TITE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, NOVEMBER 10, 1912.
A QQCIETY
VOAAA
efee, i?jcoc2 c CcdiizonJMmoj.
If the Home Is to Survive, Marriage
Must Be Modernized.
All Our Modern Intelligence Must Be
Brought to Bear on the Subject.
WOMAN has found a rivisector in
Professor Earl Barnes. Profes
sor Barnes has been of the feo-
ulty of the State University of Indiana.
hnd later he was a professor In Leland
tanford Junior University.
The vivisection Is not such as to ln-
bur the enmity of "Life." however, as
kvoman does not suffer under the seal
pel. Professor Barnes analyzes aa wen
is vivisects he reviews woman, be
argues woman, he approves woman, all
a Just a little different manner from
lall of his predecessors.
Two centuries from now, family life
bs at present constituted, wun us
sacramental significances," its lack of
'eugenic conscience" and its medieval
hthlcal standards, will be almost lncom
Vrehenslble. declares Professor Barnes
V bis book on "Woman In Modern So
Professor Barnes maintains that the
nly complete realization of life for
both men and women Ilea In romantic
ore "under conditions of domesticity.
nd safeguarded by free divorce. He
tands for the complete modernization
f marriage. His thought In many
1-ays la Identical with that of Ellen
.er. But where the treat Swedish
oman's philosophlo writings are some-
hat vague and open to misconstrue
Ion, the American professor makes a
lean-cut and conservative statement.
Waea Law Is Wot Just.
Two centuries bene he goes on to
pec if y: '
"Who will understand how church
nd state could have licensed and con
animated marriages between young
nd Inexperienced people, marlages
hlch were to be binding on their
lioughts, feelings and actions for life
lthout requiring some time, however
rlef. between the application for a
cense and the final binding vows
"ho will be able to understand how
hurch and state could nave sano-
oned marriages between a broken-
bwn old noble and a young ana in-
rperlenced young girl of seventeen?
ow will the future student explain
te fact that in New Jersey state and
lurch combined to sanction and bless
ie marriage of an Imbecile woman and
' her offspring until they had pro
iced 14S feeble-minded children to
rse the state? Who will then believe
at In the year 1911 an English citi
n oould go before a court and secure
1 order for legalized rape, under the
lame of restitution of mar Hal rights?
Change of View Needed.
"Meantime every Issue of the dally
rese counts among Irs items stories
the shameful and soul-destroying
ays in which men ami women are
ylag to live their lives In spite of
la medieval Institution. Eo far-reach-g
Is the unrest that at each new
frvelation of marital heresy ""society
els constrained to rash forward ami
antlcally denounce the heretic in
der to prove Its own orthodoxy."
Our attitude toward marriage, Pre
ssor Barnes says further, must be
dlcally changed if the life of the
mlly is to be re-established as the
eat vocation of men and women. We
kjst bring all our modern intelligence.
bear upon the problem. What Pres
ent Eliot has called "the conspiracy
silence touching matters of sex"
List be broken. A eugenic con
vene should take the place of the
Her theological conscience. In stat-
? the case for free divorce, upon
hlch. In the writer's opinion, the suc-
ss of modern marriage largely de
nds. he points out that though at-
Among tke Poets
THE RIO CRUDE.
Rio Grande is a stream
That some folks rhyme with "band;"
ho wouldn't dwell anigh its gleam?
Adjacent life Is grand;
he cowboys clatter up and dewn
And weep because, you know.
tie Government's inclined to frown
On trips to Mexico.
he regular is there In camp
The bugle sounds each night:
nd all day one can hear the tramp
Of men armed for a fight:
he river bank with metal teems
Tbe tents are in array.
it such the river's charm. It seems.
P.O one can get away.
nd on the other side one hears
The pop-pop ef the gun;
ne guesses, from the groans
and
cheers.
That Death is having fun:
jt such the magic of tbe stream
That all our men must stay
nd linger by its silvery gleam
While brothers slay and slay!
