THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAN. POItTLATTO. JULY 2, 1911-
APPALLING
Statesmen and Philanthropists Grappling With the
Great Problem of the Slam Child Blind Alley Oc
cupations the Curse of Boyhood Premier Asquith
Declares England Has Finest Raw Material In
World Bat the Delivery Boy at the End of the Van
Is One of the Great City's Most Depressing Sights.
"London's Tortare Chamber" the Description of the
Horton Slam Area Ragged School Union the
Most Beneficent Aid Society Praise for American
Stady of Children.
BT WILKINSON SHEBREN. .
LONDON. June 51. (Special Corre
spondence.) "We have the finest
raw material In the world." said
Premier Asqulth. In (peaking; of Na
tional education In Britain. But an
other of hla utterances forma a i fi
ll t 'leant addition to that assertion, by
hinting- at the tough problem of boy
labor which public men are now trying
to solre.
"The delivery boy at the end of the
an la one of the most depressing
sights of a great city."
In these two expressions of opinion
from the head of the British Govern
ment yon can catch a glimpse of the
kink in this country's social machin
ery. The result of that kink Is seen In
rags and wretchedness In every big
English city. The wearer of those
rags and the victim of that wretched
ness form- part of the raw material
praised by the Prime Minister, but
through lack of opportunity and guid
ance they drift Into what Is known as
blind alley employment, the kind of
labor that leads nowhere, unless It be
to the gutter or the JalL That Is the
weakest link in the chain of Britten
Imperialism, so much talk of this coro
nation year.
Thousands of boys throughout the
country on leaving yooI enter call
ings that offer neither prospect of ad
vancement nor Incentive to self-Improvement.
Tou see lads everywhere,
the sons of poor parents, beginning
life on the downgrade that leads to
destitution. To some extent this can
be seen also In American and British
colonial cities, but nowhere to the
same degree as In England.
The education boya receive In the
elementary schools here Is scarcely
needed at all In the forms of labor
they drift to. and consequently the
advantages nf their schooling are
soon lost. The result too often Is
that when they outgrow the slender
wage a large proportion of them either
stop short at other mechanical Jobs,
swell the ranka of the unemployed, or
become unemployable.
London's Tnrtnre Chamber.
And It must be remembered that
there Is no association on this aide
like the Boston Newsboys Union, with
Its yearly scholarship at Harvard. The
sharp featured lads who sell news
papers In England cities are only held
together by the freemasonry of want.
Furh extra chances of cent-making as
exist are self supplied, by opening and
shutting the doors of taxi cabs and
Terse Tales From
THE LCXATIC WAS RIGHT.
Some time ago a man at Tpsllantl.
Mich- became erased on the subject of
hypnotism, and was sent on a Michigan
Central train to an asylum. When the
conductor asked for tickets the crasy
man began telling him of hi hypnotic
powers.
"I'll nypnotis you." he said.
"Vlre aay." replied the conductor.
The man made several passe before
the man's face.
"Now you are hypnotizea." he said.
The conductor looked the part the best
be could.
Tou're a conductor." the hypnotist
That' right." replied the victim.
"Tou're a good conductor. ment on
the hypnotist.
"Right again." said the conductor.
"You don t smoke, drink or swear at
ih passengers. In fact, you do not steal
a cent."
"Tiiat's right." assorted the conductor.
The hynotist eyed him for a moment,
then said:
"What an awful fix you'd be In if I
Wt you In this condition:" The Wasp.
MIGHT ni'X XK THE COUNCIL
An English father consulted a friend
as to what career he ought to select
for his son. a boy of 10. The friend
thought the matter over for a bit and
then advised the father as follows:
"Lock your boy In a room where
there Is a Bible on the table, an apple
and some pieces of money. After a
quarter of an hour open the door noise
lessly and see what be Is doing. If
he is reading the Bible, make him a
clergyman: If his attention Is concen
trated on the apple, make him a farm
er, and if he la amusing himself by
counting the money It's plain that be
Is meant to be a financier."
