fllE SUNDAY OKEGOXIAN, PORTLAND. SEPTEMBER 21. 1913.
6
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niiilUM), SUNDAY. SEPT. si. it
OX TUB GRASSHOPPER CIRCUIT.
Mr. Rn-an'j latest answer to the
critics of his Chautauqua divagations
does not leave him In. a better posl-
tion before the country- He complains
of misrepresentation; but he does not
take the trouble to say In what the
misrepresentation consists except pos
sibly as to his absences from his post
of duty. He frankly says that he has
made $6500 out of his lectures and we
are to assume that he is well satis
fled with the addition of so consider
able a. sum to his $12,000 salary.
Cabinet officer ought to be able to
live fairly well on $18,500 a year.
Other Cabinet officers have had to be
content with less and have not com
plained nor resorted to circus meth-
ods to tret more money.
The circus methods of Mr. Bryan
axe apparent In the Chautauqua ad
- vertisements. Here Is an extract from
'a Kansas paper, announcing various
attractions for a local Chautauqua:
New York City Marine Band.
Avon Sketch Club.
English Opera Quintet.
Neopolitan Troubadours.
William Jennings Brjan.
Elliot A. Boyl.
Sears the Taffy Man.
I.orenso Bwlckey.
Ed Amherst Oct.
The Oregonian Is not informed as to
the stunts performed by all these
artists: but it is obvious that a vaude
ville hue Is given to the happy family
group thus appearing together on the
grasshopper circuit.
Mr. Bryan gets $230 a lecture.
Moreover, under his contract, he takes
the first $250 coming in. and the next
$250 goes to the association, and the
balance is evenly divided between Mr.
Bryan and the association. "What hap
pens if the first $250 should not mate
rialize Is perhaps not worth inquiry.
since the superior attraction of a See
retary of State on the vaudeville stage
always produces large financial re
sults. But there is at least one Chau
tauqua association in Oregon that has
been brought to a realization of the
fact that Mr. Bryan Insists upon the
fulfillment of his contract to the last
cent. He takes no chances. A Cabl
net officer worrying along with only
$12,000 a year regular salary cannot
afford to take chances.
If a Secretary of State Is worth $250
a performance what would a President
be worth?
EMANCIPATE AMERICAN SHIPS.
For more than a year foreign-built
ships engaged in foreign trade and
owned by American citizens have been
admissible to American register, but
not one has taken advantage of that
privilege. Subsidy-seekers are scof
fing and others are asking the reason
Some shipowners and seamen are of
fering explanations. They show that
it is idle to admit foreign-built ships
to American register unless we set
them free to operate as economically
as foreign-owned ships. "We open the
do'or to them, but pile obstructions
in the entrance. They naturally look
through the doorway and then turn
aside.
Robert Dollar tells of some of these
obstructions in the San Francisco
Dally Journal of Commerce. One is
that American measurement of cargo
steamers is 30 per cent larger than
foreign. proportionately increasing
payments for tonnage tax, dry-dock
ing, pilotage, etc Another Is that
American law requires larger crews.
On this coast steamers must carry
four quartermasters, while foreign
vessels select from the crew men to
do this work. In the engine-room
one extra engineer and three water
tenders are added, though they "do
nothing but draw pay they do not
earn," as Mr. Dollar expresses it. The
new law adds an extra mate, and if
the crew exceeds 50, a wireless plant
and two wireless operators. These
extra harm's, at the present scale of
wages on the Pacific Coast, add $8220
a year to the cost of operating a
steamer.
American requirements as to boiler
Inspection and life-saving equipment
are more expensive. At the expiration
of each year American vessels are re
quired to stop for Inspection at the
first American port at which they
call, though they could save time .and
money both to themselves and the
Government by going to their homo
port. Foreign Inspectors so arrange
their work as not to interfere with a
ship's loading or discharging, while
American inspectors are not so con
siderate. The consequence is that)
while in 1805 the cost of operating an
English ship was double that of op
erating an American ship, the tables
have now been turned. Mr. Dollar
states that the daily cost of operating
the British steamer M. S. Dollar, of
6600. tons. Is $100 Jl. while it costs
$133.15 a day to operate the American
steamer Grace Dollar, of only 2300
tons.
Foreign ships could be deprived of
much of their advantage over Ameri
can ships were seamen relieved of the
penalty of imprisonment for violation
of a purely civil contract of service.
If a sailor deserts, he may be im
prisoned, though a landsman who
quits his Job In violation of a con
tract is subject only to civil suit. Had
a sailor In an American port the same
freedom, foreign ships plying to our
j-orts would be compelled to pay
American wages In order to secure
crews. Our sailors would become free
and our ships would escape one of
the handicaps under which they labor.
The rich nations of Europe are
those "which carry the world's com
merce and levy tribute on other na
tions in the shape of freight money.
