TIIE SUNDAY OREGOXIAX, PORTLAXD, APRIL 23, 1911.
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rORTLAXD, eCNDAT. AFKII. I J. Mil.
THE rNnACATED sOCTHWKST.
The breach between Seattle and her
neighbor In Southwestern Washlng
toa seems to be widening. The De
velopment League Associations of the
Pouthweat will not be represented at
the banquet which Seattle pmpoeea to
give as peace offering. Thla final
declaration of independence seems to
be a very pointed notice to Seattle
that If ahe expects a resumption of
pleasant relation that existed between
her and her neighbor In the South
went It will be necessary for her to
offer more substantial balm than a
banquet with hot-air speeches. The aid
by Seattle In the holding up of legis
lation on the raci.'lc highway bill was
of course Indefensible, but It Is doubt
ful If the hearty co-opcratlon of Se
attle In favor of the much-needed
highway would have prevented the
Southwest taking advantage of the
natural and logical trade renter across
the river In Oregon.
The work of man has wrought great
changes In the works of Nature. It
has at times set .aside or temporarily
turroounted the barriers which Na
ture erected. In the end. however.
trade and travel have kept fairly close
to the clearly defined lines of least
resistance, the economic advantages
of which have always been too clearly
distinguishable to be Ignored. The
building of the Pacific highway
through Southwestern Washington
was a duty of the state to a locality
that In the production of wealth and
payment of taxes ranks near the head
of the list. Deepita the narrow-mind
ed view which Seattle had regarding
the matter, the proposed highway
would have Increased faculties and In
creased the business between Puget
Sound and the Southwest simultane
ously with a possible Increase between
the Southwest and Portland.
The Justifiable resentment now
shown by the people of the Southwest
would have been avoided. Seattle
would have had more business with
the region than she ever had before,
and Portland, by virtue of her natural
position, would have had more trade
than Seattle. All that has been ac
complished by Seattle In defeating the
highway bill has been to deprive a
large and rapidly growing section of
a much-needed Improvement. At the
same time Seattle has unwittingly ce
mented an already pretty firm bond
of friendship between Portland and
her neighbors In the Southwest.
LOWKR "BACK H At'L" RATE.
Much has been printed recently
about the preparations that the trans
continental railroads were making for
meeting the competition of the Pan
ama Canal which In the not far dis
tant future will be a tremendous fac
tor In rate-making. When the Harrl
man interests arranged for a f 75.000.
000 budget to be used In double-tracking
and otherwise Improving the
system the approaching completion
of the Panama Canal was given as a
reason for the elaborate provision that
was made for the Improvements.
Other lines have also been financing
big Improvement projects, and. while
no admissions are made that this
coming activity Is for the purpose of
protecting the rail business against
water competition. It la highly prob
able that this Is one of the reasons.
In Tlew of the steady Increase In
the volume of water-borne commerce
fcerween the Atlantic and Pacific sea
boards. It ts questionable whether the
transcontinental roads. In perfect phy
sical condition and operated In the
most economical manner possible, can
meet this new competition. In refer
ring to the old service by way of
Cape Horn and the Straits of Magel
lan the Interstate Commerce Commis
sion, commenting on the evidence of
fered, expressed the opinion that
"this water competition not only
limits the rates which are now In ef
fect from the Atlantic Coast to Port
land. Seattle and Tacoma. but the ex
istence of this competition, especially
Jn view of the approaching completion
f'f the Panama Canal, must be a dom
inant factor In determining both the
j resent rates and the future policy
of these transcontinental lines.
It la on that "future policy men
tioned by the Commission that much
of the prosperity of the Pacific Coast
will be dependent. It la estimated
that the water carriers plying In con
nection with all lines operating by
water last year brought about 400,000
tons out of about 3.000.000 tons which
moved to Coast terminals from East-
em territory. omparea witn wnat
wt'.l be possible on completion of the
canal, there Is a tremendous economic
waste In the present methods of
transhipping the freight at Panama
and Tehuantepec. but even under ex
isting conditions, and with a heavy
back-haul rate from the Pacific Coast
to Interior points. It is possible at
times to ship Chicago freight to New
Tork. thence by water to Portland
by way of the Isthmus, and then sev
eral hundred miles Inland again, at a
lower rate than the railroads care to
make from Chicago west.
It will be a very difficult matter for
the railroads to meet this competition
when the canal Is completed, and. In
stead of attempting to meet It with
the long rail, haul from the East. It
will be to their advantage, as well s
to the advantage of the Coast termi
nal ports, to have the freight brought
to the coast by water and distributed
as far Inland as the Rocky Mountains.
By this method of distribution the
railroads can get a much higher per-ton-per-mlle
rate than they could get
on the all-rail haul from the East.
