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THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, AUGUST 24, 1913.
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' PUIX. TILE CORK.
The next few years -will. In all hu
man probability, fix the destiny of the
leading- ports of the Pacific Coast. It
yests with the people of Portland to
, decide whether this port shall take the
place of primacy which belongs to it
by virtue of Its situation. We have
In the Columbia River basin an area
of 300,000 square miles as compared
with 80,000 square miles In the San
Joaquin and 40,000 square miles in the
Puget Sound basin, tributary to San
Francisco and Seattle, respectively.
Acre for acre, the Columbia basin is
equal in productiveness with these
other basins. We have 800 miles of
navigable rivers, , over 8000 miles of
Bteam railroads and over 400 miles of
suburban electric roads. We have a
downhill haul throughout this vast
area, while the other ports named can
be reached by rail only by climbing
mountains. Distance and time can be
saved by shipping to and from the Co
lumbia River instead of other ports.
In spite of all these manifest advan
tages, the traffic which should natur
ally come to Portland has been going
elsewhere. In the fiscal year ending
June 30. 1913, the foreign commerce
of Portland was 316,834,624 as com
pared with 3115,971,011 for Puget
Sound and 129,545,594 for San Fran,
clsco. Of the Puget Sound commerce
fully 3100,000,000 came from territory
east of the Cascade Mountains and did
not originate in the tributary country.
The same statement is in a measure
true-of San Francisco. The lines oi
least resistance by land lead unmis
takably to Portland, yet commerce
passes by this city and goes to other
ports over high mountains with a far
more restricted tributary area. Why
Is this?
The explanation is that the Colum
bia River mouth is corked by the ban.
The biggest ships now used in ocean
traffic cannot cross it, and therefore go
to ports north or south of us. Pull the
cork, and commerec will flow in its
natural channel, down the Columbia,
out to the Pacific and to all parts of
the world.
The Government began with its cus
tomary deliberation to pull the cork
about twenty years ago. It began by
building the south jetty, and has just
about completed that work. It has
deepened the channel across the bar
from nineteen to twenty-seven and
one-half feet, but the draft of ships
1bas increased at such a pace that this
itfepth Is already too small. It has be
irun building the north Jetty in the ex
pectation of further deepening the
,Channel, and has put the dredge Chl
,1100k to work in order to expedite the
'process. But with continuous work at
the customary one eight-hour shift the
lljelty cannot be finished short of six
years. The Chinook has done good
service in proving the efficacy of
(dredging, but It alone Is not equal to
'jthe task. '
I What we need is forty feet of water
on the bar at low water, to afford safe
entrance to any ship that floats, no
mattef how large. We need it not five
'or six years hence, but one year hence,
jthat the great ships which now ply to
:the Orient and which will then pass
i through the Panama Canal may steam
safely to our docks. Not only should
jwork on the north. Jetty be hastened by
employment of two, and if possible
three, eight-hour shifts of men, but
the Chinook should be reinforced by
the addition of two larger sea-going
dredges. Completion of the Jetty
might then be expected in three years,
but three dredges could deepen the
channel to forty feet in one year. The
river would then be open when the
first great fleet of ships comes through
the Panama Canal to the Pacific, and
the indisputable advantages of the Co
lumbia River would bring them to our
docks and keep them coming in In
creasing numbers for all time.
Dredging of a. channel to the ocean
Is no experiment. The Mersey Dock
and Harbor Board has been doing it at
the mouth of the Mersey for many
years and has deepened the channel
from eleven to thirty feet. In the past
three years the dredge Leviathan has
removed 54,000,000 tons of sand at a
cost of 1 cents a ton. losing only six
days from bad weather. The ocean
channel entrances to the Panama Ca
nal have been dredged at a cost of
less than S cents a oubio yard.
By the same means the Ambrose
channel, at New York, has been deep
ened to forty- feet and the Southwest
Pass of the Mississippi River has been
deepened from twenty-four to thirty
feet. Every great port in the world,
in fact Glasgow, London, Hamburg,
Newcastle, Antwerp, besides those al
ready mentioned has been kept open
by dredging, for almost all the world's
great ports are at the head of deep
water on navigable rivers. To dredge
- the Columbia bar to a depth of forty
'feet for a width of 1500 feet would
require the removal of 7,000,000 cubio
yards of material at a cost of about
3700,000. Two such dredges as the
iNavesir-k, ' which deepened the Am
brose channel, could, with the aid of
the Chinook, do the work in one sea
son. New Tork owes its supremacy
among American ports to the facts
that it has a deep channel to the sea
and that it is at the ocean end of the
gravity routes from the interior of the
country. It has forty feet of water on
the bar, while the other principal At
lantic ports Boston. Philadelphia and
Baltimore each have only thirty feet.
It is at the foot of the down grade
from the - Great Lakes, through the
Erie Canal and down the Hudson and
Mohawk Rivers, and is still further im
proving this route by spending 3100,
000,000 on deepening the Erie Canal.
