THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAN, PORTLAND, JULY 31, 1912.
PORTLAND. OREGON.
Entered at Portland. Oregon. Postofflea a,
Secocd-Clasa Matter.
EuDacrlbtton Rates Invariably Advance.
BT MAILO
Dally. Sunday Included, on year r?S
pillr, Sunday Included, eix montha e
paliy. 6unflay included, three montha... j
tally. Sunday Included, one month
Eaily. without Sunday, one year J-"?
Da:,y. without Sunday, eix montha.....
Daily, without Sunday, three montha...
Dally, without Sunday, one month Tl
Weekly, one year i ? J
Sunday, one year ?
Eunday and Weekly, one year
BT CARBIER-
Dally. Sunday Included, one year..
Pally. Sunday Included, ono month
. Hoot to Kemit Send Poatofflce money or
er. express order or peraonal check on TOM
looa: bank. biainsa. coin or currency are
at the sender's ma. Give postotfice address
in full, including county and state.
'Postage Kateo 10 to 14 pages. I nt. 10
to is es. I centa; So to 4u pagee. eenle.
0 to ou pace. centa. Foreign postage,
double rate. r..v.
. ka.leru ttnainen Offlet Verre ConK
ltn New Tork. Brunswick buUding.
earo. sterer building. - -
8aa Francisco OfIce R. X Bldwell Co
tJ2 Market street. . .
European office No. 3 Regent atreet. -W..
London.
fORTUXD, RIXDAT, JCLY. 1.
. A STORY OF A LAWYER.
Once upon a time, many, many
years ago,' there dwelt a lawyer
Cormorant In the City of Utopia and
the State of Atlantis. There are no
lawyers like him now, but we fear
there may be some in the future and
therefore we are going to relate a few
tales from his biography for the warn
ing and admonition of the young. In
those days there were a great many
lawyers like Cormorant, but since his
time the character of the profession
has been exalted and if his i deeds
should now be imitated by any mem
ber of the bar he would be cast out in
disgrace and sent to prison. It is to
warn the young from a possible fate
of this sort that we undertake the dis
agreeable task of narrating some se
lections from the voluminous record
of Cormorant's misdeeds. Once he
was employed by a man named Gam
mon to collect a claim of $850 for him
from a certain Mr. Roe. Cormorant
collected the claim without much dif
ficultv. but, instead of turning the
1850 over to his client, he followed
the good, old rule of keeping whatever
you get and pocketed It. This was all
the more astute on Cormorant's part,
because he had already been paid his
full fee for the service. Before Gam
mon got his money he had to hire an
other lawyer to sue Cormorant, which
made business lively in the -profession,
though it was hard on the poor client.
Still, since the public then existed for
the benefit of the lawyers, it was com
monly agreed that Cormorant's con
duct had been for the general wel
fare. ' On another occasion Cormorant was
' employed by a man called Simpleton
to defend him in court. At the trial
Simpleton was set free for want of
any evidence against him. but he had
put up J500 bail, and this, by some
process which the reader may think
out for himself, fell into Cormorant's
hands. Did he pay it over to poor
Simpleton? Not he. He kept it, Just
as he did Gammon's claim, and
again it was necessary for his client
to hire another lawyer before he could
fret his dues. This little piece of
sharp practice on Cormorant's part
was much admired by his fellow law
yers in those benighted days. Xow
they would all be horrified if such a
ttilng were to happen.
' But the climax of Cormorant's
sable-hued career came in his deal
ings with Jennie Sago. Jennie was a
mature woman who had worked all
her life and managed to lay up a lit
tle money, about 1813. Cormorant,
smelling out this fact by a marvelous
instinct which was common in those
days among lawyers, inveigled Jennie
to w-ork for him as a maid servant.
In this capacity he won her confidence
ind got the JS13 into his hands. Part
of it he lent on a mortgage. The rest
lie kept. When Jennie asked him for
the note and mortgage he refused to
pfive them up to her. He collected
the Interest on the loan and assimilat
ed that also. Jennie finally left his
service and found another place. Her
new employer, taking pity on the
woman for her evil fortune, tried to
wrest some of her money from Cor
morant's possession. The lawyer at
first pretended that he never had
heard of such a woman as Jennie
Spro. When that pose became impos
sfble he cooked up a story that she
owed him lawyer's fees enough to eat
tip all her money. Meanwhile the for
lorn woman began to have fits of de
spondency. The money which Cor
morant had swindled her out of repre
sented the savings of her life and she
declared that if she must lose it she
wanted to die. A short time afterward
she committed suicide. Did Cormor
r.ht care? No. indeed. It was all in
the way of his business. Everything
he had done was quite professional in
those days.