Denver Republican.
THE MA.V WITH THE GROUCH,
e got a grouch. When, on the cars.
I almost break my collar-bone
T reading of the worldly Jars
In paper some one else may own.
never start a tale that's good
But what the chap turns down the
page
.-id wrecks my mental attitude-
It makes me rage:
e got a grouch. When I was young
A peal of thunder shook the air
nd stopped a woman's wagging tongue
By reason of enormous scare.
ome men are lucky, I have cried.
Knd In Luck's lap they seem to
crouch";
o thunder scares my wife tongue
tied I've got a grouch!
. e got a grouch. I scraped and saved
To pay a debt I owed a man;
Irei. an animal depraved.
And piled the economic plan.
c last the debt I chanced to pay.
That nlffht he died. Oh, it Is sad!
voroe is increasing steadily through
out the world, and most rapidly in the
more progressive and enlightened com
munities, stm It Is difficult to secure
Intelligent " thinking on the subject.
so closely Is It bound up with our deep
est rooted prejudices. Professor Barnes
presents as follows the three main ob
jections which he finds current against
free divorce, together with the ans
wers from its advocates:
Objection to Divorce Aaswered.
"The first is that organized society
rests on the family, and with free di
vorce anarchy would ensue. In reply,
It is pointed out that the same argu
ment was used to support kings, aria
tocracles and a universal church. All
these have been set aside In many
parts of the earth and society seems
even more stable than before. The love
of men and women is probably more
powerful and less In need of advent!
tious support than either patriotism or
religion.
"In the second place. It la claimed
that children will suffer when parents
separate. It is replied that this Is true,
but they were already suffering when
parents had ceased to love each other.
The fact that children are involved In
only two oat of five divorces seems to
Indicate that children hold parents to
gether when the opposition Is not too
strong; and when a separation occurs
those who favor divorce claim that a
child is better off with either father
or mother alone than with both If love
is absent.
"In the third place. It Is pointed out
that often only one desires the divorce
and that this brings tragedy to the
other life. In reply it la claimed that
many of the tragedies Of life have al
ways gathered around the love of men
and women, that when marriage Is
declined tragedy often follows, and that
compelling a person to live with some
one whom he does not love, and may
even dislike, is more tragic than any
separation.'
Danger of Idle Parasite
Moreover, the advocates of free di
vorce claim that their proposals are
not radical, but, on the contrary, pro
foundly conservative, in that they tend
to bring marriage back to its "eter
nally binding realities," Under our
present-day conditions of more or less
reatrlctel divorce, they further main
tain, we have a consequent widespread
prostitution. Irregularities that are
tolerated and condoned, and a danger
ous number of divorced people who
are prevented from remarriage. With
free divorce, and all excuse for Irreg
ularity v-.-icnt, these advocates say, the
unlaith. man or woman would sink
to the emical level of the thief and
liar, and most of them would disap
pear. The love of men and women.
to quote Professor Barnes, "and their
mutual love for their children would
then be free to bind -families together
in permanent trust and open honesty."
In a chapter devoted to "Family Life
as a vocation Professor Barnes con
cludes that in the midst of present dis
satisfaction and unrest and the revolu
tionizing of our deepest conception of
life "the family, too, must change
must find Its ethical and social re
adjustments. It is not, be insists, the
militant agitator, but the idle parasitic
wife whom those who uphold the fin
est family ideas of the past should
fear; not any subversive philosophy,
but overwork and the desire for lux
ury; not freedom, but unthinking ac
quiescence In - antiquated marriage
laws. "But the monogamlo and persis
tent union of lovers, surrounded by
their children, will easily survive all
the mistakes of a time of transition."
Womea aad EAlrat sree.
"Woman," asserts Barnes, ' "as she
actually appears in modern society, is
also less subject to variation than
man; she Is much less liable to be a
genius or an Idiot than her brother.
