10
THE SUNDAY OKEt0IAN PORTLAND. MAY 17, 1908.
AN ENGLISH telephone is a con
tradiction in term. If it is in
England it isn't a telephone. It is
a thin that looks something like a
broken ox-yoke, that is manipulated
something like a trombone, and is about
as effectual as the Keeley Motor.
A course of lessons is necessary to
learn to use one. but the lessons "are
wasted, as the instrument is invariably
out of order, and moreover, nobody has
one, anyhow.
But one morning, before I had dis
covered all this, 1 was summoned to the
telephone booth of the Pantheon Club,
and blithely grasped the cumbersome
affair, with its receiver on one end and
its transmitter on the other, I ignorantly
hld It wrong end to, but that made no
difference, as it wouldn't work either
way.
"Grawsp it stiffer, madame," advised
the anxious Buttons who engineered it.
At length I discovered that this meant
to press firmly on a fret, as if playing
a flute, but by thin time the party ad
dressing me had been disconnected from
the other end, and all attempts to regain
communication were futile.
The boy took the instrument, and I have
never seen a finer display of human in
genuity and patience than he showed
for the next half-hour trying to hear that
chord again. Then he gave it up, and
layinc the horrid thing gently in its
cradle, he nonchalantly informed me
that if the party awrsked for me again,
hed send me naotice, and then demanded
tuppence.
This I willingly paid, as I was always
glad to get rid of those copper heavy
weights; and. too. it seemed a remark
ably small price even for a telephone tall,
until I suddenly remembered that I hadn't
made the call, nor had I received it.
The call was repeated la"ter, and after
another distracting session of incoherent
shouting, and painfully-cramped finger
muscles, I learned that I was invited
to an informal dinner that evening at
Mrs. Marchbanks at 7:30 o'clock.
I had not Intended to plunge into the
social whirl so soon, and had declined
all the many invitations which had come
to me by mail.
But somehow the telephone invitation
took me unawares, and, too. I was so
pleased to succeed in getting the message
at all that it seemed ungracious and un
g ra tef ul to re f use. So. I took a fresh
grip on the fretted monster, and, aiming
my voice carefully at the far-away trans
mitter, I shouted an acceptance. I hoped
it reached the goal, but as there was
nothing but awful silence afterward, I
had to take it on faith, and I went away
to look over my dinner gowns.
The invitation had been classed a
'Informal," but I knew the elasticity of
that term, and so. though I did not select
my very best raiment. I chose a pretty
docollette frock, that had "New York"
legibly written on its every fold and
pucker.
go late Is the dusk of the London Sp rin g
Americans Excell all Others as Billiard Players
Game Especially Adapted to Courtship Old Favorite In the Courts of Europe.
AMRRICA plays billiards more than
does all the rest of the world
combined.
Every hotel and club and most private
houses built for persons of means In
clude a billiard-room. It is a resource
In the 'entertainment of visitors; a mag
net to attract young men to home amuse
ment, and, besides proving a recreation,
Is, in a way, a test of disposition for
persons will display qualities and char
acteristics while playing billiards which
one is not likely to discover In them at
any other time.
Billiards induces thought and reflection,
and one who plays the game frivolously
is considered by wielders of the cue in
capable of serious attention to anything
in life.
In no other pastime is one able to dis
play as much grace of action, except,
perhaps, in fencing. A woman who plays
billiards gracefully is wonderfully at
tractive, and her opponent, if a man, is
often so interested in admiring her at
titudes that he loses his heart as well
as his game.
Two persons only can play billiards. A
chaprone may not converse, . and if she
is not herself a player she soon tires of
watching balls bounding back and forth
in mysterious angles over a green cloth,
and leaves her charges to themselves. I
Serious as is the ame. it offers far more I
opportunities for Indulging in flirtations !
than docs even the game of hearts
where interest is all centered in prosaic
chlls, and the grace or awkwardness of
a player matters not a all.
