SUNDAY OREGOXIAN", PORTLAND, JANUARY
1909.
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4 f PETE prosperity has been restored,"
I said the Hotel Clerk of the St.
Reckless.
"You must have the rood eyesight,"
aid the House Detective, t ain't noticed
It."
"Oh. but It ha," said the Hotel Clerk.
"Surest thing you know. Didn't you read
about the dinner that young Mr. F. Au
gustus Helnte gave and about the dinners
that other members of the smart setot
to mention the smarty set, are giving;
from tlmo to time. Yes. sir, prosperity
has certainly been restored. True she
suffered a few Injuries and got dented
tip some during her absence and she's
com-? back to us looking like the Venus
d9 Milo. who was a Grecian lady that
passed through a sawmill disaster, Larry,
but Just j ou leave F. Augustus and the
rest of them alone a Uttle while and
they'll have her not only restored but
walking the high wire In the main tent
and doubling In a song and danoe turn
f-r the concert performance on the
elevated stage: persons remaining to be
allowed to sit tn the reserved seat
section and the animals fed after
wards. Keep your eye on F. Augustus.'
"Wot wuz it you said he doner said
the Houm Detective. "Sbems like to
rno the last time I read about Heinre a
Federal grand Jury wus only about a
lap and a half behind him."
"That was some time back," said the
Hotel Clerk. "You see, it was like this,
A year or so ago young Mr. Heinxs
rame out of the West, In a private car
with his feet up on the cushions, smoking
a yellow cigar that looked like a paste
board mailing tube, his purpose being to
Introduce a few desirable innovations Into
our financial system. There was .nothing
revolutionary or spectacular about his
way of Introducing himself to Wall
Htreet He merely appeared there very
quietly one morning about the time the
boys In the Stock Exchange were mix
ing: the mint sauce for the Spring Iambi
that woul.. be along In a little while.
He came riding on a steam calliope,
with his pants tucked Into a pair of
hip boots like the villain wears at the
beginning of the second act. waving a
elf-cocklng copper combine In one
liand and an automatic rapid-fire Na
tional bank In the other, and followed
by a full brass band of 40 pieces, main
ly tubas and bass drums. In a low,
soft, purring tone that sounded a good
deal like Wallace the Untamable, when
they rub the raw meat across the bars
of his cage, he stated his name and
Intentions, and then opened up for
business.
"Well, for a while all went well. But
there were a lot of gentlemen of seri
ous demeanor and settled habits down
there that didn't seem to care deeply
for Mr. Heinze's boisterous Butte ways.
They thought he was too much to the
kfary McLane. and they'd always leaned
rather toward Henry James. They were I
Loss by Drought in New England States
Second Crop of Hay a Failure Fanners Becklessly Sell Cattle Stoppage of Paper-Mill Machinery Along Con
necticut River Valley Deforestation Object-Lessons.
tTftt3 Is the worst drought I ever see
I in all my life." The above remark
was overhead by the writer the other
day as he was walking along a country
road In northern Vermont. The speaker
was a man of about 45 years of age,
who was addressing a white-haired citl
aen, bent and very aged, who leaned
v.pon a garden gate In the sunshine. "In
all your life!" sneered the old man.
"Why, you hain't be'n ft llvin' very long.
If you'd be'n around here about 10
yars afore you wus born you'd ft seen
a cry spell that 'ud make this here one
look like a flood. Why. they wafn't no
hay crop 't all to speak of, and folks
as wus lucky enough to own any timber
rut down trees bo's the cattle could
browse on the leaves. Cattle wus mighty
cheap thm days some folks couldn't
give 'em away. I bought ft horse for a
dollar a good horse. We had ft little
old hay laid by and managed to keep
him. I sold him next Spring for a hun
dred and twenty-five."
With due respect to the old gentleman,
and the "dry spell." which harassed New
England ebout the middle of last cen
tury. It Is submitted that this present
drought Is extraordinary and severe.
