0
THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAX, PORTLAND, JANUARY 20, 1018.
roHTiD, uk:mn.
Satcred at Portland nirrigo) Poetorflca
ee'-i-o-l -etaaa mail niattar.
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How to Km It Srod poatoffiee money or
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laMrni Baalaeaa (rrfere Varrae at Conk
Hn.
. 1
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interact to preserve peace,
added:
And be
Brethren, that which la built on selfish
neaa cannot aland. Tho system of pe rami a I
Intaraot muat bo ahlvared to atoms. There
fore, ws. who have obeerved tha ! of
tiod ro tha past, are waiting' In quiet but
awful expectation until be ahall confound
thla aya'am. aa ha haa confounded those
which neve roii, before And It may bo
effected "v convulsions . more terrible and
ntora bloody than the world haa aeon. While
nien are talklt. of peace and of the great
progreea of civilisation, there la heard In
the dtetanco tha nolo of arm lea gathering
rank on rank, east and weat. north and
south, and rotting toward tha crushing thua-
dera of universal war.
This serrnon waa preached while
preparations were being made for the
trade expansion which It was believed
would follow the holding; of the Crys-
? tal Palace exhibition, the forerunner
o I e 1 , i i - i . .
This was a (rood many years .before
England exrhang-ed the sand spit of
Heligoland for comparatively worth
less possessions jn Africa, and the
were not even rumors of a universal
war. audible, to the public ear. But
the English preacher, although he set
down no dates, and made no attempt
elating; clergyman and every news- "ease. Unguided girls are a good
paper know thut there are large num- deal safer than they used to be, and
hers who act us If fretting married the improvement ought to be pro
were something to be kept dark, like gressive in this respect,
a crime, or at leant a misdemeanor. But even more significant still is
It was not always so and there were the changing sentiment of New York
not nearly so many divorces in the old ers themselves. They are now willing
days. , to let others have the distinction of
Five days In which to think about it living In the "wickedest city in the
further ought not to be a real hard- world." There once was a popular
ship to a couple whose love Is of the notion that New York could not "get
enduring sort. And it probably would along without blood money." This is
be better breach 'of promise laws to beingdissipated and a far healthier
the contrary notwithstanding if more sentiment is taking its place,
folks changed their minds, before the -
wedding day. Uctter an inconsequen
tial wounding of vanity than the
tragedy of a marital misadventure.
The Wisconsin law does not promise
a substantial remedy, but it will serve
a purpose if It leads to suuh uniform
ity of action by the states as will curb
both the snapshot marriage and the
too easy divorce.
RTRKK TIFD rr WITH rkd tape.
While the Government has been ap-
that working women, to whom econ
omy in dress would be most desirable,
are practically helpless, even when
from habit or taste they would rather
not buy a garment in the prevailing
style. He observes:
For instance, a working woman needs a
new dreg. . Hhe has neither the skill nor
the time to make it herself. She Itoes the
round of the shops in search of something
that wit! be fitting- and at the same time
conservative. She finds that the market of
choice is most limited unless she follow
the prevailing mode, that the bargains
wttiiin the reach of her purse are in gar
ments of fashionable cut. bhe ma
of th'e speakers. In one of them oc- f
curs this passage:
Dear General What shall I talk about?
My idea is this: To instruct the audience
about Robert Fulton . . . Tell me . . .
was that his real name or a num de piume?
It is customary to sa,y that a man's
private letters are interesting because
they reveal the "real man." It would
be as near the truth to say that Mark
Twain's letters reveal the fact that
the real man is in his books, too.
He stands out as the most natural
kes the I and utterly sincere, of men, who wrote
best choice under the circumstances not 1 because he liked to write and who
what she wants but what she can get. I made a iov of his nrnfessinn no lees
i - - ,
In more romantic days men were I than his casual exchanges of ameni
more given to ornamentation in dress ties. It seems possible that there is a
than they are now, but there was a lesson here for other authors, who are
period in which they seemed to have I trying, without much success, to win
obtained the mastery. Changes were I the tavor of a public that has raised
made so gradually that it required an I Mark Twain .almost to the topmost
ancient wood cut or an engraving of I pinnacle of literary fame.
a past age to remind us that they had
come about at all. There were, at
"arm pais eaa irrru, V errew m vna- i - .
Hrunawiek building. New f York; Verree I to denne the specific and Immediate
pealing to loggers and lumbermen for death penalty without due process.
spruce timber, it has owned large .Montana and Wyoming, with one
TtYXCHINGS IN 1917.
Statistics of lynchings in 1917 are
Interesting aa showing that the burden!
of this form of lawlessness still rests
upon the South, and that the negro
In all but two out of thirty-eight in
stances was the victim. Only twelve,
however eleven negroes and one
white man were charged with the, come aoout at an. mere were, at The problem of immigration wnirn
crime or attempted crime which South- least, no such revolutionary changes has giVen some concern in the pasti
ern puDtic opinion stoutly maintains eu.nu ric.cui. . man num uu6 may give place to a problem of emi-
Justities summary infliction of the out his old clothes before he bought gration after peace is declared in the
The Peripterous.
Perlpterous A Structure
of Columns on All Sides.