The experiment was tried and when
the friend inquired what the result was
the father replied:
"I found him sitting on T Bible, he
had pocketed the money and waa eat
ing the apple."
"Make him a member of Parliament,
then." was the advice of the friend.
London Globe.
Carrying Out Orders.
General Nelson A. Miles tell this
story to illustrate the result of car
rying military discipline too far. There
was a certain colonel who. In the mid
dle of a campaign, was seised wih a
sudden ardor about hygiene. He or
dered that all the men change their
shirts at once.
Tha order was duly carried out. ex
cept in the case of on company, where
LON DON3
carriages, in return for tlpa from the
passengers. Visitors at the Cecil and
elsewhere are familiar with such at
tentions, though no amount of famili
arity with British life can accustom
them to the dirty and ragged appear
ance of those pathetically alert tatter
demalions. "London's torture chamber." That la
what an American Investigator called
lloxton. where one of the biggest
ragged schools In England is striving
to repair some of the ravages of
poverty among the young. In a build
ing overlooking Hoxton market a
large a.phalted square I watched over
200 children congregating at tea time,
because there was no food for them in
their own homes. Little girls of 7
came In. carrying babies, followed by
bright-faced boya. many of them In
coats' too big and boots too dilapidated
either for comfort or decency.
i hen I saw them march, two by two,
a Juvenile army of the half-starved, to
the building of the Alexandra. Trust,
there to receive a substantial 5 o'clock
meal, prior to returning to the play
ground of the streets, before being
finally shut away for the night In their
wretched one-roemed homes.
Dante never figured anything so dread
ful In his mediaeval hel as the plight
of these rag-wresthed children, victims
of the twin devils of disease and
wretchedness. In one year 614.000 free
meals are distributed to them. 11.600
garments are given away, IMS pairs of
mended boots. 121 children are sent
for a day in the country and 744 for
one week.
But beneficial changes in relation to
children handicapped by fortune are
noticeable In many departments of Eng
lish life. Most significant Is the Im
provement In the lot of the children
who become chargeable to the poor law.
Not long ago John Burns, president of
the Loral Government Board, told the
House of Commons of the success of poor
law children In after life. "Neither
Eton nor Harrow. Rugby nor Winches
ter can show anything like ao good a
record as the poor law children when
they have been sufficiently long under
poor law Jurisdiction." he said. In spite
of class pride snd prejudice eome of the
poor scholars struggle upward from the
elementary schools, by means of schol
arships to higher schools, and a few to
the universities.
Chosen for "King's Scholar."
Occasionally the King lets in the light
of helpfulness and romance upon the
dark corners of a boy's heart, as in the
case of an S-year-old Newcastle lad,
Francis Campbell, efaoeen the other day
by the sovereign from hundreds of oth
er English boya to be the "King's scho
lar" at the Royal Merchant Seamen'
Orphanage at Snareabrook. When the
little lad arrived at the Essex home, he
Humorous Pens
the privates' wardrobe had been pit
iably depleted. The captain of this
company was informed that none of
bis men could change their shirts,
since they only had one apiece. When
he reported this fact, the colonel hesi
tated a moment, then said, firmly:
"Orders must be obeyed. Let the men
change shirts with one another."
Youth' Companion.
rLATO USKD AS A PLAG.UUST
"The author of genius," said William
Dean Ho wells. Socialist and author, at
a dinner in New York, "expresses tha
thoughts of his time. He speak out
those thing that hi generation ha
all along been thinking but thinking
silently, and. perhaps, a little mistily.
"An author of transcendental genius
speak tha thought of all time. For ex
ample, one Summer at Sunapee I loaned
a volume of Plato to a lean, shrewd
farmer. When the volume wa re
turned. I said:
"'Well, how did you like PlatoT
"'Fust rate. the farmer answered.
1 see he's got some of my Ideas. "
New York Observer.
REAL FACT.
The clock struck II P. M. Mrs. Moggs
yawned behind her fan. Mr. Moggs
coughed. But their visitor disre
garded the hint and began to discourse
on the simple Ufa. At 11:30 they were
In tha thick of politics. At 11 they
were arguing about Shakespeare. At
11:30 they were wading In philosophy.
