1
TIFE SUXDAT OREGOXIAX, PORTLAND, MAT 12, 191&.
' is3ter ft!wJSte. 1 1 IT 17 1 vfWr I'll , , i 'V:-sl-
p ifc?DU'' ,0 urbanization vW7. gsEl"
' T' ' III f
WITH the Mexican cauldron boil
In if. with frequent Indication
that a bla- military fore may
one day be needed to uphold the dig
nity and thla arreat. wealthy world
power. Interest has been awakened
Ciaerally as to Just how the United
States Is fixed for soldiers. It Is
known that the Navy I a capable one
and bis enough for present needs and
possible emergencies, but how about
the Army?
The fact Is that the United States
hasn't any Army. In the accepted tech
nical sens of that term aa under
stood amona other powers. For an
Army means a force that fa oraanlsed.
trained, tqutpped. prepared and ready
for operations as a great fighting unit
or series of units. And the best Uncle
Sam can boast of is a small force of
armed and uniformed men who are
organised Into capable companies, di
visions, corps and armies.
So despite the fact that the Govern
ment Is spending $100,000,000 a year
for an Army It hasn't any. This as
sertion Is made by no less a person
than the biggest General In the
aerrlce, Major-General Leonard Wood,
chief of staff. Here are hla own words
aa given out lately In a signed Inter
view: "It Is the natural popular belief that
we have an Army a mobile Army,
properly trained and organised, and.
though small, always available for
use. Aa a matter of practical fact we
have no such Army." x
Official statistic on th subject
how that the United States Army I
made up of 77.C02 men of all arms.
This Is rather a formidable force. But
should Uncle Sam have to depend on
the Regular Army, the largest force
be could mass on the Texas frontier
or at any other point would be less
than SO.O00 men. And to do thla he
would need call on the Coast Artillery,
converting It Into Infantry for the time
being.
Here are some significant facts and
figures, fresh from the Army list and
Even for Restoring Order in Chaotic Mexico,
Should Need Arise, the United States Would
Have to Call for Militia and Volunteers War
Department and General Wood Note Shortcom
ings o. Our Military Establishment Shortage
of Ammunition, Field Rifle and Equipment.
directory for 191!
Department:
Men
Total authortMd strength of Army. .7T.SOJ
On duty In Philippines, about 12.000
ctn rtutv In Hawaiian Islands and
Alaska 8.000
On duty recruiting parties, depots, etc. i.uuu
On duty aervlc schools and prison
guards 903
On duty pay department and -other
non-combatant branches
Required for garrison details, .not
fewer than .000
Muster Rolls Show- Short sure.
The special duty figures show a to
tal of 26,000. Subtract that from the
total authorized strength and the prod
uct la 43.000. But the - authorized
strength and the actual strength are
two different matters, so Inspection re
turns show. For Instance, the peace
atrength of a company la- 85 men. But
the Inspection returns show that In
scores of the companies In. the Reg
ular Army from 5 to SO men only are
on hand. -General Wood recently has
called attention to this startling fact.
It is estimated that the actual force
Is about 60 per cent of the authorized
force, which leaves approximately 28,-'
issuea Dy mi war uuu men ior immediate use, and a srood
, 10.000 of these would have to be taken
irom uoaat Artillery garrisons.
.fc.ven for & Mexican campaign the
Government would have to depend on
militia and volunteers. It would take
at least 100. pOO men and possibly 200,
ooo for that bit of police work, and
the bulk of such force would have to
come from civilian ranks, so the Army
War College has announced.
The organized militia has some 120,
000 officers and men. As the law now
stands these troops would have to be
ewornOnto the service of the United
States as volunteers before they could
be utilized. There Is a bill now before
Congress and an effort Is on hand to
push it through, making the militia
or National Guard susceptible for Army
service at home or abroad.
The militia, of course. Is not set
down as being uniformly efficient, al
though In point of equipment and or
ganization Regular Army standards are
followed. With a month or two of pre
liminary training It could be gotten
Into shape for such service as a cam
paign in Mexico or even for reasonably
effective operations against trained
soldiers. But the organization in i
larger units is marred by the same
weaknesses as mar the Regular Army.
In short, in the whole United States
military establishment there has been
no provision for co-ordination for the
concentration and operation of a large
fighting machine Buch as a division
or even a brigade.
