3
BT RITA RBSSB.
THERE ar beguiling advertisers
who lure us Into letting: them send
homo things for a period of say 80
days "on trial." to bo returned If they
are not In all details exactly as repre
- sented.
Would, says one Utopian dreamer of
better times to come, that a woman
might take a husband on trial; that a
man might come really to know the
woman with whom he thinks he wants
to make the world-wlthout-end bargain
to love her forever before the Irrevo
cable words are finally pronounced.
George Meredith first suggested trial
marriage. We were properly horrified
by the idea, and naturally. But there
are those who advance a milder propo
sition In trial engagements.
If a woman is to marry a man, say
these, let her at least give him a try
out of loving to see if he gives satis
faction In the romantic requirements of
the Romeo rule. If not, then It is safe
to assume that the girl In Question Is
saved from a life that on the face of It
is foredoomed to failure, since the hero
of her dreams failed thus early to qual
ity ror the rirst place in her affections.
May Save Lois Repentance,
This Bounds very well. Trial en
gagements might save many a wedded-in-haste
couple from a long period of
repentant leisure; useless regrets that
they didn t wait a bit.
There are many arguments advanced
pro and con.
"Whoever loved that loved not at
first sight?" asks an old-time poet. But
most or the happiness that accrues from
such sudden flamlngs of the affections
we are bound to tell the truth have
come to our observation only in old
time novels.
That "love Is lov,e forever more," we
are not prepared to dispute when it is
love. But many things go masquerad
ing in these years of grace, and love
is a favorite disguise.
Old-time novelists oftentimes took
three volumes in which to tell the rap.
tures of first love and to lead on to
the tedious ending, which ended always
Just where most of us had much pre
ferred the story would begin "and they
lived happily ever after."
But did they? Our early romantic
faith even In those days wondered how
a man. Burly and dark and forbidding
In countenance and In heart could ln
Bure eternal sunshine and happiness to
the fair youg Rosalind who placed her
white hand in his and took him for bet
ter or for worse.
Relatives Mlgrht Guide 17a.
Those years were secret years the
years that followed. Few heart his
torians rose up to draw the revealing
curtain from the Bad periods of fair
Rosalind's married life. Few were the
confidences that came to us from her
in looks.
In real life, most of us have relatives
who have survived from those romantic
days, and whatever they may acclaim
about first love being the truest, best
love, we notice these same wiseacres
are the ones most vigorously opposed to
sudden marriages.
"Be engaged long enough at least."
they Bay, "to find out whether you'll
get along with her people and to see If
she likes yours."
"But." the young people urge, "since
we are not marrying the family "
Stop right there! No one marries to
himself or herself any more than any
one dies to himself. No one lives to
himself, the saying should go, or dies
to himself, or even marries to him
self! You not only marry the girl you
marry, but you marry her father and
mother, her brothers and 'sisters, her
friends and even her pet canary, and
the same she does for you. If she
takes you she must be willing to take
with you all your relatives, your
friends, their habits and dispositions
and all your associations.
Each Must Make Concessions,
Of course, each must marry what the
other one is. And most of us are
what our associates, our friends and
our families make us.
One can't strip off these and throw
them away as one tosses aside an old
pair of shoes on one's wedding day.
We are what we are, and we must be
taken altogether for better or for
worse.
And this Is why a thought over mar
riage, a trial engagement. Is better
than the headlong, romantic leap Into
the dark.
I grant you that sometimes such a
marriage does turn out happily, but it
is mere chance. And the average
young man and woman should be long
headed enough not to want to take
such a chance.
If marriage is for all eternity, at
least you two might afford to wait
month to be sure that your affection
can stand a strain 'of 80 days' repara
tion or 30 days' seeing each other every
day.
Absence Is a great test of love.
Sometimes it makes the heart grow
fonder. Other times It causes two peo
ple, who think . they love, to ponder
over wbethor a permanent separation
might not be better for both most di
rectly concerned.
Separation is a great test of love. A
. trial engagement, while two are Sep
arated. Is not such a poor suggestion
lor a test.