She offers greater resistance to dls
ease, endures pain and want more
hn mnutds wn hxtunnt
of the Daily Press
If I bad waited one more day
It's made me road I
New York Tribune.
THE NEW ARRIVAL.
They nuvver wuz a baby 1st
Es smart es ours naw. slrl
An" my paw yes, an' my maw, thinks
a boiui lot uv her.
Sumbuddy foun' her, my paw sed.
In a ole holler tru-
An' they 1st tbo't they'd bring her home.
ca cumjjuc, ibj me.
Her teeth Is all wored eff they are i
A-chewln' bark, paw sed;
An' they ain't hardly enny hair
A-tail upon her hed.
She likes f squall most enny time,
But when it's nlte th' best;
Cos then nobuddy in th' house
Kin git a bit uv rest.
Unless she is a better gurl
Nen you 1st bet she'll see
Coz she'll 1st git put back Into
Annuther holler tree.
New Orleans Picayune.
AN ETCHING.
I wandered through the streets of an
old town
When night had let her dusky curtains
down.
And in a doorway, tall and fair and
slight.
Framed by an Inner beam of golden
light.
Beheld a maiden of Madonna face.
Pensive and sad and with a nameless
grace.
Presage. I thought of the unfolding
years
That hide some things that are too deep
for tears. Clinton Scollard.
GETTING THE FUTURE MEAL.
(Scientists declare they soon will be
able to extract food directly from the
atmosphere. News item.)
All circumjacent atmosphere is packed
ana jammed with food.
But means for Its extraction are at
present writing, crude.
Potatoes haunt the Autumn air, and
corns on every breeze
If ik&?&K 4iw 1
stoically, and lives longer; so that
while more boys than girls are born
in all parts of the world, where statis
tics are kept. In mature years women
always outnumber men."
The vlvlsector makes this statement
in drawing his contrast between men
and women. He tempers his compli
ments to men, and lest men become
too satisfied at being more liable to
genius he promptly states that their
probability of becoming idiots is
equally greater.
He does not try to explain this pe
culiarity; he merely states It as a fact
based upon statistics.
"Most women think In particulars
compared with men," says Barnes
again. "The individual circumstance
seems to them very important; and It
is hard for them to get away from the
concrete. On the other hand, a man's
thinking is more Impersonal and gen
eral; and he Is more easily drawn into
abstractions."
This tendency leads them Into habit
Are onions, though invisible, and, quite
unseen, there s cheese.
The pancake In the azure floats, and
maple syrup, too.
While from the sephyr steaks may fall
as gently as the dew.
When science has contrived the way.
reach forth with either hand
And from low-lying strata pluck "soft
boiled," -and eke "ham and."
The future rain will be of tea, or coffee
clear and hot.
And heaven drop, of cake and pie, the
kinds that hit the spot.
New York Evening Sun.
INSTRUCTION.
By hard experience we learn.
Whatever our position, -
And pay, whichever way we turn.
Right dearly for tuition.
Before we walk we have to creep;
We rise with many a tumble;
Before we learn life's road to keep
. How often must we stumble
Ere we can learn to think we grope
Through much fantastic folly.
Our smiles of friendship and ef hope
Are earned through melancholy.
And so It Is with every man.
And so with many a nation;
It is a part of nature's plan
Compulsory education.
Washington Star.
IN NEW YORK.
Hank E. Noodle came to town '
With whiskers odd and funny.
A hold-up man he knocked him down
And ran off with his money.
He called a cop and bade him atop
The reckless spoliator.
"Oh, there's no hurry," said the cop,
Til get my divvy later."
"But what'll I. Hank Noodle do?
And what'll I tell MandyT"
Tell her to come to the city, too;
Her money'll come in bandy!"
Fuck.
REO.UIESCAT.
I
Johnny. In his r-stless roving,
Found a pot of liquid glue;
John, the maple syrup doving.