The change would enable Pacific
Coast manufacturers to compete as
far east as the Rocky Mountains with
Eastern concerns that are now greatly
favored In rates.
la hrieT submitted to lhe Intrr-
state Commerce Commission by Mr.
Teal of this city. It la shown that un
der present tariffs the rate per-ton-per-mll
from Chicago and Middle
Western points la only about one-half
the rate from Portland to the terri
tory now Invaded by the Eastern Job
bers and manufacturers. The rail
roads seem to have got Into a groove
on this matter, but It Is almost a cer
tainty that the canal will shake them
out of It and that the entire Coast will
be the gainer by the change.
OT -DIRXCT" METHOU.
One might confidently expect a dis
creet and carefully preserved silence
on the part of those opponents of di
rect election of United States Senators
who are numbered among the constit
uents of one William Lorlmer. It la
therefore with some surprise that we
read In the Chicago Inter-Ocean a
rcry outspoken criticism of the fruits
of the "direct" method that has been
attained In certain Western states
through circumvention of the Consti
tution. The Inter-Ocean presents the
following:
As mills of lha -direct" metaod wa have
mam la ta Senate paraoaa wbo cannot een
spaas. Iba English language decently,
kate there persons w&oee laoushta are so
lnrnh.r..t that tiiav eaaaot BDeak. tor 10
mlnutaa ar ante tuoo words without gal'
tin- ab KAtH i.i of a auaatlua.
Wa cava saaatora whoaa visass remind
ana of lb cruel and silly lrlflra aha made
me Kelxa v Terror. We have bVnatore
boat manners cum Del lite obacrrer la ask
himself a-hetner this la the Ueaata ol the
L allrd Slates or a buuthweeiern Lesiaialure.
it ta a utouaaod DIUaa lb at in waol
bodv of eaters cannoi be iranvported.
Wasblnatoa and civen opportunity to ob
Htit tne "direct" Senators ae may strut
and fuse and Jinsl and lay their petty
scnemee ta set Ibclr aatnaa in ma papers.
Tne experience would cure snaay uireci
delusions.
1 bo arerase eenelble and patrlotlo Amcri
can would so heme certain that ha wanlec
no more tnatnre of the type tf Gronna and
Works and Hourne and Jed Davie and Urta
tew aad Owen and some others that are ai'
most as perfect specimens of what a I'nlted
Hieiea aenator should not be that ha
wanted no mora of a political method that
threatens tn place the benata of the United
ataiea oa ut leel of a state lesiaiaturew
It la hardly worth while to compare
a system that produces a Lorlmer
with one that produces even a Bourne
or an Owen, but let it be remembered
that the direct election plan In use in
Oregon is but a makeshift. Its cum
bersome machinery of which we can
not now rid ourselves supplies an
available means for election through
political Intrigue, boss Ism, machine
rule and treachery to party. It Insures
the presence of a Senatorial contest
In more or lesa definite form In every
election. In two out of every three
elections are chosen members of the
Legislature who later are called upon
to vote for candidates for the United
Statca Senate. In one out of three
elections certain State Senators are
elected who hold over and therefore
vote In the second session of their
term on that issue.
With all of these, the subscribing to
Statement One or the pledge to support
the people's choice for Senator Is op
tional. Statement One is therefore al
ways with us. It has become a fetich
It la Invoked by candidates for minor
offices where It means nothing more
than an open plea for the support of
the friends of United States Senators
whom Statement One has put Into of
fice. It crops out In the race for Gov.
ernor. for City Auditor, for Constable.
It builds a machine that has the once
potent Federal brigade backed off the
map,
The fruits of such a system cannot
Justly be held up as examples of the
product of real direct election of
United States Senators. The adoption
of the Federal amendment will loosen
the parasitical hold the small Jobs
have on the Senatorshlp In the states
that now avoid the Constitution and
will remove the office from possibility
of money barter and auction In the
others. Once we have a clear-cut Is
sue for the people alone ta deal itith.
we ah ail be able to Improve the per
sonnel of the Senate of the United
States and raise the level of the State
Legislature also
THE rKWAJtATION' or SERMONS.
The Reverend John Henry Jowett.
the British pastor who has Just been
Imported from London to supply the
pulpit of the Fifth-Avenue Presbyter
ian Church In New Tork. Informs his
congregation that be wants his morn
ings to himself. He does not wish to
make pastoral calls or receive visitors,
or discuss foreign missions or consider
problems connected with the Sunday
school In the forenoon. After 13 o'clock
let the gay or sorrowful or busy world
intrude as much as It will, but while
the dawn Is fresh and the dew sparkles
on the grass he dealres to work at his
sermons.
He purposes to begin preparation for
his next Sunday's discourse early Mon
day morning and keep at It all the
week. "Some preachers," he modestly
remarks, "can get up a sermon between
Friday and Sunday, but I cannot. My
mind works slowly and new Ideas
throng Info It but thinly. So I must
have my mornings during the whole
week or you will get dull sermons."