A long engagement ofttlmea Is pro
longed because deep under It there Is a
reeling in one or the other that the
evil day must be postponed as lonsr as
poeslble. This feeling is one In Itself
tnat should cause the gravest investi
gation. If, during the engagement, in
difference is a marked symptom, what
win marriage be like 7
Look about you and see.
Xevr Love an Eye-Opener,
Ofttlmes a man and a girl whose en
gagement has dragged for several
years are suddenly brought to realize
their real indifference to each other by
the advent into each of their lives of
a stranger.
Th man meets another girl who re
news in him all the ardors he felt
when first he thought he loved the
girl to whom he is now engaged. .
The girl In question meets a man and
suddenly realizes that he approximates
the perfection of which she only had
dreamed of finding in. her sweetheart-
Gone is her old doubt. She knows she
loves now, as we know when we are
happy. She Is alive and tremulous with
joy at being in the earns world as the
stranger. Under such a circumstance
who could question the wisdom of the
former engagement being broken?
There Is another side, of course, to
the matter. Trial engagements may be
abused just as It is inevitable that trial
Tiarriages would mark a score of vic
tims unhappily.
The coquette, for instance, she who
seldom has more heart than she has
honor and none too much of either,
would Justify her flirting in this wav.
The casual Summer man could, use this
as a slip knot to escape many a moon
light entanglement, but In spite of both
these as illustrated objections there
still Is a great deal to be said for trial
engagements.
Would Weed Oat Dishonest.
A girl who would use the expedient
to carry a flirtation to the place it
pleased her to put It down would do
the same thing under other circum
stances. She has no scruDles of honor
when it oomes to affairs of the heart.
Whether they are approved by society
or frowned upon by people of nice feel
ing, she pursues her way, and her vic
tims line the highway along which
she passes.
A man who Is lacking in honor woulA
NGEM'EN"r.. -f
All Lovers Should Be
Put to the Acid Test
Before Marriage Occurs,
Says Rita Reese
find It no easier under a universal ap
proval of trial engagements to exert
his fascinations and. to number the
frail and fond, ones who succumb to his
wiles than he does today.
Such a man is at heart the counter
part of the heartless coquette, and
lacking In the one qualification. He
stands the same contemptible individ
ual, no matter what code the matter
Anally may rest under.
Besides, this type of man, like the
other type of girl, usually is too subtle
to let the affair come to a showdown.
an actual declaration.
To me the man 'Who makes & girl be
lieve that he cares for her without ever
definitely expressing himself is a crea
ture little removed from the forger ana
the actual thief. If he doesn't obtain
goods under false pretenses, the good
of her affections, then who does?
The fact he has not said in so many
words that he loves her makes him no
less the Criminal. Words are given to
conceal thought, is an old. adage. And
in the lover a game speech is really
not necessary. The heart has a lan
guage of its own. Any eye can speak
volumes to the eye it loves. A man
may woo a maid, most fervently-and
yet not a word pass between the two.
Xo Redress for Ben,
When a girl takes such wooing to
mean that the man is honest In his
Intentions, only to find out that he
means nothing, there Is no redress for
her. . She knows, but what proof has
she to offerto those who do not know
that he ubm all his art to win her
heart and did it in such a manner that
she stands powerless to prove he even
once showed her any attention.
The disguises of love are subtle.
There is no denying that. Trial en
gagements, when they are frank and
honest "try-outs of affections, are
commendable expedients to those
who- would be sure before they go
ahead to make a home together.
.Personally, I am In favor of trial
engagements. . For this reason; On
the face of the declaration . the . two
people are honest and trying to play
fair with one another.
They have as yet signed, no until-death-do-us-part
agreement. They are
too honest to do that until they are
sure they'll - stick to the contract
cheerfully. They do not want to break
the covenant in spirit any more than
they want to disrupt it in letter.
They think they love each other.
They are sure they could live to
g-ether in peace and harmony so long
as- lire is voucnsale-d. to them.
But, being wise, they have observed
other couples seemingly as happily
mated as they are come to grief on
hidden rocks, sucked down by unsus
pected undertows.
