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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (May 25, 1913)
6 PORTLAND. OREGON, entered at Portland. Oregon, Poatofflca at McoDd-clm matter. -Subscription Rain Invariably a Advance: (BT MALL) Dally. Sunday Included, om yar M? Pally. Sundir Included. sis- months w - taily. Sunday Included, turea montha... pally. Sunday Included, one month..... lauy. witnout stunoay. w 7w i . i Dally, without Sunday. -a:x montha Jjauy. wiinoni . unu sy, inrt m ti.ll . wl, .. Ki.nilav All milDtll YeekIy, one year Sunday, ana yeir J" Sunday and 'Meekly. er-e year.-. .... (BT CARP.IsTKJ ''.' Pally. Sunday Included, sue year Dally. Sunday Included, ana rnontn..... ii . t.nii M.Mfofflca money .or der, express order or peraoual caeca: on yoor local bank. Si am pa. eoi or currency ara at aender-a risk. OIa postorrw lull, Including county and state. " " Postage Katea Tea to l PS. 1 SI i 1 to Ik pacea. J centa; M to cents; to 0 pagea. oairte. -foreign postage, double rates. Eastern Boatacea Offloea Verree, d Con It -lln. .New York. BruJUCCt bulldlnc . .- cage, stager building. -- gem Franrlacw OKIcw R. J- BlcweU Co 142 Market street. Eorapeaa Ottlca Xo. 1 Recent street S. W.. Lxindoa. . - PORTLAND. 8VXDAT. MAY UETTIXl TOGETHER.- Twelve men have been approved by the Committee of One Hundred as ultable candidates for City Commis sioner. Four Commissioners are to be elected, and it is the recommenda tion of the Committee that the citizen make hla selection from the twelve. In view of the preferential voting scheme under the charter., providing for first, second and third choices, the citizen may attain his maximum vot ing strength only by recording himself for the entire twelve, or for any twelve. It was clear." therefore, that any suggestion or scheme of "single shooting" would have been a blunder, and would have provoked reprisal and confusion: but it was clear too that the spirit and letter of the charter's voting plan would be fully met If a plan were to be devised by which the elector might vote all hla choices, without waste or loss, and without conflict with any other citizen who had the same laudable desire to defeat poor candidates and elect good candidates. The main purpose to be achieved was harmony of feeling, unity of method, concert of action. The Oregonian thinks the work of the Committee has on the whole been well done. It is obvious that the One Hundred have been earnestly anxious to find a way out of the difficulties and dangers that confront the city through the ambitions of a horde of candidates, who are not all worthy. No dozen men favored by any commit tee, or any individual or any organiza tion, could possibly suit all other indi viduals and organizations; yet the risk had to be Incurred In the public in terest, and . the consequences left to take care of themselves. The twelve men suggested to the voters are the following: TV. I Brewster. Will H. Daly. ;-orge B. Cellar. t C Craig. T. N. Btonpenbach. Kobert Dleck. C. A. Flgelow. T. M. Huriburt. Marshall K. Dans. Yf. it. McMon'lea. John Drlsco'.l. It Is a strong group of men. The best four among them will. If elected Commissioners, give Portland first rate government; the poorest and least tried four are vastly to be preferred to some of the most conspicuous can didates who are not on the list. The Oregonian is free to say that it regrets that the merits of several candidates did not -qualify them in the opinion of the Committee to be among the pre ferred twelve. Undoubtedly Mr. Frank Richardson, a man of weight, charac ter and experience, would make a good Commissioner; and the city would do well to have in its service an active, capable and upright young man like L. Gerllnger, Jr. There are others, too. In the original twenty chosen by the Committee who might with advan tage have been in the final group; but the Committee .had to discriminate arbitrarily, or there would have been no results; and results, not hopes, nor regrets, nor explanations, are the great essentials In the present situa tion. Now here is a base upon which all citizens ought to stand, a platform upon which all should agree. There are about eighty candidates for Com missioner, and only four can be elect ed. Seventy-six are doomed to . de feat. Among the eighty are not more than twenty who ever had any real prospect .of election or were warrant ed in looking upon themselves as at all formidable. It ought to be obvious now to some sixty persons that their presence in the contest is an obstacle to a proper selection among the avail able twenty, and they ought to with draw, or In any event use their Influ ence in behalf of others. They can do nothing for themselves by remain ing in the contest; they may benefit the city greatly by retiring. Every vote given to any such candidate is a possible, or probable, vote taken from some one or more among the twelve: or It h a half vote to an undesirable candidate. The great dancer continues to be division and misunderstanding among good citizens. It Is a long step on the way out of confusion and demoraliza tion when a representative body, like the Committee of One Hundred, gets behind a definite group of candidates; but the goal has not yet been reached. There is a great deal more to be done; and it must be done by the mass of the people who appreciate the value and necessity of getting together, and who are