The other ports named are reached by
rail from the Interior over mountain
ranges. The consequence is that of
the 34,000,000,000 of. foreign com
merce done by the United States in the
year ending June 30, 1912, New Tork
did 32,000,000,000, while Boston did
3198,000,000, Philadelphia 3154.Q00,
000 and Baltimore 3118,000,000. Be
tween 1898 and 1912 the foreign com
merce of New Tork increased 111 per
cent New Tork acquired such an in
vincible hold on commerce that the
railroads leading to these other ports
were compelled by business necessity
to extend beyond them to New Tork.
That city now leads the world's ports
in volume of trade, and. the four next
in rank have gained their- pre-eminence
by opening and keeping open
river channels.
The position- of the Columbia River
ports on the Pacific Coast is closely
parallel - to that of New Tork. on the
Atlantic, with the one marked differ
ence that they have not a deep chan
nel at the river's mouth. Given that
advantage, they will have the opportu
nity of rising to equal pre-eminence.
All of Oregon east of the Coast Range,
all of Eastern and Southwestern
Washington, all of Idaho. Western
Montana, parts of Utah and Nevada
and all of Eastern British Columbia
are . in the . Columbia watershed and
would send their products for export
to Portland and Astoria.
This region now produces over 100,-
000.000 bushels of wheat, 68,000.000
bushels of oats, 20,000,000 bushels of
barley every year, and has 723,000.
000,000 feet of standing timber. With
an open river these products would
Inevitably flow with the water down
the Columbia gorge to the sea, leav
ing to one side the mountain-climbing
railroads which lead to other ports.
The Columbia River will, when fully
open, naturally draw the commerce
from Europe which comes through the
Panama .Canal. An immigrant ship
disembarking her passengers at As
toria and sending them thence by rail
would save 300 miles in distance and
could land them in Butte before they
could have reached "Seattle by water.
Immigrants for Seattle would save
fourteen hours by landing at Astoria
and completing the journey by rail.
A saving of 150 miles each way could
be made by trans-Pacific steamer
through avoiding the voyage up the
Straits of Fuca and Puget Sound, to
say nothing of the trans-Cascade haul
for freight and passengers.
The time for action is now.- The
whole Columbia basin is interested
most vitally in opening the way for
commerce with the outside world by
the route which nature has made. All
must pull together in securing from
the Government the dredges which will
pull the cork.
A dredge of the type already men
tioned can be built in ten months, for
It has been done. Two can be built in
the same time, if both are laid down
simultaneously. Put to work immedi
ately on completion, they could make
a channel deep enough for the Imper
ator before the opening of the San
Francisco Fair. But it will require a
united pull by all the people and all
their representatives in Congress to
eet the dredges. The stake Is a city in
the Columbia basin which shall be to
the Pacific Coast what New Tork Is
to the Atlantic and a surrounding
country as well populated and as well
developed as that which surrounds
New York. It is a stake worth pull
ing for. Let all pull together.
LITING AND DYING IN SEATTXK.
In Seattle, few die, and the remain
der live on happily in that most beau
tiful of all American cities. We know
it is the most healthful because the
census reports say so. We have it from
the Seattle Times that the official
death rate -there per thousand is 8.35,
and in Portland it is 8.59 per thousand,
and in all other cities it is higher,
ranging from- 10.44 per thousand in
Minneapolis to 26.89 per thousand in
Washington, D. C. We do not under
stand the astounding mortality in
Washington, .where no office-holder
ever resigns or passes to a better land
that is, hardly ever. Probably the
casualties are mainly among the office-hunters.
But let that pass.
We should like to understand these
figures a little- better. We suppose
that they mean that In Seattle eight
and a fraction citizens in every thous
and die every year. The proportion is
ascertained by determining how many
have risen from their mortal tene
ments In a given,year, and striking a
general average, making a common
divisor of the -total population and
continuing the calculation until the
ratio of deaths to each thousand citi
zens is found. Or something like that.
Obviously the fewer the deaths the
better the showing; or, what is the
same thing, the greater the population
the better the showing. Now if per
chance those wicked census stuffers
had succeeded in their nefarious pur
pose of padding the Seattle census re
turns, the death rate would have gone
down a notch or two more. Obviously,
an inflated census return has its ad
vantages even in the mortality tables.
But without the mortality tables to
prove it, Seattle is a fine city to live in
and an unpopular place to die in. We
don't begrudge the small faction of ad
vantage the census office has given
Seattle in the death table. We won't
even suggest the old solution that
people do not really live longer In Se
attle; it merely seems longer.
BUSINESS TAKES UTWARD TCBJf.
Business has taken an upward turn
throughout the world. Europe has
recovered from its Balkan war scare,
investors and bankers are loosening up
as the money held In reserve for war
contingencies is released and Europe
is again buying American . securities.
A leading London banker is quoted
as saying the recovery will be as
rapid as the fall was.
