6
THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAX, PORTLAND, APRIL. 17. 1910.
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?OKTXAjrr, SrT)AT, APRIL 17, 1910.
BIRTHDAYS OS1 FLEETIXO TIME.
On April 3, 1806, the first white
man saw the site of future Portiind.
That -was Just 104 years ago. I was
Captain William Cla;k, who,swhiIe
Captain Meriwether Lewis waited near
where Troutdale on the Columbia
River now is, explored the Willamette
River (or Multnomah) as far as Swan
Island and Columbia ""University. In
1S10 the Winships attempted the first
.white settlement in Oregon at Oak
Point on the Columbia River, and ,
next year the Aetor party founded
Astoria. On May 2, 1843, Americans
organized at Champoeg their first gov
ernment on the Pacific Coast. June
19. 1846, the United States fixed the
international boundary between Ore
gon and Canada, by treaty with Great
Britain. So that progress has many
birthdays if wo but stop to think of
them.
There are a number of pioneers be
longing to nJs early period, who have
not yet passed, yet will go soon, and
also have birthdays. These men and
women are sometimes honored as
Ben Simpson and F. X. Matthieu have
been recently, and as their life runs
out probably more of them will be
remembered. John Mlnto, of Salem,
18.44, is one of the most conspicuous.
Among others of the same pioneer
year are J. C. Nelson, of Newberg;
J. H. Hawley, of Monmouth; T. M.
Ramsdell, of Portland; Dr. T. V. B.
Embree, of Dallas; W. D. Stillwell, of
Tillamook, and Green L. Rowland, of
Xorth Yamhill. At Forest Grove is
William Abernethy, 1840, and at La
Fayette, James and W. C. Hembree,
1843. At Brownsville lives James
Blakeley, 1846, at very advanced age.
Of the year 1845 survive Solomon
Durbin, of Salem; C. C. Bozorth, of
Ridgeficld, Wash.; W. F. Helm and
Charles Bolds, of Portland. Besides
the men, are honored pioneer women,
in even larger number, and equally
rntitled to mention. It is kinder to
remember these pioneers while they
are living than to follow after their
departure with flowers.
There are many anniversaries in
Oregon, of events and of men and
women, which the younger generation
can fittingly pause to mark. School
teachers throughout the state would
render a worthy tribute by bringing
to attention of the children anniver
saries of loeal and state-wide interest.
AX OR-EXAMIXED GIBJU
A Pittsburg girl, Mildred Stewart,
who committed suicide for fear she
would fail to pass her examinations,
carried to its logical conclusion a ten
dency which is manifest in almost ev
ery high school in the country. Ex
amination day is a time of terror. Its
shadow is projected forward over the
entire school term. .Every branch is
Ktudied, not for its inherent interest
. or value, but for the sake of the ex
n ruination marks it will yield. Stu
dents do not exercise their free intel
ligence upon their studies. Their only
purpose is to stuff their memories
with such facts and arguments, all
carefully cut and dried, as will be
useful on examination day. Whether
Ihey will be useful or not in later
life is of no consequence. The wor
ship of the examination idol keeps up
R feverish excitement throughout the
whole school year which, as the dread
rrisis approaches, develops into a per
fect frenzy of anxiety. The best stu
dents are the ones who suffer most
from the examination horror. Whether
Ihey pass or not. the ordeal is suc
ceeded by a reaction which often pros
ti'ates them. Many are injured for
life by the prolonged nervous strain.
There are some arguments for con
11 nuance of the examination plague
which appear more or less plausible.
ut none of them will stand investi
gation. The common belief that the
ability to spout out a flood of facts
on examination day is a valuable prep.
aration for the exigencies of life is
purely delusive. Life presents no exi
gencies which demand ability of this
kind. What life requires of us is
rapid judgment in emergencies. The
power to apprehend new situations is
valuable, and likewise the ability to
estimate the characters of our fellow
men. None of these capacities is culti
vated by the examination. mania. On
the contrary, all of them are dwarfed
by. it. The boys and girls who have
passed through the modern educa
tional mill,, with its periodical spasms
of ejecting all they know upon white
paper, are not by any means so well-
-v informed as were their predecessors
. . of twenty years ago. They do not so
well understand the common facts of
life. They are less curious about cur
rent events of importance. They take
less interest in books and public ques
tions. Part at least of this unfortu
nate situation must . be ascribed to
the deadly influence of the examina
tion fetish, which acts as an opiate
upon the youthful intelligence, -while
at the same time it unduly stimulates
the nervous system. It dulls the mind
and slays the body with the same
stroke.
The tendency of students to escape
from the dire examination fiend by
organizing debates and oratorical con
tests is hopeful. It promises to be
very helpful if it is permitted to live,
but the school machine is not very
friendly to it. One county superln
tendent announces that he fears the
debates will take the students' atten
tion away from their examinations
Of course they will, and that. is pre
cisely the reason why sensible people
welcome them with shouts of joy. We
must invent some way to make educa
tion less -mechanical before It will be
worth the time and money it costs
At present some of the 'I-est educated
youths in the country never saw the
inside of a schoolroom.
