THE SUNDAY OREGONIA PORTLAND, OCTOBER 31, 1900.
NL f AFAIf C SS. .SCHOOLBOY
RYf-SW
3yitafvttfflA Toed
(WAUACfi fRWftf ) f:)
r. - n v -w.
t7i - Toc -
"To Etilor Oregonlan who must wish to
see the North Pole, the Tariff & other
disagreeable Fights scaled In 20
rounds.
STEAMED Mr. S'.r:
In Hotel Ft. Stifle, N. Y where
Hon. Jas Jeffs famous punch, were
residing In compartments after get-back
from Europe, I go there will my Cousin
Nogl for obtain slight interview.
This are Tiry grand Hotel. Good taste,
tatuary. waltX gilty picture-frames,
pi'ji-h & bellboys everywhere
. -Where are Hon. Jos Jeffs, please?" I
require to Hon. Clerk.
In royal bridal sweet, formerly ocou
p'ed by Prince of Wales. Consul the Monk
A other noble foreigners." report he with
cross expression fashionable among Ho-V-l
Clerks.
"Wish see him, please." This from roe.
Nearly everybody does," says Hon.
Clerk. "What name. If any?"
Tiashlmura Togo and Cousin Nogl.
Japanese Jiu Jitsu fighters." I report de-e-ptlvely.
g1v!r,g Nogl a nuj b should
not speak truth.
Hon; Cerk make Jerk to te.efone &
"That you, Hon. Jeff? Yes. please!
jp. Oniisln No id. Japa-
res Jiu Jltsu g titers.
Is here to show
you how."
"Snail be glad to try them
nr largo
Voice by teiefone.
So tne & Nogl arrive up by elovator.
(I am filled with happy banzai, but Noel
enjoy slight nervousness of knees & el
bows, like he wish go home.
Hon. Bellboy show us to large bedroom
! which looked dellciouely historical hko
Mrs. Mary Antonette got ner neau
chopped there. Everything surrounded
wid goldly furniture agreveted by pink
plush- Portraits of Hon. A. Aug. Heinx.
! Hon. Napoleon. Hon. Bob Fits ana otner
I great knockout was attached to walls.
' livkiences of wealth & un-reflnement
found everywhere.
On farthest end of this room In a raS
jilferou gold bed. formerly belonging to
j Queen Elisabeth of London, lay the
Champion punch-fighter of the world.
! reading a piay to Hon. David Belasco,
: -who sal reverently near. Hon. Jeffs were
! richly but simply dressed In green
pajamas with diamond buttons.
Although I bad never seen either Hon.
iTtelaeoo or Hon. Jeff before. I could tell
them apart by looking at them.
Hon. Jeff was reading a play to Hon.
Belasco. By soft & happy expression on
faoe of that famous Pugger I was sure
e must of wrote that Play himself.
Pretty sooniy he finish Act S and say with
.'voice:
"Thas would be the greatest hit of my
!fe."
"Your life has been full of great Hit.
y Hon. Dave. "Tet I am doubt.'ul about
this Play. It have no Plot."
-Ton could put this In for me," snug
gest Hon. Jeff optimatlcally.
"It have no good Characters In It,"
depose Hon. Belasco.
"That could be fixed by hiring soma
good actors." report that punch-man
with smiles surrounding his fighting
face.
"But It are f-!l of wrong grammar &
whote on both sides of the page." de
. rar the llajiager-man. "Also It has a
deliriously dull spot in It."
"Cant that dull pot be erased by any
brite stenographer?" require the Hon.
Champeen calmly.
"It could. If It wss smaller." say Hon.
Pave with Aunty Trust expression, "but
crrnn-n
. -BT rRVIN 8. COPB.
i'lVELI" "aid the Hotel Clerk, "I
Vv " B,LrrU Kot hl dlTOC
V without a struggle."
"Not Mike Barry, him that's a fore
man In ths Dock Department, I'm
hoping." said the House Detective. "I
know him well, an his wife, too, an' "
"By no means," said the Hotel Clerk.
