fi T?f E SUNDAY OHEGOMAX. rORTLAXD, AritrL 14, 1012.
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He Used to Draw Smiling Landscapes and Laugh
ing Cats, but Russian Patrons Would Not Buy
"Paint Us Something Sad" They Said Protazy
Brooded TPd He Took a Parisian Holiday There
He Met a Man Who Taught Him How to Hang
Himself Artistically and Harmlessly Back to Rus
sia Prctazy Made His Will. Left Directions for
Burial and Sale of His Pictures and Hanged Him
selfPictures Formerly Scorned Sold Like Hot
Cakes Then Protazy Resurrected Himself. Col
lected Cold. Read Obituary Praises and Laughed
at Dupes.
ST. FETERSBL'KG. Mrch IT. iSpe
c!l C'orreTnlenc.) "You ee."
said Grsorjr Frotaijr. with a
chuckle, when aakerl how h managed
to !o II. "sad pople don"t lika gay
cnn. It la nolhlnr but Jcalour. of
course. Men are aelfUh. especially aad
men. and most Ruaelara ara sad now
aday. Therefore they deteat men
Ilka me. for I m alar cheery and
good-humored.'
Thla waa aatd when Gregory Trotaiy.
of thla city, had won hla fame. H la
an artlat. and his picture are good.
Thov would please American, but
7
I PL i USJJ
BT GORDOV H. CILI.ET.
IT was the murk from a far-off Jun
gle fire that hong, a ha'.f-choklng
haze, between land and iky. but. the
un pierced through from the brazen
heaven overhead aad beat down with
relectlesa raya till heat-waves danced
from the parched and dusty earth. To
trie wounded man out In front It
brought, first, indescribable agony that
was told of In moans. Then the dry
and weiling throat choked back even
tf.e expression of pain. Now. perhaps,
a merciful God had given him uncon
sciousness perhaps be waa dead.
The three pi'n in the drled-out wa
ter bole bad few wcrds for each other.
There was nothing to say until om
one r them toutd evolve a plan for
safety. And what plan could there be?
Less than 1C yards out In front wa
the bamboo clump and within It wa
a Filipino eharpahooter and a wary
one. Over and over had ea-h of the
three held aloft hla service hat on the
point of hi cleaning rod. but the only
fire It drew was a chuckling, mocking
laugh. It would not work. The little
brown disciple of Aguinaldo held cart
ridges precious. It bad aounded like
an old Springfield when be shot the
Corporal probably that waa what It
was. If to. then he had but one cart
ridge In bis gun. He could be shot
or there might be time to ecape be
fore be could reload after that waa
flrsd. Bur that one cartridge was one
death. Who's should it be?
Something must be done. Humanity,
comradeship, the honor of Old Glqry,
demanded that the man who lay so
riirlously bent on the ground out In
front should be given succor If the
spirit of life remained. And thn there
waa the main body behind, the weary
two companies that within an hour
would be going into ramp, confident of
the picket and unsusperting an enemy
within io miles. Yet, If the presence
rf this harpshooter. sniping plrkets.
meant anything at all. It meant that a
nirht surprise was pending. Action
was imperative.
There ml but on solution, and a
each of the three eliminated all other
posible chances, that one remained in
his mind. And each of the three knew
triat the other knew. So. when Adam
passed around hi canteen with an In
dication that they should drink each
a third of the little water that re
mained, they knew he waa about to
propose the one plan possible. He
waited until the canteen lay empty by
M side, and then he whispered:
"It got to be one of us. It's prob
jhlr a sure- thing, for be won't mis
at'that ranire. But the man that dors
It can get up ehootin. and maybe it'll
Marti him. And the other two can
Jump up and shoot the minute hi gun
cra. ks. Fhall we drew straw?"
Th-re was no reply. The others
looked at eaoh other searchlnely. Then
they looked down agln. Adams went
on. Ms voice hard: "If either nf you
fellow Las got a wife aaJ kid t-'k
irtusstans, who demand somrthlnjr aad
for their money, fought ahy of them.
