THE SUNDAY OREGON! AX". I'ORTXAND, JUNE 7, 1908.
7
BY CAROUYN WELLS'
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.SUPPOSE every one experiences sud
den movements of self-revelation that
comes without rhvjrne or reason, like
a thunderbolt out of a clear sky; reve
lations that make clear in one illumin
ative flash conditions and motives that
have been tangled In a vague obscuri
ty of doubt:
It was when such an instantaneous
radiance of mental vision came to me
J realized at once why I had come to
Kngland. It was simply and only that
I might visit Stratford-on-Avon.
Nor was this pilgrimage to be. lightly
undertaken. Well I knew that the po
sition Shakespeare occupied In my lists
of hero-worship demanded that a fitting;
tribute of emotion be displayed at sight
of such material memorials as were pre
served at his birthplace.
Moreover, I knew that, whatever might
he my sense of reverential homage, In me
the power of emotional demonstration
did not abound.
Hut It Is ever my custom, when pos
sible, to supply or amend such lacks as
I may note In my nature, by any avail
able means.
And what could be wiser than when
going on such an Important journey, and
where I knew my own powers would fall
short of an Imperative requirement, to
take with me some one who should ade
quately supplement my shortcomings?
Being of a methodical nature, I have
my friends as definitely classified and as
neatly pigeon-haled as my old letters.
Mentally running over my collection of
available companions, I stopped at Sen
timental Tommy, knowing I need look
ho further.
Of course Sentimental Tommy was not
his real name, but it is my custom to
bestow upon my friends such titles as
seem to me appropriate or descriptive.
Sentimental Tommy, then, was the only
man In the world, so far as I knew, who
would make a perfect associate for a day
In Stratford. His especial qualifications
were a chameleonic power of adaptability,
an instant and sympathetic compre
senslon of mood, an unbounded capacity
for sentiment, and a genius for com
radeship. He was also a man to whom
one could say, "come, and he cometh,"
without any fuss about it.
The date being arranged, I turned to
my Baedeker and was deeply delighted
tn discover that we must take a train
from lOuston Station. For it seemed that
the wonderful columned facade of Bus ton
was the only appropriate exit from Lon
don, when one's destination was Strat
ford. 1 had hoped that our route might
cause us to pass through Upper Tooting,
as. next to Stratford, this was to me the
most Interesting name in my little red
book. I know not why, but Upper Toot
ing has always possessed for me a
strange fascination, and though it sounds
merely like the high notes of a French
horn, yet my intuition tells me that it
is full of deep and absorbing interest.
Sentimental Tommy met me at Euston
Station, and bought tickets for Stratford
as casually as If it had been on the
Pennsylvania Railroad. Tommy was in
juhllant spirits that morning, with the
1 BLL. I've been doin' a little more
circulatin' among the fat-wads.
It's gettin' to be a reg'lar fad
with me. And say, I used to think they
was a simple lot; but I don't know as
they're much worse than some others that
ain't got so good an excuse.
I was sittin' on my front porch, at
Primrose Park, when in rolls that big
bubble of Sadie's, with her behind the
plate glass and rubber.
"But I thought you was flgurln' in that
big house party out to Breeze Acres,"
shIcI I. "where they've got a duchess on
exhibition?"
"It's the duchess. I'm running away
from," says Sadie.
"You ain't gettin' stage fright this late
In the game, are you?" says I.
"Hardly." says she. "I'm bored,
though. The duchess is a frost. She
talks of nothing but her girls' charity
school and her complexion baths. Thirty
of ushave been shut up with her for
three days now, and we know her by
heart. Plnckney asked me to drop
around and see if I could find you. He
says he's played billiards and poker until
he's lost all the friends he ever had, and
that If he doesn't get some exercise soon
he'll die of indigestion. Will jou let me
take you over for the night?"
Well, I've monkeyed with them swell
house parties before, and generally I've
dug up trouble at 'em; but for the sake
of Plnckney's health I said I'd take an
other chance; so In I climbs, and we
goes zlppln' off through the mud. Sadie
hadn't told me more'n half the cat-scraps
the women had pulled off durln' them
rainy days before we was most there.