To an onlooker unfamiliar with bil
liards there is something astonishing
about the seriousness with which its
devotees enter into it. Many a pompous
financier, who Iirs preserved a calm and
smiling demeanor through all the strain
of deals involving the loss or gain of
fortunes, becomes excitable and irascible
at billiards. Does his opponent tiptoe
gently backward and beckon the oncom
ing bit of ivory with caressing words of.
encouragement to "come on," he may
shout angrily at the ball to stop, and
if be does not accuse his opponent of
taking unfair advantage, is as likely as
not to call him a fool.
There is something startling in the ap
pearance of a staid man of affairs,
hounding up and down, violently gesticu
lating and shouting at a meaningless
looking little ivory ball no more than two
and three-eighths Inches in diameter.
One marvels that some of the cues
branished heedlessly during moments of
absorption on the part of players do not
cause injuries to eyes and noses, and
the onlooker momentarily expects that
something will occur to start a tiht
between the excited players.
One falls to wondering whether Queen
Klizabeth ever beheaded opponents who
Incurred her anger at billiards it was so
easy for her to trump up heretical or
political charges against them: and
whether louls XIV, who made billiards
fashionable in the I7th century, when the
game was prescribed by his physician as
an aid to royal digestion after dinner
every day, ever consigned to the Bast lie
courtiers who upset his calculations and
temper by making remarks at inopportune
, moments during the game.
If women of old indulged in the contor
tions that some modern women consider
necessary to billiard playing, how did
they manage, in stiff ruffler. Medict collar
and steel plated stomacher, to achieve
such gyrations?
Considering the fact that billiards was
an exclusive game of the courts for a
long time, one does not marvel that Eng
land clings to the game of "hazard" to
tills day, for at it courtiers were less
likely to lose their heads or positions by
winning too frequently through good filay
that I easily made my toilet by daylight, j
and was all ready at 7 o'clock. ,
Carefully studying my Baedeker maps
and plans to make sure of the distance.
I stepped into my hansom just in time
to reach my destination at a minute
or two before 7:30 o'clock, assuming that
New York customs prevailed in England.
The door was opened to me by an
amazed-looking maid, who seemed so un
certain what to do with me that I al
most grew embarrassed myself.
Finally, she asked me to follow her
upstairs, and then ushered me Into a
room where my hostess, in the hands of
her maid, was In the earliest stages of
her toilet.
"You dear thing," she said, "how sweet
of you to come. Yes, Louise, that
aigrette is right.- Here is the key of
my jewel case."
"I fear I have mistaken the hour," I
said; "the telephone was a bit difficult,
but I understood 7:30 o'clock."
"Yes," agreed Mrs. Marchbanks, study
ing the back of her head in a hand
mirror, "but in London 7:30 means 8
o'clock, you know."
This was definite information, and I
promptly stored It away for future use-.
Also, it was reliable information, for it
proved true, and at S o'clock the guests
began to arrive.
Dinner was served at 8:46 o'clock, and
all was well.
Incidentally I had learned my lesson.
The half-hour in the drawing-room be
fore dinner was an interesting "first im
pression" of that indescribable combina
tion of warmth and frost known as a
London hostess.
Further experience taught me that Mrs.
Marchbanks was a typical one.
The London hostess invariable mode of
procedure is a sudden, inordinate gush
of welcome, followed immediately by an
icy stare. By the time you have politely
responded to the welcome, your hostess
has forgotten your existence. Nay, more,
she seems almost to have forgotten her
own. She is vague, self-absorbed, and
ing rather than patent luck. Court eti
quette, too, prevented the bore from
wearying others by recounting reasons for
losing a game "accidentally." No such
etiquette restrains the bore now. It also
caused winners on flukes to refrain from
asserting their signal ability at the game,
as they do today.
In this country and France the car
rom game is the rule, as it is the favorite
in most countries except England. The
carrom affords an outlet for the excitable
tempers of American players, and also an
opportunity to exhibit fine calculations,
marksmanship and touch.
To Henrique de Vigne, a French artist
of the reign of Charles IX (about 1571), is
ascribed the invention of billiard tables
and formulation of rules for the game,
although the origin of billiards has been
accredited variously to China, England,
Spain and Italy, as well as France.