Protasy has now educated tha picture-buying-
public up to hla tastes,
lie did it o well and so wittily that
deserving but neglected foreign ar
tists might try his plan.
The fault found with his pictures
waa their cheerfulness, which reflected
the brlaht aoul of their creator. All
hla portraits laugh, and the cats and
doga he draws seem filled with the
Joy of life. Aa to his landscapes, they
are alwaya smiling, eren after a storm.
But those .who liked thl gay look of
home, that make It different" Again
h stopped and waited. Then Welch
poke: ,
"Jim Carney here got a girl back
in Boston. n promised to wait for
him."
"ttnw your gb." ald Carney, rough
ly. "Tm here to take my chance."
"That- whit talk." ald Adams, with
Just a ting of admiration. ''I've got
a girl back there, too. But that ain't
Ilk belr married, with kids. When
it's a girl back home It' different."
"How're w going to chooser asked
Carney. Impatiently.
Adam reached up to the edge of the
water hole and carefully detached a
long, dry blade of file grass. This he
began to break Into pleeea of different
lengths. A droning fly buzzed before
bl face and be slapped at it Impatlent
Iv. He watched It aa it rose, slowly
circling, and then he dropped the
straws. "Let leave it to that cussed
fly." be said. "!' ben fussln" round
her ever since we altd into this hole.
The man It lights on first."
He looked at the others. Carney
nodded hla head. Welch watched the
fly with a gathering frown and made
no reply.
"Where In thunder did It come from?'
asked Adams. "It look like a bouse
fly. like the file back In the States,
and there isn't a house in a day'
march."
"There alway file, everywhere."
muttered Welch. "When the last man
die there'll be a fly buszln' around to
worry bl last minute. They're alway
ahead of the army and always behind
it. They know. There'a a cloud of m
fussln" around the eorpor! out yonder,
but his fellow won't go out there. He's
walttn' for one of us that stay be
hind. He knows. Imn him. damn
him!" the last word coming furiously.
-Lt' U He sjtlll and e who he
pick out." ald Carney. "We can't
waste time."
The men lav on their backs, their
aching eye following every movement
of the fly. For the moment, it rested
COMPRESSED AIR TO
A METHOD for keeping water from
entering trhips through holes by
compressed air was tested on board the
North Carolina, lying off West One
Hundred and Forty-eighth tret In
the North River recently. Captain C
C. Marsh, commander of the eruler
North Carolina, conducted the experi
ment In person. Afterward he spoke
enthusiastically of the method. He
says it will prevent vessels from going
to the bottom following collisions or
when hit by torpedoes or mines. He
think it will revolutionize marine
warfare.
The method doe not depend on any
device or mechanical Invention. It is
merely an adaptation to the compart
mentit of ships of the science of air
pressure as already applied to tunnel
life were too poor to buy his pictures:
those whose pocket wVe crammed
with gold thought It an Insult to art
to hang smiles on their walls. So
Protazy paintings could not be sold.
When ha asked the committee of the
local Academy of Arts to let him ex
hibit canvaases on their walls, he met
with a stern ref usaL "The smile I
not art," they paid. "Learn to paint
sad things and we will talk to you."
Ha did not starve, because ha had a
small Income from a cheerful grand
mother, who Is thought a crank la the
ever Moscow set she lives In. But
Protasy longed for fame, and fell so
low as to cultivate a famoua Peters
burglan critic, ask him to lunch, din
ner and supper, moke him drunk and
estol the Joy of life. But even the
critic, after regaining home and sobri
ety, vowed he would never praise pic
tures of laughing cat and smiling
landscapes.
One day. after a dreary night spent
on the trail of fame. Protasy sprang
out of bed. packed his bag and took
train to Paris. He knew the place well,
having studied art In the Latin Quar
ter before It was a haunt of .rich Amer
ican travelers. He kept clear of mu
seums and galleries, but spent all his
time in the tents and booths of sub
urban 'fairs, where the multitude see
nature's freaks for a fiw sous, with
real French fun thrown in. He laughed
himself sore over the mounteoanK s
1okes. the dwarfs, bearded girls
fat
women, two-headed cows and
Joy. Then he fell in with the.
mho Influenced his whole life
such
man
and
showed him the path to fame.