"This Banrte doesn't work by the day;
: h works by ths Job. He's th exclu
' slv owner of a divine afflatus as big
s a war balloon."
"A dlvlna- wot?" asked the House Ds
teottve. "A divine afflatus," said ths Hotel
Clerk. "'Tis something that every
j great writer owns. It's the same to a
poet as a pals of legs to a letter
! carrier. And Barrle's Is a peach. When
, he takes It out of the garage and be
gins to Inflate It, a stranger la the
neighborhood would think there was a
dirigible about to go up. You see,
Barrle Is a genius by trade, which la
another way of saying that his mar
' rlage didn't turn out right. It's a com
I mon falling with geniuses. At dashing
: off poetry for the masses they're lm
mense. but their own little dreams of
domestic bliss so often refuse to Jell
properly. I guess maybe they're kept
so busy providing romance for the trade
'. that they forget to keep any in the
house for home consumption.
"But nevertheless and notwithstand
ing, when Earrle filed his papers there
' was a great to-do In the English llu
erarjv et of which he's one of the
champion layers. He's an Englishman
from Scotland, the same as Kitchener is
an Englishman from Ireland and Will
iam Waldorf Astor Is an Englishman
from America, both nations concurring.
England's full of that sort of English
men. Well, when Barrle filed the pa
pers, naming a young gentleman In the
commercial line as the special staff
co-respondent on the spot, all the other
London literatusses were greatly ex
cited. They got up a round robin, signed
by nearly everv man who writes Eng
lish plays for Charles PVohraan to pro
duce In New York, calling on the pub
lic press not to barrow up the feelings
of a great artistio nature by printing
anvthing about the distressful case."
-Did they do It?" asked the House
Detective.
"Well, not In what you'd call a spon
taneous manner." said the Hotel Clerk.
'To the alert editorial minds of the Brit
ish press a request like that was a good
deal like staking out a black-man ed Ni
felan lion, 1 hands high, and then re
questing Colonel Gwana TUmbo not to
plug hlra. When Barrle went out to take
the air there were so many enterprising
pressmen trailing along trying to ask hi;n
questions of a highly personal nature that
he looked like a grand Jury. When he
hurried back home and locked himself In.
there were gentlemen Journalists sliding
down the chimney and lady Journalists
disguised as servant maids, applying at
the back door for a Job, with good refer
ences from Lord Northcllffe and Sir Al
fred Plerson. They found special writers
under the bed at night, and London cor-
respondents- for American papers cuddled
i up In the bureau drawers with the clean
1 ghirt of the distinguished plaintiff. In the
taornltfi. S-rery day tMfor breakfast the
cV3 - f cot Kcfcmice
this la the largest -dull spot I ever seen.
It begins with Act One and ouita only
when the play does."
"Could not such spots be removed wrth
gasolene?" say Jeff.
yes If you set fire to the gasolene,
rake oat Dave.
"Before this conversation." say Jeff
with knock-out expression of mouth. "I
had hopes to Quit the brutal tame of
punch-flghtlng & obtain my money In
some more light, ladylike way. But
now this hope have went. If my play
Is footless, hairless and covered with a
dull spot, what would I do with It?"
Slight weeps from him.
"Cheer uply!" corrode Hon. Belask
putting on his cane & hat. "Playwriters
Is seldom discourldged. When thetr
plays la bad they puts some songs Into
It and sells It for a musical Comedy."
Bo Hon. Belasco part off & leave ITon.
Jeff wrapped In Thought and a silk blan
ket. Pretty soonty he look round & see me
and "ogi setting together lonesomely;
on pink chairs.
"So ba!" he exclam, "Tou are the Jap
anese jiu Jiiu fighters! Would you like
to fleht me now, or could you wait til)
later?"
We have leisure to wait," say Cousin
Noel with pale ears.