This Is the purport of his explanation.
and. In our opinion, there are a goodly
number of ministers who might profit
by taking It to heart-
To be sure, the preparation of a ser
mon does net look like a tremendous
task. The ordinary congregation will
not tolerate a discourse longer than
half an hour. They prefer fifteen min
utes. Surely It ought not to require
the mornings of a whole week to get
together enough matter to fill that
exiguous space of time. Thus one rea
sons upon the subject at first, but as
he thinks it over new thoughts fleck
In. Why Is It that the ordinary con
gregation grows Impatient If the ser
mon extends beyond half an hour? Is
It not because the discourse Is plati
tudinous? The thoughts It contains
are eminently safe and orthodox, of
course, but they are also threadbare.
The minister has used them a thousand
times before and long ere he began to
use them they were employed by bis
predecessors for centuries. He works
in old texts from the Bible. He calls
trite quotations from Shakespeare to
his aid.
Now nothing Illuminates a discourse
more than an apt quotation from the
Bible, but when the subject ts religion
and the Scripture Is necessarily the
warp and woof of It references to the
Bible naturally lose much of their
luster. Where all Is bright nothing
can shine out conspicuously unless It
Is very brilliant Indeed. The same rea
soning applies to Shakespeare. If the
minister could take time to look
through the plays and find something
fresh, all would be well, but If he waits
till Friday before setting pen to his
sermon he cannot take time. He must
quote lines that everybody knows by
heart If he quotes anrthlng. and of
coarse nothlnr-Js gained by It but
weariness.
Too many ministers make up their
sermons from convenient oooxs. iney
possess a. cyclopedia, of pathetic anec-
dotes, another of lovely poetical quota
tions, a third ef scriptural tetta ar
ranged according to subject matter.
When they get ready to write they
resort to these booka for the filling
of their discourse, contributing noth
ing themselves but what a physician
would call the connective tissue and
very little of that. Necessarily such a
sermon Is Insufferably dull. No won
der young people prefer a baseball
game or a picnic or an excursion on
the river. To attract them the minis
ter's message must be as fresh as the
leafy trees, as fragrant with grace and
wisdom as the flowers, as bright aa
the sunbeams. It canaot be all this ff
It Is hastily oast together from cyclo
pedias. The sermon which holds the
attention and compels the heart must
be as strong aa life Itself. A whole
week Is none too much time to give to
It. Perhaps a lifetime would be too
little.
Through his sermons the minister
exercises his greatest power upon the
destinies of men. Of course he influ
ences people by talking with them on
the street. He guides them by conver
sation In the parlor and so on, but all
that la trivial compared with the over
whelming effect of really great ser
mons. When the minister preaches he
can call to his aid the psychology of
the multitude. Men In crowds are dif
ferent creatures from men taken sing
ly. Alone the human being covers him
self with a shell. He Is alert, on his
guard. He erects defensive arguments
on every side. But when be Is 'noth
ing more than a unit among a thousand
others who crowd upon him and send
their vibrations through him his soul
lies open to the preacher's message
without hindrance. Thought drives
through the throng In resistless waves
and the persuasive power of words Is
multiplied a hundred fold. A great
crowd of people Is much more easily
led than a single person as a rule.
Hence the minister who neglects his
sermons throws over his greatest op
portunity to move the hearts of men.
Pastoral visits are all very well, but
they are mere scattering drops. The
sermon Is a downpour if the minister
is truly called and equal to his duty.
The Reverend Mr. Jowett does well
to spend six mornings on every sermon.
We wish he' might spend sixty. But
we do not urge all ministers to write at
the blush of dawn. Many of them can
accomplish more and better at mid
night or In the afternoon. The point
la that each is sacredly bound to choose
the time of day when he Is at his best
and brightest and consecrate It inflex
ibly to his sermon for the next Sunday.
If he falls to do so he feeds his congre
gation sour and soggy pancakes in
stead of the bread of life which is
their due.
THE r-PHIM. AND ITS KIODLK.
Some writers whose seal outruns
their knowledge a little, perhaps, speak
of Professor George Andrew RelJiner's
recent conclusion about the Great
Egyptian Sphinx as "solving the rid
dle of the ages." He has scarcely done
that By some red paint on Its ear
and the manner In which the hair is
arranged. Professor "Reisner positively
Identified the face of the Sphinx as
that of Chefren, or Khafre, as
Breasted calls him.
