HILL580R0 RGUS. Jv 1,0J
PAGE 2
MADE
CROFOOT
GASP
Promoter of Gigantic Enterprises
Wept When Stranger Left.
WAS FAKER LIKE HIMSELF,
Hew Judo GoIdKammcr Baat tK Ma
jor at Hk Own Cama af Soft aad Be
guiling Way Vary Much Downcast
Ovar Oyteama.
By M. QUAD.
Copyright, IMS. by AociatS Litamry
PrMaJ
MAJOR CKOKOOT, (rranj rro
( tnoter of twenty-sii differvut
gigantic enterprises, with
three or four other ready to
launch on the public as soon as funds
become a little easier, had made a
light breakfast, pone without touch
and was seated In hi office In serk-us
thought when there came a rap on the
door. The person outside who wanted
to be Inside wight be bis landlady,
who had that morning hinted that she
would like his room; It might be his
laundress, who had threatened to hold
on to his last shirt; It might be hla
cobbler or his clothes cleaner, or it
might be his landlord come to lndalgs
In one last horrible threat
When a man has arrived at that pe
riod where be baa only 7 cents and a
receipt for hair dye In bis pockets be
'His ran bethatbo tb fact that bb
WAS OIL! AVD CNCTCOCS.
must take chances. The grand pro
moter drew a long breath and bade
the unknown enter. In response to bis
call a stranger entered. He was a man
of middle age. His face betrayed the
fact that be was oUy and unctooos
and effusive He made himself at
borne In ten seconds, and In another
ten be was saying:
"Major Crofoot, permit me to Intro
dace myself as Judge Gotdbammer,
banker, broker, capitalist and promot
er, and to say that I sbonld not hare
come to take up your raluable time ex
cept for a matter of business strict
business."
"I am glad to see you, sir," replied
the major as be extended bis band
and sighed a sigh of relief that it
wasn't the sheriff.
"Major," continued the caller as be
became seated, "yon are known to the
general public as a grand promoter of
great enterprises. To the few of us in
side the ring the fact has become
known that you are not always suc
cessful for the want of capital. You
bare the bead to organize, bat not al
ways the capital to carry out I am
one who has watched your career very
closely, sir. For the last three months
I bare watched yoa more closely than
ever, having a distinct object In Tlew.
The major bowed and blushed and
didn't know whether to be pleased or
uneasy. He hadn't decided which
when the caller went on:
"Ton need a capital of ten millions
to carry out your enterprises, and I
don't suppose you have over a million.
Yoa can't push anything with a mere
million in such times as these. You
can simply make a stab at it. and yoa
have done so repeatedly and thereby
excited the admiration of myself and
others."
The major felt a warm glow of
pleasure stealing over him and won
dered If be hadn't died and been trans
ported to paradise. A mere million!
He hadn't bad $10 at once In the last
five years. His bead was going round
and round, when Judge Goldbamtner
touched him on the shoulder and said
"Give It up, major give It up until
you can swing at least $5,000,000 as
capital. Give it up and come with me.
I need yoa In my business. 1 want a
right hand man, and you are the one.
I have been thinking of coming to see
yoa for the last fortnight."
"What-wbat Is Itr gasped the ma
Jor as be thrust his baud Into bis
pocket to see If the 7 cents had got
away.
$20,000,000 Profits First Yaar.
"The greatest scheme on earth, my
boy positively the greatest It will
return $20,000,000 profits the very first
year. 'You shall be vice president of
tbe company at a aalary of half
million per annum. That shows yoa
how badly you are wanted. It's some
thing tbe public must have and can't
do without Will sell Just as readily
In Asia and Africa as here In Amer
ica. I wouldn't part with tbe idea for
$1,000,000,000 In United States bonds.
All I wanted was a right band finan
cier, and now I've found him."
Tbe major closed bis eyes and felt
himself sailing along on a cloud of
purple and gold, and nightingales with
tongues of silver seemed to be singing
to him. In a faraway voice be beard
tbe Judge asking:
"Major, you have dreamed, of
course. Every one bag dreamed. At
certain times you have dreamed of al
' Ugators, serpents and roaring lions;
at other times you have dreamed of
angels, cuplds and broiled lobster.
