PAGE 4
- . 1 1 !i 1 r
BOVVSERANDTHE
RATS
He Believes Rcdents Have Been
Misunderstood.
STARTS AN INVESTIGATION.
Studio Nturl History Mr. BoMf
Interrupt Samuel's Research and
Mishap Terminatee Hit Werk.
Will Seek Revenge Later.
By M. QUAD.
ICopvrtiiht, Anwolalrf Utenry
THE Bowsor family bad fuls!sl
Jiimor and wore sottUn: 1
fur the fToiiiiiR wheu a Iih1
avtvaiu fnm the is1, fol
lowed ty bor apiH-arami? on the
nient stairs, caused Mr. Wowser to
81rliu; from his chair aud cry out:
-For hoarru's ake, what ha lmi
poiietl downstairs."
went down cellar after coal,
air." replM the fripUtemnl female.
-Well, did the coal bin soar jour
So. sir; 1 saw a M rat."
"And what did he dor
He koked at me. sir."
"Humph: lWt raise any mor ue
rows over a nit."
"It would have frlditeued me." said
Mrs. Wowser after the cook disap
peared. -That shows what a ninny you are.
A rat Is one f the most harmless ani
mals In the world. You have to pro
voke him to the limit to make him
bite you."
-Wut a rat Is a rat."
"Yes, and a womau Is a half Idiot.
Tou have known of rats since your
childhood. You have never been bit
ten. Xo rat has even menaced you.
and yet because he hapins to I
rat Instead of a rabbit you are his
enemy."
"Wut you'll find that nist orsons
think and feel as I do about It." she
said.
"That Is true, and It shows what lit
tle sense they have. A rat. Mrs. Bow
ser, can be made as preat a iet of as
a do. He cau be taught tricks. He
can 1 made a companion of. same aa
a canary bird. When he pets to un
derstand the human voice he will obey
A do or cat Is a Ui tsltl. a rat.
"Still eating and his confluence prow
Inc. He looks at me In a way thnt
mi be' wllltn to 1 friends If I am.
-1 can now rte from the chair, and
the rat remains undisturbed. Is there
any other antmal whose contlilciu- can
lie won so spwdlly! Works on nat
ural history outfit to mention this.
"I have been aoftly hummluit the air
of i'iw. Every action of the rat ex
press. pleasure. I am almost satis
fied that a rat ewtui n uuiriu u
warWe within a few day. If he cau.
think what a saving of bird travel:
'I hav Just xtvou utter no to sef
eral prifane words, and the rat has
retreated several feet and Is WWIiik at
ni reprchfully anothe plnt no!
made In natural history. Clergymen
are at liberty to us' this Incident from
the pnlplt If they wish. It should have
an Instant effect.
"I am hunnnlns the air of a hymn,
and the rat U almost at my fot and
looking tip at tne as If he felt emotion.
Can rats be Influenced to lead Wtter
llveaT If this one show emotion over
one hymn, what would he show at an
old fashioned camp meeting! 1 may
have struck a matter that the whole
world will soon be arguing about.
"1 have whistled a merry tune at the
rat, and he ha become more lively.
Is It possible that rats' temperament
are the same as In human belngsT Are
there downcast rats and vivacious
ratsr
Researches Abruptly End.
At this point Mrs. Wowser appeared
at the head of the cellar stairs and
called down to know how the rat nues-
tlon progressed. Mr. Wowser's rodout
fled at once, and he shouted up:
"IMdn't I tell you to keep quiet up
there! Your coming has soared the
rat away. Int appear again. I'm
getting some pointers that'll knock the
naturalists colder n a weilge.
"And lots of rheumatism!" she added
as she walked away.
For fifteen minutes Mr. Bowser hum
wed, whistled and swore, but without
bringing back the rat We all know
tuui for a man of patience, however,
and be hung right on. It was very
quiet down there, and after a bit he
began to nod. He roused up two or
three times, but the nods finally be
pmno a doi. Then of a sudden au
awful scream resounded through the
house. Mrs. Bowser started down
stairs and Mr. Wowser up. They met
In the dluing room. Five or six big
rats were clinging to htm, and bis face
was ghastly white and his eyes bang
lug out.
"Out of the back door!" screamed
Mrs. Bowser as she led the way.
In a minute more Mr. Bowser was
rolling over and over on tho grass.
