Tin; SUNDAY OREGOXIAN, PORTLAND, JANUARY 7, 1912.
CMfcBtTSlNES g WELD;
TOKIES
-
BT V. B. LINTON.
JOHN DAVIS, the local mwager of
the Union Telegraph Company,
walked briskly Into his office, nod
rtxj to his cashier, lighted a cigar, and
plunged Into hla mornlnga mall.
"I nonJw what our new superlnten
. d..nt hit's to say." he thought, as he tore
open an envelope marked "Superlnten
' dents Office." He read:
"Dear Sir. .Referring to your Octo
ber reporta. i note) that your receipts
show a large decrease when compared
with the same month last year. I also
note that your expenses show a very
sllssht decrease. Please explain this
and take ar-once the necessary steps
to reduce the expenses and Increase the
receipts. Yours truly.
"H. U Brown. Superintendent.".
."ffliMe!" he exclaimed. "He Is ap
parently not satisfied with ray management.-
That last report did make a
bad showing."
The Union Telegraph Company ' was
undergoing a reorganisation. A new
president had been chosen at the last
meeting of the board of directors. He
was ambitious. aggressive, and bent on
making a record. He waa selected for
the presidency on his record fop- cut
ting dawn expenses and getting work
out of men. made while he. was general
superintendent of a division In the
West. Soon after his elevation he re
moved a number of men some because
they antagonised his policy,- some be
cause they had fallen Into a rut. and
others on the general principle that it
Is a good thing to Infuse new blood
Into the company.
He held that the wholesale removals
made the men that were retained more
Industrious. Tear waa the prod he used
to urge his subordinates to work.
Mr. Brown was appointed a month
before superintendent of the district In
which John Davis" office was situated.
The old superintendent, who had been
In the service of the company SO years,
was discharged. Mr. Brown had been
one of the new president's lieutenants
In the West.
John Davis reread hit letter. Sum
moning his stenographer, he dictated
this reply:. ....
"Mr. II. L. Brown. Superintendent
Pear Sir: Replying to your favor of the
i r t , in to that the de
crease In recelpta shown by my reports
IS due to a general arpirwu
.ki- -it- f h. secured the
Pf 9S III k 1 1 ' B -.. a
business of a number of new firms and
am holding trie ouainess 01 ""r "
gear's customers, but the manufacturers
and brokers are not doing- aa much
business this year. I will, however, con
tinue my efforts to Increase the busi
ness, "1 do not think It practical to reduce
expenses at this time. The present force
could handle more business, but the
force cannot be reduced without requir
ing the men to work unreasonably long
houra or Impairing the efficiency of
the service. Very truly.
-J H. DAVIS, Manager."
When the letter wae handed to him
for signature he hesitated.
"That first part Is all right," he said
to himself, "hut the last part will grate
on the nerves of the new superinten
dent. If I have correctly elsed up the
man. But. no I won't cut salaries and
I won t reduce the force. Every man
here, from the messenger boye up to
the chief operator, haa stood by me In
my efforts to Improve the ssrvlce and
get business, and I will stand by them.".
He signed the letter.
As he pondered, after mailing his let4
trr to the superintendent, the recent
clnnges In the company and the prob
aMe effects of the reorganization, hit
thoughts wandered back over his own
experience since entering the service
cf the company. In this ssme office,
15 years ago. at the age of II. he began
his telegraph career aa a messenger
boy. He recalled with a sml'.e his feel
ing of responsibility when he started
out with his first message, and how
elated he was when, on the night of
that eventful day, the clerk Inspected
his delivery sheets and found a sig
nature for every message. Never since
had he felt so great a responsiouur m
The New Fab!e of the
Galloping Pilgrim
Who Tried to Sit
Down by the Way
side. Tae ew rable e Ike OetleetmeT PH
srrtos Who Tried 1m tit Pevra
ky tke Wayside.
A CERTAIN affluent "Bachelor hap
pened to be the only Orandton of
a rugged Early Settler who wore
a Coon-Skin Cap and drank Corn Juloe
... . . T.i - Awa hark In the DaVI
when every Poor Man had Bacon In the J
Smoke-House. this Pioneer had been
soaked In a Trade and found himself
loaded up with Swamp Subdivision In
the Edge of Town.