At 1 It was standard bread. Then Mrs.
Mogga frowned meaningly at her
sleepy spouse. Unless they wished to
remain up all night something must
be done. Se be did it.
"Goodness gracious, how late It Is!"
he cried. Jumping up suddenly. "My
dear, hadn't we better go to bed T Our
friends may want to be going"
Answers.
SOLUTION OF GRAVE PROBLEM.
For 16 years "Mike" Flinn had cleaned
out the Town Hall after show, lectures,
political meetings. Decoration day ex
ercises and other doings, and never a
complaint did he make, says an Ex
change. Recently, however, he fancied
he had a kick coming, and he went into
the Mayor's office to register it.
"What is It. 'MlkeT asked the Mayor.
"It's about the hall, yer hoaor. The
bre stand up in the rear, they do. an'
they chew and spit durln" the Intlrr
performance. An' not a worrud would
Ol say. yer honor. If they would spit
out on the Our where Ol could git at
it, but the varmints they will spit all
over the legs of the chaira- In the back
Tenft
11 1 1L U
LOON ofm
HUMAN
In it v iAv
. vv 'L.r
I'"'. V i r'U
1 1
was Informed that "the King has pro
vided for your maintenance and educa
tion." The brightest page in the more recent
social history of tin gland was begun In
I9UJ with the passing of the employment
of children act. This definitely pro
hibited the employment of children un
der 14 years of age between the hours
of In the evening and In the morn-
Ins;, and empowered local authorities to
pass by-laws further restricting and lim
iting such employment. Previous to this
there were laws making It possible to
prevent children under 13 years of age
being euiployed during school hours.
The London County council was tne
first local authority to avail Itself of
the new powers conferred by the act of
wa. No boy under the age or i is now
allowed to carry on street trading in
London, and every boy has to wear a
badge on his right arm in token of his
license to trade.
Restrictive legtslaton Is the natural
precursor of constructive endeavor, n
Is all very wen governing- tne condi
tions of Juvenile employment, but if
the amDlovment Itself Is an undesir
able one the lot of the boy la not much
improved. One of the most striking
indications of the widespread desire to
lead boys out of the blind alley employ
ment is noticeable in the Government
postal service. Some time ago a stand
ing committee on boy labor In the
rowan' on the places where the chairs
do be fastened to the fiure, an' hard
work it Is fer a man of me age to stoop
down an scrub it off. There's a favor
Ol would ask of yer honor this mornln'
In resplct to it."
"What is that, 'MlkeT'
"Indade. Ol would ask yer honor fer
permission an' authority to do away
with the back row of seats Intlrely. No
body lolkes to ait In the back row any
how, yer honor, an' sincelesa it is to
bv on In the hall at all at all."
I WOULD DEVELOP THE NEED.
After a day and a night spent In an
swering telephone calls from people
who wanted the latest news from I'esry
and Dr. Cook, the secretary of one of
the Arctic clubs had retired for a well
earned rest, when the persistent phone
bell rang again. A voice at the other
end said:
"Do you want the ambulance sent
right over?"
"What ambulance?" roared the Irate
secretary.
"Why, the on you sent for."
"I sent for no ambulance."
"You lie!"
The secretary gasped; then he
screamed into the phone:
"Send it on as soon as possible, and
you come over, too, and I'll send you
back In it.!" New York Sun.
. COLOR BLINDNESS.
'We" were driving through the coun
try last Fall." related a Boatonian. "We
had an Irish chauffeur who seemed to
know all about the rural districts, and
we asked him a good many questions,
for the vicinity was unfamiliar to us.
I myself am city bred, and my Igno
rance of rustlo matters is lamentable.
As w passed a long line of bushes by
the wayside, I asked:
" Terence, what are those bushes?'
" 'Blackberries, sir,' answered Terence.
" 'But they are red." I objected.
"Huh!" grunted Terence, "don't yex
know that blackberries are always red
whin they are green V
"I didn't know such an extraordinary
thlpg, but I have learned that he was
rlgtatt" Boston Traveler.