DEALING WITH RAIIJtOADS.
There's a reason for ..-.; noise about
grabbing" of streets in Portland, and
the reason is found in the city's ex
perience. Railroads and other indi
viduals find it no longer easy to obtain
franchises or permits or relinqulsh-
men's of streets for the cheap asking.
Biggest of all the grabs was that of
streetcar franchises in 1902-3, which
the possessors later sold to the present
owners for millions of dollars. A gas
franchise was obtained the same way
and recently sold for a large sum of
money to Eastern investors. The pub
lic levee, at foot of Jefferson street,
was grabbed by a railroad for a ter
minal. Streets in various parts o the
city were vacated for benefit of one
person and another. Jione of these
concessions yielded a: ' part of their
value to the city. It is natural for the
public to revolt against these gifts and
to demand that they shall cease. The
railroads that desire concessions for
bridge approaches and terminal uses
now find city authorities, responding to
the public demand.
In this matter the city should treat
with the railroads '. t a reasonable and
conciliatory spirit. The railroads ask
for a good deal r -.d should bo re
quired to reciprocate correspondingly.
But there shoul." not Te an unreason-
ng reaction from the old era. of free
gifts. Protest should not go so far as
to deny the O. R. & N. use of a part
of an unuE?d street whereon to rest a
pier for a bridge that the city com
pels the railroad to build, as at the
east end of the projected Oregon-street
bridge.
Between the two extremes in this
matter, as in others, is a rational basis
of understanding and mutual benefit
It is this basis that city autUorities
have set themselves to find In l-egotia-
tions with the railroads for cession to
them of putlic Itnd. Their efforts
will be Judged by results. Certain
it is that no genc-ous gifts by the city
will be tolerated. It is equally impor
tant that jingoes shall not have the
whole say" on the side of the public.
KING KDWARD Til.
The story told of King Edward's
weakened health is a familiar one in
the annals of the house of Hanover.
It is alleged that he has fallen - into
a state of melancholy which causes
him to shun society, ignore his kingly
duties and court solitude, even to the
exclusion from his daily life of mem
bers of his own family. Whether this
is the beginning of the end, which
will be neurosis or clouded mental
vision, can only be conjectured.- Time
alone can tell. ' The loyal sons of
Britain wherever they ma be join
with our own people in the hope that
melancholy, the scourge of Edward's
house, will not overtake the present
head of the British Empire.
The offspring of a long line of con
sanguineous marriages, the children
of Queen "Ictoria and the Prince Con
sort were nevertheless almost without
exception of exceedingly bright men
tality during their earlier years. This
was especially true of the older mem
bers perhaps it should be said the
two elder daughters of the family
the Princess Royal, afterward for
many years Crown Princess of Ger
many, and for a few short months
known as the Empress Frederick,
and Princess Alice, later Grand Duch
ess of Hesse. The birth of King Ed
ward came between that of these two
highly gifted sisters, and though an
engaging and amiable youth, his mind
was less brilliant than that of either
of them, being more like thbse of his
brothers, of whom there were three,
and his younger sisters, also three in
number. Of the four sons of the late
Queen Victoria the youngest was an
epileptic from his birth and died in
his early manhood. The, others, in
cluding kiiir isawara, were average
young Britons in their youth, some
what wild according to the standard
of young men of idleness and wealth
in their early manhood, and phleg
matic, mediocre and apoplectic in
their advancing years. Of the four
sons. King Edward and Arthur, Duke
of - Connaught, survive. The report
that the former, at the age of 67
years, has become a victim of melan
choly, foreshadowing mental inac
tivity, is not surprising in conjunction
with the facts of his lineage and the
incidents of his immediate family
history- His great grandfather, George
III, was mindless throughout the later
years of his long life; his grand
father, the Duke of Kent, was one of
the most stolid, stupid and gross of
the many sons of that sluggish mon
arch. But Edward was exceptionallv
fortunate in his own father, who as
consort and adviser of Victoria the
Good, exercised the benign influence
of a man of sensibility and culture
upon his home and family. The early
death of the Prince Consort was hot
alone a blow to the British Nation
Occurring at the time that it did
at- the beginning of our Civil War
it was a calamity keenly felt by our
own Nation. In a domestic sense it
was Irreparable, clouding as it did for
many years the life of the late Queen
Victoria, and depriving her sons of
the wisest of counselors.
