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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 14, 1909)
3 TTJE SUXDAT OREGOXIAN, PORTLAND, FEBRUARY 1909. IRVINC .S.C0B! mm aim m mi MWiiM LAWo "Wot B'ye think about this here Un written Law?" asked the House Detec tive. "Who Teddy?" said the Hotel Clerk, "or do you mean the other Unwritten I-aw thafa been adopted as a First Aid to Murder?" 'I jpu nieanin' the other kind." ex plained the House Detective. "Wot ye think of it?" "Well, that depends." said the Hotel Clerk. "Not having shot anybody lately my mind Is still open to conviction either way or both ways. But if the painful duty had devolved upon me of working Feven or eight of thoso neat Colt's 45 caliber buttonholes in some fellow citi zen's clothes while he was stiU wearing the clothes. I would undoubtedly bo cheering for the Unwritten I-aw in a clear, piercing tone of voice. "I've noticed. Larry, that the people who've suffered the abrupt loss of rela tives or close friends through the oper ation of the Unwritten Law in connec tion with an automobile gun or some thing of that sort, are not, as a rule, highly enthusiastic over its workings. But. of course, they are apt to be more or less prejudiced, and judging by the majority of the verdicts here lately, these entiments cannot bo shared by the citi zens at large, not to fay the murderers at large, that being the gratifying state In which most of our best-known mur derers find themselves at this present writing. " 'Twuz some Southern Judge wot first et up the Unwritten Law. wuzn't it?" asked the House Detective. "I think maybe it was," said the Hotel Clerk. "But since 'twas brought East we've added eo many modern improve ments that lt'a own father wouldn't know It now if he met it in the nuditia of the Big Road. Tlie hot-blooded Southerner was more or less primitive in his appli cation of It, and besides he went on that arreat underlying principle of all North American homiciding events that the dead man must have been to blame any how or he wouldn't be so dead, so let's kindly give everybody else a clean bill of health and go home from the Court house rejoicing. "But. by broadening it out so as to make it Justifiable to shoot n man for writing mash notes to your wife or some body else's wife, or for having pink side whiskers, or for wearing a lavender tie with a green Test, or for putting on tan hoes with a dinner coat, or for a great variety of other eauses, we've given the Unwritten Law a great boost with all classes. Larry. Burglary Is still regarded as a debased calling, unless ;urhued in connection with a railroad merger or a National bank: in which event it isn't burglary any more, but modern finance, and yegginen are deservedly unpopular as a group because of their untidy per SAY. what do you make out of this plute-huntin' business, anyway? Has the biff-money bunch got us down on the mat with our wind shut oft and our pockets Inside out; or is it just campaign piffle? Are we ghost dancin', or waltz dreamin', or what? It sure has me twisted up for fair, and I don't know whether I stand with the crim inal rich or the predatory poor. That's all on account of a little mix up I was rung into at the Hotel Per zazzer the other day. I've been thinkin It over since, and it's left me with my feet in the air. No, you didn't read anything about it, in the papers. But say, there's more goes on in. one of them big Joints every week than would fill a whole issue. Look at the population we've got over two thousand, countin' the help! Why, drop us down somewhere out in Iowa, and spread us around In separ ate houses, and there'd be enough to call for a third-class postmaster, a po lice force and a board of trade. Bunched the way we are, all up and down 17 stories, with every cubic foot accounted for, we don't cut much of a figure except on the checkbooks. You hear about the Perzazzer only when some swell gives a fancy blowout, or a ajuest gets frisky In the public dining room. , And anything in the shape of noise aoon has the muffler put on It- We've got a whole squad of husky, two-handed, aoft-apokeis gents who don't have anything else to do. 