Just as we slowed up to turn into the
private road that leads up to Breeze
Acres, one of them dinky little one
lunger benzine buggies comes along,
mlssln' 40 explosions to the minute
and coughln' Itself to death on a grade
you could hardly see. All of a sudden
somethin' goes off. Bang! and the feller
that was jugglin' the steerin' bar throws
up both hands, like he'd been shot with
a ripe tomato.
"f"aramba!" says he. "Likewise gad
zonks!" as the antique quits movin' al
together. I'd have known that lemon-colored pair
of lip whiskers anywhere. Leonidas
liodge has the only ones in captivity. I
steps out of the show-else in time to
re mister man lift off the front lid and
shove lls head , into the works.
"Is the post mortem on?" says I.
"By the beard, of the prophet!" says he,
swlngln' around, "Shorty McCabe!"
"Much obliged to meet you," says I.
givln' him the grip. "The Electro-Pollsho
business must be boomln'," says I,
"when you carry it around in a gasolene
coach. But go on with your autopsy. Is
It locomotor ataxia that alls the thing,
or cirrhosis of the sparkln' plug."
"It's nearer senile dementia," says he.
"Gaze at that piece of mechanism. Shor
ty. There isn't another like it in the
country."
"I can believe that," says I.
For an auto it was the punkiest ever.
No two of the wheels was mates or the
h ti h n
M. M. EST
peculiar kind of international triumph
which comes only .td an American who
has attained some especial favor bf the
English. Gleefully he told me of his great
luck: Only that morning he had been
kicked by the King's cat: An early stroll
past Buckingham Palace and along Con
stitution Hill had resulted In an inter
view with the royal feline. anj the above
mentioned honorable result had been
achieved. My observation to the effect
that I didn't know that cats kicked, was
met by the simple statement that this
cat did and then we went on to Strat
ford. The ride being in part through the same
country that I had traversed when com
ing to London, X felt quite at home In my
surroundings; and we chatted gayly of
everything undgr the sun except the im
mortal hero of our pilgrimage.
That's what I like about Tommy he
has such a wonderful intuitive sense of
conversational values. And though his
obsession by Shakespeare is precisely the
same as my own, and though he is him
self a Bartiett's Concordance in men's
clothing, yet I knew, for a surety, that
ha would quote no line from the poet
through the entire day.
As we had neither of us ever been in
Stratford before, we left the train at
the station and paced the little town with
an anticipation that was like a blank
page, to be written on by whatever might
happen next.
Trusting to Tommy's instinct, we asked
no questions of guidance, and started oft
at random, on a nowise remarkable street.
' At the Chancel.
It-?as an affable August day, and our
gait was much like that of a snali at
full gallop; yet before we turned the
same size; the tires was bandaged like
so many sore throats; the front dasher
was wabbly; one of the side lamps was a
tin stable lantern; and the seat was held
on by a couple of cleats knocked off the
end of a packing box.
"Looks like It had seen some first-aid
repalrln," says I.
"Some!" says Leonidas. "Why, I've
nailed this relic together at least twice
a week for the last two months. I've
used wagon bolts, nuts borrowed from
wayside pumps, pieces of telephone wire,
and horseshoe nails. Once I ran 20 miles
with tha sprocket chain tied up with
twine. And yet they say that the age
of miracles has passed! It would need
a whole machine shop to get her going
again," says he.' "I'll watt until my
wagons come up, and then we'll get out
the tow rope."
"Wagons!" says I. "You ain't travclln'
with a retinue, are you?"
"That's the exact word for it," says he.
And then Leonidas tells me about the
Sagawa aggregation. Ever see one of
these medicine shows? Well, that's what
Leonidas had. He was sole proprietor
and managing boss of the outfit.
"We carry 11 people. Including drivers
and canvas men," says he. "and we give
a performance that the Proctor houses
would charge 75c a head for. It's all for
a dime, too quarter for reserved and
our gentlemanly ushers offer the Sagawa
for sale only between turns."