It has not been a local matter, this
scarcity of water; It has been felt not
only throughout New England, but in the
middle and central states as well, and
It Is not unlikely that later on the great
er part of the country will be Indirectly
affected by It.
In the meantime most of our springs
and wells have dried up. streams and
ponds have become so shallow that fish
l ave perished In great numbers, pastures
have been literally burned up. crops have
keen destroyed, manufacture has been de
layed, and man and beast generally have
been put to vast inconvenience In ft great
variety of ways.
Fortunate) Boston.
Boaton has been peculiarly fortunate In
that she suffered comparatively little
tliat Is, directly from the effects of the
recent drought. Although the rainfall
has been the lightest since the United
ftatee Weather Bureau was established
here thlrty-soven years ago. there has
been an abundant supply of water for
all purposes, and it Is estimated that In
the reservoirs of the metropolitan water
ystem there Is enough to last for at
least a year, even If we don't get an
other drop of rain during that time.
Not so with other parts of New Eng
land. The writer had been In the West
til Summer and Autumn, end. although
lie had ;ieard many reports of the
drought, he. like many another, failed to
appreciate the gravity of the situation
until he returned to his home in Merl
Atn. N. H.. about the 1st of November.
Hoth the wells, whlcn usually supplied
tae house, neither of which had ever
been known to fall, had gone dry months
before, and water for drinking and bath
ing had to be brought a few pints at
Jme from a shallow spring a quarter
of ft mile from the house. The devolop
ruiit of seven or eight hundred photo
graphic plates brought back from the
"West v as a cheer Impossibility under the
r'rcumsiances, and after vainly n waiting
the needed rain until the lust possible mo
imrt the first person singular fled to
this city.
As Seen in ft Series of Trips.
Since then on ft recent lecture trip I
have visited other parts of New England,
where the conditions were as bad or
worse. In journeying from point to point
there would be seen every now and then
a stream, or, rather, the bed of a stream,
with ft thin trickle of water sneaking in
and out among the stones, as If afraid
mt being detected. At another point would
accustomed to wear goioshes during
business hours, and they'd been dodg
ing the Department of Justice so long
that sidestepping was their natural
gait. It was only to be expected that
they'd feel a natural distrust for a
young man who opened up for business
of a morning with a noise like some
body shooting an oil well, even though
ho had dark curling hair and winning
wavs. But In accordance with the
kindly customs of their kind, they man
aged to conceal their true feeling from
him all the time tnat they were under
mining his subcellar and slipping the
ground-up lamp chimney Into his flour
barrel and disconnecting the burglar
system on his pantry window. Then
one sunny afternoon, when everything
was ready, they backed him up against
the palings and took all; bis marbles
away from him, and along about the
same time the Federal grand Jury
clubbed In and made him a present of
quite a. batch of indictments.
"I won't deny that Mr. Hclnzo was
depressed for a while. This wasn't
like the vaunted Eastern hospitality of
which he'd heard out In his primitive
Montana cot, or when he was down
deep In his i.-.tne sinking his sturdy
pick Into the virgin copper and Senator
Clark. Nobody ever exactly caught
him in the act of hating himself, but
even so, he was quite put out for a
while. But here the other day he no
ticed that the clouds of depression were
lifting. Prosperity was peering over
the horizon, with a golden smile on her
face, as If she'd been eating a custard
pie and forgot to wipe her mouth. So
says F. Augustus to himself, Wot Tell,
Bill. Wot Tell," or words to that effect;
after all. he reflected, the only thing
they can do with an Indictment Is to
try you on It; an Indictment Is not like
one of those combination Jack-knives
that pulls a cork and opens a can of
cove oysters and trims a corn all at
once; its uses are limited to Just the
one tnlng. So let us be heart-free and
gay and blithesome, says Helnze; let us
sing with a fol-de-rol-day r a hey-nlddy-noddy
or whatever Is proper to
sing with under these circumstances.