Their ships also build up their own
commerce. The abundance or scarc
ity of ocean tonnage regulates the
amount of this tribute and actually
adjusts the price of the staple com
modities they carry. The withdrawal
from commerce of British ships for
service in the Boer War raised freights
on the Pacific Coast to such a point
that the farmers received 25 cents a
bushel less than the year before.
Thus the farmers of the Pacific
Northwest indirectly contributed over
$4,000,000 to the expenses of the Boer
War. We are dependent on foreign
nations for means of marketing our
products abroad and if England and
Germany should engage in war, use of
their ships as transports might send
freight to famine figures and leave
our farmers with surplus crops on
their hands, because ships were not
procurable. Hence the revival of the
merchant marine is a question "which
vitally concerns inhabitants of the
Interior, and not merely those of the
seaboard states.
Subsidies have proved a costly fail
ure in restoring the merchant ma
rine. A discriminating duty on good
carried in foreign ships will not ac
compllsh our end. Enabling Amerl
cans to buy, ships in the cheapest
market is not sufficient, though it is
a srood beginning: we must enable
them to operate as cheaply as the for
eigner. To do this we need but re
move the existing restrictions and put
our ships on the same footing as for
elgn ships in all respects.
INJURING EASTERN OREGOX.
Pendleton Is a thriving and growing
city located in the heart of a great
producing district. The prosperity oi
Pendleton arises from and depends
largely upon the industry of the farm
era and sheepmen of Umatilla County,
Whatever is good for the farmers and
sheepmen is good for Pendleton; what
ever is bad for the farmers and sheep
men is bad for Pendleton. The farms
of Umatilla County yield annually
from 4,000,000 to 6,000,000 bushels of
grain; the ranches and ranges support
hundreds of thousands of sheep and
produce annually several million
pounds of wool. Wheat and wool are
the life of Pendleton and of Umatilla
County.
It is surprising therefore to discover
the Pendleton East Oregonian ardently
supporting Senator Chamberlain and
Senator Lane in their strange position
on wool and grain bags. Headstrong
partisanship has seldom, gone farther.
Like the Oregon Senators, the Pendle
ton paper is far more solicitous for
the success of the Democratic party
than it is for the welfare of its own
constituency. Devotion to a cause.
however mistaken, could hardly go
farther. Or is it mere stubborn and
unreasoning partisan "prejudice and
the payment of political- obligations?
The Pendleton paper wonders why
The Oregonian should condemn the
Senators for their advocacy of a "Re
publican principle" in retaining a tar
iff on grain bags. "How," it asks,
can The Oregonian with sincerity
denounce Senator Chamberlain and the
Democratic caucus for the slight lean
Ing toward Republicanism?" The plea
that if it is good enough for the Re
publican party, it is good enough for
Chamberlain and the Democratic cau
cus hardly meets the case.
Raw Jute, from which grain bags
and wool bags are made, was on the
free list in the Dingley and Payne-
Aldrich bills. The Underwood bill has
therefore contrived no new policy for
raw Jute; but it has Imposed a ten
per cent tariff on Jute bags. Senator
Jones, a Republican, proposed to
make grain bags free, and the whole
Democratic caucus. Chamberlain and
Lane Included, resisted on the extra
ordinary ground that they desired to
protect American industry. Yet there
no such American Industry worth
mentioning, or worth considering in
lew of the paramount interest of the
farmers and ranchers who buy and
use the bags for grain, wool and pota
toes.
Senator Chamberlain and Senator
Lane have put themselves in the inde
fensible position of voting to remove
the duty on wool, which duty would
have benefited the Oregon producer,
and to retain the duty on grain bags.
which duty will be costly to the Ore
gon producer. Let them wiggle out
of their dilemma if they can.
NEW YORK'S CHOICE OF EVILS.
One can understand, though not ex
cuse, the readiness of many people in
New York State to condone the of
fenses of Governor Sulzer when one is
Informed of the methods of Tammany,
which would prevail if a man of its
choice became Governor. These meth
ods are illustrated by Tammany's deal
lngs with a contract for work on the
new aqueduct from the Catskills to
New York City.
The lowest bidder was a Kentucky
corporation, but actual awarding of
the contract was likely to be indefl
nitely postponed unless the .Kentucki
ans "accelerated" proceedings. They
did so, according to court testimony, by
paying $30,000 to James E. Gaffney
for "advice." Mr. Gaffney is the
friend and partner of Charles F. Mur
phy and is the same man whom the
Tammany boss wished Governor Sulzer
to intrust with the expenditure of
$50,000,000 on state roads. If he had
got the Job, there is no doubt the $50,-
000,000 would have been spent, but
there Is grave doubt whether the state
would have got good roads.
