THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, JULT 4, 1909.
IT A IMM, (A0C-
BT MAT KCT.T.T,
IMMT, flear, It's so Rood of you to
I bring me to tho ball game. I
" didn't know ao many ladles went,
and wore such pretty hats. I'm so glad I
came:"'
"Yes, you'll like It all right. Be quiet
just a minute; I want to find out who's
soing to pitch."
"Oh. ire those our boys In the 'white
uniform? I'm so glad our sldo wears
white, they look so pretty standing out
there In the green bleacners!"
"Hush-sh, batter's up now! Listen,
Kthel. Where all those men are sitting; on
th benches Is called the bleachers, and
that farthest grass out there is the out
field, and up round the bases and where
the pitcher stands Is called the infleld.
Now. do you understand?"
"Uli, yes. T see now. But I can't tell
whether the pitcher Is playing: partners
with the man on first base, or the man
w ho knocks the ball. He seems to throw
the ball one place as much as another."
"There are no partners. This Is NOT
bridge! Just watch the game awhile, and
you'll understand It better. Wow! That
was a keen one, old man! You're the
clasy kid!"
"Jimmy. I wish our catcher didn't wear
such a dirty bib! Why does he have to
have one, anyway? Is that the fowl that
keeps hiding: behind the pitcher or the
catcher all the time?" v
"Jxrd. .Ethel! That's the umpire!
"Where'd you get such crazy notions?"
"Well, I know there IS a- fowl in the
Rani', and I heard a man over there say
he was a. foxy old bird, and . Oh,
Jimmy, is the game all over? Do we
have to go now? What made them stop
playing so soon?"
"No, no, Ethel. The player! change
places after each Inning. Portland's at
the bat now, and you'll see some pretty
stick work. Just watch. Don't you want
Feme peanuts?"
"No. thank you. Jimmy, how many
Infields do they have, here In Portland?
INSANE CELEBRATION OF THE FOURTH
BT HELEN SA.TR GRAY.
HE Fourth of July Is fittingly
called "Independence day." It
Is the day when Independence of
the laws Is allowed, a carnival of law
lessness and disregard of the rights of
others, tke fiesta of the hoodlum. That
liberty Is not license to violate laws,
but is found only In obedience to the
highest laws of man and Nature. Is not '
. lesson that Independence day Is
teaching: the cltlsens. To thousands It
Is Memorial day, and the pandemonium
that prevails is a poignant reminder to
them of the death of some member of
their family, who was offered as a
sacrifice to the "god of noise."
For tho last six years, the Journal
of the American Medical Association
has complied a record of Fourth of
July casualties. It la admittedly In
complete, as not every physician In
the United States submits reports.
Trivial Injuries have not been re
ported or Included In the lists. This
record shows that since 1908 the num
ber of persons killed and Injured by
fireworks was 29.296; 99 lost their
eyesight; 483 lost one eye; 365 lost
a leg. arm. or hand. With eyes, a leg.
or a hand gone, the crippled victim is
a burden to- his relatives or to the
community. One year the number of
persons killed by fireworks was great
er than the number of men killed In
battle In the Spanish-American War.
Despite all the agitation and the
warnings In .newspapers and maga
zines, the number of dead and Injured
was greater in 1808 than In any prev
ious year that records have been kept.
The increase may be partly due to the
fuller reports that are now obtained
than were obtainable when the cru
sade was first started. In 1908, 6623
persons were killed or Injured by fire
works, over 1000 more than In 190".
Of 1SH5 people who have been killed
by Fourth of July celebrations In the
last six years, 776 died of tetanus, or
lockjaw, as It Is commonly called. Very
few cases recover after lockjaw has
developed. The records of six years
show that less than 7 per cent re
covered. Safety lies In prevention, not
In locking- the barn after the horse Is
stolen.