Fifty years later the City had spread
two miles beyond the Swamp and
Orandson was tubtnerged beneath to
such Unearned Increment that be be
gan to speak with what sounded to
him like an Engliah Accent and bit
Shirts were ordered from Parla.
On the 1st of every Month the Aarenta
would crawl Into the Presence of the
Grandson cf the mighty Muskrat
Hunter and dump before him a Wagon
load of Papr Money whlcn had been
snatched away from the struggling
Shop-Keepers, who. In turn, had
wheedled It from the Teople who paid
a NIcktl apiece for Sunday Papers to
as to look at the Pictures of the Decor
atlone 4n the Supper-Room at the As
sembly Ball graced by the Presence of
the aforesaid Bachelor whose Grand
father had lifted the original Catfish
ont of the Chicago River.
Then the Representative of the Old
Family would take a Garden Rake and
a aeat Moucd, after which a milk-fed (
i ,, i -- . ...
enjoyed so much a triumph; not even
when he was promoted to delivery
clerk; not' when, after practicing for
hours at night, .he waa put on aa an
operator; not when he was promoted
to chief operator and measured wires
for crosses and grounds with an accu
racy that delighted the linemen; no.
' not when three years ago he was maire
manager of the. office.
He knew and was known by every
man In the city that did a regular tele
arraoh business. He had carried mes
saxes to most of them at all hours of
the day and night. .Many of them haw
j offered him positions In their offices or
I --....-1 , K.. nnlhlni. ti a A a,,, l.iTIlTlt 1
him to leave the t-lRraph office. Tel
! eeraphlng fascinated him. -.He loved
the work. ' .
Two days later he received this reply
to his letter:
"Dear Sir. Tour letter received, and
the excuses you offer for the bad show
ing of your office rioted. Results are
what we want, however, and not ex
cuses. I am obliged, therefore, to call
for your resignation, taking effect the
last day of this month, on the iirst
day of next month I will send a man to
relieve you. You will turn over to mm
all the property and money due the
company, taking his receipt for
the
same. Tours truly,
"H. L. BROWN, Superintendent.
The color faded from Davis" face as
he read the letter. Then his counte
nance grew stern and his eyes flashed.
"He wants results, does ner he mui
tered. "Well. I'll show him a few re
sults." . f -'
In a moment he had control -of his
rising anger, and. turning .to the cash
ler. said: "Tom. make me Up a state
ment of the receipts and expenditures
of the office for the last tlx years,
showing a comparison of the last three
rears -with the three years previous.
"All tight, Mr. Davis." replied the
cashier. "I'll have It for yo. inhalf
an hour."
Later In the day. with the statement
In his pocket. Davis left for Cincinnati
to have an interview with the superin
tendent.
"Now. Mr. Brown." said Davis to the
superintendent, after showing him the
statement of the receipts and expenses
of lb office for six years, "that is my
record. As you see. the receipts of the
office have been doubled in tne last
three veara."
"But the receipts this year are less
than last year. How do you explain
that?"
"Last rear was an exceptionally good
year. The brokers and manufacturers
did an extensive telegraph business.
and I secured a number of new cus
tomers. This year they are not dorhg
so much business."-
"Well, why have you not decreased
your expenses proportionately T
"1 am Increasing the efficiency of the
service. Vou will note that the re
ceipts of the office have doubled slnoe
I became manager. That's the result
of good service."
"Yes. that's good as far as It goes;
but our policy Is to reduce expenses.
Now. Mr. Davis. I have nothing against
you personally, but my Instructions are
to discharge every man who does not
co-operate with us in cutting expenses.
Your record is good. If you will cut
some salaries In your office and get
your expenses lower I will recall my
request for your resignation. Now.
there Is your cashier. He it getting
more"
"But he It a good man and may leave
us."
"Yon can get plenty of men to take
hla place: we have stacks of applica
tions." "He has helped build up the business
and It's hard to find a man that will
put the enthusiasm that he has into the
work. Besides, he stood by me"
"Well, your chief operator. His sal
ary is higher"
"He Is a better chief than the aver
age. His experience makes him a valu
able man."
"Then look at your messenger boye.
They get too much."
"Why. Mr. Brown, 1 have the best
messenger force In the country. You
ought to see thera hustle for messages.
They work overtime, and mere sa i
. irn- it aut and dltln- ,
feet It and sprinkle It with Lilac Water
and tie It Into artistic racaets, nn
Old Gold Ribbon.