.When you have dreamed of the one
you awake In tbe morning unrefresh
ed and morbid; wben you have dream
ed of the other you awake feeling
yourself a Jim-dandy, and you go at
It and fight luck and make $100,000.
Am I not right, major?"
JFfeS jnaJorbowed hla head, but he
T
cotlda't speak TT.s liesrt was too full.
"My new rbem. whtoh la my forty
seventh pxil thins, is the corker of all.
I have dfcwwered that dreams are a
subtle but tangible tiling, the name as
oaone. After making this diseovery I
asked mrself. Why not ptvsene the
puM dreams and dream them over
apnln a score, a hundred, a thousand
times? After two weeks I bit on the
way to do It simple aa A B C I
connect a copper ire from tho brain
to a storage battery. If the dream is
good store It up; if It Is lad let It
ooie away next day. One good dream
warranted to last a year at .'east
Then yoa drearu something else for a
change, nave tried It on myavlf and
dreamed of angels counting gold pieces
and rich widows wanting to marry
me. All perfected and In working or
der, major, and yesterday I organ
ized the Great Worldwide Pleasant
Dream company. Shares to U? sold at
not less than par; dividend will st:irt
at 100 per ceut Good dreams wanted
all over the world. Machines can be
made for $3 and sell at $10. One tvat-
tery answers for a whole family aud
will last a life time. Major Crofoot
do you tumble!"
The major did. The perspiration
was rolling off him from 10.tX pores,
and be felt that be must soon tumble
off bis cbair.
Duties aa Vice Prasidant.
'As tic president" continued tbe
Judge, "your duties will be extremely
light We shall want to send out a
dream with every battery as a sendoff.
It will be for yoa to dream that
dream. They must I varied accord
ing to locality and sex. For Instance,
we cannot expect that tbe same dream
will do for an African chief and a
New England old maid. We shall ask
nothing of you but to dream. Yoa can
do It major, and yoa may consider
your fortune made. Would you like an
advauce of $25.00) on your salary T
The poor major swallowed and gulp
ed, but could not even nod his bead.
'Well, you can answer when I come
In tomorrow. Meanwhile select your
bank and order yonr auto and your
new cloches. We'll look for office to
morrow and also see an architect about
a ten story building of our own. Might
get yoa a diamond for your tie. as we
want everybody around us to look
prosperous. If yoa prefer horses to
aatos then get horses. I think this Is
a!L Ta ta."
Tbe major couldnt bow him out He
sat there for ten minutes and thought
It over, and then It came to him that
tbe Judge was tbe same sort of pro
moter he was and bad used tbe same
soft soap and beguiling ways, and he
laid his bead down on the desk and
wept. He bad been taken for a skate.
and be wasn't even consoled by know
ing that his 7 cents still remained In
hla pocket
Tha Mutual Annoyance Society.
Fine lot of chickens," said the
visitor.
Uh, hah." replied Mr. Slrlus
Barker.
"I suppose yoa enjoy eating one now
and then."
"Those chickens are not to be eaten.
I keep 'em to get even with tbe neigh
bors." Washington Star.
Just an Average Youth.
Mildred," called her father from the
head of the stairs, "Is that young man
an auctioneer?"
"Why, no, father."
"He talks like one. He's been put
ting up that 'going bluff for forty-six
minutes and has only got as far as the
door." Kansas City Times.
Dttermination.
"Why don't you get rid of that
mule?"
'Well, sub," answered Erastus Pink-
ley, ""I hates to give In. If I was to
trade dat male off be'd regard It as a
personal victory. He's been tryln' fob
de las' six weeks to get rid o' rue."
Washington Star.
Insufficient
Judge The evidence shows that you
threw a stone at this man's dog.
Prlsoner-Don't It show more'n that?
Judge What more did you want It
to show?
Prisoner Why, y'r honor, 1 hit 'Im!
Cleveland Leader.
Hia Transformation.
Little Harold, aged six, felt very
proud wUn be donned his first pair ot
trousers. Taking hla three-year-old
brother behind the door, be was over
heard to say, "Willie, Willie, do you
remember me?" Delineator.
Artful Dodgers.