Shakespeare asserts that Antony and
Cleopatra were good enough friends to
play billiards without falling out, but he
doesn't mention how or when the game
got Into Egypt.
Billiard-room libraries contain books
with diagrams and rules showing how
various games of billiards and pool may
be played. Such rooms are usually dec
orated in period styles, and billiard tables
and mantel and wall markers are con
structed to harmonise with the room, even
to mahogany claw-footed tables where
Colonial furniture and decorations are
employed..
Billiard tables are constructed of the
fashionable finishing woods of tooay,
notably Circassian and Italian walnut,
mahogany. Quartered oak and even rarer
woods. Such tables vary in price from
iW to X1800 and are finished with rubber
cushions, to which is due the high average
maintained in the American game. Im
provement In cushions is responsible for
Improvement In playing billiards. Cotton,
wool and hair filled cushions on billiard
tables until 1S35, when those of India rub
ber were introduced. Oak beds, followed
by marble, were employed until about
1S27. when slate beds were first used.
Ancient "pockets" or ''hazards" were
generally mere wooden boxes, and "mace
playing" and "cue playing" described the
game we know as billiards. The old
method of converting a billiard into a
pool table was to use pocket stops; now
a change of rails may be effected in two
minutes since the introduction of two sets
of rails and cushions, with . convertible
tables.
Another improvement in the construc
tion of billiard furniture is the table
with six legs and slate beds an inch and
a half in thickness instead of one inch.
The idea is to give greater solidity.
Frames are also heavier, and head
blocks are reinforced. To contribute to
the uninterrupted smoothness of the
game receivers are built into the heads
of six-pocket pool tables. Balls drop
and roll through troughs into this re
ceiver. How different sounds this description
from one given of a table made for
Queen Elisabeth's successor and paid
for out of the exchequer: "One billiarde
boarde. twelve foote longe and fower
foote broad, the frame being wallnut
tree, well wrought and carved, with
eight great skrewes and eighteen small
skrewes."
It is said that old billiard tables were
of many and various shapes, so that the
new oval table now enjoying great popu
larity in England may not be so very
new after all. This innovation. It is de
clared, does away with the possibility
of "nursing" and "top-of-the-table" play,
and gives a more scientific basis to the
game, besides furnishing greater oppor
tunity for exhibitions of skill, calcula
tion, delicacy of toucb and execution of
stroke. The English architect who de
"Grawsp It stiffer, Warn."
f MU'J 1 X TM" I talkative and amusing.
quite oblivious of your existence. I have
heard of a lady with a gracious presence.
The London hostess is best described by
a gracious absence.
But having adapted yourself to this
condition, your hostess is likely
to whirl about and dart a remark or a
question at you.
On the evening under discussion, my
hostess suddenly broke off her own greet
ing to another guest, to say to me, "Of
course you'll be wanting to buy some
new clothes at once."
This statement was accompanied by a
deliberate survey, from berthe to hem, of
my palpably American-made gown, and
as the incident pleased my sense of
humor, I felt no resentment, and amiably
acquiesced in her decision.
Then, funnily enough, the conversation
turned upon good-breeding.
"A well-bred Englishwoman," my
hostess dictatorlally observed, "never
talks of herself. She tactfully makes
the person to whom she is talking the.
subject of conversation."
"But," said I, "if the person to
whom she is talking is also well-bred, he
must reject that subject, and tactfully
talk about the first speaker. This must
bring about a deadlock." She looked at
me, or rather through me. in a pitying,
uncomprehending way. and went on;
The well-bred Englishwoman never
makes an allusion or an implication that
signed this oval table planned it so that
the balls would always be more accessi
ble, the rest or bridge seldom being re
quired, and to obviate the necessity for
assuming different attitudes when mak
ing a stroke. The oval table also affords
excellent opportunities for posing as well
as flirting, especially where it becomes
necessary to hold feminine hands while
teaching amateurs the technicalities of
the cue.