Let us act as If we'd gone to Harlem
River bridge with 175.000 plurality. And
then. Just to show he meant It, he up
and took and went and gave a little
dinner party that made the best efforts
of the lato Lucullus look like a hobo
sitting on a brakebeam of a furniture
car eating Springfield, Mo., soda biscuit
and cold boiled rice out of a copy of
the War Cry. Anyway, that's what
the papers said about It the next day.
"And since then others of our young
er set have been following suit until
there's hardly an evening that doesn't
have a unique and attractive dinner
party the next morning. Owing to the j
habit which the sun has of coming up J
be dam, the stained boards dry and
warped, and nearby a eilent mill. Or
sometime It was a lake, the water of
which had shrunk and crept far down
from the shore, leaving ft wide stretch
of baked mud in Its wake. Sometimes for
many miles at a time the air would be
hasy with the smoke of distant forest
fires fires made possible, even probable,
by the dry condition of the country. Ex
cept for the unusual precautions taken
by Intelligent people everywhere the for
est fires in New England last Autumn
would have been Incalculably disastrous.
As an example of such precaution might
be mentioned the action of the Governor
of Vermont, who right In the hunting
season put the law on all game for two
weeks, thus keeping the gunners out of
the woods and greatly reducing too dan
ger from foreet firey.
Paper Mills Especially Suffer.
Mcny manufacturing businesses depend
ing on water for any purpose nave been
seriously crippled. Ferhaps the paper
business has suffered as much as any
since In the manufacture of pap?r, par
ticularly the finer grades, large Quantl'
ties of water ore used. The low water
In the Connecticut River has worked
considerable Injury to the paper corapa
nica whose factories are established on
Its banks. At Holyoko recently the mills
have been running only two-thirds time.
and the manufacturers at Windsor Locks
have been having similar trouble. In the
Agawam, on which is located the mills
of the W oronoco. Mitllneague, boutn-
worth. Crane and American Writing Pa
per Companies, the mud banks are visime
M. Bimri.
NEW TORK. Jan. . Spe-
A savage attack on the French
Ambassador to Italy. M. Barrere,
is made by Maximilian Harden In
the Corrlere d'ltalla, an Italian
newspaper of the highest respon
sibility. Harden flatly accuses
Barrere with using his Am
bassadorial privileges to carry on
an extensive trade in smuggling
antiquities out of Italy. Harden
even suggests that Barrere re
ceives no salary from France In
consideration of being allowed to
trade in antiquities.
I 'fKF.SCH AMOASSADOn TO ITALT I
ACCVSKD OF SMUGGLING. J
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tna I., mm j iSiissshsLes nil in sill' !
and the stream may be crossed by
wading. During the early daye of the
drought, the scarcity of water was hardly
felt, for orders were coming in slowly.
But now that business is normal me or
ders are coming In fast, and the scarcity
of water la becoming serious. Where It
Is simply ft matter of getting power, the
mills can be run by steam, but in the
paper business large quantities of water
are needed for tne niters, inousanas oi
paper mill hands are losing at least two
to three days each week owing to lack
of water to work with. Prices, particu
larly of fine quality papers, are high, and
are rolng higher.
At Lewlston, Me., while comparatively
Uttle time has been lost so far, the water
In tiie Androscoggin River Is so low the
owners fear that they will soon have to
shut down. It Is now so late that there
Is little hope for rain, and any precipita
tion In the form of snow will hardly bring
relief before Bpring.
Vermont Farmers Carrying Water
In the vicinity of Newport, Vt., the
writer heard many complaints. The
water of I,ake Champlain waa lower than
It had ever been recorded before; the
streams were either dried up altogether
or greatly reduced In volume, and most
of the wells and springs for many miles
around had long since failed.
Fully half the farmers of Newport,
Coventry and Irasburg wero drawing
water for their stock. In somo cases haul
lng a much as 160 palls a day for long
distances and often up heart-breaking
hills. Sometimes they hauled it In bar
rels, but as a rule In the metal tanks
which they uso for collecting maple sap
in the Spring. And they had been doing
this for two months.