Having Bows
Dictionary.
new ones. . kui it now appears mat opinion of experts of the Government.
mo uci6iici, isuuuiuciicu "J The floor! tirto w t-o-j ,-.1, in 10(17
(Synopsis of preceding synopses.)
The Oregonian, great morning news
paper, employs a distinguished literary
architect to construct a peripterous.
He does it. It lias rows of columns oa
east. west, north and south.
The Peripterous becomes a Free Audito
rium for the expression of Incompetent, ir
reievent and immaterial opinion. ner
verse and anecdotes.
A Pacifist Department of Scientific In
vestigation is established and solves many
fascinating problems.
The Society' for Suppression of War Poetry
establishes headquarters and offers anti
dotes for war poetry poisoning.
ARK YOU AX A. O. V. O.T
Organization within these portals f
a chapter of the Ancient Order of Vo
ciferous Objectors has created almost
unheard of enthusiasm.
The I'ortland chapter is being: ei-tao-lished
by the Most Extreme Vociferino
of the Grand Lodge. In a statement
issued io the public the Most Extreme
Vociferino announces that ability to
object vociC erously to thinjfs that are
a ..nk in. strfr buiitimg. Chicago; Verree I causes of the great conflict which he bodies of splendid spruce and fir on lynghing each, were the only states success in forcing expenditures upon wnen it285,000 foreigners came to the ls not t,le n'y est of eligibility. To'
''"-iklln. !.afayetle ttltd. letrtlt. Mich.
in l4in-!o representative, it. J. Bldweli.
J JaVtrket street.
Th, Awotiated Preaa la exclusively en
titled to tha uaa for republication of all
dlapat Ilea credited to it aa- not olher-
w ia credited in thla paper, and also the
k"l news pubaahed herein.
A'l righla of republication of special dls
afi has herein are also reeeneU.
roRTLAMt. MMltt. JAMTART -. !.
foresaw. It is auite as likely as anr of Its own military reservations on the north of the llusoii and Diion line to women, have been working insidi-
the prophets to be rroved right. Self- I Pacific Coast, not a stick of which has obtain a"pluce in the record. ously to foist the same conditions upon
Interest, enlightened or otherwise, been cut- This timber is ripe and be- The figures have been compiled by men. It is hard to say whether they
has failed to accomplish the results I ginning to decay: If it is not cut soon, the division of records and research would have succeeded, but it seems
that were expected rrf iu
l WAR rROPHKt ll.S.
. WHAT KLME IS TIIKRK TO VOT
It Is hardly fair to accuse the City
Council of bad faith In its purpose
to take the (-cent fare ruling into
the courts. There has been Insistent
demand that the Council do some
thing about it, but no wise man has
United States, nearly all of them from
Kurope, but this dropped in the fiscal
year 1916-17 to less than 295,000. of
whom 105,000 came from Canada,
many of the latter being returning
Americans. In the same period 66,000
aliens sailed for Kurope, making the
It has been said that no Important come forward with a practical plan
vent ever came to pass in the world
that did not have a prophet. The
forecasters are always busy, especially
thoe who predict calamity and woe.
It is not remarkable that out of thou
sands of them, there should be some
to match every event. The prophet
who happens to hit off is always sure
cf an audience afterward. And then,
for staying or countermanding the
I'ubllc Service Commission's order.
It is suggested, for example, that
tha Council might permit return of
the Jitneys. The only obstacle to jit
ney transportation is a requirement.
made law through adoption by the
people of an ordinance initiated by
the people, that each motor vehicle
it will be lost. It is close to navisrable of Tuskeg-ee Institute, a nesxo Indus- that they have been making some
water, anda logging roads are near, trial school, with the evident purpose headway. The order of the commer-
which can be Quickly extended into it. of calling attention to the discrimina- cial economy board may have been a
Kvery condition requisite to rapid tion against this race. Some of the dispensation, mere is no telling to
logcing and milling exists. "crimes" enumerated clearly did not what lengths the designers would have
The attention, of various bureaus justify extreme measures, even by gone u tney naa jieia mil sway
and officers of the War Department lawful agencies, and there is no evi-
was railed to this supply of spruce, I dence that the offeyses against women
which is in Its own hands, months ago, I would not have been avenged promptly
when the cry for spruce first was by judge and jury
raised, but nothing has been done ex- I The fact is, indeed, that juries in
rent to Dass the buck. Letters are the South are usuallv certain to con-
still going the weary rounds of the vict upon reasonable evidence, and Dk that appealed to the mass of the this pr0spect still holds irood. but it
Circumlocution Office. Men are ready that judges would not remain long in people was, after all, the one most seen that readjustment of industrial
to buna railroads to It and to cut it. I office who did not impose full penal- worth writing. It is interesting to conditions is certain to follow, and
qualify for membership one must be
wholly unable to suggest means of cor
recting the things to which he vocifer
ously objects.
This announcement has created more
satisfaction than anythins that has
happened since the resignation of
net gain to our foreign population the Bryan as Secretary of State. Applk-a-
MARK TWAIN. LETTER WRITER.