Strange as It may seem to thoss
who are wont to think blank cart
ridges harmless, they cause nearly 1000
Injuries every year and most of the
cases of lockjaw. In six years they
caused 668 cases of lockjaw as com
pared with 167 cases caused by other
Tlnds of fireworks and firearms. The
reason blank cartridges cause so many
I cases la because they are considered
harmless and because they do not make
mutilating wounds, like cannon crack
ers or firearms; and so. little attention
is paid to them. The lockjaw germ Is
n-spnciaiiy prevalent . in siaDies ana
nrnyards and In street dirt. As it ts in
FlPftA totals .......
17 totals .......
; li tntais
. 1'5 totals ,
1004 total
hkv totals
Grand totals
yards and the streets and on the side
walks, that children play with fire
works, when accidents occur, bits of
skin from, their hands or feet with
lockjaw srerms on It, are carried into
the wounds.
rases of tetanus have fallen off
s: really, from 415 In 190.7 to 7 In 1908.
This Is largely due to the efforts of
newspapers and magaslnes In printlngr
thn directions Issued by health com
missioners and calling: attention to the
necessity of (ttvinif all Injuries from
fireworks Immediate surcrlcal attention,
no matter how trlval they may seem.
ThorouKh 'stirgrical exploration, cleans
Iiik. and draining; of wounds prevents
many cases of tetanus. Physicians de
scribe the decrease not only to thor
ough cleansing: and draining; of the
wounds, but to the use of tetanus
antitoxin as a preventative, not much,
if anything:, being: claimed for It as a
cure after lockjaw has set In.
In 190S. plant or cannon firecrackers
caused 1765 Injuries, 23 deaths, and 5
cases of lockjaw. Tt is tho cannon
cracker that Is responsible .for most of
the mutilating wounds Inflicted by flre-
asnD bREAKS INTO Tniv ENJOYMENT
TO INSTRUCT tlBR, AT THE 2UJGHN
They play 15 in Boston, I saw In the
paper."
, "Sli-sh! Go it, olu socks'. Gee, that's
a peach of a two-bagger! Look out for
a double play!"
"Jimmy. I like this one that's going: to
knock now. He seems so neat. Do you
notice how he smooths out the dirt with
both feet, and pulls up his belt, and
straightens his cap all the way around,
and wipes his hand on his bat every time
before he knocks? I think he 1b awfully
nice!"
"Humph! So do all the other girls."
"Oh, Jimmy, isn't that dreadful! He
knocked It way over the fence, and now
he'll be out! Oh, I'm awfully sorry.
"Be quiet, Ethel; that's a home run.
Good work, 'Mac.', old chap! Great!"
"Are the other side good knockers,
Jimmy?"
"You bet theyre KNOCKERS! Ethel,
you mustn't say knock when you mean
bat or bunt. The man "strikes' the ball,
you should say."
"Oh, I see now. That's why the um
pire keeps telling: him 'strike,' so he'll
know when to knock It. I see now.
Jimmy! Do tell me what they're mak
ing: that noise about? What are you
yelling: for?"
"Why, ho beat his bunt out! See!
He made the cushion!"
"Well, I don't see why they yell
because he made that ugly old cushion!
That's not worth making such a fuss
about. It Isn't pretty like the one I
made you before we . were married.
Don't you remember with the winged
"M" on it? Oh, Jimmy, did our side
beat that time? And I didn't see the
one that wears large bunches of horse
shoe. Which one Is he? Don't you
know the paper spoke about him?" .
"Yes. yes, but that's only baseball
works. The statistics collected by the
Chicago Tribune show that In .1908. 21
persons died of heart failure ' due to
the shock of loud explosions of can
non crackers. In the last few years,
several Instances have been reported
of babies who were thrown Into con
vulsions by the explosion of firecrack
ers near them and died. Playing- with
powder always reaps a harvest of
death among children every Fourth. In
Chicago last year, a fcoy of 11 was
playing- with a home-made cannon,
when the powder In It exploded and
blew his head off. A similar accident
ooourred In a town in Massachusetts.
Torpedo or dynamite or bomb canes, as
they are called, frequently exdode and
I drive pieces of Iron Into chlldrens' legs
Osstfca. Injur.. g C"Bi Causes of. AT Cases Aside
5" cases from Tetanus Cases.
