks next "Sunday, and there will I
some haw burning goiii( oa or elie the
guess is a bad one.
J. A. Thornburvh tells us tirivalelT
that while the Forest Grove Colli are
iS-csmt hue that the Hanks tenui can cut
a diamond like tbe most skilled lapidary.
They say that fn Charles Imdon went !
up to Forest Grove to ee the Hanks I
boys beat the (irove and that he went 1
home with a "muile" on the featuieaj
that once were so suiiburntd over iu the
Philippines.
Ranks at last has come into its own. '
The way the Hanks lads cleaned ut) For I
est Grove Sunday was a surprise to the'
tans at tne College City. Looks like;
Marry Cook was riKht when he said Hint
Carstens had the dope.
flanks still goes undefeated. WoruYr
if the Hillsboro "Married Men" will
have to take the starch out of them with
a good purse as in itiduceiueir siy
about 50 cents as the Ilillsboro end aril
frio as the Hanks end, of the contribu
tion.
It
The Nelson Hardware Co.
For Ranges Hint txcel, and Right Prices
t .. j il. m s. r
1
Harry II over. (I Lal'orta In !
(Jiana, in here, ihi guent of thfi
Milteribfirgr. to whom he in i
luted. Mr IIover lives, when at
home, within a half mile ol li
OunnPHS home, whre in 1007. wlv n
the brine burnid, 'h'rteen buliig
were found. The nkeletoriH had
ben d-cpila'.cd and the 1cb had
bhen cut i ff at the knet-g. The re-
nifiiriB hid bfien thrown into cunr.v
aacke and thrown into the cellar.
Tbe i flu tain were not sura that
Mib (IjnneHri had not pii h-d in
the (ltintB, but on thi other hnd
many tbere think thi It d after
burninf- the residence The woman
had adv-rtieed fir hunbin la nnd
it as mppoped that eae rob
bed the men alter ebe had killed
them, and that she had a confednr
a'e to aid her If nhe ie living no
one haa ever identified her.
Chria. V'ungen, of Helvetia, and
who ia now operating the condenner
for the Arnity company, came down
Monday morning, to ppend a fw
daya with his family. Thus ia hip
first vacation biccj be went up
there fifteen months ago, except for
a while lat Winter when the plant
waa cloaed because of milk short
age. Mr. Yungen waa formerly
with the Hilleboro condenaer be
fore it waa sold to the Pacific Coaat
people.
M, J. Kinney, who ona a large
acreage of timber landa in Wash.
inaton County, waa out Monday,
mixing with Hillaboro'a . business
men.
Chrintian Z jercher, of near Cedar
Mill, waa up Monday, getting eup-
I .:..: i i r
yuca i ji rwiBiug ma uuuae.
)
"i t'-LJi
yv,,
CJ it
u'
J
The Ufli
line of A
count
Harvest fc!
ami uly
that range
oud make J
Lii. hen I tK
r.mie in
us. UW'
the oP
qualities of
rnns. V
$1 per Vftt,
' J '"S
Il',; "tr.t ?T' $3 ,o $4-,or i i'Hj 0i
"y. piece of kitchen furn tun. u ....... i , . c. one.
v -'iu i uc iJCittcn, tome iu .
anging ffo.u 8 i to t C "
). Cum iron Moves. gooU bakers, selliag at on'y "
IM'J.SOX IlAin.Vii, ,s,v .,n.0B
1.
Wa ara (n tt... . . .
cleared and good ZZtlH
"h'ch we will pay caul, r i
pyoe mual be right A, ,1 KBy
3.8berlock Buildmg, PoJ;
u..n t T w'y.pMwl through
in rue,day. Mr. Kllii carried
th bun .ample, of the .oda com-
Ktoont
A H "
i aaf I