'and our champeen ruction extinguisher is Danny Reardon. To see him strollin' through the cafe, you might think he was a corporation lawyer studyin" how to spend his next fee- but let some ambitious wine-opener put on the loud pedal, or have Danny get his eye on some Bridgeport dress maker drawin" designs of the latest Paris fashions in the tearoom, and you'll see him wake up. Nothing seems to sret by blm. So I wae some surprised to find him havin" an argument wilh a couple of parties away up on our floor. Anyone could see with one eye that they was a pair of butt-Ins. The tall, smooth faced gent In the black frock coat and the white tie had sky pilot .wrote all over him; and the Perzazzer ain't just the place an out-of-town minister would pick out to stop at. unless he wanted to blow a years salary into a week's board. Anyway, his runnin' mate was a dead elve awav. He looked like he might have just left a bench In tne Oriental lodglng-house down at Chatham Square. He's a thin, gawky, pale-haired youth, with tired eyes and a limp lower Jaw that leaves his mouth half open all the time: and his costume looks like it had beenTnade up from back-door con tributions a faded coat three sizes too small, a forty fat vest, and a pair of rhiny Mack whipcord pants that some one had been married in about twenty years back. What gets me is why such a speci men should be trailin' around with a clean, decent-lookin' chap like this min ister Maybe that's why I come to take any notice of their little debate. There's some men. though, that you al ways give a second look at. and this minister gent was one of that kind. It wa'n't until I see how he tops Danny by a head that I notices how well built he Is- and I figures that if he was only in condition, and knew how to handle himself, he could put up a good lively scrap. Something about his jaw hints tat to me: but of course, him bein' a Bible-pounder, I don't expect anything of the kind. "Yes I understand all that." Danny was teilln' Mm: "but you'd better come down to the office, just the same." "My dear man." says the minister, I Jiave'been to the office, as I told you be fore, and I could get no satisfaction there. The person I wish to see is on the ninth floor. They say he is out. I doubt It: and. as I have come 600 miles Just to have a word with him, I insist n m cnnre -8urel" ay DaoDjr. "Xou'll get your ft sSr - v i it iii i i ii i 11 u in 1EADINS f RECOMMEND CATCH IN TOUR. VICTIM Ovi r sonal habits and bad table manners. But under the new dispensation, murder is rapidly becoming our commonest com plaint and our National pastime, and our great combination in and outdoor sport all at the same time. "You don't need to worry about an alibi any more. Alibis always were uncertain anyway, and liable to bog down in the middle at an unexpected moment. You don't need to waste your coin on alien ists, because the best an alienist can guarantee you Is an indefinite trip to the state bug and fish hatchery. You don't even have to spend time and money proving to the satisfaction of the jury that the deceased came to his death by catching cold from the draught that blew through some pistol holes In iiim or tnat ne succumoeu tumiiiv - chance, only It's against the rules to allow strangers above the ground floor. Now, vou come along with me and you'll be all right." With that Danny gets a grip on the gent s arm ana blb.i u to walk him to the elevator. But he - cm tar The next thins Danny knows he's been sent spinnin' against the other wall. course, no v. t lookin' for any such move; but It was done slick and prompt. "Sorry," says the minister, shovln his cuffs back in place: "but I must ask you to keep your hands oft." I see what Danny was up to then. He looks as cool as a soda fountain; but he's red behind his ears, and he's fishin' the chain nippers out of his side pocket. I knows that in about a min ute the gent In the frock coat will have both hands out of business. Even at that. It looks like an even bet, with somebody gettln' hurt more or less. And blamed if I didn't hate to see that spunkv minister get mussed up. Just for objectin' to taking the quiet run out, so I pushes to the front. "Well, well!" says I, shovln' out a hand to the parson, as though he was some one I'd been lookin' for. "So you showed up, eh?" "Why," says he "why er "Yes. I know," Bays I. leadln him olT. "You can tell me about that later. Bring your friend right in; this is my door. It's all right. Danny; mistakes will happen." And before any of 'em know3 what a up. Danny is left outside with his mouth open, wliile I've towed the pair of strays Into our stttin' room, and shooed Sadie out of the way. The minister looks kind of dazed; but he keeps his head well. , , . T "Really." says he, gazln around, l am sure thero must be some misunder standing." , "You bet." says I, "and it was gettln worse every minute. About two shakes more, and you'd been the center of a local disturbance that would have landed you before the police sergeant. "Do you me.