THE ORE&OyiAX fORtfcASfl)," TOtE 23, 1S22 CURRENT HAPPENINGS PICTORIALLY PRESENTED BY DARLING TOO TOUCH A PROPOSITION' EVEN FOR THE LIFE GUARD. IPS SOMETIMES JUST AS WELL TO RECOGNIZE THE INEVITABLE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. EARTH: .HATH ITS SORROWS, WHICH STRIKES ACANJCQT. CURE. ' NEITHER CAN YOU MAINTAIN RAILROAD WAGES O.V A FALLING) FREIGHT JURKET ONCE UPON A- TJMB THERE WAS A MAN WHO HAD A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER WITH NICE "WAVY GOLDEN HAIR. THANK GOODNESS THERE'S -ONE, MEMBER OF THE FAMILY GOES SERENELY ABOUT " HER BUSINESS. " ISNT THERE A GOLDEN TEXT OR SOSIETHING HE COULD TEACH HIS OWN BOYS. TOO? Real Love Stories EVER after the death of a fa vorite brother who was a missionary in China, mother held up the idea to us girls that one of us ought to find it in her self to carry on the good work which he had begun. Well, I was the plainest and hardiest and most blessed with a love for new ex periences, so it became natural to think of me as the one to go. I prepared, accordingly, to be a teacher of English and hygiene. and whatever else I could get across in a government school in west China; and soon found my self within a year of setting out upon the adventure. In the meantime I settled down teaching high school. Then I caught influenza and had to go to the country to get strong again. Thinking to be useful at the same time. I chose to spend the summer in an isolated farming community, which had been represented by a city charity board as In. need of some one to organize its recrea tion. Recreation. Such a stolid, compla cent lot I had never dreamed could exist. They had their own rooted notions of pleasure, which consisted among the older ones of carousing and gossiping, and among the younger for the most part already cousins of early courting, in which they wanted no assistance from me. I set myself the task of sticking it out for the summer. My services resolved themselves into taking shifts at night with wornout farm wives who had teething babies. Day times I slept, except when I went around to sewing societies In an effort to know the people better. I soon arrived at the conclusion that this was a segregated settle ment whose general average of in telligence was low, and that it was getting lower from close intermar riage. The one exception was the com munity doctor. He was a plodding, serious young man who had all he could do bringing infants into the community stupid infants who would grow up Into stupid people. Stupid doctor, thought I. One' night one of the, teething babies developed a high fever, and I sent for the doctor. Before he came the little thing died. It was a hot . August night and my first experience with death. I met the tardy doctor, blubbering almost as desperately as the mother. He was irritable. I flung at him: "O, I'm not crying for the reason you think I am. I'm crying because they don't -all die young in this degenerate place." He told me with restraint that I was suffering with nerves. The following Sunday we took a long rid together tor Us nerves. We talked; we argued; we quar reled. He called my point of view toward the -village unsympathetic, inhumanitarian. I told him he was misdirecting his energies; that he was sentimental. He denied none of it. "I'm one of them, you know. The only difference between them and me is that I got out." It seems that his father before him had been the village doctor, and his mother, still living, one of the farm girls. "And your wife will be one, and you'll be shut in to this deadening existence all your days, and to what end? If you want to sacrifice yourself why don't you pull out and go to China?" Beoausa he was needed right where he was, he said. We never got past that in subsequent argu ments. But he did not seem averse to arguing. I determined to fight it out along that line if it took all winter. ; In fact, I did spend the rest of the year there, taking the place of the one teacher in the one school. They were a slow lot But I found that by catching them young it was not impossible to touch aft a spark of ambition in them. In each, however hard to get at, there was some desire for new experi ences, which I endeavored to meet with. tales from the outside world, magazines, music, and in the case of the more promising ones, by trips to the nearest cities. I grew fond of them. In the spring I " let the doctor laugh with me ovar my youthful dream of being a missionary to China. Then I married him. Have I given up my idea of carry ing, on my unole'g work? By no means. Never were heathen mora in need of missionary work than the kind of community which I now call my home. Besides, I'll get my husband out of it yet, even if we have to wait for ourvson to take his place before we set out to foreign parts. Am I stupid? Yes, but happy. BREAD DEPOT CREATED Grain Corporation at Vienna to Distribute Cereals. VIENNA. With the termination of governmental control of the pro duction of bread and breadstuffs, effective on the last day of April, the government has created a grain distributing corporation. This concern is to keep at all times 100,000 tons of cereals in stock. Of this 40 per cent is to in mills or warehouses, 30 per cent in European ports and 30 per cent afloat between the United States and Europe. Any profits from these operations go to the federal treas ury and on