In a freak show ho saw a live mn
hanging from a rop fixed into the
celling, hla feet dangling several yarus
from the floor. Protasy watched
V
on a swinging blade of grass, its hend
straight up to the sun and lta foreleg
contemplatively rubbing thelp-tip to
gether. Then it put down the foreleg
and carefully wiped -off the tip of It
wing with the last pair of legs. It
toilet completed, it crawled lowly to
the end of the blade of grass, turned
around twice like a dog making its bed,
and then rose buzzing and circling in
the air. The soldier Welch sat up.
pulled his haversark forward from his
hip. rummaged in it with his hand, ap
parently found what he was seeking,
and. lying down again, put his hand to
his mouth. The other wtched him
with usplclou Interest. "Well, you
re a queer one." said Adam, "eating
at a time like this."
Welch said nothing, and the three
resumed their vigilance of the fly. It
rose, a black speck In the air, darted
In parabolic curves back and forth,
then slowly began a spiral downward.
The test was at hand. The men lay
alongside with practically facing dis
tance between them. Welch was In the
center. The fly descended deliberately,
swung back and forth and seemed to
still Its flight Just over the face of
Carney. In tho breathless silence tho
faint chord of Its winds was distlnctly
audible. Incontrollably, the soldiers
face twitched. Tho fly darted away.
The others looked on without comment
while a flush spread over the man's
neck and up to hla ears.
Then the insect returned and leisure
ly hummed back, and forth and then in
a swinging circle above the hand that
Adams had stretched out upon the
ground. It settled within an inch and
the man flinched. The fly mounted
upward again.
Again it came back. Flies have no
long flight, and already it was weary.
Thi time It would seek a resting place.
Ita tired wings grew slower in their
vibration and the noise of their buzz
ing deeper and-snore distinct. It circled
twice about the dusty shoes of Adams,
and this time he did not move. He
looked on with his features drawn In
building. The young engineer to whom
the method first occurred and who
helped Captain Marsh apply it to tho
North Carolina Is W. W. Wotherspoon.
one of the engineers of the ubway, as
well a of the East River and the
Pennsylvania tubes.
The method consists of selling up
the compartment in the vessel where
the hole Is. Compressed air is then
forced Into It througn a tube, which
ha alreedv been installed and con
nected with the air compressors of the
vessel, such as on a battleship are used
to expel explosive gases from guns
after tiring.
According to Mr. Wotherspoon, It
takes only from three to twenty pounds
pressure a square Inch to force out
all the water in the compartment to
the level of the hole.
The trouble with putting twenty
pounds a -square inch presiure lntu s
mm
tOIUlUU
for hours and hours. . He hung there
all the time for the amusement of
siphtseors. his eyes and tongue stick
ing out, his arms and legs still and
motionless. At midnight his friends
put a ladder handy, when he slowly
got down, walked about, ate his sup
per and cracked Jokes wlfh all comer.
Our artist was enthralled. Never had
he seen anything so inspiring.
Learas to Hang Self.
What pleased him best of all wa the
smile on the hanged man's face. In
spite of all the realistic symptoms.
Though lie "watched the man' trick
over and over again, he could not find
out the secret. After much reflection
and some thrills at his own enterprise,
ho caught the man on the quiet and
persuaded him to part with hi secret
in return for a few hundred francs.
It took much eloquence and several
good suppers to do It. The man, who
was called Jacques, swore nobody in
Paris could hang like that. But Pro
tazy said he only wanted the trick for
use in Russia, and lessons soon began.
At first he was a bit nervous at prac
tising this act of deep despair, but he
soon got over that, and before a week
waa over hanged himself with perfect
composure several times a day. He
took to it as a sport. When he felt
dull, he would sro up to his room In
the boarding-house and string up.