The effect of this improvement Is
reflected in a rise of seven points in
the average price of stocks above the
low level of June, which forecasts a
revival to actual values. The action of
the Treasury Department In providing
funds to finance the crops has ren
dered no longer necessary the curtail
ment of credit for general business by
the New Tork banks with that end in
view and has left them free to finance
the Fall trade. Foreign trade continues
to swell in volume, though that of
the fiscal year 1912 broke all records.
Manufacturers are recovering from
their scare over tariff reduction. The
woolen trust has prepared to fight for
its trade with foreign competitors by
reducing prices for next Spring's goods
and the head of the trust says that
even under the reduced tariff it will
be able to compete successfully with
foreign " manufacturers. -.Demand' for
cottc n manufactures far exceeds pro
duction, and stocks are at the lowest
ebb for ten years. Growing railroad
traffic is evidenced. by a decrease of
11.000 in the number of idle freight
cars in July and by an Increase of 10
per cent in gross earnings of rail
roads in the first half of 1913. Though
the unfilled, orders of the steel trust
are less than a year ago, the price of
pig iron has advanced in spite of a
production larger in the last half year
than in any preceding like period.
The one adverse feature of the crop
outlook Is a loss of corn, estimated at
about 400,000,000 bushels, but'this Is
compensated by higher prices and by
an excess of an equal quantity in the
surplus carried over as compared with
the Spring of 1912. The immense
yield of wheat also promises to offset
the loss of corn.
With solid prosperity . In the basic
industry of agriculture, manufactures
are on the eve of a period of unprece
dented activity, and the money market
Is In a position to afford credit for this
expansion of industry. Augmentation
of railroad earnings will naturally
continue at a faster pace and will im
prove credit of the roads to the point
whtie they can obtain capital for ex
tensions and betterments. Other de
velopment enterprises will also be un
dertaken and the whole country will
stride forward the faster and more
confidently for the long period of
marking time.
snssrso links is a great road.
The Pacific Highway is no dream.
It will be a magnificent reality within
a year or two. The thoroughfare
from the British Columbia line to the
Mexican border will be accomplished.
probably, by the time of the great
San Francisco Exposition of 1915. The
distance from Vancouver, B. ' C, to
Yuma, Ariz., or San Diego, Cal., is
nearly 1800 miles. Think of a great
road traversing three states, and avail
able to traffic from all the world!
Who will not desire some day to go
over it from one end to the other?
The Pacific Highway is already com
pleted in large part. From Vancouver,
B. C, to Seattle it Is .perfect; from
Seattle' to Chehalls, Wash., it is ex
cellent. From Portland through the
Willamette Valley it is good in places
ana poor in others; but headway is
being made and under the new high
way regime in Oregon the' marvel of
a continuous road, well-built and well
kept, will soon be realized. In South
ern Oregon there is a live movement
for good roads, and the missing link
there is "about to be supplied. From
the California line to .Redding the
highway is fairly good; and through
the Sacramento Valley and on down
the southern line of - the state it is
splendid.
From Chehalls, Wash., to Vancou
ver, Wash, (about 85 miles), the high
way is pooi" very poor. But now the
Pacific Highway In Washington has
been made a state road and both state
and counties have united to complete
it. In another year there will be a
mighty transformation.
Thus it will be seen that a good deal
rerw.icg to be done in Washington,
Oregon and California; but it is to be
done. The Impulse behind the project
Is definite and intelligent; the plan Is
well matured; the enthusiasm every
where is marked. The Pacific High
way .Association lately in session at
Eureka, Cal., means business.
How can Oregon, or Multnomah
County, refuse to contribute the final
link in this great highway by construc
tion of the Interstate bridge across the
Columbia at Vancouver T
UNIFORM ECI.E9 OF THE ROAD.
Th extnnt to which the people of
the civilized world have become- prac
tically one is shown ry uie realiza
tion that uniform traffic rules are de
sirable, not only for all states and
Cities but for all nations. In these
days, when people travel habitually
bv automobile from suite to state ana
from city to' city. It is a source of
confusion and accident to nave vary
ing sets "of rules in different cities
or states. Even the difference be
wn trio ruin of tha. road in England
and America causes increasing trouble.
in Knirland vehicles are required to
keep to the left, pedestrians to the
rlKht. In this country both keep to
the right.- There is also diversity of
rules between American ciues. ruui
roads and steamships in, different
countries have various rules.
Tn Virlnir about uniformity In this
particular the board of governors of
the International Travel Club has ap
pointed a committee on traffic and
public safety. This committee will
prepare a standard code of traffic
regulations which will be submitted
A th oiirhnHrtpa of at least fifteen
cities In this and other countries for
criticism and suggestions. When final
ly adopted, this code win De recom
mended to all the larger cities of the
world. The committee will provide
for the safeguarding of travelers in
every mode of travel, by ship, rail
road and streetcar as well as on the
ntikiix htcrriwavs. and some of its sug
gestions will be sent to the Inter
state Commerce Commission.
