3.
Correspondent Bobs Up With Defense of Kingdom of Syncopation
THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, OCTOBER 22, 1923
V.
BY FRANK J. SULLIVAN.
YOU would die laughing if you could
read the 563 newspaper clippings
spread out before your correspond
ent on this desk, all over the ash tray on
which no ashes may be dropped and right
in front of the hand painted candle which
under no .circumstances may be lighted.
Your correspondent lives at home.
The clippings all relate to Jazz. They
belong to the files of a certain newspaper
and contain everything that has been said
about jazz by everybody from Bee Palmer
to Rabbi Wise. Yes, you would die
laughing.
You may well ask: "With so many
fresh (in the sense of new or recent)
newspapers to be had for tuppence or
thereabouts how comes he to be reading
this ancient journalistic chow chow?"
The impulse derived originally from a
pain in the neck.
Your correspondent lately took up. In
the waiting room of a well known pre-,
scription specialist, a copy of a highbrow
magazine. In it there was an article pooh
poohing Jazz. In words that never weak
ened to the extent of less than three
KvllnhlpB finva in tha lirtnvnfriahlv mnn-
7 osyllable consonants, conjunctions and ar
ticles, it endeavored to give the impres
sion that jazz is absolutely and unutter
ably blaa. Jass was not music, it was
vulgar, it was sensual, it was discord, it
was this, it was that.
If Sophie Tucker or Paul Whiteman
had read that article they would have
cried their four eyes out, and it was to
avert just such a calamity that your cor
respondent went out immediately, with
out the prescription, and bought up and
burned every copy of that periodical. No
opthalmia for Sophia Tucker if your cor
respondent can help it!
That article, then, was the straw that
broke your correspondent's back and then
gave him a necktal pain.
Why must they pick on jazz?
I mean jazz in its broader application,
which might take In pretty nearly the en
tire modern movement, including the
shimmy. You would have four or five
general subheads, in- Roman numerals.
One of them, of course, would be the
flapper. And then under her would be
(a) bobbed hair, (b) cigarettes for wom
en, (c) short skirts for ditto, and so on.
Under the short skirts you would have a
sub-head In small Arabic numerals, as
(1) rolled down stockings. And so on.
It gives you an Idea of how you could go
about it if you were writing a thesis. It
also gives you an Idea of how much the
Jazz movement really includes.
In the kingdom of jazz as it now exists
elements like Ted Lewis and Gilda Gray
and the dance called Chicago are only
'drops in the bucket. Why, there are even
Jazz preachers today, whether they know
ft themselves or not.
Looking atlt from all of the 872 sides
which every question has, can you see
how things could be any different today?
Can you see that there is any more danger
of Jazz ruining the country than there is
of a high (low?) tariff ruining it, or open
face goloshes as worn by co-eds, or Ed
Wynn's jokes or s.lmost anything else you
could think of and a lot of things you
wouldn't? We will not speak of the war
because of the fact that it is over. Some
time ago the writer was sent to northern
Labrador by the Society for Practical Re
search to investigate and report on the
causes for discontent among the Crusta
ceans of Labrador. This was when he
was at the age of 12 and he was gone
two days and two nights, Labrador time,
or seven years and four months, New
York daylight saving time.
Knocking Jazz Is Popular.
Returning last night unexpected he
found that jazz had arrived during his
absence. You may well imagine his sur
prise. The first thing the Pullman porter who
took his valise and velocipede said was:
"Ca' y' baggage suh? Jazz is ruin' de
morals ob dis country, suh!"
TWO barefooted children, returning
from an errandv forgetful of their
mother's parting injunction to
hurry, stopped, faces upturned to the
window, mouths agape. One by one other
passers-by, young and old, paused a mo
ment, then slouched Into positions of
greater ease, and with faces upturned,
were immediately oblivious to their sur
roundings. The group became a small
crowd, but the first-comers did not ob
serve the gradual increase in numbers.
Their thoughts were above the street
level their eyes fixed upon the window.
Suddenly an Airedale sent up a long, low,
dismal howl. A shock went through the
crowd like an electric current a maa
boxed the dog's jaw an audible sigh and
a movement of rearrangement and once
again the unexpected audience outside
the low rose-hedge gave itself up to
listening.
To and fro, to and fro, a black figure
passed and repassed the open casement
a queer, fantastic figure of a man, under
bized, and upon his shoulders a huge
Jump, like Atlas', but with his burden
sadly disarranged. ... He had returned
but yesterday from years of wandering.
. . . The crowd lost not a movement of
that grotesque, pacing effigy in flesh
for tonight the hunchback played
great God in heaven, how he played! How
be played!