So regular and strictly professional
was it all that when a vacancy oc
curred in the municipal Judgeship of
Utopia, the Mayor, a most learned
and pious man, appointed Cormorant
to fill the position. The Mayor knew
all -about Cormorant when he gave
him the appointment, so It stands to
reason that he approved of his con
duct. As a Judge. Cormorant pursued
the same oourse of conduct which had
won him so much credit when he was
practicing at the bar. For example, a
certain lewd woman was Jailed one
day and about to be tried In Cormor
ant's court. A day or two before the
trial the Judge visited her in her dun
geon and ordered her to employ one
Goldsmith, a dear friend of Cormor
ant's, to defend her. If she employed
Goldsmith she would be acquitted.
Cormorant told her. If she did not,
she would be convicted. That was the
way Justice was dispensed in those
days in the Municipal Court of Utopia.
The lewd woman was ordered to pay
Goldsmith for his services $150, which
was to be divided into three parts, one
going to Cormorant, the Judge; one to
Goldsmith, and the third who was to
f;et the third nobody knows.
Let us all be thankful that In these
happy times there are no lawyers like
Cormorant, and that, if there were,
none of them could ever hope to be
appointed a Judge. Such is the purity
of the legal profession now that no
member of it would dare to appropri
ate money belonging to his clients or
cjteat his maid servant out of her
property. If he did such deeds he
would not only be punished by legal
process and expelled from the bar. but
not a lawyer in all the land 'would be
seen speaking to him for fear of shar
ing his disgrace. Municipal Judges do
not abuse their power in our blessed
times to wring money from prostitutes
nor do Mayors select swindlers and
blacklegs for positions on the bench.
The events which we have narrated
happened Ion and long r.go, when our
civilization was primitive and the
Ideals of the bench and bar were very"
low. Cormorant is dead and gore to
his account, and the Mayor who iiffye
him a Judge has had to answer for It
before a tribunal which Is not subject
to political influence. Still, the cir
cumstances seem to convey a lesson
even for our own day, though wo are
not quite certain what It can be. If
such things were to arise now, the
State Bar Association, through Its
grievance committee, would pursue
the infamous Cormorant by day and
by night until he was expelled from
the ranks and landed In prison, and
the imputation that might rest on- the
legal profession through Its tolerance
of criminal practices by any lawyer
would be removed.
MICHIGAN AND CAI.IFORNIA.
If we have been inclined heretofore
to find fault with the third party for
constituting Itself an Itinerant body,
so that it might move on,' or move
back to the Republican party, as
occasion suited, we are to an extent
reassured by the latest Oyster Bay
ultimatum via the state of Michigan.
The still faithful Dixon has been in
Michigan with full authority from the
Colonel to say what's what. This time
the sovereign command is that the
way to organize a new party is to
have a new party. The National Pro
gressives of Michigan are therefore di
rected to place In the field "a full
ticket, embracing Presidential elec
tors, and state, congressional and leg
islative candidates."
Do the ' National Progressives of
Oregon get that? Apparently Fred
Mulkey is the only real live progres
sive who has been willing to wet his
feet by crossing the Rubicon, for he
is safely on the other side, in the pro
gressive camp, though all alone, all
alone. All the rest have stayed and
raised the rebel flag over the camp,
armament, muniments, and impedi
menta of the Old Guard. But some
day they will have to cross over, too,
and the guerilla warfare will be over
and an open and honorable conflict
will be on.
Colonel Roosevelt ought to send Mr.
Dixon out to California to give the
bushwhacker Johnson some notion of
real warfare. The Johnson purpose
is to confiscate the whole party ma
chinery, usurp the party function, anil
destroy the Taft minority In the state
by outlaw methods. It is proposed
that the coming Fall the state Re
publican convention, being in the
Johnson control, shall nominate Presi.
dentlal electors pledged to Roosevelt,
and that tha complicated machinery
of the election laws shall be employed
to deprive Mr. Taft of any candidates
for elector. The voter who wants to
vote. for a Republican elector, or for
Taft, has only, the alternative of
Roosevelt, Wilson, Socialist or Prohi
bitionist. Thus a hundred thousand
and more sovereign" voters are to be
disfranchised through trickery and
dishonorable manipulation of the
steam roller by the impeccable Call
fornlans who made so uproarious a
protest at Chicago about the tactics
of the remorseless majority.
Thou shalt not steal. The Bible
says "thou," It will be noticed. The
discovery that it says "thou" and not
''i" or "we," was evidently made in
California.
STAYING ON THE BENCH FOR LIFE.
Senator Cummins the other day
called attention to the fact that Fed
eral Judges are appointed to hold of
fice "during good behavior" and not
for life, as most people and all Judges
assume. But there is no method pro
vided In the Constitution by which a
judge may be dismissed from office
except under impeachment for "trea
son, bribery and other high crimes
and miso'emeanors." Drunkenness Is
hardly a high crime, except in a social
sense; and engaging in a private
transaction to buy a culm bank at a
low figure from a corporation that
may happen to be a frequent litigant
Is not treason; but clearly It is not
good behavior.
The clumsy and solemn process of
impeachment presents such formid
able obstacles to the enforced retire
ment of any Federal judge that it has
been seldom followed. The constitu
tional lawyer has not yet arisen to say
that the President has the arbitrary
power to strip of his ermine any err
ing Judge who is guilty of bad be
havior; yet it would seem that the
authority which appoints ought also
to have the right to discharge under
the "good behavior" rule.