Beyond this untoward fact lies the
Intermingling of consanguineous blood
in the veins of the royal family of
Great Britain, a heritage that has
cropped out In physical weakness all
along the line; in- mental mediocrity
that has been conspicuous in all of
the sons and in many of the daugh
ters of the late Queen and Prince Con
sort, and of the relatively early death
of a number of their children. The
cloud- still hovers to some extent over
the line. There was a break in the
consanguineous relation when King
Edward married Alexandra "The
Sea King's daughter from over the
sea." as sung by the poet-laureate of
that day. The present Prince of
Wales, King Edward's only living son,
is," however, married to a cousin of the
second blood. But two of the King's
daughters Victoria, Duchess of Fife,
and Maud, Queen of Norway mar
ried "out of the family." In the off
spring of these marriages -especially
of. the former lies the hope of a
sturdy race of kings for Great Brit
ain in more remote years. In the
meantime. King Edward has no doubt
many years yet to live and, nominally,
to reign. His immediate progenitors,
with the exception of his father (who
was a victim of typhoid fever and
died in middle life), "died at the top,"
but survived physically to a great age,
while his mother, "Victoria the Good,"
lived well past four-fcore years, re
taining her mental faculties to the
last, though sorrowful in spirit, be
cause of the frequent' family afflic
tions which she had suffered by
death.
King Edward belongs to tl ; pres-
ent. He is many degrees removed
from the conditions that prevailed in
the time of his great grandfather and
the immediate successors of the 1-tter
upon the throne. Three generations
of national culture and world-wide
progress intervene between him and
the last of the Georges. Well and
carefully trained, through the tutelage
of his mother's long reign in the
duties of his position, in close touch
with his subjects, yijoying all of the I
honors of his kingly office without l
being burdened with its grave respon
sibilities, there is every reason to hope
that the King's mental vigor will not
decline in advance of his body, and
that notwithstanding the heavy handi
cap of heredity that he carries, he
will live to a good old age. In the en
joyment of mental and physical
health.
(OMKKMXO WE20LER.
Whether Wezler is a murderer or
not, he Is the kind of a man who
easily falls into crime of almost any
sort.. His matrimonial relations have
been of that vague, irregular variety
which means little more than the
pairing of the birds in Spring. His
occupations have not tended to give
him a settled place In the world or
cause him to feel much responsibil
ity as a citizen. His habit of taking
chance acquaintances into . his confi
dence and discussing with; them his
family woes and personal secrets be
speaks a weak Intelligence. His fre
quent changes of occupation indicate
uncertain purpose and feeble volition.'
He belongs to the flotsam type of hu
man being which never accomplishes
any good in the world and is apt to
bring trouble upon everybody else. His
wife must be esteemed happy to have
secured a divorce from him before he
had completely wrecked her life. It is
doubly fortunate that the courts gave
her the custody of their children.
Wezler's morbid taste, -which led
him to keep the picture of his dead
child on his bureau, does not indicate
any constant affection for his family.
Probably it was merely .an effort to
make himself interesting to chance
visitors. It provided a topic for pa
thetic conversation and gave him an
opening for telling how much he pitied
himself. More interesting than Wez
ler himself is the question how it
comes that we have so many men of
his character in the world. Of course
they are born with a predisposition to
worthlessness, but why are they not
moulded by the schools, the churches
and the Sunday schools and their na
tive trend turned to better things?
What else are these esteemed institu
tions for? If Wezler had been brought
up under a thorough and relentless
system of manual training, had he
been compelled to work hard at a use
ful occupation for a reasonable num
ber of hours dally from his boyhood
up, is it credible that he would now
have been suspected of murdering his
mother-in-law?
LIGHT ox cossrsiPTiox.
The saying of the evolutionists that
all species are continually in danger
of reversion to primitive types, is
glaringly Illustrated by the proneness
of modern "cranks" to mingle relig
ion and medicine. The earliest priests
were medicine men. The person who
controlled the communications be
tween man and his maker was also
the healer of disease. He was in a
most advantageous position to con
quer the ills that flesh is heir to, be
cause he had at his disposal all the
power of the- infinite.
Now, our healers of one sort and
another are reverting to the position
of the original medicine man and
priest. They depend for their cures,
not upon physical laws and material
remedies, but upon the intervention
of the occult which they invoke under
various names, but always with the
same intent. The underlying reason
for this reversion to the primitive may
be creditable to our intelligence or it
may not. It may signify that there
really is some healing virtue in the
hidden forces of the world; or it may
signify that man is incurably silly and
ever disposed to turn away from com
mon sense to the vain dreams of the
imagination.
Two little books, which have - re
cently been received by The Orego
nian, exemplify as 'well as anything
could the scientific and the religious,
or rather superstitious, methods of
treating diseases. The particular ail
ment which these books deal with is
consumption, now commonly known
by the more learned name of tubercu
losis. The first book, by Dr. Woods
Hutchinson, is rigorously scientific.
It sticks closely to the facts, holds out
no false hopes and directs the patient
to seek his cure by resorting to mate
rial means and rational methods?. The
other; by a Chicago doctor named
Keyes, and entitled "The Riddle of
Life and Health," begins with a far
rago about Adam's fall and proceeds
with an irritating mixture of scrip
ture texts and medical directions to
.the end. Dr. ICeyes we assume that
he uses the title "doctor" rightfully
has in some way got into his head
the idea that most of our physical ills
arise from the failure t eat enough
fats and cils. According to his no
tion, Adam's fall consisted in devour
ing a dish prepared by Fve under the
insidious directions of the devil with
out any grease. From the moment
when Adam, swallowed it, we were all
lost. It was this terrible crime which
"brought death into the world, with
all our woes and loss of Eden." Had
Adam continued to rlive on grease, as
the Lord originally designed, we
should all have been immortal.