1 -I 1 , -, . (
8 i: e r " Hl 5 &e - SS S 3
J Iti t 11 ft lit I B 1 U if !t I i ! fi
53 S ?!2 l ?J fl i4 51,8 "90 B-:-3 H "1 l.'Oaj 89I 481 2.068
7 S lit 12 15 SI l 8-8rt ' 2 21 W.4 1.4SH 2671 R02 1 B2S
ST S IS ?J I0 2l .2 4.WM 6.17 - A .-50 744 1.7751 474! 4M 1,6TB
Afl JS 122 U Si ' 308 8-BS7 .!) 74 2ft Pf.I 1,28 UTS 4I.IR l.Of.8
m 80 76 64 174 S.S70 8.083 4.440 388 52 1.30B 1.1521 3871 236 731
T7 Bo H1 4S2 865 1.SS1 2B.T8S 27.980 20,206 666 167 6.270 9.I67I 2,4m 2.5al 8.870
or ankles. Some years. ISO or 170 chil
dren are reported injured by these
canes.
Patients in hospitals suffer intense
ly from the celebration of the Fourth.
Their nerves are racked by the din;
their temperatures rise; many are
made delirious; those to whom a little
sleep means so much, are kept awake.
'
Four or five hundred persons every
Fourth are killed or injured by fire
arms. Last year, 194 persons were hit
by "stray bullets." In Chicago, two wo
men were shot while sitting: at home
on the porch. One of them, the mother
of two small children, was killed. One
man had his right hand shattered by
a bullet while walking; in a park;
another had an eye put out while
standing; on a street corner, and a
child was killed while playing; at home
in the back yard. The danger from
stray bullets is not confined to yards
and porches. One Is no longer safe In
the house. Every year -several people
are killed or Injured by them when in
doors. In New York, In 1907, a woman
was killed In her own home by a stray
.AN-ICE CPEAM CONE " -gj JSMwP
slang. Here,
chewing gum
let me
and an
buy you some
ice cream cone
or two."
"No, I'd rather
watch the game, I
TMROU4H THE WINDOW
bullet An actress who was In her room
on the third floor of a hotel was hit by
a skyrocket, and the building set o
Are. Firecrackers that they "thought
had gone out" and picked up to look
at, as well as firearms, they "didn't
know were loaded," caused the usual
number Of deaths, loss of eyesight, and
other injuries. Gunshot wound statis
tics covering one-half the population
of the United States for the last seven
years, compiled by the Chicago Bureau
of Statistics, show a great increase In
the deaths of young- children during
the Fourth of July season and that 9
per cent of the deaths from grunshot
wounds occurred among- children be
tween 10 and 14 years of age, 4 per
cent among- children 4 to 0 years of
age, 2 per cent among children under
5 years of age.
In reading the lists of casualties it
Is surprising to find how many middle
aged and elderly men are enumerated
there. It is alleged that tho fathers
and older brothers participate In the
celebration to insure safety to the
children. More frequently they partici
pate because- they are as much in
terested as Is the small boy. I noticed
in glancing over the list of Fourth
of July casualties in the Philadelphia
North American. In- 1907, that 40 per
cent of the killed and injured were 18
years of age and over.
Statistics show that every year several
hundred thousand dollars' worth of prop
erty So burned up by fires started by
fireworks. If the total loss were known,
it would greatly exceed these figures. The
Fourth of July celebration In 1908 cost
Pittsburg a property loss amounting to
$300,000. It so frequently happens that
fire breaks out In the stock of fireworks
in stores, it is strange that the building
laws are not strict enough to guard
against the danger by forbidding shop-
think it Is SO Interesting. Now, Jim
my. I know how that one got to sec
ond base, and you don't need to tell
me. He knocked I mean bumped a
keepers to carry any such line of goods.
To the loss by fire must be added the cost
of cleaning- up the litter from the streets
after the celebration is over. In a largo
city a no small Item of expense.
Mrs. Isaac Rice, -organizer of the So
ciety for the Prevention of Unnecessary
Noise, made an investigation to ascertain
how much money is spent for Fourth of
July fireworks and found that in 1907
$20,000,000 were spent in the United States
and $4,000,000 in New York City atone.