After that It was Hard Llnea for the
Bachelor, because he had to alt by a
I
v
i
a
1 IflPzurrTV . . i ...... s. lw J' ' ,t --'.
IT Hi) HARD LUES FOR THB IUC1UXOH.
anything they won't do for me."
"Well. Mr. Davie, where will you re
duce expenses T"
"You will pardon me. Mr. Brown,
when I' state that I know the condi
tions in my office and cite better than
you do. I have gained, and am holding,
some of our. biggest customers by giv
ing them the best service they have
ever had. I know that to reduce ex
penses, and thereby Impair the service,
would mean a big loss of business to
the company."
"It seems unnecessary 'to discuss this
matter further. I understand, then, that
you will not-reduce expenses."
-, "I will not. Goo day. Mr. Brown."
When Davis arrived at his office next
morning his first act was to write
formal resignation and forward .It to
the superintendent. He went through
his mall, dictated replies and cleared up
his desk.
In the evening he called all his em
ployes Into his office, and after thank
Ing them for their loyal support and
efficient service, told them that at the
request of the superintendent he had-re
signed. .
There were exclamations of surprise
and Indignation. Oho of the operators
proposed that they all strike. There
were murmurs of assent.
"No, no," said Davis. "That would do
you harm and would not do me any
good. Stay with the company for the
present at least. I may want you to
help me. later, but don t give up your
present positions until you get better
ones."
Davis, always energetic, was un
usually active during the next few days.
He saw all the firms In the city that
did a big telegraph business. He called
their attention to the fact, which most
of them knew, that he had greatly Im
proved the telegraph service from that
city. He had secured direct wires to
New York and other Important cities.
The rival telegraph company had been
forced to Improve their facilities In or.
dsr to hold part of the business. He
proposed to further Improve the serv
ice. Did they want faster service and
quicker answers to their messagesT Of
course they did. Then he had a con
fldentlal proposition to make. Would
they agree to his conditions? After
hearing them, many of them did.
Four days before the date on which
his resignation was to take effect, Da
vis called upon Cameron, the local man
ager of the Commercial Telegraph Com
pany. Although competitors for busi
ness, and each alive-to the Interests of
his company, they were personal
friends. Cameron, who did not know
that Davis had res.gned. was dumb
founded at the proposition he made.
"I shall have to take that up with
my superintendent at Cincinnati before
I can give you an answer. Davis." he
said, after expressing the surprise he
felt.
"But this matter must be decided at
once." replied Davis. "Give me a let
ter to the superintendent and I will go
and see him."
The superintendent, however, when
Davis saw him. said he would have to
hear from the general superintendent
In Chicago. Davis Immediately set out
to see him.
"I like your proposition. Mr. Davis,"
said the general superintendent, "but
as It Involves considerable expenditure
and -a change In wlrea outside of my
division. I shall have to get authority
from Mr. Adams, general manager of
the company, In New York."
"He Is the man I want to see, tnen.
sald Davis. "Will you write htm now
recommending my proposition! I will
take the letter directly to him and ex
plain the details."
The general superintendent gave mm
the letter.
Twenty-four hours later Davis ar
rived In New York and at ones called
on Mr. Adams, the general manager of
the Commercial Telegraph Company.
Briefly Davis outlined his proposi
tion.
'You say that the leading firms In
your city will give their telegraph
business to whichever company you
want thera tor asked the president.
his manner expressing Incredulity.
'I say that they will allow me to
place their business with the company
Window at the Club and dope out some
new Way of getting all that Coin back
Into Circulation.
At a result of these Herculean Ef
forts to vaporise his Income, he found
himself at the age of 40 afflicted with
M J
For. the
that will give them the quickest serv
ice. Here are contracts with a number
of firms to that effect Many other
flrma with whom I did not make a
written contract verbally agreed to do
so. Now, the substance of my propo
sition is this your company Is to open
two branch offices In the business dis
trict, put in the additional wires, and
make the Improvements that I have
Indicated. These Improvements will
give our olty the best service It has
ever had. I will then turn over the
business that I control. Your receipts
In that city will be doubled. I am to
be appointed manager of the branch
offices, with a commission on the in
creased receipts."
"But what assurance have I that you
can give ua this business?" asked the
general manager. "Your plan Involves
the expenditure of a considerable sum."