-.n." says he, "that I can not communicate with a guest in this hotel without being liable to arrestr "That's the size of it,' says I. "Dannv had the bracelets all out. The conundrum is, though, why I should do the goat act, instead of lettln" you two mix it up? But that's what happened, and now I guess it s up to you to give an account." "H'm." says he. "It isn't quite clear; but I Infer that you have, in a way. made yourself responsible for me. May I ask whom I have-to thank for " I'm Shorty McCabe." says I. "Oh!" says ho. "It seems to me I ve heard " -Xothln' like bein' well advertised, says I. "Now. how about you and this'" With that I points to the speci men In the castoffs, that was givln' an Imitation of a flytrap. I was a little crisp, I admit; but I'm gettin' anxious to know where I stand. The minister lifts his eyebrows some, but proceeds to hand out the Informa tion. "My name is Hooker," says he, "Samuel Hooker." "Preacher?" says I. Ye-es. a poor one," says he. 'Where? Well, in the neighborhood of Mossy Dell. Pennsylvania." "Out in the celluloid collar belt, eh?' says I. "This ain't a deacon. Is it?" and I jerks my thumb at the fish-eyed one. "This unfortunate fellow," says he, droppin' a hand on the object's shoulder, "is one of our Industrial products. His name is Kronacher, commonly called Dummy." x "I can guess why," says I. But now let's get down to how you two happen to be loose on the seventh floor of the Perzazzer and so far from Mossy Dell." The Reverend Sam says there ain't any great mystery about that. He come on here special to have -a talk with a party by the name of Rankin, that he understood was stoppin' here. "You don't mean Bobby Brut, do you?" say a I. . . . i v . ir l?,nli.n 1.t TliA vnllnff - iiuuci i .....- ' J man's name, I believe," aaya ke, "son .1 .v fection of the heart, with which th mere incidental fact of your having shot a largo, ragged crevice in his diaphragm had absolutely nothing to do. "Yes, sir, Larry, the unwritten law corrects these defects in the old-fashioned style of defense. It covers all the con tingencies. It wouldn't do to try to write It now, because with all its phases prop erly treated 'twould make a volume like the record In a Government suit against the Standard Oil Company. There are so many different methods of execution, too, andi that commends it to the careful and discriminating killer. Some of the lead ing authorities favor catching your vic tim while he's sitting on a roof garden looking at a play, and some insist that you can get the best general results by surprising mm w nen ne s in a. unhh Pr?OF ELISOR . V. . -X S II'. I a I ' W 1 III ... ..... o?' '9 ' t ' I I . -ygter- V - I e 'Z-tJk 11 ,1 I t VSi X U III i ft I 11 II 1- A. MENTAL IMILAITY AND CONTEST of the late Loring Rankin, president of the Consolidated " "That's Bobby Brut," saya L "Don't catch onto the. Brut, eh? You would If you read the champagne labels. Friend of yours, is he?" But right there the Rev. Mr. Hooker turns balky. He hints that his business with Bobby is private and personal, and he ain't anxious to lay it before a third party. He'd told 'em the same at the desk, when some one from Bobbies rooms had 'phoned for details about the card, and then he'd got the turn-down. But he wa'n't the kind lhat stayed down. He's goin' to sea Mr. Rankin or bu'st. Not wantin" to ask for the elevator, he Llar.f aheaJ upstairs; and Daany, it seems, hadn't got on his track until he was well started. "All I ask," says he, "is five minutes of Mr. Rankin's time. That Is not an unreasonable request, I hope?" "Excuse me," says I; " but you're missin' the point by a mile. It ain't how long you want to stay, but what you're here for. You got to remember that things Is run different on Fiftn ave. from what they are on Penrose st.. Mossy Dell. You might be a boob: agent, or a bomb-thrower, for all the folks at the desk know. So the only way to get next to anyone here is to show your hand and take the decision. Now if you want to try runnin' the outside guard again. I'll