Where the grease came from, Dr.
Keyes does not reveal, but it may be
supposed that all the trees in the gar
den, except the forbidden" one, bore
candles and machine oil. "The powers
which constitute life in man," declares
Dr. Keyes, "depend upon a fat or oil
exchange. The curse of the human
race today is the curse of Adam in
breaking the first food laws" that
is. in eating a dish which was devoid
of grease. "The greatest violation of
food laws is the hab: . of not eating
fats," he says in another place, and
again: "You will find it an invari
able rule that all healthy, old people
eat and assimilate a large amount of
fat," either directly or indirectly.
According to Dr. Keyes, consump
tion, like every other disease, gets its
hold on us because we do not con
sume enough grease in our food
When the .ailment :.as made some lit
tle progress it becomes Impossible for
the stomach to digest encugh fat food
to assure recovery. We must, there
fore, help it out by injecting oil under
the skin. This grand discovery will
not only cure tuberculosis, but it is
sovereign against lerrosy, neuralgia,
chronic skin diseases and rheuma
tism. In fact, "oil is the body's nat
ural serum for the prevention and
cure of disease." Now, there is just
enough truth at the bottom of these
ravings to make them dangerous.
In his lucid and instructive new
book, "The Conquest of Consump
tion," Dr. Woods Hutchinson empha
sizes the truth that our only safe
guards against- this dread disease are
pure air, sunshine, rest and nourish
ing food. If Wc possess these advan
tages to begin with, we are safe from
its attack. If the malady has fas
tened upon us, still by proper regimen
there is good hope of recovery up to
the very last stages. Dr. Hutchinson
classifies the remedial agents for con
sumption in the following order:
"Food, fresh air, healthy houses,
shorter hours of work, longer sleep,
good wages and more play."
It will - be noticed that, like Dr.
Keyes. Dr. Hutchinson places food
first, but there ends the resemblance
between the two physicians. The dif
ference between a charlatan and a
man of science is that the former Is
forever seeking a panacea, while the
other recognizes that complex effects
depend upon complex causes and does
not expect any single remedy to ac
complish everything. Dr. Hutchinson
ranges the food proper for a human
being, consumptive or healthy, in sev
eral classes, x he first i.nd most im
portant is meat, though not necessar
ily fat meat. The next Is sugar, which
he deems more essential than oil of
any kind. Fat comes third in the
list and the best form of it, he thinks,
is butter. It is only, fourthly that he
mentions starch, which o many have
lauded lately, in the form of rice, as
the perfect food. Dr. Hutchinson has
but a poor opinion of rice. He in
forms us that the peoples which live
upon It, such as the Hindoos and Jap
anese, suffer . more than any others
from tuberculosis.
JtTBGE WTLXIAMS AM) THE "LASDAC
LET." S
Several Eastern newspapers we have
seen speak of "the landaulet incident"
in the life of Attorney-General Will
lams. Heads -of departments, only,
then had carriages, provided by the
United States. The Attorney-General
had his carriage, long before Judge
Williams came to the office, and has
had his carriage ever since. Every
other member of the Cabinet the
same. Now, th head of every one
of the countless bureaus has his auto
mobile. . And there just now has been
a. row about a' new auto for the
Speaker of the House, raised by Dem
ocrats and Insurgents who wish to
vent their spite against Joe Cannon.
Judge Williams cared as, little for a
carriage or "landaulet" as any man
who ever lived. He could walk, or
take a horsecar. But the roar that
was raised abiut the carriage of the
Attorney-General, in .his time, was tre
mendous. Yet the carriaga was at
the disposal of the head of the depart
ment, long before Williams came to
the office. It has been at the disposal
of the head of the department ever
since. Recently it has been changed
in common with all the rest of the
official vehicles to the far- more ex
pensive automobile.
An insensate partisan and dema
gogic spirit struck at Judge Williams
in this matter. Everything is deemed
fair In politics, of courae. Represent
ative Joseph Wilson, of Oregon, - had
died before the middle of his term;
and J. W. Nesmlth, formerly Senator,
had been chosen at a special election
to fill ut the unexpired term. Nes-
mith's election was due to the univer
sal disgust that followed the discovery
of the - facts in the life of John H.