Our Federal Judges as a class are
men of conscience, courage, intelli
gence and Industry. The history of
the Federal judiciary reflects credit
upon Its incumbents and honor upon
the country.
But occasionally the bench Is dis
honored by a judge who is either par
tial or lazy or dissipated, or perhaps
venal. It Is only occasionally; yet the
misconduct of such a Judge does much
to bring all judges in public disfavor,
and is largely responsible for the
clamor that has gone up throughout
the country for reform of the judici
ary. A summary method ought to be de
vised for removal, or at least sus
pension, of any Judge on the suffi
cient ground of unfitness. In a state
it should be lodged with the Gov
ernor, or with the Supreme Court; In
the Nation with the President A
good judge ought to welcome scrutiny
of his acts; a bad judge is made worse
by knowledge that he is safe for life.
The Judicial recall Is a bogey that
has alarmed the country. It has ex
isted In Oregon for years, and has
never been invoked, or seriously
threatened, but once. Yet every Judge
in the state is, and has been, under
the menace of a recall in his re-election
and every Judge Is made aware,
in one way or another, that the pub
lic favor is his most important politi
cal asset. The recall worries no Ore
gon Judge; the popular method of
election concerns them all.
OLYMPIC GAMES AND TJB METRIC
SYSTEM.
From one point of view the most
interesting feature of the Olympic
games has been the use of the metric
system. The race courses, the ham
mer throws, the high Jumps and so
on are measured in meters and cen
timeters. When the young men from
the various countries of the world re
turn home their haunts will resound
with talk In which the decimal scale
will form an important part. Feet
and inches are things of the past as
far as international athletics are con
cerned. Miles will no more be heard
of. In place of them we shall speak
of kilometers.
Perhaps the Introduction of the
scientific French system into athletics
will facilitate its use in other depart
ments of life and this generation may
live to see the last of our awkward
and dificult method of computing
weights and measures. According to
our table, twelve Inches make a foot,
three feet a yard, five and a half
yards a rod and 320 rods a mile. It
is as irregular and meaningless as a
table could possibly be. Contrast it
with the French table, where ten mil
limeters make a centimeter, ten centi
meters a decimeter and ten decime
ters a meter. This Is as simple as
dollars and cents.
The entire metric, system runs in
tens. It has been extended to dis
tances, land measures, estimating
wood, weights and everything else for
which exact computation is required.
It imposes but little strain on. the
memory and Is much easier to apply
In practice than our cumbersome ta
bles. Yet the metric weights and
measures have never made much
headway In the English-speaking
countries. Our children are obliged
to master the old. Irrational scales In
school and this indisposes them to
seek for anything better. We cling
to the inconvenient by force of bad
habit.
The fresh Interest In the metric
system which the Olympic games must
awaken will no doubt help to break
the spell of our Inertia. When boys
have learned the facility and. economy
of a scientific system of measure
ments for their sports its application
to business ought not to be long de
layed. Old-fashioned pedagogues af
fect to despise the metric system as
thor 'iln ao-rtciiltiire and domestic
economy, but, be it thankfully said,
their day Is about over.
OPPORTUNITY IXES WESTWARD,
nn west, vouns- man." Nearly or
quite half a century has passed since
Horace Greeley utterea mis Base
vice. Millions of young men have
irnfit4 hv It The West has grown
and blossomed and prospered. Today
the same advice Is repeated Dy iivb
great financiers of the East. The
West still possesses boundless oppor
tunities. They are here to be grasped
by young men of energy and attain
ments. nn .Tiiiw 1 tho New York World
published a full page symposium of
opinions it had received irom, men ui
prominence In the fields of politics,
hmlnrss and finance. These opinions
were given in response to the query
"What should the young college sia.u
uate do?" Most specific of any as to
loojitiner for life's endeavor Is the an
swer given by Thomas W. Lawson, the
Boston financier, "were i graauai
ing today from college east, west or
south," he says, "I would head for
the great undeveloped Northwest. I
would buy my ticket ror -oruana,
Oregon."
A. B. Hepburn, chairman of the
board of directors 'of the Chase Na
tional Bank of New York, mentions
Oregon, with Washington, Montana,
Idaho and British Columbia. "I should
say," he continues, "that for a young
man Just leaving college the most
nrnmkini fipM is the Northwest, and
that in regard to "a calling or profes
sion to follow he may just as wen
follow his own Inclination, for provid
ing Via la no-pr trt work he will find
abundant opportunity In a hundred
directions."
"P self-reliant, keeo minute ac
counts and go west of Chicago," In
brief is the advice given by William
Sherer. manager or tne rew mia
Clearing House Association.
Tt F Rush, nresldent of the Mis
souri Pacific Railroad, declares that
the best chances for success lie west
of the Mississippi River.