Thought the glue was syrup, too,
J. no longer now is roving
He is stuck upon tbe blue. Life.
ual action and we find that women are
the con servers of tradition; that rules
of social relationship appeal to them.
Societies such as the Daughters of the
Revolution and the Colonial Dames
flourish on the scantiest foundations of
ancestral excellence.
"Women express beauty in them
selves; Jewels are for their adornment;
and rooms are furnished as a setting for
themselves. The lives of millions of
workers go to the adornment of wo
men." Is another of his striking state
ments. An instance of this is the way
that many of the great women artists
use themselves as models. '
Madame Le Brun does her work best
when she is painting herself and
child. Angelica Kauffman, when she
would paint a vestal virgin transfers
her own features upon the canvas.
Roosevelt and Mr. Barnes are heartily
In sympathy with one another on the
question of marriage the bachelor ob
tains no sympathy.
"Men. when alone, become selfish.
Quips and Flings
Dancer What did you put that man
out lor?
Floor Manager He claimed to be
one of the city firemen, and he was
wearing a celluloid collar.
m m m
"What are the wild waves saying.
mother?'
"I do not know, my child."
"But why do they dance all day
long?"
"Well, my child, they eannot play
bridge. Boston Traveler.
The second day drew to its close with
the 12th Juryman still unconvinced.
"Well, gentlemen." said the bailiff,
entering quietly, "shall I, as usual, or
der 12 dinners?" '
"Make It." said the foreman, "11
dinners and a bale of hay." Judge.
"Sometimes I feel sure," ' said Bll
klns, "that I once sat on a throne and
waved a scepter."
"And now." remarked his cheery
wife, "you are going to stand on the
back porch and wave a rug beater."
Cleveland Flam Dealer.
He What do you consider the best
way to propose?
She Promptly Boston Transcript.
,
Dyer I have no trouble .keeping
awake during the sermon.
Ryer How do you manage it?
Dyer By playing golf. Life.
Summer Boarder Don't you ever
come to see the sights of a city?
Farmer Medders Oh, so; we see em
every Summer. Judge.
He I have a compliment for you.
dear.
She What is It?
He Mrs. Jones says you have the
handsomest husband In town. Life.
"What punishment did that default
ing banker get?"
"I understana nis lawyer cnargea
him $40,000." Louisville Courier-Journal.
..
.
Harassed Prisonei1 Pray, great chief.
why do yon keep your servant tied up
so long?
Cannibal King A thousand pardons.
coarse and reckless; their Judgments
become extravagant and their pursuits
remorseless," he insists, "while women
become emotional and unbalanced and
tend to develop certain hard, arid qual
ities of the heart and mind If they do
not wed. Men and women should sup
plement, one another In life if they
wish to get anything out of it. They
are only half creatures, each being the
complement of the other. To live alone
is to live an incomplete life."
If he practices what he preaches, Mr.
Barnes should make an ideal husband.
Be believes that as a wife woman Is
unjustly treated. He says:
"In the past, the partnership of mar
riage has been Incomplete on the prop
erty side; why not complete It? Why
not reorganize our laws and our pub
lic opinion so that two people who es
tablish a family, putting into it all
they have, should pay out of the Income
the necessary family expenses and di
vide all else equally between them.
Property acquired before marriage, and
all inherited property, might well be
held in Individual right, since It should
never be a prise for prostitution, not
even when It is euphemistically termed
a 'good home.'."
It is unjust that she should put as
dear missionary, but we are waiting
for the consignment of paper bags
from Sydney. Sydney Bulletin.
Lucille Oh, you can win Maries
heart easily enough. All you need do
Is to give her all the money she wants.
Jules And do you call that easy?
Le Rire.
-
The big responsibilities of marriage
are the little ones Dartmouth Jack o'
Lantern.
Megaphonist (on sight-seeing auto)
"This is Bunker Hill."
Golfing Briton "Ah, that was a
bunker, to be sure!" Boston Tran
script. e e
"Johnny, what are you doing?"