"My salary depends upon the amount
of business I give you. If you are
afraid, however, to make the necessary
outlay, the other company will con
sider "
Suppose I give you a larger com
mission say twice the amount you
proposed and do not make the im
provement. If you control the busi
ness you can give It to us anyway, and
both you and your company will make
more"
That It not to be thought of for
an Instant. I promised better servioe
and It It on that condition alone that
Social Gastritis. He had gorged him
self with the Pleaeuree of thlt World
until the eight of a Menu Card gave
him the Willies and the mere mention
of Musical Comedy would cause blm
to break down and Cry like a Child.
He had crossed the Atlantlo so often
that he no longer wlthed to tit at the
Captain's Table. He had rolled them
high1 at Monte" Carlo and watched the
Durbar at Delhi and taken Tea on the
Terrace at Shepheard's In Cairo and
rlckshawed through Japan and ridden
the surf in Honolulu, while his Name
was a Household Word among the
Barmaids of the Ice Palace In London,
otherwise known as the Savoy.
Occasionally he would return to his
provincial Home to raise the Rents on
the Shop-Keepers and give out an In
terview criticising the New School of
Politicians for trifling with Vested In
terests and seeking to disturb Existing
Conditions.
Any time his Rake-Off was reduced
from $10 a Minute to $9.98 he would let
out a Howl like a Prairie Wolf and
call upon Mortimer, his Man, for Sym
pathy. After Twenty Years of getting up at
Twilight to throw aside the Pyjamas
and take a Tub and ease himself Into
the Costume made famous by John
Drew, the Routine of buying Golden
Pheasants and Special Cuvee Vintages
for almost-Ladles, preserved by Ben
xoats of Soda and other Chemical
Mysteries, .began ,to lose Its Sharp
Zest. I
In other "Words, he was All In.
He was Track-Sore and Blase and
sore as a Crab and full of Ongway. Ho
had played the whole String and found
there was nothing to it and now he
was ready to retire to a Monastery and
wear a Gunny-Sack Smoking Jacket
and live on Spinach.
The Vanities of the Night-World had
got on his Nerves at last. Instead of
silting eight feet away from an Import
ed Orchestra at 2 A. M. and taunting
his poor old Alimentary System with
Sea Food, he began to prefer to take a
10-Grain Sleeping Powder and fall back
In the Alfalfa. -
About Noon the next Day he would
come up for Air, and in order to kill
the rest of the Day he would have to
bunt up a Game of Auction Bridge
with three or four other gouty old
Maverlcka. J
m.ejct wkkk: davis was
your company can get the business."
"What is your estimate of the cost
of the improvement?"
"In round numbers, $20,000, but as
I propose to Increase your receipts
$16,000 a month. It makes a rood In
vestment. You will find the estimated
oost fully Itemized In these papers."
"'Mr. Davis." said the general man
ager rising, "I will go over your papers
at once and give your proposition care
ful consldratlon. I will wire my de
cision to the superintendent, who will
advise you. My answer will be await
ing you when you reach home. Good
day, sir."
Davis left for home on the first train.
He arrived on the morning of the day
his resignation took effect. After a
bath and breakfast he hastened to the
office until this day he had always
thought of it as his office.
He found a telegram from the super
intendent of the Commercial Company
awaiting him. It read:
"Your proposition acoepted. Install
branch offices and superintend other
Improvements you outlined."
Later In the day he turned the man
agement of the office over to Brooks,
hit tuccessor. While Davis well knew
that Brooks was In no way responsible
for his discharge, he could not help
feeling that he was a usurper. Their
Intercourse was, therefore, formal and
at brief aa consistent with the business
When-the Carbons begin to burn low
In the tputterlng Arc Lights along the
Boulevard of Pleasure and the Night
Wind cuts like a Chisel and the Reveler
finds his bright crimson Brannlgan
slowly dissolved Itself Into a Helva
MX OS TUB ACROBATICS (IB
On; PW; iwmw
a busy" man:
at hand. Thus ended hit work tor the
Union Telegraph Company.
For the next week he was a busy
man. He opened two, branch offices,
directed the work of four gangs of
linemen who were stringing wires, and
made all necessary arrangements at
the main office for handling the In
creased business.
In the meanwhile the superintendent
waa arranging direct wires to all the
principal cities. When everything was
in readiness. Davis notified hla sue
tomers, and in one day-more than haif
of the business of the Union Telegraph
Company was transferred to the Com
mercial Company.
