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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 4, 1912)
THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN. PORTLAND. AUGUST 10, 1912. U Jl U 11 , w a WM H LOOMI5 1. One day Jim Jump-Up cried with tears to his ambitious wife: "Say, Gen, I just can't stand no more of this here social life! If we don't shake this Newport place I'll die, as sure's can be! Please come away'in case you still are really fond o' me! " 2. "All right, poor boy," said Genevieve. "Where would you like to go? ' Back to the old folks on the farm," cried Jim, his face aglow. So that was why, a few days hence. Jim Jump-Up and his wife Appeared in Podunk Corners for a taste of simple life. They -brought no servants with them, for, said-Jim,' that wouldn't do. "We're goin' to live like farmer folks and rough it, me an' you."-' "Oh, great!" laughed happy Genevieve, elate with rural charm, "And you shall teach me everything to know about a farm. Isr . 4. :So 'round among the barnyard folk Jim took his eager bride. Through her lorgnette she saw new sights and with excitement cried; Aiicf when shesaw'Jim milk a cow it. thrilled her through and through. "Lwon't let on," she thought, ' but I will learn to do that, too!" 5. So, on the sly, next morn at nine, all in a bright red gownv She hied her to the meadows where the. cows were lying down. She chose one standing well apart,' with;coat as smooth as silk, And cutely ambled thither to extract the bovine's milk. 6. The lone "cow" turned, the red gown spied and shivered as with dread, Then gave a mighty bellow and advanced with lowering head, And Genevieve her milk pail dropped and fled across the lea With shrieks cf fear and swishing skirts, to seek and climb a tree. i 1 . ' V K, .... ' 7. The "cow," which was fK,cow at all, but of the other sort, The tree trunk charged and pawed and pranced with many an angry snorts And as the hours dragged slowly by poor Genevieve thought "Ob, Where, where is Jim? Why don't he come? Why won't that mean cow go? 8. Twas dusk when Jim discovered there his scared, despairing wife. "You've lots to learn," he said to her, "about the simple life." "The simple life!" she cried in rage. "Well, simple it may be, But Jim, as far as I have gone, it's too complex for me!" : .