Tryln' to learn the fish In this here
crick what they'll git if they bit on
Sunday." Houston Post.
. i i
"Yes, smoking-is an expensive "
When one gives his friends cigars all
u VA.- o T-r... n , fe'- loss is no little
"Do you mean In cigars or irienasr
uik. ,
TtlnVn "T hone this Balkan war will
... TiiT-klch strAcitlea."
Jinks "Ditto here. I never could
smoke the blamed things." New York
American.
m w
vu . i. . .... -.ith h ! i i some men
can master great difficulties!" sighed
the sweet maid.
'rv. ... t ---A navels, too." com
mented the young man. Brooklyn Life.
Crawford "I hear he was operated
on. What Old ne navei
Crabshaw "Money." New York
Times. .
Silllcus "There Is honor among
thieves!"
Cynicug "Nonsense! Thieves are
Just as bad as other people." Life.
In the mirror to see If it's clean. Don't
you?
Bobby "Don't have to. I look at the
towel." Boston Transcript.
lnn (sternlv) "To what do you at
tribute your downfall?"
Culprit "The first drink I ever took
was one you bought me when you were
trying to get my vote." Puck, n
much time and In many oases as much
money Into the task of supporting the
family and then have no control over
the profits that arise from the hus
band's business.
State Mainly ooaecraed.
Th. nmtnt marrlace system la de
feetlve. We fall to realize how greatly
the family has changed rorougn aevei
ppment. Marriages should no longer
k. nOTiia h th, ehnreh. but should
be turned over to the state, which It
more vitally concerns, liwi snouia a
passed to prevent marriages of those
afflicted with disease, between Imbe
ciles and criminals. Marriage should al
ways be a matter of definite and open
record In the archives of the commu-
i . . aw.M km a A vmrtiumA six
months in advance. In this manner
hasty contracts will be avoided and the
marriage of unfit persons prevented.
tt. j v. - ..nU. fnrm, of civlliza-
UUUDI IHO """f "
tion that have prevailed in the past it
was comparatively a simple matter to
find the complement of any particular
man or woman. Now marriage has be
come lnflntely more complex and we
provide free divorce.
After a long struggle In the past to
....... .mini nnnnrtunlties for an edu-
cation, women at the present time
practically control it. Most or our
teachers. In other words, are women. It
is owing to this monopoly that culture
Is rapidly becoming feminized.
In education this means that more
emphasis is laid on languages, liter
ature and history as opposed to mathe
matics" physics and chemistry and civ
ics. A oonsuint increase In the study
of the former and decrease in the lat
ter is very noticeable. This feminiza
tion is indicated In the augmented
movement among women in forming
clubs, their enrollment in college
courses and the thousands, that flock
to Chautauquas every Summer.
Growth of Woman's Interests.
It is also evidenced in magazines,
newspapers, literature and churches.
During these past few years hundreds
of Journals have sprung up devoted to
women's speolal interests. They are
almost all of them showy, fragmentary,
personal, concrete and emotional. It Is
difficult to find one that represents gen
eral or abstract interests. At least
one of these Journals which boasts a
fabulous circulation Is spported by
its women subscribers and readers to
oppose the larger interests of women
in education. Industry and political
life. At least. If it does not oppose
these Interests, It does not aid them.
Imagine a million German women
- i in Anllar and a
siiuiie m ..... :
half a year to Induce him to tell them
onoe a month to go back to their
kitchen, churches and enuarenj
..,n,Mri nr America nave
steadily changed during the last three
decades in the same oireciion. r.u
torlal pages and news columns have
. mAtflAri 1-n the direction
uoeii Bttutj
of fragmentary, egotistic, personal and
sensational, or at least nooiw
peals. These are the qualities of chil-
t .4 - nf iinHAveloDed minds
everywhere. The change is, of course.
a part of the larger aemocrauo inure
ment of our time, and many causes
....Knt tn brine- it about.