From F. L. Wilk. banker and rail
road man of Chicago, comes the opin
ion that for a young man tnrown upon
his own resources the West and
Northwest offer the best opportuni
ties. Of seven men quoted, only one,
James G. Cannon, president of the
Rrtnrtn National Rank. New York
City, specifically advises the young
man to remain in tne .tiast. oiay
Hc-ht at hnm and be a farmer In
New York State," he says in effect.
Governor Thomas K. Marsnau oi
Indiana urges young men to take up
scientific farming. Indeed, this open
ing is pointed out by nearly all the
writers as one of the most- promising
or the day.
There is more than one significance
In the suggestions. These men are
successful in life, observant oi
conditions, in touch with the indus
trial, commercial and financial phases
of every large locality. Doubtless their
recommendations will promote settle
ment of lands where it is most needed.
Moreover, there is an Imrilied indorse
ment therein of Western development
enterprises. These financiers have
cnnlrun thiir rnnfidpnM in the North
west. Their opinions ought to make
easier tne ODtaining oi capital ior
worthy, legitimate enterprises.
rio Wost vonnp man" has been
sound advice for 50 years. It will re
main sound until a century or more
has sustained the prophetic vision of
the man who first gave it to the
world.
BOLTERS WHO DO NOT BOLT.
At Dairy, Oregon, we are informed
by a subscriber, there is much discus
sion over two questions. They are
these:
Con a defeated party candidate for a nom
ination In the April primaries re-enter the
mi-, for flip same office aa an independent
at the following- November election?
Can a successful party nominee at me
Aoril primary withdraw from the November
election ?
Doubtless the same questions have
been propounded and are being dis
cussed in many other communities.
One. the second query, goes into a
very material Issue in view of the
suspected or announced attitude of
some of the Presidential electors and
the. openly declared stand of one Re
publican candidate for Representative
in Congress.
We know of no provision in the law
which prohibits a defeated aspirant
for nomination in the party primaries
from seeking office as an independent
candidate in the subsequent general
election. There is, however, a provi
sion In the primary law. which deals
with withdrawals In such a way as
seemingly to preclude the retirement
by any nominee who may become dis
satisfied with party procedure or
party platforms.
The nominating election laws that
existed prior to enactment of the
direct primary law contained two sec
tions relative to withdrawals.. They
are now sections 3343 and 3344 of
Lord's Oregon. Laws. Section 3343
originally permitted any person whi
had been nominated and who had
accepted such nomination to file a
withdrawal in writing prior to the
general election. Section 3344 pre
scribed the method of filling vacan
cies on the ticket caused by death or
withdrawal.
The direct primary law adopted in
1905 modified these provisions. Sec
tion 19 of that law (Section 3367
L. O. L.) reads as follows:
The provisions of sections 3343 and 3344
(withdrawals) shall apply to nominations or
petitlona for nominations made under the
provisions of this law, in case of the death
of the candidate or his removal from the
state or his county or electoral district before
the date of the ensuing- election, bnt in no
other case. In case of any such vacancy by
death or removal from the state or from the
county or electoral district, such vacancy
may be filled by the committee which has
been given power by the political party or
th!a law to fill such vacancies substantially
In tha manner provided by sections 3345
and 3346.
The law as it has been amended
by the Presidential primary act
makes a peculiar situation in Oregon.
Party choice of candidates is made
before the National convention acts.
Candidates for office on the Repub
lican ticket thus named who cannot
subscribe to the principles enunciated
in the National platform .and those
candidates - for Presidential Elector
who will not support the party can
didate for President are. not Repub
licans. They are prospective mem
bers of a new party, yet they will go
before the people soliciting the votes
of their political enemies and repu
diating the implied pledge to which
they subscribed when they sought the
Republican nomination. Not one has
yet indicated a desire to withdraw his
name from the Republican ticket
Each seems to glory in the anomaly
and unmorality of his position. Doubt
less it would make no difference if
the law concerning withdrawals of
candidates read otherwise. They are
so enamoured of office that most,
perhaps all, of them would take it
no matter how they got it. With
them "Thou shalt not steal" bears a
literal construction. The highly moral
motto applies to "thou," not "us."
As a result of the situation brought
about by the Chicago bolt there is
cause for amendment of the Oregon
direct primary law. To alter the sec
tion quoted in full herein would not
reach the issue. Voluntary- withdraw
als by men in whom party confidence
has been misplaced are not to be ex
pected even when permitted by stat
ute. We might extend the recall to
party candidates, but there is a sim
pler and cheaper method. Candidates
should not be named until party issues
are made up.
THE CASE FOB GREEK.
The debate upon the value of Greek
as a college study still rages intermit
tently among the learned. No com
mon person cares enough about the
language of Plato even to quarrel over
it, but university professors find it
useful as a subject for more or less
animated discussion when other topics
are worn out and conversation threat
ens to languish over the wine or
academic periodicals lack a page or
two of respectable filling. When
every other theme has been exhausted
it is always possible to say something
in favor of making boys and girls
learn Greek which shall sound ortho
dox and conservative. The fact that
no student ever does learn it, even
where it is taught longest and most
laboriously makes no difference to
these portly champions. They are so
used to dealing with unrealities that
they can easily imagine a whole world
of people mad with enthusiasm over
Aristophanes and Menander and they
proceed to talk and write as if their
airy phantom were substantial. There
are still a few colleges in America
where Greek Is compulsory for the
degree of bachelor of arts. This re
qtllrement usually goes with obliga
tory attendance at morning chapel
and a portentous reverence for secret
societies.