If the millions of dollars wasted every
year on noise and destruction celebrating
the Fourth were devoted to some worthy
cause, such as Improving the conditions
of living In city and country homes, or to
some other educational or philanthropic
cause, how quickly American homes
could be made more comfortable and
beautiful to live In.
The Fourth Is the fiesta of the fool,
the day when the jeker with a distorted
sense of humor Is allowed to indulge his
abnormal propensities to the utmost. What
constitutes their sense of humor makes
a line of demarcation between people. It
exists In all stages, from the rudimentary
In those who have to have jokes explained
and cannot see the point even then, to the
excrescent. It Is the fools of this type
who throw lighted cannon crackers
through the -windows of elevated Tallroad
trains and Into streetcars or put torpedoes
Hit BY AJTRAY BU1.LE1"
and dynamite -aps on the rails of street
car tracks, to frighten and shake up the
passenscrs. Another pleasant pastime of
tneirs m to drop giant crackers from the
windows of high buildings, regardless of
tne raot that the crackers sometimes ex
plode In the faces of passersby and de
stroy their eyesight. Another joke that
tney enjoy Immensely Is slipping lighted
cannon crackers Into the pocket of some
unwary person. Then they stand by and
guffaw. Another Joke of theirs that is
excruciatingly funny is to make a man
think he lias been killed by unexpectedly
arawing a revolver and firing a blank
cartridge in his face. They enjoy fright
ening people by pointing firearms at them.
and frequently they shoot some one with
a gun or pistol they "didn't know was
loaded, or which they "thought con
tained blank cartridges." Their latest ex.
ploit is to throw firecrackers in at the
open widows of houses.
In 1907 and 1908 a number of houses
were set on fire in this way. In
New York a joker threw a bunch of
lighted firecrackers Into tho lap of a
woman who was sitting on the porch of
her home. Her dress caught fire, and she
was severely burned before the flames
could be extinguished. It Is regrettable
mat me joKer usually has ample opportu
nlty to escape while his victim in occupied
with putting out tho fire or attending to
his burns. In 1907 a Joker threw a giant
cracker into a rowboat filled with young
xoiks, ana as a result one was drowned.
In Chicago a man who was unwary
enough to venture across the city with a
load of hay on the third of July received
a serious reminder that the Fourth is
not one day, but several. Some boys
threw a cannon cracker into the hay, and
the horses were badly burned.
According to the statistics collected by
the Chicago Tribune for the last ten
years on the subject of Fourth of July
casualties, and published annually on
OF JIMMY WHO TRIES
STREET PARK
double-bagger, didn't he? But see the
funny little one that the next one
bumped!. He must be sickly, isn't he?"
"No, no, that's a bunt. Ethel. Those
OF JULY
the 5th and 6th of July. 77T people have
been injured in the last decade In run
aways eauseci by fireworks, and many
others killed. The Joker with a preter
natural sonse of humor Is responsible for
many of tiiese runaways. Often he de
liberately throws lighted crackers under
horses' feet. One year , in Chicago the
proprietor of a store was caught by the
police throwing dynamite crackers under
horses passing his place of business.
Those who seek to show off by holding
firecrackers while they explode pay the
penalty with loss of fingers or hands. In
1!(7 two boys attempted tne further f eat H
of bravado of holding lighted firecrackers
in their mouths. Tho dimensions of those
organs, it Is needless to say, were con
siderably enlargeu by the explosions.
One explanation as to why It takes so
long to accomplish so llttlo toward rid
ding the country of the evil of celebrating
the Fourth with firecrackers Is found In
the Declaration of Independence: "All
experience hath shown that mankind are
more disposed to suffer, while evils are
sufferable. than to right themselves by
abolishing the forms to which they are
accustomed. But when a long train of
abuses and usurpations, pursuing in
variably the same object, evinces a de
sign to reduce them under absolute des
potism, it Is their right, it Is their duty
to throw off such government and to pro
vide new guards for their future secur
ity." When there Is unanimity of opinion as
to what course to pursue. It is readily
adopted. For Instance, when the Iroquois
Theater fire occurred and nearly 600 lives
were lost, the news spread from one end
of the country to the other. A wave of
reform followed In Its wake. Antiquated
ordinances were gotten out and remod
eled. All the theaters In Chicago were
closed, and some were not reopened for
weeks. There, was hardly a theater In
the country that was not obliged to pro
vide fireproof curtains and other- safe
guards at once.
