SECTION FIVE
Pages 1 to 12
Women's Section
Special Features
VOL. XXXVII.
PORTLAND, OREGON, SUNDAY MOUSING, JULY 21, 1918.
NO. 20.
AT THE HOUSEBOAT ON THE
STYX The Amalgamated Brotherhood of Kings
(Copyright. 1918, by the Mcciure Newspaper syndicate) Reported by Wireless to John Kendrick Bangs
POWERS
THIRD AND
YAMHILL
POWERS
USE YOUR
CREDIT AT
POWERS
gj
The Four Pieces May Be Purchased Sepa
rately as Follows: -
Dresser, $22J0; Chiffonier, $210; Full
Size Bed, $17.75; Toilet Table, $1850
You'll Marvel at This Price for - a
Bedroom Suite $79 75
of Four Pieces, Ivory Enameled.-
It i8 similar to illustration, with the exception that mirrors and bed
have straight-line frames as shown. That this suite is an exceptional
value will be admitted when one takes into consideration' design, work
manship and finish, and the present advanced cost of labor and materials
entering into all grades of furniture these days. You can buy this as a
complete suite or as separate pieces.
The Attractive Terms of $8 Cash and
$1.75 Week Place This Suite in Your Home
This $9.75
Period Pattern
Dining
Chair
Specially
Priced at
$7.85
The William and Mary pattern, which so ap
propriately adapts itself to dining-room furnishing-.
Of oak, with high back and genu
ine leather slip seat. Consider this an un
usual value at $7.85.
SAMPLE LENGTHS of
Imported and Domestic
CRETONNES, LINENS
Y2 PriQe
Fine materials are these, and don't think they'll
last very long at half price. Thirty-six inches
wide. We must close them out quickly, for war
conditions prevent, our securing stock of these
samples.
Again We Mention
These Exceptionally
A ttr active Items in
Room-Size Rugs
40 Patterns in Axminster Rugs Very
heavy quality seamless woven, offer
ing pleasing assortment GJCQ Kf
of colorings, 9xl2-ft. size tDDO.pU
Terms $10 Down, $1 Week.
10 Patterns in Velvet Rugs Also
seamless woven, in attractive range
of colorings, 9xl2-foot CCTQ Kf
size, for. j.. '. . OtJO.DU
Terms $7.50 Down, $1 Week.
Six Patterns in Velvet Rugs Seam
less woven, in- the popular 8-foot 3-
mch by 10-foot 6-mch
size, for
Terms $5 Down, $1 Week.
S45.00
$98. SO
Buys This Regular $11730
Tapestry Davenport
One of those large, deep. luxurious seating pieces,
with the loose cushion, spring-filled seats. A superior
grade of tapestry used in. the covering, of which you
have choice of four patterns. This davenport is much
larger than the types usually offered at this price.
If you've put off buying an upholstered piece of this
character up to this time, we suggest that you decide
on this design which, at the above price, is an unusual
offering.
Use Your Credit
THE LEONARD GLEANABLE REFRIGERATOR
Is the most profitable piece of home equipment you can possibly Invest in.
and health. Tou can wash it like a china dish. USE VOIR CREDIT.
It conserves food
Two Big
Mattress
Specials
For This Week
$14.25 Dixie
40-lb. Mattress
100 per cent cotton and no jute mixture is
what you get . in this mattress, which is
covered in art ticking and has a roll edge.
It's an unusual special value d 1 1 fit?
at this week's price wl 103
$11.85
dtiK rioss mat- tfon TP
tress Special. . . PLU.ld
Take our word for it that this is- beau
tifully made mattress, with ts imperial
roil edge ana its covering or linest qual-
ny, aatin-imian art ticking.
very special this week at.
s;$29.75
Sturgis"
The Big Word in
Folding
Go-Carts
..J
--nr.
oiurgiw ijro - i;arts,
with their many
convent ent and
comfort features,
-Te- werf -n a vrf e d
"Luxury" Go
Car t s. No less
than eighteen patterns shown i,i our line at this time,
ranging in price up from 113.50. See our line of "Reed
Loom carriages, sold here only In Portland.