"Would you not draw some eolor-IInes
at us?" I ask with thankful feelings be
cause of my Oriental parents.
"Ah, no."" reciprocate Jeff rolling up
sleeves to elbows where muscles was
wound all around It like peevish snakes.
"I am careless about different shades of
prise-fighters. Indians. Australians, su
lus I am wining to pound them all to
dumber If brought to me In sufficiently
good condition. For money I am even
willing to give knock-away punch to
Chinese & Jnpaneee."
I thank him for this chivalry to my
race." '
"Have you evr met Japanese & Chi
nese Champeens?" I otter.
"Never yet," he enaccer. "But fre
quently I have met fighters with yellow
streaks."
I make note of this phenomenal.
Are you Intending to have a hitting
match with Hon. Jon Jonson (colored)
desplta his Nigger qualities?" This from
me.
"It Is all down In black & white." he
pronounce.
"Hon. Bums say "A man"s a man for
h thatr " I report for smart quotation.
"Burns!" Fay Hon. Jeff. "Ton mean
Jim Burns that Canadian lemon what
went to Australia for fight Jack John
son? I wouldn't pay Mention to what
he says. What have become of classic
revernce tor bruise 4 slug, that folks
should go around quoting Burns like
they thought he wan a smart man? It
was not thus In my Pay."
"What was your-Day, please?" This
from Nogl.
"My Day," say Hon. JeT with dog
fight expression of nose and teeth, "My
Day waa when I slapped, an Oblivion
Poultice on the lunch-box of Hon Boh
Fits till Australia dipped the rag and
the Spotted Kangaroo hopped to Slum
berland and kicked the daisies while the
bell tolled ten."
I could not-swlmllate them words he 1
said It. It sound like poetry In some for
eign language. "Maybe he Is speaking
German." say Nogl with whispers.
Hon. Jeff now arose up In his pajamas
ft lifted up his elhtiws In attitude of a
Plug wishing to do so. Me and Nogl
got respectfully under a table.
"It was like thusly," resume on that
nn
housemaid use to sweep a whole clutter
of free-lances out of the areaway. One
tall, slender reporter In a damp raincoat
was discovered, leaning up against the
hatrack In the front hall, with a bone
handle clasped between his teeth, trying
to pass for a wet umbrella. At least
that's what I hear.
"If Barrie had been the German war
scare or a corner-stone laying by His
Royal Highness the Prinoe of Walea, the
English papers couldn't have been more
generous than they were. They actually
gave hlra the headlines that they were
saving up for the next United States rail
road disaster.
"And when he came Into the court to
get his decree, do you think for a moment
that those mighty Archlmedian levers
which move the world to indignation,
sometimes, overlooked the bet? If you do,
you're wrong.' No slr-ree. There wasn't
a single one of the great English Jour
nals but spread the hint that while the
eminent man of letters declined to be in
terviewed on so delicate a subject, still
there were most excellent reasons for be
lieving that at Jl not far distant date he
would lead to the hymeneal register (Eng
lish for our word altar, Larry) that same
young gifted protege of his whose great
dramatio powers were first recognized by
the wayshe wore a pair of, pink pajamas
In a musical show. And we are sure it is
the wifcb of all our readers as well as all
other loyal Britons hat they may be mar
ried and live happil forever after, or for
a few weeks, anyhow. For fuller parti o
ulars of the lamentable proceedings be
fore the Justice, see next page, second,
third and fourth columns. Or words to
that general effect."
"Well, wot did them round-robin guys
expect?' said the House Detective.
"Ain't a noospaper got a right to print
ail the facts about a dlbrce soot?"
"It has," said the Hotel Clerk, "and It
does. With the utmost pleasure. But the
point I'm trying to make Is that the moth,
er country Is not treating genius with he
proper deference and respect any more.
Now with us, praise heavens, it's differ
ent. We give genius its proper due.
whether It's expressed In writing an epJo
poem or carrying a close election.