The people of New York are driven
to choose between a man who misap
plied funds given him In trust by, his
friends and who, when detected, tried
to hide behind his wire s skirts, and a
gang of men who use political power
ystematically to rob the people and
then use some of the plunder to per
petuate their power. , The people
are not safe in the hands of Mr. Sul
zer, for he has proved lacking in In
tegrity, and they may well feel that
policy, not conscience, restrains him
from robbing them. But they are sure
that Tammany, If given power, would
rob them.
New York probably would fain dis
card both Sulzer and Murphy as rul
ers, but whom shall it put In their
places? It imagines the choice to be
between the known and the potentially
dishonest and seems inclined to choose
the latter. But is that necessary?
urely there are other honest and ca
pable men similar to Justice Hughes
among its millions. It is not neces
sary to sustain a Sulzer in order to
defeat a Tammany.
The chairman of the Democratic
state committee of Massachusetts, one
Riley, considers It his duty to save
the party from the disastrous effects
of the direct primary law by having
the committee force candidates on the
ticket. He says those who attempted
to foist themselves upon the party by
securing the necessary number of sig
natures to their nomination papers
must be shown the error of their ways.
He does not seem to realize that the
very purpose of the direct primary is
to enable men to "foist themselves
upon the party" in Just that way in
disregard of the wishes of the party
committee. He .is a survival from a
bygone political era. He still Imag
ines that the bosses know better what
is good for the party than the party
itself. The Progressive state commit
tee is in much the same position, for
it has assumed the right to select the
candidates. The Republican party
alone has not interfered with the
right of any man who can secure the
required number of signatures to have
his name on the ballot. What has
become of that rule of the people, of
which we heard so much a year ago?
Is the old, reactionary, corrupt, boss
ridden Republican party to be its sole
champion?
CO-OPERATIVE KITCHENS.
Co-operative housekeeping has had
a curious history. While every openly-proclaimed
effort to put it in prac
tice has been a failure, it has never
theless been making steady progress
in ways that are scarcely noticeable.
The co-operative kitchen from which
so much was promised years ago in the
height of the Bellamy fever, never has
come up to expectations, but for all
that the family kitchen with its dead
ly stove, its smells and waste, has
steadily given -way to the restaurant of
the apartment-house and hotel.'
Thousands of families now take two
or three meals In a public place every
week whose progenitors would have
been shocked to think of such a per
formance. It has become a widespread
fashion to engage a table at some res
taurant for Thanksgiving, Christmas
and similar holiday occasions. Of
course this is desirable from every
point of view, since the family have
better food to eat and the housewife
Is relieved from the torment .of over
work. In many cases the home kitch
en has been abandoned altogether and
the household takes all its meals at
some public place.
But this practice Is not commend
able. Family discipline suffers at pub
lic tables. Children become pert. Im
proper food is devoured and too much
of it. The elders lose their appetites.
No matter how excellent the cookery
may be there comes to most restaurant
habitues a time when "everything
tastes Just alike." A recent Invention
may relieve this difficulty. In some
of the ultra-modern flat buildings res
taurants have been established which
proceed on a plan quite novel. -
The families living in the building
obtain their food from the restaurant
but it Is eaten in their private dining
rooms. They send their orders down
to the kitchen exactly as they would to
their own cook, if they had one." They
can choose such food as they like and
have It cooked in any way they may
select. When they are ready for it
the dumb waiter delivers the various
courses and the family consume them
from their own dishes, using their own
linen and cutlery. This seems to solve
the problem of the co-operative kitch
en as far as it admits of solution.
PROPERTY TS. LIFE.
A recent prosecution under the food
and drugs act in New York raises a
nice question in the ethics of Inflict
ing penalties for law violations. In
this case, or cases, a manufacturer of
penny candles pleaded guilty to ten in
dictments for adulterating candy with
arsenic and shellac In one, and only
one, of the ten cases was the element
of underweight a factor. In that one
the package misstated the net weight.
Problem: Does or does not a manu
facturer mitigate the offense of selling
poisonous sweets by adopting short
weight methods?
There is a double law violation by
the manufacturer and he is getting a
higher price for his arsenic and shellac
than he represents, but on the other
hand he is in a measure protecting the
venturesome consumer of penny goods.
The small boy or girl gets less arsenic
for a penny than If full weight were
given, or the retailer poisons fewer
children. The decision of the court on
this phase of the case is most interest
ing. Judgment was suspended in the
nine cases where weight was not an
Issue and a fine of $50 was imposed
In the Instance where the delightful
confection was sold short weight.
Unfortunately, the reasoning of the
legal mind is not available. The
source of our information Is the bulle
tin of the American Medical Associa
tion, which boldly criticises the court
for placing property at higher value
than the life or health of little chil
dren, but leaves us in doubt as to now
the court was guided to its beneficent
decision.