These three fetishes have about the
same value. The student who at
tends morning chapel because he
does not dare to stay away can scarce
ly be expected to be very ardent In his
devotions. The secret society which
makes the greatest parade of mystery
Is the emptiest of the whole empty
family. And the language which is
studied only because it has long been
the fashion to study it leads to noth
ing but vanity. It is doubtful if there
is a solitary college graduate in the
United States who is able to sit down
and read a page of Aristophanes, even
with the aid of a dictionary. Some
few remember a half dozen sentences
of Plato for a year or two after they
graduate. Then that fades too and
for all the time and pains they spent
over their "classical studies" they
have nothing whatever to show except
a vacancy in the head. To be sure
they have the consolatory distinction
of saying to one another that they
have studied Greek, Just as fellow
members of the awful society of the
hip bone and cervical vertebra can
discurs the fateful Initiation cere
monies, but what of It? Who cares?
If all the secret societies in all the
colleges in the country were to col
lapse today and be heard of no more
forever it would not make an atom
of difference to the progress of the
world; and If no class in Greek were
to be taught next year or in any sub
sequent year things would go on pre
cisely the same. Nobody would be
any the worse except a few super
fluous professors who would proba
bly lose their chairs and nobody would
be any the better. The students who
now waste their time over Greek
would probably waste It over some
thing still more senseless. So we
might as well let the Greek classes
proceed. The study of that lovely
tongue is an elegant and innocent way
of dawdling through the four college
years. The fancy that they are learn
ing something as they putter away
idly at their dictionaries and Greek
texts agreeably divert young men
and maidens who have nothing better
to do, while it provides an income
for a number of irreproachable pro
fessors most of whom have families
to support.
Students who really want to learn
something useful and prepare them
selves for an active part in the world's
work do not go to colleges where
Greek and other futile branches are
required. The choice of institutions
is wide enough to suit every demand.
Those who want an old-fashioned
orthodox "education" without any
admixture of common sense can easi
ly find colleges which will gratify
their desire. Those who want to soil
their hands with machinery and
chemical experiments and study the
organization of the social world can
find colleges just as easily which will
provide what they seek. The educa
tional world is very agreeably organ
ized. It has room for all sorts of dis
positions and tries commendably hard
to please all tastes. Those who want
to be indolent can find plenty of
highly respectable colleges to educate
them for that vocation. Those who
want to be useful need not go begging
for instruction. If it were worth
while to institute a comparison among
the more or less vapid college studies
no doubt Greek would win the palm
for utter vanity. But it is not worth
while. The arguments for contin
uing this bootless branch of instruc
tion are sufficiently strong to con
vince those who make their bread by
teaching it and what more can you
ask? After all, the principal pur
pose of a college is to provide a com
fortable living for the professors.
The foremost of these arguments is
that the modern world owes an im
mense debt to Greece. From that un
deniable fact the conclusion is drawn
that every college boy ought to study
the Greek language. It is Just about
as logical as it would be to conclude
that because the human race owes an
Immense debt to the horse therefore
every man ought to eat oats. We can
show a befitting gratitude to ancient
Greece without' compelling our youthV
to waste four of their best years pot
tering over a language which they
cannot learn and which would be
useless to them if they could. Greek
history .is related in English works a
great deal more accurately than it is
in Thucydldes and Xenophon. Grote
has resolved problems of Hellenic life
which Thucydldes never understood.
The poetry of Homer and Sophocles
has been translated over and over
again so well that even a professor
of Greek cannot miss its beauties.
Plato can. be studied in Jowett's
translation to better purpose than in
the original. Why under the shining
stars, then, should we force youths
to waste their time pretending to
learn the Greek language? Every
body knows why. It is for mental
discipline. Aimless doddering for four
years over a subject which begins in
nothing and leads nowhere is sup
posed to have immeasurable disciplin
ary value. Such is the degree of com
mon sense which we find among some
of our college professors.
PRACTICABLE REFORMS.
A rrtrrpRnnn dent whose letter
to
The Oregonian is printed today in
another column, does us the honor to
quote the following from a recent
editorial article in this paper: "We
do not admit that $600 a year is
enough money to spend on a growing
American family in a big city and we
want conditions improved in some
way, so that the man who needs J900
can obtain it honestly and without
toiling unreasonably hard for it."
Our correspondent then proceeds to
ask If we "have no way to suggest?"
plainly Implying that we have none,
while he, speaking for the socialists,
has any number. He does not tell us
what they are. Hence we are not in
a situation to pass judgment upon
them, but we are not quite so desti
tute of remedies on our own part as
he seems to suppose.