call Danny back. But you'll make a mess of it. H thinks that over for a minute, lookin' me square in the eye all the time, and all of a sudden he puts out his hand. "You're right! says he. "I was hot headed and let my zeal get the better of my common sense. Thank you. Mr. McCabe." , That's all right," says I. You go down to the office and put your case to "em straight." "No," says he, shruggin' his shoul ders "that wouldn't do at ail.. I sup pose I've come on a fool's errand. Kronacher. we'll go back." "That's too lad," says I, "if you had business with Bobby that was on the level." '"Since you've been so kind," says he, "perhaps you would give me your opin ion If I am not detaining you?" "Spiel away!" says I. "Til own up you've got me some Interested. ' WelI, sav. when he'd described his visit as a 'dippy excursion, he wasn't far off. Seems that this Rev. Sam Hooker ain't a reg'lar preacher, with a stained-glass window church, a steam heated parsonage, and a settled job. He's sort of a Gospel promoter, that goes around plantin' churches here and tnerehome missionary, he calls it, though I always thought a home mis sionary was one that was home from China on a half-pay visit. Mainly he says he drifts around through the coke oven and gas works district, where all the Polackers and other dagoes work. He don't let it go with preachln" to 'era, though. He pokes around among their shacks, seein' how they live, sendin doctors for sick babies, givin' the women folks hints on the use of fresh air and hard soap, an' advising 'era to keep their kids In school. He's one of them strenuous chaps, too. that believes in stirriiV up a fuss whenever he runs across anything he thinks is wrong. One ot the fights he's making Is some thing about the boys in the glass works. "Perhaps you have heard of our ef forts to have a child labor bill passed In our atater' aaya k. auit armed with nothing but the key to the bathhouse door. But there's at least one old-fashioned firm who says that if you can slip up behind the other fellow when he's talking to a lady on the street, and plug him- in the rear collar button with a soft-nose bullet, it's Just the same as melding a hundred aces. So, you see. all you ve got to oo is to pay your 3HOI?TY "No," saya I; "but I'm against It There's enough kids has to answer the mill whistle, without passln' laws to make 'em." Then he explains how the bill is to keep 'em from goin' at it too young, or workin" too many hours on a stretch. Course, I'm with him on that, and says so. "Ah!" says he. "Then you may be Interested to learn that younc Mr. Rankin is the most extensive employer of child labor in our state. That is what I want to talk with him about." "Ever see Bobby?" says L He says he hasn't, "Know anything of his habits, and so on?" I asks. "Not a thing," says the Rev. Sam. "Then you take it from me," says I, "that you ain't missed much." See? I couldn't go all over that record of Bobby Brut's, specially to a preacher. Not that Bobby was the worst that ever cruised around the Milky Way In a sea goin' cab with his feet over the dasher; but he was some thing of a torrid proposition while he lasted. You remember some of hi3 stunts, maybe? I hadn't kept strict 7 '. HIS MATE and take your choice, and you can't go far wrong if you pick the right kind of a lawyer." "Why will a jury fall for the Unwritten Law guff when it's simply a case of cold blooded killin'?" Inquired the Hotel Clerk. "Well, it's customary for a Jury to fall lilnir T.nrrv " fin id the Hotel Clerk, "and I suppose It might Just as PRESENTS tabs on Mm; but I'd heard that after they chucked him .out of the sanato rium his mother planted him here, with a man nurse and a private doctor, and slid oft to Europe to stay with her son-in-law Count until folks forgot aljout Bobby. And this was the youth the Rev. Mr. Hooker had come to have a heart to heart talk with! "Ain't you takln' a lot of trouble. Just for a few Polackers?" says I. "They are my brothers," says he, quiet like. "What!" says I. "You dont look it. His mouth corners flickers a litle at that and there comes a glimmer In them solemn gray eyes of his; but he goes on to say that it's part of his be lief that every man Is his brother. "Gee!" says I. "You've adopted a big fam'ly." But say, he's so dead in earnest about It, and he talks so sensible about other things besides appearin' so white clear through, that I can'.t