willing to .waive personal preferences and political prejudices In order to get together. The most promising plan the only feasible plan has been devised by the Committee of One Hundred. Any old title is attractive to some American women. For example; Miss Warflcld is to become the wife of Count Ledochowskl. owner of a castle hear Warsaw and descendant of Polish nobles who used to wear all their Health on their backs at the election f Polish Kings and who used to bolt "he convention and start a civil 'war n every occasion. A rich American midow' is to marry Prince Arsene. hrnrlmr nt Kinr Peter of Servla. and the Troy Record pertinently -remarks: Her future would be happier If aha mar ried a Chicago pork packer Instead of the descendant of a foreign swineherd. THE MAX OF THE 1IOIR. ' If Common-User Dan Kellaher, who Is for the common use of all the varied products of his grocery-liquor store, voted as State Senator against any bill desired by the liquor interests, or for any bill opposed by the liquor inter ests. The Oregonian has been unable to find when and where it was, al though it has taken the trouble to ex amine the records. For example, here Is the Kellaher' record ' at the recent sesalon; (1913): He voted no. or was absent (dodging, doubtless), or was "excused" 'on every bill of that kind. Why did he ask to be excused? Senate "bill 4. by Calkins To prohibit shipping of Intoxicating liquors Into re stricted territory. Kellaher votes no. Senate blU . by Hosklns Prohibiting the sale of IMruor outslda of Incorporated ,ittM .nit tawna. Kellaher votes no. ' , Senate bill SO. by -Calkins Creatine; a right of action for damages against any person who shall bargain.- sell, exchange or give: to any Intoxicated person or ha bitual drunkard intoxicating liquors.. (Si- '"houso bill 8I. by Sir. Hurd Defining the term intoxicating liquors as used In the local option laws. Kellaher rotes no. Senate bill 34. by Hosklns Prohibiting the -location of any saloon within 800 feet of a railroad station. (Absent.) Senate bill To. by Wood To prevent the barter, sale, giving, etc., of Intoxicating liquors to convicts and prisoners. (Absent.) Several of these measures were most Important- But Kellaher either fought them1 all or failed to help those who were fighting them. Kellaher is surely the "man of the hour," aa he advertises himself to be. The hour is doubtless anywhere) from 5 A. M: to 1 A. M. (orthodox saloon hours), but closing at midnight Satur days. OX THE ROAD OF PROGRESS. The reports given R. G. Dun & Co. by Portland business men' are conclu sive and emphatic reply to the pessi niiii an croakers. The increase in Jobbers' -business proves- that Port land's trade field is prosperous; throughout, while the favorable re turn from the Portland retailers show that the city is maintaining a satisfactory rate of progress. with wrest rroM in Drospect. rail road construction proceeding in large volume, foreign steamsnip lines esiao-liahine- aervlce. and industries gener ally in operation; unsatisfactory trade conditions In - Fortiana, u mey existed and they do not could k trarert onl- to an urban growth out of proportion to rural growth. such a . conamon developed in other communities, but In- Portland the commercial organlza tlnna lone? aaro realized that devoting n f Tirnm otion work to the city alone xronlH tend to accomplish that unde sirable condition. - The work was long ago extended to include the north west, and the policy has paid. Th. rnnntrr ia keerjina Dace with the city. Railroad construction In the Willamette Valley, to Coos Bay. on me Kla.math-Natron cut-off. from Ontario eastward across the state promises fur ther development or tne rural districts. Prosperity brought about by railway building is not temporary. As the flow of Eastern'rhoney Into the pock ets of laborers and produce suppliers th hnildlne of new towns. opening of -new agricultural lands, the establishing -or. new industries aiong the new railway keep up the volume of prosperity inaugurated by the rail roads. . -. Portland and the JCqrthwest. there fore, have -. greater-' '"prosperity in prospect. In the course of time it Is perhaps inevitable that trade ana in dustry in this .locality . will be estab iiiihari nn a. continuous or less rap idly-increasing level., The newness of the country will have worn orr ana the. nnnortunitles for development-will be the stable ones of slow growth, to which Eastern cities and communities are now confined. While that day Is far ahead, it -would not be surprising nor a matter of grave concern, if, after at few years of unprecedented prog- a-havA iiiat experi enced, trade, .commerce and industry should show no-material increase over a preceding year. Comparative statis tics in a country but partly developed may. If increases -be not shown, create unwarranted neesimkm. yet what seemed to us cause for rejoicing last year, if not improved but yet repeated this year, ought not to depress us. But when an authentic review of hiKinMi anH industry, such as was published yesterday in The Oregonian, discloses a marked .advancement, irom a year golden in prosperity, there Is every reason to smile upon the- world and knock the knocker. , : : f HriJ IX LJSE WITH THE LASH. Democratic Senators who would fain have duties retained on raw wool and sugar are cowering under the, party lash, and dare not voice their-opinions openly, much 'less revolt