This was more than the rats had bar
gained for. and they cut and rati. He
rose up and galloped twice around the
yard and then Mrs. Bowser caught
him and sternly said:
"You'Te gone out of the rat busl
ness! Come Into the house with mef
And It was all of half an hour later
before he could say to her:
"Woman, don't think I don't under
stand whose band Is In this business
and that I won't have my revenge at
a proier timer
d.. afternoon e sa the IhhIv of
.load man Heded to I'"'1' "T
lion Hill. We asked for no explana
tions. Some one thought he ought to
be hung and tunig him. and that all.
CASK CALLS:S "S
. ....... -n
milKS LU.II
ill
SITLU
Tom Barlow. shcrllT of this county,
has got to go. He lot two eowbo)
run him four mile the other day ami
uexer used bis gnu once, lie s.vs he
thought thev were chasing him on a
wager, but no auch excuse
Isfy
The editor of Ihe Fine Hill Banner
called us up by telephone uie mm-
day to remark that we were a baui
villa In and ougnt to in- imu
1. The fact that the Kicker has
.itmiati etivtilatlou makes Brother
Williams feel bad. We have trW to
love him. tut he Insist on being otllsh.
We dou't know whether to offer Mr
William Scott of this town our ajuipa-
thles or our congratulations. At any
i. i.u uif has run away and tie
never expect to set- her agalu. She
got to longing for the beer gardens
agalu and headed for St. l.ouls.
Wlitintf
.V ..A . alt
'Regular
lU-i-iui Wednesday,
t i it
v.111 aal Will C0MtM'
aU "I
U,cl la il I'aWc S''
Huililiat
Supt.
notice
nam : nation,
Hillrboro, al
Workmen began refurnishing tne
Hcllso Opera House last Monday, and
up to date they have taken from the
walls and celling bullets, imw
llred by the admiring and el
utierant audleu.va during the winter
season. Our people are a llttte skit
tlsh, but they mean well.
Our esteemed contemiorary ay In
his last Issue that we have sought to
humiliate him. He prolwbly refer to
the Incident of last week. He had
threatened to shoot us on sight. Meet
ng him on Aehe avenue. we took
our stand against a wall fifteen feel
"UAUK II I M PLCtl AWAT."
ff and luide liiin plug away, lie Dred
six hhota aud then quit. The nearest
bullet did not come within a foot of
us. oil. uo-we did not set out to
humiliate ulm. We simply wanted to
:lve 1 1 m a fair show.
'BAT IS KOW bKTOCBlNU THK CBUMBS,
A Changed Condition.
"It Is nearly six month now since I
have tasted meat"
"On a diet, ehr
"Yes."
"Have you noticed any change In
your condition?'
"I should say I have. I've been able
to pay up nearly all my old debts. In
another month I'll be absolutely lade-
pendent" Chicago Record- Herald.
Art' Diicouragomonts.
"Why do so many theaters close In
the summer tlmeT
"Because," answered the burlesque
manager, "people can't be exicted to
take much Interest lu comic opera cos
tumes during tm seaside bathing dis
playsWashington Star.
orders. The trouble with the rat la
that we have not sought to elevate
him. We have gone right along call
ing him a rat, looking upon bini as a
rat and knocking his head off as a rat.
Suppose we start In to use him as
poodle dogs are used?'
"If there is a rat down cellar I hope
you will set a trap for blm at once."
"Then your hoie will be blasted. I
don't propose to pitch into a rat and
take his life Just because he bupiens
to make a friendly call on the cellar.
If the cook knew beans when she saw
them she would have stopped and
studied the rodent site saw and learn
ed something of natural history."
"Perhajw you are going down to
study hlmr
"That's ftst what I am going to
do," replied Mr. Bowser, though a sec
ond before he hadn't the remotest Idea
of It. He had taken the rat's side
through obstinacy. "Yes, I have long
desired an opportunity to study the
rat from the point of the naturalist,
and here It Is. If he hasn't gone I
shall get some notes to add to natu
ral history. For instance, I do not
know and I do not believe that one
person in ten thousand knows bow
many toes a rat has. I do not know
whether be stands up or lies down to
sleep. I do not know whether be can
hang by his tail or not. I do not know
what effect a kindly human voice may
have on him."
8tudiet Natural Hiitory.
"And you'll go down cellar and study
him!" exclaimed Mrs. Bowser with
considerable contempt in her tones.