Finding he was as good at it as Jaequs
himself, he took a fond farewell of
his teacher and set off for home.
No sooner was he back than he began
his deep-laid plans for acquiring fame.
As the days went on and he saw them
near completion he grew so uproari
ously cheerful that friend thought he
had come into a fortune. He worked
hard.
First of all, he made his will, in
which he declared that, since nobody
cared to look at hla works, he no
agonv and his teeth sinking into his
lip. Then the fly rose three or four feet
in the air. circled slowly and descended
like a bullet upon the face of Welch.
KEEP CRIPPLED SHIPS AFLOAT
ship's compartment is that it will
cause the deck above or sides of thy
compartment to buckle, and that Is
where - Mr. Wotherspoon' method
comes In. In order to keep the deeka.
and -bulkhead around the damaged
compartment from buckling, a lower
pressure 1 used In the adjoining com
partments. This, it is said, keeps the
deck above and the bulkhead between
compartments in place.
If the water-tight compartments of
vessels were always really airtight the
discovery and use of the new method,
according to Captain Marsh, would not
be so Important, but water-tight com
partments never are really water-tight.
No matter how tightly a compartment
is locked up on a vessel. practical
experience always shows, according to
Captain Marsh, that the water finds
Its way Into other compartments. Just
as it did in the case of the ill-fated
tfTTMXIY"
AKIET
Ijiclde - end
ictures are
oulcky
oo66ed up.
longer cared to look at the world, and
was about to hang himself. As he had
no near relations in Petersburg, ho
asked that the authorities would bury
him in the garden of a certain villa
outside the city, belonging to the Acad
emy man who told him to learn to paint
sad pictures. He made a codicil, in
which he Informed the owner of the
villa, whose name, by the way, is Ivan
Popovitch, that should he refuse his
garden as a last resting place his ghost
would haunt him for the rest of his
life. As Fopovltch Is known for his
Interest in psychical research, it was
a shrewd Idea, for Ivan feared the
thought of a real ghost with a holy
horror.
Then he asked that his pictures
should be sold by public auction, and
the money they fetched be handed over
to a relatTve of ths same name, who
would probably apply for It to the
Academy within a certain time as
soon as he had heard of his distant
kinsman's death. He further asked to
be burled In a wooden coffin, in the
clothes in which he would be found
dead a dark gray suit bought in Paris.
Having done this, he called In a He
brew hawker, sold off all his clothe
but the gray ones he wore, aewed Into
them a gimlet, tweezers, money and a
eoft. Jockey cap. This done, he sol
emnly hanged himself as Jacques bad
taught him.
An hour passed, and then the scrub
woman who did his rooms entered the
studio, saw the ghastly thing, and rent
the air with shrieks. Neighbors came
In and as nobody Is ever in a hurry in
Russia, several groups were gathered
under him before it struck anybody
that he might be cut down. But this
needed the police, and when you send
for the police in Russia you axe in for
a longwalt. Even when they came
and saw that he had been hanging
there there for hours, they sent for a
le Stay Of a Peal Hero.
It alighted on his chin and crawled to
ward his mouth.
For a long minute the other men
looked on in silence. The fly stopped
"If the Captain of the Republic bad
understood the method we have tried
todav and If the different compart
ments of his ship had been equipped
with the simple system of pipes, aix
gauges and air compressors we have
used, the vessel would never have
sunk." said Captain Marsh.
Assisted by Mr. Wotherspon. Captain
Marsh tried the experiment on. a for
ward compartment on the North Caro
lina under the protection deck. When
the seacocks were opened and the
water was allowed to rush in and fill
the compartment, the vessel listed to
starboard a trifle. Compressed air waa
then forced into the tank. In about ten
minutes after the air pump was started
there was no water In the tank.
Simultaneously with the exertion of
the 12-pound pressure In the supposed
ly damaged compartment a seven-pound
pressure was pumped Into all the sur
rounding cpmpartments, thus keeping
doctor. He was in a hurry, cut down
the eorpe which gave Protazy a lot
of bruises saw he was a poor devil of
a painter, felt his stiff Iprs. examined
his lollins tongue, said "He is as dead
as a door nail. Call for my certificate
In a couple of hours," and hurried off.