boldly. It la related in the Boston Transcript that one Western Democratic Senator called on Senator Smoot and told of his desire to save some tariff on wool and sugar. Mr. Smoot replied: Go back to your Democratic fold and g-t one more like you. Then stick to the ship and ae'll assure you duties on sugar and wooL The Louisiana Senators will do anything to keep a duty on sugar, even If they must bolt the eaucue and be read out of their party. Four Democrats are enough ta upset the free wool and free augar .pro gramme. ' You atand out and get one more. Wail., do the rest. . But that Democrat turned away dis consolate and did nothing. He was afraid of President Wilson. As the President, when Governor of New Jer sey, took the stump against men who opposed the party programme, so he is expected to turn his oratorical guns on any holter In Congress. The Sen ators fear an appeal by-the President to their 'Constituents against them. They fear that they might not go back. But "there is danger to continued Democratic supremacy In relentless wielding, of the lash for the purpose of dTlving Senators and" Representa tives to vote against the interests., or at least the wishes of. their constitu ents. This-is particularly true of the Senate, for the Democrats have a ma jority of only. six. Nine Democrats whose terms expire on March 3, 1915, are said to expect a hard time in se curing re-election unless-the tariff is changed to suit their people. These are Senators Chamberlain of Oregon, Clarke of Arkansas. Gore of Oklahoma, Newlands of Nevada. . Overman of North Carolina, Shlvely of Indiana, Smith of Arizona, Thomas of Colorado and Thornton of Louisiana. . They are Interested in sugar, both ' cane and beet, in. wool and in cotton manufac tures. "Losa of four seats in the- Sen ate without gain of any now held by P.epubllcans would wipe out the Democratic majority. The second half of Mr.- Wilsoa's term might -then prove barren of legislative results, and the prospects .of party success In 1916 would be much dimmed. Mr. Wilson is evidently aware of his danger, for he is busily strengthening the party organization tnus eariy m hla admlnlnstratlon. His insistence on changes in the personnel of the Congressional campaign committee is evidently prompted by a desire to have men on guard who are in full sympathy with his policies- He may plan to follow the extra session with a campaign of education designed to give the people what he considers a correct understanding of the purposes and effects of the Underwood bill. He may be relied upon to do his utmost In behalf of those Congressmen' In either house who stand by him, but he will not spare condemnation of those who break from the party lines. The Senator who told his troubles to Mr. Smoot may therefore be divided between fear of what his constituents will do to him. If he votes for free wool and sugar, and fear of what Mr. wiixon win do to him if he votes against them. Truly he is an object of commiseration. PENSIONS FOR FIREMEN. Portland has in Its fire department a body of men who are constantly engaged in a public service that is dangerous to life and limb. They are soldiers as much as those who go out In defense of country. Probably in actual battle, the one with flames nnd the other with an armed enemy. casualties among firemen run as high as those among soiaiers. -i fireman is perhaps better cared for In matter of housing and comforts of life than the soldier and is less likely to contract Illness -or disability when not In action. But there is little dif ference between the duties the public owes the two. The soldier is pensioned for dls-a-hiiittr or Inlnnr and If killed his de pendents are cared for by the gov ernment. The rireman snouia De given the same consideration. A meas ure is now before the people that will accomplish this laudable, purpose. It Is the first one on the June ballot, fnder It terms a tax of one-tenth of one mill will be levied until an irre ducible fund of 1300,000 is provided, into thl fund each fireman will pay also $1 per month and the fund will receive all .fines, bequests and pro- ceeds'from benefits. From the interest derived from this fund the fireman permanently dis abled la to receive one-half pay; the one temporarily disabled in line of duty will receive salary for one year. A sick benefit of one-half pay, ex tending over and not to exceed three month In uiv one vear. and avail able only after an illness has existed for 14 days. Is provided. In the event of a fireman's death his widow, de pendent narent or child under 16 years of age will receive one-half pay. The one-tenth mill tax, limited as it t in duration, is not a large con tribution to come from the taxpayers. Moreover it will doubtless be repaia in the better work that will result from the encouragement it will give to good men to remain in the service. The Oregonian commends the measure to the favorable action of the voters. HENPECKED IIl'SBANDS. Henpecked husbands are the happi est in the world. With true human perversity they are usually ashamed of their bliss, but so many men are ashamed of their virtues. It Is much more fashionable to boast of being a lucky gambler than of attending prayer meeting. Hundreds of men tell tall stories aof their irregular con quests over women to one who parades his fidelity to the wife or nis Dosom. There is something supposed to be brave and manly in all