FELL- FOR IT.
Ya-as." drawled the Yankee, "I
once knoo a man. sir. who fell off a
window-sill in a flat twenty stories
high and never hurt himself, beyond a
few bruise."
"Nonsense!" exclaimed tha English
man. "Truer asserted the other. "Up
there he was. cleanin' the window, and
he fell right off."
"Bosh!" said the Englishman. "How
could thst be?"
"Wa-al, sir," ' drawled the Yankee,
"vou see, he Just happened luckily to
fall Inside!" Tit-Bit.
Postofflce met and agreed upon cer
tain concrete proposal to remedy the
evil. According to the latest available
annual figures, out of 15,790 boys In
employment as messengers. 6782 left on
the expiration of their term of service
at 16 years of age. Of this number
1615 were absorbed Into the establish
ment, 1970 found occupations for them
selves, 911 got situations through the
Department's employment register, and
1690 left the public service without any
definite prospect of immediate employ
ment. Various recommendations have been
made and are now being put into oper
ation, to retain a far larger proportion
of the Juvenile postal labor. As one
half of the vacancies for postmen and
porters are reserved for ex-soldiers and
sailors. It is suggested that messenger
boys who on the expiration of their
services are willing to enlist, shall be
given the opportunity of returning to
employment in the Postofflce as post
men or porters after a term of adult
service in the Army or Navy. At one
time it was proposed that girls should
take the place of boy as outfoor mes
sengers, but as it was found that the
scheme exposed them to danger in the
streets. It was abandoned.
The Admiralty Is also doing its best
to solve the problem by finding employ
ment for boy telegraph messengers
after their period of service. The In-
Quips and Flings
rrrEACHER What change takes place
I when water freezes?
Tommy (Innocently) A change
In price, I guess. Harper's Weekly.
"Ara they good neighbors?"
"Yes, indeed. Neither of them ha
any children." Detroit Free Press.
...
Patience Did you feel like clapping
your hands while she was singing?
Patrice Yes; clapping my hands
over my ears." Yonkers' Statesman.
' x
Poet Why do you call your cat
Manuscript?
Hackwriter No matter how often or
how far I send him away, he always
come back. Judge.
Caller How is your new office boy
getting along these days?
Lawyer Ou, fine! He' got things
so mixed up now that I couldn't get
along without him! Puck.
. .
"I expect to make a fortune out of
an invention that I have Just com
pleted." "What Is itr
"A piano that can be folded up and
used as a card table. It will be a great
thing for flats." Chicago Record-Herald.
Artist My object wa to try and ex
press all the horrors of war. How do
you like it?
Friend I have never seen anything
more horrible. London Opinion.
...
Tommy Pop, one o' the fellers ays
I look like you.
Tommy's Pop And what did you
say?
Tommy-r-Gee! I couldn't say any
thing. He's a good bit bigger than tne.
Philadelphia Record.
...
"Could you give up drinking for my
sake?" "I'm not drinking for your
sake." Birmingham Age-Herald.
...
Mrs. Naglelgh I suppose you are
satisfied now that you made a mis
take when you married me- Naglelgh
I made a mistake, all right, but I'm
not satisfied. Boston Transcript.
...
"Did the prisoner go beyond well
defined bounds in his defense?" "Nop;
he Jiftt went to Jail." Baltimore
American.
"There goes a man who has been in
hundreds of revolutions." "You don't
say?" "Yes, he used to work on a
Ferris wheel." Birmingham Age-Her-old.
...
"What does your father do when you
ask him questions?" asked one small
LCX5IZ?
B! aMaflliisiBll 2 v V " jjj
; ,
hh
' 11 Po0 - ,sv V- S
3- , $ ii I . it - ill
' A K - ' If JC I
, w,.. - v Jill . , ,XV-rw i
stallation of wireless telegraphy in tho
Navy is followed by a corresponding
increase in the sixe of the wireless tele
graph staff under the control of the
Admiralty. Special facilities are there
fore to be offered to postal employes
who wish to Join this branch of the
public service.