Khafre was the son of Dedefre and
reigned In the Second Dynesty, some
twenty-eight hundred years before the
Christian era. Fourteen hundred years
after Khafre's death one of his re
mote successors. Thutmose IV., cleared
away the sand which had accumulated
around the Sphinx and set up a stele
or pillar not far away from It on which
he made a rather vague mention of
Khafre. Later still some priests at
tached a huge granite architrave taken
from a neighboring temple of Osiris
to the breast of the Sphinx and In
scribed on It a similar suggestion that
the monster had been erected by
Khafre. From this scholars have
long been of the opinion that the face
waa a portrait of Khafre, or Chephren.
Professor Reisner has merely con
firmed a prevalent belief.
The remark that Professor Reisner
Is the first to determine definitely the
sex of the Sphinx figure Is nonsense.
It was the commonest thing In the
world for the ancient Egyptians to af
fix portraits of their kings to the
bodies of lions. Just as was done In the
case of the Great Sphinx. None of the
learned has supposed for many years
that the human part of the figure was
Intended to be female. Some of the
poets have occasionally spoken of the
Great Sphinx as "she." Emerson does
so In his famous poem, "The Sphinx
Is drowsy, her wings are furled, her
ear Is heavy, she broods on the world."
The error Is pardonable In a poet
since he is not expected to be much of
a savant. Shakespeare located Bo
hemia on the seacoast without re
proach and played fast and loose with
ny facts of history which refused to
conform to his needs. This Is a priv
ilege accorded to poets, though schol
ars must be more exact If they wish
to retain their reputation.
No doubt the notion that the Sphinx
was a female figure drifted out into
the world from Greece. The monster
whose riddle Oedipus solved really
was at least half woman, the rest of
her physical frame being a winged
lion. The myth of the Grecian Sphinx
Is supposed to have passed across the
Mediterranean from Egypt at a date
when the true significance of the great
statue had been forgotten. The active
Hellenic Imagination readily supplied
a meaning and composed a fable -to
correspond. The Grecian Sphinx was
a cruel monster who had devised a
riddle that nobody could solve. "What
creature Is that which goes on four
feet, two feet and three feet, having
but one voice, and when It has most
feet It is weakest?" Those who tried to
guess the riddle and failed were
devoured by the Sphinx, but when
Oedipus finally gave the right answer
she was so chagrined that she slew
herself. Oedipus answer, as every
schoolboy knows, was. "Man who in 1
childhood creeps on four supports. In
his prime walks erect on two feet and
In old age totters on a cane."
It was from this Grecian tale that
the phrase "riddle of the Sphinx" was
properly derived. Since there began
to be such a thing as scholarship the
Egyptian Sphinx never has been much
of a riddle. It was well known that
the lion's body signified the power and
ferocity of the Pharoahs, while as to
the face the only question was what
monarch It represented. By his dis
covery that the decoration belongs to
the time of Khafre, Professor Reisner
haa definitely confirmed the old rumor
that the portrait Is his. The figure,
which Is esteemed one of the wonders
of the world, stands near the entrance
of a splendid granite gateway leading
to the pyramid of Khafre. one of the
smaller and less nobly constructed of
the ancient piles. This gateway Is
often called "the temple of the
Sphinx." though there Is no true con-
nection.' between the two structures
except that they can be traced back
to the same king. From the gateway
there was an avenue leading to the
pyramid temple and the pyramid itself,
which was, of course, built for his
tomb.
The minute particulars of a bit of
red -paint and a lock of hair which
have enabled Professor Relaner to
Identify the face of the Sphinx remind
us of the enormous part which appar
ent trifles may play in the develop
ment of knowledge. Watt is said to
have arrived at his notion of the
economic value of steam power by
watching the flutter of a potlld when
the 'water waa boiling. Champollion
deciphered the mystic sj'mbcrLs on the
Rosetta Stone by noticing that some
of them, inclosed In rings, correspond
ed In place with Greek names on an
other aide of tho atone. This gave
him a clew which he had only to de
velop to translate the hieroglyphics
and found the great science of Orlen
tal history and literature. Of course.
It required a tremendous genius to use
the method which he conceived, but
the point Is that all his results, mag
nificent as they were, depended on a
single minute circumstance as trifling
aa a dab of red paint.
Science) has reached such a stage
now that discoveries hereafter made
are likely to follow from barely no
ticeable suggestions like those which
have proved so fruitful for Professor
Reisner. A distinguished savant has
said that scientific progress 'will
henceforth grow from measurements
taken in the sixth decimal place, which
will be very minute Indeed. Still we
must not be too sure that he is right.
Perhaps there are some fairly obvious
truths not yet noticed. Often the most
difficult things to see are those which
He In plain sight.
" PAIJt, PLEASURE AND HABIT.
In a little book on ethics which we
have been reading the following sen
tences occur among other bits of wis
dom: "The pursuit of pleasure Is the
persistent purpose of every Individual.
If he voluntarily undergoes a pain. It
is only to avoid greater pains. It Is
each individual's duty to promote his
own pleasure. If conduct promotes
pleasure, it is moral. If it induces
pain, it Is Immoral. Happiness is
morality. All men pursue happiness.
