THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAN. PORTLAND. AUGUST 13, 1922
CURRENT HAPPENINGS PICTORIALLY PRESENTED BY DARLING
THE GREAT COLD RUSH OF JSI2.
THE ONLY .THING THAT KEEPS THEIR HEADS ABOVE WATER.
HEAVEN PITY THE POOR SAILOSS IF WE DONT GET A CHANGE OF WIND AND TIDE
BEFORE 1924. . '
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BO ME DAT. MATBE. WHEN SAM CET3 TO BE A BIG BOT HE WILL DO SOMB LVSISTIXCTOO.
GREAT GAME f WHO'S AHEAD?
NO WONDER SOME FOLKS HAVE TO CHARGE HIGH FOR THEIR PEANUTS
GOVERN MMT
AND TM6
IMTI
OF SOCIETY
I VJEL.L VNELLl )
A GOOD TIME, EH?
THAT 3 KICE .
ALL. THE MOEYVJ
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WONDtR IP EVERY
THING ABOUT THISjAME
IS PE"?FECTLY STRAIGHT
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THE MARRIED LIFE OF HELEN AND WARREN
BY MABK.L HERBERT IRVKR. v
Wife, Entanjtlrd in Marital Dilemma, Gives t-luctant but Efficient Aid to Friend at Coat of Row With Own Husband. Who Deplores Lack
of Truthfulness in Women Spouse Decides That Feminine Lies Come Too Plausibly.
f JT EAR MIS.S CCR1
II "I am soini
favor. Mr. Orah
EAR MIS.S Cl"RTlJ:
i to ask a
ham is IB Al
bany and t don't mprct him back
until mldniKhl. But In rase he
comes on ,an earlier train l"ve left
a nole sayinjc I'm spendinK the eve
oinx with you.
-Now if he SHOULD call up.
please say I'm there. If he want to
speak to me make some excuse.
Say I"ve itone to the drug store for
a headache powder if you can't
think of anything better.
"Don't worry it'a all r'eht. I'll
txplain when I e you. H. O "
With an indignant Hush Helen
thrust the letter back into the en.
relope that bore a special deliver
tamp. Harriet Graham had no right
to ask this:
"Anything wron:T" demanded
Warren. Klanrlnir over his paper.
"No. Just a not from the seam
ttres. he Ciin't come tomorrow."
The lie came a-'.ibly. but it fanned
her resentment toward Mr. Graham.
If she told Warren the truth he
would forbid her having anything
to do with such deception.
Tha letter said it was "all right."
No doubt It was. Mrs. Graham had
always seemed devoted to her hus
band, who was much older and in
tensely Jtalous Tet why should
he wish to deceive him nowT
With disquieting thoughts of pos
sible entanglements Helen returned
to her mending, interrupted by the
special delivery letter.
."That's a rotten magaalne! War
ren threw down a gayly covered
monthly. "Nothing but triangle and
sex stuff! You'd think there weren't
any decent married couples.
-1 wonder why there's such a
demani for those stories?" Helen
rescued a ball of darning cotton
Irom Pussy Purr-Mew's propelling
I-aws.
"Lot of Idle women eat "em up.
While their husbands rustle for the
dough they sit home, sopping up
that slush and aching for an af
fair." He!en winced. Curious that he
should speak of this now. Had her
own vague fears charged the air
and unconsciously aroused hls
tirade? Was it only another proof
of thought transference?
Fhe had Just mated and neatly
rolled up the last pair of tan socks
when the telephone rang.
Before she could Interpose War
ren had the receiver off the, hook.
"Hello! . . . Mrs. who? . . .
What number do you want? . . .
Yes. . . . Mrs. Graham? Why
no. she Isn't "
Frantically signalling him to
rllence Helen snatched the receiver.
"Oh. Is this Mr. Graham? This Is
Mrs. Curtis. - Mrs. Graham Just went
to the drug store for a headache
powder. She wanted to take It in
soda. . . . , Yes. I'll tell her . . .
Yen. soon as she come back."
"What in blazes' are you up to?"
exploded Warren. .
"Dear. I had to oo it that letter
was from her! . I eald the seam
stress because I I knew ahe
wouldn't want you to know."
"Know what? What're you get
ting mixed up In? What's she try
ing to put over?"
"She said she'd explain when she
saw me. I'm sure It's all right."
"Let me see th'at letter!"
Helen hesitated, then reluctantly
handed him the letter.
His mouth grimly set. Warren
scanned the hurriedly written note.
"And you'd- help her hoodwink
Graham? You know she's out to din
ner with some no-account he-flapper,
and you "
"I don't know anything of the
kir.d!" flamed Helen. "All I know
is what's in that letter. She says it's
all right that she'll explain."
"Explain? she'll do that all right.
More lies! Poor old Graham, fine as
they make 'em and she's gallivant
ing around with some young whip-
persnapper. That comes from read
ing those damned stories."
Snatching up the unoffending
magazine, he slammed it down with
a violence that sent Pussy Purr
Mew flying from her perqh on the
window sill.
"Just what I said! The man's out
hustling for a livin while the
woman sits home with not a blamed
I thing to do except get into mis
' chief. Now I won't have vou mixed
. up in this! Understand? If she
writes or calls up. you turn her
down hard! Say you'll have nothing
to do -with It."
"But. dear, suppose he calls up
again?" panic-stricken at the
thought.
"I'll talk to him." grimly. "You'll
not have a chance to concoct any
more lies. Wanted her' headache
powder in, soda!" with a snort. "Her
lie wasn't plausible enough so you
had to dress it up."