"You talk Jlke a three-sheet poster."
says I. "Where are you headed for now?"
"We're making a hundred-mile Jump up
into the mill towns," says he, "and be
fore we've worked up as far as Provi
dence I expect we'll have to carry the
receipts In kegs."
That was Leonidas all over; seeln'
rainbows when other folks would be pre
dictln' a Johnstown flood. Just then,
though, the bottom began to drop out of
another cloud, so I lugged him over to
the big bubble and put him Inside.
"Sadie." says I. "I want you, to know
an old side pardner of mine. Hlsjiame's
Leonidas Dodge, or used to be, and
there's nothing yellow about him but
his hair."
And say, Sadie hadn't more'n heard
about the Sagawa outfit than she be
gins to smile all over her face; so I
guesses right off that she's got tangled
up with some fool Idea.
"It would be such a change from the
Duchess if we could get Mr. Dodge to
stop over at Breeze Acres tonight and
give his show," says Sadie.
"Madam." says Leonidas "your
wishes are my commands."
Sadie kept on grinnin' and plannln'
out the programme, while Leonidas passed
out his high English as smooth as a
demonstrator at a food show. Inside of
'ten minutes they has it all fixed. Then
Sadie skips into the little gate cottage,
where the timekeeper lives, and calls
up Plnckney on the house phone. And
say! what them two can't think of in
the way of fool stunts no one else can.
By the time she'd got through, the
Sagawa aggregation looms upon the
road. There was two four-horse wag-
r if W-'MM ?'
cL Sent
first corner tears stood in my eyes,
though whether caused by the thrill of
being on Shakespeare's ground, or the
reflection of Tommy's discernibly sup
pressed emotion, I've no Idea.
But for pure delightfulness of sensa
tion, it is difficult to surpass that aim
less wandering through Stratford, with a
subconsciousness of what was awaiting
us.
In London, historical associations crop
up at every step; but, though pointing
backward; each points in a different direc
tion, and so they form a great semi
circular horizon which becomes misty and
vague in the distance. This is restful,
and gives one a mere sense of blurred
perspective. But Stratford is definite and
coherent. Everything in it, material or
otherwise, points sharply back to the
one figure, and the converging rays meet
with a suddenness that is dazzling and
well-nigh stunning.
Stratford is reeking wtth dramatic qual
ity, and a sudden breath of its atmos
phere makes for mental unbalance.
"Don't take it so hard." said Tommy,
with his gentle smile; "this is really
the worst of it, except, perhaps, one other
bit, and It will soon be over."
"Why, we haven't begun yet," said I,
in astonishment.
"You're thinking of the birthplace,
the memorial and the church. You
ought to know that we can see, ab
sorb, and assimilate those things in
just about one minute each. It is this
that counts this, and the footpath
across the fields to Shottery."
"And the River," I added.
"Yes, and the River."
Following his unerring Instincts,.
Professes Short MCbe "tells of
Red Letter. Day uiiih a Dmmaiic ooo
Oianizaiion
ons. Trie front one had a tarpaulin top,
and under cover was a bunch of the
saddest-lookin' actorines and specialty
people you'd want to see. They didn't
have life enough to look out when the
driver pulled up. The second wagon
carried the round, top and poles.
"Your folks look as gay as a gang
startin' off to do time on the island,"
says I.
"They're not as cheerful as they
might be, that's a fact," says Leoni
das. It didn't take him long to put life
Into "em, though. When he'd give oft
a few brisk orders they chirked up
amazin'. They shed their raincoats for
spangled jackets, hung out a lot of
banners, and uncased a lot of pawn
shop trombones and bass horns and
such things. "AH up for the grand
street parade!" sings out Leonidas.
For an offhand attempt. It wa'n't so
slow. First comes Plnckney, rldjn' a
long-legged huntln' horse and keepin'
the rain off his red coat with on um
brella. Then me and Sadie In her bub
ble, towin the busted one-lunger be
hind. Leonidas was standln' up on the
scat, wearln' his silk hat and handlln'
a megaphone.1 Next came the band
wagon, everybody armed with some
kind of musical weapon, and tearln'
the soul out of "Sliver Heels" In his
own particular way. The pole wagon
brings up the rear.