Men are plentiful. It is recorded
that the United States could get 10.-
000,000 men if needed. But the Govern
ment couldn't begin to arm and equip
a tenth of that force. In fact with
all the new modern Springfield rifles
now on hand and In process of m ak
in sr. the total reaches but little over
600,000. And the reserve of ammuni
tion falls short of 200.000.000 rounds,
which is not sufflclnet to last an army
of 600.000 men through a single tense
campaign. For Instance, General Ku
ropatkin shows In volume 2, page 149
150 of his book on the Japanese War
that a single Infantryman In a day's
battle will use 350 rounds If the fight
ing Is brisk. So at that rate our to
tal National ammunition supply would
last an army of 600,000 less than a
day and a half.
Then there is a shortage of field
artillery. The Government has. In fact.
Just half enough of the three-Inch field
rifles to go around. Should the Reg
ulars and Militia be reorulted up to
war strength, bringing a total of 212,
520 Infantry, the War Department
could provide them with an artillery
force of some 450 guns, whereas double
that number would be needed If we
were to have artillery on a scale to
compare with any of the modern
armies of the world.
Cavalry Is about the only thing we
have enough of, there being 15 regi
ments. Congress recently undertook to
cut down the cavalry very materially
but failed by a narrow margin. Cav
alry Is used mainly for reconnolssance.
Cavalry charges, mounted, are a thing
of the past, and In modern warfare It
Is the mission of the fleet horsemen
to work far ahead of the main col
umns and keep in touch with the en
emy. Infantry Is Insufficient.
In & current booklet being sent out
by the War Department to all appli
cants for information about the United
States Army, the following statement
is made with relation to the personnel
of the Army: "Inferior as is the con
dition of our military forces in respect
to material, the personal conditions
are worse.
"The backbone of the Army is the
Infantry. The brunt of the fighting
falls on the Infantry. At present we
have only 30 regiments of this Im
portant arm. The War Department has
planned a Joint force of Regulars and
Militia for National defense. Orders
have already been Issued for the form
ation of the first field Army; but as
a matter of fact this Is a field Army
In name only, so deficient is Its organ
ization and equipment today.
Another paragraph In the same book
let, with reference to the calling out
of troops when war suddenly arises,
says: "Perhaps the worst feature of
all Is the absence of a law which would
work automatically at the outbreak of
a war and permit the Government to
call out, organize and equip what
troops are deemed necessary, without
recourse to further hasty legislation
enacted at the last moment."
It is pointed out by military experts
and students the country over that
warfare has been reduced to an ex
act science, and the art of -killing has
been highly developed in these ad
vanced days of peace-loving civiliza
tion. They also declare that the day
has accordingly passed when the farm
er can leave the plow, take down his
trusty flintlock and rally to the colors.
That we have developed Into a great
world power without a general growth
of the public mind to meet our new
level is the contention also made.
Ask the first Army officer you hap
pen to know and he doubtless will tell
you frankly that we .would make a
sad showing for the first year or two
In a war against any first-class land
fighting force.
As to the sending into the field of
hastily organized volunteers and Im
properly trained militia, as well aa
poorly organized regular forces, the
official booklet already quoted notes
the saying of a famous soldier: "A
government is the murderer of Its
citizens which sends them to the field
uninformed and untaught. Where they
are to meet men of the same age and
strength, mechanized by education and
discipline for battle."
lii Tie Riif yfci
simCrS
Terse Tales From Humorous Pens
THE MATCH-HAKIXO KAISER.
The Kaiser la continually prominent
before the world aa a sportsman, aaya
the National Magazine Riding, shoot,
lng and yachting are hla chief pastimes,
though he Is good at tennis, which be
generally plays at tne nut courts at
WUhelmshohe. near CasseL The of
ficers of the garrison are Invited to th
games, and the Empress poura out the
coffee and often buttara the Knup
pela." Once a young Lieutenant, who
waa riot hungry, politely declined th
roll offered by the Kalaerin. quite In
Ignorance of the fact that to do so waa
a serious breach of etiquette. The
Kaiser waa close to him. and. noticing
the younsrster'a mistake quietly ob
served: "My dear fellow, when the Era.
presa offers you a roll buttered by her
own hands you will doubtless not want
to eat It. but yon can surely have It
framed." I
On one occasion while on a military
round the Emperor came across av titi
vate with a very melancholy visage, and
he asked the reason of the troubled
race.
"It s like thla. sir." said the soldier
I va fallen In love with a Sergeant's
daughter, and she loves me all right.
but tne lamer won t let her marry any
one or lower rank than bla.
"Oh. that It." laughed the Kaiser.
"Well, trot off and tell him the Em
peror has made you a Sergeant.'
AX ACCOXXODATIXO COITXT.