"The literary theory of Mark Twain,
as set forth in his recently published
letters, seems to have been that the
smallest since the beginning of the
century. Prior to the entry of the
United States into the war, an official
survey indicated that 3,000,000 aliens
were planning to return to their homes,
which would offset all the immiKra
tion of the fout- years from 1913 to
1917. It is impossible to say whether
is
tions for membership hav been com
ing in bales and it is now believed that
the new lodge will be the largest in tho
city.
It has already been made known
that at the first monthly meeting of
the order speakers possessing special
qualifications will vociferate.
Not only will there be several who
will object with choicest expletives to
like Madame Thebes, he la honored operated for hire be bonded for $2500
until history discredits him.
Recent publication by the Journal
de Geneve of a collection of ancient
prophecies said by an Italian cleric
to have been made by Fra Gioviannl
about the year- 1600, In which the
for the protection of its patrons.
The bond ls an obstacle only be
cause bonding companies will not
bond jitneys at a price the jitneys can
afford to pay. Clearly the only rea
son for that is that the operation of
just been collected by Albert Bigelow
Paine and published by Harper's, his
view of the opinion of some critics
that his work was "coarse," or com.
mon. It is a striking coincidence that
chinery on a larger scale than ever facturer of clay pigreons and other war
will be necessary if the United States time necessities has been engaged to
is to hold its position of pre-eminence vociferate against tho fuel shortage
in trade. . shutdown.
A renowned astronomer has also been
nnest fnr.tnlri a war in which more Jitneys is naxaraous. 13 a veroici
lives would be sacrificed than ancient established by actuarial statistics.
Itome had for Inhabitants, recalls a
passage from Heine's "History of Re
ligion and Philosophy In Germany."
which ia being quoted widely since the
present war began. Three striking
fcttures of Heine's prophecy, viewed
in the after-light of the present, are
Ills forecast that the Germans would
destroy the cathedrals of thelr,enemy.
that aviators would be brought down
from the sky. and that the . British
would be at war in the deserts of
Africa. He foretold that the day
would come when "the fury of the
oM contests will reappear the wild
eagerness of which the Northern bards
have sung." and when the stone gods
would raise themselves from their for
gotten rubbish heaps and rub the dust
of a thousand years from their eyes.
And then: .
Trior, with his giant's hammer, wilt spring
forth and ahatter tha tSothlc cathedrals.
... Tha tttouaht lues before tha dead, aa
the lightning before tha thunder. Tha Ger
man thunder la Indeed German, and Dot tery
atmble. and moree along after a somewhat
aaiwurely faaaloo. but Ua lima will coma.
The Council has authority to re
peal a people's law. but such repeals
have been condemned, in the past by
those most insistent for return of
the Jitneys. Furthermore, it is a pro
posal to turn loose a transportation
system dangerous to those who patron
ize It. in order that those who will not
accept Its hazard may save a few
pennies.
The Oregonian does not believe
that wish to aid the streetcar company
actuated the public when it adopted
the bonding ordinance. Rather It was
realization, dearly bought by loss of
lives, that public safety is more im
portant than an irresponsible, unregu
lated transportation system. Did not
the same pople who imposed the
bond requirement approve four jit
ney franchises in the same election?
If some wise man will point out a
more practical, more sensible means
of securing return to the 6-cent fare.
he will then be justified in criticising
the Council for doing something else.
but it is surrounded by a barrier of ties. But such offenses as "refusing read. amonir these, letters, which have I that production by labor-savine ma- the 6-cent fare, but an Eastern manu
red tape .mar. is more impeneiraDie to get out or tne road ana Doing inso-
than a barbed wire entanglement, lent," "writing insolent letters," "steal-
If this timber were owned by an in-I ing a coat," "vagrancy" and "disput-
dividual. his attention would no soon-I ing a white man's word," upon which
er be called to its existence and to the some other lynchings were based, fell
urgent aemana ior it man ne wouia short of offering even an excuse wnicn mon. it is a siriKing coincidence mat a ,-, snStr i,, kMn ensued to evni.iin the nv(i that mav
set to work to cut it, but not so with any community proud of its law- his letter on this particular topic to the ministers of more than 50.000 rise from the total eclinse of the sun
the Government. Everything must be abiding character would regard as suf- should have been written 'to Andrew churches to requests for directions next June and to object vociferously to
acme lactjormng to tne sacreo. ritual o ficient. Lang, who was one of his sincere ad- what they can best do for enlisted this forthcomin
ii. o nuij itnupio oi neu tape. iiiai it ls easier to tneorize man to appiy mi, j ,, ,,, . c;,i men nnH to hln win th Th.