help likln' the CU"Look here!" says I. "This Is way out of my line, and It strikes me as a WAS A DEtB GIVK AWAY well be a nice poetical, romantic, char- lotts russa plea, euch as the Unwritten Law that takes all the pressure oft the brain, instead of a complicated defense like emotional insanity or dementia prae oox, that's full of words that sound like the names of sleeping cars and requires mora or less thinking. Anyway, there's something about getting on a jury in a murder trial that appears to upset the human intellect and leave It in the de plorable state of a capsized cup custard. You take the average Juror before he gets to be a juror and let him be in his real estate office or his shoe store, or his delicatessen shop or his what not, transacting the ordinary affairs of life. And then let a gentleman step inside in a frock coat, with a law book under his arm and as a preliminary to buying a lot or a pair of felt insoles or a liver wurst or something, let this gentleman lead off with a two-hour oration touching on the inherent love of home antl coun try which burns in every human breast or should do so, unless the flue is defec tive, and then go on to speak of The Flag, The Ger-and Old. Fer-lae, and the Billowy Blue Canopy of Heaven and the Bill of Bights and Paul Revere's Ride and the Last Days of Pompeii, and a few other perfectly pertinent topics. What would the proprietor of said premises do? Would he 6tand for. it? He would not. He'd either call for the watch or else he'd slam the Young Man Eloquent in his vociferating map with some of the portable desk fixtures. "But when he's up for jury-service, it's different. A Deputy Sheriff wearing a made tie comes round and summons him and he goes to a courthouse and sits in a corridor where the wind blows free for a couple of days waiting for his turn. Then he mounts the witness stand and holds up his right hand and a court at tendant says three hurried grunts in the Choctaw language, this being the sol emn ceremony called administering the oath. After which he sits down in an exposed place where several hundred strangers can look at him and wonder why ho wears that kind of whiskers. And while the sketch artists are drawing criminal libels of him, the lawyers on both sides and the Judge take turns ask ing him if he reads the papers, and if so. why, and has he got any opinions on this subject, or any other subject, and does he keep a cow, and did he ever vote the Hearst ticket, and are any of, his children redheaded, and other sim ilar questions; all this being done, d'ye understand, with a view to ascertaining whether he ought to serve in a murder trial. But after suffering great pain for awhile, he qualifies, and the Judge tells him that he is performing the highest duty of citizenship and that a great trust has been Imposed upon him, and then, to show he means It, orders the Sheriff to lock him and his eleven fellow-male factors up very tight and keep an eye on them night and- day. "Well, after eight or nine weeks the prisoner's available cash begins to run low, and his learned counsel qeciaes u s batty proposition anyway; but iZ you're still anxious to have a chin with Bob by, maybe I can fix it." "Thank you, thank you!" says he, glvin' me the gTateful grip. It's a good deal easier than I'd thought. All I does is get one of Bob by's retinue on the house 'phone, tell who I am, and say I was thinkin' of droppin' up with a couple of friends for a short call, if Bobby's agreeable. Seems he was, for Inside of two min utes we're on our way up in the ele vator. Got any Idea of the simple way a half-baked young plufe cn live In a place like the Perzazzer? He has one floor of a whole wing cut oft for his special use about 20 rooms, I should judge and there was hired hands standln' around in every corner. We're piloted in over the Persian rugs, with the preacher bllnkin' his eyes to keep from seein" some of the statuary and oil paintin's At last we comes to a big room with an eastern exposure, furnished like a show window. Sittin' at a big mahog any desk in the middle is a narrow browed, pop-eyed, bat-eared young chap in a padded silk dressln' gown, and I remembers him for the Bobby Brut I used to see floatin' around with the Trixy-Madges at the lobster pal aces. He has a couple of decks of cards laid out in front of him and I guess he's havin' a go at Canfield solitaire. Behind his chair stands