Colonel Alexander R Bacon, president
cf the Men'a Equal Suffage League, of
Brooklyn, said the other day to the New
Tork Sun:
"Yes. It's true that you won't find
many American peeresses enrolled un
der the suffrage banner. The girl who
lets a foreigner marry her money la,
any way. a rather poor specimen.
"There's a New Tork man whose
- us; titer, during a Winter ln Nice, got
"aged to a certain Count Beau de
Heatnaont. The New Tork man i
rich at that time. but. a few weeka be
fore the ate set for the wedding, he
went to smash.
" 'My dear Count Fean de Beaumont.1
be groaned that night- "I'm very sorry
ior you. ion are to marry my daugh
ter you were to have 135,000 a year
but the crash has come. I'm ruined
now. How sorry I am. Count!"
"But Count Beau d Beaumont gave
the New Tork man a reassuring slap on
the back.
" "Oh. don't yoo worry about me. air.'
he said with an easy laugh. 'With a
title like mine, you know, I can find
another heiress tomorrow."
Of what not. become assimilated Into
the National Ufa.
"An Instance of this assimilation oc
curs to me." ha said. "I know a worthy
Neapolitan, one Paoli Cencl. who came
to thla country three years ago. Paoll's
little son. Francesco, an American cltl
en of 7. looked up from hla school
books the other evening to ask:
""Say, pa, what year waa It you
Italians discovered us in 7 "
Ft'LLY ASSIMILATED.
Ray S. Baker, the author. In an argu
ment on Immigration at Lawrence, ac
cording to the New Tork Tribune, cited
the marvelous speed wherewith the Im
migrant family, be It German or French
SOME OCIALISTS.
Thomas F. Ryan and a Socialist once
engaged In a war of wits In New Tork
over t!'lr luncheon. Mr. Ryan got the
bettor of It.
The worsted Socialist lost his temper
a Uttla at th end. and. aa he rose to
go. he sneered: "Thar told me In Ire
land once that all the Ryans were
rogues. ft
"It may be." aald Mr. Rran. smil
ingly, "that all the Rri.nl are rogues.
but It Is equally true that all rogues
are not Ryana
dlanapolls, "sold the tavernkeeper ten
dozen eggs one day. There was Just
one ;g left over, and the tavernkeeper
asked Husk to throw It In. The old
man finally consented to throw In the
egg left over, and the tavernkeeper
would stand him a drink. This waa
agreed to, and then the tavernkeeper,
said:
" 'Now, old man, nominate your
liquor.'
" 'Sherry and egg.' said old Cornelius,
with a twinkle In hla ye."
OJfLT HALF GUILTY.
Senator Williams, in an addreaa in
Tazoo. said of a movement he op
posed: "These men try to apologize for their
course, but their apology reminds me of
that of the Yazoo office boy.
"A business man. looking up from an
Important letter ha was drafting, said
to this boy testily:
" "Don't whistle at your work, Cal
houn.' "I ain't workln', sir. Calhoun
answered. Tm only Just whlstlln'.' "
Quips and Flings
THE CROWD K5EW CXMMIXS.
Senator Brown, of Nebraska, ad
dressed an Iowa multitude at a political
meeting last Summer and Jabbed a little
cuiei comedy at Senator Cummins.
"I hope youH pardon me." he said to
tne crowd, "if I talk longer than you
mink I ought to. it Isn't often I get
chance to talk. At home I have
wife and two daughters, and In the
Senate well, you know there's a cer
tain Senator there from the State of
lovt, and "
The crowd caught It right off the
oat ana yeuea.
KIplJs a WUsri.
Rod yard Kipling, aara the Now York
Evening Post, married an American
woman. Miss Balestler, whose family
naa an estate near tsrattleboro. vt. A
neighbor there, with friendly curiosity
was assessing the value of tha matcn
irom the point of view of Miss Bales-
tiers family.
"She did marry well." observed thla
mend. "Or so I m told." she added,
cautiously, "but Im distrustful. They
say ce can make sio.ooo out of a 10
cent bottle of Ink."
ALMOST EXOCGH.
A woman cam Into a photographer'
atudlo In San Frandaoo the other day.
Bays tha Argonaut, and aald to tha proprietor:
"Do yoo take children' photosT"
Tn, certainly, madam."
"How much do you charge"
"Five dollars a dozen."
"Well, said the woman sorrowfully.
"I shall have to see you again. I've
only got 11."
CETTIXO IT BACTC;
"Old Com Husk." as the boy used
to call him. aald Mayor Shank, of in-
XO DANGER.