(Hippie) Mitchell; Nesmith's hatred
of Williams was extreme. It arose
from difference of t.mper and of tern,
perarqent, aggravated and intensified
by the course of Tilliams on recon
struction measures, and by rivalries in
politics in Oregon Nesmith was chief
among those who talked about "the
landaulet" and other things. He
gave the gossiping correspondents at
Washington the choicest of their mor
sels about th carriage- and about the
family affairs of the Attorney-General
in Oregon. Here was the Attorney
General of the United States, riding
about In a carriage at the expense of
the toiling millions of the country; .
the speaker had known the time
when this uune proud and haughty o
ficlal had been "floundering through
the muddy road.; of Oregon on the
hurricane deck of a mule, an animal
that, as John Randolph had said, had
neither pride of ancestry nor hope of
posterity." It would be unbecoming
in The Cregonian to repeat other
things then said ; but there was a para
graph in the "anecdota" about Judge
Williams in The Oregonian of April 5
(next day after his death) which will
throw light on this subject if any
one cares to turn back to it.
A IXHilCAT., MAYOK.
Topeka. Kansas, is blessed with a
law which forbids all labor for pay
on Sunday. Many other cities enjoy
the possession of similar laws, but
they are prevented from being ineon
venient by a Judicious system of non
enforcement. The municipalities com
bine the satisfaction which the con
sciousness of a righteous law imparts
with the liberty which ignores its ex
alted provisions altogether. Thus both
the spiritual and the carnal man are
pleased. But Topeka was not satis
fied with this easy-going arrangement.
The people of that rigorously right
eous town demanded that their Sun
day law should be enforced. Natur
ally, they expected that enforcement
would go as far as the theaters, 11
braries, art galleries and saloons, and
there stop. Pious sentiment almost
invariably lumps books, pictures and
gin together with play acting as un
mitigated evils, on Sunday at least,
and does not rest until they are for
bidden. It did this in Topeka. and
then sat down to enjoy the blessed
serenity of a conscience which is
aware of duty well done.
Unfortunately for the peace of
mind ef the elect, Topeka has a Mayor
of a singularly logical turn of mind.
He took the extraordinary view of
the Sunday law that when it says
"labor for pay" it means labor for
pay, and proceeded to extend its ban
over other things besides the librar
ies, art galleries and theaters. "Does
not a preacher labor for pay, when he
stands in his pulpit and preaches?" in
quires this pragmatical Mayor. "Does
not the church choir sing for pay?
Does not the man who plays the or
gan work his fingers for pay? Nay,
the very janitor of the church, does
he 3t labor for pay?" Of course
there is but one' answer to these im
pertinent questions. The preacher
certainly has a higher object than
the mere accumulation of money In
his lucubrations. He would save
souls, as well as dollars. And yet,
were the dollars not forthcoming he
would in the majority of cases forget
his solicitude for souls and seek some
other occupation. Thus reasons the
sadly backslidden Mayor of Topeka,
and following out the logic of his
heathenish brain he has announced
that if he is compelled by devout pub
lic opinion to. close the theaters on
Sunday, he will close the churches,
too.
Of course, there is a nice point of
law involved here. The question will
arise, when the preachers are haled
into the, police court, whether or not
they really "labor" in emitting their
sermons. To be sure, their tongues
are occupied more or less actively
during the period of delivery, but we
do not apprehend that this alone
would subject them to the penalties
of the statute. The essential point
will be whether or not their brains
can be said to work. This delicate
inquiry will naturally be left to the
Topeka juries to decide, and it would
be rash for an outsider to seek to an
ticipate their verdict. Judging from
what takes place in some other towns,
however, one would guess that the
Topeka churches will not be closed on
the ground that the preachers "labor"
on Sunday. (
James A. Waymire, dead in Califor
nia, was well known in Oregon, in the
early days. Left an orphan, he lived
with his uncle, S. M. Gilmore, of Yam
hill County, prominent in t:.e pioneer
life of Oregon, and a member of the
Legislature of 1860, that elected Baker
and Nesmith. Young Waymire was
among the first in Oregon to take up
the study and practice of shorthand
writing; he became private secretary
to Governor Gibbs in 1863, and studied
law with success. About 1864 he mar
ried Virginia Chrisman, in Yamhill. A
faw years later he went to California,
where he practiced law and was elect
ed Superior Judge. He was very ac
tive In behalf of the gold standard
and the election of McKinley in 1896.
"The Harriman interests" seem to
have postponed developme-t work In
Oregon too long for their own good.
Now, they have to fight for everything.
Yet they might havecontrolled every
thing. Never would "the Hill inter
ests" have entered Oregon, If "the
Harriman Interests" had been alive to
the situation and opportunity. Now,
there is feverish haste to counteract
the competitive effort. The controll
ing mind of "the Harriman inter
ests" was badly advised by lieutenants
and subordinates, who didn't know
Oregon. Yet in the long run it may
prove of advantage to Oregon to have
been forced to submit to the delay
that has brought in a great rival.
Senator Aldrich's ill-health, it is
said, will compel him to retire from
the Senate. Some of his enemies will
think they have scored a big triumph
With so many job-hunters desiring
to serve the public, It seems a strange
omission that the State of Oregon has
no salaried State Chemist.
eelore it is too late, some one
should suggest the name of Colonel
Dosch in connection with exhibits at
the Panama Exposition.
