PAGE 4
HIUSBORO APu'-US 'v I
BOWSER WES ODE
He Delivers a Corker at the Gay
Old Boys' Club.
WAS AGAINST WIFE'S WISHES
But Samuel Would Hav Hit Way
About th Matter, and After Hit Visit
to the Meeting He Arrivoa Home In
Joyful Mood.
By M. QUAD.
l-"opyrlht, mi, by Associated Literary
I'ress.J
MT dinnor the other evening Mrs.
m Howtur noticed that Mr. R. w
JCT wr was very much prvocfui ied
and that he also aixirtd to
be In a hurry to pot through with ilie
meal. She )rossiHil away for a quaiter
or au hour and thoti suddenly asked:
"Has anything unusual hapix-ned at
the office today?"
Xothitig," he replied.
, "Aren't you feeling as well as usu
al?" "Just the same."
"But you seem to he preoccupied."
"Yes, I am. I pot a letter at noon
from the Gay Old Boys" club that I
would be exited to deliver au ode on
Coluuibus at the anniversary dinner
mis evening, it has bothered me some
to write au ode on such short notice,
but I guess I ve got It all O. K."
"And so you are going to the din
ner r
"Of course."
"I wish you wouldn't The last ttme
you went two nieu had to come home
with you. and 1 found you seated on
the doorsteps at 2 o'clock iu the morn
ing." "Woman, do you know what your
words Imply?" demanded Mr. Bowser
s he suddenly woke up.
"You were were tired. I supKse."
"It is well that you put it that way.
No living man or woman rau say that
they ever saw me Intoxicated, it had
boen a strenuous night, and as 1 have
to" the Gar 0!a Uals' club an.l rea.i
n ode 1 wouldn't look at you that
way.
"So you read your ode. did vou!"
"I did and made the hit of the eren-
m. Hig hit Awful hit. Most awful
hit you erer heard of. The applause
was simply tremendous. Oh. If you
naa only been there to hear"'
"And what has become of the manu
script r
"tlot it right here." he rer.ll.y1 ho
iegaa reeling In his vest Dockets.
I haven t. The secrets rr nantl
It to send to Historical a,v...ir iw
ode on Columbus ever delivered hv
mortal man. Want to lav It tin 'mitnir
atvnive. Mrs. Bowser, whr can von
stand still a minute Instead of whirl
in' round?"
I am standing still: It's votir he.!
that's whirling. Oh. the shame of Itr
" nat -bom shame. Mrs. How-wr
Can t feller deliver an ode on Colum
bus without tn'lng shamed? Course
ne can. Oh. but vou orter !en th.r.
l ou orter heard the annlause' Yon nr.
ter heard what they said 'bout met
ioua been proudest woman In Amer
ica.
It Brought House Down.
"What was the ode?" she asked as
his eyes began to close.
"What was Vr ode? Why It m
ode to Columbus. It praised him for
discovering the pyramids, you know.
les, sir. set rtcht out and tulle.!
sailed and sailed till he discovered the
pyramids. Then be weut ashore aud
said to era, Tyramlds, you are the
real stuir come here' And Vr nvn
raids come. That'a what brought
aowu er house."
"And I don't wonder at It I feared
some such blunder on your part, and
mat a why i wanted you to rea.l the
ode to me before you started. It's no
wonder the members ruved von
"Guy me? Not a gny.Mrs. Bowser!
just laughed aud applauded. Just
saiu my ole was best ever written
Just said Bowser took 'er cake. Yon
are proud of me, hain't you? Course
you are proud of me. If you had writ
ten mat ode I would lie nroud of .
"Don't ask me to feel proud of a
husband In your condition. It will
probably be In the miners, and I won't
dare show my head outside the house
for a week. Mr. Bowser, how could
you uow could your
"How could I write ode on Colum
bus? Why. lust as easv as crease
Gimme encil aud I'll write 'nother.
i ii write one 'bout Columbus crossiu
er Ahw."
"And bow can I get you upstairs?
i a nave to have the bem of the rook
"Xo. you wou't. I can walk right
up. snee: rn go ahead and"
And he sank down on the flonr
groaned and grunted two or three
time and then began to snore The
best Mrs. Bowser could do was to
fetch a quilt and pillow and leave him
mere. He had written and delivered
an ode. and It was a corker.
y
mm
f polo i
"A TOICK WAS BI.NUISO AT THE GATS."
rheumatista a couple of gentlemen
walked home with me to see that my
,e3 did not give out I was simply
resting for a moment before coming In
when you came down to the door ami
made a great fuss. Mrs. Bowser, when
Samuel Bowser Is not able to take care
of himself he will send for you."