Flushed "and unhappy. Helen
searched her work basket for a but
ton for Warren's pajamas. It
seemed most unfair that she should
be so mercilessly denounced for try
ing to help a friend.
Having finished all the mending,
she had Just taken up the despised
magazine when from the front door
came a peremptory peal.
It was after 10! Too late for any
chance, callers.
The next .moment Nora ushered in
Mr. Graham.
"Good evening, Mrs. Curtis!" as
Helen in panicky dismay hurried to
greet him. "I thought I'd come by
and take Mrs. Graham home."
"Oh, I'm I'm so sorry," tremu
lously. "She's just left."
"She didn't Call me up?"
"No, she thought she said she'd
go on home," stammered Helen.
' "How long has she been gone?"
"Why why just a few moments,"
conscious of her crimsoning face.
"Then I've just missed her? Well,
I'd better go right on back. Oh, how
are you, Curtis?" as Warren now
emerged irom the library.
Tense with anxiety. Helen stood
helplessly by while the men ex
changed greetings. .Would Warren
blurt out the truth? He was capa
ble of anything. To him any form
of deception was like a red rag to a
bull.
Again the bell! Helen caught her
breath. If it should be Mrs.' Gra
ham! With a murmured excuse she flew
to the door. Through the gold silk
panel loomed a slender figure under
a broad, drooping hat.
"He's here now," whispered
Helen breathlessly as she opened
the door.
"What've you told him?"
"That you'd just gone home."
"That's all right leave it to me!"
Ignoring Helen's excited protests,
Mrs. Graham swept by into the
front room.
"Why. Harvey, how nice of you to
come after me," kissing him. "Have
a good day in Albany? I started
home, but had to come, back for
my pocketbook." ,
"Your pocketbook?" ,
"I must've left it in the bedroom.
Just a moment I'll see."
Dumfounded. at this daring sub
terfuge, Helen waited with growing
apprehension. In a moment she re
appeared, a small change purse, in
her hand.
"I didn't miss it until I got on
the car." Then turning to her hus
band.' "I'm glad I had to come back
now we can go home together.
"Not just yet!" ominously. ' "I
happen to know you haven't been
here at all."
"Why, Harvey, what do . you
mean?"
"I had my suspicions when I called
up Mrs. Curtis. And just now I
saw the trick yoo tried to put over."
"The trick?"
. "I saw you in that mirror. You
didn't forget your purse. You just
went inside that door and took it
out of your bag.'"
Trapped, Mrs. Graham stared at
him defiantly, her face flaming red.
"Well, what of it? What're you
going to do about it?"
"I want to know where you were
and whom you were with!"
' "And if I don't choose to tell
you ?"
"I think you will,", sternly.
"Well, it's all your own fault,"
she blazed. 'It's because you're so
strict and narrow and old-fashioned!
Anything that's new or
that you don't understand you de
nounce. You know what a scene
you made last time I went to a
spirit meeting. So I decided this
time you shouldn't know."
"A spirit meeting! Harriet, is
that true?", stepping toward her.
"You've told so many falsehoods,
how do you expect me to believe
you?"
"I don't care whether you believe
me or not. The Wilsons were there.
Call them up if you want to and
here's the programme."
"Good heavens, it you wanted to
go to this thing," staring at the
leaflet, "why didn't you say so?"
"Because you made such a row
last time I determined - you
shouldn't know. You're so preju
diced! You get rabid when any
body mentions spiritualism. You
know I believe in it yet you for
bid me to go to the meetings."
"We'll talk that over when we
get home." Radiating relief he
drew her 'hand through his arm.
Then with an -embarrassed laugh,
"I think we owe an apology to the
Curtises."
"That's all right," shrugged War
ren. "Glad you cleared the atmos
phere." When the door closed after them
Helen whirled about with an
exultant:
"Now it was all right! It wasn't
what you thought at all. It's just
as she says he's so strict he drives
her to these deceptions."
"Huh, looks fishy. That pro
gramme she flashed on him was a
little too pat."
"You think she wasn't there?
Why, she- said he could call up the
Wilsons."
"Tat doesn't prove anything. She
may have fixed them, tooJ She's a
natural born trickster. The way
she faked finding that purse'!'
I know, yet it was rather clever.
"Clever? Call that clever, do
your jabbing a cleaning wire
through his pipe. ' "You'd both
rather lie than tell the truth."
"But, Warren, I hadn't any choice.
I couldn't give her away, could I?"
"Maybe not, but you were too
darned glib about it. Now, don't
let her rope you in on any more of
her escapades. You steer clear of
her mix-ups. The way you two
concocted those excuses without
turning a hair! Slippery as eels
both of you. Huh," with a disgusted
snort, "I wouldn't believe any
woman under oath!"
Next week, "An. Eleventh Hour
Telephone Call."
Turn About Fair Play.
Boston Transcript.
A well dresesd man stopped be
side a house painter and said: "You
are not doing that job as I would
do it. You should take longer
strokes."
"Say, look here!" said the man
with the brush, "are you a .house
painter ?" ,
"No.".'
"Then what do you mean by tell
ing me how to do my work?"
"Oh, I am the manager of a ball
team. I notice you in the' bleachers
occasionally handing me unsolicited
advice."
Good Mixers Out of Date.
Washington Star.
"Your recent attitude has been
somewhat ponderous and aloof," re
marked the solicitous friend.
"Times have changed," replied
Senator Sorghum. "In politics the
good mixer has gone out of date.
along with, the bartender."
f