10
THE NORTH BANK ROAD'S BIG BRIDGES.
f- - rnrT"f "T" "IT l"1, fi lir'ffriiir irMwif 'i r -tti r ir";fci-tir n ' w 'iir ' i ifrf liiiiirnjliiiiisirti i- t Mr if t Ins ntiijpt ti irtu f i iti i rii . r. i it r. fu i'i n tj-i i ..i.v Tii 3ii . .i
m4z&Y. Slits' . '. - - . - V --
ORK on the two bi(f railroad
bridges arross the Columbia and
Willamette rivers, being built by
the Spokane. Portland & Seattle Rail
way, is going ahead at a rapid rate. The
hammering of pneumatic riveters can be
heard clear across the Peninsula as the
workmen drive the white-hot bolta home,
and the flylnfr sparks make- a pretty pic
lure to all interested in the development
of Portland, who are giving a warm
welcome to the new railroad.
Both bridges will bo completed eerly
during the coming Summer. The chords
of the big Columbia River structure,
which is one of the longest railroad
bridges in America, are being placed one
by one and the bridge is practically com
pleted across the main channel of the
Columbia River. However, much work
remains to be done, for the structure
will extend across Hayden's Island on a
trestle and over the Oregon Slough and
the lowlands between the slough and the
mainland of the Peninsula. In all, the
bridge will be 5407 feet long when com
pleted, or over a mile. The slough and
lowlands will be crossed by eight spans,
with' a draw span, all of which will be
14K6 feet in length. The island will be
crossed by trestle work 2135 feet long and
the main channel requires a bridge of
30 spans, with 10 piers and two abutments
for tlie approaches, a distance of 1806
feet.
The structure will be remarkable for
ils strength, being a double-track bridge,
with its piers sunk firmly in the bed of
cement gravel far under the ooze of the
river bottom. The draw span will be
placed in the center of the channel and
will be 466 feet long, allowing a wide
opening for the passing of all craft up
and down the river.
The Willamette River bridge is also
well along. It tqo, will be a double-track
structure and its piers are moored in the
same bed of hard gravel that underlies
both rivers as well as the Peninsula.
The structure will be 1598 feet in length
and will have five spans and two ap
proaches. The cost of the two bridges will be
BACK TO THE OLD FARMHOUSE AGAIN
Kansas City Journal.
POTt weeks and weeks the prepara
tions had been in progress. At
h.st the great day was come.
Eustace Jerceval Snookins, the only
son, was to return to the old farm
after having been graduated from
Harvard. Returning with him was his
sister, Alcwynette Ysolde Snookins, the
only daughter, who had Just been grad
uated from Vassar.
Kor weeks and weeks, as stated, all
hands on the farm had been on the
kee veeve.
The proud and happy old farmer and
his .wife drove ovr to the station in
the. green and red-bodied wagon six
hours ahead of time to meet their
progeny. They bought-10 cents- worth
of crackers and cheese wherewith to
heguile the time during their long wait
for the train, and fed the horses In the
back of the wagon.
When the train at length pulled In
their excitement was great.
But they scarcely recognized their
offspring when, the latter swung off
the trajn. .
The one-time freckle-faced, angular,
gawky, shambling Kustace Perceval
Snookins was now only a shade under
nix feet two, with Atlas shoulders, and
Im looked as if he might be able to
give Hackenschmidt a tussle on the
mat. He was togged in a $65 suit of
clothes and there was a gay, var!-col-ured
band around his rakish soft hat.
Alcywnette Ysolde Snookins also was
nearly the entire bill of lading. From
a hanky-punk hoyden, with Involuntary
warts on all the digits of both hands,
she had blossomed into an Atalanta in
a tailored suit that looked as it it had
been painted on. and a flower pot hat
that was not only up with but three
Jumps ahead of the millinery mode.
She was about five feet ten, Hebe-
mSA
sr-f
X3k
MA
3 i -M . .....; . ... . . -
X:
about COO0.OO0. James J. Hill being will
ing to pay this big sum for tracks to
enter Portland, exclusive of expensive
terminals. Such costly double-track
bridges ought to allay the thoughtless
prediction being made In some quarters
shaped, and if she wasn't a raging
roaring beauty, then the Empress of
China is one. Alcwynette Ysolde
Snookins, getting off the train, looked
as if she belonged In a London
Graphic picture of a royal lawn fete,
engaged in dipping out champagne, un
der a flapping marquee, for the Due de
Coignegit. '
"Why, hullo, there, pop!" exclaimed
Eustace Perceval, clutching his father's
proud, horny paw. "Same old fringe, I
see!" playfully twiddling the old man's
Galways. "Pipe the high-waters!"
lng gaily at his dad's homespun trous
ers, which were somewhat hesitant
about the shoe tops. "Still wearing
home-made suspenders, I see, and
home-made haircuts! Well, well, dear
old pop!" and the bright, sunny-haired
lad once more clutched hi father's
weather-browned hand.
