Special Features
Women's Section
SECTION FIVE
Pages I to 12
aitraag
VOL. XXXVII.
PORTLAND. OREGON. SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL 21, 1918.
NO. 16.
AT THE HOUSE-BOAT ON THE
SFYX-Shakespeare's Birthday and Other Things
A New Period Suite in Three Finishes Very Fairly Priced
Four Pieces in Either Ivory Enamel or
American Walnut Finish
$141)0 Cash V T
u
Reported by Wireless to John Kendrick Bangs
$139.50
i 1
MiLOLfl
TZTWBSHU
ferfmHi iiiffiri SET
,aMIIIMnt
A new period production that wa have Just sampled In ivory enamel.
American walnut finish and aeiected quartered oak. A high-grade auite of
exceptional design that we are offering- at a very low figure. The auite Is
exactly aa shown, with the exception of the chiffonier, which has a lance
mirror Instead of wood back. All pieces are beautifully finished, and the
Bed, $32.75
Dresser, $37.75
ToilekTable, $33.50
Chiffonier With Mirror,
$3550
? The Four -Piece Suite in
oooooo
case construction Is far above the average. Too may buy It as a suite
complete or select any single piece. In either event you will find the' price
exceedingly low for the quality you" are offered. By all means see this
suite assembled In our special display room. It will impress you aa being
worth many dollars more tham we ask.
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When )ou buy a Sealy Mattress the
cost ends there It never has to be remade.
Guaranteed 20 Years
- daWaaa " CL1
Nsy
Genuine Leather AVing
Rockers, Special
$33.75
These Hookers are marked many dol
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ine Mxanlh leather is used as the covering.
3l' 'I?
1 I mFBTY 1
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I J I 11 UJ
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BUY
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13 PATTERNS, ALL SEW DESIGNS,
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Offering for the coming week the best assortment of these
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$5.00 Cash, , $ 3 9 $L(0 Weck
FIBER RUGS
8-3x10-6 Rugs $1335. 9x12 Rugs $14.95
at.M FIF. IM.tID LI'N
Ol.lilM t VOIR FLOOR
$1.45
SI. 70 KIMS IM.tID
OLEIM 0. VOIR FLOOR
$1.53
The Gas Range With a
Reputation the 4
A-B Sanitary
Gas Range
Over 3008 Portland women are now
using the A-B Sanitary. They are
using this range because they have
found that it embodies the improve
ments of all the makes and also fea
tures that no other gas ranee has. The
A-B Is the most perfect gas range built
today. It saves time, labor and ex
pense, and Is designed to meet the re
quirements -of women who are as par
ticular about their kitchen as their
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other gas ranges.
Use Your Credit
CiJFtir 1 1
$61.50 Queen Anne
Sixty-Inch Buffet
$46.50
Really an unusual price for such a
roomy buffet. Back is fitted with tri
plicate mirror nb ' bai-e has roomv
drawers and storage compartment. Fin
ished In rich Jacobean and the best
buffet value we have offered In months.
I
He Merely Fiddled While Rome Was Burning.
II
Shakespeare, Wearing a Wreath of Laurel, Entered the Room.
Under priced Things for
the Children
Folding Baby Day Tards special at
$3.85
Four-wheel Folding Tark Cars,
nicely finished, at
$3.95
White Enamel Child's Crib, fitted
with four rubber-tired wheels and
w oven-wire spring bottom, special
$4.15
$1.10
e or Gold 1
automatic s
$11.90
White Enamel Child's Chair, striped
in blue, special at
1 1 I TS White or Cold Rronse Iron
Cribs, with automatic side trip, sp'l
Use Your Credit
This $200 Nine - Piece Oak Queen
Anne Suite for. .
$159
iez-y. J$fg frSBn
S16J00 Cash $2.75 a Week
Above Is IlluPtrstfd a remarkable suite at the special price asked. The
ptecep are nut only of extra larce sise. but they are of unusual design and
priced on a bantu of the ordinary stralRht-line furniture found in most
a tore. Tbe buffet measures o inches In width, bus a triplicate mirror
and irenerous storage space. The china closet Is extra large and the
table la built In proportion to the balance of the suite. Cane-back, leather
at chalra are furninhed Instead of the panel back, as ehown. Tou may
buy the suite complete or In separate pieces and, of course, liberal credit
terms are yours for the asking.