Hank Srubbs One thine sure. Ill
Dever be killed by an autymoblle run-
Din' away with me.
Blge Miller No, but one might run
away ag'lnst you. Boston Globe.
The Summir Maid.
Vhn memory climbs the upward grade
And cattle seek the trrateful shade,
Then, cool aa dewdiop In the glade,
She aralllng comes the summer maid!
Nor heat nor dust nor glare we wot
Can wilt this maid ahe heeds them not
And when weak man la almost parched
She still Ii sweetly calm and starched.
A vision or coolneai In lawn arrayed,
She greets our eye the summer maid!
Will 8. OWley In Pittsburg- Dispatch.
80 Considerate.
Mrs. Stnbb John, 1 want to go to
the seashore Id a few weeks.
Mr. Stubb But, Maria, 1 cannot af
ford to go with you.
Mrs. Stubb Oh, well, you stay home
and paint the roof every day until your
nose peels, and then people will think
you have been anyway. Puck.
Silhouette Repartee.
"Lady, I am footsore an' weary
an
"Well, so am I. But I don't go
around the country telllu folks about
it!"-New York World.
ilai nSr-in-V-
r
RENOWN
Steel Ranges
The largest part of a
woman's duties are per
formed in the kitchen. If
this room is well appoint
ed her work becomes a
source of enjoyment.
The selection of a right
range is an all important
point. A Steel Range
will complete the arrange
ments of an otherwise
"up-to-date" kitchen, and
be a cemfort and a joy to
the user.
"Something Different
and Something Better."
is our claim. That Re
nown Steel Ranges have
all the features of other
ranges is easily proven.
These special features
are too numerous to be all
mentioned.
Let us explain all the
merit points of Renown
Steel Rauges to you. We
will be glad to see you at
any time. Ask about our
exchange plans.
MOORE A HOOVER
c isf rwf IM Mark
fresh and Curad Meats
ALWAYS IN BTOCK
etffc
SmoondStrt. HUHboro, Or
Try a DeLaval
If yoa are thinking of buying a
cream separator why not bu the
best? We are tbe agents fi r tbe
DELAVAL
We guarantee tbia machine to be
the easiest cleaned, tbe clc sest of
skimmers, the longest-lived, and
The Best Separator
in the market We will place the
DeLaval in a competiog contest
with any other cteam Mrparator,
and let the LieLaval speak for it
self. Mr Customer, it will pay
yoo to investigate the many super
ior points found only in the
DELAVAL
Mays & Conover
SCHOLLS, OREGON
ROY ENUEAVORERS
A very pleasant social given by ihe
Christian E doavor Society of R iy
was held at the borne of Mr and
Mrs. F. L. B-amis, Friday night
Games were played, and at a late
hour refreshments wote served, all
having ei pyed a good time. Thote
present were:
Mr. and Mrs. F. L. Beami, Mr. ami
Mrs. A. J. Friday, Mia. Wm. Skeene,
Misses Rene HiiU, Lizzie and Louise
Riebcn, Lena Rainwater, Kthrl Carstt-nt,
Eva Dronbaugh, Marvel King, Esther
and Kva Spieringi, Ada Friday, Fieri
Bullock; M. King. I). Hilts, Ceo. Kiehrti,
Martin Rai owe ter, Ned ami Oscar Ro
gers, Martin Morrison and Juhnie Spier-
ings
John G ten, who ha been slafh-
ing near VVm Union, went over to
tbe Peer J ssy place on ih errand
the other day and bad a f til on a
eharp projec ion on a buggy th
projection having been placed there
to carry lights on tbe vehicle. Tbe
fall made a nasty lower abdominal
tear, rendering 'h1 services of aur
geon imperative. Dr. V. A. Bailey
wa callel and found it ntcees&ry
to take nix stitch iu order to ke; p
in position some anatomy whith
had been torn from its cycloais.
Henry U Guild and wife return
ed from a month ai Elk Citv and
Newport, Monday evening. H G
is as black as Grande Bonder and
pays he is rested through and
through Don Guild is now over
at Anacortes, Wash.
J B. Walker, of below Beaver-
t n, was up Tuesday, and says that
some hay is greatly injured by the
rain, while adjoining fields, cnt at
the same time, are not injured in
the least.