The Oregonian has been advocating
for a long time several perfectly
definite and practicable measures
which would help relieve the work
ing man of some of his burdens. They
would not cure all the evils af society
in an instant, but would appreciably
improve conditions and make the
next step forward easier to take. In
our opinion the world must be cured
of its troubles gradually. We believe
in evolution and have but small faith
in the revolution which our corre
spondent predicts. If such an event
were to occur the worklngman would
lose much by It and gain nothing.
To speak in detail and not in those
"generalities" which our correspond
ent rebukes we may mention that The
Oregonian favors a parcels post. This
wholly desirable measure would at
once lower the cost of living to city
dwellers and increase the farmers' in
come. It. would eliminate a host of
parasitic middlemen who at present
perform no useful function and fatten
at the expense of both producer and
consumer; Besides that, the parcels
post would aici powerfully to spread
intelligence in the rural districts,
would promote agriculture, encourage
roadmaking and help build up
churches and schools. There is no
other single measure which would be
gin to do so much for the improve
ment of both urban and rural condi
tions as the parcels post. While it
might not directly operate to raise
wages, It would make current incomes
go so much farther that the effect
would be the same as if it did.
Again, The Oregonian has spoken
in season and out of season for co
operation among producers and con
sumers. We feel positively assured
that by the Judicious combination of
purchasers the cost of living could be
materially reduced to every family in
the country. On the other hand,
were producers to unite their interests
they would receive more for their
goods without raising the price to
buyers.
So we might go on rehearsing the
ameliorative measures which The
Oregonian has advocated for years,
but no doubt .enough has been said to
show how far from the facts our cor
respondent has permitted himself to
stray. If he and others who wish well
to the world would unite in promoting
practicable reforms, instead of clam
oring for a foolish and impossible rev
olution, we should all move much
faster toward the perfect state.
WOMEN AND HEATHEN RELIGION.
Many persons concerned with the
welfare of foreign missions are greatly
exercised over the spread of some of
the so-called .heathen religions in the
United States. The situation seems to
be much the same as it was with Car
thage when the Romans sent an army
to invade Africa while Hannibal's
troops were in Italy. There is more
than one flourishing Mohammedan
mosque in the United States. At Green
Acre, New Hampshire, there is a sort
of Chautauqua, amply endowed by the
late Miss Farmer, where the mysteries
of the Vedantlc philosophy and Hindu
mysticism are taught every Summer to
rapt throngs of converts. All over
the country there are classes in
"Yoga" which set the Hindu scriptures
above the Bible. Almost everywhere
among a certain class of Intellectual
people one meets with the notion that
the sacred books of India contain a
treasure of religious wisdom not to be
found anywhere else. The ancient
faith of Zoroaster is professed by sev
eral congregations in Chicago and
other cities. The great god Ahura
Mazda has two temples in Illinois, with
a third in course of construction at
Montreal.
Thus it is evident that while our
foreign missionaries are diligent and
often successful in their propaganda
of Christianity, the heathen faiths
have begun to retaliate by invading
the home of Christianity. Perhaps
the time will come when, as in the
early centuries of our era, a struggle
for existence will arise between the
religion of Jesus and that of Zoroaster
or Buddha. It was a form of Maglan
ism which overran a great part of the
Roman empire at about the time of St.
Augustine and narrowly missed extin
guishing Christianity. Augustine him
self was a Maniachaean, as the devo
tees of the sect were called, in his
youth, but by the labors of St. Am
brose he became a convert to the true
faith. Which of the many heathen
cults that are spreading in the United
States Is likely to become predomi
nant nobody is in a position to say.
Very likely none.of them will become
really dangerous except to individuals,
but, on the other hand, it is impossi
ble to assert positively that some old
heathen belief may not take root and
spread all over the land. The prog
ress of a false religion is like that of a
cancer occasionally. It lies dormant
for a long time and is scarcely percep
tible. Then all of a sudden, it begins
to subdue everything in its way, dev
astating the entire body. It would bo
unwise to despise American Moham
medanism or Mazda worship because
up to the present their congregations
are small and scattering.
The devotees of tliese foreign faiths
are of all ages and both sexes. A few
scholarly men have been attracted to
them. Of course children are to be
found in all the congregations.
But by far the larger number
of the converts to Vedantlsm,
theosophy, Zoroastrianism and the
other outlandsh cults are women. The
fair sex has taken to experimenting in
strange religions today, just as it did
in Rome at about the period of Au
gustus, and, no doubt, for the same
reason. In those daj-s an industrial
rerolution had taken place in Rome
which left the women with little or
nothing to do at home. The old do
mestic vocations had passed into the
hands of slaves. In the early days of
the republic the wife and mother spun,
wove, sewed and cooked for her fam
ily, but in the Augustan age she no
longer did anything of the sort.
Slaves had usurped all of her domes
tic tasks. Left, with vast unoccupied
stretches of time on their hands, the
Roman women naturally sought for
something to interest them, and noth
ing offered except religion. So they
brought in new faiths from every part
of the world and there was a veritable
orgy of strange worship.