But accepting the medical or hu
manitarian view of the decision, are
our courts, 4n placing rights of prop
erty above human life, fallen behind
public opinion materially? There Is
now prospect that "adulteration" in
fabrics may have to be labeled, but a
child-labor brand or the prohibiting of
interstate traffic in the products of
child labor is still but a dim possibility
of the distant future.
MONEY I1t BURN UP.
While we are occupied in removing
or counteracting the causes of the re
cent increase in the cost of living, we
may well stop the leaks which, by
waste have always swollen tne cost.
In that manner we -may at least partly
offset some of the causes mentioned
before we have removed them.
For example, we annually burn
about $200,000,000 worth of property
and we spend about $250,000,000 more
in putting out the fires. This amounts
to a tax of $2.51 per capita of our
population. We pay more than this
sum to lire insurance companies, in
order that we may spread the tax
evenly over a term of years and that
we may not be required, to pay the
tax for that whole term in the one
year when fire leaves us homeless. If
we were more careful with, oil and
gasoline, with matches, cigar and cig
arette stubs and other rubbish; if we
paid more attention to fireproof build-
incr or slow-burning materials; if we
attended more closely to fire preven
tion instead of to fire extinguishment,
we might get off with an annual loss
per capita of E4 cents, as in England;
of 30 cents, as in Austria, or even of
0 cents, as in Germany.
We might trace fires to the man
who is primarily responsible, as In
Germany. There a fire was traced to
a violation of the law by the man who
erected the building and he was com
pelled to pay for the damage to ten
ants property, also the cost of extin
guishing the fire and In addition a
fine of $500. Because the owner had
not discovered and remedied the de
fect in construction, he was required
to repair the building at his own ex
pense. Those who have a number of scat
tered 'buildings throughout the city
might begin by holding down the fire
waste to its actual amount instead of
expanding it by paying for insurance.
which necessarily costs more than tne
aggregate fire loss, or insurance com
panies could not pay agents, expenses
and dividends. For example, a cor
poration owning 20 or 30 buildings in
various naxtr at 4-h dlv; cnuld credit
the amount it would pay for insurance
to a self-insurance fund, kept care
fully apart from its other funds, to be
drawn upon only to repair damage
caused by fire. The chance that all
its buildings would be burned simul
taneously is so remote that a large
enough fund would accumulate to re
place any one building which burned
In fact the amount set aside might
well be scaled down by the difference
between the cost of insurance and the
actual fire loss.
As Multnomah County has many
pieces of property at widely scattered
places, the Commissioners might well
consider this plan of self-insurance as
a measure of economy. Then it would
not be troubled by a quarrel among
agents as to which should get its
Insurance business.
A SLANDER FROM IOWA. .
A column of slander and falsehood
about the Pacific Coast has been writ
ten by James J. Mears, of Portland,
to the Courier, published in Waterloo,
la. It contains evidence that its au
thor has been badly bitten on some
land deal. Instead of profiting by his
experience to be more careful in fu
ture, he denounces the Pacific Coast,
Its climate and its whole population
In his eyes real estate men in general
are swindlers, lawyers are loafers and
parasites and women are drunkards
and prostitutes. He says:
The Paclfio Coast has existed largely
the money buncoed out of Eastern tourists
and today three cities vie with one another
tor tno exclusive Drivueire or exmomns.
Anything; to beat the other is their aim both
in new buildings and olty improvement that
are years in advance oi tne neea.
The following paragraph illustrates
the reckless mendacity of his state
ments:
Hewing out a patch of land from the
rough, where grubbing alone costs on an
average of 1125 an acre, plus the Irrigation
cost of that much more, olus the cost of tn
raw land which la usualfv sold on the pay
ment plan covering usually five years, is
something to think about, and in many
cases it runs the values un to JIOOO
acre, with the production of actual produce
sngntiy, it any, more tnan uentrai xowa.
This man should know that no land
which needs irrigation costs $125 an
acre to clear. The only timber on
Irrigable land is in Central Oregon,
where clearing and grading cost
about $15 an acre and where the Juni
per trees are useful for fuel and fence
posts. He can buy good irrigated land
there for $45. an acre on time pay
ments, with a perpetual water right,
for which he must pay 80 cents an
acre a year. Men have bought such
tracts on these terms and have sold
out after a few years for a small for
tune. But they were men who bought
wisely, then worked and saved, not
men who bought a gold brick and then
cursed the whole population as a com
munity of gold brick merchants.
There is plenty of room lni Oregon
for men who carefully select their
farms and work intelligently on them
Such men can and do acquire inde
pendence. There is no room for such
men as Mr. Mears. They would better
go back to Waterloo or whatever oth
er places they hail from.