The men who scaled Mount McKin
ley wouldn't have done it except for
Dr. Cook, so that he is entitled to
credit along with theirs.
We wish to notify each of the Eu
ropean nations that none of them
could make Roosevelt its ruler with
out his consent.
No, Mrs. Jones, if Mrs. Smith next
door should learn your age from the
censustaker, she probably wouldn't be
lieve it.
Anarchists at- said to be lying in
wait for the Colonel in urope. They
must think themselves more terrible
than lions.
Cost of living will mount higher
yet. Prices of tickets to the Jeffries
Johnson prizefight must be added.
Any man. President or other, -who
participates in a woman suffrage con
vention, deserves all he gets.
Some persons who abhor war think
the way to escape it is to let the en
emy have the strongest navy.
The comet is said to be visible to
the naked eye. Perhaps because one
must get out of bed to see it.
The man who gets up with the
chickens nowadays is lazy. He should
get up with i'-ie comtt.
Still, what the censustaker finds out
wouldn't make as breezy gossip as
some other matters.
Price is so high at bcyeotters t;.n
not get along without beefsteak.
At least chain the dog untK after
the visit of the census man.
A peculiar tonic is needed to help
the eyes to see the comet.
DISITEKKSTEU ADVICK.
A ii d Delivered With So Much Unction
and Keeling:, Too.
The Spectator, Portland.
What generous rivals the Democrats
are! Here they are, certain they have
the Republicans in a hole, sewed up,
down and out, and beaten to a frazzle,
and yet with that kindness and mag
nanimity that are ever the mark of the
noble-minded they are telling their op
ponents how to win. It is an exhibi
tion of lofty disinterestedness to make
angels smile and cause Republicans to
rember the fate of those who entertain
Greeks bearing gifts.
Not alone are the Democrats of Ore
gon giving generously of their advice
to the local Republican party how it
can extricate itself from its present dif
ficulties, and once .more march trium
phantly to the National pie counter. In
this neck of the woods, the Democrats
are begging their opponents not to hold
an assembly, for that way danger lies.
"Boys," says our Bourbon mentor,
"don't tempt fate by holding an assem
bly. The people will never forgive you
if you do, and if they won t forgive you
how can you expect them to vote for
you? We want to see the Republicans
win, and we're frightened to death that
you will be beaten if you hold the as
sembly. So, for our sake, don't do it.'
Was ever rival so single-minded? The
Spectator wonders what the Kepubli
cans are made of if they turn a deaf
ear to that plea.
How Did Br nn Do Itf
Springfield Republican.
Mr. Bryan must have visited Rome
when he encircled the earth in 1306. How
in blazes did he manage the Vatican
and the Methodists? Perhaps Mr. Bryan
beats them all In diplomacy.
I1H.HKH UV1.G IS WODlLD-WIDB.
Greater Prloes AH Around Cause, Sup
ply ot Ko.ua! the Demand-
Henry Barrett Chamberlln in the Chicago
Record-Herald.
Living cost has advanced so consistent
ly upward during the recent years, and
the tariff agitation has brought the prob.
lem so generally into discussion that the
average American citizen has come to
believe that the entire- trouble rested
within the boundaries of this country.
Efforts to learn why prices have in
creased have not been very satisfactorily
answered. The farmer has insisted that
he Is not to blame, the butcher has
blamed the packer, and the latter has
completed the circuit by shifting the re
sponsibility to the agriculturist and the
prices or roodstuils nave continued w
oar. ,,
It may not help the American pocket-
book any to know that the Increase in
the cost of living is not confined to any
particular subdivision, but it may con
tribute a mite to the food for reflection
to learn something of the- situation in
other parts of the world.
"
So widespread has been the demand for
information concerning the present value
of foodstuffs here and abroad that many
of the United States Consuls and Const- j
lar agents have been requested to investi
gate and report concerning prices or
foodstuffs. In general it appears tnat
food prices abroad, and in cities where
the wage rate is much lower than in this
country, are as high as they are here.
The reports indicate that the prices have
been increased principally because ine
supply has not kept pace with the de
mand, and not owiirg to any combination
for the purpose of increasing the rates on
the various articles. ,
In Hamburg. Germany, the average
price of sirloin steak Is Zih cents a pound.
the latest Quotations on tenderloin Deing
431-3 cents. Veal chops bring 32 cents,
while leg of veal is quoted at 30 cents.
Pork rajiK3 in price from la to JJ cents;
mutton from 19 to 30 cents, and ham from
13 to 51 cents, the latter being the price
for a fine grade of the sliced article.
These prices are furnished by a first-class
dealer, whose prices are neither the high
est nor the lowest, but tnera is siibiu
variation between dealers in fashionable
and unfashionable, the chances being that
the superior cuts of meats will be found
in the shops where the highest, prices
prevail.
From Hanover, which is considered an
inexpensive city in which to live, the
following prices were current during
March: Beef and veal, 204 cents; pork
and mutton, 19; smoked ham. 35; bacon.