"And you have written an ode?"
: "Didn't 1 say that I had?"
J i "And it Is on Columbus V
, ; "Didn't I say it was?'
S "And you are going to deliver it at
the dinner?"
"Certainly I am. Do I writ iM
ou Columbus or any other man to
: throw In the wastebasket? Please
don't take me for an idiot."
"And you will read me the ode be
s fore you go?" persisted .Mrs. Bowser.
"No, ma'am. I won't nor ii
...... w
. It lou would simply end fault with
, it and try to show yoUr superiority
over me. The ode suits me and will
suit the club, and that's enough. I
don't want to be all unset bv vonr crfr.
fclsms. When I get mad my voice
gets husky, and I want It in good trim
tonight."
T Mrs' Bowser no more on the
subject until he was about ready to
leave the house. Then, as she saw the
r roll of manuscript In his hand, she
asked:
"Couldn't you read me the first
, yerse? You know an ode Is not a
poem."
"Not a line will I read. When Sam-
uel Bowser does not know aD ode from
poem he wants some one to soak bis
t head."
"Is It about Columbus discovering
t America, or what?"
Advised to Go to Bed.
"Never you mind. Vou go to bed at
; the usual hour and don't worry about
me or Columbus."
With that he was off. Mrs. Bowser
sat up until 10 o'clock and then went
: to bed. She was awakened two hours
I after midnight by a voice singing at
" the gate. It was a voice trving to sing
the "Sweet By and By" and "You
Can't Shake Me, Charlie," to one and
ine same air. She leaped out of bed
; and started downstairs, but before
she reached the door It was being
kicked and shaken, and the same voice
was shouting:
Lemme In, ole gal lemme in!"
it was Mr. Bowser. He stood there
. uuuess ana Dad bis coat on his arm.
"Warm night uiicblv wnrm r,irM-
be said as she reached out and pulled
sum wio we nan just as a policeman
was coming aloutr.
Mr. Bowser was escorted to the sit
ting room and deposited In a chair,
and then Mrs. Bowser stood before
THE GIRL AND THE GAME.
WE took her to the hall a.m.
MM when ,hey ha1 round their place
" Biiuwea ner where the players
Stood unit ti .M aK.. i
- .uvm UIV LWB
vltn patient care he showed her that the
umpire ma noc play.
Explaining that on every point he hsd
me unai say.
He pointed out the benches where the ri
val piavers sat
Ar.d mads It clear that dub" Is not the
mame wing as a bat
She thanked him prettily and said she
""uui uiai ii was splendid
To have the chance to see a game and be
i eu aueruien.
And when ho carefully set forth the
pan ana aim
Khe thanked him once sgaln snd said that
she was rlsd nh oam
He told her why the man was out and
showed her bow a fly
When caught before It struck the ground
ouia mane mm out and why.
Ho did not give her any chance to ask a
question.
He analysed the game for her without the
least suggestion.
With finger pointed at the men he showed
uuw ii was aone:
Shewed how tLe coacher signaled to the
men to stay or run,
And while with cheers the very air above
the field was Jarred
Ho showed her how to mark the run upon
the little card.
She smiled a gentle smile and said she
wished she had his knowledge.
That she bad tried to play the game one
j ecu aw oniaAsar couege.
He grinned In pity, then he told in meas
ured terms and slow
The inner motives of the game as then
iiu mere on snow.
Then came the ninth; the score was tied
tWO OUL thA ha Utta nil
And every rooter In the stand exerting
A long, clean hit to. center-and a tumult
vii iiib Dieacners
With men In wildest voices Bhoutlng like
tieniures.
And she-oh, she was on her feet and yell
in? &II lh ,hll. '
In accents that you could have heard, I'm
mr nair a mile!
"On, run, ice wagons! Run. run. run!'
Her tnnpH vore, BhfMi n.i
. - "". ttllU IUUU
And soared above the roaring and the
iciug oi uie crowd.
..
He never said a word as they walked
homeward from the game,
But for a week or so the world was not
i nun me same.
-Wilbur D. Nesbit In Chicago Post.
RENOWN
Steel Ranges
The largest part of
woman's duties are ivr-
fonned iu the kitchen. If
this room is well appoint
ed her work becomes a
source of enioviuent.