Had women not been so active, some
thing of the same sort wouia nave Hap
pened; but if women were all to for-
. i n. nvArnisrht there Is
little doubt that the newspapers would
find It advantageous w prim iu
statesmanlike editorials and more gen
eral and abstract news.
We find the magazines changed in
-v. j-.Attnn nf miA.lltles that char-
Lll O u.ldjww.- w. . -
acterlze distinctively women's Journals.
A new personal and egotistic element
has crept in. Even church service, if
not entirely tied to set forms, must
seek to Interest those who occupy the
. t.r.ji n nhmrver P.AY1 fall to note
in both England and America a move
ment toward ritualism on tne one nana,
and on the other, toward popular, per
sonal, concrete and sometimes sensa
tional preaching. The same general
changes are taking place In libraries,
In the drama, in concerts, In all group
men
Terse Tales From
COIN OVERCOMES SENTIMENT.
A stray American tourist, while on a
fishing trip in Glengarry County, On
tario, happened upon a decrepit spin
ning wheel In the home of a venerable
Scotchman, Donald MacTavlsh, says the
Saturday Evening Post Priding him
self upon being somewhat of an an
tlquary, the American asked htm to
name - his price. The old man slowly
filled and lighted his pipe, while the
American waited expectantly.
"I'm thlnkin'," said the Scot at length,
"that ye no ken you auld bit o' Junkie
Is varra dead tae me. Ma gran'mlther,
when she was but a lassie in Dunferm
line, wur-rked her bonny fingers nigh
tae th' bone tae buy It, an' when she
lay deeln' she said tae her eldest boch
ter, ma mither: 'Kirtsy, I wudda tbocht
ye suud ever palrt wr it.
The tourist, quickly contrite, apolo
gized. N
"I'm no blamln' ys," went on the
Glengarrlan. "It's not for a stranger
tae knaw that every nicht I have sat
an' smoked ma auld pipe wl' ma eyes
on th' wheel, thenkin' o" ma mither
bendin' over It at wur-rk, an' her
mither before her, till I can see th'
heather an' th' hills like when I was
a laddie In Dunfermline. Th' auld wheel
is as a palrt o' mysel', an' tae let it
go wud be like tearln' ma auld heart
oot."
."I repeat that I am very, very sorry,"
said the thoroughly penitent American.
"Had I known of these sacred asso
ciations I wonld never have made ths
offer."
"Ah. weel. let it pass." said the old
man with a sigh: "but, after what I've
been tellln' ye. ye can see I wudna be
Justified In lettin' it go for less than
six dollars an' a half."
And the deal was made,
v '
EARLY TO RISE.
A young chap of the city bad been
going the route, and his father re
solved to correct him. He was Shipped
to uncle's farm to work along with the
hands.
He had been In the habit of going to
bed at a couple o'clock and staying
activities connected with learning ani
the fine arts.
- Professor Barnes raises some inter
esting points in regard to woman suf
frage: "For purposes of political life, does
It not seem strange to bring up a gen
eration of boys and girls who are to
be the futtire citizens of a democraoy
under the exclusive leadership of peo
ple who have never been encouraged
to think about political life nor allowed
to participate in it? Let na by all
means enfranchise women; but even
then they cannot hope to quickly
catch up with those who have some
thousands of years the start, even
after allowing for the fact that girls
Inherit from both father and mother."
Political life is education, and wo
men should not be denied it. It la
Impossible to obtain a proper appre
ciation of politics by merely "looking
on." Participation is 'ne only meana
of learning. Citizenship gives one a
continuous laboratory course of train
ing In the art of right living. In the
past no one learned. "The Bourbons
learned nothing and forgot nothing,
and the -common people were too dis
couraged to think." Do we wish to
put women in the position of the Bour
bons by denying her suffrage? How
oan female teachers train safe citizens
for the future if they do not under
stand the processes involved well
enough to use them themselves?