It is impracticable for a man trav
eling by automobile across the conti
nent or taking his car on & tour of
Europe to learn the different regula
tions of every city and country he
-nnAN., timnranca of the rules leads
to many accidents, often fatal, which
uniformity would prevent.
PRISONERS I3f THEIR OWN STATES.
When the Governor and Lieutenant-
Governor of a state are of opposite
parties, or of different factions of the
same party, mt uovernur ma.j uuu
himself imprisoned by political neces
sity within his state. In New Tork
we see Governor Glynn assuming the
functions of Governor 8ulzer. Gover
nor Lister, of Washington, is said to
have hesitated to leave his. post lest
Lieutenant-Governor Hart carry out
some dark design during his absence.
Now Governor Cruce, of Oklahoma,
has found it necessary to absent him
self from the conference of Governors
lest his lieutenant empty the peniten
tiaries. No doubt Mr. Cruce would be
srlad to flee to the mountains or the
sea to escape the heat, if no confer
ence of Governors called him, but he
must stand guard and swelter and bot
tle up his Indignation against the man
who watches for a chance to step Into
his shoes.
There was & time when a Lieuten
ant-Governor "put one over on his
absent chief. When bribery charges
were pending In the Senate against
Senator Clark, of Montana, and danger
of an adverse committee report was
great, a scheme was concocted to clear
his title to the seat. Governor "Bob"
Smith was unfriendly to Mr. Clark and
would not have fallen In with it, but
Lieutenant-Governor Spriggs was more
complaisant. The Governor was lured
away to California by the bait of a
mining deal by which be could make
a small fortune. Mr. Clark then re
signed his seat, obtained by an elec
tion the validity of which - was dis
puted, and Mr. Spriggs promptly ap
pointed him to the vacancy. Mr. Smith
hurried home, Infuriated, but could
do nothing.
It would seem to be good politics for
a candidate for Governor to work for
the election of a Lieutenant-Governor
who -will - pull with him. la harness.
Otherwise . the Governor may fear to
take a vacation or to court the spot
light in other states during his term.
That would not be such a hardship in
a large, roomy state like Oregon,
Washington or Montana, but how
would one like to be shut within the
narrow confines of Rhode Island or
Delaware T
. 6WDD41SO.
There is one Summertime resoln
Hon that everyone should put into
effect before the warm weather passes
Into a less temperate season. That
Is a determination to master the gentle
art of swimming. The toll of the
Willamette has been small this sea
son, the very reason for which is that
most of the victims of mishaps knew
how to keep afloat. If everyone at
tended to this important lesson river
sports would no longer reap a death
harvest.
-It is a simple trick. Swimming is
much easier to learn than bridge
whist. A few lessons suffice, or, if
you paddle around in the water
enough, you may learn without aid
or suggestion. It Is a mere matter of
learning to maintain a balance, of
helping out the natural density of the
water with a few well directed strokes
of hands and feet. This lesson, learned
now, may one day be the means of
adding many years to one's life. Pre
cipitated in the water, the good swim.
mer is perfectly at ease, even though
weighted by clothing. On the other
hand, the person who can't swim is
quite as helpless as a fish stranded on
shore. Aimless struggling merely
takes the victim more quickly to a
watery grave. The victim expends
sufficient energy to carry him ashore
many times, but it is not intelligently
applied.,
In a, city such as Portland, where
a broad, clear river is a constant In
vitation, the appeal is not always to be
resisted. What more delightful out
ing than that afforded by the river!
The hazard is not great, yet canoes,
skiffs, and even motor boats are occa
sionally upset and then the ability to
swim becomes a matter of life and
death.
ANDREW JOHNSON'S I3CPEACHMEXT.
The Impeachment of Governor Sul
2er naturally recalls the similar pro
ceedings against President Andrew
Johnson. The . latter, like Governor
Sulzer, had incurred the disfavor of his
own party- and Impartial minds could
not escape the suspicion that he was
accused more to punish him for polit
ical offenses than to vindicate the maj
esty of the law. The Republican ma
jority which impeached Andrew John,
son was no 'doubt moved by vlndic
five partlsanism, but at the same time
it was not devoid of patriotic motives,
Men like Benjamin Butler, who was
conspicuous In the proceedings, were
self-seeking and unscrupulous; " but
Joined with- them were others like
Thaddeus Stevens, who cherished the
welfare of their country above all
other earthly considerations. On the
other hand, the motives of the leaders
who have brought about Governor
Sulzer's impeachment are wholly vile.
His acts are inexcusable and his char
acter seems to be shallow, but this
should not obscure the unspeakable
iniquity of those who have attacked
him and accomplished his ruin. If he
had consented to serve their nefarious
ends and conspire with them against
the public welfare, they would have
connived at his misdeeds and the
thought of punishing him never would
have entered their - heads. It is well
for thoughtful Americans to bear In
mind, deeply as they may abhor Gov
ernor Sulzer's shortcomings, that he is
not being punished for his crimes, but
for such feeble Impulses of virtue as
he has dared to exhibit.