A. SMALL DEPOSIT DELIVERS OMS TO, YOU.
MEN! Save 6c Car Fare
Ride a BICYCLE
To and
From Work
Fortunate are the workers who. have become "bicycle wise,"
for they are "thrift wise," and to their profit. By the thou
sands, in various cities throughout the country, they are
journeying back and forth from work on swift, easily
pedaled bicycles. We have just received
A Large Shipment of Columbia and
Treemont Bicycles
which embody every up-to-date feature of construction.
Come in and acquaint yourself - with them. Moderately
priced.
We'll Sell You One on
EASY CREDIT TERMS
FO UR TIM EL Y SPEC I A LS in
Outdoor Pieces
Don't subject your interior furniture to outdoor
use, when you can buy durable and comfortable
pieces at 'such low prices. ''
Porch chairs and rockers in natural JQ OCT
finish, with double cane seats; very special &O70
- Folding porch and garden settee, of ? pr
hard-wood, 42 : inches wide, special at f 1DD
Basket seat fiber rockers,' finished in Qpr
brown. Special for this sale at only 50OD
$5.60 folding lawn swings for children, rjf
quickly taken apart and put away; special Dae U
Only $66.10
IX
r .-
& YICTROLA
Outfit
And the terms are
only $7.50 cash
and $5 monthly.
Another of those
Powere unusual in
ducements. Outfit con
sists of Vtctrola IX in
oak or mahogany; six
ten-inch records and
one record album.
Twenty Styles in the
ivroehler T
Bed Davenport
And they're all new and unusual. Few homes
there are that could not use a Kroehler to good
advantage. One style, similar to cut. covered in
imitation Spanish leather, special $49.75. Terms
(7.50 cash. $1 week.
1 "
Ivory Enameled Dressers
. and Chiffoniers
- SPEC I A LL Y PRICED THIS WEEK
Large oval mirrors, shaped fronts and generous size bases. Finish and
workmanship that measure m well above the average. Bedroom pieces
that will be recognized as "substantial" values at their regular prices.
Use your credit.
DRESSERS
Regular S33.S0, fer. . .
$26.90
THIFFOMERS (Og A f
Regular S31.30 for. . . . tfAUilU
-
"To Give Up, Gott for Git!'
lie Used to Chute His Shop-Worn Harems Into the Bosphorus
DEATH OF ALBERT MILDENBERG MOURNED
SINCERELY THROUGHONT MUSICAL WORLD
Talented American Musician Succumbs After Illness of Nearly Two Tears Girl Musician Now in France Writes of
" How Soldiers Are Entertained at Concerts.
BY EMILIE FRANCES BAUER.
NEW YORK, July 20. (Special.)
After an illness of over 21
months during which there was
not one liour in which he was free
from pain. 'Albert Mildenberg. one of
the most talented of America'' musi
cians, composers and pedagogues, died
in the hospital. He was stricken at
Raleigh, N. C almost at the hour when
he was to have played the Liszt E Flat
Concerto with Modest Altchuler and
the Russian' Symphony which he had
engaged for the music festival' to be
held in the South. Albert Mildenberg
had resided in the South for several
seasons for the purpose of building up
a great music school in connection with
Meredith College. He received the de
gree of doctor of music from Meredith
College and his success was beyond the
greatest expectations.
Dr. Mildenberg was born less than
(7 years ago In Brooklyn and from his
earliest childhood, his musical talent
was extraordinary. Those who knew
him best, however, were perfectly
aware that music was only one phase
of his brilliant mental endowments, as
he might have put it to one aide and
become a writer of the rarest type. His
poetic imagination. . surmounted by a
fine mind, gave him a wide scope and
he has seen many of his short stories
in print.
This also served him well in his
operatic writing as he was able to
manipulate any story into a libretto
and to weave the libretto Into most
genial and beautiful music.
. .
The part that music plays "over
there'' may be realized to a certain ex
tent from the following reproduction
of a letter "home"" from a youncr arirl
who went to France in February under
the auspices of the Y. M. C. A.:
"I'm enclosing some pictures of a
purp tnat a soldier boy sent me. 1
was having lunch with him at a hotel
and I saw a cute little puppy while we
were there so, he sent me these pic
tures I guess he drew them himself.