Pinckney must have spread the news
well, for the whole crowd was out on
the front veranda to see us go past.
And say, when Leonidas sizes up the
kind of .folks that was givln' him the
glad hand, he drops the Imitation so
ciety talk that he likes to spout, and
switches to straight Manhattanese.
"Weil, well, well! Here we are!" he
yells through the megaphone. "The
only original - Sagawa show on the
road, remember! Come early, gents,
and bring your lady friends. The doors
of the big tent will open at 8 o'clock
S o'clock and at 8:15 Mile. Peroxide,
the near queen of comedy, will cut
loose on the coon songs."
"'My word!" says the Duchess, as she
squints through her glasses at the ag
gregation. But the rest of the guests was just
ripe for something of the kind. Mrs.
Curlew Brassett, who'd almost wor
ried herself sick at seeln' her party
put on the blink by a shopworn ex
hibit on the inside and rain on the
out, told Plnckney -he could have the
medicine tent pitched In the middle of
her Italian garden If he wanted to.
They didn't, though. They stuck up
the round top on the lawn Just in
front of the stables, and they hadn't
much mor'n lit the gasoline flares be
fore the folks begins to stroll out and
hit up the ticket wagon.
' "It's the first time I ever had the
nerve to charge two dollars a throw
i7i esital tfburiiey
Tommy's steps led us, though . perhaps
not by the most direct route, to the
Shakespeare Hotel.
1 "You know," he said, "intending vis
itors to Stratford are Invariably in
structed by returned visitors to go to
My Thoughts All With Mary Anderson.
for perches on the blue boards," says
Leonidas, "but that friend of yours, Mr.
Plnckney. wanted me to make it five."
Anyway, it was almost worth the
money. Mile Peroxide, who did the high
and lofty with a Job lot of last year
coon songs, owned a voice that would
have had a Grand-street banana huck
ster down and out; the monologue man
was funny only when he didn't mean
to be; and the blackface banjolst was
the limit. Then there was a juggler,
and Montana Kate, who wore buck-
te'--' 'W;f
uT: ff . "i
LEONIDAS UP TO HIK
skin legglns and did a fake rlfle-shoot-ln'
act.
I tried to bead Leonidas off from
sendin' out his tent men, rigged up
In red flannel coats, to sell bottled
Sagawa; but he said Plnckney had
told him to be sure and do It. They
were birds, them "gentlemanly ushers."
"I'll bet I know where you picked
up the lot of 'em," says I.
"Where?" says Leonidas.
"Oft the benches in City Hall Park,"
I says.
"All but one." says he, "and he had
Just graduated from Snake Hill. But
you didn't take this for one of Froh
man's road companies, did you?"
They unloaded the Sagawa, though.
The audience wasn't mlssln' anything,
and most every one bought a bottle
for a souvenir.
'It's the great Indian liver regu-
the Red Lion Inn, or Red Bear, or Red
something; but Instinct tells me that
this hostelry has a message for us."
Nor wae the message only that of the
typical English luncheon which the
dinrhg-room afforded. There were
many other points about that hotel
which impressed me with peculiar de
light, from the quaint entrance-hall to
the garden at the back.
Each room Is named for one of
Shakespeare's plays, and has the title
over its door. After hesitating be
tween Hamlet and Twelfth Night, I
finally concluded that should I ever spend
a whole summer in Stratford, which I
fully intend to do, should take pos
session of the delightful, chintz-furnished
"Love's Labor Lost."
The library was a continuation of fas
cination. A strange-shaped room whose
length Is half a dozen times its width,
it seemed a place to enter but not to
leave. .
.However, one does not visit Stratford
for the delights of hotel life, and, lunch
eon over, we again began our wander
ings. By good luck we chanced first upon the
Memorial Theater. The good luck lay In
the fact that, having seen the outside of
this tribute to Genius, we had no desire
to enter. It was mindful of a modern
New England high school building, and,
though we knew It contained authentio
portraits and folios, it had little to do
with our Shakespeare.