E. B. Watson, superintendent of schools
t Newport, told, me that there had been
much difficulty in obtaining water for or
dinary use in the schools, and that In
some cases special men had been engaged
to do nothing else but carry water to the
sahoolhousc.
Some farmers were driving their ani
mals many miles each day to water, but
In many cases this could not be done, as
the springs were used to supply the fam
ily drinking water, and the owners would
not permit them to be muddled by the
feet of cattle.
In the surrounding towns and villages
conditions were much the same. At Der
by Line, a farmer who owned one of fae
only living springs for mik around, sold
the water at a few cents a pall, not be
cause he wanted to make money out of
his less fortunate neighbors, but In an
effort to check any tendency to waste
fulness and to limit the amount used by
each family. Lindonvllla Is fortunate
enough to have a water system, but I
heard that tho supply had for some time
been so limited that the water was turned
on for 'only 20 minutes each day.
St. Albans, too, has found the drought
expensive. For a time it looked as If sev
eral of tne factories would have to shut
down, but the city came to the rescue by
installing ft pumping apparatus and thus
saved the loss to business. The Central
Vermont Kali road is obliged to draw
waller from Alburg, where It la pumped
out of Lake Champlain.
Professor Joseph L Hills, director of the
Agricultural Experiment Station at Bur
lington, Vt., proved a cheerful aource of
information concerning the effects of the
drought upon agriculture in New Epg-
land. In the iorth and In many other
parts there was absolutely no second crop
of hay. The com crop varied greatly with
the character of the soli. In heavy soils It
grew admirably and matured well. At the
station Itself. Where there was a heavy
clay loam, there was a splendid crop of
corn the best fqr years. In the lighter
soils, however, the corn suffered seri
ously. -
The melon crop was literally the best
ever known, the unusual amount of dry i
TOE
sunshine being just what was needed to
bring melons to perfection. Grapes and
other fruits did well, too, If in reason
ably heavy soil. Fungi of most kinds
were comparatively scarce, and people
fond of mushrooms and the other edible
sorts had to hunt much farther than
usual If they found them at all. Fortun
ately, the drought was Just as hard on
the harmful and pestiferous kinds, and
among other the late pota'j blight was
entirely missing this year. For some
years there has been carried on it the
station an extensive investigation of this
blight, and its absence I waa assured had
been a source of great annoyance to the
scientist having the work In charge.
Of course there was a marked effeot
upon the milk supply throughout the re
gion which suffered from the drought.
The early burning out of the unwatered
pastures caused a shortage of grass.
which In turn caused a shortage of milk. I Bnd that h9 had ,atisfled himself on this
The August supply of milk was the I polnt by investigation and experiment,
smallest In ten years at least, and mat- It un1e about in this way. The pro
ters were correspondingly bad during the IegBOr na1 as usual, been spending his
Autumn months. In many places the price I gumrner vacation on a hiltop in New
or milk and cream nas aireaay aavancea,
and Professor Hills says that It seems to
him that the whole situation must In-
evltably mean higher prices Jot all dairy
products.
The failure of the second hay crop
means something more than a temporary
shrinkage of milk; It means that the
farmers will not have enough food on
which to Winter their cattlo and that
they will be forced to sell if they have
not already done so.
Rushing Cattle Off to Market.