"I will, madam. I am going now. I
shall tell the cook to keep as quiet as
possible, aud I want you to do the
same. If that old yaller eyed cat
cames sneaking down I'll brain her
with the shovel r
In the dining room be stopped for
bread and cheese, and, having descend
ed to the cellar, he turned on the gas
and looked for the cook's rat. lie was
there. He had found the place com-
fortable and had decided to take pos
session for the summer. If the cook
bad thrown a bucket of coal at blm
instead of running away he would
have reasoned Unit the family were
"agin" him and gone farther to find a
summer boarding place. He dlsap-
rwArpri iimrmf ttiu blfiHittiv iviuiA at
Bight of Mr. Bowser. This gave the SQUARE DEAL FOR EVERY ONE
student, of natural history time to
Doesn't Yet.
Brown Yes. I'm acquainted with
your wife, old man. I knew her before
you married her.
Smith Ah. that's where yoa had the
advantage of me I didn't! New York
Life.
But No More.
Sbe-I think Professor Faddy'a views
are sound. Don't you, my dear?
He Oh. yes; all sound. Baltimore
American.
Adonl da Barber.
Oh. yaas. I Ilka playnU wal
My beeslnesi, aldough
Some time he ain't o pretta good
An' soma time pretta. slow.
I Ilka 'Mericana man.
He loka me. you bat.
An' tome time wanta shave too queeck
An' sail me upaat
Some time he gatta gay weeth me
An' inreenif you calla "Dull.
He tweeet bees face an' ay: "Oh, geet
You hava beega pull.
Why don't you sand you' razor to
Da blackaameethr' he ay.
But I don't gatta mad weetn heera.
He have such gooda way.
I Ilka have heem pretta waj
Excep' ome time maybe
He eata. da onion too much
An' some time cnoka ma,
An' dan he joka me some more,
Know playnta wal he can.
He aay, "Tou tana by my br'ath
lull atronga man!"
Boston Globe.
Since our Incumlieucy a postmaster
we have bought at our owu eieue
aud set up In the ptistolllce corridor uo
less than three public clocks. These
have been shot to pieces by hilarious
Individuals. Tomorrow our fourth
dock will be hung to the null, aud we
give notice right here and now that
'he man who can shoot at It aud not
get shot at In return has our Tuils-
slon to bang away. We shau t ulm to
kill blm, but to compel hi in tu take life
more seriously.
We received notice last Tuesday
morning that Barm's & Fletcher, the
Arm of shyster lawyers, had tlve libel
suits ready to file against us. We
buckled on a gun aud called uion the
firm, aud within teu minute the pa
pers had been torn up. How those
eastern editors let such things bother
'em, when they are so easily disposed
of In the bud, we can't make out.
t th, leaJisr.' l
which ouue i
the puttie l
... i .. i.,..,i.i
..nil.ling. Oil J.
U auJ continue until HlofJJ.
indusiva, tl lb T.tik
nd applicant mar writ for t..h
county and iUI 1M- A
rula the Auguxt claw U nut
iatgon. bul thi year it may
n exception WahintonCouM)
n baa UK) district, j ut and .11
and ach year Miuire mora tach
r. Tha lit of lapn and 'h
daTaet for f lamination, follow..
kok srua rum
WrdurxUv, Augud tl
V VUI'M ' .... I
alu o'clock ni , aim f""'"", "'
Saturday, August U. i". 4
P"We.tne.Uv IVmuan-.luo. Ilulf).
Spelling. I'liyual f.cogipliv. Kradiog.
I'svchology. ..
thurhUy-WriltrB Arithmrtic. U'fo
ty of Trciiing, f.iammsi. lUikcrping.
l'bvic, Civil i;ovrnmut.
F.uUv- l'lniolegv, t;riphy. I om
poeition. A'.ibi. i;nglih Uc.alm.
School La.
SatunUy- Uotany, Plane l.'airry.
Orueral llnto.y.
ya cot sTV i,Ai'i;'i
VrdtirlV. Aviut II.
..'..'. ..W . in ami coiltUIUIHif Ulltll
tiii.ua i . at l o clock . ui
vlnrlv l'ciiuitiliip. Ililny.
Otthography, Kcs.liug, 1'hviual t"g
ffatllh V
Tliurnday-Wiittni ArUltmrtic.Tho'iy
ot TcacUinit. I'.ramuiar. I'hynoloy.
Friday tlrograpbv. School law, t'lvil
Government. liogliH I.itrralurr.