breaches of or dained rules, and therefore males like to make It appear that they are tyrants over the wives they have promised to love and protect. No doubt many of them are tyrants, and more would be if they daredV but there i3 a happy remnant who dwell In undistumea subjection to feminine sway and they are the only truly beatified nusDanas on earth. They howl about their woes and make a feeble pretense of liberty among their Jeering comrades, but their servile state is always known to everybody, and secretly the whole world envies them. No man who has been once reduced to complete sub mission by his wife ever rebels against her authority, though to befog his lewd associates he now and then steps timorously into a sham revolt from which he retires shivering at the touch of the first icy wave of freedom. As all of us know and some few of us frankly acknowledge, man needs woman's protection. Mrs. Poyser"s sage rerAark that all husbands are babies sounds abysmal gulfs of truth. Man the warrior, ' the statesman, the philosopher, becomes infantile and helpless the moment he crosses his own threshold. He cannot find his clothes, sew on his buttons, cook his food or eat Jt decently without the constant aid of his wife. When she forsakes him hia. beard is quickly stained yellow with tobacco Juice, his eyes take on the bleary dimness of gin,- his clothes are mapped -with grease spots and his soul flops about In the slough of hla miseries like a fly on a piece of sticky paper. The hen pecked husband has a well-regulated dwelling. His fires burn brightly, the floors are swept, the meals are well cooked and promptly served, and the children are put to bed half an hour before' he comes home from business. After dinner he finds his big easy.chair drawn up invitingly before the hickory fire, with the cushions placed exactly as he always likes them. There is a stool for his feet, and when he has settled down to his evening snooze his affectionate wife plays ragtime softly on the piano to lull his slumbers. She plays ragtime because she knows that he sleeps best when his esthetic taste is gratified. Sometimes Ehe reads, to him for the same purpose, choosing a book like "Three Weeks" or "Dead wood Dick," lest she make too great demands upon his intelligence. The wise wife studies her husband's intel lectual limitations and guides her conduct by them strictly. Of course his estate is" a kind of slavery, but slavery has its Joys. There were "blacks In the South before the war who preferred things as they were. They chose to be slaves with a comfortable maintenance rather than free men with the burden of making their own living upon them. Much more, resignedly does the hen pecked husband sink softly down into the sybaritic luxury of subjection to his wife. It is like reposing in a tepid mud bath, where every inch of one's person is enveloped with comforting, though sticky, warmth. Sometimes, like a wild goose in captivity, he gazes enviously upon his former comrades enjoying their wild freedom, capering round the saloons and lolling on the street corners by the cigar shops, but he seldom -breaks his voluptuous bonds and rejoins them. For he knows that their wild freedom is all humbug and understands at the bottom of his heart that ten minutes of the solid comfort he wallows in is worth a cycle of the wife-defler's Cathay. "When little Lotta is presented with a choice be tween what Is worth while and what is not," said the professor, speaking of Elizabeth's cousin, "she always chooses what is 'not." The henpecked hus band is wiser.. He has weighed the values of life's offerings, or more often his wife has weighed them for him. and he takes the cash, letting the vain glorious bubbles of credit go. The world dislikes to see anybody too happy. Hence it shoots darts of satire at the henpecked husband in the hope that ridicule may drive him into rebellion and ruin, but it never does. Once henpecked always hen pecked. "The man who has once been a slave," says Aristotle, "never fully recovers the majesty of the freeman. Something is broken within him which cannot be mended." We may poetic ally think of the young men of the coming generation as a band of brpn chos roaming unbridled on the plains. Some ef them are finally lassoed and led to the altar. Others escape matri mony to be devoured when Winter comes by ravening wolves. Of the captured . ones, some can be "busted" and some cannot. The latter pitch about in the saddle, kick in harness and run away at every opportunity, endangering lives and breaking their own necks in the end. The former settle down to a serene and contented existence, working smoothly in har ness, always provided with plenty of oats and sure of assiduous grooming. Which is the wise broncho? The henpecked husband usually has many children. If it were not for him our birth rate would be still more dis couraging than It is. His wife rewards his submission with a rich profusion of olive branches. What does this mean in the view of Science? It means that the henpecked husband has been chosen by evolution for sur vival. His seed shall possess the earth while the wretched rebel against wife ly authority shall perish. The law of fertility saems to be that families are prolific in proportion to the husband's submisslveness. Evidently in conse quence of this law the earth will uti mately be peopled by henpecked hus bands and their