Already In northern New England and
elsewhere there have been large sales of
cattle at lower prices than for 20 years
or more. In fact, there are so many cat
tle thrown upon the market that the
busy drovers are almost everywhere able
to buy at their own figures. Professor
Hills, commenting on this matter, pointed
out to me one grimly humorous aspect of
it. "A rather odd outcome of the situ
ation," said be, "is seen In the present
tremendous call upon the state for the
testing of animals for tuberculosis. We
have on our statute books a law which,
accords a very liberal valuation for
tuberculous stock. At the present
Juncture of short food supply and high
cost of all grains and by-products It
Is positively a money-making opera
tion for a man to have a tuberculous
herd and sell It to the state. I know
of cases where men have been seri
ously disappointed on finding their
herds free from disease, because a sale
to the state would be likely to be
a more satisfactory one than a sale
to the drover. I. know of one man
who, on being congratulated by the
veterinarian on the fact that his herd
was free from tuberculosis, threw up
his hands and said: "Heaven help me:
I must take the drovers' prices.' "
It la obvious to the reader that If a
study of the weather conditions should
give a reasonably early warning of a
coming drought, any unscrupulous
farmer might Inoculate his herd with
tuberculosis and thus Insure himself
a good price for his cattle. On Inquiry
It was learned tnat tnis iaea naa oc
curred to others and that It was prob
able that before long there would be
a new law covering the point. But
whether they are sold to the drovers
or killed and paid for by the state, the
fact remains that the farmers In many
parts of New England are getting rid
of a part or the whole of their cattle.
This can mean but one thing a
marked decrease in dairy products. It
Is estimated that In Vermont, this de
crease will be between one third and
one -half.
Even tho Artists Are Hard Hit.
A visit to the "imous artist colony
at Cornish, N. H-, proved that even
artists, sculptors and literary folk
must have water at times, and I found
one great planter Journeying bravely
over the hills with a little tin can
looking eagerly for something to wet
It in. Another, an author, was cheer
fully hauling his water three miles
from the well of a neighbor. When
asked what he would do if that well
gave out, he answered with a smile:
Well, water is simply one or tne
material comforts, and when neces- ;
IHPtoL (gLLf
along about 7 o'clock. even in mid
Winter, It's often necessary to start
these truly delightful functions as early
as 1:30 A. M., but as they always con
tinue through to a more seasonable
hour there's usually no complaint on
sary artists and writers are able to
get along very nicely with the spir
itual." Perhaps it is not to be wondered at
that the difficulty in obtaining drink
ing water resulted in a revival of the
old faith In water wizards and others
who are said to have the gift of being
able to locate underground springs
nd streams by means of a forked
stick.
The Forked Stick to Delect Water.
The writer, who Is a hopeless skep
tlo concerning Interesting phenomena
vouched for only by Inaccurate people,
had long scouted all "evidence" on this
subject. He was, then, greatly interest
ed when a well-known man of science
connected with one of the universities
assured him that this belief was not
founded upon superstition, but upon fact.
; Hampshire, when the failure of his well
made nim decide to dig for water. The
: i.m . . . -t k
hill was a most unpromising one. and he
was discussing that point, when some
one suggested that be engage old Silas
Penniman to come and locate the water
for hlui. He laughed, as he had always
done at this old belief, but as a Joke he
asked old Silas, a reputed water wizard,
how much he would charge for the Job.
The fee was $2, and when the professor
told some of his friends that night, they
said: "Let's get him up here; It'll be
worth two dollars Just to see the fun
So Silas came with a forked apple
branch, and after xlg-zagging over the
hill for a little while, the stick was seen
to turn over, and the old man calmly
announced that If the professor would
dig there, he would find water at such
and such a depth. And he added that
two streams, flowing In such and such
dlrectlon8 would b6 found crossing one
another at that point. Workmen were
engaged, and behold It was exactly as
old ellas had predicted. The professor
then tried it himself, but the stick re
malned passive In his hands. The next
to try was his brother, a minister. The
stick remained quiet until he came over
one of' the streams, when it began to
turn over. He grasped it more tightly,
but it continued to turn. He is a power
ful man, and the professor says that he
could see the muscles of his arms swell
as lie strove to prevent the 6tick from
going over. But over It went In spite
of him, but so tight had been his grasp
that he had actually twisted the bar-
from the stem. Still skeptical, the pro
fessor continued his experiments, finally
taking as his subject an old blind woman
who knew nothing of the country about
his home
With a forked apple branch In her
hand, she was started out in the dlrco
tlon of the stream, and as she crossed It
much to her own astonishment, the stick
whirled around in her hand. And this was
told me by careful man with a reputation
to sustain a man whose opinion Is en
titled to great respect. My own opinion
I would reserve yet a Uttle space.