A few people have French markers,
with a dial to register scores, set in the
rail of the table, but most players cling
to the Chinese button and wire. A touch
of the cue sends the button flying to the ;
end of the string and a glance at U
shows the score. Where mantel mark
ers are employed, these often Include
mirrors, in which players may admire
the reflection of their pretty strokes.
Many wish that all reflections were as
silent during the progress of a game.
Various cloths have served their turn
as covers for billiard tables, all clinging
faithfully to a green color, possibly as a
reminder that billiards was evolved from
a game once played upon the turf, some
what analogous to bowling and called
"halyards," a name meaning "ball and
stick." For centuries the cue was known
as the "mast," "stick" and "mace," and
the modern billiard table had its some
what crude prototype in 1674. Billiard
cloth Is made in Vervier, Belgium, and
is known as Simonis cloth. This affords
the most perfect medium for the prog
ress of the balls of ivory, out of which
the best billiard balls are made, for no
other substance, experts affirm, pos
sesses such elasticity. The same results
cannot be obtained with composition
balls. Balls for pool are often made of
a composition of celluloid and other In
gredients, the qualities and proportions
of which are held secret.
In order to play a good game of bil
liards one must possess excellent sight,
steady nerves, alert mental faculties
and the ability to make rapid combina
tions to meet exigencies of ever-new
positions of the balls. Billiards de
mands the qualities necessary to good
chess-playing and those imperative in
fencing. In the first case planning
ahead and calculating strokes and
counterstrokes cannot be indulged i
deliberately, as In chess, but must
usually be the work of an instant.
Here comes into play the attributes of
an expert fencer, alertness of mind and
motion, suppleness of limb and a
trained eye. educated to see an attack
and formulate a counter-charge in the
same instant; to estimate distance, de
scribe angles and take points. The
billiard player obtains physical exer
cise and mental relaxation at the same
time and insensibly and inevitably
trains all his faculties to a wonderful
degree. No game is superior to it in
the development of skill, calculation
precision and dexterity.
The billiard player is usually quick
at repartee and spirited in conversa
tion. The game he plays teaches a
man much more than how to drive a
ball successfully and a woman more
than the art of moving gracefully as
she wields her cue. Women make good
billiard players, and many a one de
clares that her husband enjoys her
companionship more because she is
able to beat him at billiards.
The weight of cues depends upon the
fancy of the player, who uses that to
which he has accustomed himself. Ex
ports play with a cue that weighs
from 19 to 22 ounces, and the shaft of
maple is preferred to any "other kind.
In England those of ebony Btill have a
vogue. The standard cue is 4 feet 9
Inches In length, with maple shaft and
butt of rosewood, ebony, California
rosewood, mahagua Indeed, any wood
that is decorative la hue and texture
could cause even the slightest trace of j
discomfiture or annoyance to the pers
addressed."
This, of itself, seemed true enough,
but again she turned swiftly toward me,
and abruptly inquired, "Doesn't the
servility of the English servants em
barrass you?"
This time, too, my sense of humor
saved me from embarrassment, but I
began to think serious-minded persons
He amused me with Jokes directed
- against his national peculiarities.
should not brave the slings and arrows
of a well-bred Englishwoman.
Geniality and ingenuousness are alike
unknown to the English hostess. It is a
Ivory tips are of ancient origin, but
leather ones and the use of chalk upon
them to prevent their slipping upon the
balls were not introduced until 1808.
Olden cues went through various evo
lutions, such as perfectly flat ends;
points, sometimes of ivory, in 1760; the
oblique cue, that rounded upon one
side, and the bevelled cue. Persons
often use cues inlaid with pearl and
with fancy gold and silver name
plate. Once in a while some player la
presented with a jewel set cue, but he
keps such souvenirs and trophies for
ornament rather than service.
Practically every nobleman's house
in England and every chateau in
France, had its billiard table, and the
game was popular in England for more
than a century before it was Intro
duced in America. Prior to the 19th
century, the only billiard table in New
York was owned by an Irishman on
Whitehall dock, and New York's first
billiard room was opened In 1808 100
years ago.