takes time, which is extremely valu- a practical remedy. But it would admire anything that was either coarse burden of the answer is that they
" i "". seem as n tne development oi cum- or common- But we may be thankful should make special efforts to "enlist
mmgs must oe cone mat a me munity pride ought some day to solve to the critics , that d lf for no the men in the pews" who heretofore
way they always have been done or the problem. Men who resort to I tl,0 ,.a.,n than tHat . J have not been active to rio the work
lynching, or stand idly by while it is Mark Twain a text for the letter he of the church formerly in the hands
Deing perpetrated, ao not Heem m wrote in reply. . of those who have entered the Na
realize that by their actions tney con
they shall not be done at all
The last resort of the devotee of
red tape, when called upon to think
and act in disregard of the ritual, is
to plead that he ha3 no official infor-
outrage. a
The members of the order are as
sured by the Most Extreme Vociferino
that none of the deliberations or
business of the meetine will h rlis-
otner reason tnan tnat they, gave ""i- "ecu active, to uo me worn turbed by presentation of relief meas
ures, which, as everybody knows, lead
wrote in reply. i muoo wuu
It was his view that "tho thin ton tional service. These are to be told
fess their incapacity Jor maintaining crU!jt of humanity the cultivated that the home base must be kept
orderly government. Yet if it were
The philosopher went on to say that
at the sound of the German thunder
the eagles would fall dead from the
air. and the lions in the farthest d ca
rnation. For example, the spruce intimated to them that they were not
business, may be none of his business, for self-government, they would
but ne may Know intimately the man hotly resent the insinuation.
wnose otisiness it is. wouia ne mane
a frlendlv stitrtrestion thnt. it wottlrl be
a coo thing to cut the snruce on mil- THE NEED OF CHAPLArXS.
itary .reservations? Never in a thou- There has been an lntere.stitng ais-
sand years. Ready as his friend may cussion recently of things that make
be to adoDt a suceestion as to personal the ideal Army chaplain. - It seems to
affairs, he would be highly affronted be agreed that a high degree of tact
f officially, of course) by a sucrErestion ls the first essential, bermon corn-
regarding official business with which position and the tweedle nee ana
the other man had nothing, officially, tweedle dum of theology are perhaps
to do. His brain Is divided into two the least useful knowledge. The chap-
eomnnrtmentH liv a. solid wall When I Iain is a commissioned Officer, DUt
his official brain was workiner. he with a certain difference in the aisci-
might walk right up to a spruce tree, plinary scheme between him and other
but he would not know that that tree commissioned officers. His relation
was there until he had raised a bump with officers and privates is intimate
on his unofficial forehead. and confidential. Yet it is easy for
The Sacred Order of Red Tare Is a chaplain to overdo the "good fel-
flrmlv determined that this war shall low" attitude. The wrong kind of
spartn nrr rnr tmmr.
Remedy for railroad congestion is be fought in strict accord with its familiarity breeds contempt. Dignity
largely a matter of distributing the ritual. Rather let it be lost than won
Kullr e, Ipnfflii nvae n eiMatoe nnmhap blT rl inrrscof II 1 1 V Irracnillir linoffintnl
erts of Africa would droop their tails of roada and of diverting a large part methods. It. matters not that the
of it to water lines. . The blockade I Germans, duly reverent as they are to
in the Northeastern states Is caused I their own red tape, have no respect be ready to share the risks as well as
by the attempt to force 80-per cent whatever for the American brand. I the hardships of the service, oiucn is
of the Imports and exports through I The first requisite to victory is to summed up in the expression a man s
ing to uplift, but the "mighty mass
of the uncultivated who are under
neath." This letter is, perhaps, the
most "illuminating of the entire col
lection. In it Twain goes on to say:
That mass will never see the Old Masters
that sight is for the few: but the chromo
maker can lift them all one step upward
toward appreciation of art; they cannot have
tne opera, but the hurdy-gurdy and the sing
ing class lift them a little way toward that
far light: they will never know Homer, but
the passing rhymster of their day leaves them
higher than he found them; they may never
even hear of the Latin classics, but they will
strike step with Kipling's drum-beat, and
they will march; for all Jonathan Edwards'
help they would die in their slums, but the
Salvation Army will beguile some of them up
to pure air and a cleaner life; they know
no Scripture, the Venus is not even a name
that is not forced is necessary to com- I to them, but they are a grade higher in the
are worth pacifying, worth pleasing, strong, and no door closed for lack of
worth coddling," but that the job of men. Other things recommended are
catering to that faction was "no very tlie preparation and dedication of
dignified or valuable occupation." It service flags, keeping in touch with
was not the minority who are already all members at the front, co-operation
saved that he regarded as worth try- with reform agencies and "constant
presentation irom the pulpit of the
general cause of Christian democracy
for which the war, is waged." War
councils of many denominations are
establishing bureaus to give special
emphasis to these points, to answer
inquiries and to foster the organiza
tion of all desirable war-time ac
tivities.
only to profitless discussib'n and ill-
feeling.
This is a strictly vocifeTa
rating order.
Progrreas ol Civilization.
Skull Spring Sentinel!
This thriving village takes nobody's
dust figuratively speaking this being
a sagebrush country. It now boasts
possession of one of the best and busi
est self-kidders east of Wagon Tire
Mountain. He is Sim Flicker, son of
S. S. Flicker, proprietor of the Skull
Spring Mercantile Emporium.