a sour-faced lackey who holds up his hand for us to wait. Bobby don't look up at all. , He's shiftin' the cards around, tryin' to make 'em come out right, doln' it quick and nervous. All of a sudden the lackey claps his hand down on a pile and says, "Beg pardon, sir; but you can't do that." ; "Blast you!" snarls Bobby. And I was just getting it.! Why didn't you look the other way? Bah!" and he sends the whole lot flyin' on the floor. Do you catch on? . He has the lackey there to see that he don't cheat him self. But while the help was pickin up the cards Bobby gets a glimpse of our trio, ranged up against the door dra peries. "Hell j'. Shorty McCabe!" he sings out. "It's bully of you to drop in. Nobody comes to see me any more hardly a soul. Say, do you think there's anything the matter with my head?" "Can's say your nut shows any cracks from here," says I. "Who's been teilln' you it did?" "Why, all those blasted doctors." says he. "They won't even let me go out alone. But say." here he beckons me up and whispers mysterious, "I'll fix 'em yet! You Just wait til I get my animals trained. You wait!" Then he claps his hands and hollers, "Atkins! Set 'em going!" Atkins, he stops scrabblih' after the cards and starts around the room. And say, would you believe it, on all the tables and mantelpieces was a lot of those toy animals, such as they sell durin' the holidays. There was lions and tigers and elephants, little and big, and every last one of 'em has Its head balanced so It'l move up and down when you touch it. Atkins' job was to go from one to the other and set 'em bobbin'. Them on the mantels wa'n't more'n a few inches long; but on the floor, hid behind chairs, was some that was life size. One was a tiger, made out of a real skin, and when hi3 head goes his Jaws open and shut, and his tail lashes from side to side, as natural as life. Say, it was weird to watch that collection, all nod din' away together almost gave you the willies! "Are they all going?" says Bobby. "Yes, sir," says Atkins, standin' at tention. "What do you think, eh?" says Bob ble, half shuttin' his pop eyes and starin' at me, real foxy. "Great scheme!" say3 I. "Didn't know you had a private zoo up here. But say, I brought along come one that time to close the case. So he makes tha same summing-up speech that had long gray hair when the late Coke began the study of law. We've had improvements .in everything else In the world, this last fifty years, except the speech that a lawy yer makes to a jury In a murder trial. Probably it gave satisfaction the first .time, arid nobody has seen fit to change it since. It's partly the language of flowers and partly the defendant's little chi-eld and partly the flora and fauna of this hemisphere and partly the Dec laration of Independence, and at rare in tervals a little something, maybe, about the case itself. To you or me, Larry, sit ting at a safe distance, it sounds like the distressing symptoms of a man who's swallowed Webster's Unabridged and has then been seized with violent nausea, but If we're on a Jury we sit there in the Jury box, our laces ajar and our orbs bulged out, wearing the bright intelli gent expressions of a school of gosgle eyed perch and just sopping it up through every pore. "So the Judge charged the jury in lan guage that was expressly thought up by the Supreme Court with a view to keep ing anybody from understanding a blamrd thing about it. Now comes the Momentous Moment when the Fate of the Accused la Put in the Hands of His Twelvo Jurors see any reliable newspaper headline. Thn Jurors retire. The prisoner endures the frightful strain as best he may by taking a refreshing nap in the sheriff's office, and the alert young reporters, ever upon the qui vive to catch the faintest rumor, go off somewhere and play 2'i-cent limit poker. And thus the breathless world awaits the verdict. "And what do the conscientious and in telligent jurors do? I'll tell you what they do, Lurry. They go into the jury room and after the foreman has looked at his watch to see when he c;ui catch a train for home, somebody says: 'Why should we mix into this unhappy affair? The prisoner at the bar never did any thing to us. They say hanging is painful in the extreme and the chair not rnueh better. Besides deceased mteht havo been dead anyhow by now he lived on an au tomobile road and took patent medUine, as the evidence showed. So it being non of our business anyw ay, I move tiiat wo Just let the matter drop.' 