One night at a theater some scenery
iook rire and a very percepttle odor o
Burning alarmed the spectators.
panic seemed to be Imminent, when an
actor appeared on the stage. "Ladles
and gentlemen," he said, "compose
yourselves. There Is no danger." The
audience did not seem reassured.
Ladles and gentlemen," continued
the comedian, rising to the necessities
of the occasion, "confound It all do
you think If there were any danger I'd
be herer Kansas City Star.
FOUND A TEXT TO KIT.
A Sunday aechool teacher, cay Judge,
after a talk to her email boys on the
cruelty of cutting dogs' ears and tails.
asked:
"What doe the Bible lay about It?
no can ten mer"
"I can," aald a amall boy. holding un
ma nana.
"Well, what Is It. John?"
"What God hath Joined together, let
no man put asunder."
NOT HIS PROPER PLAT.
Tay the taxes on your house and
lot yetT"
"Tea. and there' a mistake of sev
eral dollar In the amount."
"Why don't you make -a kick about
itr-
"Klck! Huhl The mistake la In my
favor."
'How do you know there' mis
take. T" .
'Beoause this Is the first time In six
yeara that the tax hasn't been in
creased." Chicago Tribune.
OVERLOOKING NO BETS.
"Larry, it took you a thundering
long time to vote."
Ves. sir: I don't know the candi
dates very well, but I wanted to give
11 of 'em a fair show, an' I marked
cross fr every man on the ballot.
b' JargeT Chicago Tribune.
"How effusively sweet that Miss
Blondy is to you, Jonesy," said Wether
UL "What's upT Any tender little-romance
there?"
"She knows I know how old she Is
we were both born on the same day,"
said Jonesy, "and she's afraid I'll tell
somebody." Harper' Weekly.
"Pa, what's a playwright?"
"A man who writes stuff to go with
the scenery, my son." Judge.
"Father, Alfred has something to say
to you tonight.
"Well, and what have you and your
mother decided I must tell him? De
troit Free Press.
"I hear you have left Stingo & Co.'.
I "Yea. I'm In business for myself
now."
"What are you doing?"
"Looking for another Job." Path
finder.
French Teacher Now, Tommy, what
Is money in French?
"Argent."
"Good: and what gender la It?"
"Feminine; money talks." Satire.
Alice So Miss Fortlelgh has become
a suffragette. Whatever Induced her
to espouse the cause?
Kate She probably thought at her
age a woman ought to espouse some
thing. London Opinion.
"He hasn't a friend In the world."
"That's tough. Whom does he blame
It on when he stays out late at nlsrht?"
Detroit Free Press.
Magnate (given to advice) My boy.
it is the little things that tell.
Young Business Man (savagely) !
know It. She's got a little brother.
Judge.
e e
Gink He's a very fortunate physi
cian, tsn t he?
Dink Oh, my, yes. Few of his pa
tients die suddenly. Philadelphia Reo-
ord.
see
"The children need something new
every week. You have no children.
hence you csm't understand."
I understand, old chap. I have an
automobile." Lotlsville Courier-Jour-
Winter and cool off in tha Summer."
Buffalo Express.
goat
That millionaire Is a very queer
chap."
As to how?"
'Never claims he was happier when
he was poor. Always says he la hap
pier now." Washington Herald.
m
Why do you say he has a rood Job?
He's only a stationary fireman."
T. know. But he a a fireman In an
lea plant. He can keep warm In the
"Will you take a ticket for
that I'm rafflin', sorr?"
"But. Michael, I have no use for a
goat."'
"That's so, sorr; but yes probably
wouldn't win it." Boston Transcript.
Aristocratic Lady I'd like to know,
Bridget, what has become of all the
roast beef and cake that was left over
from yesterday.
Bridget Sure, mam, didn't yer nlver
have a perlaceman callin' on yes when
you were my age? Tlt-Blts.
Office Boy Sir. I regret to Inform
you that I have to attend the obsequies
of my maternal grandparent.
Employer Percy, you cannot deceive
me. You are employing that subterfuge
In order to attend the opening1 of the
water-color exhibition. --Judge.
Belle Poor fellow, they've caught
him at last.
Delle Hasn't he a chance to escape?"
Belle None whatever. Maude haa put
a smaller hammock In the conservatory.
Philadelphia Record.
"This Is a world of change."
"Yes, and by the way, have you got
any with you?" Boston Transcript.
-
"Are you a standpatter, a tariff re
former, a progressive, a Socialist or an
insurgent. Bugsbee?"
That's what I am, by Jumpers, and
you can tell em I said sol" Brown-
in g'e Magazine.