Contrary, to reports from New Hamp
shire there was no suffering among the
big game In the Blue Mountain forest
known locally as Corbln Park. In some
cases the animals had to travel some
what farther than usual In order to slake
their thirst, but they could always find
water, either In the pools, of the larger
trout brooks or in one of the three ponds,
none of which . went dry. There was
eome loss of trout, of course, but less
than In other places owing to the fact
that most of the brooks run for the
greater part of their length-through deep
woodland and evaporation Is compara
tively slow. The birds, squirrels and
other small creatures were Inconveni
enced about as much as their brethren
outside. The only possible trouble may
be found In watering the buffaloes after
they are yarded for the Winter; only
one of the several springs In the buffalo
corrals was active last week. It was
boped that the others would start up
before the animals were driven into per
manent Winter quarters, but In any case
they can be watered at Red Leaf Pond,
which Is close at hand.
Of all the wild creatures that suffered I
mviN 5.
BY
this score. The beauty and chivalry
of our fair city Is being drawn upon
heavily to. furnish recruits for theHe
prosperity housewarmlngs.
"I was reading about one of the
classiest here only yesterday, Larry.
One of the family Newspapers having
a large home and fireside circulation
carried a half page about it copiously
illustrated with photographs, charts
and drawings by a specialist on the
spot only ten hours after It ended.
It must have been a delightful little
affair by all accounts. The table dec
orations were hundred-dollar bills
smothered In orchids, and the favors
were shares of Standard Oil stock with
deckel edges, hand-tooled by Mr. Arch
bold personally. The gentlemen wore
nighties trimmed with baby blue rib
bons and the ladies wore hand-painted
pajamas. Every recognizable Co
respondence School of Dramatic Art In
town was represented by one or more
of Its fair alumnusses. Stage favorites
who have been prominent In all the.
large musical comedies -and divorces
of the last two seasons might have been
seen upon every side. An admitted
favorite was a young lady who'd Just
been promoted from the second row
to the front row, and given the place
on the end nearest the college boys'
box on account of having been horse
whipped In the lobby by another lady
In the presence of the press agent, who
was thereby enabled to get not less
than half a column, with pictures on
every front page In town the next
morniDg. The fair young debutante
of the chorus, who only six months ago
was, having her mall, mostly seed cir
culars, sent via R. F. D. Route No. 4,
out of Lone Oak, Ark., sat right along
side of her sister beauty who within
a year was living at No. 11 S3 East
Dirtyflst street, sixth floor back, ling
Finnigan'8 bell, but to have seen them
there, both dressed up like drugstore
windows, you'd never have been able
to tell them from the patrician beauties
of Fifth avenue except they were bet
ter looking and wore their clothes
with more style, for such Is the rapid
growth of culture In our great me
tropolis. The lady that does the
snake dance, which has created
such ft furore in vaudeville this sea
son, while wearing nothing at all ex
cept some snakes and a bangle brace
let on .her left ankle, was also there,
fully dressed, except for one of the
snakes, named Rolo, that she had to
leave at home because he had a touch
of laryngitis in his rattles. So, to
avoid catching cold, she had bracelets
on both ankles.
"It was truly a feast of reason and
a flow of soul, costing ilio a plate,' ex
clusive of the bottled stuff which was
opened by a special force of 75 pain
less dentists working in relays. Along
about a quarter of 6. when Jocund dawn
stood tip-toe on the gas house, tho
' from the drouth. It Is safe to say that
the fish, especially tne trout, suu.vit.-u
most; literally millions of them per
ished owing to the scarcity of water.