Therefore all men pursue morality.
Man is eager to gain the highest possi
ble happiness." '
These remarks do not all occur to
gether In the little book, which Is
called "Individual Sovereignty." They
are scattered here and there on sev
eral different pages, but since they re
inforce the same opinion we have ven
tured to gToup them together. They
read to us like bits of wisdom, not be
cause they are true, but because the
author in using them has followed a
great school of thinkers. It la always
safe to fight with a big army, and our
author displays wonderfully good sense
in doing so. The ethical party whoso
doctrine he preaches are known as the
"hedonists," a word from the Greek,
which signifies "pleasure worshipers,"
or something of that nature. They
hold that the pursuit of pleasure Is the
only proper, and Indeed the only possi
ble, occupation of mankind.
We are not disposed to deny that a
great many human beings pursue
pleasure to the best of their ability
and knowledge, but to say that they
do nothing else or that they seek "the
highest possible pleasure" Is to speak
like a simpleton. The truth of the
matter Is that when men do seek pleas
ure, which Is only rarely, they seek
the sort to which they are habituated.
Higher and keener pleasure may He at
their thresholds, but they neither know
nor care anything about It. If It were
displayed before them they would not
know what to do with it. We strive
only for the delights which we are used
to, and for the most part they are stu
pidly poor. They fall far below what
we might attain with the exercise of
very slight Intelligence and very mod
erate effort. Our author, whose name
Is Lorentz, YaJls into a blunder which
Is common to a large number of eth
ical writers. He overlooks the enor
mous power of habit upon human beings.
Most of our conduct Is habitual and
only semi-conscious. We do the
things we are In the habit of doing,
not because we expect either pain or
pleasure from them, but because we
did them yesterday and the day be
fore, and all through our lives. They
have become automatic. Some of
them are painful, like getting out of
bed at a fixed hour, but nevertheless
they are done by sheer force of habit
By suitable drill and discipline people
may be made to follow any line of
conduct whatever without the slight
est reference to its effect upon them
selves Individually. Everybody rec
ognizes this In the case of soldiers. At
first,- of course, they submit to the
severities of discipline through dread
of punishment very often, hut after
little time the discipline becomes au
tomatic They march, go hungry,
throw up entrenchments and rush into
battle without a thought of the pain
or pleasure which may flow from it,
but solely because they have been
trained to do It. A top spins because
it has beeri set spinning and thus also
does the soldier perform his duty if
he has been set spinning and thus also
does the soldier perform his duty If
h has been thoroughly disciplined.
"Theirs not to make reply; theirs not
to reason why; theirs but to do and
die." The nearer a man can be made
over Into a machine tne netter sol
dier he becomes as every drillmaster
will tell you. That Is the aim of the
rhythmic exercises to which the new
recruit Is subjected. Rhythm of all
sorts fascinates and subjugates us.
Keep It up long enough and we perish
when It ceases.
Nobody ever understood this subject
better than Confucius, the genius who
gave the Chinese their religion. When
he lived, about five hundred years be
fore the Christian era. China- was in a
state of turbulence. New ideas were
abroad. That girted people were
breaking the bonds of feudalism. In
vention was active. Printing, gunpow
der, the mariner's compass and other
pregnant devices had been discovered.
A new world was In sight. Confucius
hated Innovation. He worshiped the
good old ways. For him the wisdom
of the ancients was the only wisdom
there could ever be. So he asked him
self how to stay the tide of progress.
What could he do to put the soul of
the Chinese to sleep and keep It for
ever slumbering? He chose the method
exactly suited to his purpose and be
ing a man of almost supernatural per
sonal power he was able to Impose his
system on the country. It was a sys
tem of drill. It aimed at discipline
so thorough-going that no act of life,
little or big, should escape from It.
Birth, death, marriage, eating, visit
ing, everything under heaven became
a religious ceremony and must be done
by a strict ritual:
The effect :was beautiful la the ex-J
treme. The Intelligence of China un
der the influence of Confucius shut
up like a blossom at twilight. Five
hundred "millions of people went to
bed, mentalry speaking, and they have
staid in bed for twenty-five hundred
years. The consequences of Confu
cianism illustrate the power of habit
over marLkind on a grander scale than
has ever been seen elsewhere, but it
Is apparent everywhere and always.
It is not the love of pleasure or the
fear of pain which determines what a
man will do in the emergencies of his
life, but the habits he learned when he
was a child. This Is the rule. Of
course, there are exceptions to it, but
for any given individual they are rare.
Occasionally each of us does rise to the
point of actually seeking pleasure or
shunning pain, but in ninety-nine of
our acts out of every hundred we do
neither. We simply follow the auto
matic urgency of .habit without the
slightest reference to consequences.