I am up on the front now and having
a wild and thrilling . time. We are
needed up here- much more than in the
interior, but. they are not letting us
stay very long we are leaving this
district on fiunday. We should have
had a rest of about five days in Paris,
but are spending it playing up here
instead, we are having the most won
derful experiences up here any airl
(Concluded oo Pace .)
(T-rOWDT, LouT said Benjamin
J- Franklin, as Louis XVI.
the Ill-fated monarch of revo
lutionary France, came aboard the
houseboat on the Styx the other morn
ing and joined the Illustrious party of
deathless souls already assembled there.
"How is your ex-Royal Highness ex
healththts morning?" - -
"Bon very bon indeed," said Louts.
"Fact Is, Ben, 1 haven't felt so bon in
a long time. If I were any boaneryou'd
have to screw me down to keep me i
from kicking Gibraltar off the face of
nature. Why do you ask?"
"O, no reason In particular. said
Franklin; "only the king business is
almost as flat these days as the stock
market, and I wondered how you chaps
who still hold stock in the Interna
tional Royalty Company were getting
along."
"I don't bother about earthly stocks
any more." said Louis. "I haven't even
looked at a market report for going
on a hundred years, and whether Roy
alties are up or down interests me not
at all. I opposed the Introduction of a
ticker in this clubhouse when the proj
ect was first proposed by Midas and
Croesus and Monte Crlsto. and while
I was overruled. I have been consistent
with my principles and let the darn
thing tick for all I cared."
"I am not surprised, Lou that was
always your principle," said Franklin:
"you never were willing to listen to
anything frojn the outside. If you'd
had a daily hint from Wall street slid
ing through a ticker in the palmy days
at Versailles, when you and Marie An
toinette were looking on life as nothing
more than one glorious week-end after
another, you might have staved off the
catastrophe that cost you your head
and made Napoleon Bonaparte possi
ble."
"We had red tape enough at Ver
sailles In all conscience, Ben, without
introducing a couple of miles of white
tape Into the family circle every day."
retorted Louis.
"That's Just it," said Franklin. "Red
tape was all you had. and it bound you
hand and foot. But that little strip of
white paper tape that you so despise
would have bound you to nothing; but,
on the contrary, might have freed you.
simply by telling you what your court
iers didn't dare tell you, which way
the wind blew. If between 177s and
1780 you had had a ticker at Versailles,
from which you could have learned
that there was a bull market on pro
letariats and a corresponding fall in
the securities of the thrones, you'd have
taken care to put a few million francs
In Robespierre common and sold out
your Divine Rights preferred before
the bottom fell out." '
"O, well." said Louis sadly, "there's
no use of crying over spilt crowns.
It's all over now done forever and it
doesn't add to the joy of Hades to go
round moping over what might have
been."
"Spoken like a philosopher, sir," said
Marcus Aurelius. "If I had spent my
time back in the old days writing
aphorisms on the unhapplness of duty,
and the gloom of life, where would I
be as a household word today?"
"Correct!" said Job, sipping his sar
saparllla tonic through a straw. "Same
here. All over the world several thou
sand years after my last carbur.ole bad
bunked its way into nothingness to
land upon-the neck of oblivion Itself,
because of my patience under suffer
ing, my name, too. Is spoken with af
fection. Little children lisp It with
reverence, the middle-aged with affec
tion, and the aged with pride. B.ut
who knows the names of my comfort
ers, who'd have had me dead and bur
led before my time, bad I yielded to
their pessimistic lamentations? No
body! They might have been Smiths,
Browns. Joneses or Robinsons for all
the world of today knows or cares.
Even I have forgotten them."
"Nevertheless, Job." said Franklin,
"there Is such a thing as preparedness.