22Vi; wheat flour. 4?4; rye flour. 3V; wneat
bread, 5; rye bread, 3; coffee, medium
Java roasted, 39H; table bwltor. 37;
milk, per quart, 4'; egg-s, per dozen, 40.
On the basis of income, tne uerman, in
eomnara.tive occupation with the Ameri
can worker, should not pay more than 50
per cent of the prices he now pays tor
his food, but as a matter of fact he pays
as much as the peopl here, excepting
milk, potatoes and othef vegetames. tun
sul Robert J. Thomson accounts for abil
ity to live under such conditions to tuo
ct that the German housekeeper is
rigidly economical and would be able to
maintain her table and exist rainy wen
on the waste of many American families
of similar position in life.
So high is food cost that an effort is
being made to counteract the shortage
which causes it. largely because farmers
are movine to industrial centers, by em
ploying women in agriculture. It is said
that fully 3,000.000 German women are
operating farms or working thereon
Germany has been able to keep its sup
ply of food stulfs to the maximum tig-
ures by intensive farming, the employ
ment of millions of female hands, many
of the workers coming from Poland, Bo
hernia and Lithuania.
In London the retail prices are not
greatly different from those prevalent in
Chicago. Here is a rtuidom list, with the
prices given in American money. Ine
(notations are from good shops, not the
highest priced, nor are the prices for
inferior provisions in any instance:
Bacon, 11 to 28 cents; beof, 18 to 26;
bread, two-pound loaf. 6: coffee. 24 to
44; eggs, 24 to 44; ham, uncooked. 20 to
as; ham, cooked. 48 to 61 ; lamb cutlets,
36; lard. 10 to 18: milk. 8; mutton chops,
24 to 30; steak, 20 to 36; tea, 21 to 61;
veal-. 24 to 32.
This list is a fair average one. and the
prices appear to compare favorably with
tiiise quoted in American cities during
March. The high cost of living is as
surely abroad in the British metropolis
as it is in the bigger cities of this coun
try. In Austria-Hungary the problem of liv
ing cttst has become so serious that tho
chambers of commerce throughout the
empire are investigating. An illustration
of the advance In prices is shown by this
table, furnished by tho magistracy of
Reichcnbcrg :
Kormor Present
price. price.
Beef. 2.2 lbs .MrW -' t .30'!i ..IT
Fillet of beer. 2.2 lbs .4S .Ml
Veal. 2.2 lbs 26'H) .2!0 .41
Vork, 2.2 lbs -'-'- .44'a' .4
I.iver. 2.2 IbB .24
Ueee. each .......... . 1.21
PiKons, each ....... -' --
Ducks, each "' l'l
Wheat flour. 2.2 lbs. .OK .10
1-entils, 2.2 lbs "'
Millet. 2.2 lbs ' .OS
Hulled barley. 2.2 lb. .OS .11
SiiKHr, 2.2 lbs -I"' .1"
Milk, quart.
Beer, quart .07 .11
Antbraeite coal. 1 lOlba .34 '
Bituminous lll lbs. . .15 ..".2
This is a factory tofn in a district
which is not very productive agricultural
ly! but it shows how prices are soaring.
When it is understood that tho average
workman here is accustomed to live on
20 cents a day the need for some change
is evident. Then again, the enormous in
crease in prices of foodstuffs ha.s not
meant an advance in wages, which are
practically tho same as they were 20
years ago. Naturally food adulteration has
thrived as an industry and inferior ma
terials have been used in the manufacture
of all sorts of necessities, a still further
menace to the people.
All of which merely tends to show the
drift of things riid to indicate that tho
trouble lies deeper than has been gener
ally supposed. The cost of living prob
lem is world-wide, and it will not be
solved by legislative enactment.
The Indiana Revolt.
Topeka (Kan.) Capital.
Indiana evidently is progressive to tho
grass roots and thoroughly alive to the
meaning and spirit of the insurgent
movement. Its state convention is the
first in the country since the administra
tion came in. Party loyaJty on both
sides is nowhere more intense than in
Indiana, for a generation one of tho crit
ical, doubtful states, where campaign
ing has been fiercest. Its plain-spoken
platform is a sign-post at the crossing
of the ways, which points the road to
the Republican party.
Man Out-nnd-Out Enemy.
Detroit Free Press.
So. after all, it isn't worry, it isn't de
cadent gastric juice, it isn't tile "gobble
and git" counter, it isn't worn-out stom
ach linings that force some men to give
up mince pie and the midnight lunch.
It's the enemy of his youth and his old
age, the appendix. One may guess that
henceforth there will be no closed season
for appendices. The knights of the
scalpel will hunt them early and late,
for when a man grows too old to - con
tract appendicitis he can always de
velop a case of "appendial gastralgia."
(;ooilbye to Literature..
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The pen is mightier than the sword,
it is said. Can Teddy R. wield the big
pen after the fashion.'he once wielded
the big stick?