Sim, by staying away from the
movies, acquired enough money to buy
what was left of Pike Disher's tin
lizzie after the Mew Year's party in
other words, the running gear. Sim
Reports that the Krupps intend to
establish a new plant at Munich. Ba
varia, indicate that they are preparing has put an extra large coal skuttle over
for the possibility that their main
plant at Essen will fall into the hands
of the allies, as it is only sixty miles
: Is. But the prophecy other Atianc porta all the way
.wWek Vth ,'T?'ct Maine to Florida are capable of
and creep into their royal dens. Read
r of prophecies, who muat be learned
In the language of, symbolism, trans
late "eagles of the air" as the aviators
of the present day, and see In the ref
erence to the lion the British nation
whose emblem It is.
would seem to
to the creeping of the lion Into its den.
Africa has been the scene of a series
of rather complete victories for the
allies, and the British lion has made
headway at every desert point where
he has been engaged. A restored
Kgypt and recent advances in I 'ales
tine, and the declaration of Arabs In
favor of the allies have gone far to
confute the prophet.
The Italian priest was even more
specific. He Is quoted by his sponsor,
who bean Italian of the present time,
as declaring that the "real Antichrist
will be a monarch, a son of Luther."
He will have only one arm, and "his
Innumerable armies, the motto of
which wilt be God with us.' will re
semble infernal legions." The de
scription fits the Kaiser with exacti
tude. Kqually precise would seem to
b the declaration that "his sword will
be like that of the Christians, but hit
arts will take for their patterns those
of Nero and of the Roman persecu
tors." Also "he will have pity for no
one: he will massacre priests, monks,
women, old men and children; and.
like the barbarians of old. he will
carry a torch in his hand with which
he wilt overrun the world In the name
of God."
There Is another record of a proph
ecy, not o well authenticated but In
teresting because of the details which
It gives, said to have been unearthed
In the razing of an old monastery in
Mecklenberg. which describes the
murder of a Prince which shall pre
cipitate a war. in which a "sovereign
who mounts hi horse from the wrong
side" will be encompassed by a ring
of enemies. There will be wagons
without horses and dragons will fly
through the air, and men will lie In
wait in the seas for their prey. But
mand respect.
The ideal chaplain is absolutely
fearless, but not foolhardy. He must
scale of civilization by the ministrations of
the plaster-cast than they were before it
took Its place upon their mantel and made
it beautiful to their unexacting eyes.
Twain could not read George Eliot
or Hawthorne with patience, and Sir
Walter Scott was anathema to him.
the bottle neck leading to New York I shove the whole red tape brigade into man," which is not easy to define. But and his letters show that he did not
harbor, while
the roads leading to
from
han
dllng a larger volume of traffic, and
other porta than New York are in the
same position as these roads. Relief
the Potomac River.
there must be no question about it rcgard it as honest to pretend to like
The chaplain who does not measure an author just because he was podu-
up to this standard would better stayiar in the upper literary circles and
home. I it was "the thing to do." The fact
Not the least important phase or nis that stands out in the letters is his
wieV frnrrt thA Tloint Of VI P W Of the I 0-eAof clnnapltir a n A fhia t,a aiiKI
aaillO pusiliuu aus uieacj luuus. ncul:l nat faw van ea wotil.l unonl t Tiava I ' - - &, tw tj.ut;, .ij , emu L , uvutsb,
could be had by distributing 'traffic . . ?o,inH ot r.Hmi rn church in general, is the opportunity wUi account for a large measure of his
among all Atlantic ports and among v. JTI?,"!. -. "- 't Sivo to inspire interest in re- almost universal popularity. They
ligion that shall endure after the war I showed that he wrote, as he read, for
is over. It is conceded that our new the joy of doing it, and without hy'poc-
COXTROLLING VICE.
The experience of New York in con
trolling commercialized vice In the I
K all Atlantic ports and among I . , h ev
ail the roads which serve them, and I dpr tnose wno nav. persistentIy
uy ai.tit, . .u.ri , mo contended that the thing simply can-
from the Belgian frontier, and only
150 miles from Verdun as aircraft
would travel. If the allies should
reach the Rhine in Westphalia, Essen
would be only fifteen miles from the
battlefront and might be bombarded
so frequently from the air as to be
untenable for the civil population.
Munich is farther toward the interior
of Germany, near the foothills of the
Alps, and in a more secure position.
Location of the Krupp works there
would please the Bavarians, who have
been restive under Prussian control
and have been inclined to join Austria
in the peace movement. An armament
works would be an aid to militarism.
the engine arrff has installed a sort of
reclining seat and a muffler cut out.
When Sim steps on her he has no
difficulty at all in kidding himself
that he is a Speed Demon from Some-
where.
Some folks have no trouble at all in
getting pleasure out of life.
also.
A parallel situation exists on the
Pacific Coast, though in less aggra
vated form. Traffic has become con
centrated at San Francisco, when it
should be divided among all ports all
the way from Blaine to San Diego.
Attention should be given not only to
fuller use of I'ortland and of other
Puget Sound ports than Seattle, but
to use and development of all the
lesser ports cf the entire Coast. The
transportation and port system of the
country suffers from the same lop
sided development, which Ben Hur
avoided when, as a galley 'slave, he
Induced his master to let him .row
turn about with each arm and thus
Insure symmetrical muscular develop
ment.