First of all, the gradual drylng up of
the streams crowded them Into a more
restricted range, where food became
carca and where they became easy
prey to unsportsmanlike fishermen,
j Thousands of pounds of trout were de
stroyed In this way. Then in many
cases the very pools to which the trout
' had fled for shelter dried up, and the
! fish were found dead by hundreds on
; the stony bottoms of the brooks. Nor
did the trouble end hero. The drying up
of the head waters of the streams not
only drove the small fry down into deep
er water, where they became the prey
of larger fish, but destroyed much of the
spawn, so that it may be a long time
before the trout brooks recover from this
serious setback.
That other wild creatures suffered more
or less seems more than likely, though
I have no actual proof of this. It seems
almost certain that many young birds
would find difficulty In reaching the
comparatively few places where they
,m,m Hrinir A.t our own home there
were as usual pans of water set out
for the feathered folk, and during day
light they were almost continually sur
rounded by robins, thrushes, catbirds
and Juncos, Joined later by purple
finches, white-throated sparrows and
chickadees. Another pan, the personal
property of Romulus, a tame wolf, was
also a center of attraction for the birds,
and the owner, lying in the shade of an
applo tree, watched them with calm In
difference. Bitter Lesson of Deforestation.
Whatever other causes there may have
been for tho drouth, it seems to be gen
erally admitted that the deforestation
of enormous tracts of country was large
ly responsible. Perhaps1, then. In spite
of her present serious discomfiture. New
Dr. Harvey E. Wiley.
WESHINGTOX. Jan. 9. (Spe
cial.) Dr. Harvey E. Wiley, chief
chemist of the Agriculture De
nartmpnt In airaln on the srrld-
lron for his activity in condemn
ing food products which he avers
are deleterious to health. His
removal is demanded by the sugar
manufacturers In Louisiana on
account of his decision regarding
the unwholesomeness oi suipnur.
benzoate of soda and saccharine
in foods. They claim that It Is
nothing less than "pernicious ac
tivity" on bis part.
mm t
i 81'GAK MANUFACTURERS AT- t
TACK UNITED STATES J
! CHEMIST.
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COBB.
enjoyment reached its height. Waiters
were running around the table res
cuing gentlemen from the finger-bowls
and solid gold cuspidors. Others pres
ent had either gone to sleep as tar
back as the third course, and were still
peacefully at rest with their faces in
the entree, or else they were singing
Good NIs-ht, Ladles. or crying because
John L. Sullivan got licked by Jim Cor
bet at New Orleans, depending on their
different dispositions and the way they
were brought up. It had indeed been
an evening fraught with Incident and
replete with haprnings, as tho society
writers 6ay. So this wm deemed an
opportune hour for everybody to get
Into taxis and ride up' to Westchester
for breakfast, some being almost con
scious, while others remained in
stato of complete coma throughout.
Coming back, nearly everybody had th
African disease known as the sleeping
sickness.
"D'ye think anybody really enjoys giv
ing them sort of blowouts?'' asked the
House Detective.
"Probably not." said tho Hotel Clark,
"but then. you've got to remember.
Larry, that having fun is nearly always
very painful to a rich man. A corn-fed
philosopher can travel on a day coach
all day eating Ills lunch out if a sho
box and afterwards smoking one of tho
Margio Morgan cigars at six for Zo. that
looks like a shredded wheat biscuit ns
soon as the wrappings Ignite and begin
to unravel, and he'll have a perfectly
grand timo. But the fellow who scuds
through on a privato car is apt to become
peevish because somebody else's land
scape doesn't match his upholstering?,
and It may spoil hi whole day for him.
Any proletariat can extract a certain
amount of beneficial excrclso and excite
ment out of dodging automobiles, but.
thei-e aro some millionaires' sons that
can hardly get a thrill any more unless
they happen to bu lucky enough to strlU
a good day's hunting, such as running
down a baby carriage containing twiiiF.
When a fellow gets everything In the
world ho usually finds ho hasn't got any
thing." "I'll bet there's only one town In tills
country that could pull off one of them
dinners like Helnze gave." said the House
Detective, with a touch of true home
pride.