The Union Telegraph Company en
deavored to regain the business.
Brooks, the new manager, who well
knew that the president, when he
learned of the decrease In receipts,
would want an explanation, tele
graphed for Superintendent Brown to
come to his assistance.
"I have reduced expenses, Mr. Brown,
as -you directed," said Brooka, after he
had acquainted him with the situation.
"But since this loss In receipts they
are larger, proportionately, than they
ware. The office will make an awful
showing this month. We will have to
fix up some kind of an explanation for
the president." i
"The president wants results. Expla
nations won't go with him. We have
Headache, there It but one thing for
a Wise Ike to do and that it to Chop
on the Festivities and. beat it to a Rest
Cure.
That Is Just what the well-fixed
Bachelor decided to do.
YOU'LL LOSE YOl'H A'UJLBER.
got to get this business back. Brooke,"
replied Superintendent Brown.
Together they canvassed the oustom
ers who had turned their business to
Davis with the rival company. Every
where they received the same answer:
"You will have to see Davis. He has
charge of our telegraph business now,
yon know. He gives us quick service,
too the best we ever had. Bright
young man, that fellow Davis. How
did he happen to leave your company?"
A few of the smaller customers, how
ever, promised to give them part of
their business. But after thoroughly
canvassing the city they regained only
a small part of the lost trade.
Superintendent Brown returned to
his office and thought over the situa
tion. "I will have to offer excuses to
the president after all," he thought.
"I wonder If he will tell me, aa I told
Davis, that he wants results, not ex
cuses. Anyway. I carried out his policy
In reducing expenses. I believe Davis
is right, though, when he maintains
that reducing expenses Isn't always the
best policy. Remarkable' man, that fel
low Davis! I wonder if I can get him
back. I will have to increase his sal
ary, I suppose. Humiliating, too, but
less so than to be -obliged to explain
the situation to the president.'"
Then he sent the following telegram
to Davis:
"Will you accept your old position
with us at $600 Increase and carry out
your own policy? Wire answer."
Two hours later he received this re
ply: "Cannot accept your offer. I have
Just been promoted to superintendent
of this division of the Commercial
Telegraph Company.
"JOHN DAVIS."
He resolved to Marry and get away
from the Bright Lights and He down
somewhere in a quilted Dressing Gown
and a pair of Soft Slippers and dsvote
the remainder of his Life to a grand
clean-up of the Works of Arnold Ben
nett. -
He selected a well-seasoned Benorlta
who was still young enough to show to
your Men friends but old enough to
cut out all the prevalent Mushgush
about the Irish Drama and Norwegian.
Art and Buddhism and the true Sym
bolism of Russian Dancing.
Best of all, she had a spotless Repu
tation, holding herself down to one
Bronx at a Time and always going be
hind a Screen to do her Inhaling.
They were married according to the
new Ceremonies devised by the Ring-ling-
Brothers. At they rode away to
their Future Home, the old Stager
leaned back in the Limousine and
said: "At last the Bird has Lit. I am '
going to put on the Simple Life for an
Indefinite Run. I have played the
Hoop-La Game to a Standstill, to It Is
me for a Haven of Rest."
As soon as -they were safely in their
own Apartments, the beautiful Bride
began to do Flij- Flops and screech for
Joy. t
"At last I-.have a License to ont
loose!" she exclitlmed. "For years I
have hankered and honed to be Dead
Game and back Excitement right off
the Boards, but every time I pulled a
Caper the stern-faced. Mater would be
at Elbow, saying:' "Nix on the Acro
batics or you'll lose your Number.'
Now I'm a regular honest-to-goodness
Married .Woman and I don't recognise
any Limit except the Sky-Llne. I
grabbed you because 1 Knew you naa
been to all the Places that keep Open '
and could frame up a new Jamboree
every day in the Year. I'm going to
plow an eif?ht-foot furrow across Eu
rone and Dine forevermore .at Swell
Joints where famous Show Girls pass
so close to your Table that you can al
most reach out and Touch tnem. 1 m
going to raavel 12 months every Year
and do all the Stunts known to the
most Imbecile Globe-Trotters."
A few Weeks after that, a Haggara
Man with tattered Coat-Tails was seen
going over the old familiar Jumps.
MORAL: Those who Marry to Es
cape something usualy find Something
Else. ...
(Copyrighted, 1912, by. George Aoe..