ADMXRAI, DEWEY'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
Admiral Dewey has followed the
fashion so prevalent among the great
men of our times and published his
autobiography. The book relates in
style not too grandiloquent the events
of an interesting career. The fact that
a man writes his autobiography shows
that he appreciates the Importance of
his deeds. When he succeeds in doing
It without blowing the trumpet too vlo.
lently he displays a degree of self-com
mand that deserves as much admira
tion as all the rest of his career. Ad
miral Dewey has fairly won this
greater prize. His book 13 as modest
as Grant's. It seems that, like many
another hero, he chose his career al
most by accident. In the days when
he was appointed to the Naval Acad
emy at Annapolis, entrance both there
and at West Point went by favor, and
political favor at that. Any boy who
happened to please the eye of a Con
gressman or whose relations had votes
to dispose of stood an excellent chance
of obtaining a naval or military educa
tion if he cared for it. To be sure,
there were entrance examinations, but
if a youth were unfortunate enough to
fall in them, his intellectual deficien
cies were easily cured by the influence
of his powerful friends.
Young Dewey really preferred to
Join the Army, as he tells us, but, un
fortunately, there was no vacancy at
West Point when he reached the age
of decision, while one was open at An
napolls. So thither he went and thus
became a Nelson instead of a Napo
leon. In the Civil War he saw some
distinguished service, though it Is not
stated by historians that he played an
unusually brilliant part In events
When Farragut ran past the Missis
sippi fort3 at the capture of New Or
leans, Dewey was on board, and, like
hundreds of other young and ambi
tious officers, he doubtless did his duty
loyally. He was also with the expedi
tion against Fort Fisher at the mouth
of Cape Fear River. So he was not
without experience in naval warfare
when the duty fell to him to command
his country's fleet in the Pacific at the
outbreak of the Spanish War.
The OTder to destroy the Spanish
fleet at Manila came to him from Sec
retary Long in April, 1898, and he pro
ceeded without hesitation to obey. The
enterprise was not free from possible
difficulties. His vessels were none too
well supplied with ammunition and he
knew perfectly well that Manila was
a strongly fortified port guarded by
what he must naturally have supposed
to be a well-appointed fleet. He was
warranted in expecting nothing short
of a bitterly contested fight, with the
chances against him. It is not easy,
as a rule, in 'modern warfare for a
fleet to capture a port and city without
losing a ship or a man. Still, that is
what Dewey did. He sailed into Ma
nila on a moonlight night, expecting
every instant to be fired upon from the
forts. There was some ineffectual nre.
but it. was insufficient even to annoy
the advancing vessels. Why the Span
lards missed this golden opportunity to
cripple their foe seems Inexplicable at
first, but when we remember the cen
turies of training both their fleet and
army had enjoyed in the arts of ineffi
ciency and graft, the mystery is dis
pelled. The Spanish nation has never
been ready to do anything at the crit
ical moment since the days of the Ar
mada. The forces at Manila were sim
ply putting into practice the education
which superstition, indolence and van
ity had been teaching them for at least
300 years.
Dewey found the fleet a facile prey
when he came up with it. His scant
supply of ammunition made him cau
tious about beginning fire. In order to
husband his strength, he waited until
he was within 5000 yards before giving
the word to Captain Gridley, -of the
Olympla. His vessels were so massed
that every round told terribly upon the
Spaniards, who made only the feeblest
resistance. Their vessels were speedily
riddled and disabled, but the envelop
ing smoke prevented Dewey from no
ticing their condition. Haunted by
the fear lest his ammunition run short,
he gave orders at about 7:30 in the
morning to withdraw from the flght
for a time, so that what was left might
be redistributed among the ships. This
operation permitted the smoke to clear
away and Dewey at once perceived
that the victory was won. He con
fesses that he was surprised to find
how easily he had gained it. It was
then that his practical mind reverted
to the subject of the men's breakfast.
They had swallowed a little coffee at
dawn, but nothing since except gun
powder fumes, and no doubt the Ad
miral's own sensations reminded him
that they must be a little hollow. So
he ordered breakfast served. From
this humdrum incident the public
mind, ever avid of romance, manufac
tured the fable that Dewey stopped the
naval action to give his men their
breakfasts.
His facile success at Manila made
Dewey a National hero, though he sus
pected nothing of his sudden glory
until he returned home In 1899 and
was received everywhere with shouts
of triumph. The next most natural
thing for Americans was, of course, to
make him a Presidential candidate,
Happily, the campaign of 1900 was not
far off, and for some months the peo
ple diverted themselves by discussing
his prospects of entering the White
House. What his Incipient candidacy
might have grown into had events been
favorable it is idle to try to guess.
silly incident beclouded his glory when
it was brightest, and, like many an
other popular hero, Dewey awoke one
morning to find himself overwhelmed
in a storm of obloquy. Amid the tran.
sient waves of newspaper fury his
Presidential prospects were swept
away, never to return. Whatever may
be the case with baseball pitchers and
Mr. Bryan, it is certain that most Pres
idential candidates "never come back.