"You can also hot there's only one town
In the country that would brag about It
afterwards." said the Hotel Clerk.
SweurlUK Off.
Housekocper Magazine.
Good Deacon lioM'S had u righteous mind,
Religious and austere.
Another aue.h you might not find
Id many a passing y.-ar.
When Nftw Year's came he was put out
By a most peculiar plipht:
Hfl u-restlml with a horrid doubt.
Whlcti would not take to lllg-hr.
He'd aworn off everything that man
Could think of stopping short.
In other years he'd put the bann
On things of every sort.
But suddenly his face srev brlffht.
He laughed a smothered couirh.
He saw a path as clear an light
He swore off swearing off.
England Is to be congratulated: she Is
at last receiving a long-postponed and
very valuable lesson in practical for
estry. The lesson is as costly as it is
disagreeable, but If it is well learned It
Is cheap at the price. If the people
will now believe what every student of
forestry knows, that deforestation
means something far more serious than
the disfigurement of beautiful land
scapesthat as a law of nature it is
followed by floods and drouth, the
money paid out for tuition may yet come
back. Otherwise, many other lesjotis
will be necessary harder lessons at a
higher fee.
Let us profit by the lesson; let. us fight
for the preservation of our forests.
What Is Electricity?
Who Knows?
THIS Is a favorite query with people
who desire to "get a rise" out of
a scientific man. And when he fail
; to answer It In the same simple fash
I Ion that he might treat the question
"What is a biscuit'.'" the questioner
j cries out, "Aha! You profess to know
j all about electricity; why, you can't
I even tell what it is!"
I Now. to "tell what a thing is" that
Is, to define It Is to state Its relations
I with . something more familiar. The
' particular familiar thing that the ques
tioner is thinking of In this caso is
ordinary matter. Heat has been ex
plained to him as a vibration of ma
terial particles; light, he has been told,
is a wave motion in the ether, and he
understands the ether to be a kind of
matter, or a substance resembling mat
ter In some particulars.
It is not to bo denied that no such
simple general relationship can bo
stated between electricity and matter.
Hue this being so, it would bo Just as
correct to say that we do not know
what matter Is as that we do not
know what electricity Is. As a mater
of fact, we do not know what mater Is;
and the latest plausible theory of It
builds it up on an electric basis, so
that on this theory the Idea of electri
city Is more fundamental than that of
matter. Unfortunately our senses have
been evolved by contact with matter
and are trained to detect only matter:
electricity they know only secondar
ily, through Its action upon matter
the light or heat that It causes matter
to give out, the attraction that it causes
certain substances to exert, and so on.
To the man in the street, therefore,
matter la familiar, and electricity is
unfamiliar; and he demands a state
ment of the latter in terms of the
former, illogical though this may be.
After the scientist has stated all this
the reply comes back: "Yes, I under
stand all that, and It is most clear.
I am sure; but tell me, then, what Is
electricity, anyway?"
Another source of confusion to the
lay mind Is that scientific men do not
always use the word "eleotriclty" to
mean the same thing. The engineer
often employs it to express tho thing
that the theoretical electrician calls
"electric energy."
To find the energy of electricity, that
Is. its ability to do work, the electrician
multiplies the quantity of electricity
by the potential or tension under which
It exists. But to the engineer this pro
duct itself measures the thing that he
calls "electricity."
The work that a pound of water may
do by falling a foot is one foot-pound;
the water Is the eamo after falling ai
before, though its energy Is less. So
to the electrician a quantity or eiecin
city at 100 volts is precisely the same
as at one volt, though the former is
able to do a hundred times as much
work. ,
This difference In meaning causes
thousands of disputes among students.
"Electricity Is a form of energy,' says
one, "Just like light or heat." One
disputant Is talking about the electri
city of the physicist and. the. other
about that of tho engineer; h'Jiice. their
dispute is merely a matter of definition,
though they do not know it.
O
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