Best for oth Parties. - -
So they say to each other: "We think
we love. We will try being engaged.
This is not a binding agreement on
rnpaa wife is the only unpaid
I member of the household. She
should have a dflnito allow
ance quite apart from the housekeep
ing money and. If possible, a separate
banking account," says - a housewife
who has asked that her name be with
held. Read what she has to say on
the subject:
When will it be an understood thing
that every wife is entitled to a definite
amount of pocket money? Every girl
has an allowance when she goes away
to school, though It may be only a few
dollars a month. Nearly every girl has
pocket money at home, though it may
take the form of a dress allowance. It
is only when she marries that she finds
herself without a penny of her own.
In thousands of cases she Is the only
unpaid member of the household. The
husband has his salary, the maids have
theirs, the boy has his; but the wire
lour Wife Should JM
I ; : i ! J !
ajS-i j! I i ! ! j !
either. It is only a preliminary canter
around the field. We will announce to
a few friends our intentions of marry
ing if the engagement should prove a
suooess. On the other hand If either
feels the tie growing irksome,, the en
gagement coming to be a burden, it Is
to be summarily broken and each is to
go his or her way absolutely free and
unfettered."
Why shouldn't an agreement, fine and
fair to both parties, prove the best of
all possible beginnings of a real life
partnership? It Is essentially business
like in Its olauses and in its conclusion.
If the partnership is not a mutual
benefit and happiness to both parties it
Is to be dissolved, leading each one
free. I think it is a Utopian suggestion.
In the far South a very young girl
often provides material for a roaring
Summer farce by the number of men to
whom she is engaged.
This on the face of it seems rather a
curious state of affairs, but the en
gagements in question are innocent boy
and girl friendships, and, I think, do
much toward educating a girl's mind
her appreciation of a man.
Girl Should Love Flirtation.
A girl who grows up with men around
her, who at 18 is having a beautifully
Innocent flirtation with a man. explain
ing to him beforehand that it is only a
trial engagement to see if he's really
worth having, is & developed woman
when she reaches SO. Then when she
marries it is for all time. She has had
her fill of flirtations. She had put' them
away with her other childish amuse
ments and taken up the dignified role
of a wife, which she guards with jeal
ous honor. '
I have never seen a girl who, denied
1.11 the innocent Joys of belledom when
a gin, later in lire oion t seise at it
eagerly If the chance for popularity
were offered her. Maybe she marries
the first and only man who ever asked
her, and with him she is apparently
happy. Put her out West in an Army
post and see her compared to the young
girls. ; She Is 10 times more keen for
a romantlo adventure than these girls
are. There is a potential danger In
withholding innocent romantic experi
ences from . girls.
A baby must touch a lamp chimney
to see for Itself that the pretty flame is
something to be let alone. Then don't,
when you have warned, all you are ca
pable of warning, a young girl about
love, deny her the opportunity of a little
innocent flirtation to find out for her
self. She can't tell the true love unless
Bhe happens to have seen the false.
She csm't know how blessed she Is
In her marriage to a good man unless
she has been permitted to look on and
see the misery the union - with any
other kind brings in Its wake.
Trial engagements do take a girl's
Instead She Should
count to Meet All
has not even pocket money. All she I
has Is a housekeeping allowance, which
must cover all the expenses of the week
and must not be used for anything
else. Does she want to go to a mati
nee? She must ask for the price of
the ticket. W ould she like to visit a
friend in the countryT She must ssk
meekly for the fare.
Wife 8 k on Id Have the Money.
It is surprising that so many women
should put up with so humiliating a
position. It is a survival of the days
when the wife was looked upon as a
kind of slave, as some one who should
do a great deal of work for no better
reward than having a home. In these
enlightened days it la a grotesque an
achronism.
In spite of the twentieth century the
average wife is still in the barbarous
position of having to go to her husband
for every penny.
He likes It, of course. It pleases
him to feel that she is dependent on
him. He is flattered when she nerv
ously and prettily asks him for a paltry
10 shillings for some pleasure to
which she is easily entitled.