That has certainly been true of Ad
miral Dewey. Still, the subsidence o
his renown has not really Impaired his
usefulness. He has served his country
as faithfully in peace as he did in the
Spanish War, and, to cap his career,
has now done us the favor of publish
ing this readable autobiography.
SIB OLIVER AND IMMORTALITY.
Sir Oliver Lodge's presidential ad
dress before the British Association for
the Advancement of Science hardly
came up to expectations as far as
thrills were concerned. He had noth
ing to say -about materialized spirits
and very little about the trustworthi
ness of messages from the other world
The greater part of his address was
consecrated to profound scientific
speculations about the law of continu
ity, the doctrine of free will, the limits
of the scientific method, and so on,
Bergson's pervasive influence can. be
traced plainly enough in some of Sir
Oliver's remarks. "I will risk the as
sertion that life introduces something
Incalculable and purposeful among the
laws of physics," Is obviously borrowed
from "Creative Evolution." vYe per
ceive also the Influence of Bergson's
doctrine of free will. Sir Oliver takes
a firm stand against determinism, eco
nomic or other, and declares as vigor,
ously as Milton himself for the free
dom, with all its perils and responsi
bilities. His theme did not lead him
to attempt any of the usual reconcili
ations between man's free will and
God's foreknowledge, and we dare 6ay
his devout mind would have been scan
dalized by the solution of the difficulty
which Anatole France proposes in
Penguin Island.
When the Lord turned the penguins
into human beings he did it with full
foreknowledge of the consequences.
can see them fighting, murdering and
cheating," said the Creator, "but in
order Xo leave their wills free I will
pretend that I don't see." This is
really the same as Milton's solution,
though it is stated with the deplorable
candor of a Frenchman, and the Purl-
tan poet takes several thousand lines
of blank verse to say it in. If life in
troduces an incalculable element into
the universe, it must be because the
will is free. To turn the proposition
around, freedom Is necessarily incal
culable. The instant any being can
foretell our conduct we cease to be
free, for there must be some law bind
ing us by virtue of which he can ob
tain his foreknowledge. As long as
Absalom is free to rebel or not to rebel
against David, It is Impossible for any
being in the unlverse-to predict what
he will do. When once the prediction
can be made the question has already
been decided and he is no longer free.
The lncalculability of life and the
freedom that goes with It seem to be
Inextricable parts of the evidence for
Immortality. Sir Oliver expressed his
firm faith in the continuance of life
beyond the grave, but he clearly felt.
without saying so explicitly, that un
less we get rid of determinism in some
way it Is of no use to argue for sur
vival after death. By the theory of
determinism all that we do and think
Is fixed for us by our surroundings.
As a mathematician would put it, we
are functions of our environment. At
death we cease to respond to the influ
ences that have kept us going. The
correspondence that we call life has
broken once for all and the story ends,
But' if it is possible to prove that life
acts independently of its surroundings,
the case wears another aspect. There
Is an incalculable element which in no
way depends on the world of matter.
It chooses a course and follows it out
exactly as If it were creating a new
world where none had ever existed be
fore. For a being who has this power
we cannot predicate any such depend
ence upon material world as we deduce
from determinism. Since he now
makes hU volitions independently of
that world, he may very well continue"
to make them when the last of his re
lations with matter has been broken
off. We see what a boon Bergson con
ferred upon, the faith in immortality,
therefore, when he argued so power
fully for the "creative" element in life,
the same element which Sir Oliver des
ignates as "Incalculjfble." When we
push the case to the final issue we per
ceive that the hope of a future life and
faith In the freedom of the will are
Just about the same thing. Either we
are fatally linked to the fortunes of
matter or we can rise above them.
But if we decide to believe in free
will, we must not Insist too relentlessly i
upon the doctrine of continuity. Per
haps Sir Oliver slips a little at" this
point. He wishes to prove that there
is unbroken continuity everywhere in
order to carry the living soul safely
past the grave. Admit that the con
tinuity of life can be interupted for
the most minute fraction of a second
and all Is lost. Who shall reunite the
ends and set the current of conscious-
ess running again? We cannot cease
to live and begin anew. There must
be no missing link in the chain. It Is
better Jlgure to say that there can
be no dry Interval in the running
stream. How can a brook skip one
poor inch of its course and still be a
brook? So we cannot dispense with
continuity. But, on the other hand, if
life is creative, or incalculable, it must
be, in a sense, discontinuous. If we
can trace the causes of this moment in
the contents of former moments, there
Is no lncalculability. As long as causes
are discoverable, everything can be
computed. There is no creation where
there is a cause, there are only conse
quences. Hence, If life Is creative and
the will is free, the law of continuity
is broken at every act of pure volition.