We paused at the monument, and com
mented on the cleverness of the happy
thought that provided Philosophy to fill
up the fourth side of Shakespeare's
genius.
And then we went on to Henley street
lator and complexion beautifier," says
Leonidas in his business talk. "It re
moves corns, takes the soreness out of
stiff muscles and restores the natural
color to gray hair. Also, ladles and
gents. It can be used as a furniture
polish, while a few drops in the bath
Is better than a week at Hot Springs."
He was right to home. Leonidas was,
and it was a joy to see him. He'd got
himself into a wrinkled dress suit,
stuck an opera hat on the back of his
head, and he jollied along that swell
mob Just as easy as If they'd been fac
tory hands. And they all seemed glad
tboy'd come. After It was over Pinck-
NECK IN TROUBLE.
ney says that it was too bad to keep
such a good thing all to themselves,
and he wants me to see if Leonidas
wouldn't sfVy and give a grand mati
nee performance next day.
"'Tell him I'll guarantee him a full
house," says Pinckney.
Course, Leonidas didn't need any
eoaxln'. "But I wish you'd find out If
there isn't a butcher shop handy," says
he. "You see, we were up against It
for a week or so, over In Jersey, and
the rations ran kind of low. In fact,
all we've had to live on for the last
four days has been bean soup and pilot
bread, and the artists are beginning
to complain. Now that I've got a little
real money, I'd like to buy a few
pounds of steak. I reckon the aggre
gation would sleep better after a hot
supper."
I lays the case before Plnckney and
tnd . the house, where Shakespeare was
born.
We entered the narrow doorway into
the old house, which shows so plainly
the frantic endeavor at preservation, and
we climbed the stairs to the room where
the poet was born. The air was smoky
with memory and through It loomed the
rather smug bust. Us weight supported
by a thin-legged, inadequate table.
With Tommy I was not troubled by
the objectionable thought -of "first im
pressions." In the first moment we took
In, with one swift glance, the fireplace,
the walls, the windows and the few scant
properties, and after that our attitude
was as pilgrims returning to an oft
visited shrine.
In the room back of the birth room,
the one that looks out over the garden,
sat the custodian of the place. He was
a large handsome man with none of the
doddering, mumbling effects of his profes
sion. He looked at me keenly, as I stood look
ing out of the back window, my thoughts
all with Mary Arden, and he said. In
a low 'oice, "You love him, too," and I
said "Yes."
A little shaken by the birthplace, but
of no mind to admit it, we went gayly
through the Stratford street, passing
groups of happy villagers, and so sud
denly did we meet the Avon that we al
most fell Into It. We chanced upon two
broad marble steps that seemed to be
the terminal of a macadamized path to
the river.
The Avon was using the lower of these
Kicked by the King's Cat.
two steps, so we sat on the upper one
and watched the children sailing boats
upon the Memorial Stream. This brought
to my mind Mr. Mable's word picture of
Shakespeare at 4 years old. and for a
Sadie, and they goes straight for Mrs.
Brassett. And say! before 11:30 they
had that whole outfit lined up in the
main dinin'-room before such a feed
as most of 'em hadn't never dreamed
nbout. There was everything from
chilled olives to hot squab, with a pint
of fizz at each plate.
Right after breakfast Plnckney be
gan warmln' the telephone wires, call
in up every one he knew within 15
miles. And he sure did a good Job.
While he was at that I strolls out to
the tent to have a little chin with
Leonidas. and I discovers him up to
the neck In trouble. He was backed
up against the center pole, and in front
of him was the whole actorette push,
all Jawln' at once, and raisin' seven
different kinds of ructions.
"Excuse me for buttin' in," says T,
"but I thought maybe this might be
a happy family."
"It ought to be. but It ain't." .says
Leonidas. "Just listen to 'em."
And say. what kind of bats do you
think had got into their belfries?