So fashionable did the game become
later that among men who vied with
one another In the beauty of their bil
liard appointments was Alexander Ham
ilton, who possessed a richly-carved
six-pocket mahogany table, 12 by 6
feet in size. A modern devotee to the
pastime was the late Henry Ward
Beecher, who praised the game as a
"noble" one. to "be encouraged In all
safe ways." and who said that "bil
liards must be regarded as one of the
most charming games invented," a
statement to which every blllard play
er yields hearty assent.
Ijocal Option Puzzle in Illinois.
Carlinville Democrat.
The City of Litchfield is both wet and
dry. The city is located In two town
ships. The major part is in North Lltch
field and the balance Is in South Litch
field. At the recent election North Lltch
field went overwhelmingly against the
saloons, while South Litchfield township
went for saloons by a majority of 982.
People of that city now are wondering
where they are. Saloons in South Litch
field, in which is located the saloon part
of the City of Litchfield, will not be dis
turbed and the probabilities are that
many of the saloons voted out of North
Litchfield will move across the railroad
track and do business In saloon territory.
"Thirteen Ir.
Army and Navy L.lfe.
Wise folks are sayln' sadly that the Army's
on the blink;
The soldier has good food and clothes, and
water Dure to drink.
He gets a chance to ne the world the
Philippines take in.
And yet they're leavin' like hot cakes the
ranks are woeful thin.
O the Army's on a striker
It's "Comrades un and hike-
Dolt the blue, for times ar'n't what they
were:
We've done the best we can.
But who will blame a man
For gettln restless under 'thlrten per.
It sure is mighty troublin wnen we think
with deen reeret
That, spite of all the fine peace talk, this
world am t heaven yet:
And some of us are like the kid who waited
sure and sly
To grab a fellar marbles when that fellar
wasn't by.
Of course, we have our ideas, me and wise
old Sergeant Brown;
We've turned the question inside out, and
round about and down.
If any pu tiled Congressman would like to
near our view.
Just let him strike the nearest trail and ask
the Boy in Blue.
O the Army's on a strike!
It's "Comrade up and hVfce,
iKift the blue, for tims ar'n't what they
were!
We've done the best we can.
But who will blame a man
For a-etUii' restless under "thirteen per?"
11
very rare thing to meet a charming Eng
lishwoman. Good traits they have In
plenty and many sterling qualities which
Americans often lack, but magnetism and
responsiveness are as a rule not among
these qualities.
And I do not yet know whether it is
through ignorance or with malice pre
pense that an English hostess greets you
effusively, and then drops you with an
air of finality that gives a "lost your last
friend" feeling more than anything else
In all the world.
This state of things is. of course, more
pronouncedly noticeable at teas than at
dinners. At an afternoon reception, the
hostility of the hostess is beyond all
words. Moreover, at English afternoon
teas there are two rules. One is you
may not speak to a fellow-guest without
an introduction. The other is that no uv
troduction is necessary between guests of
the house. One of these rules Is always
inflexibly enforced at every tea; but the
casual guest never1 knows which one, and
so complications ensue.
English hostesses always seem to me
very much like that peculiar kind of
flowered chinti with which they cover
their furniture the kind that looks like
oilcloth, and is very cold and shiny, very
beautiful, very slippery, and decidedly
uncomfortable.
But in inverse proportion to the con
versational unsatisfactoriness of the
Conversations
out waiting: to be expected to do it. It's
all right to eat up the hits that come
into your pocket, and your fielding record
might make a blamed pleasant little
bit of reading for you, but the guys who
go to the games will pass your name
and look up the one who made errors
by trying to pull drives off the whisky
ads. I could stand a scare-crow out
on the lot and he wouldn't make an
error In a million years, but I'll be
hanged If I'd want to sign him to win
pennants for me.
"Speaking of taking chances and
doping out opportunities. Kid, here's
an instance of what can be done with
this kind of playing. In a game
against Washington a few weeks ago,
Harry Davis, of the Philadelphia
Athletics, engineered a triple steal and
got away with it by doping out what
the. next play would be from the ex
isting conditions. The Athletics had
the bases full with two out and two
strikes and no balls on the batter.