Thoe. E.Cornelius, of Salem, and
an oldtime Washington County
biy, is in the oity. T. E is one of
tbe best horsemen in the state, and
knows the equine from noBe to
crupper.
Argua and Journal, $2.25.
Hon. K. W. Haitfs. stats -n-ator
lit ti term, and- n 'h'
batking biisinec at Kor.fl -"vf
for many fears. in the c 'V
Ttrday. Mr llinei n.w n
Ursstisi in the Ouhin pUoe, on the
I'nttesl urvev. iK-ar '.fiuv c a d
be eod J-hn TihupM- have
sore, whu'h tbey nll
Jiv de and placv on the u :irt in
trace of not le than tut act
K. V. says bis I'U'k. w" '
closed aotus month ao,
will
out dollar h-r d.-llar, and lr
him fe t boti and dollar It
side He is pavinc th ! 1 " 1 !
dollar for dollar and m " p".j
Mitereet on iht nioii" f'r tbe ii u;
it was lied up. Tlirte r ni
savs Mr. Maine, but
interest on this, yet to t id !
It has been on th com unite of j
liquidation to ltai(hlrn up lh
affair of th bank. apMiutd by J
the dpoitor, and ffelewy much j
gratified that thing at hpij
out bo nicely. j
The Origin Klectric ituvtuiug in1
for cooaiderabl grilling because it I
runs it can at o hijih a rale oT (
pd across Second Sirtt. Hit
it one of the tuaio thurotishfare
leadiog inlo the city, and drw-r
comirg down Second can not b'r
the car as ihey are panning either
ay particularly i thi thic
when tby com from th writ
Unlets ther i oai peed abt-
merit one of the days an el-;
bound car is liable to scatter a !
hide and it occupant and om!
one may be killed. The City Hall
and Masonio building chut off
sound on Portland bound tra'uu
Dr. Lioklatcr came near being!
caught lb other day, and lorn.
farmer wife coaiiog ia the lat uf ,
tbe week just pulled up in time to ;
keep from anointing the track. j
Martin Vandehey, manager and
conductor at lb county farm, bad
a sefere attack of ptomaine poion
in? one day laat week. H awaken
ed in the morning feeling a utual,
ate a light breikfart, and went to
work. After a short time he fell a
sort of paralysis coining over bim
and waa deathly ill. iolent retch
ing followed and Dr. A R Railcy
was summoned. By th time tbe
phyeician arrived Mr. Vandehey
waa nearly blinded i li pain, and
cam near passing in hie check
He iu soon relieved, but it wai a
close Oill. He has no idea where
the ptomaiora came from, but it
wn no doubt the result of some
thing be hid eaten the evening be
fore. Wilbelm O.to, who has a fin
borne on the top ot Cbehalem
Mountain, where he can see ten or
a doxeo Oregon counties, down
f n.u r i w i
irum rsiu rraa, aionuay. in
grove is a very popular Sunds)
camping place for people who want
to tee half of Oregon and a part f
Washington in three oi fjur hour
of driving.
FANDOM AND DUMDUM.
It was a great game.
That boy Carstons la good enough
The IlankH catcher Is somewhat
clasay himself.
Holy smoke! that game was h
funeral was It?
The classiest gamu In amateur bane-
uaii in the county.
That Hanks Cardinal Lame iln
kind of playing we have been looking
lor an summer.
The Cardinals are kin id losers :iinl
It takeH that kind of wtiiff to make a
good baseball team.
Schlogel and those raleliew-- 1.11
Irishman ami a Dutchman for hall
player were good enough for Mr
.'redle'a bunch.
It Is not very often that von see Inn
as good pitchers as were on tho
moumiH at Hie Kttiiui Sunilav. K.ife
hits were mlKlity "ukase."
They nay that '81111111" Wentlierre.l
I'fll RO VOl.,l fit II... ,. 1 . I
went up und asked Manager Moore to
let nun put mi a uniform.
Roy Moore's drive to left ami It
was a peach brought iu HiHsloroH
first score, but he couldn't llnil fnis
teus like back in undent hi,i,,rv
Wouldn't It be a near h of u l':iniii
If everybody uiiiplred? I.efs try It,
just once, and see what kind of a
peace conference- w would have.