Seems they'd heard about the two-dollar-a-head
ticket and the swell,
crowd that was comln' to the mati
nee. That, and beln' waited on by a
butler at dinner the night before, had
gone to the vacant spot where their
brains ought to be. They were tel'in'
Leonidas that if they were goln' to
play to Bropdway prices they were go
in' to give Broadway acts.
Mile. Peroxide allowed that she
would cut out the rnsrtime and put In
a few choice selections from grand
opera. Montana Kate hears that, and
sheds the buckskin legglns. No rifle
shootln' for her; not much! She had
Ophelia's lines down pat. and she meant
to give 'em or die in the attempt. The
blackface banjolst says he can Imper
sonate Stf Henry Irving to the life;
and the juggler guy wants to show
'em how he can eat up the Toreador
song.
"These folks want somethin' high
toned," says Mile. Peroxide, "and this
Is the chance of a lifetime for me to
fill the bi'1. I'd been doin' grand ooera
long ago If it hadn't been for the trust."
"They told me at the dramatic school
In Dubuque that I ought to stick to
Shakespeare," says Montana Kate,
"and here's where I get my hooks In."
"You talk to 'em. Shorty," says Le
onidas; "I'm hoarse."
"Not me." says I. "T did think you
was a real gent, but I've changed my
mind, Mr. Dodge. Any one who'll tie
the can to high-class talent the way
you're tryln' to do is nothln' less'n a
fiend In human form."'
"There now." says the blondlne.
Leonidas chucks the sponge. "You
win." says he. "I'll let you all take a
stab at anything you please, even If it
comes to recltin' 'Ostler Joe'; but I'll
be blanked if I shut down on sellln'
Saeawa!"
Two minutes lat.er they were turnln
tiinks upside down diggln' out cos
tumes to fit. As soon as they began to
rehearse, Leonidas goes outside and
sits down behind the tent, holdln' his
face in his hands, like he had the
toothache.
"It makes me ashamed of my kind."
says he. "Why, they're rocky enough
for a third-rate wagon show, and I
supposed they knew it; but I'll be
hanged If every last one of 'em don't
think they've got Mansfield or Julia
Marlowe tied in a knot. Shorty, it's
human nature glimpses like this that
makes bein' an optimist hard work."
"They're a bughouse bunch; all act-
time the baby Shakespeare took prece
dence over the man poet.
It Is scarcely fair that the Avon should
be so beautiful of Itself, for this, with
'its vicarious Interests, makes it too
blessed among rivers.
Then we went to Holy Trinity. Tn
approach, plain as way to parish church.
seemed like a solemn ceremony, and, as
Tommy afterward admitted, "it got on
his nerves."
Unbothered by verger or guide, oblivious
to tourists. If any were there, we walked
straight to the chancel, looked at Shake
speare's grave and walked away.
It was fortunate for me at this mo
ment that I had taken Sentimental
Tommy with me; for, as his emotions
are so much more available than mine,
so he has them under better control.
I had expected to look around the
church a bit, but Tommy led me away,
through the old graveyard, to the low
wall by the river. And there, under the
waving old trees, we sat until we could
pick up out lost three hundred years.
Bark through the town we went: and
I must needs stop here and there st
the little shops, which, with their mod
ern attempts at quaintness, display rel
ics and antiques, more or less genu
ine. Few of their wares appealed to me.
0o I contented myself with a tit y cel
luloid bust of Shakespeare, which by
chance presented the familiar features
with an expression of real power and
intellect. It was strange to find this
poet face on a cheap trinket, and with
deep thankfulness of heart I possessed
myself of my one souvenir of Strat
ford. It is directly opposed to all the in
stincts of Tommy's nature to ask.ln
struct.lons in matters which he feels
he ought to know intuitively.
And so, upon his simple announce
ment, "This is the footpath across the
fields to Shottery. to Anne Hatha
way's cottage," we started.
As Tommy had hinted, during our
walk from the station, there would be
another bit of the real thing; and
this was It. The walk across the
fields as crowded with impulses that
came perilously near emotional inten
sity. Rut from such appallng fate
we were saved by our sense of humor.