The selection of aright
rauge is au all important
point. A Steel Range
will complete the arrange
ments of an other wise
"uc-to-date" kitchen, and
tie a ct nifort aud a joy to
tne user.
"Something Different
and Something Better.
is our claim. That Re
nown Steel Ranges have
all the features of other
ranges is easilv Droven.
These special features
are too numerous to be a
mentioned.
Let us explain nil the
merit joints of Renown
steel Ranges to you. We
will be glad to see you at
any time. Ask about our
4
excliauge plans.
. h.(il h
New Schedule Went Into I I
Uct Sun J. iv
is sriExmo mhikhw m1 k i : f
Ctra Ucpait Eiilun inJ KciunLctN
1 tirade Sen if j 1 1
Tha Orciron Kln'trio' ne liuir
lsl!s went int.i i ll'.H't Jlllv 1 lb
rvhedulri of nini trains d;lT,
each waj. The tium fiu'h thai
Hilisboro ami Forest tl.'ove pwiilr
can leave afler mpper ami alt nd
theatre in Portland am return
home about miJniht . It is not
mprohab'e, however, thsl No. IV
s.nl is will not loni! l' on Ihr
schedule. Th ue tim table i:1
h
mil
n
tPAVKS Kit
IVKTI.Nl
No. j b -y a. in.
.M !4o '
" Ih.loiio "
4o..,l IH1 '
" 4 . -.V4" "
4A...4 .1" "
" 4.S...toM5 "
A K K 1 rlii'M
No - 4o ti m
" ,vt. . y 3S "
' .JJ...U 05 '
" ,;.. 1 io hi
" w .1 10
" 41 4 i "
" 4.t t (" "
" 4.S ...9 Jo "
" 4;. ..14. 10 a in
No. 34 and No. 42 niak cl e
conntction at liarilen Home tor
salem.
CATHERINE U . REYNOLD
MOORE A HOOVER
Mnmml n.J aval .
Fresh and Cured Meats
ALWAYS IX STOCK
MMkmi
Soooiid Street, Hllltboro, Of
GOOD DIGESTION, GOOD HEUTH.
him and looked at him for a moment
Deiore asking:
i "Mr. Bowser, what's the matter with
, ...... 4ft .
. UUf
xvotnin', dear-notbln' 'tall. 1 just
, i uuiue irora tne uay Old Boys'
club, you see."
"Yes, I see! I thought It would be
thto way. Nice thing in a man of your
age! All the neighbors must have
beard you bawling at the gate and
kicking- at the door."
"Nobody heard me 'tall. Came home
as quiet as a mouse. Don't look at
lue that way, Mr. Bowser. It hain't
flebtHt Jalu'i j-ltjbt. If you had gone
Helping Him Alonn.
"See here." said Kiunk to th. .11 a
uuuiunsi 01 tne village weekly, "what
do you mean bv unin17 mv ,.omL
- n J uuiAji; 00 Ul-
ten In connection with your Jokes-
etc r says that
Sly dear boy replied the party of
the funny part, "I do that because it
attracts attention. Nearly all our read
ers snow you, and when they read
those Jokes they Invariably say, 'Well
that's certainly a brilliant remark-for
umus.. misDurg I'ost
Willina to HU
"Mlstah," whined the beggar, "I
uow 1. uave Deen a bad man, but I
wnut 10 won out tne past. Won't you
help me?"
"Sure." resnonilprl tha r,mll tv.
. - v .1 1 vi lire
big Insurance company, with a Jubilant
ui..c. iUU are tne very man we are
looking for. Here's hintioi. t 1. .
dull day Indeed when an insurance
uumuy aoesn t give out a blotter."
Chlcago News.
Tha Natural Locality.
"I was reudlne
. , ouuiB Bail
ors who raised chickens on their voy.
age, for and bv
and profit I shouldn't think a vessel
had auv convenient r,in ., .
chickens." F 1W rumag
'Couldn't hava a Wto. m. ..
Junes ma
hatchway ."-Baltimore American.
Our bread rnntaina all it,A 1
qualities found in wheat. It satisfies
uuuKersna mrnniies all the nutri
ment needed. If ia n.,U l. .1.
- - ... u.a'iv MIIIICI mr
Det sanitary conilitions and of the
i-rsi maiertais in nutlcet alfurdi.