Davis was on third, and reasoned
wisely that with two strikes and no
balls on the batter the pitcher would
waste the' next ball. Giving the sign
for a general dash all 'round, Davis
made a break for home and mother
as soon as- the pitcher began to wind
up for the next pitch, and, just as
Harry had doped it out, the pitch was
high and Harry slid over the pan with
what proved to be the winning run
tynd the other two runners advanced a
base. On the next ball pitched the side
was retired.
"Now, a lot of dubs will say that
was a piece of good luck in getting
away with a reckless chance. 3ut let
me tell you. Kid, It was the result of
shrewd reasoning and taking ad
vantage of existing conditions, instead
of performing his duties mechanically
and merely doing what was expected
of him. And, Kid, that's the game that
will always win. Let a lot of dubs
bust their thoraxes yelling about luck
if they want to, but take it from me.
the element of luck will always be
found plugging for the guys who are
doing the thinking and taking chances.
"And now. Kid, you'd better hit the
hay. Let this dope soak into the
sponge in your belfry while you're
thinking yourself into dreamland, and
we'll see if it doesn't splatter your
name through the sporting notes with
a little more frequency. Good-night,
Kid."
ENGLAND'S
THE first attempt at printing, at
Mayence, in 1450, was a copy of the
Vulgate, wood characters being used,
which contained only the principal parts
of the Old and New Testaments. This is
the so-called "Biblia Pauperum," one of
the rarest bibliographic curiosities, a copy
of which was bought by the Duke of
Devonshire in 1815, who pld only 1
for it. -
England occupies a prominent place in
the history of the Vulgate and In its
preservation, as, the' purest text being In
Milan. Naples and in the southern
provinces. Archbishop Theodore and his
companion, Hadrian, abbot of a monas
tery near NapleB, went to England In
668, taking with them some of these
Bibles. Besides, Just at that time Benedict
Blscop and Ceolfrid, traveling between
Rome and England, brought in other pure
Vulgate texts, which were copied and
reproduced in the monasteries of Wear
mouth and Jarrow. not only for local
English women are the entertaining
powers of the English men. They are
voluntarily delightful. They make an
effort (if necessary) to be pleasantly
talkative and amusing.
And, notwithstanding the traditional
slurs on British bumor. the English so
ciety man is delicioualy humorous, and
often as brilliantly witty as our own
Americans.
At the dinner I have mentioned above.
I was seated next to a somewhat Insignificant-looking
young man of true English
splck-and-spanness, and with a delightful
drawl, almost like the one written as dia
lect in international novels.
Perhaps in consideration of my probable
American attitude toward British humor,
he good naturedly amused me with Jokes
directed against his national peculiarities.
He described graphically an English
man who was blindly groping about in
his brain for a good story which he had
heard and stored away there. "Ah, yes,"
said the supposed would-be Jester; "the
man was ill; and he said his physician
advised that he should every morning
take a cup of coffee and take a walk
around the place'
"He had missed the point, do you see."
explained my amusing neighbor, "and the
Joke should have been 'take a cup of cof
fee, and take a walk on the grounds,' do
you see?"
So pleased was the young man with
the whole story, that I laughed in sym
pathy, and he went on to say:
"But you Americans make Just the
same mistakes about our jokes. . Now
only last week Punch had a ripping line
asking why the Americans were making
such a fuss about Bishop Potter, and said
any one would think he was a meat
potter. Now one of your New Yon daily
Denouncing the course taken by a
certain ' political party.
papers borrowed the thing, and made It
read, 'What's the matter with Bishop Pot
ter? Any one would think he was a
meat packer. 'Pon my honor. Miss Em
mins, I know that for a fact!"
"Then I think," I replied, "that we
ought never again to throw stones
With an Old Sport
us.
' dHASK-HIRlNG -ACROSS-TRE-DIAMDND-
1 A
rimi-DINS-UPIJNTaiI-,mE-THIRD-ME-L1NL
LOVE FOR
use, but to be spread by missionaries in
foreign countries, especially Germany,
France and Switzerland, and, strange as
It may seem, even back to Italy. But
what is stranger still is that these copies,
known under the name of Northumbrian
texts, had been transcribed with such
exactness that when they returned to
Italy they were found to be purer than
the Italian copies, which meanwhile had
degenerated. One of the attempts., to
revise the Vulgate was made by Charles
the Great, who Intrusted the work to an
Englishman, Alcuin.