One cannot give way to emotions If
one is conscious of its humorous as
pert. And we agreed that as the path
across the field had been here ever
since Shakespeare trod it, and as it
would In all probability remain for
some time In the future, the mere co
incidence that we were traversing it
at this particular moment was nothing
to be thrilled' about.
And yet It was the path from Strat
ford to Shottery, and we were there!
But It was a longer patli than we
had thought, and the practicality which
Is one of the chief ingredients of
Tommy's sentiment moved him to look
at his watch and announce that we
would have to turn hack at onre. If we
would catch the last train toLondon.
Not entirely disheartened at leaving
Anne Hathaway's cottage unvlslted
for we both well knew the value of
the unattained we turned, and wan
dered back to the station Just in time
for the late afternoon train.
And that was why we didn't dis
cover until some time afterward that
we had taken the wrong road acrocJi
the fields; and that, as we imagined
our faces turned toward It. Anne Hath
away's cottage was getting further
and further away to our left.
MLLICM)
org are ?ay I. "You can't change
ern, though. '
"I wish I wasn't responsible for this
lot." says ho.
He was feelin' worse than ever when
the matinee opens. It had stopped
ralnln' early in the mornin . and all the
rottaffers for nines around hud rome
over to see what new doin's Pinrkney
had hatched up. There was almost a
rapacity house when Leonidas steps
out on the stape to announce the first
turn. I knew ho had more Rreen money
in his clothes that minute than he'd
handled in a month before, but hearted
as sheepish as If he was goln' to strike
ein for a loan.
"I wish to call the attention of the
audience. says he, "to a few changes
ofs programme. Mile Peroxide, w ho is
billed to sing coon songs, will render
by her own request the Jewel song
from 'Kaust' and two solos from 'Lucia
di hammcrmoor.' "
And say, she did it! Anyways. thm
was what she aimed at. For awhile
the crowd held its breath, tryln to be
lieve it was only a freight engine
whistlin' for brakes, or somethin like
that. Then they be era n to grin. Next
some one touched off a giggle, and af
ter that they roared until they were
wlrtin'away the tears.
Leotfdas don't look quite so glum
when he comes out to present the re
formed banjolst as Sir Henry Irving.
He got his etie all right, and he hands
out a game of talk about delayed gon
itis comin' to the front that tickled the
folks clear through. The guy never
seemed trt drop that he was bein hand
ed the lemon, and he done his worst.
T thought they'd used Tip all the
laughs they had in em, but Montana
Kate as Ophelia set 'em wild again.
Maybe you've seen amateurs that was
funny, but you never see anything to
bent that combination. Amatetirs are
afraid to let themselves loose, but not
that bunch. They were so sure of bein
the best that ever happened In their
particular lines that they didn't even
know the crowd was givln' om the
ha-ha until they'd got through.
Anyway, as a rib tickler that show
was all to the good. The folks nearlv
mobbed Plnckney. teilin him what a
Cfe he was to think up such an ex
hibition, and he laid it all to .Sadia
and me.
Only the Huchess didn't exactly ncm
to connect with the .toke. Phe sat stnl
Idlv through the whole perforrronee in
a kind of daze, and then afterwards
she fys: "It wnsn't what I'd call real
ly clever, you know; but. my word! the
poor things tried hard enongh "
Just before I starts for home I hunts
hp T.eonldns. He was givin" orders to
his boss canvasman when I found him.
and feelin the pulse of his one-luneer
that Mrs. Brassett's chauffeur had tin
kered tip.
"Well, Leon Id as." sn ys T. "are you
poln to put the Shakespenrc-Pagawa
combination on the ten -t went y-tnlrt
circuit?"
"Not if I can prove an alibi." says
he. "I've just paid a week's advance
salarv to that crowd of Melbas and
Booths, and told me to go sign con
tracts with Frohman and Conried. I
may be running a medicine show, but
I've got some professional pride left.
Now I'm going back to New York and
engage an educated pig and a troupe
of trained dogs to fill out the season.'
The last I saw of Montana Kate she
was pacln up and down the station
platform, readin a copy of "Romeo and
Juliet." Ain't they the pippins, though?