"T would be an awful thing If we didn't
give a genius any more consideration
than we give to a man who believes In
hair cuts. You go to almost any dinner
party for true Bohemians or others op
posed to working for their living these
days, and you'll be apt to find there a
dreamy-orbed party with an Elbert Hub
bard necktie and his hair all down his
back like one of the Sutherland sisters
getting ready for bed. and probably he'll
be bathing his noble brow In the salad
dressing or doing a little Intensified agri
culture on his finger nails with an oyster
fork. But It wouldn't be right to say
anything about it. If be was an ordinary
guy. well and good give him the hook.
But If he's a true genius who can write
poetry that nobody, not even Richard
Watson Glider can understand, or some
thing of the sort, you want to overlook
his little peculiarities, especially If you
should happen to be the host; because, as
I say, they're evidences of real genius
and If you rebuffed him he'd go away
and probably never again break bread
and shed dandruff at your board.
"If you're a bookmaker or a bookkeeper
oy a porcn ollmDer or a winaow aroasor
or MS rflnarx jpxj; IUc you nd
E
.Sfreff 3-V
Hon. Jos. Jeff, Famous Punch, Is Interviewed in His Mrs, May
Antoinette Apartments in the Hotel St. Stifle -
great Jolter, "Round after round the
Freckled Skeleton from the AntripodeB
bad laid W mltters all over me. This
were very Irritating."
"I should hit a man for doing that."
say Nogi with peev.
"I tempt to do so: but I was up in the
air." he aviate. "I could not land. I
flew around in circles and whenever I
such as go to make up the run of hu
manity, you can't skip your baths or
overlook changing your collar about once
In so long or fail to patronize the barber
or refuse to pay your bills without even
tually getting seriously talked about. But
with a genius it's different There're
only three classes of grown men In this
country that oan wear the long-flowing
locks and get away with It One class
Is composed of Colonel W. S. Buffalo
Bill. And one class is composed of those
fur-bearing patriots that swore they'd
never cut It off until Bryan was sleeted
President, and aa a result are going
around tangled up In the underbrush,
with every prospect of furnishing their
own immtrrtelles when they die: and the
third class is geniuses., and they're the
biggest and most Important of all. We
i Diffg-est maa most important ox an. w
tliul4aaii.
i asm m wm m
threw a hook to that Prince of Black
smiths. I found I was a mile over his
head. I wait disgusted of myself."
"Why should you be?"' I say for ad
miration. "Hon. Wllburd Wright never
done bo well."
Hon. Jeff scrowel at me doggishly for
Interference. Then he ' resum on.
"Hon. Fits was a delusive old mammal.
ties of genius when one of them takes
to wearing his evening clothes In the
morning ana no clothes at all' m the
evening; or any little quaint personal pe
culiarity like that For don't genius and
Insanity walk hand In hand, as the scien
tists say, and when they quit holding
hands and go to the mat In a clinch. Isn't
It nearly always Insanity that lands on
top?
"And that's why I have no sympathy
with the persona who get marTied to
geniuses and then bleat about It after
wards. Look at what they thought they
were getting. And look at what they
do get! I'm speaking now of male
geniuses, you understand. I never saw
but two lady geniuses in my life, and
from the looks of them I'd say that the
r "- -w I j l .Val
female kind la not greatly addicted to
When I tried to bore a hole In him he
sMd under my arm. Whenever I felt for
him he wasn't there."
"Where was he, please?" require Nogl.
"He was slipping around the ring like
a Eel on a hot griddle."
"I should like to. .ee thla Hon. Fits.
He nrUst be wonderful man, say me &
Nogl 1n unicorn
THE. T55.UE dENlUb
AT .DINNER p
the Statue of Liberty and had large
oommon-sense feet like a Broadway
oop, and she was a sculptress. The
other one painted masterpieces and she
wore those thick convex glasses that
look like the bottoms of two whisky
tumblers, and as well as I could Judg-e
she was growing a brown vandyke. She
already had a nloe mustache and some
extra special fuss to start her. But
with male geniuses It's different They
seem to be great hands for marrying
and giving in marriage.