wives ' and children. What will the -matrimonial rebel say to that? He will say nothing because he will have been eliminated. The coming world will be ruled by women unless there is some unsuspected error in our prophetic reasoning. ' PORTLAND'S EXPORT TRADE. .' Portland has shown what It can do when it tries in the way of export business. In the present month four steamers have sailed from this port with cargoes worth nearly J1.000, 000 in . all, and another is to come which will swell the May total con siderably beyond that figure. These ships carry goods to most of the im portant ports of Asia and Europe. First to sail was the Royal Mail liner Harpagus with a full cargo for the Orient direct. Then followed the Hamburg-American liner. Sithoriia with about two-thirds of a cargo, the rest being picked up on' Puget Sound. Next was the Maple Leaf ship Kentra with two-thirds of a cargo for the United Kingdom by way of San Fran cisco, where she was to fill the remain ing space. Last-w-as the Harrison liner Historian, for the United King dom, taking half -a cargo from here and more from the Sound and San Francisco. The Kina, of the East Asiatic line, is yet to come and load for Copenhagen and other European ports, and the Flintshire, of the Royal Mail line, will arrive next month. , In addition, numerous tramp steamers have sailed In various directions. These ships came without subsidy, simply for the business' In sight, within a year after we were despair ingly talking of a subsidy to induce a single line to come here. That shows what we can do when we try.- We should not be content with our present success, but should continue our ef forts to develop foreign commerce un til every ship of these lines leaves our dtfeks with a full cargo and has no ex. cuse for calling .at any other port on this side of the Pacific. ;That fact alone will draw other steamship lines until we shall have assumed the po sition among world ports which la rightfully ours. TCRN I.IGUT ON WEST VIRGINIA. Division has appeared among the Democratic Senators on a motion by Senator Kern, their leader, for an in quiry into the West. Virginia coal strike and into the methods by which the accompanying disorder was sup pressed. Mr. Kern and the more pro gressive Northern Democrats assert the power and duty of the Federal Government to investigate under the clause of the Constitution guarantee ing each state a Republican govern ment. - The Southern and conservative Senators maintain that Federal In quiry into troubles occurring entirely within the boundaries of a state is an invasion of state rights. Republicans take. sides rather in response to their sympathies than according to any con stitutional principle. The progress ives incline more to the side of the miners, the conservatives to that of Governor Hatfield. Neither party has shown an over scrupulous regard for state rights when strikes caused serious disturb ance. The Homestead strike of 1892 and the anthracite coal strike of 1902 were both confined to Pennsylvania, but Congress did not hesitate to in vestigate the former', nor President Roosevelt to interfere actively for the settlement of the latter. The Law rence textile strike was wholly in Massachusetts, but the laBt Democratic House hungrily delved into it in search of campaign thunder.' The time has gone by for involving state rights as an obstacle to such in quiries. State boundaries are, in prac tice and of ijecesslty, becoming more and more imaginary and the whole trend of modern Federal legislation and administration is to reach across these lines and to promote the gen eral welfare without regard to them. The tendency is to look to the Govern ment for establishment of social and industrial Justice and the people as a mass view with Impatience the gal vanizing of such a phantom as state rights in order to obstruct . the per formance of what they expect the Government to do. That tendency be gan long before the Progressive party, which coined the phrase, "Social and industrial' Justice," was born and will continue long after that party is dead. Though the same tendency exists among Democrats, their efficiency as an Instrument of progress is seriously impaired by their adherence to an outwern doctrine. ' If Governor Hatfield and the West Virginia mine operators have done no wrong,- they have nothing to fear but everything to gain by an impartial public inquiry into their acts. The ob jection' raised . by them and their friends in Congress arouses suspicion that they have something to hide. That is the more reason why there should be inquiry. ' THE ADVANTAGES OF BEEVG FAT. Mrs. Perry's troubles ought not to frighten women who have been think ing of adopting the profession" of being fat. It is her illness which has brought so many inconveniences upon her, and illness is something transient and ex ceptional. She has -days and days of Joy to a scattering hour now and then of tribulation. And after all it is other people who have to bear the trouble. The; Chicago ambulance' was too small to take her. to the hospital, but Mrs. Perry was not obliged to find an other conveyance. This was done by the authorities while she panted pla cidly .