Some years the casualties of the Fourth
are nearly as bad as in the ease of the
Iroquois fire; but, since they are not all
at one time and in one place, few people
realize the appalling nature and number
of them; and so the deadly celebrations
are allowed to continue. Many of those
who die of Fourth of July injuries do not
die until long after the Fourth. For ex
ample, one year the Chicago Tribune on
the morning of tne Bth reported that 25
persons had died of their injuries: but
weeks afterward, when the ilnal count
was made, the number of dead was 468,
most of them having died of lockjaw.
When some one else Is to blame for the
death or mutilation of one of our family
or friends, our indignation and denuncia
tions are unbounded; but when parents
let their children have fireworks and fur
nish them the money to make the pur
chase, they become particeps crlminls.
In New York in 1907 permission to deal
ers to sell fireworks extended until July
10. This fact is significant. In some cities
vigorous celebration of the Fourth begins
a day or two in advance. Pandemonium
is let loose the evening of the Fourth and
a deafening din Is kept up nearly all
night, and It is a day or two after the
can
tap a slow one ha may beat it to first.
"But not If they cross him out!" i
"Sh-sh! Well, well! I thought that
was a rotten decision. Go for him!
Chase him out of the garden! Get a
baby to umpire!"
"Oh. dear, what's the matter. Jimmy?"
"Nothing. That umpire is rotten,
though! Battyl Safe, nothing! Chuck
the game! Walt till the ginks"
"Jimmy, won't he take it back? He
ought to. oughtn't he? But where is
that double-header you said would be
here this afternoon? Is it our mascot?
I suppose It's a. dog or a goat, and I
hate things like that! Who beat that
time?"
"Sh-sh! No one. Line her out, -old
man! That's the dope! You're the real
thingr from Puyallup! Pretty work,
pretty -work!"
"Oh, Jimmy, dear, don't yell so. Thai
woman down there asked you to be quiet,
and everybody's yelling so loud they can't
hear her, and they're waking the baby
and making It cry."
"Gad, I should think when it comes to
a bawl game, a kid would have cards and
spades on the rest of us, with a cold deck
thrown in besides!"
"How can you be so cruel and heart
less, Jimmy? Men are always so selfish.
though, about everything! Just see how
they make those baseball boys play even
when they're sick. Have you noticed
that both of the pitchers have the cramps
terribly? Why, they can hardly straighten
up long enough to toss the ball to the
catcher. I think it's mean to make them
play.'
"Ethel, let me. go get you some popcorn.
or some of those red-hots."
"Oh, no, I might miss some of the game.
ana 1 m Beginning 10 unaerstana it so
bunts are clever, and if a man
Its Cost to the Country in Destruction of Life and Prop
. erty, and the Maiming of Thousands.
OL'NDED &r - A Cannon 0?v(.K(e,
carnival of Tetanus . before the uproar
subsides.
So great are tho abuses that have crept
Into the celebration of the Fourth that
regulating it is as difficult as regulating
the liquor traffip. When the attempt Is
made to regulate the sale and use of fire
works, stupid and absurd measures are
proposed or adoptea. In the City of Chi
cago has been seen the spectacle of Alder
men Introducing Into the Common Coun
cil ordinances making it unlawful for a
minor to discharge fireworks, but permit
ting anyone over 21 years of age to shoot
them off, provided he buys a license! As
If such nn ordinance could be enforced.
It adults have fireworks on the Fourth,
It Is, inevitable that children will also.
Other ordinances limit the number of
days on which fireworks may be sold or
fired off and tho number of inches of
length of firecrackers.