V ou will find nnr l.t,.,l i ii .11
browned, crispy,
RIGHT SORT OP LOAF
It attracts the eye because of its
readv-to-eat
excellent t-xatiinle of what the real
STAFF OF LIFF,
means in bread.
CITY BAUER Y.
Vfr. Catherin It R-viioUh. well
known in II -.lUhorn. and w)t rn.
iided hfr (or many vcarti, difd at
the hom nf hur datightKr Mr H'
phronia llirklin, I.-nt, Or.. Jul
i., anu intrrnient waxinth Hill
boro eunetery, Saturday Sh pa-
The10,(XXJ b ind ixsue for Dig
trict No. 7. Uilltiboro, tloatwl for
the purpose of building tbe annei,
now under conatrnptirin )u3 t.J
, w HIT 1 1
approved and Jag H. Adams k
oo.. oi ,m Angela, will coma f ir
ward with the money, a indicated
by a wire to the attnrnnir f.. it.
school district. H T R
iay. The company had up a ter.
titied check for ISOO til itiailtaa n.tr,,
nth and when they tried to crawl
out a telegram was Bent notifying
of the f .rfeiture in cage of refusal
Ih g brought the invea ing com
pany to its serines and they wired
UM ID "nougnsii" would be on
hand lugtanter. The bnnrli
"HMO PUill
at a premium of 147-1.
Gone to His Reward
ed away from a gtn.k of linn v.td
She was born in Knoxville, Tenn ,
October 14. 1S3I1 nd VHW Iks,
daughter of Jacob and Mary Ram
say Lemon. Hhe martini James
B. Southworth. June i:i l.HAa ..i
croostd tbe plains io iSM, m ttliog
in Hilleboro. K roil asr..B..
B"' vhuuh ii wrrif
boro to the union, four of whom
aurwe: Mrs. M P. Cantwell and
Mrg. 8 W. Hicklin, Lent, Ore I
a-ire. caian amey, Portland, and
p n l ft . .
. ouuiuwurin, niamatti FbIIh
be husband died in (M;i..,:.
from tuberculosa. U Dhp.,,,!,.,
805, she married Henrv Hmiii. -'
,, , . .....4I
wen mown pioneer of 11 Ha'x r
One child was born to them, Mr
Jennie Oleen, wife of Fred ();n
at present the crrir on R. uie -1
Hillsboro. and well k
Interient wag in the Masonic
cemetery, July 17, Rev. lielkmp
iiiiutniiug
For manv veara Nfrs i!.,-i.i
carfd for her mother, Mary Ram
.an W..i-.,1 U.. .1:. 1 r n .
j awiuimi m iniiHiioria
year ago last Jai ury, at the ml
vanueo HgH oi l U yftrH, and h
ha- a world-wide
oiueBi oaucaoian woimn on record
at the lime.
FANDOM AND DUMDUM.
AIRDS
argains
CliiKlri'u's u ash suits fA' ti ?.'
Cliililifii's rotujH'ts U.V t fA
( I iris di esses, w h itc Kiiiitnl, rlc tip
ll.ns' vaits " " tip
Cliililrcti's hose K' jh I j.ur
CluKIrcti's sKimIcss cnH l(K'
" tmisliii ih.iuei-. L'lc
" MuitKuuicts l!lc
I.-l'ltrs wllitf W.ti..s
uo(
I.uuy u.tists . Jjj
iolulnl u.lsl, 4,ttA . a.
ii ii i . ,
1'i.uk nmli.tu skins . g
l-uiv y viil tlu-ss " . jjjj
s:Ulli ttituM i!r
Men's iiulihy tnnUttuy J'.utt- ?J..tl
" gl"l woik j.uils
" (at icy tielic shifts
" silk-StfijK- lU'i;'ii.'kr "
" fancy liht c,u!i
lij;ht wht ttuinti sititi $
" ruiu-ikuil " " $1
uiiiL hu ii -
1HV II !
r.!c
$ I (HI uj.
C .t!
'.I K-
Melt's JShkI V.i k s,
I'-.u'
I'-Mciil liatlur i.xUJ. .
M-v4 . J.atctit (..idt, j,, y.
ar a i . . . s
I.n.lKS Vtilltc J.tllllj.s . H
lait
Il.f inis' J.IIIiij.s, n (.,, iaa,lllf.'J
t.tll and patent, !I d
$ for $ our motto I "
Briwcrn tlw Ihurt Stores.