REAL tiiTATi TRN5FBH3
L M Hovt ft ux to Fuim Youi g,
lot 7 t'lriuon aulwlivltioa o( K
Williams d I C -
Margaret Patterson to M NUhutK-jr.
part ofS Richar.laou d 1 C I J I lo)o
Alice L Morton to Title St Trut Co,
part of arc Ilia 5
U J GotTct u to Victor Pu.pi. lrt
of b k XJ Porent Grove j
It C Soii'h rl u to Ailclt Siaipaou.
part of blk li Foreat tirovr u.o
Annie llullock to J W Wc, I acre
in tec J t l n 4
Tho Sprncer tt al to Sruh ('.!
breath et al. Dit of et it I i l.
J W Maatcrict ui lot! V Bumtur
ant, 40 a lu Gro 11 Smith A I c I I
'
I) N Morris rl at to II I, Utn, pail
of bik 10 Naytorsadl t C.nne ... lo
Ludrui Andrrson to tiro K lUglry
ITnutrt) part blk 19 Hd'nUiio. .iooo
Priedrick l.epicbat tl un to K P
Brandaw, in Jco' lluovrr
d I c t 1 d 3
Jno British rl at to Juo Mcrtoky,
lot 4 arc l.H t 3 n 4
Geo ItoUlnck rt ux to 1! N I'rufirUl
t ni, part blk 3 aylors Ada V tiifcoo
L R Kerbracbe rt ux to I' I, I'aluirr,
part of sre I 3 n 3 1000
Oregon Nursrry Colo Henry Kuitch-
mann, lots 5 and 6 blk 10 Uirnco
Townsile loo
Iv M Tongue to II A liuljlwrt, lot 6
blk II ltiilslioro 700
J W Shute rt at to tl 0 Frost, 160 a
in arc ) t I n 3 4000
John Horgrust-n to Kuiuia Cheney.
Irt of arc w t 1 n 4 -INx)
FANDOM AND DUMDUM.
5
New Tariff Schedule.
In reply to nn eastern subscriber we
would say tliut the new tariff schedule
neither helps nor hurts Glveadam
Gulch. With sixty four saloon run
ning night and day and wolf steak to
be bad at 5 cents a pound, this town
feels quite Ihdeiiide!it of the rest of
the United States.
MOORE t HOOVER
awencf Jfe Ma Marker
fresh and Ourod Meats
ALWAYS IN STOCK
Smoond Street, HUHboro, Of
LIVELY KICKER ITEMS
Arizona's Big Man Writes In His
, Usual Breezy Style.
W If I
t t
sweep a clear space on the cellar bot-
trnn. eat-inK his crumbs and draw
np a box to sit on. He bad been read
ten minutes when the rodent appear
ed. Mr. Bowser hadn't brought pencil
and paper, but be made some mental
notes, as follows:
"Home slight hesitation on the part
of the rat, but as I smiled he came
forward. I am probably the only hu
man being that ever smiled at a rat
aud the only one to observe the Im
mediate effect.
"But is now devouring the crumbs.
Seems to bare the utmost confidence
In me. .
"I uttered a cough, and the rat shied
off.Xjjailled a smlle and he returned.
What Happened to a Contemporary
Who Fired Six Shot and The 'Quit.
Cause of Rush of Boarder jto th
Royal Hotel. 1
Copyright,
By M. QUAD.
1S09, by Associated Literary
Press.
IM SPOKES and bla gun arrived
at Glveadam Uulch on Wednes
day morning last, and before
noon be bad two bullet In him
and the gun was nowhere. lie will
live, but be will hay leaa nliarny
about blm.
J
Coning back from Lone TreeThurs-
RAISPD ON BREAD
baked at this bakery is all the rec
ommendation joi r child needs. If it
has a daily acquaintance with
BREAD WE MAKE
there wont be much need of a doc
tor. Our bread is toothsome. Chil
dren can't stop eating it, Moral
Double your order and you'll all keep
well.
CITY BAKERY.
OREGON ELECTRIC TIME
No. 3
" 34
I.RAVK9 FOR
PORTLAND
.,6:55 a. m
..8:40 '
36...IOI30 "
38...u:35 p. m.
40 i:oo "
4--3:40 "
44 4:30 " .
46 .715 "
48,..io5 "
ARRIVRS FROM
. FOVTI.AND
No.
31 7:40 a. ni
33.. ..9-:5 "
11:05 "
.1:10 p in.