It is idle to claim that equal suffrage
will make no change in women.
Value of Mature Women.
We shall lose something in the pres
ent transition, but one must be content
to lose Louis XIV and Versailles, if
thereby one finds modern France; one
muat be satisfied to lose an Institution
which gave us the tragically pathetlo
death of Alexander Hamilton, if it in
creases human Justice and saves fath
ers to their families. We must even
be content to lose the languishing, cro
cheting and confiding maiden of the
eighteenth century, if we gain in re
turn fair-minded cor-.rades in daily
living, devoted partners in family life,
and strong, intelligent mothers for the
coming generations. The sex instinct
needs no fostering; it has led us to our
best developments In civilization and
its work has only begun.
Professor Barnes brings forth an in
teresting point. "Wom- Is truly the
mother of Industries, and it in no way
detracts from her credit that her
motherhood is here, as elsewhere,
mainly unthinking." Persons who have
been serene in the belief that men
have originated practically everything
will be greatly surprised at hearing
that the development of agriculture,
for example, is due to women. While
her mate was out hunting, the female
savage of early times devoted , her
hours to cultivating plants. Her spin
ning and weaving Industries resulted
In factories which took over this work.
Since the eighteenth century a great
many industries originated Dy women
have left the home for the factory.
We shamefully waste the last third
of a woman's life, from 50 to 75 years
of age, the professor believes, because
we have failed to free egal limitations
and popular prejudices, so that we may
secure these best years of her life ior
private and public rervice. If one at- .
tends a state federation of women's
clubs one will find nearly every dele
gate of this age. They are women of
mature understanding and ripe Judg
ment, still possessing abundant health
and strength, and where relieved by
economic conditions from the necessity
of manual work they have to live such
Irregular and uncertain relations to
life as can be maintained by mothers-in-law.
grandmothers, club secretaries
and presidents of town improvement
societies. Remove all restrictions on
woman's activity and these strong ma
trons would vitalize our schools, give
us decent municipal housekeeping, su
pervise the condition under which glrla
and women work in shops and facto
ries and do much to clean up our pon
tics. Debarred from direct power as
they are, they are still making us fe
cent In spite of urselves.
Humorous Pens
there until noon. His first night at the
farm saw him in the hay at , and it
was some time before he got to sleep.
He had not been overpowered by work
at that time.
Around daybreak he was aroused by
uncle, who came into the room and
stood over the bed.
"Come, come, my boy," he said.
"You've got to get up. You're on the
farm now, you know.''
The light was not secure and the
sleepy city chap raised himself on his
elbow and rubbed his eyes,
x "What's up?" he asked.
"We're going out to cut the oats."
"Holy mackerel! Do you have to
sneak up on them in the dark?" Cbli
cago Post.
NO GIFTS ON EXHIBITION.
Jimmie had been a naughty boy, we
presume, but there Is a note of pathos
with the humor of the conversation he
conducted with the little girl next door
on the day after his sixth birthday,
says the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Show ma what you got for youi
birthday, Jimmie," begged the little
girL
"I won t do It," said Jimmie.
"Oh, please. Ain't I nice to youf
"Yep. You're all right."
"Then show me what you got"
"I daresn't honest. Marsret, I
daresn't!"
Investigation revealed that the pool
kid had received nothing but a spank
ing. DARWIN AS GIRLS READ HIM.
Miss Elizabeth Marbury, the dramatU
agent of New York, said at the Colon
Club the other day, according to th
New York Tribune:
"It is an error to think that the In.
tellectual girl is dowdy. Look at tht
girl graduates about you. Those wits
the highest marks wear usually tht
nicest frocks.
"I said one day to a Bryn Mawr girl!
" 'How beautifully your pannier gow
fits, dear. I thought you grave
reverend seniors were above such
trifles.
'Oh. no.' said she. We all believe
hers in the survival of the best fitted.' "