Whereupon the Commissioner of Health
produced statistics showing that there is
no kind of fireworks that 1b safe for chil
dren to play with, that even the small,
two-inch crackers frequently are respons
ible for rases of lockjaw and also set fire
to children's drepses and to property, and
that since 1903 there have been 917 seri
ous accidents reported from firecrackers
as distinct from cannon crackers. In 1907,
31 persons, mostly small children, were
burned to death by fireworks.
The most caution shown In handling
fireworks is the caution Aldermen dis
play toward abolishing the nuisance.
They show great deference to business
Interests by not forbiddltng the sale or
shooting off of fireworks altogether. It
Is a perverted idea of Justice that respects
the interests of manufacturers and deal
ers more than the lives and property of
citizens in general. Many children buy
and play with fireworks who have been
forbidden by their parents to do so. it
Is strange, slnco damage suits are some
times brought against saloons for selling
liquor to drunken husbands and fathers,
that cities and villages are not frequently
sued for damages for allowing explosives
to be sold to children. If tho fireworks
evil cannot be abolished on humanitarian
grounds, perhaps a city might he roused
to action wnen it tceis the dram of dam
age suits In its exchequer.
One frequently hears municipal celebra
tlons with a display of fireworks In tho
public parks advocated. In some cities
they have been tried. It Is found that
the element of danger Is by no means
eliminated in public celebrations. There
have been a number of instances of late
In which the supply of fireworks collected
for a display before a large assemblage
of people accidentally was ignited and
the fire scattered Into the crowd, and a
panic resulted, for example, in Wau
kegan and Oreenwich, Conn. In Green
wich, as reported in the New York
Tribune $1000 worth of fireworks exploded
at one time at the Indian Harbor Yacht
Club in tho midst of a crowd of 1000 peo
ple in Doats ana on snore. In. Oakland.
Oal.. a woman and her child were in
stantly killed by the explosion of a
mortar in which some pyrotechnics were
being set off before thousands of specta
tors who had gathered on tho lake shore
to see the display. Pieces of iron were
well. Jimmy, how many points does It
count when one of our boys gets a bast
on bunts?"
"Sh-sh, I can't tell you now. 'Bugs' i
up. Watch the game I"
""Well, I do; but I can't see all the fln
point. I wish I'd brought my opera
glasses. They say that boy trying to
knock the ball now has a hole In his bat, '
but I can't see It. I should think those
men sitting over on the bunkers would
have the sun In their eyes, so they
couldn't see anything. What was it you
said? You talked so low I couldn't hear.
Oh, that's the only place to enjoy th
game? Well, I don't mind the sun sc
much, Jimmy. My hat comes down all
around, you know, so I'll go over thcra
with you, for this seat seems sort of
shaky. Oh, don't you want to? Well,
you are certainly changeable, Jimmy."
A moment's silence, while Jimmy chew
hard on his cigar, and the teams changi.
innings. "Now. it's our Infleld again '
Isn't It? Who beat that time?"
"Be quiet. Ethel. Come, now, Johnson,
give us a homer! Hit her right on th
nose! By Jove, if he didn't! What ft
wallop! That gives us the game. Ow'
Ow! Ow!"
Every one jumped up in wild enthu
siasm, cheering and stamping. Biff'
Bang! Ethel's seat collapsed, suckint
her almost out of sight, for her scream
were unnoticed in the general hubbub.
Fortunately, Jimmy looked around jusv
in time &nd pulled her up with one hand,
still waving his hat ecstatically with th
other.
"Oh. Jimmy, what was that?"
"Nothing, nothing; just tho close of th
game. Ow! Ow!"
"The close of the game? Oh-h-h-. is it
always like that?"
"Sure, sure! Say, Travis, wasn't that
bully finish? Ow-wow!"
"Jimmy. I don't like the way they finisr
up. Oh, I'm all bruised! I don't want to
come to any more ball games. Oh-h-h!"
Bully for y us, I mean! No, Ethel,
you shan't come to any more ball games.
I'll seo to that! Whoop-la!"
hurled In all directions with terrific force,
one of which tore the woman's heart
from her body.