The same statement applies to non
use of waterways. A 1000-ton barge
on the Erie Canal would release
twenty freight cars for loading in the
west and would relieve the glut of
traffic of terminals to that extent. If
the waterways were developed and
used the railroads would need little
of that billion dollars a year for iru
provements of which the late J. J. Hill
spoke.
not be done in a large city. Upon
this point the report of the Bureau of
Social Hygiene, established by John
I. Rockefeller. Jr., in 1912. is illu
minating. It shows that the police
can do their duty, if they will, and
peace problems will be complicatea rjsy: that he put his real self into
and that the church will nave tne every line.
chance of its life to become a ractor it wm be remembered that when
In the social readjustment that is ex- -x Connecticut Yankee at King
oected. The minister who has served Arthur's Court" was offered to the
as chaplain will be the possessor of a British public, the book was coldly
liberal education in the hunianities received because of its irreverent atti-
The utter failure of the doctrinaires
to comprehend the practical side of a
problem is illustrated by the proposal
of a New York Alderman that the city I for a census to determine which has the
The Society for the Suppression of
War Poetry, which meets exclusively
in the Peripterous, as will be noted by
the most-casual inspection of the Pub
lie Forum, is about ready to " a up.
Its prose anfidotes for war poetry
poisoning do not seem to allay tno
epidemic. The society has expressed a
desire to submit its problem to tho
Pacifist Board of Scientific Investiga
tion, but has found that organization
overwhelmed with a corelated problem.
The Pacifist Board is now feverishly
engaged in preliminary organization
purchase 75,000 tons of coal to relieve
the fuel shortage. But if the city
could purchase that much coal, there
would be no famine to relieve.
that publicity Is a powerful social I e(lucation that he could obtain in tude toward accepted Institutions.
prophylactic,
It
no other way. The. ex-chaplains of I js not so well known that the author's
There is a fine symbolism in the
planting of acorns on the campus of a
, , . - , 1 1 U IfllH., - - 1 io v Y, t II xtuuwu iliac hid auiuui a
The latest report of the Bureau of , ho.ild he miehtv force i ,.kiii,. .... ,ii
Social Hygiene is a comprehensive f goodif the right men are chosen of the book to meet the popular taste. state university No student now at
fnmnarUAn or nraMnnr eftnrtitioni wltn I I I t." ........ n,iii i;,.A .-; t ;n .v.- .. i, . . , j nj
comparison of present conditions with
those of five years ago. That which
Is roughly classified as "commercial
ized vice" was in its heydey in 1912,
when suppressive measures were un
dertaken. These measures at first
compelled withdrawal of vice from
its established resorts, and efforts
were made to reestablish it In new
forms or in unaccustomed places. But
the campaign was continued, and it
at the outset.
KCONO.HY A1 STYLE.
The recent appeal of the commercial
economy board of the Council of Na
tional Defense to manufacturers of
men's clothing to "reduce still fur
ther. If oossible. the number of
models, and to avoid models that use
cloth for needless adornment," will
was found that with every enforced come as a surprise to those who sup-
change the vice resort was materially posed that women had a monopoly of
weakened. .The net result has been re- frills ami furbelows and that men were
duction in the number' of resorts in little Influenced by the modes In their
He replied that he had shown the
'Yankee" to William Dean Howells,
to Edmund Clarence Stedman and to
Mrs. Clemens, and that Mrs. Clemens
had persuaded him to strike out sev
eral passages and to soften others.
But further than that he would not go.
He may have had in mind the storm
caused on this side of the Atlantic by
the caricature of Americans by Charles
Dickens, particularly in "Martin Chuz-
zlewitt," when he added:
We are spoken of by the Englishmen as a.
thin-skinned people. It is you who are thin-
ikinned. An Englishman may write with
Eugene will live' to sit in the shade of
the trees, but it is pleasing to think
that some may perform deeds that
will be remembered as long as the
oaks endure.
The Norddeutsche Allgemeine Zeit-
ung says that our Army in France con
sists mostly of doctors, woodcutters
and railway men. Even if that were
true, we have never heard that the
professions mentioned disqualified
men from making good on a march
to Berlin.
Until those ships, loaded with sup-
ODeration. reduction In number of ner- choice of garb. The average business the moat brutal frankness about any man or
sons engaged in the business, and also man will have impressed the casual f."7""" nisa for o,.r allies have snrreeoVo in
In compelling a degree of secrecy which observer as having been cast in a a .ord But England cannot stand that fining their bunkers. Dr. Garfield will
greatly reduced temptation. It is not I mold. Slight variations of style have kind of a book written about herself, it is I have a long way the bettea of the ar-
ciaimea mat tne institution nas been been made in tne past iew years, dui """- .--"-- V
greater output, the war Knitters or
the war versifiers.
On return from its errand of inquiry
at the headquarters or the facltist
Board of Scientific Investigation the
Society for the Suppression of War
Poetry was further discouraged by
finding that that sweet singer of sym
phonious pseudonym, Alyce Rosalyee
Rustung, had been stricken by tho epi
demio. This is hern:
Cased I11II.
The poets are chanting "Old Berlin"
To drown the deaf'ning cannon's din;
There's naught we want in old Berlin,
Except the Kaiser's tough old skin.