Buffet $4525, China Closet $31.75, Chairs $8.75,
Table $29 JO
ADJUSTABLE COLLAPSIBLE
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$1 12
Why continue the old way sit fit
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They conform to your size, height
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$1.00 Cash, 50c Week
LlXlRIOrS ALL-IPHOL9TF.RED
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From
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A most unusual showing or tnese apiendin over-sturtea imvenports. A
new shipment Just received has brought us some 13 new designs In both
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your Inspection of these new pieces while the assortment is yet complete.
iri course ou are very welcome to credit.
j
PERFORMERS SWEEP NEW YORK CONCERT
AUDIENCES OFF FEET BY BRILLIANT WORK
Mm. Pi Create Sensation After Sensation Society Women Throw Programmes Into Air at Carnegie HalL.
Heifeta and Matzenauer Continue to Enthrall Hearers.
BT KMILIE FRANCES BAUER.
NEW YORK. April New Tor
is assuredly making a record for
Itself and Incidentally there have
been some record-breaking artists,
amonc whom saay be named Rosa
Uataa. Margaret" Matexenauer and
Jaicha IJelfet. All of these faced au
diences which for enthusiasm and sis
have et been surpassed thia season.
Mme. rtaisa came as a musical thun
derbolt, becausv, although ob u a
sensational success in opera, no one
gave much thought to tbe concert pos
sibilities of the singer, but supposed
that It would b. an opera singer trans
ferring her activities to the concert
stage, with Just enough skill to make
a concert possible.
Instead the dramatic soprano of the
Chicago Opera Association proved to
be an artist of the finest recital quali
ties, not the least of which is a voice
of extraordinary beauty, brilliancy
and possibilities. Following her sold-
out Hippodrome appearance of Sunday
night, March SI, she sang before a se
lect audience provided by the Rubin
stein Club at Carnegie Hall Tuesday
afternoon, when those present saw that
staid body of society women aroused
to such a degree of enthusiasm that
programmes were thrown into the air
and many arose to their feet to do her
homage. Sunday night at the. Hippo
drome, in her third appearance within
the week, she went Into the class of
sensations of which there are but few
who Justly deserve the place that she
has won, and now to name of Raisa
should be enough to All any auditorium.
Mitsraaser Thrill. Andleeaee.
Carnegie Hall was filled to Its ut
most capacity and many were turned
away when Mme. Matienauer. with
Frank La Forge at the piano, faced
an expectant and demonstrative
audience. The singer had- announced
the receipts to go to the war savings
Stamps work and she appeared under a
great and effective poster surmounted
by two immense American flags. Many
have sung the "Star-Spangled Banner,"
but none has ever made a deeper im
presssion, nor has any audience ever
responded more spantaneously or emo
tionally to the strains of this deeply
moving National song.
Mme. Matzenauer's programme was
admirably made and . superbly sung
and neither in the list nor as encore did
she include anything at all which ap-
IConcluded on I'aje 2.X
IT was snakespeare s nirinaay, ana
the divine bard's appreciation of his
own greatness had become so in
creasingly evident that It had Bot on
the nerves of a large number or nis lei
low Hadesians. ; -"lie's
not exactly .'what "you ''would
catl unpopular with himself today. ;
he," enid Homer, as'the.great dramati
rtro'.leti by with his head thrown. so
proudly bad: that he seemed aware of
nothing but hi:nselt and tne ceutns.
V'N'un n no." stuttered Demosthe
nes. "bub bub--but you you kuk
can't bub blabe him. This is Bub
bub Bill's bub bub birthday, and
all the gug great fut figures in th
wow world's huh history he is she
only wow one th that's sus cele
ubratod bub by lul living Im mum
mortals."
"Get Demostheneses a new needle.
will you Raleigh?" whispered Horner,
to the chairman of the house commit
tee.
'That's enough to . give anybody's
nose a tilt." said Addison.
"That's true," 6aid Homer, "but Bill's
been rather toploftical for some little
time. To hear him talk you'd think
he and the solar system were twin
brothers. He's the only, man I know
of outside of Potsdam who really pat
ronizes the universe. You - don't see
George Washington strutting around
like a pouter-pigeon- looking for a
worm in the milky way when people
celebrate his birthday, do you
'Nor me, neither," interjected Guy
Fawkes, "when they celebrate my day
In dear old Lunnon with fireworks.
and the pealing of bells; with speeches
by the Lud Mayor, and
That 11 do for you, FawKCS, said
Napoleon. "I shouldn't think you would,
because yotr were a failure. Bill
Shakespeare may be as chesty as the
Kaiser, but he' turned the trick he
started in to turn, while you were as
far from accomplishing your benign
purpose with your gunpowder plot as
the Crown Prince was at Verdun. Why,
I wouldn't peel a potato. In honor of
your day, much less a bell.
."How. did this Fawkes person ever
get into this club, anyhow?" demanded
Dr. Johnson, with a heavy frown upon
the intruder. - .'