It gratifies his vanity to give her
a 85 bill. He would not be so com
fortable if she quietly said that sKe
was going to take a box that after
noon. Only the exceptional husband
likes to think of his wife as independ
ent.
One result is that she often is re
duced to petty subterfuges. Instead
of paying cash. - she runs up bills or
allows accounts to go unpaid for
months Instead of weeks.
Finding that she has spent a great
part of the housekeeping allowance.
and not caring to admit It, she thinks
she will get over the difficulty by
economising next week, and then pay
ing the bills. There is no commoner
source of domestio friction.
After a few weeks she finds that
she cannot get square again, and finds
it necessary to alarm the head of the
house
Definite Allowance Required.
The only reasonable arrangement la
bloom off, provided they axe carried to
an excess and wilfully abused, as I
have pointed out, to Justify the heart
less work of e. flirt. A trial engage
ment should not be entered into lightly.
While having no actual weight in
itself; it should be a serious thing in
that the two who agree to be engaged
do so from the sincere and earnest de
sire to find out whether or not they
are suited each to the other.
A trial engagement entered into for
the fun of the relation is in Itself bad
and half vicious. It is frivolous and
hardening to the finer sensibilities of
both. They do not become even tem
porarily engaged for anything more
definite than the fun for the time.
To some such an engagement would
mean a license that ordinarily they
would not take in the expression of af
fection love for each other. Love,
like this, takes the bloom from any
real sensitiveness and seldom leads to
any real affection.
Tennyson sang that love is not love
which alters when it alteration finds.
We cannot agree with the poet. Love
may be Just as fervent, but the wise one
who finds herself growing to be an in
cubus on the one beloved does what she
can, and that quickly, to remedy the
matter, if this happens during the en
gagement She doesn't hurry up the
eve
Have a Separate Ac
Her Financial Needs
for, the wife to have a definite allow
ance quite apart from the housekeep
ing money, worked out on the basis of
the total income and the amount the
husband spends on luxuries.
Take, for example, the 81500-a-year
household. In . the great majority of
cases the husband spends about 85
a week on pleasure and luxuries, and
tne wire si.x& at most. She very sel
dom has any definite allowance and
has to worry him for every quarter.
if possible, she should have a sep
arate banking account, so that she
could be perfectly Independent, and
possibly find some pleasure in saving
a pleasure in which thousands of
j i i i i i r 1
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frAy t ; ; iv .
v ' . i i si
- - A- i. I 1 1
t yr- J ! 'Af
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marriage in the nope that In the new
state -she may be able to fan up the
embers of the dying love into n. good,
strong flame again. She knows the best
thing for her to do is to cut the cord
that binds the two together. To give
love his freedom and bid him gayly to
go. -
v . Acid Tetrt for Iove.
Love tethered never did do anything
but fly in his dreams. If a girl would
hold love she must, paradoxical as It
may sound... bid him go whenever and
wherever he likes. Then, if it be truly
love she speaks to him, he will stay be
side her forever more. "
We have studied the psychology of
long engagements and of short ones,
There is a great difference between
these and trial engagements. A long
engagement may be quite as binding as
a marriage vow. Many do so consider
it. When this is true,- the peril is that
the heart may suddenly wake up to its
own Impending - doom and desolation,
wedded to the other one, yet a sense of
honor will bold the tongue and the con
fession that should in all honesty be
made is not given. What happiness
could a girl expect with a man who
feels this way toward her, after they
have been engaged, say, for a year, and
who is qulxotio enough to keep the dis
women find surprising satisfaction.
Only the poor seem to realise this.
The laborer knows that his wife is
the most likely member of the house
hold to save money, and in "the ma
jority of cases heis wise enough to
hand over his whole week's earnings
to her, less a few shillings for his
pocket.
She makes the very most of, say, the
85 Intrusted to her, and at the end of
the week produly tells the husband that
she has saved 81.25. This system prob
ably accounts for the undoubted fact
that the women of the poor are very
seldom extravagant. The wife, being
In charge of practically the whole In
come, takes pride in using it skillfully
and carefully. If she had "to ask for
every penny she would very soon be
come extravagant.