But why not trap him safe and
sound
Then cage exhibit him around:
No such wild beast was ever found
On this green earth nor Satan's ground.
War loans and bonds could cease to bey
For billions would be paid to see
CAGiilJ BILii we know his pedigree a
Throughout this country of the free.
wiped out,-out me lact mat tne num- until recently tney naa ueen negutiuie, my languaKn which have been made in my
bcr of resorts has been reduced to 1 7 I upon the whole. English editions to fit them for the seusi
HASTY MARKIAGE-. per cent of the number in existence But it appears that there ls room tive English palate.
Ministers of Milwaukee who have in 1912 ls rather convincing testimony for economy in the fashioning of men's But, even then, no doubt, Mark
risen In arms against the so-called to the effectiveness of determined pub- suits. 'The economy board asks for Twain was enjoying himself. It is one
"red tape" marriage law enacted by lie sentiment, exercised through the the elimination of yokes and pleats, thing to be a humorist and quite an
the last Wisconsin Legislature have agency of a vigorous police depart- of patch pockets from fully lined other to be always in a good humor,
stirred up a live topic for discussion, ment. coats, of collars. from vests, flaps from When one thinks of the long list of
there are flaws in both these prophe- whether or not Governor Phllipp ac- The method of attack In New York trousers' pockets, cloth belts from modern authors who take their lives
cies.
gument in support of a fuel embargo.
Despite the mistakes of the past, a
condition and not a theory now con
fronts us.
Also, the physician and surgeon in
charge of the campaign against the war
poetry epidemic found this right on his
instrument, where it was left, it ls be
lieved, by the now well-known poet of
mystery, disguised this time as a Ked
It would be a serious mistake to
neglect the war garden in 1918, and
the state campaign proposed by the I Cross nurse:
A Tip to Wllhelm
When Billy Bryan starts to booze.
Oregon Agricultural College deserves
That of Fra Gioviannl placed cedes to their request to include the has been the one known in the par- trousers, fancy pocket flaps, and a lot and themselves too seriously, one is . . n.rsistence tn well-doine- will be
the date of the beginning of "the war subject in his call for a special session lance as "keeping them on the run." of other unnecessary frills which have all the more thankful to Mark Twain npdd in everv department to win the
at 2000 A. D. The Mecklenberg seer I of the Legislature. The objectionable Vice cannot flourish under, conditions been added almost without our realiz- for having lived. Mark Twain was
was careful not to commit himself as I feature of the law seems to be the I so adverse as those created by the po- ing it. Double-breasted coats are to essentially not a pot-DOiier sort or
to the time of beginning, but he ers. I provision that the names Of aoplicants 1 lice with the assistance of determined be placed under the ban. as a measure author. We know that there were
dieted that the conflict would reach! for marriage licenses shall be posted citizens. Concurrent measures in- of National economy. Some millions times when he was hard pressed flnan-
Its height -when the cherries bloom I on a bulletin board in the office of the eluded enactment of a state law re- of yards of cloth, in the aggregate, cially, but that'ne did not write merely
the third time." and that peace would County Cleric for five days preceding quiring licenses for certain occupa- will be saved for other uses with no for the money to be derived from
be consummated "in time for the I the marriage. The ministers denv that I tions. legitimate in themselves, but I corresponding sacrifice of utility. writing. His letters and his books
Christmas mass." That time Is already I they are Influenced by mercenary mo- I which had been employed as a cloak I It Is worthy of note that the appeal I breathe the same spirit. He made
In the past. I lives, although 60 per cent of those for vice. This resulted in no embar- was directed to the manufacturers good bargains witn his publishers
Heine, as a matter of fact, mar not who would normally be married in I rassment to those legitimately em- themselves. It shows us that men, no when he could, but he did not speed
have claimed for himself the gifts I Wisconsin are said to be going to ad-1 ployed. Saloons which formerly ca- less than women, are quite helpless up production on account of them, or
which are now attributed to him. joining states, and the loss in marriage tered to Immoral trade were reached when it comes to fixing styles, al- give poor measure if he thought he
needed in every department to win the
war.
The libraries are still culling for
good books for the soldiers. If every
one would contribute the books he
owns but does not read and never will
read, the call would be not for books
but for a lot of big buildings in which
to house them.
He wrote as a philosopher deeply! fees In -Milwaukee alone Is estimated I through the license bureau. It was
acquainted with the well-springs of I at $25,000 a year. found that control of conditions on
the German' nature. He knew the! Although Jhe law contains the seeds I the streets was a simple matterof de-
ptople of whom he wrote, and the I of its own evasion, and ls unenforce-1 tective work. Vice, once bold and
probably sensed the reign of force table as to those who are most In need I aggressive, now slinks in the shadows
which he typifies in his reference to I of It. and. therefore, perhaps ls un-1 and lurks in the. byways. But it can
the great rod Trior. It would require I wise. It will serve as a reminder that not prosper on a large scale in this
no supernatural provision, for ex-1 the practice of marrying in haste ls I manner, and great numbers of .social
growing, and will suggest -the thought I parasitica have been compelled to
that this may account for the concur- seek honest employment to live,
rent Increase in the number of di- It Is perhaps true that men and
vorces which Is giving genuine con- women cannot be made moral by law,
cern to sociologists. It is probably aa but It Is shown to be reasonably pos-
true as it ever was that those who sible to creute better conditions for a
marry without deliberation are likely rising generation, while the more
to repent when they have time for re- hardened sinners of the present are
flection. Easy divorce has stimulated being chastened. The chief gain by
fhe New 1 ork campaign has been the
ample, to say:
Tie aura that hour will coma. Aa upon
tha ateps of aa amphitheater arlll tha na
tions of tha earth group themselvea around
titrmknr. ... Toa know that whaa we
make up out mlrda to quarrel with you
wa ahall aaae a difficulty la finding suf
Octant grouSHla.