Something comes into existence for
which there Is no cause and which is
totally dissevered from everything that
existed before. It seems almost as if a
living being must perish before he
could possibly perform an act of free
will. What is it but to perish when a
person completely severs himself from
all that goes before?
So we land In a sad dilemma. There.
can do no immortality wunuui nee
will, and again there can be none with
out perfect continuity. But every act
of the free will necessarily severs con
tinuity. How shall we escape from the
contradiction? It Is memory that
saves us. By virtue of memory the
past lives in us even when we break
with it by performing "incalculable"
acts. Hence the stream does not run
dry. It only leaves a dry place at one
side of its channel.
The Agricultural Departmont has
defined brandy as the alcoholic distil
late obtained solely from the fer
mented Juice of fruit, distilled "under
such conditions that the characteristic
bouquet, or volatile flavoring and aro
matic principles, is retained in the dis
tillate." In other words, different
kinds of brandy cannot be made from
the same barrel of crude spirits by the
addition of various flavoring extracts
and coloring matter. Brandy made
by the latter method Is declared mis
branded or adulterated unless the
label Indicates Its true composition. If
the Pure Food Bureau follows this
line, it may yet give us a definition
of whisky which will exclude all com
pounds which are not whisky.
Illinois, the banner Bull Moose state,
has relapsed sadly. At the primaries
for nomination of Judges in the fifth
district, the highest number of Pro
gressive votes polled was only 61 in
Peoria, a city which last year cast 5678
votes for Colonel Roosevelt. If the
vote should shrink at this pace gener
ally, the Progressive party will soon be
of no more consequence than the Pro
hibition party. It has already proved
to have been a spasm, not a party.
What has happened to Colonel
Wattcrson? He now describes Presi
dent Wilson as a ."still, strong man
in a blatant land." That hardly agrees
with what he said of Mr. Wilson at
the time when the Wilson-Harpers
incident occupied the public attention.
He usually gives us a discordant solo,
but here he Is Joining In the chorus
of praise.
A Wisconsin couple on their honey
moon were compelled to sleep in the
town Jail of a small village because
there were no hotel accommodations.
A little incident of that sort only adds
romance to the real honeymoon, how
ever.
Americans who rushed out of Mex
ico in response to Presidential warn
ing and who are thereby rendered
penniless fall to see the charm of our
grape-Juice diplomacy.
London commentators suggest that
the Democrats In the United States
have adopted the Republican foreign
policy. This Is a base slander on the
Republican party.
Counterfeits of the new nickel are
not being circulated, say Treasury
Department officials. Certainly not.
No self-respecting counterfeiter would
reproduce it.
Mrs. Pankhurst's advance agent has
landed In New York. We are sur
prised that Mrs. Pankhurst would
countenance such a Bring as an ad
vance agent.
Exports for a week at the million
mark; bank clearings show a heavy
gain over last week; but we grow
weary of talking about our eternal
prosperity. .
Kansas City boys are to be taught
nights how to raise vegetables. That
Is the period when they have been
wont to learn how to raise Cain.
San Francisco promises to wipe out
the "Barbary Coast" before the Pan
ama Fair. Possibly wants to do away
with strong counter attractions.
In Italy a prisoner has been found
innocent after thirty-eight years, in
Jail. It usually takes us about that
long to reach a verdict.
Works of art are now. on the free
list. The Democrats are Blmply de
termined to lower the high cost of
living at all hazards.
With campaign time drawing on
apace a tremendous interest In the
welfare of the people will shortly
assert itself.
An American stripling bested En
land's champion golfer. We should
think the English would drop athletics
in despair.
Bryan's lectures netted him $6500,
he says. What they cost the country
is of no consequence, of course.
Better fix up the storm cellars
around the Capital. Mrs. Pankhurst
will be there October 26.
Skirts slit on both sides have been
Introduced. Go ahead and slash them
to ribbons. '
Women are carrying swagger sticks.
Handy things for use on street-corner
Johnnies. ,
One million bad eggs condemned at
Kansas City. No place for barn
stormers.
So far we have heard of no boom
for John Llnd for president of Mexico.
Shaw's latest "production has been
coolly received. It must be decent.
No, Algernon, the Corn Club is not
an association of chiropodists.
This Is the season when the wood
man feathers his nest.
This perfect Fall weather has splen
did staying qualities.
The chrysanthemum will soon be the
flower.
Sun Tat Sen's sun has set.
Another hop hop.
Scraps and Jingles
By Leone Cassj Baer.
A lot of us didn't g"to the Roundup
because we had to stay home and
"square up."
Ain't you tired of this tug-of-1haw.
Everybody keeps a-hopln' Thaw or
Dlggs or Caminetti will do something
more. Hope springs eternal when news
is scarce.