-.watching their struggles. The stretcher which was at last found sagged dangerously under her weight until it was fortified with two-by-eight beams, but the police attended to all such matters. When the con veyance was prepared Mrs. Perry re clined luxuriously upon it while five sturdy policemen upbore it like a bevy of Atlases supporting the earth on their shoulders.. All she had to do was to He there enjoying the adven ture. Moreover, like most fat people, she is not very sick, in spite of all the fuss made over her. The doctors say she will recover. Then she will have another ride on the policemen's shoul ders. Life must be one long, happy dream to Mrs. Perry, for all its tran sient ills. Few marvels excite so much envy at the county fair as the professional fat woman. Her ample form speaks of peaceful days and slumberous nights. Her countenance beams with mild de light In the admiration of the crowd. She has no fear of competition because the art of growing immensely .fat is known to few and requires a long time in any case. Fame comes to her with out the necessity of those laborious days of which Milton sang so pathet ically. All she has to do is to sit and wait. She does not even need to stand and wait, as the poet did. As she re clines in her easy chair and gradually expands she sees wealth and glory beckoning to her in the radiant future. Panics may wreck bankers and tariff reform may heap disaster upon merchant princes, but the professional fat woman can smile at all the darts of fate. ' Her fortune consists in being what she Is, and therefore it is secure from time and change. THE FI.rR.UJTY OF VORUJS. The Plurality of Worlds is one of those topics which controversialists dearly love because they can never be settled". Like the Jars containing the widow's oil and meal, they are per petually replenished with abundance of dispute. What would the world do if nothing were left to quarrel over? Life would spread, out into a dismal fiat beset with bog holes and death would be the most welcome event of our existence. A good quarrel Is the salt that keeps civilization sweet. For that reason we welcome with acclam ations of Joy E. Walter Maunder's new book on the Plurality of Worlds. He gives it the prosaic title, "Are the Planets Inhabited?" but Its substance is far from prosaic. It is in fact noth ing less exciting than a warlike sally upon Professor Lowell's theories of the planet Mars. , With genuine scien tific " amenity Astronomer Maunder, who is a Britisher and superintendent ot the solar department of the Royal Observatory at Greenwich, stigmatizes Professor Lowell's account of Mars and its far-famed canals as a "fable." He -concedes that there Is some faint likelihood of Inhabitants on Venus, but not an atom as far as Mars is concerned. , 1 Ever since it was found out that the planets are not mere sparks of celes tial fire burning in the sky to light man's pathway more or less dimly through the night, speculative minds have delighted to think of them as the homes of teeming populations. Mars and the moon have been espe cially chosen for this delightful mental exercise. Saturn has not escaped en tirely, but in the main it has been re garded as the abode of the dead rather than the living. Experts in the his tory of the life to come tell us that it 1s Saturn, particularly Its rings, that the blessed dead inhabit. More than one novelist has taken his hero to the Moon and there made' him acquainted with natives of versatile gifts. The lciness of our satellites' surface pre sents them with no great difficulties. Everybody will recall how easily H. G. Wells overcame this trifling hin drance to life, and civilization. On his moon it was so cold that the very atmosphere froze, but down below the ground he discovered a balmy realm where all was delight. The poet Ariosto conveyed his hero upon an adventurous voyage to the moon, where he found not only people, but other things perhaps still more inter esting. Convincing as these testimonies are to the unscientific mind, the astron omers stand out against them with unflattering obstinacy. Wrhat they demand is evidence. "How are you going to prove that the planets are inhabited?" they ask triumphantly, and since none of us haye ever been there the proof is beset with obstacles. Worse than that, the astronomers ob trude a mass of negative evidence which sometimes appears to make the supposition of life in other worlds ab surd. But we can oppose to this ab surdity a still greater, one. Shall we believe that the Creator is so uneco nomical as to strew the heavens with millions of worlds and confine intelli gent life toone of the very smallest and most insignificant of them all? It is orenosterous to think so. Thus one habsurdity nullifies the other and things stand as they did. Where all are equally ignorant one man's opinion Is as'good as another's and it is con- bceded by the most learned astronomers that they really know nothing about the subject. The best they can do is to make guesses. Mr. Maunder tells us that Mars freezes up solid every night and scarcely thaws by day. Its atmos phere is thin and scant. Its seas are shallow bogs filled with treacherous mud rather than water and its marvel ous. : canals exist only in Professor Lowell's imagination. This may or may not be so. --Maunder draws one set of inferences from the revelations of his telescope. Lowell draws an other. Lowell sees , the canals. Maunder cannot see them. Perhaps the fault is in his eyes. Perhaps, with true British pugnacity, he wants to pick a quarrel with his American rival. Negative evidence is at best a poor