The system does not work so well
with larger Incomes, but some modifi
cation of it would probably be a great
deal better than the present barbarous
method usual in middle-class house
holds. One case is typical. A husband
was worried by his young wife's ex
travagance. She was constantly ask
ing for money, which he had not the
heart to refuse. She had no concep
tion of the value of money, and
r lave To M
Jt V 'et er Run the Bank
p Account a While-
Jert
Better Than Taking
AHeddlonq
41 m nil r WH." I.WW1, VV -T. -; :oft.-ter.OI'"ul--l.'l
covery of his Indifference to himself
least he wound her feelings.
I can appreciate the nice sense of
honor that makes a man marry a girl
for whom he has confessed an earlier
love, and to whom he is engaged, but I
cannot conceive of any woman who
under theBe conditions would not in
finitely rather be told the truth and
given the opportunity of breaking the
engagement herself, than to go for
ward to the wedding day and to a long
life of close association with a man
who Is Indifferent to her.
Gtrl Sherald Denial Preot.
In a case like the above, the advan
tage of a trial engagement Is apparent.
Our hearts are really as easily veered
as weather vanes. We are swept by all
the winds of caprice and changing tides
until me meet the Right One.
To prove that so-and-so, whom you
love bo devotedly now, is the right one
engage yourself to her or to him with
the understanding that this la to be a
trial engagement.
"I think I love yon better than my
life," say to that one, "but I may be
mistaken. Any way, I don't intend to
mar your life by finding out too late
that you are not the man I love, and I
don't Intend to let you marry me until
yon know I'm the woman for you for
all eternity."
These lines may sound bombastic
But better a little bombast than a
great many years of fretful chafing
against bonds that Irk.
1 Please don't understand me to mean
that I think there Is no such thing as
first love.
I do. But I believe In being abso
lutely sure beforehand that it Is to be
the last love.
I believe that hearts know each ether
and that we sometimes recognize our
affinities. But I believe In making as
surance doubly sure.
A heart is a tender organ, and I be
lieve many a perfectly good and strong
heart has been broken, and that for
love. Over a right love that couldn't
be had because an earlier wrong love
has usurped Its place, as often as for
realizing too late that1 prevention is bet
Work for Body Causes Sleep
THB secret of good sleep Is the
physiological conditions of rest
being established so to work and weary
the several parts of the organism as
to give them a proportionately equal
need of rest at the same moment.
The cerebrum or mind organ, the
sense organs, the muscular system,
and the Internal organs all should be
ready to sleep together, and they
should be equally tired. To awake
early and feel ready to rise, is a
seemed to think that it came, like
water, out of the tap. The husband's
only consolation was that she spent it
very charmlnsrly.
After a year he decided to do a bold
thing. He transferred his banking ac
count to his wife, and gave her entire
control of his whole income, about
82000. for a year. At once she became
a different woman. Instead of tuklng
pleasure in spending money, she took
almost a fantastic pleasure in saving it.
Apparently Impressed by the respon
sibility, she gave up many of her pleas
ures, and took great pride in seeing
how little she could spend every week.
It was understood that she could have
as much pocket money as she liked,
and the result of this was that she
spent practically nothing. In a few
years they saved hundreds of dollars,
and the husband still goes happily to
his wife for every check. There is
nothing he enjoys more than seeing
her gravely working out figures.
Wife Shows Her Economy.
It is time, surely, that husbands
ceased to treat their wives as children.
and allowed them to be responsible
partners. No other system works so
well. The moment a woman feels she
it FdF
ter than cure for the entanglement
that latter-day civilisation make pos
sibla, nay imminent, to any believing
and trusting heart.
Love Nemb Temple.
I believe that love Is the holiest emo
tion handed down to the earth from
the gods in Paradise. And because it
is this, it should be dealt with as care
fully as the other sacred fire was in
the days when temples were erected to
the god of love.
Love needs a temple. I question if
the flame of love can be kept going in
this blowy, windy world without a
proper temple.