Plays III Grim Jest.
Tou see. our friend knew his fellow
countrymen very well and had laid
plans accordingly. The commissary of
police, having read the. will, began to
carry It out to the letter. He saw Popo
vitch, who, furious and yet trembling,
consented to the grave being dus m
his back garden. Meanwhile, Protazy
was as hungry as he could be; but he
had to wait till night and solitude be
fore he could creep out of his open cof
fin and enjoy the remains of a Joint,
left in the dining-room cupboard. At
6 in the morning the police came and
lightly nailed down his coffin. On the
way to the villa he managed to bore
a few holes for air; but It was very
Stuffy and uncomfortable, and he need
ed ail his strength of will not to cry
out for more air. This was nothing to
the awful feeling he had when two
hired men threw a few spadesful of
sandy earth over his coffin. He almost
gave way, but just managed to control
himself till he heard the sound of re
treating footsteps. Then, with a huge
effort, having turned round in the cof
fin, he brought the whole strength of
his back to bear on tho lid and saw
the light of day after a few desperate
struggles. He put the coffin-lid back
in its place and laboriously covered It
i again, which took him some time.
The number of wreaths amused him,
for he never thought he would be so
mourned. Tire Academy sent the finest,
with a most touching message. Pro
tazy says he laughed aloud when he
read it. . , t.
Later, under cover 01 nigm, ub
at the man's lip and began to feed.
Carney uddenly swept bis hand above
It and the Insect darted off. Both Car
ney and Adams rose to sitting postures
and looked inquiringly at their pros
trate combrade. Another minute passed,
and a glance shot between them. Car
ney shifted uneasily and whispered:
"Well, Welch, old man?"
Still the man did not move. His eyes
were closed and a sort of smile hov
ered about his lips. Adams seized his
arm and shook him. The arm dropped
limply back into place.
"Well, by God!" exclaimed Carney,
and then, placing a finger on the man's
eyelid, he roughly pushed It back. Only
the white of the eye showed.
"Well, by God!" he muttered again,
and reached for Welch's wrist. He held
it for a little time between his thumb
and forefinger, while Adams looked on
with a puzzled stare. Carney dropped
the wrist and bent his ear to the man's
nostrils. Then he drew back, settled
himself in his sitting posture and
turned to Adams, from whom a ques
tion burst:
"Fainted?"
Carney shook his head. "Dead
scared to death well, by God!"
For full five minutes the men were
silent. Then Adams spoke dully: "He
took his chance with us. and it fell to
him. He faded out without makin"
good. But we can make him do it. We
can hold him up and let him get shot.
Then we can get that sneaking little
devil that shot the Corporal."
Carney sat up. "Right you are; I
was a fool not to think of It. but it
knocked me aJl in a heap to think of
Welch turning yellow. It's Just what
he's good for now. I will hold him
up and you can be ready for the little
devil."
He seized the body and, hugging it
about the hips, strove to raise it so
that the head would show above the
water hole. But it was still limp;
it would not hold erect. With a mut
tered oath. Carney seized the dead
the decks and bulkheads safe. A three
pound pressure similarly was exerted
in the compartment next to those, in
which the seven-pound pressure was
used.
"This new method will revolutionize
the business of ship saving," said Cap
tain Marsh. "When I applied to the
Navy Department recently to be al
lowed to try out the method I asked
them to send me some pipes and air
gauges, so that I could connect every
compartment on my vessel with the air
compressing plant.
"When I was trying the experiment
the attention of the man at the air
gauge wandered for a mintite and a
few too many pounds pressure got into
one of the compartments. The result
was that the deck above began buck
ling and would have burst had the
sailor not noticed what was happening
and given the signal tu turn the or ess
are off
V" -1
(f
to a distant barber's shop where 6
was unknown, and had bis beard
trimmed off. His long locks were shorn
and he felt nobody would know him.