"He threatened to blow It-up 'some
night if he was black-balled." ex
plained Sir Walter . Kaieigh, who, as
chairman of the committee on mem
bershtp had frequently to accept dls
agreeable responsibilities.'
"And I'll do it yet. too," growled
Fawkes, menacingly, if . you shades
don't treat me with a little more re
spect." ' '.'.'"'
"I'll move to have you . suspended.
sir," roared Br. Johnson, shaking his
cane at Fawkes.
"I should worry!" laughed' Fawkes.
"A man who has been hanged by the
neck, (Doc, doesn't bother much about
being suspended from a club. Go as
far as you like. I'm Immune."
"I refuse to discuss this Bolshevik's
disqualifications for membership in this
organization when the -subject under
consideration is Shakespeare's birth
day," interjected Homer. "If we're go
ing to discuss the disqualification of
members for membership In this club,
we'd better take a year off, and start
at the beginning with Cain and
Ananias." .
"Well," said Aristophanes, "dropping
our possible Fawkes Pas for the time
being and getting back on the main line
again, I want to say that my objection
to birthday celebrations , Is that they
are so darned exclusive." Why the
deuce, let me ask you, do they celebrate
Shakespeare's birthday and- let - Aris
totle's and Plato's and 'mine slide? And
Homer's, too? Why don't they cele
brate that V ....
- "I guess one of the reason's is that
nobody knows when "you were born,
and., in Homer's case, .there's some
doubt that he. was ever born at all,"
said Benjamin Franklin.
you'll find that Homer was born at
Smyrna, at Rhodes, at Colophon, at
Salamis, at Chios, at Argos, at Athens,
and heaven only knows' where, else
Brooklyn, for all I know. It would
take at least a week to celebrate his
birthday, at'the, very lowest estimate.
W.hy the itinerary of Homer's birth-
! places almost suggests the idea that his
mother was out on the Chautauqua cir-.cuit-
when' her Illustrious .son first
dawned upon the horizon of mortality."
' "Sure thins." sa'd Addison. "I've
thought that very same myself. Homer's
birthplace read's like a timetable on a
Jerk-water railroad In Western New
York. How did it all happen. Home?"
"I was a favorite -Son in all those
places," said Homer...
"How did you come to - overloo
Saloniki and Ypsylanti?" queried
Xerxes.
- "And Kokomo?" put. in Poe.
"I'd have called him an -Away-From
Homer if I'd. been his father," sai
Aeschylus, with a wink at Petrarch.
--"Well, I agree with Aristophanes,
said Nero. "It is invidious to pick out
certain people to celebrate, and Ignore
the others. Think of all I did for
Rome, and yet who ever remembers
my birthday?"
"A birthday, Nero.V- said Vtr. John
son, "is celebrated' in commemoration
of a man's virtues, and - you didn
have any.
"O,- I don't know about that," said
Marcus Aurelius. "I think Nero showed
Tbnsiderable self-restraint when he
merely 1 fiddled while 'Rome was burn
ing instead, of going out and pouring
gasoline on it, as you naturally expect
a man or nis character to do.
"By Jove, Marcus," cried Nero.'"Wha:
a bully Wea. I wish to heaven I had
thought of it.
I guess those who heard you play
wished you had, too." said stradivarlus
who had always resented Nero's claims
to musical virtuosity.
"But really, boys." said Homer,
'when you think of all the illustrious
people in history, from me down t
er down to er " .
"Jack Johnson," prompted' Samson.
"Ail ngnt, said Homer. . "I never
heard of Jack Johnson, and I am there
fore not familiar with his writings-
He invented what they call punch
in American letters," said Poe.'
'Well." said Homer, . "whatever Pro
fessor Johnson Invented, or did not In
vent, to get back to what I was sayinit
when you think of all the famous
men-in history, from' me down to Jack
Johnson
'Or', from Adam to Trotzks. said
Alcibiades.
Not to mention such illustrious
women as Helen of Troy.- and Salome,
and Cleopatra, and Queen ' Klizabeth,
and Joan or Arc, and George Eliot, and
Tush!" retorted Aristophanes. "I
don't hold any brief for Homer.-but as
far as I can find out he was born morel sheba.'
times than any of us. If you don't be-l . "Well, even at that,
'. "Lydia Pinkham." said Moliere.
'Precisely," said Homer, "and Lydia
Finkham "
'The mother, of pacifism,", suggested
Napoleon.- -
'Better leave the women out. Homer.'
said Beau ' Brummel. - "They - wouldn't
like it- You can't tie a woman down
to a specific birthday that would give
you a ciue to her actual age."
'Be -that as it may, but for Apollyon's
sake let me ' finish!" roared Homer.