An example of prophecy in Its legitl.
mate function Is furnished by the Rev.
Frederick W. Robertson, who preached I hasty marriages, and the hasty mar-
a sermon In 1S52 In tendon in which nage has Increased the number of dl-
he said that the world had tried to vorces. The chain has no end. But
construct itself Into a family, first by It does not help the situation,
the sword, second by an ecclesiastical It Is not easy to understand why
tem. and. third, by the development some persons objm-t to publicity about
of commerce. The first two had failed, their weddings. They are nothing to
he declared, and the third was about I be ashamed of quite the contrary.
to fail. He denied the power of self -1 Yet every license clerk and every ofli-
blow it has dealt to the business of
recruiting for vice, and the destruc
tion of the profits of exploiters. The
vicious "cadet" system has gone on
the rocks. There Is no profit in it, as
of old. It is no Knger practical to
mislead the ignerant with tales of the
attractiveness of a life of shameful
though it is still doubtful whether had been badly treated, as he said
they could be Induced to be bound byl whimsically that he had been when
them quite so slavishly. It has long Howells paid him only twenty dollars
vAn -vnnMn th.i ,a nunea of fmi I a no p-a for bin "old Mississippi"
nine dress reform was quite out of the sketches which were published in the government.
control of women. The classical I Atlantic. It seems clear that he was
method of stimulating trade has been possessed all his life by the desire to
to introduce new fashions befere gar- write whatever occurred to his excep-
ments bought in the .preceding season tionally active mind, and that he put
had been worn out. And because we as much of himself into his letters to
live In an age of ready-made, it was his friends as he did into the articles
auite Impossible for those who wished he wrote for publication
to dress "sensibly" to do so. if the Letters that he wrote but never
vogue happened to be otherwise. The I mailed are among the gems of the col
When Pershing gets cold feet,
When Billy Sunday prays for you.
When Woodrow starts to cheat
When Spreckels starts to Hooverize,
When Teddy put wilt stay,
When you look like George Washing
ton
You'll lick the U. S. A.
When Sahara winds start freezin".
When sky ain't sky no more,
When the sun gets cold as Iceland,
When three times six is four
When the stars quit shinin', Willy,
When apple trees grow hay.
When Uncle Sam ain't worth a d m
You'll lick the U. S. A.
Democracy may be not quite so effi
cient as autocracy when it comes to
preparing for war, but it is yet to be
demonstrated that people who have
tasted it prefer any other brand of when John D. dies a pauper.
When us folks is all dubs.
When boys and girls stop spoonin'
retailer was no more to blame than
the ultimate "consumer." It is a curi
ous fact that merchants who really
believed that they were following pub
lic demand were only following the
dictates of the manufacturer. The
chain of responsibility was endless;
the effect always was the same a
needless waste of clothing. '
J'A Looker On," writing in the Bos
ton Pilot, which is published near the
center of the textile industry, notes
lection. Mr. Paine says that Twain
often wrote on the spur of the mo
ment, and then, after having freed his
mind, suppressed what he had writ
ten. It is a practice worth commend
ing to a good many others. Among
these unmailed letters are a dozen
which reveal that Twain and General
Grant, son of the President, planned
a bogus correspondence about a benefit
for the Robert Fulton Memorial Asso
ciation, at which Twain was to be one
Those young people who are plan
ning to call off their dance early to
save fuel should .cultivate some of the
old-fashioned steps, which furnish
plenty of exercise to keep one warm.
When we make war with clubs
When the moon elopes with Venus,
When lambs with tigers play.
When you've licked ev'ry Yankee lad
You'll lick the U. S. A.
Wouldn't it be a good idea for the
style makers to decree that o'eralls
are fashionable, and for their wearers
to try to live up to their clothes until
the war is over?
The Bolsheviki are long on talk and
short on effective administration.
While they are planning a workless
life for the proletariat, it is next to
impossible to get food in Petrograd.
The less a dollar will buy the mon
we want one.
How to Get Family Allowance.
PORTLAND, Jan. 18. (To the Edi
tor.) About one year ago my son,
aged IS years, enlisted in the regular
Army. Before enlisting he gave me Jo
per month toward the support of my
self and three other children, all
younger than him, I being a wftlow.
Since enlisting he has only been able
to send $10 each month. I am told that
the Government pays an additional 115
per month. To whom should I apply?
a subscribe:.
Write
su: a nee.
In K:ireau o
Wai hingtcn,
r War
D. C.
Riak Ai-