And the proper temple for love Is a
home, and the saored altar should be
a human heart.
Blessed are they who find love. They
are wise virgins who see to It that
they have oil enough In their cruses to
keep the lamp going. The foolish vir
gins are they who believe anything
they may hear and welcome any good
looking stranger as love.
Love, when he comes, brings his own
credentials. He doesn't try to creep In
anybody's heart through a back win
dow. He walks up boldly and rings the
belL And because he is so honest and
aboveboard, he's willing to wait to es
tablish his claim.
"If you don't know positively that I
am the Right Love," he says, "I'm con
tent to wait to prove it.
"To show we are honest and sincere
in our plan, let us proclaim our secret
to those who are interested." Later he
says: "We will try a trial engagement.
If it works, we will marry. But all
things will be clear as the face of day
and If we fail we stand Justified and
already explained.
"If we do oome to see that our first
love Is to be our last love, then the tri
umph is still as great. We've attempt
ed an experiment that we may recom
mend to others as the sure and unfail
ing test of love.
"Any test that really tests and proves
the value of a thing Is In Itself Justi
fied and worth passing on to honest lov
ers everywhere."
point gained; and the wise Belf-man-ager
should not allow a drowsy feeling
of the consciousness, or weary senses,
or an exhausted muscular system, to
tempt him Into the folly of going to
sleep again when once consciousness
has been aroused.
After a few days of self-discipline,
the man who resolves not to doze
that is, to allow some still sleepy part
of his body to keep him In bed after
his brain has once awakened will find
himself, without knowing' it, an "early
riser."
Is an active partner, with equal con
trol over money, the chances are that
she takes pride in being economical.
But, so long as she knows that she
must ask her husband for quarters.
half dollars and dollars, and has only
a vague idea of how much money
he has, she will probably be extrava
gant, and certainly less of a comrade.
The great mistake the average man
makes is In thinking that the average
woman, enjoys spending money. As a
fact, she enjoys saving It far more.
What Lies Beyond Us?
Harper's.
We know that the big telescopes,
aided by the photographic plate, reveal
stars to the number of at least 100.
000,000 lyingr utterly beyond the con
fines of unaided vision. Now it appears
that a pinch of salt, which one could
hold on the point of a penknife is
made up of atoms numbering not hun
dreds of millions merely, but billions
of billions. The population of atoms
in the smallest particle of matter visi
ble under the microscope la greater
by far than the total human popula
tion of the globe since the race de
veloped. And a little instrument com
posed of two fragments of gold leaf
make it possible to perform the miracle
of counting these denizens of the realm
of infinite littleness.
Within the smallest atom there la
something almost 2000 times smaller
than the atom itself a something that
Is detachable from the atom, and sus
ceptible of being measured as to its
mass and tested as to its electria
charge with the aid of apparatus actu
ally in use In the laboratory. This ul
timate particle of matter Is called the
electric corpuscle or electron. We owa
our knowledge of It chiefly to Sir Joseph
Thomson. It is the smallest thing in
the world, and It Is probably the basal
substance out of which all matter of
whatever character Is built.
As regards bulk, the electron Is, ac
cording to the French physicist Jean
Becquerel, billions of billions of times
smaller than the atom. To make the
comparison vivid, Becquerel likens the
electrons in an atom to a swarm of
gnats navigratlns about In the dome of
a cathedral. As we penetrate thus far
and farther into the realm of the in
finitely little, seeing in imagination
the smallest visible particle of matter
resolved Into myriads of molecules,
eah molecule into sundry atoms and.
each atom into its teaming swarms of
electrons, the question naturally arises.
What lies beyond?
Correcting a Husband.
A colored woman went to the pastor
of her church the other day to com
plain of the conduct of her husband,
who, she said, was a low-down, worth
less, trifling fellow. After listening to
the long recital of the delinquencies of
her neglectful spouse and her efforts
to correct them the minister said:
"Have you ever tried heaping coals of
fire upon his head?"
"No," was the reply, "but I done
tried hot water."