To rouse a town from apathy it takes
some catastrophe worse than usual, such,
for example, as occurred in Cleveland.
The supply of fireworks in a 5-and-10-cent
store became ignited when it was
filled with shoppers. So many persons
wer killed and injured in tho fire and
panic that followed that the City Council
passea an ordinance oroninitinff fireworks
altogether, except under municipal con
trol in the parks. Owing to the efficiency
of Its Mayor, Toledo for several years
has been free from the curse of the
Fourth. Baltimore hRS llknwis T-w r ry froo
Such terrible associations has the word
fire to San Francisco that the ordinances
against explosives there are strict and
are rigidly enforced, so that on the
Fourth for several years the city has been
"as quiet as on Sunday."
People derive a great deal of pleasure
from celebrating the Fourth with pic
nics, excursions, dancing, ball games, etc.,
together with the reading of the Declara
tion of Independence, patriotic addresses,
decorations with flags and red. white and
blue bunting, and the music of bands
playing National airs In the narks. To
these harmless diversions fire words are
superfluous. It Is fostering a cheap taste
to allow them to be sold. People who
find entertainment in burning up good
money In fireworks ought to he restrained
from their folly. We are shocked by
Spanish bullfights and marvel that such
a brutal and degrading form of entertain
ment is allowed In a civilized country,
hut In our present way of observing our
national holiday we tolerato an evil that
Is much worse. Travelers from foreiim
countries who are here on the Fourth
look upon the day as a day kept In honor
of the American god of noise. Every
year thero is much talk about having a
sane iourtn, but for tho most part it.
turns out to be an Insane one. Tt would
be better by far that celebrations with
fireworks be suppressed altogether and
the matter settled ones and for all tim
than that the work of trying to hold It
In check should all have to be done over
again every year.
A Matter of Bit?.
Budapest Correspondence of London Ex
press.
An enterprising woman named Holker
has started a school here where pupils
in nn ages are given a tun course of in
struction In the art of eating.
practical demonstrations are friven in
ordinary table manners, hut the chief aim
of the establishment is to teach the
Ignorant how to deal successfully with
such dishes as they have never even
heard of.
"Who dofs not recollect in his experi
ence moments of unspeakable anguish."
asks Frau Hoiker. "when at a dinner
nnrtv be flnr! that ( i..i... v. i i.njrA
and 1 fork for a dish that only requires
a spoon, or vice versa? It Is to save mon
and women from these little tragedies
that I have opened my school."
Examinations are to be held at the end
of each term, when the students will he
requested to attack an array of unknown
delicacies set before them. Those who
undergo the ordeal successfully will ob
tain a certificate from Frau Hoiker.
which will enable them to face any ban
quet without flinching.
diaries II, lioyal Jockey.
Ijondon Globe.
Keen sportsman that he Is. we are not
likely, it is to be feared, ever to see hi.1
present Majesty emulating the perform
ances of Charles II on the turf. That
active monarch not only went racing in
the ordinary sense, but rode his own
horses at Newmarket, and is said to have
been a most favorable jockey. His suc
cesses may very well have been quite
genuine, for Old Rowley was by common
consent tiie best horseman in his own
dominions.
The Homesrekem.
(Nw York Times.-)
In tbe Ftreet of Bye-and-Bye.
When the air-ships mount and ly,
V"u and I will ko home huntlnc.
Ther are mansions in the sky;
You and I and Baby Buntins
Heavenward a home will try.
Whore tlie landlords are good angfla.
And no rentals make us ein.
In the ky of Bye-and-Bye.
In the heavens we will fly.
You and I star daisies hunting
When the evening shades are nigh;
You and I and Baby Bunting
Flowers of gold will tlnd on high
Where the gardeners are angels
And no florists cll and buy.
Oa the planet Bye-and-Bye
We sbaU live and never die.
There is respite from home hunting
Many millions miles on high;
You and I and Baby Bunting
Ireamly will float and fly .
Kartb will be "TO I.ET" to others
In the coming Bye-and-Bye.
T
T