The initial stages of the battle for
the helpless youngsters was begun by
a nobleman, still known as the good
Lord Shaftesbury, who. seeing the
plight of . the little slave of the Eng
lish coal mines, got the first factory
act passed, which put an end to under
ground toll for children. He saw that
the children of the poor were old when
their contemporaries, the young hope
ful of wealthy parents, were laughing
and shouting in the busy idleness of the
playing fields of the great schools. And
but for what the British standpatters
term "grandmotherly legislation" they
would be aged long before the more
fortunate youths entered upon their
university careers.
So he became first president of by
far the most active and far-reaching of
all the helpful societies, the Ragged
School Union, now presided over by Sir
John Kirk, who was knighted four
years ago for his services to the rising
generation. All the beneficent activi
ties of thl union ere carried on by
6000 voluntary workers, who work
lie M
boy. "He generally says: 'I'm busy
now; don't bother me,'" replied the
other. "Then when I go out of the
room he looks in the encyclopedia."
Washington Star.
. .
"BHK8"lns is one of those people who
are always afraid they are missing
something."
"Yes. He can't read the advertise
ment of a painless dentist without feel
ing disappointed because his teeth
don't need fixing." Washington Star.
...
Pupil to schoolmaster) Sir, would
you mind taking great care now juu
draw up my report? My parent suf
fer dreadfully from nerves. Fllegende
Blaetter.
Teacher Now. who can tell me the
uses to which our forests are put?
Willie (eagerly) Dey cut 'em up
Into sawdust for de saloon floors.
Judge. - '
...
Methuselah chuckled.
"I remember a Summer Just like this
700 years ago," ho cried.
Abashed, the others slunk away.
New York Sun.
...
Wife We lent that man some grass
seed last month. I suppose he came
over Just, now to return it.
Hub No, to borrow our lawn mower.
Boston Transcript.
...
"Pa, what is an armistice?"
"An armistice, my son, is a sort of
lull in warlike proceedings which
gives the correspondents a chance to
put new ribbons on their typewriters
and replace the keys they broke in the
thick of the fray Birmingham Age
Herald. . . e
"Then you don't want to be rescued?"
"No." replied the man on the tropical
isle. "I have already accumulated
over 2,000,000 clam tells. What's the
use of going back to civilisation and
having to start afresh?" Pittsburg
Post. "
t .
Rube Where's yer boy naow?
JOBh He's In New York.
Rube Which side's he on by this
time?
Josh What d'yer mean?
Rube Is he sellin' gold bricks
a'ready or buyin' 'era yet? Toledo
Blade. ,
.... '
"I don't like my new gown very
well," said the lady. "The material
is awfully pretty, and the style is all
right, bnt it needs something to im
prove the shape of It."
"Why," suggested her dearest friend,
"don't you let some other girl wear it?"
Boston Globe.
...
"My pa says he's got an option on
our house."
"Mv pa's got a mortgage on ours."
Baltimore American. -
V " on
from a religious basis. It has 103 local
missions and schools. Its industrial
training helps cripples to become self
supporting by teaching them shoemak
Ing, dressmaking and other Industries.
Its barefoot union clothes ragged chil
dren, whilst emigration is promoted
among the young men and women who
have grown up under its care and find
no outlet for their energies in the old
country.
Emigration Is Solution.
Sir John Kirk told me the problem
of blind-alley employment and the
over-crowding of the labor market
can only be solved by emigrating the
surplus population to Canada and vari.
ous parts of the world. He does not
think that higher education is prop
erly applicable to all boys in the pub
lic elementary schools. What he wants
to see is a change In the cast-Iron sys
tem of education, by way of differen
tial treatment of scholars, the( rural
pupils to specialise on agriculture and
fruitgrowing, and the city boys upon
Among the Poets
JUNE GROOMS. . .
Tbey don't amount
To much, I know.
The brides mono
polise the show;
But sea the flowers
They , carry now.
The orange wreath
Upon each brow;
The carriages
In which they ride;
. The ring with which
The knots are tied;
The carfpins that
The ushers get;
The license fee.