What I have been trying to unload
for the past three weeks is this: With
all these illustrious persons of both
sexes undoubtedly born at some time
or another, why pick out Shakespeare
for a fortissimo blast and put the soft
pedal on the rest of us?" . .
i "I .think I can solve that problem."
said Washington. "It would hardly
be expedient to celebrate everybody's
birthday. If you made a national holi
day of - everybody's birthday, as has
been done in my case, the world's work
wouldn't go on. We'd all be taking a
day off all the time. There are only
365. days in a year, Homer, but there
have, been more than 365 famous per-
ons born, into the world, vve ve got a
thousand of 'em on the membership list
of this 'club right now. with a waiting
list that stretches from Dan to Beer-
said Dr. John-
lieve It, Eenjy. read your history, and I son, "it . wouldn't be' a iad idea. ' Con
sidering what the world's work has
latterly become, a universal holiday in
which all the activities of the time
were suspended for say 10 or 15 cen
turies . wouldn't hurt anybody much.
If you could get. the earth calmed down
into a state of quiescent reflection for
-as little as a hundred years, what a
boon it would be! Time would . take
care of Bill Sykes of Potsdam and his
crowd, and once the peoples of earth,
had a chance - to think, and think
straight, we'd see the end of all they
stand for."
"It wouldn't do. Doc, it wouldn't do
at all," put in Wellington. "Time may
be the cure for Bill of Potsdam, but
what Bill, needs is not cure but treat
ment. The only fear I have about Bill
is that -he won't live to see the outcome
of this little picnic of his. It is not
Time's Job, but fhe stunt of Nemesis
to taker care of little Willie."
"Well," said Wellington, "Bill's got
to be licked." . -
"But suppose you could get him to.
promise to lay off for 100 years," per- ;
slsted Johnson. '
"Promise!" roared Archimedes.
"Promise? Really, Doctor, you are not !
a scientist, you know, and therefore ;
you don't know how to analyze what
is known as a Kaiser's promise. You
have known all about other words, but
It is quite evident that you are not yet
on to William's words. His promises
are made in Germany, and are there
fore largely synthetic. They appear to
be one thing, when as a matter of fact
they are directly the reverse. . When'
William crosses his heart and says I ;
will, you know that he is double-cross-
Ing yours and means that ho won't.
When he says I won't, if you have any;
intelligence, you lay bets that he will. ;
His promises are as reliable aa tho '
party platform of a Bolshevist conven-A
tion, and at the end of the first year of j
your' period - of quiescent reflection,:
backed by. the Kaiser's promise; you'd'
find yourself in the position of. a. qui-i
escently reflective Spring lamb that;
has been benevolently assimilated by. a,
quiescently reflective, but ravenously
hungry, pack of-wolves. Did you ever
analyze one of the Kaiser's so-called -words,
doctor?"
No," said Dr. Johnson, "I can't say
that I ever did." -
Well, try it some time," said Arch
imedes. "You'll find it one-fifth hy
pocrisy, one-fifth mendacity, two-fifths
egotism, and the rest pure gloss. .Bill
is the verbal pretidigitator of all time.
He gives you a word and in a Jiffy it
turns to a prevaricatlon-ori your hands.
He puts, a promise in a hat, pronounces
an incantation over it, ;taps. the hat
three times, and lo, out comes a slip
pery fish of repudiation, and all' the
time he is' doing it' he is humminsT
"Nearer My God to Thee" under his;
breath.: . Take my- word for it, Sam,
while there's a Hohenzoilern" left out
of Jail what you call a universal agree
ment is diie part camouflage,, and 93
parts taradiddle." - 'a
It was at this point that snakespeare.
wearing a ' wreath of laurel on his
brow, entered the room. ; He looked
haughtily about him, apparently . ob
livious to the existence of everybody
else. - '
"Me and the universe," said Caesar.
"Did you ever see such side?" . said
Raleigh.
He needs to be taken down a pec.
said Virgil.-
Go up and tell him his name is
familiar, but you don't recall" his face,
Boney," said Xerxes, nudging Napoleon
with his elbow. .
VLave him to me, boys," said Homer.
I'll put a tack in his tire all right
just watch your Uncle Homer.
Whereupon the illustrious Greek
smiled- broadly, and in a loud voice
called out:
Hello. Shake, old pote, whither
away.". - -
'Ah, Homer, said Shakespeare, con
descendingly, holding out his left hand
for a flabby pressure. "That you? What
have you been doing with yourself
lately, writing little verses?"
I've been laying out a billiad, witn
you as the hero. Bill," said Homer.
What s tne oig iaea, wearing mat
mistle-toe bough over your eyebrows.
(Concluded oa Pago 3-).