Still talking of Harry, why do they
call him a gilded foot when his law
yers have proved ho's solid gold?
And a headline had it "Thaw put
Coatlcook on the map." Just as if the
poor fellow hasn't had enough crimes
laid at his duor.
Suggested coat of arms for Bryan a
double cross of dollars.
Could you say that brides' of last
month have August presents?
Those California burglars who shot a
wood and coal deafer will never be
lynched by an infuriated mob.
Dog-gone-tough-luck note Jack
Johnson was only slightly hurt in a
motor crush in London.
"
Says my friend Ella Speeler Pillbox
"Womanly charm can be acquired." It
surely can, Ella, Just look at the men
In the chorus.
Seattlelte, aged 93, was arrested for
sowing a mess of wild oats. Doesn't
Seattle love to boast?
"At the'end of his Ufa
In what condition
Was Moses?"
The teacher said.
And the bright little boy
With the freckled face
Beplled:
"Why, iloB was dead."
Screams a headline, "September Morn
Figures In Suit." Well, now I reckon
the prudes will be satisfied.
Automobile adage The more space
the less heed.
e e
And the printer got it the nappy
couple exchanged cows at the altar.
Spinster, aged 48, is held as a burglar,
says a headline. Well, If you've got
to hold some one as a burglar why not
pick on a spinster of 48?
Testerday the office boy and I had a
cool million between us. We helped a
chilly old wealthy dame Into the
elevator.
See where Lillian Russell Is going to
appear as a statue in a Parisian
comedy. Sort of plaster of Paris cast,
as It were.
Motto for bank cashiers: When In
doubt sail for Europe.
If a murderess described as youthful,
beautiful, fascinating, well gowned and
talented was being sought, I know 69
women who would rush and own up
to It.
What do you think of the nerve of a
minister who has married 900 couples
and brags about it?
Lady Constance Stewart-Richardson
Is headed our way with two marvelous
dances and 43 gowns of the diaphanous
sort. It might create more Interest If
she brought 43 dances and two
diaphanous gowns.
The slit skirt has done its little mite
In helping restore the sight of streat
corner beggars.
Its a good Idea, nowadays, to have
yourself tattooed pretty well all over
so that if some one cuts you up and
throws you In the river it will not be
so hard for the police to identify you.
Collegiate Ambitions
By Dean Collins.
Aloyslus had packed his grip to go
Away to college, where the vital
founts
Of higher education freely flow
And high ambition ever higher mounts.
I grasped his hand and gazed Into his
eye.
"What Is your great ambition?" did-1
cry.
"Will you attempt forenslo laurels,
say?" ....
Aloyslus responded bluntly: 'Nay!
"Perhaps," I cried, "You'll woo the lyrlo
muse.
And dope out verses full of lofty fire.
Until your friends exclaim: 'It beats the
deuce
How well Aloyslus strums upon the
lyre!'
Or will you seek the solemn haTls of
Where high-brows mingle In the deep
debate;
Or seek In lifrature to make a hit?
Aloyslus responded shortly "Nit!"
"Then I opine your high ambitions turn
To squares and angles and to cubes
And sDhnres:
All the fine dope of Euclid you will.
learn.
Till you are crammed with wisdom to
thn ears.
Or do you plan the highest grades to
win
In logic which they say is hard as sin?
Or will you learn tne cnemicais to
mix?'"
Aloyslus responded tersely: "Nix!"
What then, when unto Wisdom's hall
you come
Do you intend to do? How win your
fame?
For all men have ambitions. You have
some!
Aloyslus, divulge to me your game!"
Aloyslus smiled a calm, cool smile at
me.
And to my ear, his lips inclined he;
Aloyslus spake; Aloysius spake witn
crust
"I'll make the team as quarterback,
or bust'.'"
TtaoughtfulnCBs ol am Uncle.
Boston Transcript.
Ol Tftevliv Ik rirli and stinRy. 1"
the event of his death his nephew will
Inherit his property. A friena oi ins
famllv said to the old gentleman: I
hear your nephew is going to marry.
On that occasion you ouuht to do some
thing to make him happy " "
said Peterby: "I'll prutend that 1 am
dangerously 111."
Two UM Friends Confer.
Houston (Tex.) Post.
'It Is vulgar to dress so as to attract
attention on the street. isn.i it; i
saw miss Knobby going down the
street yesterday in a gown which
caused every man slie passed to turn
and look at her." "Sure enough! I
wonder who is her dressmaker." "I
asked her. but she wouldn t tell me.
Fitting a Woman's Feet.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Fussy Patron "Why. mercy, this
shoe Is a 6!" The Tired Clerk "Par
don me, madam, you have It upside
down. It is really a 9 child's size.
What a perfect fit!"