Then he bought a new set of clothes.
The escapade amused him more than
anything he had ever done in his life.
The notices in the papers amazed his
modest soul. All agreed that Protazy
had deprived Hussla of the greatest
artist of the age. Passing by the Acad
emv. he saw that his priceless rictures
would be sold by auction, and nearly
died of suppressed humor at tho de
scription of the sale. The prices paid
exceeded even his wildest dreams; he
knew he was a rich man at last.
The sale over, he went into the coun
try and remained there for several
weeks, till his beard and hair had
grown to their old length. His clothes
were now as shabby as of yore. Still
suffering from suppressed humor, he
walked to the station and took train
for Petersburg. ThV impression he
made in his old haunts exceeded all
expectations. Friends to whom ho took
oft his hat fainted or turned green with
emotion. When he got to the Academy
tho porter left his post with undue
haste and the men in the office escaped
through the windows. He had some
trouble in getting people to listen to
his tale. But they found he had been
so smart that even those who had paid
big prices for his pictures forgave him.
He had more trouble with the police,
but he is a rich man now, and well,
you understand.
But today he only paint sad things.
I asked him why. "You see," he an
swered, with that twinkle of his. "the
men who gave such large sums for my
pictures said that they were never like
ly to have anything of the sort from my
brush now. I feel bound to see that
they don't. That is all."
man's rifle and Jammed it down the
back of the dead man's blouse. The
device served, and, holding by the hips,
and keeping his own head well bent
down, he hoisted the corpse erect and
upward. There was a moment of
agonizing suspense, and then rang out
the booming roar of a Springfield. Tho
sound was hardly complete before
Adams leaped up and began pumping
his Krag at a patch of powder smoke
in the bamboo. At the third shot there
was a yell and a crashing of branches.
Adams dropped his rifle and ran to
ward tho Corporal, while Carney sat
weakly down and propped up the body
of his friend. There was a yawning
hole In the dead man's forehead where
the snub-nosed Springfield bullet had
crashed through, and a tiny stream of
blood trickled away from it.
Adams came back, dragging the Cor
poral, and the two soldiers quickly
found not only that his heart was
beating, but that his wound was one
that would heal. His canteen was
found to be half full, and when the
nozzle was placed to his lips he drank
in unconscious greediness.
"'If you'll stay .here by the Corporal,
111 hike back to the column and get
the ambulance," said Adams.
Carney replied with a nod, and, when
the older soldier was gone, he turned
to a closer examination of the body of
Welch. "Hell of a hole that old
Springfield makes,' he muttered. He
untied the handkerchief from about his
neck and started to wipe away the
blood. 'Then he saw something that
made him stay his hand. He looked
close at the dead man's face and then
sprang to. his feet and swore aloud.
For about the Hps of his friend, and
spread all over the lower half of his
face were what do you think? Grains
of commissary brown sugar!
Just before taps that night Carney
stood within the flap of the Major's
tent and saluted.- He averred urgent
business. The Major looked up wear
ily from his writing and listened. Car
ney, with more strength of language
than was usual to the. Major's ears,
begged that a recommendation would
be made for a medal of honor for tbo
dead man. to bo sent to his relatives,
as is customary when a soldier has
died as a hero.
"I thought he had turned yellow,
said the soldier, "and, God forgive me,
I held up bis body and let that little
hellion shoot a hole in his head. And
then I found that he had fixed it all
up. He'd baited himself with sugar out
of his haversack, and that damned fly
lit on him Just as he figured it would.
Physically, sir. It was more than be
could stand, and the heart failure killed
him when he felt the fly on his chin.
But I've heard you say. sir, that the
real heroes are the men who do their
duty and more than their duty when
they are most afraid. You see. sir. h
knew Adams and I had sweethearts at
home, and he didn't."
"You are right, Carney," said the
Major, musingly, when he had heard
the whole story. "It is the moral he-j
roes that are the greatest of all. Jv
will make the recommendation for th
medal of honor.
icopyrigni vy cnon oiurjr f uu v-v.