But Andrew Johnson was Impeached
because he bad deliberately set him
self to obstruct the reconstruction pol
icy of his party majority. At the be
ginning of his career he had been more
violent than Thaddeus Stevens himself
against the secessionist leaders. One
circumstance after another had modi
fled his feelings, until, after Lincoln's
death, he was more in sympathy with
the Democrats than with the ad
vanced Republicans. During the im
peachment preliminaries a great deal
of his support came from the Demo
crats, Just as Governor Sulzer numbers
many Republicans among his defend
ers. It required more than a year to
bring Johnson's Impeachment to a
head.
The main reliance of the formal ar
ticles, when they had once been voted,
was upon the violation of the tenure
of office act, but the real animus of
the affair must be sought in the long
struggle between the President and
the radical Republicans over recon
struction. Congress had repeatedly
passed acts over his vetoes before the
trouble over Stanton's removal began,
and with every veto the bitterness of
the contention increased. Stanton-had
continued as Secretary of War from
Linco'ln's Administration. He was not
an amiable person. Lincoln had en
dured much from bis thorny temper
and unmanageable vanity, but the
gTeat President was able to overlook
these unpleasant externals and turn to
the Secretary's unquestioned abilities
in the service of the country. John
son was too much like Stanton to work
in harness with him. His Irritation at
Stanton's opposition grew more and
more violent until finally. In August,
1867, he turned him out of office and
put Grant in to fill the vacancy. Grant
held the position from day to day,
waiting for the decision of Congress
upon Stanton s removal, wnen ine
Senate decided that it was illegal ne
vacated the office and Stanton took
possession again. This . was on De
cember 12, 1867.
On December 7 the committee of the
House which had been considering the
matter of Impeachment reported in fa
vor of it, but their report was rejected.
Ten more Republicans voted against it
than for it. Of course all the Demo
crats opposed it. Johnson would now
have been safe If he had exercised a
little common sense, but he acted with
consummate folly toward both Grant
and Stanton. Grant had been his
friend np to that time, and would have
continued his stanch defender, but
Johnson chose to accuse him of treach
ery in surrendering the War Office.
Bickerings followed which produced
enmity, and when the time of trial
came the great General was numbered
with the President's foes. In regard
to Stanton, what Johnson ought to
have done was to nominate an accept
able man In his place. The Senate
would have confirmed a nominee like
Governor Cox. of Ohio, and the trouble
would have blown over. But no such
step could satisfy Johnson, who was at
once pugnacious and cowardly. He was
determined to demonstrate his right to
put Stanton out in defiance of the Sen
ate. To this end he appointed a con
vivial gentleman of ripe years and
mellow brain, Adjutant-General Lo
renzo Thomas, as Secretary of War,
and ordered him to take possession of
the department. Stanton resisted. With
the aproval of the radical Republicans
and the applause of the country, he
barricaded himself .in the office' and
with melodramatic pomp had his
meals sent in and slept on his arms.
Thomas talked much and foolishly. He
threatened "to kick the rascal out of
doors," blustered about ordering Grant
to capture the War Office with Federal
troops, and ultimately got himself ar
rested for breach of the peace.
Resentful of these proceedings, the
mind of the Republican majority
veered round. New articles of im
peachment were reported against
Johnson, and on February 24 they
passed the House by a vote of 126 to
47. This time every Republican voted
against the President and only the
Democrats favored him. The few men
who retained their sanity in the excite
ment of the moment felt certain that
Johnson had not committed any "high
crimes and misdemeanors."
The Supreme Court would have pro
nounced the tenure of office act uncon
stitutional if they had been allowed to
pass upon It, and such lawyers as Ben
jamin R. Curtis and William M. Evarts
undertook his defense. They were
much more convinced of his Innocence,
however, than of his wisdom. When
Sumner rebuked Evarts for drawing
up the answer to the impeachment ar
ticles on Sunday the great lawyer re
plied: "Is it written that if thine ass
fall into the pit it is lawful to pull him
out on the Sabbath day?" The innu
endo Is obvious. After a fiercely prose
cuted trial before the Senate, in which
the President's legal defenders far out
shone their opponents, the Impeach
ment failed. Of the 54 Senators 35
voted to convict and 19 to acquit.
Had 86 voted against him, Johnson
would have been removed from office.
COATS AS HCMAN FOOD.
The New Tork Sun reprints from
the Congressional Record the text of
a luminous discussion on the subject
of Angora goats and gaily raises the
question as to - whether the Angora
goat, or any goat, is fit to eat, or rather
to be eaten. The Sun is quite unable
to answer the question; but there is an
answer, and it can be furnished by any
resident of Polk County, Oregon,
which has made the ' goat renowned
throughout the world by providing In
its gentle hills and fruitful vales the
home, of the happiest and most numer
ous An gory colony on earth.