The Nelson Hardware Co
For Ranges that Excel, and Right PricJ
He was a child of Jove
And gentleness,
Like sunshine fiom above,
He neyer grieved a soul;
Nor e'er did wrong;
Nor e'er a melon stole.
Of promise bright, and pure:
And truthful, too;
He always would endure
The slights of all the school:
One day he died
Kicked skyward by a mule.
Miss Martha
"""u"t ui noar
uenomooee Fall. Wis u:.
a. L rt .. . ' "u WI1BB
oarao uonnen, oi near WaukeBha
that state' famous 8ummer resort'
were here thia wk onaat r.t .u!
Connella and Dr. Wood and wife
to whom they are cousins. They
returned to Portland ,.'
where they will visit with Richard
Connell and other rfilmloaa ...i
then return home via Seattle. Miss
Martha Connell is yioe president In
her tOWn'e local hank- ..-:-
-- , -i -"a uarriog
on extended business enterprises.
Now they're prtlinu .l,w ... i .......
what is the ui ilter. m,. .. ;,i
county league next ,er. There j mmt
.-....- on m local plavinK, all Uie
county is biir ennnuli il. ....... 7...
f,r ,,, " , ?. uuee or
wan icains in nue sliai,
Cornelius laa ftiiinfil. i.,i..... .... i .
mt the game e,t esor,-ai,d if th. y
Wll fillnil.. n.l ..... 1 . . . 11 7
' -" K-'i owii io On. hum,
mey will make u ,,i , . ..
i.ih ., t...... I,,r "
v Hoy Cook, old-timi- !,!! i
popular uninire. is u, t.lai ,i,'.i... .
est drove Colt.H the n-at of the neason,
Oelter, catcher for the Cnli. ,!...
winning nenriy ) . tj . -
illHill .1... r . "na
b;. J; . ,B., "sK?. ''"'" y
them. ytf,r wi"'
''!! .v-!,i .Pifl-r. and
i" ncur Kuy, t one nf Hi
"coti.erH" on the mount.
Anton Ilermen. uilin i;l., .t
an7l a ' 1 " lllC hi i Ilk-
S1UL1JII Iff H ffitiM Inui.r if l. 1
make good. : "wm t
Phelps caught a great game Kundnv
ind he was very ill.
Wick Williimia u.ill l. :.. .... , .
. "i ne oi the
big leavueg next vr iri. ...in i ..
ar..,insi,HI.,hei;ah,,;;.efu;ei:,m'1
The Maronna lia.1 n i -.
i , . ' wcrc ' ow for tl
Cardinals, however.
Little Ilntrllolo.. .r ..
sundav. hi-: ":r: . " ,Me
consider ,rr-J""-" oomermg h,m
ii - ozfW
WW
I - -I m
.tv .''.,. ; '
V. All i.. w.
Mrs. M.K. Shannon, of Emmett.
arrived tbe jast of the week
AM oi. r . ' tt ran
8,hewfiotwoeiHterH here an
and M,a r 8, Vrani,a11. h. Cox
fnT- ewiH' of Martinsville
met ror nftfnn vo,a .t .
i . -' nu ine reun
i0.?AWU88ff' All went
Newport to spend Sunday.
4 .
uajw
-rv: f -
The Ul
)inr of S
lf
tounty
II inW is a.
ainl why n"1
thai range
ami matte JJ
kin hen
Come iu
ns. We r3
phiin the '
4itiuliticH f
ranges. tM
$1 per TO
'j
The Standard Ranre, $30 to ,
classy piece of kitchen furniture U m ,Ucdium l,riccd raagC
The Superior, $40 to R70 le"' iU " ,1,
the money. All kinds of dunW abs,,,,Uc,y finest range in the wor"1
ranging from 80 to $2 25 cl, .Camp stoves ymr vacation, and M
9 - ft3t lrOr Stove, rri.,.1 ,,. ...
1V17T 4J .t w . 'i:r, sewing uv
. . i
if W r:i...
-. ... i.iB.ioi, gaiesrnan for a 8t
Lou18 hue anJ wh0He t .
Kentucky, Tennessee and (Jeorlla
was here TuBd. .....?
J a Tmk.t 1 ""u""1 Bl 'be
Imbrie home. Mr. Nishet
A S r wi the"! U
bri68' 'viHitorVnfhis1"
1
the greatest country tifj
and climate tbM
anu at iqiom n w
here eveDtually.