On the 251I1 the County Seat and the
KegularH will have It out on the
Hanks' grounds. It Is expected that
1!00 w ill go from here to nee the game.
If Hanks, HllUiboro and the foil
of Korent (irove, would get Into a
county league there could bo some-
tning to the Rood In ba::elia I. ami tine
crowds all the time. Heller try It next
year.
A little kid about two years old fell
out of the bleachers from a lop seat
wnen a batsman knocked a loin; flv to
Schlegel. The kid was bruised a hit.
but between sobs he said: "Walhn't
It a peath and did the feller calh
It?"
"Wallace" Marsh, the oldest cntlm.
slastlc fan Iu tho county, was In from
Centervllle, Sunday, to see tho game,
ana the way he rooted for Hunks
wasn't slow. If ho is over his hoarse.
ness yet It Is because he Is taklinz
treatment.
When two pitchers keep on thn hill
for ten Innings with a score of 2 to
.'S there's something doing In the deliv
ery line and that's the kind of gumo
that makes baseball the game It is.
There are today many league pitchers
poorer than either Williams or Cars
tens who are drawing down good sal
aries. "Old Hobs" Harry Cook, one of thn
niftiest of ballplayers, was In Monday
and said: "It's no use for any one to
t'jll you that Clell Carstens can't pitch
for they're wrong. Ho's the hardest
thing I've gone up against this Heuson.
Two yours agu I could but him, but It's
different now. He's got them that's
all there is to It. I haven't found out
where but he's got them." And Cook
Is right there all the time, when it
comeB to a pinch hit.
CliiUu tt's .ih Mtiis ."A- t - 7.k
CIuMku's ii.mjHis l"
C.itUMicssi-s.whitc -v oU-!c.l,.".iv u;
Hoys' waists " " -K
Children's rikhI hose - 'A j t i.t'f
ChiUlrcu's .sleexelcss ctH 1''
" inusuii ili.twcti IM.
" sun l'!inct"
Men's uohhy eotdtiroy junts " Men's K"4"' "k . nIioch .
" o.h1 wotk pants iM,v up " o!.l.l oxfotds . . . Jjjj)
" fancy nenlie shit ts 'V l'.'.s' " . . 3
" silk-smpo nelic " $1 (NI p " p ilvltt leather i folds .
" fancy lii;lit " "AK Mi s p.nvnt oxfoids, 4 to t., 15
" go.nl wot k so - t-c paii " t.tu " il.it),. J.75
" liht -wght union suits $1 !'." i.a.lus' white pinups
" l'oioskuit " " I " " ln " 230
" " tin.li rwcat ."(c lui nits' pumps, n ti 4, iu coh.r,
" t.n and patent, alhurt
.....
$
The Nelson Hardware Co.
For Ranges that Excel, and Right Prices
. j -1
J -:
p
TVlY W v v a
Fred Oaelzs and Tony Rinay
were over from back of 1$ looming
Tuesilajr. Thsy rsport beneOciai
rehults from tbe rainfall.
Argua and Oregonian, $2.25.
ilElLtii
AIRD'S
argains
1, t.'.h s' u hile waists
Hit
for $ our motto
Between the I.)ruj( Stores,
Jam
VBstironstoves, khm1 lkers, selling at only V
ti . I
,ZZhH h Hold hi,
UMh tlm (.m,ll(,,riUi ,
A- up
$113 1.
l.uuy waist- .
" xlilc " " SI0,.,!
" l!.iv k. mohair skitts . 50
f-uivy would rrvt " . $:50jB?
" tmtiim'dxoile " .$IMB?
The Ut
line of ANoj
Rnnj(es in
county
Hurved is k1
a why not brf
that ranjie A
and nuke A
kiuhfii a dclig
Ci.iuc in and
tis. We will
Via in the sni'
jii:tlitu'S
jaiiKfs. Lisle J
...
$1 per
f
1
T SlllflJl
Henrr, Harrington, J
over 330 acres of ths
fine out near the Duiwi
11 .u Hi ibo
mini iiortiiwD v '
town Tuesday.