dependence. One can disprove almost anything by it. The smallest scrap of positive fact Is worth a Webster's dictionary crammed with negative con siderations. , . Moreover on the question of life an astronomer's opinions are not apt . to be very valuable. His main concerns are with mathematics. He computes formulas and solves equauons. no dwells in a dry arithmetical world, where life is a good deal of an in truder. . He does not even know physics very well, much less biology. Besides that he is singularly prone to fall a victim to the "anthropomorphic fallacy." In other words, having proved to his own satisfaction that human life could not be maintained on the planers he Jumps to the un warranted conclusion that no life can flourish there. Bergson has pointed out the folly of this. Here on our petty planet carbon is the principal solid material which life uses to build up its tissues, but there is nothing to hinder it from using other materials in Mars or Venus.. Biologists have found that rudimentary life can en dure temperatures only a few degrees above the absolute zero without injury. Bodies constructed of other elements than ours may very likely 'thrive at temperatures alternately higher and lower than we can bear. Life is in finitely adaptable and we are desti tute of any way to estimate the variety of its resources. -To reason at all sen. sibly upon the plurality of worlds we must forsake the anthropomorphic fal lacy with all its deductions and keep clearly in mind that there may be in telligent creatures utterly unlike our selves in mind and body and yet hav ing acute intellects and immortal souls. It is one of the most discouraging signs of man's littleness that he con tinually makes himself the measure of the universe. "I could not live there and therefore no Intelligent be ing could," is about the sum and sub stance of the Maunder brand of logic. Its vahie is apparent without com ment. 'We can conceive of wise and happy worlds without a solitary Maun der in them. - The Crown Prince of Germany ap pears not to be as close a student of the Bible as his father is and as his gr'eat-grandfather, Emperor William I, was. In his book, "Germany in Arms," he says: We certainly do not want to breed saints of the type of Simon Stylttes. who. resign ing all the Joys of our beautiful earth, choose wild honey for their food and cam-el's-halr for their raiment. The Prince confuses St, Simeon (or Simon) Stylites, the early Christian hermit, who lived on top of a pillar and whose food was whatever the faithful gave him. with St. John the Baptist, who ate locusts and wild honey. The Kaiser should really at tend to his son's religious education. The California Japanese have chosen the most convincing method imagina ble to show that their expulsion from the state must have unpleasant conse quences. The loud-voiced agitators who have shrieked against these peaceful workers most violently now find themselves deserted by their "help" in field and household. It looks like a case of poetic Justice. Evil deeds are apt to come homo to roost, but seldom so promptly. Report has it that James Bryce may accept a peerage, but doubt ia ex pressed whether he will welcome an empty honor he once declined. As James Bryce he is known the world over; as Viscount or- Earl Somebody he would be a nobody and would need to begin all over again to make a name. These are busy days in Indianapolis. The citizens , last Wednesday ,were cudgeling their brains for a way to vote at an election and see a circus and a ball game, all on the same day. That must have made the Hooslers hustle. Massachusetts has put aviators un der control of the Highway Commis sion, but how is that body to exercise its powers? We shall soon have aero planes to patrol the air, as motorcycles patrol the streets. English newspapers see danger of war between the United States and Japan. It is but a short time since they were in daily terror of a German airship invasion. It is now charged that the Frled mann serum hastens rather than re tards death. Perhaps the undertak ers' trust is behind the thing. In the absence of word from Tokio, the State Department at Washington had the whole Japanese problem peaceably settled yesterday. A Chicago woman testified that the pastor of her church kissed her forty times. At one sitting or during the course of time? Shortly a major portion of the as pirants for local office will return to the trying and uncertain task of earn ing a livelihood Mexico will elect a new President October 26. The date for merely in stalling a new .one has not been set, however. . John Barrett may be put in charge of the Philippines. Now don't those warlike Moros wish they had, behaved. Let It be- borne in mind that the Japs were- all right in California until they began to crowd the Native Son. Here's a" hot one. Government ex perts have been directed to report on the structure of red peppers. St, Louis girls say work as wait resses is best. Sure; a proposal of marriage with every meal. Suffragettes are urged to get hus bands and reform. But think of poor Mr. Pankhurst! Idaho Bull .Moose' are to confer. Isn't that wretched animal wholly, ex tinct yet?' - - - - '- Greeks and Bulgarians are hot at it. The Oregonian predicted as much a year ago. Tighter skirts for next Fall. It'll have to be done with a stretching machine. " Look out for a night attack. It's nigh on mosquito season. Harvest