The point of the recent goat dis
cussion In the Senate is that the Un
derwood bill puts on the free list all
animals "fit for human food." Upon
the question as to whether the bearded
capra should or should not be dead
headed. Senator Williams said:
"I do not know whether the Angora font
1 fit to eat or not. I here never eaten any.
If tbo gentleman will ear that be 1 fit fot
human food I would be willing to put him on
the free list. I hare tried to eat the com
mon goat, but from riy standpoint he Is not
fit to eat. I do not know about the Aagora
one."
Tbero follows a further Impressive
example of the grave Senatorial hu
mor: Mr. Cummins Mr. President, I have som
familiarity with the bill, and I do not think
that goat of any kind are specifically men
tioned In the bill or In this section. There
fore I assume that any kind of goat would
com In at 10 per cent.
Mr. Walsh 1 think the Senator must be
In error about that. I think goats are
covered by section 021 as well as swine, re
ferred to by the distinguished Senator from
Minnesota (Mr. Nelson): -
"Swtne, cattle, sheep and all other domestic
live animal suitable for human food not
otherwise provided for In this section."
If, however, you turn back to the para
graph in question, paragraph 101, It will b
quite obvious that esse would fall undef
that section, lr no other animal would.
Mr. Cummins Then, Mr. President, it Is
hard for mo to conceive what the animal is
that wonld com in under this paragraph.
Mr. Walsh I suggest to the Senator that
aae would coma In under that. '
We assume that Senator Walsh
meant quadrupeds. He comes from
Montana, where they make a distinc
tion. Tet we find no light on the inquiry
as to the edibility of the goat. We'll
leave Polk County to answer. Up there,
where your littlest "child, knows that
the goat is fit to eat, no goat is ever
eaten.
IA. MORT.
In France there is much talk about
Maeterlinck's new book, "La Mort." A
fresh discussion by a great poet and
thinker of death and the future life
cannot fall to be interesting. Like
most men who have written upon this
theme, Maeterlinck tries to convince
his readers that life is victorious over
the grave. We shall survive, he as
sures us, and In the world to come we
shall enter Into a larger consciousness
than we have here. The new life will
be all that this one is, and more be
sides. "For since the beginning of the
world men have dot heard, nor per
ceived by the ear, neither hath the eye
seen, oh, God, beside thee, what he
hath prepared for him that walteth for
him."
Maeterlinck's considerations resem
ble those of his predecessors in an
other respect. He tells us what he
wishes rather than what he can prove.
When all the evidence has been mar
shalled and all the arguments drawn.
nothing much has been accomplished.
We are still dependent, as we were in
the beginning, upon faith for our hope
of immortality. It has been said by a
recent' essayist that men have lost
their interest in the other world. In
former centuries it was the all-absorbing
subject of thought Heaven and
hell were so interesting that nations
would fight for their own speculations
about them, but now other things oc
cupy us. Earth has become so attrac
tive that the golden streets and the
sea of glass have lost part of their
charm. The modern man often strug
gles to live as long as he can here
without troubling himself deeply over
the future.
This writer might have gone a step
farther, perhaps. At the bottom of
many a heart in this generation the
expectation of living after death has
been extinguished. Whether with pain
or Joy, the belief in immortality has
gone out for them like a candle. The
old questions about baptism, future
nunishment, the resurrection, have lost
savor because the underlying hope of
life after death has been annihilated.
There used to be an argument that we
must live again because nobody could
Imagine himself non-existent. What
ever force this may have had once is
now lost, for the next man you meet
has probably accepted the prospect of
annihilation and builds his daily con
duct upon it. If people really expect
ed some day to face an Almighty Judge
who would reward them according to
the deeds done in the body, would they
behave as they do? Many who retain
a shadowy expectation of a judgment
day picture the Lord to themselves as
a simple-minded being who can easily
be diverted from the main Issue. They
fancy that a ' little talk about their
church attendance and creed will
cause him to forget all about their
sins.
But the expectation of annihilation
does not prove that it will be our fate
any more than - the hope, of living
brings its own fulfillment. The future
will be as H must and our wishes can-
not alter it. Maeterlinck specifies half
a dozen possibilities that may befall
us In the next world. ' There Is. first,
annihilation, from which he shrinks
with a shudder. -We doubt if the
thought of it appals the majority of
mankind as much as it does the great
poet, but certainly most people would
like to survive death if they could. His
second supposition is "survival with
out memory of the past."
This differs- from annihilation only
in sound. If we forget the past we
have no past as far as comfort from
it Is concerned, or discomfort either.
Such a theory of the future life
amounts simply to the destruction of
the old being and the creation of a
new one. We might possibly feel a
mild concern about the welfare of our
successors, but they would ' have dif
ferent selves from ours. The Identity
of the "self" depends definitely upon
the continuity of memory or of con
sciousness, which comes to the same
thing. The third possibility is survival
with the same consciousness we have
now, that is, with memory unbroken.