T
TOPICAL VERSE
"Weather Terms Ill-astrated.
Maiden with a. powder puff
nabbling here and there
This reported weather-wiso
Means, "Continued fair."
, Hubby coming home at one.
Zigzag course a-wendlng
Weather signal. In this case
Would be, "Storm impending."
Baby climbing on a chair.
If she slips and falls,
It is not unlikely tlat
There'll be "sudden equalla."
Girl and lover have a spat.
She flings down his) flower.
Lover; angry, grabs) his hat
And rushes off thafa "Shower."
Man sees tailor on thfe trt.
Seems a trifle nettled.
Crosses to the other eide
That suggests, "Unsettled."
Boston Transcript.
Love T'p to Date-.
(A Sonnet in Dialoerue
He
Did I but dare, I know rd. love yon
dearly.
She
If you were brave, you would nol
falter so.
He
Tour lovely presence et ay "hi
aglow.
She
And yet It seems to agitate you. merely.
He
Xay more than that! 'Twill be my death..
or nearly!
She
Tour mood is not indicative of woe.
He
How little of my mood you seem t
know!
She
Do you believe that you could love ln
cerely ?
He
Do I believe? Oh, if you would but trj
me!
She
What is there, pray, to hinder such t
thing?
He
Should I attempt it, then, would yot
deny me?
She
Should I consent, and Cupid have nil
A thousand kisses could not satisfy mo'.
She
Ah, this expression has the proper ringl
Willis lieonard Clanahan, in Smart Se.
De HallcylooyaU Comet.
O, sinneh, ye s a-smilin' en a-winkln' on
de pair. '
But de Halleylooyah comet gwine tr
flick yo' wid its wraff;
Hit's a-bollin' on de upgrade lak a rcd-
liot train o' cahs
Dat's a-makin' up do low" time whilst hit
whizzes thoo de stahs
So be good. Misteh flinneh,
Caze do fac's en figgehsi fay
Dat de Halleylooyah comet
Am a-rushin' on do way !
To' say dey wan't no Adam en dey never.
was no Eve.
En yo' 'low dat talk 'bout Noer is a
thing yo' doan' believe.
But dey ain' no de.ad-en-gonenes3 in d
sto'y dat dey'll tell
When de Halleylooyah comet come an
make de sinnehs yell!
So look out, Misteh Sinneh,
Betteh change yo 'min' terday
Wid de Halleylooyah comet
Des a-t'ahin' up de way!
O, sinneh, yo kin chuckle en kin t05!
yo' haid en grin
ten kin do de double-shuffle on de
dancing flo o' sin.
But yo' got ter pay de flddleh ef yo' .
doan' git out do dance
Kn de Halleylooyah comet aln' gwin
gib yo' much mo' chance
So look out, Misteh Sinneh.
Bes' come in l'uiii whah yo' stray
Cazc de Halleylooyah comet
Ies a-bunnin' up de way!
Chicago Post.
With Is Again.
Now doth the little, housefly
Begin to buzz around.
Distributing disease germs
Where'or they may be found;
The awful little nuisance
'Most everywhere appear
Tiekling our noses
And likewise our ears.
'Tis time to open battle
And keep it up with zest
Against the most pestiferous
And active little post:
So bring along the poison.
The screen, and let us try
To regulate the Summer's curs
That rapid-moving fly.
Scranton, I"a., Tribune-Republican.
1'recdoni of Action.
"I'm strong for Teddy." said pa last
night.
"His views on things arc exactly right.
But of all that he's ever done or said.
At least that I've ever heard or read.
The thing that gives me most satisfac
tion Is his latest talk on freedom of action.
"Now. I'm for that every day and hour
Kreedoni of action, with all my power;
I'm going to stay out tonight till ten.
And do as I please. I say, till then:
I shall go and come in my own good
way.
And you won't have anything to say.
"I'm a firm supporter of good old
Teddy,
I'll dig that garden when I get ready,
I'll have no conditions imposed on me.
I m tho head of the house and I will
be free!
I'll do as I want, when I want and how,
Iror freedom of action I'll have from
now."
Then ma looked up from her book and
said:
"Just wind up the clock and then coma
to bed :
Tut "the milk bottle out. lock the cellar
door.
In the morning you'll paint the kitchen
floor;
All the freedom of action you have, my
sweet.
Tou'11 need in the yard when the rugi
you beat.
Detroit, Mich., Free Press.
Heroic Treatment.
Little Willie wore his stocking
Inside out a habit shocking;
To correct his naughty whim.
Mother turned the hose on him.
Woman's Home Companion.
Willie didn't seem to care:
Smeared some roof paint on his hair.
Father, though his right hand tingled.
Merely had the lad's hair shingled.
Chicago Tribune.
Thoughts on Spring.
The east wind hints of middle May,
harsh.
The clouds are sullen, low and gray.
The wild geese honk across tin
marsh ;
At least, that's what wild seen
should do
I never heard a throstle trill,
I never saw a blackbird swing. "