Fes is being stormed by the rebels
again. Reports from Morocco by way
of Madrid state that the garrison has
been massacred and that the Sultan
has taken refuge in tho French con
sulate. Next to Central America or
Mexico, Morocco furnishes the world's
most dependable supply of war news.
It is a dull season when the bandits
fall to warm things up for the govern
ment or the French or Spanish fall to
have a few running fights with the
bandits. There are so many modern
Othellos in that troublesome land
that every other occupation is tame
and uninteresting by comparison with
that of conducting a revolution or in
surrection. There will never be much
else going on until some first-class
power takes full charge of the
country.
What's the matter with San Fran
cisco, the home and the headquarters
of art on the Pacific Coast? At an
auction sale of rare paintings, a col
lection valued at $75,000 brought but
$26,000. "The Plow Girl," by Millet,
with a market valuation of about $12.
000, was knocked down for $2100,
and a $10,000 Rosseau landscape sold
for $2000. Either the Bay City is in
a bad way financially or the Mac
Carthys, Tvletmoes, Furuseths and
kindred spirits who now make the city
famous have taught tho new San
Francisco that there Is "nothin' in
art." Colonel Trumbo, the owner of
the collection which was sold under
tho hammer at such ruinous rates, bid
in a few of the best pictures and they
will probably remain on the Coast.
Rebecca Lawson Tongue, who died
at the Tongue homestead in Washing
ton County a few days ago, was a pio
neer of Oregon. With her husband, An
thony Tongue, and their son, Thomas
H., she settled rfear the present town
of North Plains in 1859, all of the
country then being little more than a
beautiful, isolated wilderness. There
her husband died in 1904. From
thence their only son Thomas H.
Tongue went out to make his place
among the citizens of the state as a
lawyer and Representative in Con
gress, and there Rebecca Tongue died
last week, at the age of 87 years. Of
sturdy fiber and a generous mind and
mold, Mrs. Tongue left the stamp of
a fine personality upon the genera
tion that knew her.
The State Board of Forestry has
decided to make war upon the pine
beetles that are killing or seriously
injuring large areas of pine timber In
Eastern Oregon. The pest Is known to
be exceedingly prolific, voracious and
tenacious of life. The Federal Govern
ment will co-operate with the state in
Summer campaign against this tim
ber pest In the hope of saving much
valuable timber that Is menaced by it.
To the uninitiated, thinking of the
lofty perch upon which these beetles
work, their numbers and fecundity, the
task of exterminating them seems a
hopeless one. The sixth sense with
which the naturalist is accredited,
however, will no doubt find ways and
means to effect this purpose.
There Is nothing unreasonable in the
request made by women to the County
Court that men be prohibited
from smoking during business hours
and transactions before that body.
Women have a perfect right to ask
this, since to many of them the odor
of tobacco smoke is extremely repul
sive, and to be forced to endure It dur
ing the regular transaction of business
that calls them to the Courthouse now
and again is a real hardship. While
smokers may not realize this. It is true
and It calls for Just consideration.
The theory that everything in this
world Is of some use is supported by
the statement of a Pullman College
professor, that stale beer can be made
effective in luring cut-worms to de
struction. The odor of the beverage
attracts them and when used to mix
a mash of bran and parls green makes
certain end of them. A useful dis
covery certainly and one that should
find favor even with beer-drinkers.
Among appointments of Oregon
delegates to the National Peace Con
ference will be noted the names of
Henry McGinn and William Galvani,
both of whom are excellent fighters.
It Is part of the stress of present
day life that people must encounter
many dangers such as the bursting
of a tank car of gasoline at St. Louis
yesterday.
The suburbanite who "farms" an
acre, working in the city the while,
needs more than a wifo to make the
Job a success.
The cut-worm, like the early morn
ing swamper, has a liking for stale
beer, according to a Pullman bug
sharp.
It is devoutly to be hoped that the
erstwhile Mrs. Burke-Roche will soon
get a husband who will stay on the
Job.
The Informer Is a detestable creat
ure, though often working for a good
cause.
Ttestrlctcd.
The trees can scarcely move their limbs;
The murmur of the breeze
As o'er the chilly sky it skims.
Is choked into a wheeze;
And icy bonds are everywhere; -
The duvs that come and go.
That oncf, were gladsome and so fair
Are tiailng now and slow.
No more In dancing rhythms pass
The hours all garlanded;
The merriment so free, alas.
la for the present fled.
And cynics now assert
Dame'Nature has. at fashion's call,
Put on a hobble skirt!
t-CEVafibinston, p, C .Star. .
TOPICAL VERSE
The Hat Parade.
The
wondrous,
swell, church
hat
parade
W"e see today.
And here are hats of every shade
In proud array;
Hats fearfully and strangely made
Upon display.