We have the privilege of witnessing
a similar phenomenon in the United
States in our own time. An. industrial
revolution almost exactly parallel
to that in ancient Rome has deprived
women of their domestic occupations.
The work has passed, not Into the
hands of slaves, to be sure, but to ma
chines, ad It comes to the same thing.
Multitudes of intelligent and active
women are left with nothing to do.
Nature forces them to seek an outlet
for their energies to stave off insanity
and vice, and, for want of something
better, a certain class turn to the hea
then religions. Their choice is unfor
tunate, but we should pity them for
making it, not blame them. If they
had been taught to appreciate their
social duties and recognize the great
tasks which the world demands of un
occupied women, they never would
have fallen into this sad error. But
they were taught in childhood that the
first duty of a-woman was to be fool
ish and useless, and in choosing to
worship Zoroaster and adore Buddha
they are simply obeying the precepts
they learned in their youth. In
deed the same precepts are still taught
to girls everywhere, and as long as
they form the staple of female educa
tion we may. expect all sorts of follies
to flow from them in later years.
The way to overcome the drift to
heathenism is to teach women that
they are responsible members of soci
ety with social duties corresponding to
those of men. As long as they are
taught that it is unwomanly to b! sen
sible and useful they will continue to
be foolish and useless. If women had
the right to vote and take an equal
hand with men in public affairs, they
would show as little disposition as
men do to stray after heathen gods.
An id'.e brain Is the devil's workshop.
The Michigan progressives T. R.'s
progressives have had the courage to
declare for the Initiative, referendum
and the recall. That sounds like busi
ness. Probably the T. R. National
platform will do the same thing. The
Republicans forgot all about the ini
tiative, referendum and recall, and
the Democratic platform wholly ig
nores the Oregon system. Whereat
various little papers and little poli
ticians in Oregon are in something of
a sweat. But here comes the Roose
velt platform with good strong stuff
in it, and the only true friends of the
Oregon system and enemies of all who
are not friends of the Oregon system
will sit up and take notice. Their
home is with Roosevelt and there of
course they will go. What else is
there for the fellows who bellowed
and roared for weeks because Taft
never indorsed the Oregon system?
The conversion of Hetty Green is a
spiritual victory in which the Rev.
Augustine Elmendorff may feel par
donable pride. Only rarely do women,
or men either, forsake their sins at
the age of 78 years. Conversion takes
place in childhood or not at all, as a
rule. The scoffer might hint that
Hetty has entered her second child
hood and thus account for the event,
but he would only be laughed at.
There will never be any second child
hood for that Indurated Wall-street
Amazon. We doubt if there was ever
a first.
The statement that Professor Cus
ter, of California, "was still alive but
beyond resuscitation" involves a con
tradiction. Resuscitation is always
possible as long as there is a spark of
life. Some claim that even the dead
by drowning can be revived. Profes
sor Custer had been in the water a
long time when he was found, but the
chances are that he need not have
perished. It is one of the sad defects
of education that the simple methods
of saving life are so little understood.
Typhoid fever has been uncommon
ly fatal this season. As Fall ap
proaches and the rains wash refuse
into wells and streams, its victims will
be more numerous still. The typhoid
fly breeds rapidly as rubbish accumu
lates toward September. This disgust
ing insect spreads the disease far and
wide. There is no more excuse for
tolerating flies than bedbugs In houses.
Both are engendered in filth.
There is one point that the voters can't
get around. That is, if this proposed taxa
tion (single tax is so very bad that it will
ruin the country and take the stars off the
flag why the antls don't urge a trial of it
in the tbree counties that its results may be
an object lesson to this great country?
That's a hard one to get by on, isn't It?
Oregon City Courier.
Great scheme! We never thought
of it, before. Let's be a horrible ex
ample. Let's try it on the dog and
be the dog.
Mr. Thompson appears to have pur
sued his courtship of the fair Mrs.
Goodeve mainly at Portland's most
popular roadhouses and wayside inns.
There is where the course of true love
flourishes best for awhile.
The Elks go, but their works sur
vive them. For the bank clearances
serve as a testimonial of the activity
of the Elks in spending their money.
Good money, too, and not tainted.
Mr. Wilson has politely determined
not to mention his opponents during
the campaign; but the Mentioner in
the Outlook office will have its usual
megaphonic attachments.
Steffens is worse than an Anarchist,
he says, for he believes in Christian
ity, and practices it. Colonel Wood
will have to go some to beat it.
If Senator Root tells what hap
pened at Chicago, and all that hap
pened, the Ananias club will have its
most important accession.
The only First Party organize a
third party? Never.
Scraps and Jingles
By Leone Cass Baer.
"I'll be O. K. again, I'll be bound."
said the dilapidated magazine to Itself.
e
Quaker woman weighs 300 announce!
a headline. Sort of earth quakers. as
it were.
e
Speaking of Quakers wouldn't one
be a bad second in a duel?