"The average girl has very decided
Ideas of the man she thinks she's going
to marry. When she's going on 18 and
Is Just Beginning to put her hair up
she figures it out that the only party
who need apply must be a tall dark
yed beivo svitli a-iiiddsn jpasVand great
"After some time spent in this amuse
ment." say Jeff, "I seen that this Fits
man were enjoying great fatigues. His
breath arrived In long pants. His right
wing" was covered with bumps and his
left lost it cunning way of hitting me
In the eye. This were nice time for me!"
"What you do then?" require Nogl bit
tlvely. "Six times I punched his meal-ticket,"
he report.
"How much a gentleman must know to
be a puggUst!" says Nogl with respects.
"Nothing arrived now but the finish,"
continue this giant Knocker. "I drove
one delicious stem-wind into the center
of his dagrcm. which caused the Pride
of the Kangaroos to shrink up like a
sponge. With a normus gawsp he col
laDsed to door. Hon. Gong stroked one-
two-three It were sad to see that Grandy
Old Man of 1000 battles thusly fading into
zero. How I wish 1 could neip mm m
some way!"
"Didn't you do nothing to help himT"
I require.
"Of sure I did!" snuggest Jeff. "I
6tretched him out with a Hushabye In
the Jaw. He lay stilL It was all over
but the banzai."
"Was he dead?" I require hopefully.
"He was not dead but sleepy," snug
gest Hon. Jeff crolling back Into bed and
filing his fingers daintlshly with a mani
cure saw.
"One more answer I should like to re
quire," I derRnge as soonly as I could
think what it was. "Do you regard
punch-fighting to be a brutal thing for
people?"
"Too seldom It Is," report him. "Many
pugelistick encounters is like golluf
merely, gently stimulating exercises
among two gentlemen what are either
too old or too lazy fow hard work. Look
at that recent meet between Hon. Jon
Johnson (colored) and hon. Jack Drexel
O'Brien of Philadelphia. What was it?"
Me and Nogl are disabled to answer.
"It were a pretty, harmless sight, like
little school-girls of similar tastes' but
opposite complexions playing 'Beans Por
ridge Hot' on the village lawn. Nice old
ladies might gaz at such pastimes for
days & days, and never have a single
nerve knocked ajar."
"Do you regard feetball to be a more
coarse & brutal game than prize-fight
ing?" is next question for me.
"There ain t no comparison! aio jen.
"For years my brain has became so tuned
to the higher & sweeter uses of prize
fighting that my soul caiighs and flutters
whenever I think of feetball. How can
more or less educated College Boys be so
rude to each other?
"Only last November, Dr. Chas. W.
Bitot of Harvard telephoned me wouldn't
I please come & set with him and Senator
Hale at the annual Tale-Harvard gamel
But I answered backwards, "No, Charley,
much as I admire you as a man and a
sport. I can't be seen with you at a feet
ball game. You're too boystrous on such
occashions. Also my heart's weak and
J'm afraid I might swoon off to see thera
scenes of gore & carnage
"I think Charley never forguv me for
this. But what could I do? Dr. Eliot
am only a private citizen: but when a
fella gets mixed into Public Life like I
am he can't be careless like he used to."
"Will Hon. Eliot be present at your
4th-coming kunckle-hht with Hon. Jon
Johnson (colored)?"
"I askt him, but he refused," confass
this hitting man. "Ain't It strange how
narrow & prejudiced them Colledge Profs
gets?"