We see as many kinds of hats
As one could wish.
And each hat hides sufficient rats.
To fill a dish;
Also displaying birds or bats,
Or even fish.
Kansas City Journal.
Magazine Girls.
All women are lovely and radiantly fair
In the magazine pages today.
They all have a mop of luxuriant hair.
In .the magazine pages today.
There's not one with freckles or noses
askew;
Or teeth that protrude, as some real
girls' do,
There isn't a blemish on girls that we
view
In the magazine pages today.
There's not one too pudgy or not one
too thin.
In the' magazine pages today;
Nor one who's Just losing her tortoise
shell pin.
In the magazine pages today.
'Twixt shirtwaist and belt there Is
never a gap.
Or a tear in the silk that is lining her
wrap.
And her gloves never lack a pearl but
ton or snap. w
In the magazine pages today.
She doesn't wear pink when she ought
to wear blue,
In the magazine pages today;
And she isn't run dowp at the heel of
ner snoe, ,
In the magazine pages today.
lou never can see when she hasn t a
hat
How much Is rpal hair and how much
of it s rat, .
It's only In life that we see things like
that.
Not in magazine pages today.
Petroit Free Press.
Drawbacks.
There Is no rose
Without Its cruel thorn.
No pleasure glows
Without some grief to fill us.
In words of bliss
There still lurk tones of scorn
In every kiss
Hides some doggoned bacillus!
Milwaukee News.
"War" In Mexico.
We were on the fields of battle.
We could view them from our train.
Where the insurrectos bled and fought
in the correspondent's brain.
They were coming from the mountains.
They were coming from the plain.
Victoriously marching onward
In the correspondent's brain.
There was smoke on every hillside
Where the thin tortilla roasts.
And the plains were. filled with
corpses.
And at night we saw their ghosts.
For the earth was red as ochre
Where the blood fell down like rain.
And the towns were smoking ruins
in the correspondent's brain.
Every palm tree bore its bayonet.
And the cacti a thousand spears,
The onions were peeled for battle.
The potatoes' eyes were filled with
tears.
All nature was convulsed
As the tropic sun began to wane.
Everything was hell and chaos
In the correspondent's brain.
But the fighting hosts will vanish
Like sun-defeated mist.
For they are only phantom armies,
And never will be missed
If the bold and daring heroes
Upon the wild Chihuahua plain
Will sheath their blood-red sabres
In the correspondent's brain.
Arthur Stillwell, in Boston Herald,
Can Feel It.
The ladles to the monster hats
Are patiently resigned.
For, wearing them, they know that they
Have something on their mind.
Ktcliange.
The Tips.
See the people after tips!
Wanting tips!
Cabmen, busmen, depot porters, cabin
stewards on the ships!
How they crowd you and they rush
you.
How they shine you and they brush
you
Till your hand all weary dips
In your pocket for the dime
They are after all the time
Though they'd bray you in a mortar
If they thought they'd get a quarter!
O, the tips, tips, tips, tips.
Tips, tips, tips!
Mr. Poe wrote of the bells
But hotels
Of these latter days had wrunj a cry
of anguish from his lips.
First the stately carriage sentry.
Then the crown prince .n the entry.
And the boy who grabs your grips,
And the boy who brings the ink,
Or the water you would drink.
And the boy who checks your gar
ments All of these hope for their torments
Many tips, tips, tips, tlos.
Tips, tips, tips!
Poe wrote verses that appeared
Rather weird
On the bells not bellboys, brother!
O, that he could write another
Clanging poem on the way
Tips are smilingly forced from us ev
evy day!
How we creep to bed all nervous
With no lullaby to hush uh
Lest -some other bent on sarviee
Shall come in and wildly brush us!
How we marvel at the speed with
which our pocket money slips
In the tips that we are giving
There's the highest cost of living!
O. the tips!
Wilbur D. Nesbit in Chicago Post.
Spring Arithmetic.
It was the busy hour of 4,
When from a city hardware store
Emerged a gentlemam who bore
1 hoe,
1 spade,
1 wheelbarrow.
From thence our hero promptly, went
Into a seed establishment
And for these things his money spent:
1 peck of bulbs,
1 Job lot of shrubs,
1 quart of assorted seeds.
He has a garden 'under way.
And if he's fairly lucky, say.
He'll have about the last of May
1 squash vine,
1 egg plant, '
1 radish.
Washington (D. C.) Herald.
Take AVarning, Mr. Man.
He took 'em off, .
Alus! loo soon;
His grave it will
Be green In June.
-r-BlruJngham Age-Herald,
Scraps and Jingles
. Leone Caaa Baer.
Man in a restaurant sent back the
saddle-of-mutton he had ordered be
cause it had a leathery taste.