. 3:10 "
4:30 "
,.6:30 "
9:ao "
12:10 a. m.
35-,37-39-4t..
43-45-47.
That Banks haiehal! train is still the
leading champion of tlirin all in Wh
ington County, having sullrrrr) no ilrfrat
thl Season i'ao arr snxious now to
see them take on a serirs Willi the Cults.
The game Sunday at HilUWo should
be a good one. The North Ysmhills
were only beaten 4 to J by the Colts last
Sunday and of courw Yimbill claim
I that things broke against tucm.
The line-up in this iue shows that
Wilson was khortstop in SiiDily's gatuc
at Banks, ilus was an error, ax hr play
ed ann bate,
ine larninal piichrr is a giKxl onr
but somehow he was olf form. He I
pitched some great games against thr
Jolts a ytar or so ago.
If the Cardinals could only hook tin
for a series of three games with thr
Colts it would a Id to the gaiety of na
tions.
It might have been a pious idea to
pitch Robinson, the O. A. C. twirli-r, as
be seem to nave the proper oonr.
Fielder Tom Williiims should be home
In time for the Sunday game, hk he
started from Netarts the first of the wrrk.
Three scores in a no hit inning is going
some, rut mat la what was done at
Banks, Sunday,
Catcher J'helps was in the box Sunday.
even 11 ne nan oeen iick lor lew duy
COUNTY COURT
The county court, Judge Goodie
and Comminaioners ttutntr and
McLlaran, met here Haturdav and
o ik up iLe matter of tbe Cedar
Mill rock cruehinfr. A warrant for
800 waa drawn J. U. J Iain line,
for cruehing and hauling, and th
work ha been ruapended Thin
gives that section three mile of
rockr road, running from near th
Owen Murray place, thin aide of
Ledar Mill, clear throtieh lo the
count? line, on what ia known a
the Cornell road, excepting about
300 feet near the old Cedar Mill
ile.
J. K Kerehaw, who decorated th
circuit court room and painted and
varnished the woodwork in the
oourt house, was granted a war
rant in the sum of 1 80.
1
Ti
Vacation
and
Camping Trip
tll t.ir- arllrltK fit Wi-orlmi ....... .
Vis " ' '"f, 'M'HOrtl rifji'
rd (or yourself ontl t Kildtt n. You
me lo nxmWv llrm.
LADIES'
Wash Skirts
rmlcrkrt.
Musliu unJcrwcar
lUrc-liH't sautluU
Sweater
W.iiU
House dres-.es
Dusters
Ki111.1U.1s
CIIILDKKN S
UUllHl!4
Sun ImiuiuK ,
Sun ltut
SttkUls
Uiulcr w. lists
UUck Maimers
Mvsliu jutiu
lUy uuU.
Dresscn,
K
Cordarw
CurJ
Cansii 1,
Slut u
Kbki f
DLANIAtTS, COMFORtS. TICKING nnd TLM
Don't Cornet the phu r
$ for $ our motto
MIES
Between tho Drutf Stores.
The Nelson Hardwaii
Sunday August 1
will b th first day of the ope
lesion for hilling deer ibuchi
only.) Several hunting 9d
have been outfitinrf tt the
Nelson Hurdware Co.
STORK
The last few days, where iHtf
can find anything required.
this firm has Just received
most complete line of
Guns and Ammuni'
tions
Ever brought to Washing
County. Parties coming mf9
the hills report deer very pln"'
ful notwithstanding the he
snows of last winter.
Nelson Hardware Co
Has hftfl nrintid for the ben1'
of their many patrons the Oj"J
Laws as amended for rf '
,ut-i .1 hi i. .. nlsed v
".iiv-n inry win w r"'
present for the ashing.
The Dan of Sheets special is a
winner. Try it once and see. 18 0
I IAlll ) W AUK CO.,
m
Kough and dressed lutnbr. cell
Ing, rustic, Herring, all kinds of
finishing lumber. If ordar Is bin
enotigh for load, will dell.r.-Pe'er
HonuQan,BacoDa,Or. Correspond
ence answered; estimate! on build
lD 18-20
K, A Wolf, of Kaedvllle, IJ.
who was Instrumental In getting
DUmUr of pairs ot song bird"
porUJ Into the Beaverton-R""
tille seotlon, several jn H0;"??
in town Tuesday, greeting
sequent." '
i
u'