The notes fell like drops of honey from
a flower, lifted like showers of sparks
from a forge, drifted in high, sweet mel
Your correspondent believes that is a
fairly accurate' transcription of the Afro
Harlem dialect.
The taxi chauffeur in front of the
Grand Central station said:
''Taxi! Hiyooahsir! Jazz was invent
ed by a demon!"
The hotel clerk said:
"Sorry. We have nothing left under
$19, but it might interest you to know
that the Massachusetts Society of Chiro
podists, at its last annual convention, de
nounced jazz as causing warts on the
feet."
As a scientist there wa.s nothing for
the writer to do but find out about jazz
on his own hook.
Hence, it was that nightfall found him
in what is commonly called a palace of
jazz. The partitions separating three ex
saloons had been, torn down, and then
Joined with the respective back rooms, or
family entrances, until the ensemble pre
sented quite a sizable palace for jazz. The
whole was hung with heavy silk Arabian
draperies, in blue and yellow stripes a
foot and a hair wide. The lights were
dimmed in order to confuse federal
agents. The waiters were dressed as
sheiks, presumably also to confuse the
agents. The entire effect was as im
moral as a plate of pork and beans.
Then little Jessica came along. Before
ody that mocked the age-old practiced
notes of nightingale and starling, of
oriole and thrush, of Irish linnet and St.
Andreasburg roller; now sobbingly they
whispered through the gray softness of
the early night. And one by one the
uninvited guests gave evidence of the
power the music held; each man in his
own way portrayed his soul in look, in
action or in silent, deep absorption more
powerful than plaudits, cheers or words.
On not a few enrapt and auiet faces tears
slowly slipped unhindered down the
cheeks. -
The hunchback, too, forgetful for the
bour of his own mortal curse, soared
witha soul set free to heights beyond his
reason and his usual skill, 'til turning
suddenly he saw upon the wall the
hideous shadow that followed mockingly
his every Btep a twisted, bent, unsight
ly phantom thing, outlining that more
awful, concrete form that God forgot to
r.lralghten or to change before he placed
it in the sight of men. Slowly he ap
proached the grotesque wraith that
mimicked every move, and suddenly gone
mad with a resurgence of his life-long
agony, he poured out upon this hideous
shadow-thing a torrent of maledictions
shocking to the ear.
Then came a sudden crash as, glancing
from this monster on the wall and see
ing the lingering crowd that waited for
renewal of his charm, he jammed the
window down, with fury half consumed,
his pride outraged, thus to be caught un
guarded and unmasked. While one by
this was a slow age we'd be dancing minuets in our jazz palaces.
leaving for Labrador your correspondent
had known Jessica as a little girl who had
dandled him on her toes when they were
partners at dancing class. -
It might be remarked here (and the
whole situation may take from the re
mark a tinge of humor that is perhaps ex
cusable and even desirable in a serious
treatise like this) that your correspond
ent cannot dance. In fact, if he may say
so, he has been decorated by his majesty
the King of Siam with the order of the
seaman, third class, because he is the
only man In the world who cannot dance
and does not harbor the delusion that he
can. . .
Jessica seemed glad to see your cor
respondent. She is sufficiently comely.
It was noticeable that she wore the con
ventional bobbed hair, the conventional
knee length skirt which your correspond
ent now understands is doomed, and
smoked the conventional fag.
"Anything on your hip?" she inquired,
brusquely.
Your correspondent examined his hip.
"No," he replied. "Was there anything
there?"
Jessica laughed. She howled. -"How's
the old cake-eater anyway?"
she asked.
"I should love a piece," your corre
one, as they had gathered there, those in
the audience took their leisured way
upon the silent street, with scarce a
thought of pity in their hearts, though
they had stolen glimpses of a soul that
knew no voice save through a violin.
This was his trial night, the nlht to
crown his life or make of him a greater
mockery. The little man moved ner
vously with quick and hurried steps; his
long thin hands were colder than their
habit, and many times as he laced his
fingers in a way he had, yet slower
seemed the flow of blood, and slower
still. He touched each string upon his
old Cremona, lovingly; he rosined care
fully, the flawless silken bow, arranged
the tie upon his all too prominent chest,
and flung back from his brow the long
black hair, so glossy, straight and thick.
And then, unknowing how it came
about, he stood before his audience at
last, gave one swift look Into the impas
sive faces there, and laid his magic bow
upon the strings.
No longer now was he a thing ac
cursed, as often he had called himself so
bitterly. The heartaches of a lifetime
merged in thrilling tenderness, and from
that twisted, broken figure came such
melody as permeated every soul that had
within It place for harmony. From mood
to mood the music rose and fell; wave
upon wave it carried those who listened,
mute, enthralled, out upon an ocean of
spondent retorted. Cake was not over
plentiful in Labrador.