"Why, hav-o, maw!" said Alcwynette
Ysolde to her mother, offering her a
pretty cheek to kiss. "You look some
on the fritz, maw! Still getting out of
the shucks at S o'clock every morning
and milking those 30 Holstelns, I
s'pose? My word, the same old Paisley
shawl, I do declare! And say, maw, how
your nose docs shine, doesn't it? Don't
they sell any talcum around here? And
the same old cameo brooch! Tush,
mamma, and I see you're wearing a
pair of the hired man's shoes! Dear old
maw!" ,
Never before were such happy greet
ings heard in Dumpvale!
They drove home to the old farm In
the red and green bodied wagon, Eus
tace Perceval and Alcwynette Ysolde
kidding each other about it and also
stringing the staring population that
lined the road.
"Well, well, it won't do it will not
eerve," remarked Eustace Perceval
when once more, after his long ab
sence, he had crossed beneath the old
8
THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN. PORTLAND. MAY ' 3. 1908.
HI I
-j- . ' - s v,vx . : 7ri 'x - Mill
'.J. ' -vwMaTOim J I
32dZD42M&JJ2AZ&jSZVZ u&ZTD ?EMJT2ZE -KATr.i&yqr
that the bulk of the freight brought
down over the North Bank road will be
shipped from Vancouver instead of" Port
land. Ernest Nickerson, who had charge of
the construction of the Willamette River
lintel. "Looks like the cottar's Satur
day night, the hull shack.
"Pop, you want to tear It down right
away and build a house a sure
enough humink house. D'ye mean to
say that you eat in this corner of the
cave still?
"Why, ay, guv, 'a Chink wouldn't
stow chop suey In his face in such a
dining-room as this on the level he
wouldn't! The hull blooming plant's
got to come down, that's all, and an
honest Injun house to live In has got
to be built on this site."
"Well, If this wouldn't snap your E.
string!!' murmured Alcwynette Yeolde,
gazing about her g-loomily. "Same old
red imitation damask tablecloth with
holes in it on the dining-room table, I
see.
"And didn't I write to you. maw,
and ask you to put up some Swiss cur
tains Instead of those mummy
wrappings? And say Eusty, hold me,
will you? look at that Middle Ages
contraption in the front room that
whatnot with the dinky sea shells and
the curled-up autumn leaves and Junk
spraddled all over it! Wouldn't that
impede your movements?
"Wouldn't that locomotor-atax any
body? There's no use talking, maw,
you've got to cut out this antediluvian
business and get next, or there'll be
something transpiring around here, and
that's no wireless from the Bad Lands.
"Why, this dump looks like four days
over the mountains on mule back in
darkest Kentucky doesn't it, Eusty?"
The old farmer and his wife-:
However, Just a moment, please.
If the gentle reader expects that this
story is going to wind up in the conven
tional fashion of the epoch he might as
well turn over to the real estate .news
and the automobile notes.
The conversational method of terminat
ing the story would be to portray the
V
.... .-SiSsate
bridge, has been compelled to leave
Portland for the East to recover his
health. He confined himself so closely to
the work that, he became ill, but it is
hoped he will 'be able to return to see
the completion of the work he has- car
horny-handed old farmer in the act of
vulgarly expectorating on his mitts, roll
ing up his sleeves, inviting Eustace Per
ceval out to the old red barn, handing
Eustace Perceval more than was coming
to him with a fence picket for about 13
minutes or more and then putting Eus
tace Perceval -at work cleaning an old set
of harness with a bum rag and a bottle
of neatsfoot oil.
And in like conventional manner the
radiant Alcwynette Ysolde's mother
would be pictured as proceeding to prance
in to that young woman with an assorted
line of Cynthia conversation on the sub
ject of Alcwynette Ysolde's having got
too big and bulgy for her shirtwaists,
and Alcwynette Ysolde would be shown
as rigged out in a green and red Persian
pattern calico wrapper and set to work
washing and ironing the hired man's lin
gerie. But i
It is intended to cleave unto strictly
truthful, even If disappointing, delinea
tions, or what actually happens in cir
cumstances such as these herewith pre
sented, even at the sacrifice of the comio
supplement spirit.