No Esther, the Charge of the Light
Brigade was not written about the gal
company.
see
Nowadays its handsome is as hand
some has.
e e
A kiss in time leads to nine.
eve
Time, tide and suffragettes wait for
no man.
e e
Music hath charms to wake the si
lent guest and set all the visitors gab
bling their best.
e e
A sound critic is a musical critic.
Wit is a boomerang that quick re
turns to hand. But sarcasms, venomed
shafts stick tight where 'er they land.
wee
If there's a skeleton in every House,
where is the one in the Senate?
e e i
Among the "horrors of the Titanic"
is a new popular song about it.
e ' e e
M'iss Calamity Step-and-fetch-it, the
charming and cultured lady poet of
Kansas, has written a pretty ballad on
"A Troublesome Pair." At first I
thought it belonged in the fruit de
partment and was going to- can it.
Then I read the pome and saw I was
plum wrong. Says Calamity:
Why, O why, must you go 4000 miles?
It throws our correspondence out of
gear.
I can't afford to cable you, dear He
Besides, to the sailors it might look
queer.
You wrote of your rheumatlz I sym
pathized. You got my answer ten days after date
When you was up and around again.
Which you in your next letter did re
late. In the meantime I had wrote you one
In which the terrible heat made me
sigh
Now today when its so derned cold I
sneeze
I get your sympathizing reply.
And so Its bothering me considerable.
Our missives miss are cold or fond;
There's just one cure dear He, come
home.
And then we'll meet and cease to cor
respond. Perverse Mankind
By Dean Collins.
The writing is upon the wall,
From California's Summer peaches.
Threatening boycott stern upon
Hotels that perch on manless beaches.
"Give to us men, or else we go
And leave you to your desolation."
This have they said to those who hold
The haunts of fashionable vacation.
Brave men they seek, who'll dare the
chill
Of ocean surf that cramp creator
Wise men who understand the ways
Of cranky auto's carburetor.
Strong men, the type that undismayed
A lengthy dancing programme faces;
Deft men, who well can fetch and bear
Teacups and fans and scarfs and
laces.
And the innkeepers, seeing how
They stand to lose full many a dollar,
Forth to the cities send amain
A raucous Macedonian holler.
Seductive rates do they declare.
Their hoped-for customers assuring
Of every kind of courtesy
Truly a prospect most alluring.
Sooth, It Is sad, when ladles call
And vexed and worried bonifaces
Make the way clear; that men should bt
So loth to seek the summering places.
Perverse mankind! They hearken not;
They shun the swallowtail for khaki,
And, like lone Injuns, roam the woods
With gun and rod and pounds of
"baccy."
Alone they whrp the purlingbrooks
And waste their days with merely
fishing.
While on the long and manless beach
A thousand maids are vainly wishing.
For, sooth to say, the brutes perverse,
If they be anywhere near normal.
Revert to the primeval woods
And duck the Summer beaches formal.
SOLUTION OF LIVING PROBLEM
Socialist Asks for DUcuasion of Reme
dies Not Condition.
PORTLAND, July 16. (To the Edi
tor )m an editorial July 9 replying
to Mr. Uthoff's letter of same date
you express a willingness that condi
tions as they are. be made known to
the people. You say "we do not admit
that J600 is enough money to spend on
a growing American family in a big
city and we want conditions improved
In some way so that the man who
needs 900 can obtain it honestly and
without toiling unreasonably hard lor
You "want conditions improved in
some way." Have you no "way" to
suersest? You acknowledge that the
present method of distribution of
wealth Is wrong. We knew that long
ago. What we want is a change of
method that will correct the evils of
the present system.
The Oregonian is a big paper with a
powerful Influence. In Its columns you
discuss, editorially, financial and poli
tical questions specifically and in de
tail, but you touch upon this vital
economic question only In generalities.
Will you not specify what you propose
to do to relieve the millions who are
suffering as a result of present unjust
Many people realize that a revolution
is at hand, that a change must take
place. A few are aware the change
has been In progress many ye-
that the revolution they are Jok'"K
forward to is all but achieved. The
hulk of the production of wealth has
Passed from the hands of individuals
Into the hands of communities Note
the change in the textile industry. At
one time8 the Individual prepared the
raw material, spun and wove it and
turned out the finished fabric. Now a
"hole community of workers is re
oulred to produce the finished cloth
and a hundred workers accomplish now
what would have required several
Thousand by the old methods. It is
tne same with all the principal In
dustries. An individual can no longer
turn out a finished product. In other
words the production of wealth has
been socialized. ..'
We socialists propose that the peo
ple take enough intelligent Interest In
their own welfare to socialize the dis
tribution of wealth as well as Its pro
duction. We have very definite plans
for the accomplishment of this object.
If the people of this country are
half as Industrious in studying this
question that so vitally affects their
well being as the politicians are in
studying ways and means of fooling
"em a solution of the problem will be
quickly reached. R- B-
Opinion On a Hobble Skirt.
Boston Transcript.
He So that's your first hobble skirt
Well, how do you feel in It?
She About the same as a mermaid
looks