TTTTV SUNDAY OREGONIAN. PORTLAND. MAY 19, 1912.
IT I
Drawings by
WM H LO OM I S
1. Jim Jump-Up sadly watched his wife grow cultured day by day.
Her voice was good; she learned to sing, and even learned to plav.
And every new accomplishment brought envy deep to Jim,
Who felt that she was growing far superior to him.
2. He tried to learn a dozen things he even tackled singing.
Until the neighbors all complained and started boot-jacks flinging!
But still to find his "sphere" he strove with perseverance tragic,
And finally he found it, as he thought, in Parlor Magic!
3. Week in. week out he practised tricks and apparatus bought;
Then showed his skill to Genevieve. 'Twas wonderful, she thought.
"Let's have some folks to dinner, dear.' she said, "and then, you know
I'll sing and you'll surprise them with your clever magic show!
4. The dinner was a fine affair, and Jim behaved alt right.
And Genevieve sang afterward, to everyone's delight.
Then Jimpson placed Jim's box of tricks upon the parlor tabl
Ant! Jim began to give his show as well as he was able.
lough Genevieve was nervous. Jim performed with easy skil1
id made a great success until he said: "And now I wilt
Th
And made a great
Present my most astounding trick. 'Twill startle you indeed!
.A lady's watch, a dozen eggs and one silk hat I II need
6l He borrowed Mrs. Bullion's watch and G. Howe Rich's hat.
In which he placed the watch and eggs and mashed the whole mass flat
And while they gasped in wild alarm he stirred it 'round and 'round.
And said: "Now don't be frightened, please. The things arc safeand sound!
7. "Now Mr. Rich, put on your hat. YoaTI find It dry inside!
And G. Howe Rich with smiles obeyed. Then, "Here! what's this? he erred.
For from it flowed a sticky mess and then a broken watch.
And everyone was staggered, for 'twas plain there'd been a botch.
8. Jim tried to calm his victims' wrath." No use! They left in rage.
The other guests avoided him like something in a cage.
He left the room, he sneaked upstairs, his bedroom door be shot.
"1 guess,- thought he, "my sphere in fife is just to be a Mutt!"
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J ..v.