While he was thusly talking a' French
sorrowful orbs and ebon curls floating
athwart Mis marble grow, and he must
know how to thrum a guitar dreamily
and sing Spanish love songs to her, and
If he can lean In a graceful attitude
against a broken column and talk that
Phillips Oppenhelm stuff, so much the
better. But after awhile experience
teaches her that the brow which Is
marble In front Is mighty apt to be
marble or some other hard substance
all the way through, and with chuck
steak up to 22 cents, Spanish love songs
butter no parsnips. So the chances are
she hooks up with a good, steady pro
vider in the wholesale hay and feed
line, who's wearing his figure at half
mast and has two double chins In front
ana one behind, and while this fleshy
party hasn't any love songs In stock,
he is there with a monthly cash bal
ance, and that's very gratifying to con
template during a hard Winter. Still,
every now and then one of them mar
ries a true genius who soars into the
realmB of art and poesy, except three
times a day when he comes down to eat.
And pretty soon-he has a temperamen
tal outburst and she has a black eye.
Or maybe it's only an affinity that he
has. But In either event she gets the
shiner.
Ogden Armour, Financier
Continued From Pago Four,
of the Armours at the close of his col
lege lite. He began with thom in Kan
sas City In a lowly position; step by
step he made his way up to the treas
urershlp of the company, and here,
coming directly under the eye of J.
Ogden Armour, got such an opportunity
to make good as seldom comes to any
man.
He was installed as treasurer almost a
perfunctorily as Mr. 'Harriman made se
lection of some of his lieutenants. Mr.
Armour showed him the treasurer's office.
"I want you to sit at that desk," he said.
Later on, when Mr. Armour announced to
his treasurer that he was to be chosen a
director of the Continental National Bank
of Chicago "the Armour bank" Mr. Mo
Robert's reply consisted of two words:
"All right" Still later on, when Mr. Mo
Roberts knew that he was picked to be
"the Armour representative" In the Na
tional City Bank of New York, he showed
another side of his character when he
traveled down to Missouri to talk over
the proffered offer with his father.
If ever a captain of Industry, or any
other man, deserved the description of
"Jolly good fellow" ' It's due this same
Samuel McRoberts, as New York has been
finding out sinoe he landed there. He Is
full of laughter, anecdotes of famous men
with whom he has been associated, genial,
easy to meet and to know. Chicago says
that he gets his recreation by telling and
listening to good stories; New York is be
ginning to believe it for, even though he
has been there only a short time, a com
mon question asked In the- city's clubs
where its financiers and men of affairs
congregate is, "Say, have you heard Mc
Roberts' latest good oner
Ql the lata H. ii, Saxrimaa Hr McRob
valet, a German barber, a Swedish mas
sage, a Irish trainer & J or 8 laborers
arrive In door to tell Hon. Jeff he must
get up Slight complaint from him. They
approach nervously & pull him out of bed.
"Is there" some impudent questions you
Jap ladds wish enquire before I retire
to next room to be scrubbed down by
trainers & assistants?" he say It.
"Eleuse. exhulted & high-up Pounder."
I snuggle, "when you was In Paris, what
you thought of them French puggle
fighters you seen there?"
"Them Frenchmans." report Hon.
Jeff. "Is a curious species of 4-paw
prizefighters. They wear their boxing
gloves on their feet as well as their
hands. This are a deliclously cunning
habit. When American pugglists
fights them Frenohers the results Is
very confused. It are awiui puzzling
to be pieKed in the nose Just as you ars
beginning to get Sclentlf lck.
"Would not ,thls French boxing b
nice fight for. Americans to do?" I re
quire. "Nix It would not!" olllouto Jeff.
"There Is too much kicking among
prizefighters already."
Bo he retire Into next room where
there are sound of splash, splatter,
rubb & 'gronew of trainers being
knocked around.
Nogl say he got one more Question
he should like to enquire, so we set
lonesomely on pink chairs awaiting for
Hon. Jeff to arrive out again.
Preety soonly this grea Champeen
approach back. He are now all bril
liantly tired out In a frockaway coat,
silk-pipe hat. egg-colored gloves, pink
vest & all sorts of sox & necktie to
match.
"Well, farehye, Jap boys." he explodes,
squeezing our hands off with kindness,
"I must depart off for lunch with Gov.