time for June brides in an other week. Concrete prosperity overwhelms pes. simists. Weather's regular rose-making kind. Hops are backward. ' Also crabs. Can the junk trust. It's plcnlcin' time Scraps and Jingles By Leone Caaa Baer. Anna writes to inquire If it ia un lucky to be married on Friday. It certainly is, Anna but why make Friday an exception ... - One of the worst developments ot this minimum ' wage scale Is that it may threaten the stage. In which event many ladles of the chorus will per haps be thrown out of employment at a time when their venerable age will make It difficult for them to obtain other employment. Anti-club lecturer wails that women are not "clubable"." Well, it's bad form to hit a woman, anyway. see Continuing the wearing of these split skirts is merely a matter of form, see I wish the hair styles would change. How on earth I'm ever going to strug gle through the heated spell with ear muffs worries me considerably. I rise to suggest that the Govern ment set aside a special day for the discussion of the "Cause of Deteriora tion in Limericks." m Whatever did become of Dorothy Arnold? see My Idea of the Tcl'.ow Feril is a banana peel on the sidewalk. e An aged old devil on trial for at tempted murder in Chicago has con fessed to having had 22 wives. Reck on the fact was mentioned in mltlga- " tlon of punishment. A company has Just been formed in New York with a capital of J30,000 for . the purpose of establishment of a cemetery for domestic pets. The an nouncement says will be charged for the rent of a tomb for cats, dogs and birds." Suppose there'll be a slight extra charge for elephants and horses. e e a An article on "Terrors of Modern Politics" neglects to mention portraits of candidates and newspaper articles by political experts. "Life of Consuelo, the Baboon, Is in sured for $50,000," says a headline. Should think such heavy Insurance would be bad policy as it will lead to appearance of so many people claim ing to be next of kin. e e e Motto for dentist "Facile forceps." e Suggested title for patriotic song for the Tariff Commission: "For Amer ica, Home and Booty." e e That newspaper which declared there were a dozen would-be Commissioners "lying idle" used an unfortunate ex pression. e a a I wish to correct the statement that the oldest man In the United States is dead. The oldest man in the United States is alive. see See where a woman's club is offer ing a prize for the "best bed-tlma story." I think that old one aTiout be ing kept up with a sick friend Is hard to beat a a Man complains that last year ws had more Spring. Well, you'd expect a. leap year to have- more spring, wouldn't you? see New edition Is called "The Smallest Shakespeare." H'm, Bill was that him self once. see Man in a wreck describes it in print as the "worst thing that ever happened to him." Sherlockess-IIke I deduct that he is a bachelor. e ' e a Note Fashion hint says that un limited tails and loose pieces on ladles coats are de rlgueur and that "no lady can consider herself smart unless lib erally equipped." Which Inspired Miss Calamity Stcp-and-Fetch-It, of the Willamette Valley to burst into song In thls wise: Why do I forsake the crowded streets And hunt the lonely track. And if acquaintance I should meef Politely turn my back? Becauso from sympathy and scorn , My crushed, sad spirit quails, I am mopt disreputably shorn; My coat has only got eight tails. , May's magic madness drives me cold; My spirit's like a stone; Beyond my years I'm worn and old. I r.noop along, alone. ) All that list much hear my walls, t That shrelk aloud my fate. Why should Lix have -M tails While I have only eight? There was a time It breaks my heart And gets my (toat all throuah I was the smartest of the smart; I'd dash enough or two; And If with bargain-hunting xest , I'd grappled at the sales, I might have worn, like all the rest, A whole backful of talis. The Plea of the Oregon II y Tom Dill r Is the traitor's doom the end for me? Is that the fate you'd mete To the Oregon that ruled the sea. Once pride of your fighting fleet? You'd batter me down a helpless hulk; Murder me out on the deep? Was I a coward or did I skulk. That now I'm not worth my keep? Have you forjrot that I heard the cry. You sent in your bitter need? How you volleyed prayers to God on And begpred for my strength and speed? You cannot forcet the leagues I sailed. Through ice and tropic clime: That I never faltered, never failed; That I came to you in time. Then you were proud of my work of death. When smoke from my turrets curled: Your hearts beat then and you got your breath To flaunt your flag to the world. Then, Indeed, you were kind in your ease: Vanished your dread and fright; You patted your "bulldog of the seas" When I fought and won your light. And have you no strenpth of idle tide. Not an unclaimed nook or bay. Where an old ship may at anchor ride. To dream of her by-gone day? Must I then strut for your pageant show. The ship that was once your toast. To b cast adrift, an unarmed foe, A mark for your gunners' boast? Oh, give me some of my staunch old crew; True men for a brave death bred. And give me a round of shell or two. With the Stars and Stripes o'erhead. Then let me sail far out to the west. Since I've made your seas all one, To sink myself to an honest rest: A boon for the work I've done. From the Seattle Post-Intelltgencer Sunday Magazine.