Therefore
Eustace Perceval and Alcwynette
Ysolde Immediately became the main
push and the only recognizable noise un
der the old vine and fig tree. The old
man and woman were more tickled and
proud the more their progeny bucked
and kicked, and Eustace and Alcwy
weren't permitted to get their hands sun
burnt, but lolled on the porch all day,
reading best sellers, and the more lugs
they put on the more the old folks liked
it; and Eusty and Alcwy are now sojourn
ing at Asheville, waiting for a new house
to go up on the site of the old one; and
at the end of the Southerning season
Alcwy is going to spend a month or so in
New York, picking out tapestries and
bijouterie for the ornamentation of the
new home, with particular reference to
an all-bras3 swan-shaped bed for her own
room, while Eusty is going to tarry in
New York to purchase tennis racquets
and foils and boxing gloves and pictures
of Immodest soubrette persons wherewith
4
;yjtiniii.j .
Pi
"Slim
IP
1
fv??g-
ried on so well. B. I. Crosby, who has
been in charge of the construction of
the Columbia River bridge since it was
started, is also superintending the erec
tion of the steel superstructure on the
Willamette bridge.
to decorate his den In the new home on
the old farm.
Sad, Iconoclastic work, this thing of
being compelled to straighten out the
gnarled kinks of the indurate funnyists,
but facts are facts, and the time is nigh
when they should be recognized as such.
Tba Smoker's Sad Liot.
Chicago Evening Post.
The man who tmokes 10-cent cigars
Or two-fers, stogies, or a plp.
Who puffs Inside the smoking cars
The smokestack's human prototype ,
(Perhaps that simile's not right.
But "pipe" has none too many rhymes)
Is apt to hear this day or night
Till through his memory it chimes:
"You smoke too much."
If he complains about his health
And says that his digestion's bad.
They drop the hint on him by stealth
And for the opening are glad.
If he observes that times are hard
And that he cannot save enough,
With this remark they'll interlard
His constant rhythmic draw and puff;
"You smoke too much."
It gets so when he misses trains.
Or buys a suit that doesn't nt,
Or when his taste for drama wanes.
Or when he shows a caustic wit.
Or when his hair is falling out.
Or when his teeth begin to ache.
Some critic then Is sure to shout
And this remark is what he'll make: -"You
smoke too much."
No matter what the poor man does,
No matter what he doesn't do,
No matter what the poor man was.
Nor what hard luck he struggles through;
If he should have Ingrowing nails.
Or If his eyes are getting weak.
Or if his voice in singing falls,
Somebody else is sure to speak:
"You smoke too much."
m
In the Pasture.
I love the kind old bossle-cow
Who gives nice milk to me,
And often do I wonder how
, That bossle-caw can b '
So patient in the field all day
And eat her clover meal
With files a-buzxlng every way.
Tve wondered a great deal,
She looks so happy and so mild.
Now this is what I think
She says: "How that desr little child
Will like this milk to drink!"
One Over the Columbia With Approaches
More Than a Mile Long.
?..- :, ... ..
KB
THE IMP IN
A Famous Speech on
Robert G. Ingersoll.
I am aware that there is a prejudice
against any man who manufactures al
cohol. I believe that from the time It
issues from the colled and poisonous
worm in the distillery until it empties
into the Jaws of death, dishonor and
crime It demoralizes everybody that
touches It from its source to where it
ends. I do not believe anybody can con
template the object without being
prejudiced against the liquor crime. Ail
we have to do, gentlemen, is to think of
the wrecks on either bank of the stream
of death, of the suicides, of the insanity,
of the Ignorance, of the destitution, of
the little children tugging at the faded
and withered breast of weeping and des
pairing mothers, of wives asking . for
bread, of the men of genius It has
wrecked, the men struggling with Imagi
nary serpents, produced by the devilish
thing; and when you thing of the Jails,
of flie almshouses, of the asylums, of the
prisons, of the scaffolds upon either
bank. I do not wonder that every
thoughtful man is prejudiced against this
damned stuff called "alcohol."
Intemperance cuts down youth In its
vigor,, manhood in Its strength, old age
In its weakness. It breaks the father's
heart, bereaves the doting mother, ex
tinguishes natural affection, erases con
lugal love, blots out filial attachment.
Knht. n.rpntal hoDes. brings down
mourning age In sorrow to the grave,
nmnoss wMknpmi. not strength: si'
It
sick-
ness, not health; death, not life. It
Makes wives widows, children orphans,
fathers fiends: and all of them paupers
and beggars.
It feeds rheumatism, in
EVOLUTION
Ijingdon Smith.
When you were a tadpole and I was a fish,
Tn the Paleosole time.
And side by side on the ebbing tide
W sprawled through the ooze and allme.
Or skittered with many a caudal flip
Through the depths of the Cambrian fen.
My heart was rire with the Joy of life.
For I toved you even then.
Mindless we lived and mindless we loved.