Hughes & make slight lectures by T.
M. C. A. Any breef question you wish
ask beforehands?"
"Please, If convenient," say Nogl
stepping forwards, "would ' you Illus
trate to me, as kindly as possible, what
stroke you Intend t deliver to Hon.
Jon Jonson (colored) to stop him doing
"Of sure I will," say Hon. Jeff smlre
fully. "Stand slightly bark, please.
Now throw up both elbows like a angry
crab'
"Will It make me hurt?" requtr
Nog! standing In this positions.
"It are nearly always painless," com
mute Jeff. "Now get ready to ses
whatl"
Of suddenly Hon. Jeff give poor Nogl
slight shove to rib. It do not seem a
harsh or strong stroke, yet It send my
Cousin skating to corner on the back
of his brains. Hon. Jeff depart off
with comlck expression of one who sees
Jokes.
I rosh to comer where poor Nogl is
laying. Ills face is so full of happy
trance I hate to wake him. But I roust.
( g0 j fan h)j wrlBtB atl(j hoge bj, eyes
with water. Pretty soonly he set up
with duzzied expression.
- "How you feel?" I Require. r
"My health Is well, but my mind l
full of comets." he report So I took
him home In handsfiijSe cab feeling too
grogged & buzzy to 'have no sensible
opinion about nothing.
Hoping you are the same
Tours truly
HASHIMTJRA TOGO.
(Copyright, 1909, by the Associated
Literary Press.)
"If a plain bricklayer gets frlsjd up
and goes home and tenders his lady
wife a ohaste greeting by feinting with
the left and then crossing the right to
the point of the Jaw, somebody in the
next flat runs out for the cops, and the
next morning the Judge tells him he's
a brutal beast and he gets SO days on
the Island to teach him that when a
party gets oorned like a brisket he
mustn't try to double as the live steers
also. But 'if a genius hands his life's
companion a brisk casual wallop or two,
and she makes a roar, everybody says It
serves her right for not keeping her
soul attuned to the deeper cravings of
his nature. She should have a higher,
nobler conception of the sphere In
which a genius moves, than to go gurg
ling for help out of the front window
any minute he feels a mood coming
over him and wants to choke her a few
minutes. Hasn't she got a genius, one
of the elect of nature, to live with, and
shouldn't . that be enough to satisfy
any woman? Thank goodness the rest
of us know how to appreciate geniuses
In this oountry, even if their wives
don't."
"Wot do geniuses want with wives
anyway?" asked the House Deteotlve.
' "Many of them have.no other visible
means of support," said the Hotel
Clerk.
erts was an ardent admirer, he havliKT
splendid chances to study the man when
ever they two and Mr. Armour met to
talk over the Chicago freight tunnel
project When a friend of the writer
asked Mr. McRoberts to give his estimate
of Mr. Harriman, the summing up was in
one short sentence: 'The most useful man
that has ever lived."
It is said by some of those who are close
to the Armour plans that, as vice-president
of the National City Bank, Mr. Mo
Roberts will take- a prominent part In
directing the Armour financial operations
In the Argentine Republic, where ulti
mately the Armour investments will in
volve hundreds of millions of dollars, that
the Armour packing-houses of our great
Middle West may be kept In beef.
(Copyright 10O9. by E. J. Edwards.)
Turning of the Worm,
It used to be not long ago
That men would tell their wives.
"I've got to go to lodge tonight
When eight o'clock arrives."
"All right, my dear, but hurry home."
The trusting dear would say,
And like as not the husband came
About the break of day.
Times brings a change In everything
No longer hubbies dodge
The truth, and make a night of It
By deftly pleading "lodge,"
For wifey, too, has gotten wise
And she no longer frets.
She also has a lodge or two
Thanks to the suffragettes.
St. Louis Star.
EnjclUh was spoken by 22,000.000 people
at the beginning of the 10th century. How,
mjjr, than 100,000.000, setups assaJs,
i