And there is yet
The "ten spot" for
The parson, too;
The cabbies" tips
When all is through;
The shower bouquets
For bridesmaids fair;
The diamond sunburst
For her hair.
Yes, all of these
And more beside.
Are glories that
The grooms provide.
They don't amount
To much, I know,
But lacking them
There'd be no show.
Detroit Free Press.
THE VILLAGE FROG,
(With customary apologies.)
Under the lily pads and things
The big old bullfrog squats;
His greenish hide Is thick, b'JIngs,
With warts, and lumps, and knots.
And "when he swells himself and
sings
His voice is rough in spots.
His thighs are thick, and big,, and
strong;
Yet, he enjoys his ease:
And when the echoes of his song
Are borne upon the breeze.
His normal slope, unless I'm wrong,
Is forty-five degrees.
Week in, week out, from morn till
night.
You can hear his bellows blow;
You can hear him sound his gong, all
right,
With measured beat and slow.
Like a bruiser spoiling for a fight
When there isn't any foe.
On Sunday come the village boys,
With fishing poles, red rags,
And sticks and stones; and then his
voice
Mysterious lags.
He hides himself he has no choice
Down deep amid the flags.
Squatting, hiding, bellowing, .
vn 4 life F
Vi- . . " cYCJt i v
oi- VrUVlW
A A
EC WOll
IS J J ik &
technical instruction in the trades pe
cullar to their district.
"The mistake has been made," he
says, "of 'devoting teaching energy al
most entirely to the mind. The physi
cal must be cultivated alongside the
mental, so as to develop the whole
man."
Sir John Kirk follows the policy
laid down by Earl Shaftesbury, who
said, "Stick to the gutter," an admoni
tion to reclaim the children of the
poorest of the poor. Before I left him,
he handed out a bouquet to Americans.
"They are already ahead of us in the
knowledge and study of children," he
said. But Sir John Kirk congratulated
himself on the fact that his own prob
lems are not so much complicated by
the children of aliens as in tha United
States.
He is an optimist and believes in
the saying, "Where there's a will,
there's a way." Britishers have un
doubtedly the will, and they are slowly
but surely finding the way to save
the children of the country from drift
ing into the legion of the lost. '
of the Daily Press )
Onward through life he goes;
He eats a little, tries to sing,
And warbles through his nose.
He doesn't have to do a thinf
To earn a night's repose.
Thanks, thanks' to thee, my warty
friend.
For the lesson thou has taught!
Thus, in the great frogpond of life.
Our fortunes mush be wrought;
There's nothing else on earth to do
But keep from getting caught!
Chicago Tribune.
WAR TO THE DEATH.
"What's all that whackin' goin on?"
said crlcket-neath-the-bed.
"Tho big guns of world-wide war," tha
wise old spider said.
"Who's that let out that awful shriek?"
said crlcket-neath-the-bed.
"A fly that didn't dodge quite right,"
the wise old spider said;
"For they're warrin' in the daytime.
and they're warring in the night;
They'ye tinkered up the screen doors
till the things are near airtight;
They've armed themselves with papers,
and with shingles for to smite.
And they're swattin" of His Flyshlp in
the mornln'."
"Why don't they whack something their
size?" said cricket-neath-the-bed.
"I'll read you Doctor Wiley' dope," the
wise old spider said.
"Why don't they let the baldhead
fight?" said cricket-neath-the-bed.
"Thi3 ain't no war of 'class or ereed,"
the wise old spider said.
"But all hands is at the cannon, and
they're shootin' left and right;
The flies that aren't crippled had bet
ter take to flight.
For the face so long fly-trodden is a
worm that's turned, all right.
And it's swattin' of His Flyshlp in th.9
mornln'."
Denver Republican.
THE SHAKESPEARE MURDER.
Bacon murdered Shakespeare? Non
sense! How could that be, pray?
Why, I saw an actor do it
Only yesterday.
Boston Transcript.
TWO WAYS.
He who finds he has something to sell,
And goes and whispers it down a well.
Is not apt to collar the dollar
As he who climbs a tree and hollers.
The Advertiser.