This, as one of Maeterlinck's French
reviewers says, is exactly what we all
want. . We do not want to be "dis
persed among the various forms of
life" nor to be absorbed in the Infinite,
nor to be mere unremembering shad
ows, if immortality does not mean
the survival of "this pleasing, anxious
being" just as he is, with a few obvious
improvements, we can take only an
academic Interest in It. Who can
really care a great deal what happens
to the ultimate fragments of his soul
if they are to be distributed among a
million different creatures?
Such is the Christian hope. We
shall be changed, as Paul puts it, but
not dissipated like smoke, as Socrates
feared, nor bereaved of the past
which gives us our Identity. To be
sure, the question of occupation offers
some embarrassment. What shall we
do with our infinite leisure? Enthusi
asts have answered easily enough that
we can -spend it singing songs.
"When we've been there ten thousand
years, bright shining as the sun, we've
no less days to sing God's praise than
when we first begun." Dante had
much the same expectation, though he
varied the singing with a sort of sub
limated ring-round-therrosy game.
Imagination can hardly refrain from
seeking some other way to pass the
ages. Will there be flower gardens in
heaven? Can a person keep chickens
or trade in stocks? ,
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps, in a book
once famous but now forgotten,
thought we should busy ourselves
there - about the . same as here, of
course with the cheating omitted. Her
little volume was called "Gates Ajar."
People who are curious about the de
tails of the future life are advised to
look it up and read it. Naturally even
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps allowed some
differences between the next world and
this. We shs.ll see no lawyers there
because nobody will quarrel, and no
doctors because nobody will be ill, and,
It goes without saying, no undertak
ers because there shall be no more
death. Seriously, the best pictures of
heaven thus far painted for us have
been a little flat. It might stimulate
the world's interest in immortality if
somebody were inspired to describe the
future life alluringly.
Dr. Osier's latest sensation is a
speech to the British Hospital Asso
ciation stating that they pamper the
noor and neclect the rich. He said:
There 1 not a general hospital In the
United State or Canada .which, doe not
take all the money It can get xrom aii
lKfuut of natlenta.
It John Hodge ba acuta appendicitis he
la taken into a beautiful hospital and oper
ated on In a splendid operatlngTroom with
all modem advantages.
What happens to Lady Clara Ver de
Vere? She Is taken, into a sturry nouse,
transformed into a nunlng home, and
ODerated on In a back - room transformed
into an operating-room. No wonder one
batea doctors, nurse and th medical pro
fession.
Dr. Osier is continually saying
things to disturb the stodgy serenity
of those who would rather do things
as they always have been done than
sweat their brains to think out the
best way of doing them.
Guns for Panama are opposed by
2,000,000 American women. No doubt
all Europe and the Orient will join
them in any movement to have the
Panama Canal left lying around loose.
- With Bulgaria thoroughly down and
out why do we cling to Bulgarian ties
and blouses? Still, apparel suggestive
of the victor, Greece, Is often in evi
dence. Bryan is still being held at his of
ficial post despite tempting lecture of
fers. We trust it will not come to a
pass where the family has to take in
washing.
In Los Angeles the opening of school
has been deferred & week because of
a circus. What child could learn any
thing at school with a circus in town!
Jack London's ranch home caught
fire from unexplained causes. May
have been spontaneous combustion
among his MSS.
Before leaving for Germany the
Hungry Seven intimated that they
might return. Why leave us with that
haunting fear!
Felix Diaz says he didn't particular
ly want to go to Japan anyway. That
leaves all concerned perfectly satisfied.
For the best baby 325,000 is to be
offered as a prize at the San Francisco
Fair. That's a prize worth striving for.
The tower at Pisa is reported to be
In danger of falling. It has always
had a leaning that way.
Perforated skirts are Introduced.
Are women going to make a holey
show of themselves?
Wilson Is thanked by the Hague
peace congress. May prove a trifle
premature.
Chinese rebels threaten to shell a
German warship. A mere shell game.
Wholesale killing of seagulls Is re
ported. We suspect the tamale vendors.
But if Llnd falls why not send Gov
ernor Cole Blease) to Mexico City?
Camlnetti says his future looks dark.
Prison cells are rather gloomy.
Evidently Mexico doesn't relish hav
ing it put np to Congress.
ThaWs paid rescuers are splitting
over the split-
But free wool is a wolf in sheep's
apparel.
Huerta Is going to take another
think.
Our prosperity mercury is climbing.
Scraps and Jingles
By lee Cam Bser.
See where an antique bachelor left
all his coin to a woman who had re
jected him in his youth. And yet folk
say there's no such thing as gratitude,
a a
Sometimes when the pianola la played
londest In the parlor It's to drown the
sound of mother washing dishes In the
kitchen.
No. Anna Belle. It isn't unlucky to
postpone your wedding day If you keep .
on doing It,
a
Audubon Society offers prise for ar
ticle on "The Home of the Swallow."