It Is well to be patient under suffering.
but better still to think right at the
proper time and to stave off trouble If
you can. It Is quite possible that If
you had made a practice of taking a
few doses of cod liver oil, and a liver
pill or two before your carburetor be
gan to corbonate you wouldn't have run
down so far. If I see a carbuncle
headed my way I don't run out and
greet it as though It were & prodigal
son and fall on lta neck ana tell it it
was always my favorite uncle. No slr
ree! I get out the old medicine chest
and mix up a bottle or two of - old
Doctor Franklin's anti-bunk, good for
man or beast, and use is as an appe
tiser at every meal, with the result that
the unwelcome visitor skids off In an
other direction and bunks on' some
other fellow's neck. A tip in time has
saved many a vanished margin." -
"The trouble with kings has always
been that they wouldn't aecepc the
tips." said Jeremiah. "Take NebUehad-
nesxar for example. They even went
so far as to scribble a straight tip to
Neb on his dining-room wall; but the
old boy came to grass in spite of it.
because he wouldn't take it."
"I didn't know it was a tip. said
Nebuchadnexsar: "I thought that hand
writing on the wall was the work of a
party of Cook's tourists that had Just
passed through, and ordered It washed
off. Besides, kings should be above
tips. You can give a tip to a barber,
or a hat-check boy, or a bootblack, but
not to a king."
"Query," cried Don Quixote. "What Is
the difference between a king and a
Pullman porter?" .
"Easy, said Solomon. "One loons
after his own birthrights, and the
other looks after the berth-rights ot
other people."
"That lsn t the answer, said Don
Quixote. "The answer is that kings
don't take tips."
"Fairly good. fairly good," said
Franklin. "Send it to Boswell for his
Joke column, -Qulxy. Say Johnson said
it and hell give you a dollar for It.
In the meantime, about this king busi
ness. It's on the toboggan today, all
right, and for the self-same reason that
Louis the Sixteenth and Charles the
First lost out kings won't take tips
from the ticker.' Just look" at' this
morning's quotations in the market re
port of the 'Gehenna Gasette,' as re
ported from over the River. Russian
Csars, quoted two years ago at 287 Ti.
now in the hands of a receiver; Greek
Kings, worth a trifle less than par
eighteen months ago, now offered at a
half of one-eighth per cent, and no
takers; Emperors of Austria, gilt-edge
five years ago, as shaky today as a
second mortgage bond on a Bolshevik
roof; and as for the Hohenzollern Pan
Germanic Security '& Trust . Company,
whose brilliant prospectuses ranked
among the finest specimens .of fiction
of the ages. Invested In by ICaisers,
Kaiseretles, Kaiserlnes. Junkers and
all sorts of Teutonic rag-tag and bob
tail, guaranteed by the personal word
of Bill himself, its' shares have fallen
from 95 to 2i.wlth -Bill- himself
reported to.be quietly selling short."
"O, well, what of. it ?' said. Louis.
"Who In Hades cares?" "
' "O, nobody much," laughed Frank
lin. "Only It shows which way the
wind is - blowing, and proves that if
Kings, Kaisers, Emperors and Czars
would only be wise enough to take
tips from the ticker they'd have their
cyclone cellars built and a few corru
gated steel umbrellas handy - for the
rainy day ahead."
"You foresee wet weather for kings?"
said Jeremiah. ,
"Surest thing you know; Jerry." said
Franklin. "The deluge that was apres
Louis Fourteenth is now rolling apres
Bill and .his pals, and when the -day
comes you'll hear BUI singing tthat
plaintive little lyric
It Is not raining rain for me,
It's raining- daffodils.
"Ov'well."' Interjected Baron Mun
chausen, "a daffodil or two isn't going
to hurt- the Kaiser much. It'll take
something more than a daffodil to get
through his helmet."
"Ah! but in this case,. Munch, the
daffodil will be only a figure of
speech." said Franklin. "Bill will sing
a revised version of the lyric, running
something like '
It Is not raining rain to me.
It's pourlnff shell and shot.
Mixed In. with H-S-S-O-S.
And. blftzen. ovarhot! .
A cloud of bom ha obacurva the' town,
Sun-harsed with deadly saa.
And through the blue the clouds let down
A vitriolic maaa.
It la not raining flowers at all. '
But mlaal-a round nia fill.
And on all sldaa I hear a call
To give up Oott for git!
"What's H-2-S-O-J?" demanded
Munchausen.