"Let's shake a leg," suggested Jessica.
Girls used to call a leg a limb, but
Jessica was always one to call a spade a
shovel. It developed that she desired
your correspondent to dance.
."Oh, you want me to trip the light, fan-'
tastic toe," your correspondent said, not
unplayfully.
- The music started and I suggested a
gavotte.
"A gawhat?" Jessica asked.
"A gavotte," I repeated. "There is
dignity and poise in a gavotte."
"Suit yourself," Jessica said, "but I'm
going to do the Chicago if they don't stop
me. Come on!"
I was about to grasp Jessica according
to the method I had learned in dancing
school when I was not a little startled to
find she had grasped me. I placed my
right arm about her waist. And then 1
knew why I had met so many former cor
set manufacturers begging in the sub
way. .
We danced, as 'they term it.
"By all the rules of Miss Frothlngham's
dancing class, in which you and I gained
our insight into the terpsichorean art," I
told Jessica, "we ought to be a foot apart
at this very minute, and here we are,
making the Siamese twins look like dis
tant relatives. How do you explain it?"
molten gold, in sail-boats made of sandal
wood, gem-set; or hurtled them In mad
dened, storm-whipped breakers on the
rocks, as in a wild, tremendous volume
rose the splendid force of violin and man
in one triumphant, crashing final chord.
,
They threw him money, flowers and
yet more flowers the audience quite
drunk from its reactions and response
while for the moment, he, too, tasted
joy, and lifting up his head, he waved his
Jong white hands, no' longer cold, In
graceful salutation, acknowledgement
and thanks.
For fifteen years he had drawn upon
bis powers to win this one night's vic
tory; to stand before his youth-time fel
lows here and sway them at his will as
he had done; to dominate them by his
super-soul as he had always known,
somehow, he could. And underneath, in
bitterness and agony at his own handi
cap, he had fought on ana on, like a
man. who, mortally wounded, and blinded
by the blood, yet fights, nor yields one
moment to the pain until his breath is
spent, his eyes too dim to see.
And greater than the wish to rule and
win, he had done It all for HER and her
alone the woman whom his heart, un
recognizlng barriers of flesh, had long
ago ordained as his one mate and placed
upon the altar of his soul. She should,
sometime, looking at this crooked house
in which he had been forced to dwell
"I give up," said Jessica. "How do
you?"
There I was with Jessica's extremely
beautiful map so close to mine that I
could hear her tonsils. A soft, blonde,
perfumed curl brushed my cheek and got
in my eyes. I thrilled.
"Get that hair out of my eye," I said.
Music Leads Sinful Life,
The music played jazz. It sounded as
if a respectable tune had given itself up
to a life of sin or had gone on an outing
to a summer amusement park and was
gazing at itself in one of those fantastic
looking glasses that make your face look
funnier than it is.a
It was a familiar tune, and when I got
time I recognized it. It was William
Tell's overture, but he would never have
recognized it, because it was so much im
proved. It was weird, haunting and en
trancing, and I don't know what made me
do it, but I seized Jessica even more firm
ly than I had been seizing her and said:
"I am going to marry you!"
' This, mark you, was on, my first night
back from Labrador.
Just then the first violin! who also
acted as referee, shouted "Break!" and
the gong rang. All the flappers and
cake-eaters unclinched and untangled
themselves, and Jessica and I retired to
our corners, and the waiter came and
against his will, see Inside, and then,
forgetting all its ugliness, should pause
in adoration and surprise at its un
doubted beauty and appeal should love
his soul, it but for one brief glance
The usher pushed a basket of red car
nations to the feet of the master-artist.
Their fragrance rose to his nostrils as
he bowed low and long above the offer
ing then lifting his grey, somber eyes
to the box upon his right, he met for one
full, long and perfect moment a look of
wonder joy and startled love upon a
woman's face that cleared slowly In the
baze of his confused and blurring con
sciousness the woman he had lived to
stir like this ' .
It was Ms heart, the doctor said the
weeks of strenuous application too lit
tle attention to the" physical needs the
excitement of this great final triumph
success such was the way of these tem
peramental persons. ...
They lifted the ugly shell from where
It had fallen before the open window.
The roses still were blooming In the
hedge as the gray twilight fell, but no
audience lingered there tonight to look
upon a naked soul, unmasked. The old
Cremona, with the E string snapped, lay
within his bent arm where he tell, his
stiffened fingers forming still a minor
chord.
But what no eye beheld was a penciled
page he had found among the blood-red,
weet carnations, and bad burned upon
fanned me with the check. Then I passed
out
- When I came to I married Jessica and
paid the check with her dowry.
Was that Immoral?