the other hand deficits are to be mot by the government. The grain exchange reopened May 1. "BHf" New Game at Spokane. SPOKANE. Wash. Henjy Solo mon, local billiard enthusiast, and Dr. J. M. Johnston of this city are responsible for a new sportsmen's hybird which they have termed "bilf." The game is played partly over the golf Jinks and the rest of the day over a billiard table. In the first half of the contest Dr. Johns ton had a lead of 29 points, but Sol omon, more than evened tha score when cues were substituted for golf clubs, the final saora being 60 to 46. Biihi batiiLQS oi flip iWdreft ELEANOR is a tomboy and feels that everyone finds fault wlt,h her. One day when she same home from school her aunt teasingly said,- "The superintendent tele phoned and said he'd have to give you a whipping if you didn't stop fighting with the boys." Eleanor was nearly in tears in a minute. "Well," she said, "if was only a little fight and he started it." 43. L. Davia brought home a discarded bird cage that had been given him and asked his mother if she would buy him a song bird. : "Why. son, a really fine song bird would cost as much as $10, and we could not afford it." "Then wa might buy a song bird that don't sins; so much," he said. J. M. S. . .. Teacher was giving out the free seeds from the congressman, and Johnnie got a package of tomato seeds. "Teacher, please, my ma has plenty of tomatoes, kin I have some orange seeds?" he said. G. B. M. Ruth will be 4 years aid tomorrow and she is going to have a party. When asked. "How soon will you be 4 years old?" she said: "Ju';t as soon as the party starts tomor row." A. L. L. ' ' ' My granddaughter is visiting me at present. After playing with tb other children for some time she became hungry. At previous visits she had been in the habit of going to the pantry and helping herself to cookies I kept there. I did not happen to think she might be hun gry, so did not tell her to get a cookie to eat. Looking up at me with an elfish grin she said, "Gran ma, do you keep your cookies where you did when I was here before?" J. U. F. . With others of her family Naomi went occasionally to a drug store to have ice cream. Here there were small tables and chairs for children, also an electric fan.- One day Naomi found her little table had not been placed to -her lik ing. It was too far from the fan. So she said to the proprietor: "Mr. Smiff, will ye p'ease move our little table wight over here so we can have more of this wevver?" A. E. H. Sibyl hates to sleep with her hair up on curlers, but still she likes to have curlB. The other night when her mother was fixing her hair on curlers she said, "I wish I had God given curls like Mary Louise." G. E. M. My nephew Herbert loves to look at the funny part of the paper and pretend to read it. Last Sunday he missed seeing it, and when bedtime arrived he an nounced briefly. "Mudder, I don't want to go to bed! I hasn't read my funny. paper yet." His mother remonstrated with him a few moments, and finally, with lips trembling, he said, "Well, I s'pose I'll have to go to bed wiv out readin' it. but it will jus' spoil my day!" E. C. B. Upon consideration he came in and asked the: following question: "Are there anything in here what costs for nothin'?" . I smilingly replied that we were short on that article just now, and he said: "All right." and flew out as quickly as he came in. W. B. S. The Smiths next-door neighbors have a poodle dog. Last year they had it clipped for the summer. It passed our house and my sister. Lavern, came running into the house shouting: "Sis, there goes a dog that's been picked." A. L. L. Mary Lou wouldn't make friends with our family doctor.- She said: "Oh, yes, I like him, but I like him best when he is home." L. F. Little son had been extremely naughty and mother's correction had been correspondingly severe. When it was over he looked up with a smile and said, sweetly: "Mamma, I yove you dest the same." Leona's cousin had come to visit and was standing in the house with his hat on. Leona eyed him for some time and then, unable to resist any longer. she said, "If you was my brother, my mamma would say, Toung man, take off your hat in the house!'" M. G. S. Mother was ill and said to son. "Please don't make so much noise, it annoys me." "Well, what did you buy a boy for? You know that little boys like to do such things," he replied. W. B. Brother had the habit of asking for something to eat whenever he happened to be at a neighbor's house, so his mother told him he must never do such a thing again. The next time he returned from a visit to the neighbor's she asked him if he had begged for anything to eat. "No," he said. "I was just talk ing to myself about how hungry I was, and they heard me." ju. a. Robert had always lived in a two story house, and when he went to visit his grandmother, who lived In a small, cottage, he was surprTsed to see the bedrooms downstairs. When he came back home I heard him telling a little boy about his visit. He said. "And my grand mother had her upstairs living rifc-ht with her downstairs." B. R. "I. was singing ono day the sonp "I'm Going Home to Die No More'' and Clyde asked if "die no move" was the town where I was going. Another day I was making :xke when he came in and asked what I was making. I told him sponge cake.-' lie said, "But. mother, why did you sat tha sponge ?" C B.