"It's poetic license for H-2-S-0-4."
'aid Franklin. . "And H-2-S-0- is the
formula for sulphuric acid a nice lit
tle chemical compound that can eat
and digest anything."
"Sort of a ' liquid goat. T imagine."
said Samson. "Gee, wouldn't it be
awful If it should ever rain goats?",
"It sure would. Samp," laughed
Franklin. "Far worse than the prover
bial cats and dogs. But 1 have a
feeling way down in-my bones that,
ticker or bo ticker. Bill baa got his
weather eye open, for 1 have Just read
in an American newspaper that he has
written a letter to one of his fellow
potentates that they've all got to stick
together or be put out of business.
That's rather like Bill, too quite Teu
tonic to take something somebody
else has said and try to pass It off as
his own. Back in seventeen seventy
six, when Tom Jefferson, and I got up
the Declaration of Independence to
send over to another Deutscher Boy
who happened to be asleep at the Brit
ish Switch, I myself made the remark
that we signers would have to hang to
gether or we'd all hang separately."
"He's trying to get up a sort of
Amalgamated Brotherhood of Kings,
eh?" said Caesar.
' "Yep," said Franklin. "A sort of
Potentates' Union, and no scab kings
allowed on earth. Nobody allowed to
reign anywhere without a union card,
not a bad Idea If it were designed ito
make better kings, but in this case .of
no more value than a union of pirates
or second-story men would be." ;
"I hardly see the necessity of Blfl'S
call, though," said Caesar. "The only
kings he is inviting to Join, as I under
stand it, are himself and the Sultan
of Turkey and the Emperor of Austria
and the King of Bulgaria, and. Judging
from the letters they are all writing
each other every day, they are so
everlasting stuck on each other al
ready that It seems like piling an Ossa
of. Cement on a Pellon of Glue to call
for a closer compact."
-"All camouflage, ' all camouflage,"
said Franklin. "They don't mean . a
word of it. and Bill's on to the fact.
The love-letters of these potentates
may be sticky In their slobber of senti
ment, but there's no real love lost be
tween aaiy of them. Ferdy of Bul
garia knows that Bill's bootblack has
more real Influence with Wilhelin
than he has: the Sultan of Turkey Is
perfectly aware that when Bill whistles
it's up to him to salaam; poor little
Charlieboy of Austria, in, spite of his
highly orlflammed front and his" wav
ing plumes of power, knows down In
side that he has dropped kingship for
good and has become nothing more nor
less than Bill's political valet, and that
the once, proud Hapsburg Isn't even a
Perhapsburg today, but is just a plain
little . megaphone thnaugh which Bill
roars his orders to the Austrians. And
If human nature Is still human nature
today they all hate him for it That's
why Bill has called for the Union. He's
like a spider, sitting In the midst of a
web In' a hurricane, with a big sheet
of flypaper for a doormat, calling upon
the flies to come and stick together.
They know it Just as well as he does,
but they, are all so hypnotized by the
grrat mass of glittering medals that
Bill has been pinning on his own chest
for the past thirty years that they
can't refuse. The Union will go
through, and they will stick together,
because they are going to be stuck to
gether, and sooner or later they'll go
down together In one red burial blend.
Superstitious Nick of Russia haa al
ready gone and Is shoveling snow in Si
beria. Twittering Con of Greece is knit
ting socks Somewhere in Somewhere
Else. Charles of Austria Is keeping his
eye on the Vlenna-to-the-Pole Railroad
with a 9:10 train ready at all hours for
the Imperial use. Abdul Azain't-for-Long
keeps a special submarine hitched
to the coal-hole of the palace, through
which he used to chute his shop-worn
harems into the Bosporus, so as to be
off with the old woman before he was
on with the new; and Ferdy, the Hall
Room Boy of Bulgaria, is learning how
to drive a Flivver, in hopes of getting
a job on the box of a taxicab in Cathay
when the end comes."
v'You draw a terrific picture," said
Bonaparte, "but I guess you're right.
They got me."
"Yes. Boney." said Franklin. "And
they got you because for forgot, aa
these modern kings have also forgot
(Concluded on Page .)
(