In the century after the invention of
printing the circulation of faulty Bibles
assumed such proportions that the neces
sity was felt of establishing an official
edition. A handsome volume, in 1590, took
the name of the Slxtlne Bible, from Sixtus
V. and had as preface the famous bull,
"Aeternus ille." establishing that this
Bible be considered as "true, lawful,
authentic and unquestioned." Sixtus V.
died almost immediately after, and only
at the British sense of humor,"
In the pause that followed, a bulky
English lord across the table waa
heard denouncing the course taken by
a certain political party. So energetic
were his gestures, and so forceful his
speech, that he had grown very red and
belligerent-looking, and fairly hammered
the table in his indignation.
, The young man next to me looked at
him, as an indulgent father might look
at a naughty child. "Isn't he the saucy
puss?" said my neighbor, turning to me
with such a roguish smile that his re
mark seemed the funniest thing I had
ever heard.
I. frankly told my attractive dinner
partner that the men of London society
were for more entertaining than the
women. Ho did not seem surprised at
this, but seemed to look upon -It as an
accepted condition.
I glanced across the table at a young
EngllFh woman. She was an "Honorable"
and possessed a Jointed surname. She
was attired with great wealth and unbe
comingness, and, to sum her up In a
general way, she looked as if she did
not write poetry.
"Tee," she was saying, "cabs are cheap
with us, tout If you ride a lot in a day,
they count up." This Is a stock remark
with London women and I was not sur
prised to hear it again.
I glanced at my young man. He too
had heard, and he qunickly caught my
mental attitude.
"Yes," he said, "English women and
girls are very fit; they're good form, ac
complished, and all that. But, though
they know a lot, somehow er their mind
don't Jell."
As this exactly expressed my own
opinion. I was delighted at his clever
phrasing of It.
But if the Englishman is charming as
a dinner guest, he is even more so when
he is host, as he often is at afternoon tea.
And though I attended many teas pre sided
over by London men, all others
fade Into insignificance beside the one
given me at the Punch?onice.
I was the only guest, the host was the
genial and miraculously clever Editor of
Punch.
The tea was of the ordinary London
deliciousness, the cakes and thin bread
and butter were, as always, over there,
the best in the world; but It was served
to us 'on the historic Punch table, tho
great table where every Friday night,
since the beginning of that publication.
Its editorial staff has dined.
And as each diner at some time cut
his monogram into the table, the semi
polished surface shows priceless me
morials of the great British authors, art
ists and illustrators.
I was informed by my kind host that
I might sit at any place I chose. 1
hesitated between Thackeray's and
Mark Lemon's, but finally by a sudden
impulse I dropped Into a chair in front of
the monogram of George du Maurler.
The editor of Punch smiled a little, but
he only said, "You Americans are a hu
morous people."
CONTINUED
FROM PAGE 9
THE BIBLE
two years later Clement VIII ordered that
every copy of the'Bixtlne Bible should be
destroyed, and published another called
the "Clementine." It seems that Sixtus
V had himself revised the work of the
Commission, hurting the feelings of the
members and offending the Jesuits, who
never rested until they obtained the sup
pression of the Slxtlne Bible, now one of
the rarest books In the world.
Leo XIII created the Commission "De
re Bibiica." presided over by Cardinal
Rampolla, for the study of the Scrip
tures, but It remained an academic body,
while Pius X desired to transform it into
an institution for practical work. So. on
April 30. 1907. Cardinal Rampolla wrote a
letter to Dom Hildebrand de Hemptinne,
abbot primate of the Benedictines, who
used to live In England, intrusting tjie
new revision of the Vulgate to them, and
straightway appointing Abbot Gasquet as
head of the committee. The English abbot
admirably fulfils the requirements of so
responsible a position.