Yet they say Jazz is ruining the morals
of our youth. In my thesis, which I shall
submit to the fellows of the Harvard and
Yale corporations and the girls of the
Bryn Mawr and Vassar corporations, I
shall convince the world that Jazz is justi
fied, inevitable and harmless. I shall
pepper the thesis with enough allusions in
Latin to get it by as a thesis.
My argument will be along the follow
ing lines, and see if you don't think there
is some sense to it: These are parlous
times. They are the times In which every
good man should come to the aid of his
country. Life is not the placid thing it
was when women wore crinolines. Life
could not be anything but placid with a
. crinoline around.
(You understand this is all. In outline,
sort of.)
The same thing applies to any of those
getups the girls of ancient times used to
rig themselves out In, for what reason
the stars alone know. Those 12th cen
tury effects with the stovepipe' hats and
nine or ten yards of gauze floating off
them for no reason whatsoever. I refer
to the headgear of the Sleeping Beauty
period. Small wonder she went to sleep!
And those Elizabethan ruffs. No won
der history states that Queen Elizabeth
was straight laced. How could Sir Wal
ter Raleigh put his arm around her neck
when -it was already done up in enough
material to keep the Troy collar factories
going a month?
I shall go on to point out that modern
life is essentially rapid and therefore es
sentially jazzy. I shall prove by actual
statistics and charts that the slowest man
In the United States today is seven and
one-quarter times faster than the fastest
man was when it took nine days to get
from Boston tc Philadelphia.
And what is more, I guarantee to do
this without making a single joke about
Philadelphia! Or Boston!
The music of a period is a reflection
of the mood of the time. If a people feels
jazzy they have Jazz music and they live
jazz lives, and the refined, moral people
who are fortunately always in the minor
ity, may denounce until they denounce
themselves hoarse, but it will not do them
any good If a people feels mlnuettish; if
circumstances are of . niinuettish. type,
then you will find slow, stately music
such as our ancestors of colonial times
had, when the fastest thing out was Paul
Revere.
We have the Twentieth Century Lim
ited, Conan Doyle, airplane mails, Ford
tractors, trans-oceanic non-stop flights,
monkey glands, radio concerts, votes for
women, subways and a 75:25 standard of
morals.
I admit that we would be better off
without the radio concerts.
Nevertheless, under such circumstances,
who is going to dance the minuet to
day? Anyone suggesting such a thing
would be and should be laughed to scorn.
Jessica would not even dance a gavotte,
and everyone knows there Is an element
of risk, of thrill in the gavotte. Your
correspondent has seen men and women,
cold sober, trip themselves or each other
during a gavotte movement, and. serious
injury has ensued.
If things ever slow down, and they
never will, then Jazz will go, but It never
will. It is here to stay until we revert
to type. That is why your correspondent
feels sure that you would get a good
laugh out of these clippings about jazz,
wherein almost all of the dominies, lots
of the dancing masters, and even Victor
Herbert, attempt to take falls out of jaz.
Their protects are futile and, Incidentally,
they are all wrons because .as Whatcha
cai:it nas so aptly said: "Whatever is, is
right," and jazz certainly is, isn't it?
Your correspondent has proved his case
for jazz, and he hasn't even said a word
about the war!
the window sill, leaving a tiny pile of
gray ash his last 'cigar, they said:
There are twin souls that, panting and
distressed,
Seek for each other through the desert
dry.
Then meet and signal and go on again
Without a cry
Because some fate beyond their power
has made
The soul of one too weak and too afraid
To face a handicap and clasp the band
Even of Love out on the desert sand. .
Savage Headgear Ornamental.
The sub-Arctio people from the frozen
tundra wear a snugly fitting bonnet with
earlaps, designed to exclude the cold as
well as to conserve the heat. Although
the utilitarian side Is the essential fea
ture, and each of the 20 or more little
pieces used In the construction of the
bonnet are necessary to make the shape,
the people who wear this headgear have
adapted ornamentation to Its limitations'.
Fur Is the basic material, but there are
effective Inserts of different colored
strips of leather, some of which are
woven with leather of a contrasting
shade. In introducing bright colors they
depend almost entirely on quill work, al
though occasionally bits of trade cloth
are UBed.
Coin Largest Known.
Probably the largest coin In the world
is one belonging to Farren Zerbe, Inter
nationally famous expert on rare coins.
It is a piece. of stamped copper plate 10
inches square, and weighs 6I3 pounds.
It has a value of "4 Daler" (the daler
was a "coin of varying value) stamped on
It, and the date 1730.
Such coins were commonly used in
Sweden for some time during and after
the wars of Charles XII. It is part of a
collection of more than 30,000 specl
mens,srepresenting mediums of exchange
of all countries and periods from th
earliest to the present day.