I'm going to write an essay on my
stomach,
Cried Willie's ma in horror.
You've been in another fight
And knocked your two bast teeth oat.
My, what a wretched sight)
But Willie spread his face wide
And yelled In honest glee j
No, I ain't lost my teeth. m.L ,
They're in my pocket sea?
e a
""If yon move you're a dead man."
seems to me a mighty poor combination
of English. If you move It shows
you're alive,
see
A local restaurant gives extra larg
portions to Its patrons who sit near the
windows for advertising purposes,
a
A man remarked to a damsel fair.
Gee, but you've got a lot of hair.
Said the maid of the hirsute bedeck-
shun.
Oh, you should see my entire collection.
a a
I'm going to have my salary check
photographed so I can have it enlarged,
. a
Headline on agricultural story reads
"Potato Rows Ten. Miles." Well, if a
spud can do that, it can pull up the
river.
. a a
We can't all of us have our own
lawyer, but we can keep our own coun
sel. a a a
My idea of a real gent Is one wbe
never blows bis soup but fans it with
his hat.
a a s
"A woman can always hold her own,"
Is a proverb often sung
But whatever else of her own she can
hold.
It doesn't apply to her tongue,
Jakey Is a newsboy friend of mine.
So Is his brother. For several days I
missed brother and asked Jakey about
him. "He's sick." "What's the trou
ble?" I asked. "Well, we was a-trying
to see who could stand In front of a
automobile the longest, and he won."
a
When the average man looks in the
mirror for a considerable length of
time he is probably thinking of how
he'll appear when the city raises a
statue to him.
as
Walls EUa Wheelor Wilcox "Wed
when the golden orportunity comes."
But It depends a gocd bit cn how much
gold thete is in the opportunity.
Talk about strong men. There's a
cop at Third and Morrison who held up
six motor cars, two streetcars and a
lot of people with his right hand.
Mournful, he cried, "For you I have
No motor boat or light canoe."
"Oh. I should worry," Bald the girl,
"A little smack. I'm sure, will do."
The Passing of the Seven
By Deam Colllma.
"Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy
green braes,"
No longer the Seven "oom-pah" in thy
praise;
Their horns are laid by and, with home- '
sickness yearning,
To Deutschland, fair Dentschland, once
- more they're returning;
Then Deutschland should worry, and
Deutschland should moan
Flow gently sweet Afton, they'll leave,
you alone.
The melodies swelling from Nor-'
mandle's chimes.
They blew into pennies and nickles
' and dimes;
"Oom-pah" groaned the? bass, and the
clarinet squealed,
Cocopbonous cornet for quarters ap
pealed. -'
And dragged through their horns with
an agonized twist.
Came writhing the rhapsodies written
by Llzst.
The lovely Blue Danube splashed sadly
along; -
Could that be a swan in the Lohengrin
song?
While hat-passing hands left the ether
horns mute.
The Sextette from Lucia screamed from
the flute:
Sonatas came forth with strange hair
cuts and shaves.
While Mozart and Beethoven squirmed
in their graves.
Not only the classics were battered
and worn;
But popular rags into tatters were
torn
And musical fur flew about in the
air
While the Seven were playing the Griz
zly Bear.
Oh! You Beautiful Doll, I am filled
with surprise
To see. how they blacked both your
beautiful eyes.
But lovely Euterpe, the musical muse.
Come out from the cellar and hear the
glad news;
The Seven once more back to Germany
blows.
No more shall they tread yonr melo
dious toes;
Be joyful and merry and cease your
sad fretting
And think what a package poor
Deutschland is getting.
LEAP-TEAR WOOHa
Her name was Mary Jones and his was Jere
miah Brown;
Ha was the richest bachelor, they said. In
Morristown: .
Sha wssn't more than 24. but people called
her plain.
And as for him "be never would so SO
again."
"I wouldn't marry Jerry Brown, In spit of
what he's worth,"
Declared each woman. "If h waa the last
man on this earth!"
"Poor Mary Jones," they often sighed, "n
never ha a beau: .
She'd make loma man a aplendld wife, no
body wauta her, though."
It happened one prayer meeting night; wbea
snow was falling fast.
That Mary left the church alone almost tn
very last; . ;
With splendid faith and pious thougnt sn
hurried through the town.
And presently 'twas all by chance caogbt
up Wltn jerry sivwa.
They Journeyed onward, lde by side, th
wild wina iwra J
They gasped for breath and neltbo
of th
At last they reached her door, and then she
looked np wltn a "'" .
And asked him If he wouldn't Uk to stop a
little while.
Th parlor light was burning low, but it waa
pleasant mere.
And Jeremlan Brown forgot, somehow, to
nave a care.
Her hand slipped into his. and when sh
kissea aim . ' , , .
Their hearts were filled with Ianes which
they ne er n
The poor old fool," the women say, "to let
V.i- mrui him Int.
He mor than twlc a old as her It
hameiui anu i