The plumber had married the bar
ber's daughter.
No tips when you shave me here
after, remember," he said.
All right," quoth the barber, "and no
charging It in the bill when yon walk
between my house and the shop any
more.
On this basis they all lived happily
ever after. Chicago Tribune.
Motormanlac What do you think Is
the most difficult thing for a beginner
to learn about an automobile?
Frankenstein To keep from talking
about It all the time. Toledo Blade.
Among the Poets of tke Daily Press
"Is your chauffeur an expert?"
"Yes, Indeed," replied Mr. Chugglns.
"He can explain in a most Interesting
way exactly why the car tsn t running
most of the time. Washington Star.
BUST.
I'd like to discuss that grave problem
with you.
And tell you exactly the right thing
to do;
I'd like to be pleasant and hark to your
woe.
And give up an hour of my time, but
please go;
I'M BUST today.
Just as rushed aa can be,
I've got to be out at the ball park at
three.
I'm sorry, my fjriends, bnt I wish you'd
not tarry,
Tve all the Insurance I'm able to
carry;
The gold-bearing policy strikes me as
fine.
But at present insurance is out of my
line,
I'M BUY today.
Now please den't bother me,
I've got to be out at the ball park at
three.
I'm glad you dropped In for a bit of a
chat.
But keep on your rubbers; don't take
off your hat;
Close the door as you leave; I will see
you some day
When Tve more time to listen to all
that you say.
I'M BUSY today,
So you must excuse me.
Tve ot to be out at the ball park at
three.
Never mind your prospectus; you need
n t display
Tha. style of the binding, nor tell how
I pay.
I don't care to see bow the type-mat
ter looks;
Take "no" for an answer; I'm not buy
ing books.
I'M BUSY today.
You don't Interest me.
I've got to be out at the ball park at
three.
Detroit Free Press.
And spend them all for lollipops.
Next time you shall have more."
Oh, yes, I'd show my mother dear
Just how she ought t j be
If I could be her for one day
.And she be little me.
But, somehow, "way down In my heart
I have a feeling queer
That I had better Just stay me
And she stay mother dear.
Carolyn Wells.
Doctor What makes you think the
boy isn't normal?
Mother Everything. He was 18
years old last June, and yet he doesn't
think he knows more than his father.
Philadelphia Record.
What do you think of this idea of
the recall?"
It wouldn't work," replied the
baseball fan. "If you undertook to put
an umpire out every time the crowd
lssed him the game couldn't go on."
Washington Star,
AN EXPERIMENT.
Could I be mother for a day.
And If she could be me.
I'm sure she'd learn a lot o' things '
'Bout which we don't agree.
I'd say, "Now, dearie, won't you have
Another piece of cake?
You've only eaten three so far.
Do, dear, another take."
Then I'd say: "Oh, don't go to bed;
It's very early yet.
Do sit up for an hour or two.
Or longer, won't you, pet?"
My school dress Is a dull, dark brown,
My best one's bright and gay;
So Td say: "Daughter, you may wear
Your best frock every day."
Then I'd say: "Here's some pennies.
dear.
Go to the candy store
THE GAME OF JOY.
Baltimore 'Sun.
It's a good old game, and it's sweet to
play
The game of Joy In the chlldheart way.
It's a fine old sport, with Its hjt or
miss.
And Its blooms to pluck and Its Hps
to kiss.
Its songs to sing and Its dreams to rise
When the soft night swims to the azure
skies.
It's a fine old game as we chase through
life
For a spell of blues In the endless strife.
For it helps the heart and It heals the
care
And it gives us dreams of the sun
and air.
And fills the spirit with zeal for those
Who have toiled too weary to pluck the
rose.
Ah, we can't all play in this game so
fine,
And we can't all drink of Its ruby wine.
But it's sweet to follow Its bubble and
beam,
Howe'er the vision heyond may
gleam.
For Its dust and bloom drift back, some
way.
To the hearts that have never been
free to play.
If
A SONG.
I were rich then would I give to
you
Many a treasure, many a priceless gem,
A golden helmet or a diadem,
A horse to ride, a velvet cloak to wear.
Pictures of splendor, books beyond
compare
If I were rich!
But I am poor and what have I to
give?
Only a smile or two when you are clad.
A little pity when your heart is sad,
A little love, a little tenderness
Nothing but these there could not
well be less.
But I am poor!
Mary Berkeley in Harper's.
OIL FOR HIS LAMP.
At after-dinner speech a star?
No, say a mow, for lo.
The fuller that he gets, why, then.
More brlllant does he grow!
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