And mindless at last we died;
And deep in the rift of the Caradoc drift
We slumbered side by side.
The world turned on In the lathe of time.
The hot lands heaved amain.
Till we caught our breath from the womB
of death,
And crept Into light again.
We were Amphibians, sealed and tailed,
And drab as a dead man's hand;
We colled at ease 'neath the dripping trees.
Or trailed through the mud and sand,
Croaking and blind, with our three-clawed
, feet
Writing a language dumb.
With never a epark In the empty dark
To hint at a life to come.
Yet happy we lived and happy we loved.
And happy we died once more;
Our forms were rolled in the clinging mould
Of a Neoeomlan shore.
The eons came and the eons fled.
And the sleep that wrapped us fast
Was riven away In a newer day.
And the night of death was past.
Then light and swift through the Jungle
trees
We swung In our airy flights.
Or breathed in the balms of the frooded
palms
In 'the hush of the moonless nights.
And oh! what beautiful years were these.
When our hearts clung each to each;
When life was filled and our senses thrilled.
In the first faint dawn of speech.
Thus life by life, and love by love.
We passed through the cycles strange.
And breath by breath and death by death.
We followed the chain of change.
Till there came a time in the law of life
When over the nursing sod
The shadows broke, and the soul awoke
In a strange dim dream of God.
I was thewed like an Auroch bull.
And tusked ' like a great cave bear;
I
THE BOTTLE
the Evils of Intemperance.
vites cholera, imports pestilence and em
braces consumption. It covers the land
with Idleness, misery and crime. It fill
your Jails, supplies your almshouses and
demands your asylums. It engenders
controversies. fosters quarrels and
cherishes riots. It crowds your peniten
tiaries and furnishes victims for your
scaffolds. It is the llfeblood of the
gambler, the element of the burglar, the
prop of the highwayman and support of
the midnight incendiary. It counte
nances the liar, respects the thief,
esteems the blasphemer. It violates ob
ligation, reverences fraud and honors In
famy.1 It defames benevolence, hates
love, scorns virtue and slanders inno
cence. It incites the father to butcher his
helpless offspring, helps the husband to
massacre his wife and the child to grind
the parldal ax. It burns up men.
consumes women, detests life, curses
God, despises heaven. It suborns wit
nesses, nurses perjury, defiles the Jury
box and stains the judicial ermine. It
degrades the citizen, debases the legis
lator, dishonors the statesman and dis
arms the patriot. It brings shame, not
honor; misery, not safety; despair, not
hope; sorrow, not happiness, and with
the malevolence of a fiend it calmly sur
veys its frightful desolation and un
satiated havoc.' It poisons felicity, kills
peace, ruins morals, blights confidence,
slays reputation, and wipes out national
honor, then curses the world and laughs
at its ruin. It does all that and more.
It murders the soul. It is the sum of all
villainies, the father of all crimes, the
mother of all abominations, the devil's
best friend and God's worst enemy.
And you. my sweet, from head to feet.
Were gowned In your glorious hair.
Deep In the gloom of a tireless cave.
When the ulcht fell over the Dlaln.
And the moon hung red o'er the river bed.
We mumbled the bones of the slain.
I flaked a flint to a cutting edge.
And shaped it with brutish craft;
I broke a shank from the woodland dank.
And fitted It. head and haft.
Then I hid me close to the reedy tarn
Where the mammoth pame to drink
Through brawn and bone I drave the stone.
And slew him upon the brink.
Loud I howled through the moonlit wastes,
Jjoud answered our kith and kin.
From west and east to the crimson feast
The clan came trooping In.
O'er Joint and gristle and padded hoof.
We fought and clawed and tore.
And cheek by Jowl, with many a growl.
We talked the marvel o'er.
I carved that fight on a reindeer bona,
WTllh rude and hairy hand.
I pictured his fall on the cavern wall
That men might understand
For we lived by blood, and the -right of
might.
E'er human laws were drawn.
And the age of sin dtd not begin
Till our brutal tusks were gone.
And that was a million years ago,
In a time that no man knows;
Yet here tonight, in the mellow light.
We sit at Delmonico's.
xour e are ueup as me luvhii springs.
Your hair Is as dark as Jet.
Your years are few. your life is new.
Your soul untried, and yet
Our trail is on the Klmmerldge clay.
Knti ma sco " f in. I'i.t-Y, l -
We have left our bones In the Bagshol
stones.
And deep In the Corallne crags;
Our love Is old. our lives are old.
And death shall come amain;
Should It come today, what man may say
We shall not live again.
Then as we linger at luncheon here.
O'er many a dainty dish.
Let us drink anew to the time when you
Were a tadpole and 1 a fish.