'But how'il we do it?' asks one of these overly particular Jurors who sometimes keep a murder jury out for as long as an hour and a half. 'We'll lay it on the Unwritten Law," says the quick-witted foreman. 'Fine,' says the first speaker. 'Let us now give three cheers for the dear old Unwritten Law.' And In 15 minutes from that time. Larry, the acquitted man, with the glad cries of the local populace ringing in his grateful ears and the tears of vindication still damp upon his cheeks, is on his way to the nearest hardware stores to see what improvements the Smith & Wesson people have thought up while he was in jail." "Sometimes it seems to me like It might be a good idea to lynch a few murderers," said the House Detective. "Or a few jurors." said the Hotel Clerk. wants to have a littie chat with you." Wrlth that I hauls the Reverend Sam to the front and gfves him the nudge to Are away. And say, he's all primed! He begins by giv-in' Bobbie a word pic ture of the Rankin glass works at night, when the helpers are carry! n" the trays from the hot room, where the blowers work three-hour shifts, with the mercury at one hundred and twenty, to the coolin' rom, where it's like a cellar. He tells him how many helpers there are, how many hours they work a day, and what they get for It. It didn't make me yearn for a job. "And here," says the Rev. Mr. Hook er, pullin' the Dummy up by the sleeve, "is what happens. This boy went to work In your glass factory when he was 13. He was red-cheeked, clear eyed, then, and he had 'a normal brain. He held his job six years. Then he was discharged. Why? Because he wasn't of any more use. Ho was all Jn, the Juice sapped out of him. as dry as a last year's cornhusk. Look at him! Any doubt about his being used up? And what happened to him is hap pening to thousands of other boys. So I have come here to a.k you, Mr. Ran kin, if you are proud of turning out. such products? Aren't you ready to stop hiring 13-year-old boys for your works?" Say. it was straight from the shoul der, that talk no flourishes, no fine words! And what do. you guess Bobby Brut has to say? Not a blamed thing! I doubt if he heard more'n half of It, anyway; for he's got his eyes set on that pasty face of Dummy Kronacher and Is foilowin' his motions. The Dummy ain't payln' any atten tion to the speech, either. He's got sight of all them animals with their heads bobbin', and a .silly grin spreads over his face. First lie slides over to the mantel and touches up one that was about stopped. Then he sees an other, and starts that off again, and by the time Hooker is through the Dum my Is as busy and eonten'ed as you please. kee,pin' them tigers and things movin'. "Well?" says the Reverend Sam. "Eli?" says Bobby, tearln' his eyes , off the Dummy. "Were you saying something about the glass works? Beastly bnre! I never go near them. But say! I want that chap over there. I want to hire him. What's his name?" "Dummy Kronacher," says theRev. Sam. comln' out strong on the first word. "Good!" says Bobbie. "Hey, Dum my' What will yon take to stay here with me and do that righf along?" Dummy has just discovered a stuffed alligator that can snap its Jaws and wiggle its tail.. He only looks up and grins. "I'll make it a hundred a month, says Bobbie. "Well, that's settled. Atkins, you're fired! And say. McCabe. I must show this new man how I want this business done. You and your friend run in some other time, will you?" "But." says Hooker, "can't you do . something about those helpers? Won't . you promise to " "No!" snaps Bobby. "I've no time to bother with such things. Atkins, show 'em out!" Well, we went. We goes so sudden the Rev. Earn forgets about leavln' tha Dummy until we're outside, and then he's for goin' back after him. "What for?" says I. "That pair'll get along fine; they're two of a kind." "I guess you're right." says he. "And it's something to have brought j those two together. Perhaps some ; one will see the significance of It, some day." Now what was he drivin at then? , You can search me. AH I've been able to make out of It Is that what ails the poor Is poverty, and the trouble with the plutes is that they've got too much. Eh? Barney Shaw said something like that, too? Well, don't let on T agree with him. He might get chesty. (Copyright by the Associated Sunday ilagazines, Ino.