My idea of an "impressionist" Is the
burglar who takes a wax model of
the keyhole.
see
It has Just been brought to light that
Euclid was the author of the first problem-play.
e e
Whether the system of physical cul
ture for school children, which includes
simple drills with broomsticks, will
ever lead to a recrudescence of hus
band or wife-beating time alone will
show.
e e
Maybe "the hairs of our heads are
all numbered." So are automobiles.
and I've noticed that the numbering
process doesn't seem tq. prevent either
from going fast.
e e
From Kalama comes a tale of woe.
Miss Calamity Step-and-feteh-lt, the
cultured and sweet writer lady, says
she has "run acrost the meanest man."
She answered his advertisement to
send 10 cents for a poetic license.
The difference between a dress and
a creation is simply a matter of
figures.
(After
Charles Kingsley quite a
ways.)
Be freakish, my girl, and let who will be
clever.
Wear harem skirts and clothes that fool
ish seem.
So shall your life as matron, maid or widow
Be one rand Scream!
e e
Apropos of the forthcoming canine
exhibition, I want to know if "heavenly
dogs" are skye-terriers?
e s
A local fish market flaunts the face
tiously worded p'laoard: Salmon cheap
today, no deception, weighed In its own
scales.
e e
The most unreasonable woman I ever
heard of has just fired her nurse girl
for letting 6-year-old Leander bite his
tongue.
e
Newspaper account tells of a woman
in a burning building who snored to
such effect that a fireman discovered
her and dragged her to safety. It may
be mean to say so, but a woman witli
a snore like that should have been
permitted to slumber on till the fire
was over.
see
The open season for office-boy-dead
grandmother jokes Is now on.
e
When a woman cannot diagnose all
her ailments, imaginary and real, she
refers to them as temperament.
e e
Ain't the Goulds about the niarrying
est folk you ever heard tell on?
Acrobat at the Orpheuni this week
would do wonderfully well in the re
publics of Central America, inasmuch
as he makes some dozen revolutions
in a minute. ,
e e e
I like to read the details of matri
monial mishaps just to learn how
miserable other people are.
e e
Nearly eight days have gone by and
not one word about Harry Thaw's
status in the bughouse. And what
has become of the Dorothy Arnold
paragraph ers?
e a a
Woman signing herself "Anxious"
writes to ask how to get stout. Only
way I know is to ask the bartender.
Some family liquor stores sell it too.
e e
A suburbanite who bungalows and
raises chickens on the side boasts that
he has some bipeds imported from
Italy. Sent me a present of one and I
had it cooked. Now I fully believe his
assertions. It was one of the ancient
lays of Rome.
I have come to the conclusion that
exemplary family men are those who
know enough to find good jobs and
aTOod bosses. -e
e
Voices of Spring the Gentle.
"Hi-yl-massacre the empire!"
"Your bonnet Is a love. Is It your
old one fixed over?"
"I went and took off my flannels and
caught an. awful cold."
"I wouldn't think of cleaning house
till after the Rose Festival for I'd
have it all to do over again."
"I'm just crazy over green onions,
but I don't dare eat 'em. I'm going out
tonight."
"I caught 98 fine trout in half an
hour yesterday." Etc., etc
e e
The art of dodging the altar is get
ting more and more difficult for mere
man, now that women are learning to
distinguish between a stogie and an
invincible.
e e e
Most of us will take issue with Pro
fessor Putnam, of Harvard, who goes
on record to say that blondes are rap
Idly disappearing. The Sign of the
Golden Fleece will continue -to flaunt
as long as peroxide, musical comedy
and big black picture hats with willow
plumes are in existence.
Half a Century Ago
From The Oregonian. April 23, 1861.
Our Washington correspondent, writing
from that city on the 20th of March
nays that all the land patents connected
with the titles to land in Portland were
issued, except Mr. Lownsdale's. Mr. Cof
fin's was started on the 20th ult., for this
place. The townsite entry patent has
been placed on the record of the General
Land Office. Mr. Aineworth haa gone to
Boston. Mr. Pengra and Dr. Thompson
probably started home on the 1st of
April. C. S. Drew and General Wads
worth expected to remain In Washington
for the Summer.
The Pacific brought up a lot of Cali
fornia lager beer, which was to be placed
on sale at a public house in this town.
The home brewers got extremely lndig-'
nant about it, and exposed several kegs
of lager opposite the steamship landing
for gratuitous consumption. The drink
ers about town availed themselves of the
opportunity as long as they could hold a
drop.
Love by the Clock.
At 8 P. M., while pa and ma
Helped entertain with sis.
Both John and Mary in distant seats
Were far apart like this.
At 9 P. M., as pa withdrew
And sought his room upstairs;
At 10 P. M., mamma decamped.
And then, ye gods! what bliss!
Those lovers sat till nearly one
Aboutascloseasthis.
er-Xew. Orleans Picayune,
I
7